I lived with BPD and just wanted to say Dr. Fox videos and resources were super helpful to me. Also, DBT skills are essential to rewire your brain for a healthy life. You have to challenge your thoughts ❤and learn to love yourself. I found so much power and healing in my identity by understanding who I am in Christ Jesus. Seeing myself the way my creator sees and loves me has been extremely transformative. Christ can heal any wound. Praying for all those who struggle with this issue or who cares for one who has BPD. Recovery is possible. ❤
Thank you for validating the very real effects of emotional absence and inconsistency, because I always felt confused growing up in my family who appear perfectly normal and functioning. While I'm so grateful for having all my physical needs met and never went hungry, at the same time when my sister commented a few years ago that she felt like she's been alone her whole life, I knew exactly what she meant. My parents never had their emotional needs met either, so it makes sense they went into parenthood blind, but it's amazing to me how powerful and necessary these needs really are at the end of the day, they follow you for a lifetime.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's important to recognize how emotional needs shape our experiences and relationships. You're not alone in feeling this way, and it's brave of you to express it.
This is GOLDEN 💕 thank you. I completely agree my family are very inconsistent & so I do not trust men at all. I am not afraid they leave bc ive learned to self love, self soothe but I am always hyper vigilant waiting for the shoe to drop. I stay away from dating altogether now.
I just lost my favorite person my boyfriend. This hurts so bad and I believe the reason we had to break up is because of my emotional instability from BPD.
Hey Heather, breakups are really painful, especially if you have BPD. I’m sorry you’re going through this just now and I understand where you’re coming from. I’m always worrying I’m pushing my partner away because I’m emotionally unstable 😭 Are you in therapy? I’ve just started EMDR and hopefully it can help for this, to process trauma and get past stuff. I’m doing a mindfulness course as well to help with my emotions. Maybe that could help you? It’s supposed to be good for that. Please take care of yourself ❤
This video seems to be more about what to do if your partner/child has abandonment issues; do you have any videos about how to heal from your own abandonment issues? Thanks!
Therapy from a phd psychologist not a psychiatrist or therapist get someone with a phd and don't settle with the first one that you get, it's not onesize fits all. If one doesn't fit you, keep looking. You need someone with experience, and knowledge.
Yes, please do a video on relationship testing!! I do this so bad. I think us people with Fearful Avoidant attachment subconsciously feel we have to do this. I don't know any other way to operate when I don't trust anyone to begin with.
I agree and don't forget your therapist, psychiatrist or own mother could do the same. Lucky for me my mom has never left me behind like everyone else.
Hi Dr Fox could you please do a video as you suggested on testing people and why people with BPD do it ultimately until it ends the relationship completely and therefore maybe it proves your BPD that people will leave and that maybe no one will defend or fight for you? thanks
the idea that someone told you to “be alone” maybe. It’s unsolicited advice. It’s like saying “excuse why are you ruining my day? Or why are you bringing this to me? “
Wow! We're were you 37 years ago? And how do I send this to my mother that I've gone no contact to for 3 years now? I know you can't turn back time but if she could here this now, she'd realize the content in this video is exactly what she needed to hear than and now.
My therapist has hurt me to the point of not wanting to use the mental health "professionals" at my clinic. If I didn't have the support of my mom and sister to get me through this ruptured relationship (she cut me off) with my therapist; I feel like I would have found a way to make her acknowledge me. I saw her for a year and a half, I am so sick from her cold and calloused way of treating me after so long.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience with your therapist. It sounds incredibly tough, and it's great that you have your mom and sister to support you through this. Remember, it’s okay to seek help elsewhere; finding the right fit is important.
@DrDanielFox Thanks for the kind words, but my parents abused me in different ways, one physical, the other emotional plus the drugs addiction both had they were too busy fighting about something stupid and toddler me ate the paint off the door out of stress with has affected me all my life but I should deal with it right
⚠️ Urgent Dear Daniel, I have got married with my bpd wife in December 2023. After almost 1 year, for some mistake, she is splitted from me as saying, She doens't love me anymore. She tried. But failed to love me. She wants devorce. I apologise many way. But her word is fixed. Fortunately her parents are with me. They started her DBT. But my question, after dbt session, can she even remember me?? At present, she don't care our good times, good moments. Even she is saying, the marriage is a mistake from her. Even she was crying for marriage before Marriage. I am muslim, from Bangladesh. What should I do? I want to be with my wife. But she has 0% interest. Few days ago, she loved a lot. Is there any way to be idealized again? or how many days it will take for dbt? Can she be cure? Again be mine?
My therapist has abandoned me in the last couple of weeks. I filed a grievance but finding it very hard to move on from someone that really supported me. I don't even get to understand why she's abandoned me. I did have feelings for her outside of therapy because I admired her intellect, wisdom and beauty. She's only 7 years older than me, she really understood me and I must have said or did something that upset her. I've been contacted by the grievance administration since I filed a grievance. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow but I feel like I'm never going to get an answer or help that I need. She's caused more damage than she realizes. Or maybe she does realize and she's angry with me. I need some help.
Dude. You're awesome. I see others changing their tune. I think you started the optimism trend. Much needed. The most treatable disorder. Hands down.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
I lived with BPD and just wanted to say Dr. Fox videos and resources were super helpful to me. Also, DBT skills are essential to rewire your brain for a healthy life. You have to challenge your thoughts ❤and learn to love yourself. I found so much power and healing in my identity by understanding who I am in Christ Jesus. Seeing myself the way my creator sees and loves me has been extremely transformative. Christ can heal any wound. Praying for all those who struggle with this issue or who cares for one who has BPD. Recovery is possible. ❤
Thank you for the kind words. Be well.
Borderline and other character issues have been so educated and understood thru Dr. Daniel Fox.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's wonderful to see that my work is making a positive impact on people's understanding of these complex issues.
Thank you for validating the very real effects of emotional absence and inconsistency, because I always felt confused growing up in my family who appear perfectly normal and functioning. While I'm so grateful for having all my physical needs met and never went hungry, at the same time when my sister commented a few years ago that she felt like she's been alone her whole life, I knew exactly what she meant. My parents never had their emotional needs met either, so it makes sense they went into parenthood blind, but it's amazing to me how powerful and necessary these needs really are at the end of the day, they follow you for a lifetime.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's important to recognize how emotional needs shape our experiences and relationships. You're not alone in feeling this way, and it's brave of you to express it.
So many of these are true for my own childhood. Thank you for this and your other amazing videos
Thank you so much dr.Fox! You helped me a lot to better understand my BPD! Love from Croatia ❤
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Very helpful in sorting out how abandonment can occur when the parent(s) are there.
I'm glad you found it helpful! Understanding the complexities of abandonment is so important, and I'm happy to shed some light on it.
Thanx Dr Fox bless you
This is GOLDEN 💕 thank you. I completely agree my family are very inconsistent & so I do not trust men at all. I am not afraid they leave bc ive learned to self love, self soothe but I am always hyper vigilant waiting for the shoe to drop. I stay away from dating altogether now.
I just lost my favorite person my boyfriend. This hurts so bad and I believe the reason we had to break up is because of my emotional instability from BPD.
Hey Heather, breakups are really painful, especially if you have BPD. I’m sorry you’re going through this just now and I understand where you’re coming from. I’m always worrying I’m pushing my partner away because I’m emotionally unstable 😭 Are you in therapy? I’ve just started EMDR and hopefully it can help for this, to process trauma and get past stuff. I’m doing a mindfulness course as well to help with my emotions. Maybe that could help you? It’s supposed to be good for that. Please take care of yourself ❤
🎉
O no I hope u r okay
I've had this happen too. It's difficult to find an emotionally intelligent supportive person.
@@fiona_blossoms1170 thank you for your suggestions! I am in therapy and going to start some DBT therapy soon. And it is so painful right now!
This video seems to be more about what to do if your partner/child has abandonment issues; do you have any videos about how to heal from your own abandonment issues? Thanks!
Therapy from a phd psychologist not a psychiatrist or therapist get someone with a phd and don't settle with the first one that you get, it's not onesize fits all. If one doesn't fit you, keep looking. You need someone with experience, and knowledge.
Yes, please do a video on relationship testing!! I do this so bad. I think us people with Fearful Avoidant attachment subconsciously feel we have to do this. I don't know any other way to operate when I don't trust anyone to begin with.
You are truly a God send
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
Hello, I have a question for you. Can a person have abandonment issues without having BPD? If so, what are they? Thank you
What really causes my abandonment issues is actual people actually abandoning me. End of story.
Can relate in the past 😢
I agree and don't forget your therapist, psychiatrist or own mother could do the same. Lucky for me my mom has never left me behind like everyone else.
💯
Hi Dr Fox could you please do a video as you suggested on testing people and why people with BPD do it ultimately until it ends the relationship completely and therefore maybe it proves your BPD that people will leave and that maybe no one will defend or fight for you? thanks
the idea that someone told you to “be alone” maybe. It’s unsolicited advice. It’s like saying “excuse why are you ruining my day? Or why are you bringing this to me? “
Wow! We're were you 37 years ago?
And how do I send this to my mother that I've gone no contact to for 3 years now?
I know you can't turn back time but if she could here this now, she'd realize the content in this video is exactly what she needed to hear than and now.
How can i help my kids to heal or restore after divorce?
Wow just wow
i wish you were my therapist
What if you have one parent present but the other one not emotionally available
My therapist has hurt me to the point of not wanting to use the mental health "professionals" at my clinic. If I didn't have the support of my mom and sister to get me through this ruptured relationship (she cut me off) with my therapist; I feel like I would have found a way to make her acknowledge me. I saw her for a year and a half, I am so sick from her cold and calloused way of treating me after so long.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience with your therapist. It sounds incredibly tough, and it's great that you have your mom and sister to support you through this. Remember, it’s okay to seek help elsewhere; finding the right fit is important.
Hate my parents im here because of them,who'd knew that ripping a person from the void was bad 😂
It sounds like you're going through a tough time. Remember that communication can help improve relationships.
@DrDanielFox Thanks for the kind words, but my parents abused me in different ways, one physical, the other emotional plus the drugs addiction both had they were too busy fighting about something stupid and toddler me ate the paint off the door out of stress with has affected me all my life but I should deal with it right
Could these work with narcissists? Just curious.
Simple answer, no. Narcissistic people have no empathy and will not show up for you.
⚠️ Urgent
Dear Daniel,
I have got married with my bpd wife in December 2023. After almost 1 year, for some mistake, she is splitted from me as saying, She doens't love me anymore. She tried. But failed to love me. She wants devorce. I apologise many way. But her word is fixed. Fortunately her parents are with me. They started her DBT. But my question, after dbt session, can she even remember me?? At present, she don't care our good times, good moments.
Even she is saying, the marriage is a mistake from her. Even she was crying for marriage before Marriage.
I am muslim, from Bangladesh.
What should I do? I want to be with my wife. But she has 0% interest. Few days ago, she loved a lot. Is there any way to be idealized again?
or how many days it will take for dbt? Can she be cure? Again be mine?
The demonic attacks of the demonic parents friends nighbours.......wounds for the soul.
My therapist has abandoned me in the last couple of weeks. I filed a grievance but finding it very hard to move on from someone that really supported me. I don't even get to understand why she's abandoned me. I did have feelings for her outside of therapy because I admired her intellect, wisdom and beauty. She's only 7 years older than me, she really understood me and I must have said or did something that upset her. I've been contacted by the grievance administration since I filed a grievance. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow but I feel like I'm never going to get an answer or help that I need. She's caused more damage than she realizes. Or maybe she does realize and she's angry with me. I need some help.