The only way I was able to get out of this toxic controlling narcissistic lustful relationship was when I got closer to God. He revealed the truth to me and lifted the scales out of my eyes 👀.
What's sad is that he was never "Checked In" or Sincere with me from the beginning. From the very start, he was lying, hiding, and cheating. He was already discarding me when he first met me because he is empty, empty, empty...
When he was starting to check out, i noticed he would leave the house early and come home late, watch tv, eat, and fall asleep on the recliner. Whereas before, he would come home during daylight hours, we would eat dinner together, laugh , talk, and go to bed together. He became disrespectful in his words towards me, no attention or affection. Sex turned robotic and disgusting. When I'd ask what was wrong, he'd say nothing or it turned to an argument. It was so maddening, but im out of it now.
@Shelia Smith to be honest it almost did because i didn't know what was happening, but I left December 2021 and have been on my daughter's couch since then. I'm slowly rebuilding though.
That’s exactly my story too ! You really see them for who they are - they are empty people with nothing to offer you except material things in the beginning . Together for 23 years - the last two trying to understand why he checked out - he actually told me it was because I stopped paying half of the bills and mortgage ( he was always broke and wouldn’t tell me where his money was going - probably on other women ) when I finally woke up and realised things were not going to change I walked out ! Hardest thing I have ever done but 14 months later I am the happiest I have ever been in my life . We met to discuss the the assets soon after and boy did he collapse ! That’s when I saw the real him , weak and broken . That woke me up even more ! How damaged was I to let someone like that control my emotions ? I had Counciling as none of my family would believe me as they think he is such a great guy 😩😩😩 You have to do it on your own and boy does it make you stronger than you,ve ever been . He still tries to play on my emotions but it doesn’t work no more , he won’t leave or put the house on the market so next stage is court I imagine ? I can’t wait for it to be finalised and put him out of my mind for good !
I know that one about the sex turning Robotic it had gone from Intimate unto robotic until she had climaxed not even facing me anymore I caught her raising her eyes to the ceiling, I know how that may sound bcos She Said That was the reason her eyes rolled upwards. I’m sure you know what I mean,but that was a lie I knew because it was very different as if it was a favour,the act of warmth was Gone and IF You dare to Mention it, it was (as You Well know) opening a door to the good old “We’re having such a wonderful time And Then YOU Decided to just Ruin It by starting a Fight Again Why Do You Always Have to Do That & Then just Say something like ‘If We Don’t Talk Now Then We’ll Never talk about…’ like nothing ever happened!! An now my day’s ruined when I was just trying to do my best to enjoy ourselves in togetherness,Why would you do that!!!!”🤦🏻♂️💭🙄💭🤕😯😦 And Make Sure You Don’t Forget Just How Much Aggravated the whole situation & atmosphere So as You Don’t bring up the relevant issues. 🤦🏻♂️💭🤷🏻♂️💭🤯
This literally almost ruined me until I called on God! He is the ONLY way I made it out. He wanted a fantasy and I couldn’t fit into his fantasy anymore because I figured him out
Me too!😅😅❤ I will always be grateful to the narc, not that I'd ever let them know that! But I had to find God. I truly know Jesus now- because I had to after the damage they'd done.
The fault of the Narcissist, the pain of the Empath. It's not easy to get your life back. It takes a lot. It's unfortunate when you start to believe that more often than not, the entire time..... you were just being someone's toy!! Terrible!!😓😢
Hurts so bad to love someone who acts like a different person then who they showed me in the beginning. Hurts to see they act like they just simply don’t care when all you do is give them love & care
The health habits YES . Another flaming red flag I MISSED on him . Looking back I truly shake my head . The rats nest hair , the gross breath , the dirty clothes , the eating straight up garbage & drinking coffee all day , the non stop weed smoking , the not sleeping & over working … 😑
Spot on! I told him he checked out emotionally before he walked out. He really did me a favor. I could never do the things he did. I turned him over to God and I'm finding my own happiness and buying my own flowers!💐💐💐💐💐
Damn…my ex husband did exactly this! He was addicted to pictures of Instagram models, locked himself in the den or the bathroom and stalk folks all day when he was off. If I walked into a room that he was in, he would explode in anger
*And if the picture next to your name is you, you're an attractive woman. Makes no difference though 'cause Narcs are NEVER satisfied! I'm a beautiful, mature, and sophisticated woman. Does he care? Nope! So, I released him back to The Streets so he can continue to wallow in what he likes -- Guttersnipes!*
Everything you said here is so true! No more hand holding, turned his back to me in bed, walked ahead of me etc. And his hygiene was horrible - showered every 3-4 days, rarely brushed his teeth - so disgusting! Drug & alcohol abuse was constant! Thank you for being open & honest about your disorder! Much appreciated!
My ex hated to clean his teeth I often told him brush your teeth . He didn't even wanna go to get his teeth deep cleaned at dentist but u would spend 300 on sunglasses make it make sense as he would say...😢 glad I had strength to finally get him away from me..n change my # he was rude as time went on and wanted me to depend on him but was nothing to depend on💯🤡
Leon everything you said my ex did. I forgave him but will never allow him in my life again. We had a good life but he was the anchor that kept us going through issues. 33 years and 3 years no contact. Thank God the day I left him after our youngest child got her degree from college. I left with a Wawa bag of clothes and moved out of state. ❤ 2 promotions and making money moves. Fuk the Narcissist
He was very quiet but soon discovered that he misjudged me big time. He found out I never had addictions, I despise pornography, I had lived at all times unlike most. Couldn't get me to "drink", ect. Maybe once he saw what I really was all about, he couldn't take the knowledge of just how dark his choices really were. He got me at a vulnerable moment in my life. I gave it my all. And, I left. He chose. I do not want an apology. It would also be a lie. Besides he never did. It was all me you know. Then, "all people have faults". I had to restrain my laughter and considered that it would be ridiculous to list and did not "go there".
My husband would say that's your personal problem. Whenever I called him on something. Bc he doesn't want to change. I pray that he gets help one day. Bc he has destroyed destroyed many lives. Divorce is almost over
You just described my x to a T. He's the same as you were! He has addictions, nothing is ever his fault, always my fault! He left me after 31 years for a younger woman who got 4 small kids, lives with her mother who has custody of the kids cuz she was loaded drunk and driving with the small kids in the car and they put her in jail cuz she was already on probation! And he called me a dead end! I was the bread winner and he didn't have to do nothing! Thank you for sharing this Leon, keep on the healing path and keep on helping others ok
Just spent 2 years of my life being told I was clingy because I wanted love from the person who claimed to adore me in the beginning. Ended badly and now they are trying to make me feel like I was the one who was in the wrong. Sad, I just wanted to love them.
The subtleties… if you’re not paying close attention you’ll miss it ! They also ALWAYS come back . I was ready this time though … so proud of my inner growth !
I'm not sure if you realize just how much your helping to give closure or at least acceptance to so many. Thank you. It feels like the pain will never go away..some days are better than others. One day at a time. It really just helps to here from the other side it's like you know all these things but to actually hear the accountability no words can describe. Very admirable sir. And I'm proud of you Leon if Noone's told you.
Yep, that's it. I see it clearly now I was the good woman who wanted the best for my ex and still do, but as for me and him, no more ABSOLUTELY NOT! Thank you, Leon, for this truth that is giving me the strength to stay away and want better and more for myself.
I don’t know what he’s addicted to specifically, I just know it’s on his phone. He was that guy everyone joked about on Facebook in everyone’s inbox with inappropriate conversation, I found out after the discard. I’m sure he’s addicted to lying, cheating, thinking everyone is stupid, plotting and scheming, and control. I wish he would’ve left for three days.
I work with one. Man I could not believe all the trouble he has started. He had a side chick thinking i was her competition and I was not even in a relationship with him I just work with him. . I was shocked all that stuff he had going on behind my back and steadily turning the supervisor against me. He was so friendly and respectful. I did start see some things like coldness out nowhere, but I ignored it. He really acts like he has something against me when his true self came out. He had her thinking I was chasing him and he dropped me for her. Then they both started the smear campaign on me when it came out trying to get me fired. God showed up and she no longer working, but his still there. These videos help me see he my be jealous about something I am not unaware like he told me one day you just want to be single to do whatever you want to do. He stated his girl trapped him with a baby he didn't want. I was thinking what a nerve he still doing what he want to do because I knew had a side chick just had no idea she was working there.
That's good! Stick with the pockets of pain. It's time to know pain isn't something we supposed to run from. Pain is an indicator that something's wrong and needs light and fresh air and heal. Baby, you got this!!
@@leonrwalkerjr No need to apologize....triggers are gonna happen....it just hurts to really feel the truth.....Keep on sharing....you're a good man.....
It DOES hurt, a great deal; especially when you truly love/loved that person. To know or learn that their level of “love” and care didn’t match yours or that some of it was fake…. Well, it hurts like hell! But, we are still alive, breathing, living, striving! Be mindful and thankful for the little things each day. I pray that you continue to learn, grow, heal, thrive and love yourself better than anyone else can love you! And always remember and never forget, TMH G-d loves you THEE MOST❣️🙏🏾
Wow thank you so much for this. This Sooooo exactly explains what he went to and cheated on me with. Of course there were more I didn’t know about I’m sure, but she was so trashy and a bar fly….I felt so very so confused. He several times said he hated how my children had love and he never did. He was an alcohol and porn addict. He would never make an attempt to be kind and warm and loving to my 9 year old boy at the time…when I knew he was fully capable of it because of course “he was to me”(love bomb memories of course) He hated my son…Totally despised him. He was fine “ish” with my little 3 year old little girl because he could use her as easy supply and manipulate her easily of course, but my son from the time he met the narc at 8 years old, told me, “mom he has crazy eyes.” At the time I gaslighted my own son …saying “give him time honey” Thank you Leon. These reminders and clarity help so much. 5 months no contact and he called two weeks ago for the first time since the discard. (He’s blocked but but my phone still shows the numbers trying to get through). It was like a boulder hit me and threw me for a loop for a week. I thought I was stronger but man am I SOOOO glad he was blocked. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….Thank you Leon for your transparency. 🙏❤️💕
Ive been in a relationship with this as a cycle for 9 years. He is my neighbor. We raised my son together. His ex is an older woman, had daughter my age. Hates me with a passion. Loves to povoke when seen Small town, always eager and available, always provoking. Shes onto his narcissism after the fact and using it against him, and also me. Its working bc i am outspoken i will call you out relentlessly. Haha and i am getting creamed right now. I took the time to observe and not absorb what was going on and filled in the blanks. My intuition is way sensitive as i was raised by a malignant covert suave narc and witness to my ex boyfriends suicide, meant for me. Hes serving up the punishment for the results of my observation. I discarded him. I always do when I feel it coning . Im a threat and he is in a state of psychosis right now, almost 3 months. BUT HE IS MY NEIGHBOR, FARMLAND, DEAD END ROAD. Have to pass his place to get to mine. Relocating not an option. Amazing to watch but like a jackhammer to my nervous system. Never been to this stage of whatever he has to accomplish. I am making it terribly hard for him. The ex is too. Poor guy. I have no idea what to expect. She has really raped his mind and he has mine. Hers is revenge NO DOUBT, his is bc hes got an issue hes managed very well in such tight vicinity. Amazing. Its truly sad bc we use to have a life together. I bruised his ego and man, his skin is super thin fir such a manly looking being. Incredible how mean they can be at such the slightest insult or percieved criticism. Excuse to abuse is really what that is.
Its hard to listen this triggers me. Inkearned the narcissist tactic to the point i spot it immediately in any person. This made me think about when i noticed something was up. Ppl dont realize how their actions do affect others. Ladies and gents run fast if you are with one. These ppl kill you in your mind, spirit, or physically. Go and heal baby cuz let me tell when you begin the healing process you will be appauled at yourself and the person. I need to get back on this platform. Im on tiktok more. Not easy to share but its helpful to healing.
@@leonrwalkerjr its not you . The truth hurts. Accepting it is another thing. Took me a long time to swallow that pill. Empathic ppl enable the narcissist by a default. Especially the one that is not healed.
Thank you , I always thought if I just read the right book, did the right thing he wouldnt hurt me.Thank you for relieving me of those blaming thoughts .
#1 you start wondering/worrying/questioning why they are doing x,y,z or not doing x,y,z. unfortunately for me i only saw this as the end of the beginning phase and into the “normal” operating phase of the relationship. i didn’t see the enrage and abuse as a problem. i knew it was a struggle for them. so i stayed bc u, in my mind, shouldn’t leave at this time. how cruel would that be. big mistake. that was assuming that they were a typical person.
@leon like at what point a narc say I wanna change I need help before truly ruining good women’s lives ,??? This angers me ..!you making innocent women pay for what has happened to u..!
You explained everything I observed and feared was the case in the narc relationships I had. Refreshing to actually hear it from someone who did it and not deny it anymore
I was the good woman. He was cold hearted with me in the end and also left me for a bad woman. What hurt me is when I found out he wa la talking about me with the other woman. He never never opened up with me like that .
Every now n then I click on you and everytime I am richly rewarded!! You just have a knack for saying how it is, from your side, that I really relate to. Everytime, something I suspected becomes confirmed or something I was assume ng I knew gers clarifued and I'm set back, tell myself, be called nfident, but keep LISTENING. Iwill never kuw it all. Thx Leon❤
For what it's worth, I'm the one he technically "cheated" with after telling me they were at the end of their marriage because she'd emotionally abused him for years. I actually am educated, respected in the community, completely drug and alcohol free and from a Christian upbringing. I did smoke when we got together but he actually helped get me on the right vape to quit after 30 years of smoking. I got him into AA after years of drinking. He knows I'm respected so I'm not sure they always choose someone "beneath" them. He told me the reason he thought we get along so well is because we're both interested in the same things, similar upbringing & political views, both business owners, both artists, both had the same passion for the same hobby, both had similar personalities (outgoing, well respected, etc.) both wanted to relocate to Florida, both hated Winter, same love for our parents and family values etc. (He actually put his parents on a pedestal which I'm still trying to understand.) Little did I know he was about to collapse my world within 2 years.
Just by reading your story I can already see what a monstrous gaslighting you have been subjected to. "Below" them is an expression that sometimes means that for narcissists everyone is "below" them, simply because they are narcissistic! Even if you have ten diplomas and you are a prime minister and he is a cleaner, you will still be "below them" in their head. You still have a long way to go, I feel that there is still a lot of information to process. I wish you success!
How much did that Christian upbringing stick with you such that you got involved with a married man? 🤔 He didn’t “technically” cheat, he just cheated. He committed adultery and he got you, the one with the “Christian upbringing,” to help him do it with his sob story. Girl, you were dead in the water before the ship even sank.
It's nice to hear a man showing respect for the good women in his life. Hey Leon when are you and Lee going to do another session together? After listening to both of you I often wondered if you too spoke to each other. What is the name of your book?
When I first met my narc he met me 2 min and vomited 🤮 his life on me .. he wanted to see my level of compassion ..! Then he can work out how to abuse me .. and his wife was insisting I sit next to him at that dinner that’s where I met my narc in a group setting wich I found extremely odd ..! Only to find out they were Both in it ..! Such a SAD EGSISTENCE..!
Thank you for your raw honesty. I have witnessed the things you say in a friendship -- good friend, mentally compatible, great conversations, nice, going to cold and it was off-putting after the first months were better. When I glance back at that friendship wondering, I watch one of your raw honesty videos of how you were prior to becoming self aware and I snap out of it and move forward. Our lifestyles, my friend and I are different but we still enjoyed each other's company, but on a deeper level we are way different/opposites. He may not suffer if he keeps me around, but I would if I stay around. I admire you for digging through all the challenges you witness.... in your behaviors to fully understand what makes you tick. You have come a long ways which is amazing. Your sharing and radical truth helps me for sure. I seem to attract NPD. Think I am savvy and years later boom, another. In between narcissists on some level. I am older so did not know what was the matter. In the last few years more knowledge on the subject is out. You never consented to the early childhood abuse but are studying how to overcome and heal some ways that hurt you over and over. Makes sense. Take the remote away from the enemy of our souls. I was thinking we learn how to handle anger from our parents. My Mom communicated and taught self control via spanking. My Dad was long suffering but would blow up once a year after having had enough or being pushed too far. I have both their ways. SMH They say anger is one emotion easy for men because it is warrior, protector, a masculine emotion. Watch Viking movies where they start yelling before going into battle. Then was told drill down one by one the emotions under anger and get to the root of it. I was silly maybe experimenting with this in that I got online and got lists of feelings/emotions to see what I felt under anger to drill down to find the root cause. It helped, like what is really bothering me. I had a lot of pain in many bad situations as an adult. Prayer and the Holy S, Father G, and Jesus did a major unravel on me. Yet I still attracted another NPD. You and your radical raw honesty, blatant truth have helped me see the light of who I am, fairly and honestly, what do I need. We are each human -- unique working thru things, flaws, imperfections on ourselves to know what needs improved, changed, delivered off us... to be a better self, feel capable and have peace. We are not less than. A former Prostitute in church went thru therapy and said: it is like a stack of manure/shit in the middle of the road. You can go down in the ditch around it. You can find a way to fly or get over it. Or, plough right through it and get it cleaned up off your path on the road and move forward. Seeking therapy is not a weakness I see now. They see things and ways to help we don't. Easier said than done the former Prostiitute said but the rewards of getting who you were born to be and your life back are a huge reward and her life got so much happier, peaceful, heartfelt fulfilling. People overcoming horrific childhoods are like champion gladiators who were forced in the fight for their life, reality, out of denial. I can't fully understand another's battle, but on fighting my own battles or haunts of the past I can understand somewhat -- hang in there. Ignore the critics. Denial is a bitch that is going down. The critics are still in denial, ha! But we don't quit seeking wellness and some happiness, true friendships, maybe a healthy relationship, and managing our emotions and thoughts, self care, self awareness. God bless you real good Leon!
Keep up the Good Work on Yourself Brother, Being Honest and sharing can maybe help someone else but most Importantly when you expose those deep things and confess truthfully this information, it takes away the Power it has in the Dark. It takes Courage to face our REAL selves and that's more than most people can do! I am Praying for you!
You are amazing. You are not playing with this thibg you are giving it straight no chase. You genuinely want to help us. Thanks for the sacrifice to help us heal
My Energy is strong, but... I had the wool pulled over My eyes big time!!, but as a Christian, I was able to test the spirit of that entity, aka' "th narc" & the deceit was overwhelming, soon as I put it, completely in the hands of God,,, the entity reluctantly departed🎉 even pop ups & phone calls have stopped, & if it does show back up, I will ask,,,, do I know you???😮
The individual I Ended it wit Never Stops his interest mines jus called himself thinking he cud control me more & more that it becomes obsessive - behaviors became obsessive
Yep went through the staring at the floor. Turns out his sister lied to him and told him I cheated. Not that he ever talked to me about it; just dropped a car on me instead. I can't get medical care. His sister throws all the parties for the doctors in this area. They chose to judge me as well with all her lies. Raped under anesthesia in 2020. They thought I was sleeping when him and his sister were talking on the phone. He was working on a carborator so he had it on speaker. It was a very disgusting conversation. After what was arranged she will never go back to the doctors again. He knew when they arranged it I had two tumors the size of almonds growing inside me. Found after he dropped the car on me. That didn't kill me so we need another plan. 4 years later I'm still alive and the only help I got was God.
This sounds right my ex had a side chick actually a whole wife( I didn’t know) and they used to talk about me (his fiancé of 9 years)together they bitched about me for no reason and sometimes in my face.no empathy .they enjoyed torturing me and everything was negative even about how I raise our kids I believe she was jelous of me in reality because i became strong and left and lived better own house car money and my 4 kids
@@ak-47intelligence75 I don't feel he thinks he was special. I think he was pointing at the fact that HE was the problem and not him. There were good women in his life and he blew it
@Leon R Walker Jr just getting ready for court next week. Court is like my second home since I divorced my covert narcissist ex wife. She manipulated the whole court system and made me look like the bad guy and used my reactive abuse to take my precious kids away from my life. I'm trying to get them back but it's been hard.
He's saying that most Narcs who are addicted may choose others who are also addicted so they don't expect them to clean up if they're doing the same. I've never heard of someone who started smoking cigarettes because they were in a relationship with a Narc. One would think maybe they used to have a habit and picked it up again while with the person, but I can see with Narcissistic control how easy it could be for someone to start drinking or abusing things like pills in order to cope.
I wish people like you would stop this bullshit everybody ain’t perfect but at least he realized he needed helped and fixed his problems and now is helping other people so they won’t have to deal with someone like him just stfu
Maria I don’t think he is asking us to feel sorry for him. He is just trying to educate us all. This is very insightful and I’m happy he is getting help he has apologized to those he hurt and he continues to evolve and heal. You are speaking from a hurt heart and wounded spirit. Pain can make you become that. I pray for your healing and understanding as well.
The only way I was able to get out of this toxic controlling narcissistic lustful relationship was when I got closer to God. He revealed the truth to me and lifted the scales out of my eyes 👀.
Yes me too ❤
When I realized that he was something else.... I did a reverse narcology on him. BOOOM. I just disappeared without a word.
What's sad is that he was never "Checked In" or Sincere with me from the beginning. From the very start, he was lying, hiding, and cheating. He was already discarding me when he first met me because he is empty, empty, empty...
When he was starting to check out, i noticed he would leave the house early and come home late, watch tv, eat, and fall asleep on the recliner. Whereas before, he would come home during daylight hours, we would eat dinner together, laugh , talk, and go to bed together. He became disrespectful in his words towards me, no attention or affection. Sex turned robotic and disgusting. When I'd ask what was wrong, he'd say nothing or it turned to an argument. It was so maddening, but im out of it now.
I'm so glad you're out of it it could have destroyed you.
@Shelia Smith to be honest it almost did because i didn't know what was happening, but I left December 2021 and have been on my daughter's couch since then. I'm slowly rebuilding though.
@Toni43 😪
That’s exactly my story too ! You really see them for who they are - they are empty people with nothing to offer you except material things in the beginning . Together for 23 years - the last two trying to understand why he checked out - he actually told me it was because I stopped paying half of the bills and mortgage ( he was always broke and wouldn’t tell me where his money was going - probably on other women ) when I finally woke up and realised things were not going to change I walked out ! Hardest thing I have ever done but 14 months later I am the happiest I have ever been in my life . We met to discuss the the assets soon after and boy did he collapse ! That’s when I saw the real him , weak and broken . That woke me up even more ! How damaged was I to let someone like that control my emotions ? I had Counciling as none of my family would believe me as they think he is such a great guy 😩😩😩 You have to do it on your own and boy does it make you stronger than you,ve ever been . He still tries to play on my emotions but it doesn’t work no more , he won’t leave or put the house on the market so next stage is court I imagine ? I can’t wait for it to be finalised and put him out of my mind for good !
I know that one about the sex turning Robotic it had gone from Intimate unto robotic until she had climaxed not even facing me anymore I caught her raising her eyes to the ceiling, I know how that may sound bcos She Said That was the reason her eyes rolled upwards. I’m sure you know what I mean,but that was a lie I knew because it was very different as if it was a favour,the act of warmth was Gone and IF You dare to Mention it, it was (as You Well know) opening a door to the good old “We’re having such a wonderful time And Then YOU Decided to just Ruin It by starting a Fight Again Why Do You Always Have to Do That & Then just Say something like ‘If We Don’t Talk Now Then We’ll Never talk about…’ like nothing ever happened!! An now my day’s ruined when I was just trying to do my best to enjoy ourselves in togetherness,Why would you do that!!!!”🤦🏻♂️💭🙄💭🤕😯😦 And Make Sure You Don’t Forget Just How Much Aggravated the whole situation & atmosphere So as You Don’t bring up the relevant issues. 🤦🏻♂️💭🤷🏻♂️💭🤯
This literally almost ruined me until I called on God! He is the ONLY way I made it out. He wanted a fantasy and I couldn’t fit into his fantasy anymore because I figured him out
Once you figure them out you MUST go!! You did the right thing
Me too!😅😅❤
I will always be grateful to the narc, not that I'd ever let them know that! But I had to find God. I truly know Jesus now- because I had to after the damage they'd done.
💯💯
Beautiful post! 🙏
@@E.C.2 thank you
"They despise you." I couldn't understand it but one day this clicked and everything made sense.
Yes 🎉
1 thing I've always noticed is narcissistic psychopathic Souls are NEVER EVER on your side,especially in public.
That is true
Facts!!!🎯
The fault of the Narcissist, the pain of the Empath.
It's not easy to get your life back. It takes a lot. It's unfortunate when you start to believe that more often than not, the entire time..... you were just being someone's toy!!
Terrible!!😓😢
I agree with you. Your pain for sure, sadly. I was the cause of it for years
Hurts so bad to love someone who acts like a different person then who they showed me in the beginning. Hurts to see they act like they just simply don’t care when all you do is give them love & care
The health habits YES . Another flaming red flag I MISSED on him . Looking back I truly shake my head . The rats nest hair , the gross breath , the dirty clothes , the eating straight up garbage & drinking coffee all day , the non stop weed smoking , the not sleeping & over working … 😑
Omg ! Did we date the same man .. also I’m pretty sure he was also on the DL ..
Spot on! I told him he checked out emotionally before he walked out. He really did me a favor. I could never do the things he did. I turned him over to God and I'm finding my own happiness and buying my own flowers!💐💐💐💐💐
Damn…my ex husband did exactly this! He was addicted to pictures of Instagram models, locked himself in the den or the bathroom and stalk folks all day when he was off. If I walked into a room that he was in, he would explode in anger
*And if the picture next to your name is you, you're an attractive woman. Makes no difference though 'cause Narcs are NEVER satisfied! I'm a beautiful, mature, and sophisticated woman. Does he care? Nope! So, I released him back to The Streets so he can continue to wallow in what he likes -- Guttersnipes!*
@@dollyscott-payne7488 yeah, they don’t care…at all!
Leon can you please made a video on why they talk so bad about you to everyone even when they discard you.
Everything you said here is so true! No more hand holding, turned his back to me in bed, walked ahead of me etc. And his hygiene was horrible - showered every 3-4 days, rarely brushed his teeth - so disgusting! Drug & alcohol abuse was constant! Thank you for being open & honest about your disorder! Much appreciated!
Sounds like my experience. Thank God I got out before extension damages was done.
Wowwwwww same here 😮
My ex hated to clean his teeth I often told him brush your teeth . He didn't even wanna go to get his teeth deep cleaned at dentist but u would spend 300 on sunglasses make it make sense as he would say...😢 glad I had strength to finally get him away from me..n change my # he was rude as time went on and wanted me to depend on him but was nothing to depend on💯🤡
AMEN...ONLY GOD CAN BREAK THAT RELATIONSHIP❤❤❤TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY❤❤❤❤❤
Leon everything you said my ex did. I forgave him but will never allow him in my life again. We had a good life but he was the anchor that kept us going through issues. 33 years and 3 years no contact. Thank God the day I left him after our youngest child got her degree from college. I left with a Wawa bag of clothes and moved out of state. ❤ 2 promotions and making money moves. Fuk the Narcissist
He was very quiet but soon discovered that he misjudged me big time. He found out I never had addictions, I despise pornography, I had lived at all times unlike most. Couldn't get me to "drink", ect. Maybe once he saw what I really was all about, he couldn't take the knowledge of just how dark his choices really were. He got me at a vulnerable moment in my life. I gave it my all. And, I left. He chose. I do not want an apology. It would also be a lie. Besides he never did. It was all me you know. Then, "all people have faults". I had to restrain my laughter and considered that it would be ridiculous to list and did not "go there".
They start packing their luggage and your cash and valuables start coming up missing
Facts!👏🏿
She used to say to me. It's like having another child. Wow....she was really bad towards the end. Brilliant video ❤
My husband would say that's your personal problem. Whenever I called him on something. Bc he doesn't want to change. I pray that he gets help one day. Bc he has destroyed destroyed many lives. Divorce is almost over
You just described my x to a T. He's the same as you were! He has addictions, nothing is ever his fault, always my fault! He left me after 31 years for a younger woman who got 4 small kids, lives with her mother who has custody of the kids cuz she was loaded drunk and driving with the small kids in the car and they put her in jail cuz she was already on probation! And he called me a dead end! I was the bread winner and he didn't have to do nothing! Thank you for sharing this Leon, keep on the healing path and keep on helping others ok
Whew. I kinda felt like he despised me and there was jealousy… Dang. Just wrong to harm me because of his own insecurities…
When I knew I did better. Thank Gawd.
Just spent 2 years of my life being told I was clingy because I wanted love from the person who claimed to adore me in the beginning. Ended badly and now they are trying to make me feel like I was the one who was in the wrong. Sad, I just wanted to love them.
Once you are aware, and you’re bless to get away from these type of people stay away!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
The subtleties… if you’re not paying close attention you’ll miss it !
They also ALWAYS come back . I was ready this time though … so proud of my inner growth !
I'm not sure if you realize just how much your helping to give closure or at least acceptance to so many. Thank you. It feels like the pain will never go away..some days are better than others. One day at a time. It really just helps to here from the other side it's like you know all these things but to actually hear the accountability no words can describe. Very admirable sir. And I'm proud of you Leon if Noone's told you.
❤You Better Teach!!!!!
Yep, that's it. I see it clearly now I was the good woman who wanted the best for my ex and still do, but as for me and him, no more ABSOLUTELY NOT! Thank you, Leon, for this truth that is giving me the strength to stay away and want better and more for myself.
Wow!!!! The accuracy!!!! Wow!!!! Amazing information Leon!
Thank you
I don’t know what he’s addicted to specifically, I just know it’s on his phone. He was that guy everyone joked about on Facebook in everyone’s inbox with inappropriate conversation, I found out after the discard. I’m sure he’s addicted to lying, cheating, thinking everyone is stupid, plotting and scheming, and control.
I wish he would’ve left for three days.
Don’t forget sex! He’s addicted to sex!
Thank you for sharing this information. Praying for everyone involved . GOD is able!
I work with one. Man I could not believe all the trouble he has started. He had a side chick thinking i was her competition and I was not even in a relationship with him I just work with him. . I was shocked all that stuff he had going on behind my back and steadily turning the supervisor against me.
He was so friendly and respectful. I did start see some things like coldness out nowhere, but I ignored it. He really acts like he has something against me when his true self came out. He had her thinking I was chasing him and he dropped me for her. Then they both started the smear campaign on me when it came out trying to get me fired. God showed up and she no longer working, but his still there. These videos help me see he my be jealous about something I am not unaware like he told me one day you just want to be single to do whatever you want to do. He stated his girl trapped him with a baby he didn't want. I was thinking what a nerve he still doing what he want to do because I knew had a side chick just had no idea she was working there.
I had to call it off with him because i knew already he was having sex with someone else
This hurts so much
It’s bad, and I don’t mean to be a trigger
That's good! Stick with the pockets of pain. It's time to know pain isn't something we supposed to run from. Pain is an indicator that something's wrong and needs light and fresh air and heal. Baby, you got this!!
@@leonrwalkerjr No need to apologize....triggers are gonna happen....it just hurts to really feel the truth.....Keep on sharing....you're a good man.....
@@sunnyadams5842 thank you 💜
It DOES hurt, a great deal; especially when you truly love/loved that person. To know or learn that their level of “love” and care didn’t match yours or that some of it was fake…. Well, it hurts like hell! But, we are still alive, breathing, living, striving! Be mindful and thankful for the little things each day. I pray that you continue to learn, grow, heal, thrive and love yourself better than anyone else can love you! And always remember and never forget, TMH G-d loves you THEE MOST❣️🙏🏾
You are Loui from interview with the vampire. A vampire with a human conscience. Self aware narcs, very special thank you.
Wow thank you so much for this. This Sooooo exactly explains what he went to and cheated on me with. Of course there were more I didn’t know about I’m sure, but she was so trashy and a bar fly….I felt so very so confused.
He several times said he hated how my children had love and he never did. He was an alcohol and porn addict. He would never make an attempt to be kind and warm and loving to my 9 year old boy at the time…when I knew he was fully capable of it because of course “he was to me”(love bomb memories of course) He hated
my son…Totally despised him. He was fine “ish” with my little 3 year old little girl because he could use her as easy supply and manipulate her easily of course, but my son from the time he met the narc at 8 years old, told me, “mom he has crazy eyes.”
At the time I gaslighted my own son …saying “give him time honey”
Thank you Leon. These reminders and clarity help so much. 5 months no contact and he called two weeks ago for the first time since the discard. (He’s blocked but but my phone still shows the numbers trying to get through). It was like a boulder hit me and threw me for a loop for a week. I thought I was stronger but man am I SOOOO glad he was blocked. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….Thank you Leon for your transparency. 🙏❤️💕
Ive been in a relationship with this as a cycle for 9 years. He is my neighbor. We raised my son together. His ex is an older woman, had daughter my age. Hates me with a passion. Loves to povoke when seen Small town, always eager and available, always provoking. Shes onto his narcissism after the fact and using it against him, and also me. Its working bc i am outspoken i will call you out relentlessly. Haha and i am getting creamed right now. I took the time to observe and not absorb what was going on and filled in the blanks. My intuition is way sensitive as i was raised by a malignant covert suave narc and witness to my ex boyfriends suicide, meant for me. Hes serving up the punishment for the results of my observation. I discarded him. I always do when I feel it coning . Im a threat and he is in a state of psychosis right now, almost 3 months. BUT HE IS MY NEIGHBOR, FARMLAND, DEAD END ROAD. Have to pass his place to get to mine. Relocating not an option. Amazing to watch but like a jackhammer to my nervous system. Never been to this stage of whatever he has to accomplish. I am making it terribly hard for him. The ex is too. Poor guy. I have no idea what to expect. She has really raped his mind and he has mine. Hers is revenge NO DOUBT, his is bc hes got an issue hes managed very well in such tight vicinity. Amazing. Its truly sad bc we use to have a life together. I bruised his ego and man, his skin is super thin fir such a manly looking being. Incredible how mean they can be at such the slightest insult or percieved criticism. Excuse to abuse is really what that is.
I hope the one I knew briefly checks out PERMANENTLY, the world would be a better place, PERIOD.......
Its hard to listen this triggers me. Inkearned the narcissist tactic to the point i spot it immediately in any person. This made me think about when i noticed something was up. Ppl dont realize how their actions do affect others. Ladies and gents run fast if you are with one. These ppl kill you in your mind, spirit, or physically. Go and heal baby cuz let me tell when you begin the healing process you will be appauled at yourself and the person. I need to get back on this platform. Im on tiktok more. Not easy to share but its helpful to healing.
I appreciate that. I never mean to trigger anyone but I know it happens. You’re right for sure about everything you’ve stated here too🙏🏾💯
@@leonrwalkerjr its not you . The truth hurts. Accepting it is another thing. Took me a long time to swallow that pill. Empathic ppl enable the narcissist by a default. Especially the one that is not healed.
@@leaderTheSoul ok. Yes, that’s all true too. I agree 👊🏾🙏🏾💯❤️
@@leonrwalkerjryes you are triggering to me as well but the truth hurts is all . The honesty is what matters .
@@Christinesobsevations thank you. I don’t want to be a trigger-been that for many, many years.
ON POINT, ON POINT AND ON POINT!!!!! Thank you Leon for sharing your heart with us!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
God always gets us his daughters out of that hell hole
Thank you , I always thought if I just read the right book, did the right thing he wouldnt hurt me.Thank you for relieving me of those blaming thoughts .
Thank you for honestly sharing and taking responsibility, not many do that these days… even in the little things.
Wowwww, I can relate to all of this! I saw it all play out just like you said! Thank you for confirmation!🙏🏽
You’re welcome. This was me, totally
Thank you for being honest about this … I wish I had seen this from the beginning but I had a lot of growing to do ❤
#1 you start wondering/worrying/questioning why they are doing x,y,z or not doing x,y,z. unfortunately for me i only saw this as the end of the beginning phase and into the “normal” operating phase of the relationship. i didn’t see the enrage and abuse as a problem. i knew it was a struggle for them. so i stayed bc u, in my mind, shouldn’t leave at this time. how cruel would that be. big mistake. that was assuming that they were a typical person.
@leon like at what point a narc say I wanna change I need help before truly ruining good women’s lives ,??? This angers me ..!you making innocent women pay for what has happened to u..!
You explained everything I observed and feared was the case in the narc relationships I had. Refreshing to actually hear it from someone who did it and not deny it anymore
I was the good woman. He was cold hearted with me in the end and also left me for a bad woman. What hurt me is when I found out he wa la talking about me with the other woman. He never never opened up with me like that .
Love you brother so much keep letting God use you so that we can protect ourselves.
Thank you for your truth
thank you Leon
I am a new here and will be a faithful follower .
Thank you for your honesty and time ❤️
Every now n then I click on you and everytime I am richly rewarded!! You just have a knack for saying how it is, from your side, that I really relate to.
Everytime, something I suspected becomes confirmed or something I was assume ng I knew gers clarifued and I'm set back, tell myself, be called nfident, but keep LISTENING. Iwill never kuw it all.
Thx Leon❤
I appreciate that. Thank you for your comment. 🙏🏾🙌🏾❤️
For what it's worth, I'm the one he technically "cheated" with after telling me they were at the end of their marriage because she'd emotionally abused him for years. I actually am educated, respected in the community, completely drug and alcohol free and from a Christian upbringing. I did smoke when we got together but he actually helped get me on the right vape to quit after 30 years of smoking. I got him into AA after years of drinking. He knows I'm respected so I'm not sure they always choose someone "beneath" them. He told me the reason he thought we get along so well is because we're both interested in the same things, similar upbringing & political views, both business owners, both artists, both had the same passion for the same hobby, both had similar personalities (outgoing, well respected, etc.) both wanted to relocate to Florida, both hated Winter, same love for our parents and family values etc. (He actually put his parents on a pedestal which I'm still trying to understand.) Little did I know he was about to collapse my world within 2 years.
Just by reading your story I can already see what a monstrous gaslighting you have been subjected to. "Below" them is an expression that sometimes means that for narcissists everyone is "below" them, simply because they are narcissistic! Even if you have ten diplomas and you are a prime minister and he is a cleaner, you will still be "below them" in their head. You still have a long way to go, I feel that there is still a lot of information to process. I wish you success!
How much did that Christian upbringing stick with you such that you got involved with a married man? 🤔 He didn’t “technically” cheat, he just cheated. He committed adultery and he got you, the one with the “Christian upbringing,” to help him do it with his sob story. Girl, you were dead in the water before the ship even sank.
It's nice to hear a man showing respect for the good women in his life. Hey Leon when are you and Lee going to do another session together? After listening to both of you I often wondered if you too spoke to each other. What is the name of your book?
He stopped kissing me even during sex and started criticizing me
When I first met my narc he met me 2 min and vomited 🤮 his life on me .. he wanted to see my level of compassion ..! Then he can work out how to abuse me .. and his wife was insisting I sit next to him at that dinner that’s where I met my narc in a group setting wich I found extremely odd ..! Only to find out they were Both in it ..! Such a SAD EGSISTENCE..!
Thank You !
Thank you for your raw honesty. I have witnessed the things you say in a friendship -- good friend, mentally compatible, great conversations, nice, going to cold and it was off-putting after the first months were better.
When I glance back at that friendship wondering, I watch one of your raw honesty videos of how you were prior to becoming self aware and I snap out of it and move forward.
Our lifestyles, my friend and I are different but we still enjoyed each other's company, but on a deeper level we are way different/opposites. He may not suffer if he keeps me around, but I would if I stay around.
I admire you for digging through all the challenges you witness.... in your behaviors to fully understand what makes you tick. You have come a long ways which is amazing.
Your sharing and radical truth helps me for sure. I seem to attract NPD. Think I am savvy and years later boom, another. In between narcissists on some level. I am older so did not know what was the matter. In the last few years more knowledge on the subject is out.
You never consented to the early childhood abuse but are studying how to overcome and heal some ways that hurt you over and over.
Makes sense. Take the remote away from the enemy of our souls.
I was thinking we learn how to handle anger from our parents. My Mom communicated and taught self control via spanking. My Dad was long suffering but would blow up once a year after having had enough or being pushed too far. I have both their ways. SMH
They say anger is one emotion easy for men because it is warrior, protector, a masculine emotion. Watch Viking movies where they start yelling before going into battle. Then was told drill down one by one the emotions under anger and get to the root of it. I was silly maybe experimenting with this in that I got online and got lists of feelings/emotions to see what I felt under anger to drill down to find the root cause. It helped, like what is really bothering me.
I had a lot of pain in many bad situations as an adult. Prayer and the Holy S, Father G, and Jesus did a major unravel on me.
Yet I still attracted another NPD. You and your radical raw honesty, blatant truth have helped me see the light of who I am, fairly and honestly, what do I need. We are each human -- unique working thru things, flaws, imperfections on ourselves to know what needs improved, changed, delivered off us... to be a better self, feel capable and have peace. We are not less than.
A former Prostitute in church went thru therapy and said: it is like a stack of manure/shit in the middle of the road. You can go down in the ditch around it. You can find a way to fly or get over it. Or, plough right through it and get it cleaned up off your path on the road and move forward.
Seeking therapy is not a weakness I see now. They see things and ways to help we don't.
Easier said than done the former Prostiitute said but the rewards of getting who you were born to be and your life back are a huge reward and her life got so much happier, peaceful, heartfelt fulfilling.
People overcoming horrific childhoods are like champion gladiators who were forced in the fight for their life, reality, out of denial.
I can't fully understand another's battle, but on fighting my own battles or haunts of the past I can understand somewhat -- hang in there. Ignore the critics. Denial is a bitch that is going down. The critics are still in denial, ha! But we don't quit seeking wellness and some happiness, true friendships, maybe a healthy relationship, and managing our emotions and thoughts, self care, self awareness.
God bless you real good Leon!
Black and Milds Leon? 😂😂
Keep up the Good Work on Yourself Brother, Being Honest and sharing can maybe help someone else but most Importantly when you expose those deep things and confess truthfully this information, it takes away the Power it has in the Dark. It takes Courage to face our REAL selves and that's more than most people can do! I am Praying for you!
Facts and I now understand that the same thing I have been thought and I'm out
You are amazing. You are not playing with this thibg you are giving it straight no chase. You genuinely want to help us. Thanks for the sacrifice to help us heal
Thank you. Not playing at all. It’s serious as you know and I enjoy helping people through this. I appreciate your comment 🙏🏾❤️💯🙌🏾
God bless you and may God continue to use you and Strengthen you in every way!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you brother for sharing this exact info
My Energy is strong, but... I had the wool pulled over My eyes big time!!, but as a Christian, I was able to test the spirit of that entity, aka' "th narc" & the deceit was overwhelming, soon as I put it, completely in the hands of God,,, the entity reluctantly departed🎉 even pop ups & phone calls have stopped, & if it does show back up, I will ask,,,, do I know you???😮
The individual I Ended it wit Never Stops his interest mines jus called himself thinking he cud control me more & more that it becomes obsessive - behaviors became obsessive
Yep went through the staring at the floor. Turns out his sister lied to him and told him I cheated. Not that he ever talked to me about it; just dropped a car on me instead. I can't get medical care. His sister throws all the parties for the doctors in this area. They chose to judge me as well with all her lies. Raped under anesthesia in 2020. They thought I was sleeping when him and his sister were talking on the phone. He was working on a carborator so he had it on speaker. It was a very disgusting conversation. After what was arranged she will never go back to the doctors again. He knew when they arranged it I had two tumors the size of almonds growing inside me. Found after he dropped the car on me. That didn't kill me so we need another plan. 4 years later I'm still alive and the only help I got was God.
❤Positive Manipulation! 👍
Thank you for sharing your growth with us.
This sounds right my ex had a side chick actually a whole wife( I didn’t know) and they used to talk about me (his fiancé of 9 years)together they bitched about me for no reason and sometimes in my face.no empathy .they enjoyed torturing me and everything was negative even about how I raise our kids I believe she was jelous of me in reality because i became strong and left and lived better own house car money and my 4 kids
This literally just happened to me 😢
On point!!
Truth … in hindsight I missed all the red flags . The only help through this was I had to work on ME .
It has all paid off 🎉
If every woman in your life was good. Then NO Woman was special at all.
Exactly cause he thinks HE is special.
@@ak-47intelligence75 I don't feel he thinks he was special. I think he was pointing at the fact that HE was the problem and not him. There were good women in his life and he blew it
Exactly!!!!!!
What up Leon??
What’s going on, Tony? How have you been?
@Leon R Walker Jr just getting ready for court next week. Court is like my second home since I divorced my covert narcissist ex wife. She manipulated the whole court system and made me look like the bad guy and used my reactive abuse to take my precious kids away from my life. I'm trying to get them back but it's been hard.
Did you open up to the bad woman more and talk bad about your good partner with the other bad partner ?
Nope they say how terrible their partners are and manipulate them to get their sympathy 😢
@leon why didn’t you stay alone and got help instead of ruining other women’s life’s?
That’s what I want to know not only him but other narcissistic people period why ruin someone’s life if you not ready to love them right pure evil
I think he's growing up, feeling guilty and taking responsibility for his actions
Meri Salvi, they have a proud heart.
💯💯💯
Why do you despise us?
Ohh you will know
🌻🌿
Good he check out he was always check out stop making excuses he started off with a lie if I only new I waisted my years nothing too show but bull s
Wtat is cigarettes go-to do with narcissism
I know a lot of victims who started to drink smoke because of narcissist abuse
Just shut 😂😂😂
He's saying that most Narcs who are addicted may choose others who are also addicted so they don't expect them to clean up if they're doing the same. I've never heard of someone who started smoking cigarettes because they were in a relationship with a Narc. One would think maybe they used to have a habit and picked it up again while with the person, but I can see with Narcissistic control how easy it could be for someone to start drinking or abusing things like pills in order to cope.
i dont feel sorry for You!!!! I FEEL SORRY FOR THE VICTIMS!!
I wish people like you would stop this bullshit everybody ain’t perfect but at least he realized he needed helped and fixed his problems and now is helping other people so they won’t have to deal with someone like him just stfu
Maria Manta please you're so ignorant and dumb...and negative no one cares about your opinion
Maria I don’t think he is asking us to feel sorry for him. He is just trying to educate us all. This is very insightful and I’m happy he is getting help he has apologized to those he hurt and he continues to evolve and heal. You are speaking from a hurt heart and wounded spirit. Pain can make you become that. I pray for your healing and understanding as well.
@@sarastevenson9592 Eloquently written & expressed!