Yasmin was the mother's favorite because she was best able to stuff down her feelings and pretend that everything was ok. That's what the mother does and wanted so she rewarded Yasmin for it.
Interesting, I had a conversation with my mom recently. I had always thought that my brother was the favourite- but my mom said it was because my brother never questioned her and always kept quiet, whereas I have always been outspoken and would question her and she found that irritating and disrespectful. But recently she said that she only realised after that me questioning her wasn’t disrespectful but was actually insightful and that I brought a different perspective to how things had been. I was actually surprised when she revealed this and it made me understand how she had been viewing me and hence her reactions towards me.
It's funny how Pam was the one with the most reservations in the beginning then in the end she was the one that was able to receive the healing. God be knowing
Yasmin is the type of person I would be scared of growing up with too. Causing pain but they don't see it, when you address them in details they either detach or simply don't understand a thing you're saying.
I was cooking while playing the video in the background, and when I heard that "baby girl", my head snapped around so fast. Like girl, you in big danger. 👀😳💀
It’s really crazy because we all need a certain amount of healing. EVERYBODY does. And seeing this is eye opening because I do not want to be their age still trying to heal. That’s why I’m doing the work now.
She may have been the most abused and traumatized of the three, who knows. Maybe the trauma is so bad she can’t even open herself up to talking about the past.
They went through all of this and ended up not speaking? I couldn’t stand Pam from the minute she came on the screen - and then she became my favorite after Iyanla broke down those walls. I’m so pissed that they ended up not returning her calls. She was the worst one and seemed to be the most open to healing.
Her walking in making all that noise. And walking away for what she did with her sister's husband. Its really all about all her selfishness. Her mother taught her to be selfish by making her the favourate.
It’s about her trauma. It’s about trauma for all three sisters. Yasmin may be so traumatized she can’t even think about the past and her outward behavior is a shield.
3 broken women smh. Each dealing with it in their own ways with 3 different coping mechanisms; Yolanda is the tough one, Yasmine is the life of the party, and Pam goes inward & keeps people away.
Summary: Pam - short red hair: twin with yolanda, molested by neighbor. Seems authentic and understands her wounds and her damagedness. Yasmin - blonde, loud, older sister: the mother's favorite, hurricane, molested by neighbor. She hooked up with Yolanda's boyfriend. Yasmin seems to enjoy being needed by her sisters + rejecting her sisters when they need her, as a power move. I think that's how her mom treated the twins too. She feels superior to their emotional needs. Seems in denial about her trauma and wants to seem better than her sisters. Feels their mom did her best and didn't know they were molested. Feels ganged up on. Yolanda - twin with pam: doesn't remember if she was molested. Also seems authentic and willing to try. Iylana says: *the way they treat each other and treat themselves is the way their mom treated them* wow. I can definitely see this in my own life too. *the walls we use to keep us safe, keep others out* I really appreciate the lens of accepting that their mom failed them. It feels like being gaslit when ppl say you're parents did their best, period. Okay you did your best - but you failed. I think it's important that we are allowed to say "mom, you failed" because it's not about us (the kid) doing something to cause parents to suck. THEY failed at their job of parenting.
They were more than likely the first families to move in that neighborhood which led to everyone being so close. This is why their mother didn't see anything wrong with leaving her daughters with people who she considered more than just a next door neighbor or the man down the street. It's usually the people who are the closest to us that hurt us the most.
how Pam's mom saw Pam was how she saw herself. How Yasmine's mom (same Gertrude) saw Yas is how she wanted to see herself. I have a feeling she let it happen to her daughters because her mom let it happen to her, and that's why Pam and Yas may not have had kids of their own.
The oldest sister is a complete trainwreck! She's disrespectful dismissive, and downright trifling!!!! the fact that she thinks this behavior is okay, let's me know that she has adopted a Carnal mind, and whatever she's confronted with in regards to her bad behavior, she refuses to take responsibility and generalized it as "life"
I think Yasmine is masking alot of her pain but I do think it was disrespectful how she greeted Pam at the 🚪!! How can you not recognize your own sister?!
I hope Yasmin didn't have kids. People who go through life starting fires and drama to hurt people and draw attention to themselves, then run away after they leave the fires burning--they are horrible people to be around and even worse parents.
Something about iyanla sitting on the ground really tells you how in it they all were. Could you imagine being in your house and looking out the window and seeing all this going on? I'd be in the porch waving just like the taxi driver.
Made me cringe when Iyanla forced her to make eye contact and guilted her for not feeling comfortable with physical touch. Love Iyanla but sometimes there are other things in play that affect how people show up.
@@digiforcestaffing6944in order to heal you gotta be willing to get uncomfortable even for a brief second. Let your walls down and let love in. Pam seeked out iyanla to help her heal the relationship between her and her sisters so she’s gotta try.
I wonder how they are doing i really connect with them especially pam and yalonda i really was shock that Yolanda wasn't returning Pam's call either something else happened after the show or she was really sitting up there being fake
I'd be jealous too if if the woman who let me be violated and abandoned me still showered my sister with love and attention like it was nothing. Watch the full episode lol
Trauma, and coming from a family that one side was very cold completely turned me off from touch. I went to a church were the "sisters wanted to hug after every service. The church in my experience was not nice. I would get out as quick as possible to avoid the hugs. My father's family were sweet people whom also hugged. I dodged them like a bullet. God came my a little boy who's love language is touch. One of my greatest memories is when he expectantly came up through the door of my work place picked me up, and embraced me in a fun loving bear hug. I am glad l know how to hug today. I do continue to ask people for permission to hug them because l am sensitive to this issue.
When I watched this, years ago, I got the impression that Pam wasn’t interested in resting her head on the shoulder of, being kissed by, or hugged by, a black woman. In the end, she settled for the hug… but she was not happy. All these years later, I believe that Pam wasn’t interested in resting her head on the shoulder of, being kissed by, or hugged by, a black woman. In the end, she settled for the hug… but she was not happy.
Yasmine I'd do much like my narc sister. She's very vibrant, fake passive aggressive, will sleep with your man and has delusions of grandeur, she will attempt to belittle authority figures and experts. Yasmine came on on that levelling ish by directly addressing yet pretending not to recognise her sister (even though moments later she commented that she looked just like their mother) 🤔 Narcs will do things to try to make you feel inferior from the get go of your interaction. Pam is over the fake ish.
As Much as I truly like Iyanla & love this show, I have to be honest, Iyanla played the biggest role in Yazmin leaving. She spoke to Yazmin as if she was a child, then switched her approach with her when she decided to leave.
Yo’s weak aaah apology would have made me drive off too. I hate when ppl act like they can’t finish their own sentences. Saying everything but what should be said.
&&&&&& this really was a waste of time honselty there really no hope for theses sisters at allllllllll . .&&& iyana did everything she could to fix theses sisters . . .💔💔💔
Honestly I feel like yazmine has the first born curse tbh 💯 the first has the most memories, responsibilities, and knowing tea on the mom and father that young she can’t go against her…. Plus the first born always has trouble connecting to the youngest ones even as adults especially When the youngest are close in age, and are atless 5 or 6 years younger then the oldest… that’s hard to do believe it or not
@@tan_ya_ Its not about being a villain, this is not fiction. They are real people and the matter is how open you are to heal other people and yourself. Yasmine seemed very open to me, even though she is obnoxious. Pam was passive agressive all the time, but because she was hurt, of course. There are no villains in real life, this is not a movie.
Definitely not racist. She’s very traumatized. I think if it was racism it would’ve looked different. Pam became willing to heal and started to trust Iyanla at some point.
Yasmin was the mother's favorite because she was best able to stuff down her feelings and pretend that everything was ok. That's what the mother does and wanted so she rewarded Yasmin for it.
This is quite the insight. I appreciate this.
I’m the oldest and my sister was the youngest and my sister never called my mom out on nothing and their relationship has always been better
Interesting, I had a conversation with my mom recently. I had always thought that my brother was the favourite- but my mom said it was because my brother never questioned her and always kept quiet, whereas I have always been outspoken and would question her and she found that irritating and disrespectful.
But recently she said that she only realised after that me questioning her wasn’t disrespectful but was actually insightful and that I brought a different perspective to how things had been.
I was actually surprised when she revealed this and it made me understand how she had been viewing me and hence her reactions towards me.
It's funny how Pam was the one with the most reservations in the beginning then in the end she was the one that was able to receive the healing. God be knowing
She came to heal the relationship with her sisters and unknowing that she herself would begin to be healed. I am happy for Pam.
She WANTS to heal. She might be reserved but it’s because she’s craving real love.
Some people have to hit rock bottom to reach up. Pam was the only one ready for change
That explains why she didn't want people touching her. Everyone deals with things differently.
Pam is broken at the seams and you can tell. She carries the hurt on her.
"No problem Babygirl," Iyanla said hold up how old are you.
Seems like Yasmine isn’t used to being held accountable
She TRIED IT for sure!
Yooooo I fell out when she said that
And okkkkk auntie will check you on site
Yasmin came in like she was the superstar 😆
Cause her mother set up that hurtful separation
She’s the Marcia of the bunch.
She's full of life
😂😂😂😂
@@DeathByDrone-ORmk84that’s a defense mechanism to not beaware of what happened to her
I loved this from the beginning because I almost assumed the first sister was racist but Iyanla saw the rejection of love 😩😩🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Trust issues is no joke especially when you can't trust your own family. You assume that the love isn't real.
I who’ll was like d her then hahaha
I thought the same thing!! But soon realized she was scared and trust issues at 10000000% max
Narcissistic sister wow
Same!
Yasmin is the type of person I would be scared of growing up with too. Causing pain but they don't see it, when you address them in details they either detach or simply don't understand a thing you're saying.
As soon as she said "babygirl" I said ut-oh, she's in troubbbble."
I was cooking while playing the video in the background, and when I heard that "baby girl", my head snapped around so fast.
Like girl, you in big danger. 👀😳💀
Iyanla is one of my favorite people on TV she inspires so many.
right, I miss her and this show so much
@@WvyGoddess She has some wonderful books, this was a good episode ❤
10 mins in...
Pam-scapegoat child
Yas-golden child
Yol-forgotten child
All orchestrated by "mom"
To theeeeee teeeeee
Yas can’t even see her mom’s faults even though her mom failed to protect her from being abused. She’s lost.
the mom-the covert narcissist
@@nardinadeleon thats enschment
Pam breaks my heart, I'm adding her to my nightly prayers
Iyanla is stunningly beautiful
Right!
It’s really crazy because we all need a certain amount of healing. EVERYBODY does. And seeing this is eye opening because I do not want to be their age still trying to heal. That’s why I’m doing the work now.
SAME
Agree.
Not Ms.Yasmin walking in like she didn’t know that was her sister! Oh she’s something else
“I didn’t even recognize you?!” That’s so nasty to say. She’s all around disrespectful
The fact that she can “forget” her sister’s face says a lot about her
Yasmin ran because she’s afraid to open up and admit what she did wrong.
She ran because she grew up in a toxic home and was molested. As Iyanla said, leaving is her defense mechanism.
Seems Yasmin came to play, was smirking the whole time. Came for her 15 minutes of fame.
Yasmin is a Narcissist, a product of her childhood experiences.
She may have been the most abused and traumatized of the three, who knows. Maybe the trauma is so bad she can’t even open herself up to talking about the past.
Iyanla said I’m not your baby girl. Let her know!!!
They went through all of this and ended up not speaking? I couldn’t stand Pam from the minute she came on the screen - and then she became my favorite after Iyanla broke down those walls.
I’m so pissed that they ended up not returning her calls. She was the worst one and seemed to be the most open to healing.
Her walking in making all that noise. And walking away for what she did with her sister's husband. Its really all about all her selfishness. Her mother taught her to be selfish by making her the favourate.
Yasmin didnt need a reason to run away. 😊
Yasmin and her mother seem like they were more alike..
It’s about her trauma. It’s about trauma for all three sisters. Yasmin may be so traumatized she can’t even think about the past and her outward behavior is a shield.
Really thought the twins would've gotten a better relationship. Thankfully Pam got her healing
Yea I am super confused what happened, they seemed to have a true healing reconnection at the end. Wonder why it was broken again :(
I'm searching all the old programming Mrs. IYANLA I MISS YOU !!!!
3 broken women smh. Each dealing with it in their own ways with 3 different coping mechanisms; Yolanda is the tough one, Yasmine is the life of the party, and Pam goes inward & keeps people away.
The saddest part of these three broken women, is that they are someone mother! Producing and raising more broken souls.
I love iyanla she just seems like the most caring, amazing women I want a hug from herrr
Summary:
Pam - short red hair: twin with yolanda, molested by neighbor. Seems authentic and understands her wounds and her damagedness.
Yasmin - blonde, loud, older sister: the mother's favorite, hurricane, molested by neighbor. She hooked up with Yolanda's boyfriend. Yasmin seems to enjoy being needed by her sisters + rejecting her sisters when they need her, as a power move. I think that's how her mom treated the twins too. She feels superior to their emotional needs. Seems in denial about her trauma and wants to seem better than her sisters. Feels their mom did her best and didn't know they were molested. Feels ganged up on.
Yolanda - twin with pam: doesn't remember if she was molested. Also seems authentic and willing to try.
Iylana says: *the way they treat each other and treat themselves is the way their mom treated them* wow. I can definitely see this in my own life too.
*the walls we use to keep us safe, keep others out*
I really appreciate the lens of accepting that their mom failed them. It feels like being gaslit when ppl say you're parents did their best, period. Okay you did your best - but you failed. I think it's important that we are allowed to say "mom, you failed" because it's not about us (the kid) doing something to cause parents to suck. THEY failed at their job of parenting.
This healing or fixing was meant for Pam and Iyanla really saw that.
What love and patience Iyanla and team showed these sisters and mother
I can relate to pam hope she gets all the help she needs. Yolanda is a strong person but Yasmine is the weakest one i feel sorry for her.
Thats sad that right out of the gate the first sister is so so suspicious and closed off to Ms. V who is to me the embodiment of love and grace.
Yes but thats normal especially if you're not healed and/or aware
@@lbrown1192 it's not normal. She's playing victim
@@DeathByDrone-ORmk84 it is normal did you miss the part where bolestation happened. When that happens it's aftermath that comes with that
Do research about the neighborhood before moving in it. these children shouldn't have to go through this. im proud of pam.
They were more than likely the first families to move in that neighborhood which led to everyone being so close. This is why their mother didn't see anything wrong with leaving her daughters with people who she considered more than just a next door neighbor or the man down the street. It's usually the people who are the closest to us that hurt us the most.
back then they didn't have the resources that are available now.
Pam was totally shut off emotionally, that was sad to see 😪
So is Yasmin, their mom must’ve been a real trip
Her sister is so fake, how you not recognize her own sister
Is Yasmin a drunk? She didn’t get mad because her sister called her the b word, she got mad when she brought up what she did with yolandes ex husband
Jasmine walked in with an energy that screamed “drama queen and fake”.
Thank you Queen Mother Iyanla Vanzant🙌🏾💎👑
Jasmin entrance is like*🌋
Lyanla: did u notice this woman?
Jasmin:.... Silence....... 🤔
Yasmin is a classic narcissist. She’s like my mom, and I’m like Pam. I haven’t spoken to her in 7 years now bc she is the same such hurricane.
Reminds me of Goldie Hawn
Me too !!
Turning that tree into a table they eat off of like that. That was really COOL!! 💓💓
how Pam's mom saw Pam was how she saw herself. How Yasmine's mom (same Gertrude) saw Yas is how she wanted to see herself. I have a feeling she let it happen to her daughters because her mom let it happen to her, and that's why Pam and Yas may not have had kids of their own.
these episodes shake me it’s amazing what sharing, awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness can shift a whole life 💞💞💞💞💞
This episode is giving Brady brunch lowkey
Yasmin also called Pam a “B” and Pam didn’t get offended. The shoe was on the other foot when YoYo called Yas a “B” and she left. 🤔 I don’t get that.
Yasmin thinks she's that gurl............& SHE'S NOT.
AT ALL ….
Yasmin is the most snatched of the sistas.
@@darkskinssOkayy ! 😂 I don’t what they’re talking about
@@BlessAminata Sis, people need to call a spade a spade. Miss Yasmin didn't come to play with her look. 😭
Pam walks away cause as a child she had her own room. Damn
The mother failed them TERRIBLY
The oldest sister is a complete trainwreck! She's disrespectful dismissive, and downright trifling!!!! the fact that she thinks this behavior is okay, let's me know that she has adopted a Carnal mind, and whatever she's confronted with in regards to her bad behavior, she refuses to take responsibility and generalized it as "life"
I think Yasmine is masking alot of her pain but I do think it was disrespectful how she greeted Pam at the 🚪!! How can you not recognize your own sister?!
I agree. She is the most in denial. Sometimes, you have to be alone to process, and Yasmin can't be alone.
Am I the only one who felt like Yasmin was drunk?
she definitely sipped something before walking in the door
Yolanda and Yasmine have abandoned Pam. Yasmine is fake
I hope Yasmin didn't have kids. People who go through life starting fires and drama to hurt people and draw attention to themselves, then run away after they leave the fires burning--they are horrible people to be around and even worse parents.
This!! Those kids will need massive therapy
Yasmin seems like the touch luck baby type of person. Like it is what it is and has petty ways
12:09 😂 lol that part 😂
Bruh!😂
Wait. I thought she wasn't doing TV anymore. Pam looks like she has a thousand pounds of pain in her.
This is OLD old 😂 like very old
@@Jia9s Getting my damn hopes up
@@Metonymy1979 Yes sadly. But her reasoning was nice. Said there were too many people using her platform for trivial reasons or just to get on tv
Yasmin wants her sisters to chase her from leaving and Yasmin probably thinks she's the bad person here that's why's she left
Something about iyanla sitting on the ground really tells you how in it they all were. Could you imagine being in your house and looking out the window and seeing all this going on? I'd be in the porch waving just like the taxi driver.
Yas knew she was the problem…she started off saying she was going to get jumped on 😂
This was the saddest to watch.
U can be stuck with a broken fractured mother but with therapy I can pray forgive apply distance
Oouuu wee say that again
I wish she can help me heal In my life
I wish Pam is ok...
Pam is almost certainly on the spectrum. Yes she was severely abused and def has ptsd, but she is also showing signs of being on the spectrum.
Made me cringe when Iyanla forced her to make eye contact and guilted her for not feeling comfortable with physical touch. Love Iyanla but sometimes there are other things in play that affect how people show up.
@@digiforcestaffing6944in order to heal you gotta be willing to get uncomfortable even for a brief second. Let your walls down and let love in. Pam seeked out iyanla to help her heal the relationship between her and her sisters so she’s gotta try.
I wonder how they are doing i really connect with them especially pam and yalonda i really was shock that Yolanda wasn't returning Pam's call either something else happened after the show or she was really sitting up there being fake
I looked them up on google it said Yolanda passed away 😢
Yasmin is exactly like her mother
They all have wounds and hurt - it’s so sad
lol 35:39 made me chuckle 😅
I usually agree with Iyanla on most things but her not recognizing persist that she had not seen in many years was in no way disrespectful
Let her go!
Pam seems the most hurt and pain. If she has kids, I wonder does she hug them.
Yolanda was the kindest of all three. Is it true that Yolanda passed after this . How can we verify that? Does anyone here have a link??
26:12-26:16 dawg I don’t even know yasmin but I can picture saying that abs smirking when she said it. Yolonda should’ve fought her.
Love herrrr
I think the twins were taking their anger for their mom out on their sister Yasmin.
I love Iyanla but sometimes her style and approach isn’t the best.
Yasmine was selfish and a diva. I don’t feel sorry for her but rather she should work through her pain rather than running away
Her sister is so fake. The one with the red shirt.
@@LakeishaMonique Jasmin is fake
I have one of those sisters
This was sad.
I was just wondering if she ever came to Detroit
Girl why she wear that dress. She must of known she was going to get all the heat
Jealousy is why Pam hates her twin; it’s evident by appearance alone .. Pam fell 2nd to her Twin socially
I'd be jealous too if if the woman who let me be violated and abandoned me still showered my sister with love and attention like it was nothing.
Watch the full episode lol
Poor Pam!🥹
these are some of the most damaged women ive seen..there tramua is visiable
Wow who rejects a hug?? No judgement just asking?
I was unable to hug for years. My son taught me how.
Trauma, and coming from a family that one side was very cold completely turned me off from touch. I went to a church were the "sisters wanted to hug after every service. The church in my experience was not nice. I would get out as quick as possible to avoid the hugs. My father's family were sweet people whom also hugged. I dodged them like a bullet. God came my a little boy who's love language is touch. One of my greatest memories is when he expectantly came up through the door of my work place picked me up, and embraced me in a fun loving bear hug. I am glad l know how to hug today. I do continue to ask people for permission to hug them because l am sensitive to this issue.
Me I don't like hugs they make me feel uncomfortable and awkward. So it can happen
When I get extremely anxious or angry, hugs make me feel trapped.
i love iyanla lax on the beautiful green grass barefoot
When I watched this, years ago, I got the impression that Pam wasn’t interested in resting her head on the shoulder of, being kissed by, or hugged by, a black woman. In the end, she settled for the hug… but she was not happy.
All these years later, I believe that Pam wasn’t interested in resting her head on the shoulder of, being kissed by, or hugged by, a black woman. In the end, she settled for the hug… but she was not happy.
??? Are you crazy? She even swatted her own sisters hand. She was molested. This has nothing to do with race. You're sick
don’t understand why after this the twins fell out
Yasmine I'd do much like my narc sister. She's very vibrant, fake passive aggressive, will sleep with your man and has delusions of grandeur, she will attempt to belittle authority figures and experts.
Yasmine came on on that levelling ish by directly addressing yet pretending not to recognise her sister (even though moments later she commented that she looked just like their mother) 🤔 Narcs will do things to try to make you feel inferior from the get go of your interaction.
Pam is over the fake ish.
As Much as I truly like Iyanla & love this show, I have to be honest, Iyanla played the biggest role in Yazmin leaving. She spoke to Yazmin as if she was a child, then switched her approach with her when she decided to leave.
Sad no contact between least the twins.
Yo’s weak aaah apology would have made me drive off too. I hate when ppl act like they can’t finish their own sentences. Saying everything but what should be said.
I don’t agree with forcing someone to be touched. I like a lot of what Iyanla does but she guilts people and is too aggressive at times.
&&&&&& this really was a waste of time honselty there really no hope for theses sisters at allllllllll . .&&& iyana did everything she could to fix theses sisters . . .💔💔💔
I don’t like that Iyanla pushed pushed pushed her boundary I would have been angry.
Yes. I love Iyanla but I think at times she needs a therapist on the set. These women needed therapy. Iyanla is a life coach. This is NOT a diss.
I’m good with 5+
Honestly I feel like yazmine has the first born curse tbh 💯 the first has the most memories, responsibilities, and knowing tea on the mom and father that young she can’t go against her…. Plus the first born always has trouble connecting to the youngest ones even as adults especially
When the youngest are close in age, and are atless 5 or 6 years younger then the oldest… that’s hard to do believe it or not
I'm sorry, but Pam seems very manipulaive to me, crying victim but at the same time being the center of attention. At first, Yasmin seems very open
did we watch the same thing? Yasmine is the real villain.
@@tan_ya_ Its not about being a villain, this is not fiction. They are real people and the matter is how open you are to heal other people and yourself. Yasmine seemed very open to me, even though she is obnoxious. Pam was passive agressive all the time, but because she was hurt, of course. There are no villains in real life, this is not a movie.
She is very manipulative at playing victim. It's become her identity.
I think they wear their hurts differently because they never discussed it
@@Simplykiebby 🎯🎯🎯
The first sister was definitely racist at first, sorry
No, she was molested as a child and has trouble with physical touch. How hard is it to understand. Trauma doesn’t discriminate.
Definitely not racist. She’s very traumatized. I think if it was racism it would’ve looked different. Pam became willing to heal and started to trust Iyanla at some point.
You being South African, I completely understand why you'd think that. But I really don't think she was being racist, you can see the trauma
Yasmin really is a coward. I wonder how life is for her now since she felt comfortable in those messed up patterns 🤔
That lady Pam has a screw loose. She couldn't even hug Iyanla so already I knew she was a mess..
But she turned out to be the most sensible one out of the 3 and made the most progress.
There needs to be a movie about these 3 sisters!!! They have a lot to tell about!!
Racist is the game here too much of herself but to this black strong woman that is holding the 4th good job my friendo yes let her do her own work 👏