The feeling of detachment was always present. Being highly sensitive but detached is a key INFJ quality imo. I was lucky to have a lovely mother. She wasn’t smothering but she was a good ESFJ. She had no side or unkindness in her. Adolescence and early teenage years were difficult but I managed to keep things together in spite of this - I think this is also a key INFJ strength/trait. We can take a lot of suffering without causing problems for others or extraverting the issues.
I'll say mine was a 'difficult' childhood. Misunderstood is an understatement. Interactions with my peers were horrible. Mom was protective & supportive (maybe too much) but didn't understand me, and Dad didn't have a clue. That didn't change until I was an adult when they came to appreciate my differences. I treated raising my own children way differently, although having Sensors as mothers complicated things and often negated my intent.
My Mother is ENFJ. She was a single mom and raised me and my brother (INTP) all on her own (my dad is ISFP but I'm not going to discuss him). My mom and I are so similar in so many ways, but yet so different. We're both deeply drawn to the mystical world and the human mind. We're both creative people, and we're both empaths (and sometimes people pleasers, unfortunately). We get along fantastically, but never truly see eye to eye on anything. We share the same functions, (and a birthday, in fact) but it's that different order of the functions that changes everything. Whereas she feels comfortable just living in the moment and never digging too deep into anything (Se tertiary, Ti inferior), I tend to analyze everything obsessively until there's nothing left, and I constantly find myself living in the future, dreaming up scenarios and planning on how to make them happen in the real world. I'm also terrible at socializing (I don't know if this is due to me being autistic, INFJ, or perhaps both), and I enjoy being on my own. My Mom, however is a social butterfly, and is able to keep up with so many different people's lives. I don't know how she remembers all of that personal information. She's super focused, and I'm scatter minded. Despite our differences, she's the one who started me on my spiritual journey. Thanks to her, I was exposed to Law of Attraction and Power of Positive Thinking (which I have never believed, for the record) from birth, and she had me reading Eckhart Tolle at the age of 8. Although, whereas my mom is satisfied with that kind of 'Oprah Philosophy', I hungered for something deeper. But it was this 'Oprah Philosophy' and my mom's special love and understanding of the mystical world that helped prepare me for the more complex works of Jung, Freud, Lacan, etc. I'm eternally grateful to her. She may not be my role model, but she certainly has always been my greatest inspiration.
Esoterically/spiritually speaking, not to get too too deep. Lol But our childhood upbringing being rough is also a reflection of what we need to learn about ourselves. And through those experiences, depending on how we react & learn, we liberate ourselves, then liberate others. Hence, why we're considered the counselors or the psychologists, or spiritual leaders/mystics. The same family you've felt alienated by as a kid, then become the same family that ends up coming to you for psychological/ spiritual guidance & advice or therapy sessions. Well, at least that's in my case. Lol
@Staff_Sgt_Dignam Yeah, that change is really on them. My family are still kinda lost & psychologically immature,too. We can only be the example of liberation, and do so much.
@ Very true. My family was largely raised in a high control religion, so they also considered me a spiritual leader. Something that got me bullied by non-religious family members and also by my peers. But hey, we learn a lot and do our best.
@@Staff_Sgt_Dignam Right! Same here. There's a big difference in man made religion, and true spirituality, which is about individuality & understanding our own inner space/world. And since we're Ni dominate, we have a better understanding of the soul/spirit, and more than likely we've been through more lifetimes of experiences than them. Hence, why we're also considered "old souls" . So ironically, we end up being spiritually older than the people that raised us. We can independently psychologically & spiritually liberate ourselves through those rough childhood experiences. And because of that, it automatically makes us the leaders. They come to us, but we have no one to go to. And, we give advice/guidance, only for them to do the opposite. Then, come back to us complaining, like we didn't tell them better. 🤦🏾♂️ So it's a patience thing, too.
Yep. Conscious Patterns and now you, same five minutes. I wonder why. Mad respect while I’m still watching, and truly, effectively listening. Self-Forced ENTP; dad’s interpreted kinda ESTJ. Thank you for this video.
I started creating elaborate fantastical stories in my mind (which usually somehow addressed my problems of the day) at the age of 7 😂 I was very clear that they were not real, but still enjoyed spending hours imagining them!
I remember daydreaming a lot as a kid. I think it allowed me to have a ton of energy which I would spend outdoors with xSTP kids, even if I couldn't keep up with them when it comes to dexterity. My mother was an architect and also was later doing work on shop displays and ads and also architectural projects so I naturally developed interest in art and crafts. My mother was also into plenty of woo-woo stuff like paranormal magazines, ancient astronaut theories, etc. - which I have read too. Not sure what type she is, could be ENFP or ENTJ. When it comes to my father. I think he's some kind of a NFJ. It turned out he was cheating on my mother when she was pregnant. So, naturally my mother broke up with him. He has married another woman and had 4 children with her and also was sleeping around. He was trying to starve me by dodging child support until I was about 12. He was a typical charismatic type. I think it made me dislike and suppress Fe charisma on some level. He was pretty much an anti-role model for me. Because of him I was very poor during childhood and it was super stressful.
Both of my parents were actually pretty chill and amazing (ISTP and INTP) the problem lies with my older half brother (ENTP) who was extremely toxic and narcissistic, towards me mainly. Parents tried their best with him but he was a lost cause and then it was me and my younger siblings who they had greater success with parenting (I was the least problematic). Mainly it was the adults outside my family that had issues with me though and didn't like who I was.
Isn't it interesting how most of us have an ENTP in our childhood at some point, and then an ISP? I too have ENTP father, who i understand so much, we're like best friends, and then there's my ISxP mother, who i constantly "run away from". Also, yeah, fantasies...
The feeling of detachment was always present. Being highly sensitive but detached is a key INFJ quality imo. I was lucky to have a lovely mother. She wasn’t smothering but she was a good ESFJ. She had no side or unkindness in her.
Adolescence and early teenage years were difficult but I managed to keep things together in spite of this - I think this is also a key INFJ strength/trait. We can take a lot of suffering without causing problems for others or extraverting the issues.
I'll say mine was a 'difficult' childhood. Misunderstood is an understatement. Interactions with my peers were horrible. Mom was protective & supportive (maybe too much) but didn't understand me, and Dad didn't have a clue. That didn't change until I was an adult when they came to appreciate my differences. I treated raising my own children way differently, although having Sensors as mothers complicated things and often negated my intent.
Try being an infj , bipolar have add , dyslexia and also gay growing up with a narcissistic father and over-bearing mother.
My Mother is ENFJ. She was a single mom and raised me and my brother (INTP) all on her own (my dad is ISFP but I'm not going to discuss him).
My mom and I are so similar in so many ways, but yet so different. We're both deeply drawn to the mystical world and the human mind. We're both creative people, and we're both empaths (and sometimes people pleasers, unfortunately). We get along fantastically, but never truly see eye to eye on anything.
We share the same functions, (and a birthday, in fact) but it's that different order of the functions that changes everything.
Whereas she feels comfortable just living in the moment and never digging too deep into anything (Se tertiary, Ti inferior), I tend to analyze everything obsessively until there's nothing left, and I constantly find myself living in the future, dreaming up scenarios and planning on how to make them happen in the real world.
I'm also terrible at socializing (I don't know if this is due to me being autistic, INFJ, or perhaps both), and I enjoy being on my own. My Mom, however is a social butterfly, and is able to keep up with so many different people's lives. I don't know how she remembers all of that personal information.
She's super focused, and I'm scatter minded.
Despite our differences, she's the one who started me on my spiritual journey. Thanks to her, I was exposed to Law of Attraction and Power of Positive Thinking (which I have never believed, for the record) from birth, and she had me reading Eckhart Tolle at the age of 8. Although, whereas my mom is satisfied with that kind of 'Oprah Philosophy', I hungered for something deeper. But it was this 'Oprah Philosophy' and my mom's special love and understanding of the mystical world that helped prepare me for the more complex works of Jung, Freud, Lacan, etc.
I'm eternally grateful to her. She may not be my role model, but she certainly has always been my greatest inspiration.
Esoterically/spiritually speaking, not to get too too deep. Lol But our childhood upbringing being rough is also a reflection of what we need to learn about ourselves. And through those experiences, depending on how we react & learn, we liberate ourselves, then liberate others. Hence, why we're considered the counselors or the psychologists, or spiritual leaders/mystics. The same family you've felt alienated by as a kid, then become the same family that ends up coming to you for psychological/ spiritual guidance & advice or therapy sessions. Well, at least that's in my case. Lol
My family alienated me but also expected me to be a counsellor and “The Adult” since I was five years old. Decades later, nothing has changed.
@Staff_Sgt_Dignam Yeah, that change is really on them. My family are still kinda lost & psychologically immature,too. We can only be the example of liberation, and do so much.
@ Very true. My family was largely raised in a high control religion, so they also considered me a spiritual leader. Something that got me bullied by non-religious family members and also by my peers. But hey, we learn a lot and do our best.
@@Staff_Sgt_Dignam Right! Same here. There's a big difference in man made religion, and true spirituality, which is about individuality & understanding our own inner space/world. And since we're Ni dominate, we have a better understanding of the soul/spirit, and more than likely we've been through more lifetimes of experiences than them. Hence, why we're also considered "old souls" . So ironically, we end up being spiritually older than the people that raised us. We can independently psychologically & spiritually liberate ourselves through those rough childhood experiences. And because of that, it automatically makes us the leaders. They come to us, but we have no one to go to. And, we give advice/guidance, only for them to do the opposite. Then, come back to us complaining, like we didn't tell them better. 🤦🏾♂️ So it's a patience thing, too.
@@cacheknock I couldn’t have said it better myself! Hah, I could go on all day about this stuff.
Yep. Conscious Patterns and now you, same five minutes. I wonder why.
Mad respect while I’m still watching, and truly, effectively listening. Self-Forced ENTP; dad’s interpreted kinda ESTJ. Thank you for this video.
I appreciate your videos, so relatable and informative, thank you 🙏
I started creating elaborate fantastical stories in my mind (which usually somehow addressed my problems of the day) at the age of 7 😂 I was very clear that they were not real, but still enjoyed spending hours imagining them!
Very bad childhood; thank you for video & helping us understand ourselves! ❤
I remember daydreaming a lot as a kid. I think it allowed me to have a ton of energy which I would spend outdoors with xSTP kids, even if I couldn't keep up with them when it comes to dexterity.
My mother was an architect and also was later doing work on shop displays and ads and also architectural projects so I naturally developed interest in art and crafts.
My mother was also into plenty of woo-woo stuff like paranormal magazines, ancient astronaut theories, etc. - which I have read too. Not sure what type she is, could be ENFP or ENTJ.
When it comes to my father. I think he's some kind of a NFJ. It turned out he was cheating on my mother when she was pregnant. So, naturally my mother broke up with him. He has married another woman and had 4 children with her and also was sleeping around.
He was trying to starve me by dodging child support until I was about 12. He was a typical charismatic type. I think it made me dislike and suppress Fe charisma on some level. He was pretty much an anti-role model for me.
Because of him I was very poor during childhood and it was super stressful.
I hope youre doing well. Remember to eat good too~
Me too very hard childhood , esfp father, isfj mother.
My dad is ENTP he saw me deeply.
He was an alcoholic that was not able to provide a physically safe environment but gave more than enough emotionally.
I’d say I was well balanced until losing him as an adult.
Forgiveness and acceptance was definitely a part of this.
Both of my parents were actually pretty chill and amazing (ISTP and INTP) the problem lies with my older half brother (ENTP) who was extremely toxic and narcissistic, towards me mainly.
Parents tried their best with him but he was a lost cause and then it was me and my younger siblings who they had greater success with parenting (I was the least problematic).
Mainly it was the adults outside my family that had issues with me though and didn't like who I was.
Isn't it interesting how most of us have an ENTP in our childhood at some point, and then an ISP? I too have ENTP father, who i understand so much, we're like best friends, and then there's my ISxP mother, who i constantly "run away from".
Also, yeah, fantasies...
My mother is estj and dad isfp, very hard chilhood.