It’s been my experience that the only ppl laughing at cake face are the smashers + very rarely the smashees. Idk what the continued fascination + enjoyment with it is. But to undo the little girl’s hurt feelings + fear of cake, I think Dusty’s onto it. Get her a pretty cupcake to baby step ur way back into her love of cake + definitely wind her up before mommy + daddy’s bday so she can be the smashER (just one time, then apologies + promises to never ever do that again).
1) Why would you think a wedding was a great place to try this? You owe the bride and groom a huge apology. 2) You said your daughter disliked having a mess on her face? Is that her norm? If yes, why would you think she would enjoy having frosting shoved all over her face? 3) I hope you've let this go, if you ever get her to a point of enjoying cake again.
I think a more fun way of introducing it would have been to have her do it to u first and then when she can see if ur happy and having fun, ask her if u can do the same back to her. But yeah definitely not at a wedding. Yta but u are a mom and give urself grace to learn and grow from a mistake
I agree with everything you said, especially about time & place for trying out their ridiculous tradition. I also gotta say WTF is wrong with people? Grooms smashing entire cakes in their brides face etc.? WHY???I do not get it! That embarrasses every person that is a victim of this 'prank' & in the case of brides, I have heard horror stories of them being blinded or scarred from it. Bakers often use wooden dowels to hold layers in place & when an idiot pushes your face in it, you can be stabbed & it happens far too often.
I've helped raise babies and they often enjoy getting messy and getting into stuff, so I can see why these parents thought she might enjoy it - even though a little more thought would've told them she was laughing at *other* people's faces being messy. But I agree that a wedding was NOT the place to try it for the first time. As far as consent goes, she's only 3 years old and might've had the same reaction if she had agreed to it because she's a brand new person - had never done it before. They definitely owe the bride and groom an apology, and have to rebuild trust so that she knows they're not going to surprise her with cake like that again.
If she saw cake smashing and laughed. She probably took mothers cake smashing as some sort of a punishment for laughing? Maybe she felt it was a way of shutting her up so now she thinks of cake as punishment
Yeah OP is TA but I think they recognize that they made an error in judgement and want to fix it. That kid saw the bride and groom smashing cake but that was probably with both parties being fine with it. That’s different from a surprise. I think the parents can get her over the cake fear with little pretty cupcakes or maybe small cakes with her favorite characters on them. They just really need to sit down with the kid and be like “ ok we made an error we won’t do this because you don’t like it”.
Make her participate in making a cake and let her try the frosting and the cake part separately. Maybe it's the whole decorated cake that she recognizes as something scary.
Story 1 - Without copium. She had to deal with the her consequences. Op wanted to him to get into trouble too. That makes Op way worse. Op is full of crap. Op "instead of help his crying traumatized child. He should be trying to make look good and make me feel better.". WTF?
Oh, I'm sure the tradition was "consensual." There's absolutely no way any bride in any of the weddings was ever coerced into it by family members /s. And to do that to a THREE YEAR OLD??? She wouldn't understand, especially if OP just did it. Maybe it's because I'm not a parent, but that feels obvious?? I really hope this isn't a red flag toward the idea that this child's boundaries don't matter. Because there are parents out there, mine included who think that "joking" is an excuse for a boundary crossing.
I don't understand the logic with it. It was a family wedding tradition that the bride and groom do. So why did you do it to the child? I understand you may have thought it would be cute but the reason that oh it is a wedding tradition we want to introduce the baby too.
You knew your child didn't like a mess on her face and you put cake in her face. I really don't think she will get over this and 20 yrs from now she will be the bride saying DO NoT and he will anyway and then she walk out and divorce him before the ink is dry
Mildly YTA! You really didn't mean any harm, but you might have tried the "tradition" at home alone first, after the reception where she saw the bride and groom with cake on their faces, and asking if she would like to try that just in case she had the very reaction she did have. At this point you can only reassure her you won't "smash" cake in her face ever again.
Op is ah 🤦♂️ No, that's not fun and yes it's disgusting to have something on your face and now you need to think how to get on her "cake side" flourish again...
If nothing else, these parents taught the child why consent is important.
YTA. Very much so. And at a wedding? Nah. You did wrong OP. Did wrong.
It’s been my experience that the only ppl laughing at cake face are the smashers + very rarely the smashees. Idk what the continued fascination + enjoyment with it is. But to undo the little girl’s hurt feelings + fear of cake, I think Dusty’s onto it. Get her a pretty cupcake to baby step ur way back into her love of cake + definitely wind her up before mommy + daddy’s bday so she can be the smashER (just one time, then apologies + promises to never ever do that again).
1) Why would you think a wedding was a great place to try this? You owe the bride and groom a huge apology. 2) You said your daughter disliked having a mess on her face? Is that her norm? If yes, why would you think she would enjoy having frosting shoved all over her face? 3) I hope you've let this go, if you ever get her to a point of enjoying cake again.
On my son’s third birthday, my niece shoved his face into the cake. It took almost thirty years for him to want to eat cake again. So yeah.
I mean... IDK why anyone finds humor in shoving cake in someone's face. I've never undestood this.
I think a more fun way of introducing it would have been to have her do it to u first and then when she can see if ur happy and having fun, ask her if u can do the same back to her. But yeah definitely not at a wedding. Yta but u are a mom and give urself grace to learn and grow from a mistake
I agree with everything you said, especially about time & place for trying out their ridiculous tradition. I also gotta say WTF is wrong with people? Grooms smashing entire cakes in their brides face etc.? WHY???I do not get it! That embarrasses every person that is a victim of this 'prank' & in the case of brides, I have heard horror stories of them being blinded or scarred from it. Bakers often use wooden dowels to hold layers in place & when an idiot pushes your face in it, you can be stabbed & it happens far too often.
I've helped raise babies and they often enjoy getting messy and getting into stuff, so I can see why these parents thought she might enjoy it - even though a little more thought would've told them she was laughing at *other* people's faces being messy. But I agree that a wedding was NOT the place to try it for the first time. As far as consent goes, she's only 3 years old and might've had the same reaction if she had agreed to it because she's a brand new person - had never done it before. They definitely owe the bride and groom an apology, and have to rebuild trust so that she knows they're not going to surprise her with cake like that again.
If she saw cake smashing and laughed. She probably took mothers cake smashing as some sort of a punishment for laughing? Maybe she felt it was a way of shutting her up so now she thinks of cake as punishment
Yeah OP is TA but I think they recognize that they made an error in judgement and want to fix it. That kid saw the bride and groom smashing cake but that was probably with both parties being fine with it. That’s different from a surprise. I think the parents can get her over the cake fear with little pretty cupcakes or maybe small cakes with her favorite characters on them. They just really need to sit down with the kid and be like “ ok we made an error we won’t do this because you don’t like it”.
Make her participate in making a cake and let her try the frosting and the cake part separately. Maybe it's the whole decorated cake that she recognizes as something scary.
*Make* her? You mean, double down on the non consent thing? What a brilliant idea!Not.
@@Ninsidhe🤨Suggest the activity of baking a cake if you prefer. Seriously…
YTA all the way. Ascon 1. She laughed because others were laughing
Of course you’re the AH. You know you’re the AH. Why even ask?
Story 1 - Without copium. She had to deal with the her consequences. Op wanted to him to get into trouble too. That makes Op way worse. Op is full of crap. Op "instead of help his crying traumatized child. He should be trying to make look good and make me feel better.". WTF?
Oh, I'm sure the tradition was "consensual." There's absolutely no way any bride in any of the weddings was ever coerced into it by family members /s.
And to do that to a THREE YEAR OLD??? She wouldn't understand, especially if OP just did it. Maybe it's because I'm not a parent, but that feels obvious?? I really hope this isn't a red flag toward the idea that this child's boundaries don't matter. Because there are parents out there, mine included who think that "joking" is an excuse for a boundary crossing.
You don't try to include small children in adult traditions! Yta!
At a wedding? Why? Are you that clueless? Pranking a kid at a wedding? Who thought that would work out ok?
I don't understand the logic with it. It was a family wedding tradition that the bride and groom do. So why did you do it to the child? I understand you may have thought it would be cute but the reason that oh it is a wedding tradition we want to introduce the baby too.
Ummmm yes Yta !!!!!! That’s a child ! No need to say anymore
You knew your child didn't like a mess on her face and you put cake in her face. I really don't think she will get over this and 20 yrs from now she will be the bride saying DO NoT and he will anyway and then she walk out and divorce him before the ink is dry
What exactly is a "gentle shove"?
it's a stupid, dirty tradition, and a stupid dirty idea... period
What is the point of shoving a 3 year olds face into cake? These jokes aren't funny.
💜
Mildly YTA! You really didn't mean any harm, but you might have tried the "tradition" at home alone first, after the reception where she saw the bride and groom with cake on their faces, and asking if she would like to try that just in case she had the very reaction she did have. At this point you can only reassure her you won't "smash" cake in her face ever again.
Let the child put cake on your face.
ASCON 2 why did you think that was a good plan, good luck getting her to trust you again.
Op is ah 🤦♂️
No, that's not fun and yes it's disgusting to have something on your face and now you need to think how to get on her "cake side" flourish again...
Ascon1- extremely ignorant!
This cake in face nonsense has gotten out of control. It really was never funny.