Yes I do - and is one of my blind sides that is hard to adjust because these scenarios happen in real time - You are having a conversation with someone - they overreact to you negatively - and for me - boom default kicks in - and here I am explaining - I appreciate what you teach us in nevermind if they understand you or not - but the respect for you is non negotiable - that for most of us we are not out looking to hurt feelings or offend - yet you find - there are many people who are out to hurt you or offend - and in turn judge your actions from that lens - I'm not going to lie - the "I am a good person" has come in handy to talk myself off the mental cliff of "what did I do wrong?" Because 9 times out of 10 I was being helpful or friendly and the person took it in a way unintended - and now I want them to see (thru explanation) No I am a good person in this moment and here's why 😅 - The real time adjustments are on my growth list and look forward to learning to catch myself more
Yeah, something that I know, but now I know that explaining yourself is perceived as a sign of weakness so I don't do that anymore. You got to be aware of your inborn psychological abilities as an INFJ. To explain your self in searching for understanding means to put your power outside your control, but we don't have to do that. Now I prefer to do what I love to do and when it comes to arguing about opinions my boundaries are carved in stone and when someone argues with me I use only objective information. And moreover the one-sided relationships experience helps too. If you once have been in such a relations you have already know that peoples minds are significantley more hardcore than what we have though before. It's not that easy, if it is possible in the first place, to break into peoples minds by being overly kind and stepping over your own personal boundaries. Instead try to test the other person, not with cruelty and coldness, but with velvet glove. Be nice, but still be you, still hold your power in your hands strongly and make everything to find out if the person you are interracting with is suetable for you or not. Strong mentality mean atractiveness, never forget it and strong means choosing your battles and close circle wisely.
For 75 years before I realized I was an INFJ I pretended to be like other people and I hated them and I hated myself. Today I know who I am and while it would be impossible for me to be mean (unless someone is asking for it ) I am exactly who I am. Some people find that very attractive others are intimidated others who knows and I don't care. Finally I feel good about mySELF❤️
@@infjsolitaire.3538 Clearly you are not an INFJ. We are intelligent and 47 of us easily concluded that the reason I just found out is bc I just took the MB test. you're better off in a group for people with low IQs and no manners. LOL indeed. Please learn how to spell while you're at it😄
I used to try to be kind to everyone and would get confused when some people would just be jerks and be downright nasty, bully me, even though I never did anything to them. After being bullied I've done a 180 and while I'm not nasty to anyone, I try not to give anyone the time of day if they are making me feel uncomfortable. I just walk away and try to avoid those people the best I can.
Yes, wish I had known earlier that might have saved lots of time and energy on others instead of focusing on the self, but never too late to realise and make adjustments, God bless ❤❤
Me too, I think the general INFJs are kind hearted peopleand they often get bullied or mistreated because they are often willing to give people the benefit of doubt and ignore their intuition, I am afraid the mainstream teachings are not meant for INFJs since they're the rare breed born with compassion and deep feelings...that being said I am still proud of myself to have good nature despite the hardships I've gone through.. God bless 💗
“Most people cannot read others…they will not be as compassionate as you were with them.” I have noticed that if I give an inch by apologizing for my part, certain people will then strengthen their victim stance and treat me worse! It’s incredible to watch! I was just being kind lol. This is SO EYE OPENING! Thank you for this video, I will start putting myself in my own shoes more regularly, and I will treat my ability to affect emotional change as a gift to use sparingly and purposefully to inspire and motivate others.
Yes too many people simply strengthen their victim stance when one apologizes to them. That is why I have become very reluctant to apologize to people. Too many just perceive it as weakness and use your vulnerability as a chance to poke you in the eye!
I don’t care anymore. I have no friends but I do have a husband and 3 adult children. My husband and I sit in 2 different rooms and do totally different things. It’s like being roommates as well as cook, maid, and whatever else needs to be done in the house. My oldest child is the most like me and we get along great. My middle son is living the life that I did when I was raising the three of them. He has a 5 and a 2 year old and he seems always in misery. I love it. My youngest is a daughter who started telling me she hates me when she was 10 years old. I believe her because she doesn’t work, I have no idea what she does all day and she lives right next door to me. I’d rather live in the middle of the woods with no one around in a mud hut and dirt floor.
The biggest wake-up call for me as an INFJ was coming through an interaction with a covert narcissist. I learned that I need to take care of my feelings and separate from toxic people as soon as I recognize the toxic effect on my innards.
I'm INFJ and I've never had problems telling people what I think and feel when I believe it needs to be said. I do watch which words I use and the tone of my voice, which is firm. If I do more than firm, people are frightened by me because they are not used to hearing or seeing me angry. That is frustrating. They act as if I have no right to be angry just because they've never seen me such before.
I let her rip a few weeks ago after holding back pain and frustration for months, being put through spiritual narcissistic abuse at an idolatrous church congregation where they worshiped the preacher and elders. It felt good to get it all out in the open, publicly, before door slamming those psychopaths.
How can Wenzes explain this stuff so well. I have looked at a lot of INFJ for advice on the internet over the years, and Wenzes channel is the best by a golden mile.
Absolutely. Is she not an infj herself? And I'm sure she has se background in psychology or the likes. Experience in the field of mentoring and or guiding.
@@thevoid186 She is an INFJ! She has mentioned it a few times in her videos, how she started her journey on an epic INFJ life after so much hurt has caused her to say enough is enough, and to being the channel to help other INFJs, to coach them. I believe the reason why her videos are one of the best for INFJs, is because she herself knows the torments and experiences we have gone through, and continue to go through, with people around us. She knows the narcissists, and our struggles, because she has gone through it herself. Her ability to translate her experiences in a universal manner to her audience is incredible, and evokes our emotions to tell her story. You could tell, at the beginning of this video, as she was retelling this story, that her emotions were still quite raw, but she used this to her advantage to build up a theme to the video. This may be the reason why we come back for more, because we can hear her, and she makes us feel heard. She's one heck of a life coach, that's for sure!
@Paul-eb2cl Agreed. I've worked for decades with learning disabilities in addition dealing with my own issues and only just now at 56 years old, am considering taking it to a professional level. I've worked with and utilized the DSM-IV (years ago) and never had INFJ so plainly explained and apparent. Thanks again Wenzes.
I'm new at this job & I'm not making efforts to 'belong'...so three weeks ago I was sitting on one desk, then decided to move because there were a lot of people next to me "discussing" things. So this senior guy (whom I admire - and secretely have a little crush on) said to me "why are you moving?" I playfully responded saying "there's noise here" this senior lady who is always fake-nice reacted in a way that crushed me...she said "there's noise here" mimicking me in a way that signified that she's taken aback by what I'd said. I felt so bad...I didn't know whether to apologize...or try & clarify to her that I was "joking" - it ruined my day. When I got home..I kept on thinking - how is it that I don't care about "fitting" in but in the same breath I care so much. Thank you so much Wenzes for healing my perspective each time I watch your videos, God bless you ❤
I was in a relationship for several years, where my partner accused me every single day, of something that wasn't true, whether it was me being unfaithful or about my character. It got to the point where, in trying to prove what I knew to be true about myself (that I loved him, and would never be unfaithful) that I became a complete recluse, only leaving the house to go to work and even being afraid to leave me desk at lunch, in case he phoned and I wasn't there, and then I wouldn't be able to 'prove' my genuineness (not my innocence...that wasnt the point). I thought one day he would see it, because it was obvious! Then...I had an epiphany: it didn't matter what I did...he would never ever see it because the problem was in his head. So I left and was happy ever after. I will never ever do that again!
And he very well could be the one who couldn’t be trusted. My ex-husband watched me very closely as he thought I might be cheating on him…he was the one who was actually guilty of straying. I did what you did-went overboard to “prove” I was faithful.
@@worldupsidedown1 yes!! My ex, I found out a while after I fled, had been taking out my young cousin (25 years his junior) to 'help her with her music degree' and had been telling her to keep it a secret as I wouldn't understand, due to my possessiveness!! She phoned me and told me, obviously very upset. I told her it wasn't her fault. You are SPOT ON!!!
Narcissists often accuse you of what they are doing. It’s called projection. It helps ease their shame. Pay attention to what people say…. Many times they will say exactly what they intend to do to you. Empathetic people are prey for cluster b disordered people.
I just learned that I have to protect myself from being too nice. I always felt guilty afterwards when I didn't make a dominant narcissistic person happy. Now I just show the person how I feel (not feeling bad anymore) and tell her what she's doing, hurting others. I am important too and yes "I will put myself more into my own shoes", it took me years to get there.. Thank you ♥️
I feel guilty about these circumstances and the other person gets nasty. They don't understand me and it is a vicious circle. 😫 I needed to hear this. Thank you Wenzes
I got to the point I no longer care if I hurt and destroy my friendship. I couldn’t stand their toxic behaviors and tried to help them improve themselves and always listened to them. I feel completely drained. I’m tired of giving people courage and validation. They gotta learn to know their worth on their own. I called them out and slammed the door real hard..now I’m a ghost and enjoying it so far. I will stay away from people so they don’t think I will hurt them with my sharp tongue. I will let them be delusional. They don’t want to face the reality then fine. They will never see what I’m trying to do and be there for them when they had me.
Yes we will attract narcs if we don’t take care of us. So very true. Let me reevaluate the situation. Just had this happen to me again. But, changing my ways and taking care of myself first. Remove myself from the situation. Move on. Take the step back. Be kind to myself, put myself in my shoes for once. Yes yes yes!!
Wow, this hits home. With my alcoholic husband, who I'm convinced was either on the autism scale or was a narcissist (or both), this was exactly the pattern. He would do or say something that infuriated me and I would lash out with some INFJ stuff. He wouldn't react in the way I expected (see above lol) and it would escalate. I would reflect, realize where I did the escalating, and try to apologize. He would get the smug look and be like "I told you so", which made me start to denigrate myself and doubt my skills. Thinking back, I think he started these situations on purpose. Never again.
Just because we can focus on others, doesn't mean we believe they deserve that focus. Not from their inherent value so much, but more from them not being relevant. Accepting our own irrelevance to others has to be taken into account in helping us to decide where to place our limited capacities and resources.
This is so true. I’m always bringing people’s emotion to the forefront and they feel attacked and then I feel guilty. Thank you Wenzes. Love getting your emails videos and your 5 pillars sheet. It really helps understand INFJ personality type. Thank you. ☺️
I needed that today. I'm so happy I listened to you before begging for forgiveness like a door mat. The other person wasn't fair either, but I apologised and forgot their part, anxious about feeling like a bad person. Not forgiven, I wanted to try again, but now I won't. They are responsible for their feelings.
Hardest lesson for an INFJ to learn is you can't make a person understand something unless that person is ready to open their own eyes first. Or basically you can't take someone down the rabbit hole if that person isn't ready to find the rabbit hole first. 🤔
Do I often feel the urge to make someone understand where I’m coming from? Yes. I exhibit the capability of explaining things and articulating through a conversation well. There are people that are set in their ways and choose to be difficult and prideful. Once I notice that I can’t get through to them, I stop, and speak with someone else who will listen and consider my suggestions/ideas. I don’t give up easy, yet I’m not mean about it. I’m persistent. If it looks like I have given up, I’m actually giving them a chance to think about it and reconsider.
Thank you for this video. As an INFJ, this is spot on and feel completely understood. When I hit a wall with someone, I get disappointed and try to move on, and will never do mention said problem again. I do feel guilt and apologize for making them feel that way even if I was expressing my feelings at the expense of stepping on someone's toes. The self doubt is such a disservice for myself, as I always put other's feelings first and put my feelings away. Trying to stay in touch with my feelings more.
I’m in a very ego oriented competitive career. I have always dimmed my lightbulb to make others feel comfortable. And now I’m in a living hell with bully type other staff spreading rumors about me… thinking I’m stupid. Just last week I had something pop up that I fixed rather quickly as I usually do and one co worker kept going around telling others that she was surprised that I figured it out on my own… I’m like, really? I’m high IQ here… I can fix or do anything. I’ve truly stopped being a doormat and trying to make others feel better.
I’ll be working with same person next week in Spain… we are all freelancers… I won’t allow myself to react to her crap anymore. I’m standing up now a lot more and I’m seeing others being confused by my behavior. I just laugh
Wow! You have absolutely no idea how much this hits for me. I've been in this situation for the past 5years and I'm still trying to figure out and understand why this other person feels the way they do toward me. And if there is a way I could some how fix it or let them understand. I've gone through a thousand senerios in my head just wanting to understand the other person perspective. But like you said the more I try to look at it from a rational point of view. I'm realizing the other person's not coming from a place of logic. I'm trying so hard to move on from this but easier said than done. One day I hope I can find peace and move on and I hope one day they can too.
Giiiiiirrrrrrll! This couldn't be more true! And frankly, I'm not sure I would have truly believed it or understood it if I hadn't learned it all the hard way. But now that I have, I have the authority to say "You KNOW of what you speak"
This is so true... Why must we constantly live in what we think we made another person feel..we literally have to look within first and see how we feel about a situation... Its not like when we are overwhelmed we can care about what everybody else's feeling..we can Simply just ignore and move on...
You guys keep in mind don’t take it to heart if by being around people some are uncomfortable with you. We INFJ types are literally walking around with a mirror and some people get really uncomfortable with that because either they don’t want to face themselves or they don’t want others to see them for who they are. It doesn’t matter if you really care about the real them because they don’t want to confront the authenticity issue that’s deep rooted in themselves. That being said use your wisdom, knowledge and understanding to best approach them if their open to the relationship so it’s not a YOU issue.
As soon as you said that you wanted to show how we could turn the "understanding" aspect into a skill rather than a hindrance, I knew you were onto something useful. I know this dynamic all too well - with its concomitant contradictory dilemma: (a) We're supposed to make people understand what we mean - we mustn't hurt their feelings, after all! ... and then (b) We're not supposed to "owe an explanation!" 😕 ...or (c) when we "explain" its seen as a sign of weakness. Go figure. I've worked out a plan to treat others the way I'd like to be (namely, well) and I have less trouble. I'm less worried about what their response could be. I also hear what you're saying about the fact that sometimes we're looking for "validation." This is where we need to learn to love and respect ourselves and draw our boundaries - especially when there's abusive behavior.
As a child, I was forced into serving selfish people, so I grew up into a people pleaser. That stopped this year, some decades later. Adjusting into this new Sigma self has been rocky but freeing. Thanks for your videos. Your insights about us are spot on.
Very profound points and thank you. Was just feeling this week funnily enough and tried for the first time not saying sorry for what was actually nothing but a burning desire to help someone by sharing information with them who admitted they’re traumatised. Low and behold they’re probably offended of course, until hopefully they have a good think and have their own aha moment I hope. Great video 👌
I should have sympathy for myself... Coz other people don't... Nobody thinks about how i feel, what i want... They never asked or intended to understand... So I've to do it myself
Wow, this video felt therapeutic to me! It made me reevaluate a situation which happened many years ago when I said something that hurt another person. Only now I was able to remember it was my reaction (not intention) cause I was angry at this person and naturally I wasn't super gentle with my wording. That's such a relief!!! Thank you Wenzes for everything you do for us INFJs!❤️ I wish you had a donation option so that we could thank you this way as well.:)
This is as powerful video! It is pertinent to my life. Your topics seem to always be on time. This is something that I have done, neglected my feelings to preserve someone else’s. This is dangerous and can embolden someone to push more disrespect and dirt your way. Great message. Will revisit this one! ❤
Accept that they'll only see an apology or holding yourself accountable as confirmation that you're wrong😆 if there's no reciprocity, no olive branch coming back- quit pounding the square peg into the round hole. That's a great metric to know when it's time to call it quits!
Thank you so much for making these videos. Each and every one has struck a chord within me, so profoundly, as to be both a revelation & a source of sadness for so many lost years of not understanding myself.
Dude, she sounds like my wife, with the hurts issues. Turned out in counseling that she was a rigid boundary person. That understanding made much of the ridiculousness of the squabbles comprehensible, and drastically reduced both our frustrations over what was going-on between us.
@@elizaveta2407 "very often the most fragile ppl are those who have no problem hurting others." Yes. There are some who will consciously decide to hurt others and engage in Fight response - it is quick and easy method to get rid of anxiety and thus narcissists and aggressive borderliners are born - they will rationalize their abuse and criminal behaviour through other being "aggressive" to them. They feel attacked - they simply attack back - without thinking how the other person will feel and without taking time to exam what happened and whether there was any attack at all to begin with. They bite to anything that moves - they are toxic. On the other side there are socially anxious and avoidant ones who will never ever cause other feel the same anxiety. Go through much length to self censor and shut up even when accused of something untrue. They know very well how much it hurts and they do not want others to feel that same pain.. This is also dysfunctional, since fight response is turned inwards, into self hatred and self blame, perfectionism and caring what other people think - and aggression inward is not perceived as aggression at all, and in the same way, this self aggression is being rationalized as normal reaction and validated as good moral ethical thing to do, since others are not hurt. Unlike abusers who will never heal due to egocentrism, the latter group can heal from this dysfunctional rationalizations how to handle conflicts.
@@ranc1977 you definitely have a point. I was rather speaking of the most fragile ppl though, the ones you feel nervous to engage with cause everything seem to hurt them. You mentioned that the second group "shut up even when accused of something untrue" - this behaviour seems more stoic than fragile to me.
@@ranc1977 oh, btw fragile ppl don't always attack back, they often "play the victim" acting like they are offended (even if you did nothing wrong). It's a different kind of toxic response, which is very cunning and often overlooked cause it's not openly aggressive. Covert narcissists tend to use it quite often cause they love mind games, manipulation etc.
It took a while to come to terms with this balance. There are people in my life where I want to learn how to not trigger their issues with how I say things while at the same time knowing that there's nothing inherently wrong with my natural expression, it's just something that I need to modify for them. (This is mainly my wife. And this really only applies to "small" things like how I naturally speak in certain situations that she associates with her dad or the like.) There are other people in my life that I feel no need to change for and if they don't like who I am that is fine and I'm not the friend for them. It takes time to learn when to budge, compromise without internalizing guilt, and when to stick to your guns and not care how other people feel about you. Because of my family upbringing/life experience, I didn't end up with the classic INFJ need to make other people like me. I actually am super repulsive to narcissists and gaslighters as I unconsciously make them feel small or threatened... and I am more than happy with that situation.
I don't have the time to open eyes 👀 or for dramatic pointlessness. I'm busy surviving and working towards a better tomorrow. If you don't get it I can't help.
You can't deny who you are and how affect people, but you can't take responsibility for how other people perceive you and your words. I've been in the place for this video for a little while now, thank you for this...I'm on the right track!! ❤️ thank you!
I was sooo “other directed” for most of my life. That’s a good thing when raising kids & other scenarios. However, as I’ve aged, I realized this was the root of my being taken advantage of repeatedly. The insight you provide is life changing❣️
Listening to you, I realized that I was always concerned with how the other persons feelings were and if I hurt their feelings I felt responsible. That was wrong and I see how this one thing especially is actually an obstruction free ooen door for narcissists. They are like an energy vampire that lives off of us while we hold ourselves responsible for how they feel. How convenient for the other person. We need to stop bei g responsible for their feelings and evict them from our lives. That is what I saw while watching this program. THANK YOU !
Wenze What do u think about synchronicity? Do u think perhaps InfJ has a certain affinity for it? Like we are more suitable for being in tune with the universe. This has to have substance to it. Like especially when you are sending out signals, consciously or not, verbally or in another fashion. The universe heeeds the call and we here the universe call for harmony. Cause if people suck and it's all gonna die eventually.. u need the broken hearted and the people that volunteer and have decided you plant a seed not just for your own nourishment in their time...but for people in the future to have shade as well, long after you have passed. I don't know if it's in an infjs nature to be natural preachers of philosophy. But it's a way to spread the decent things about life and keep in mind how very special this whole life thing is. It's uneasy af seeing people be understanding and helping each other. empathy. Feeling the vibes of receiving and sacrificing out of loving intent... Simultaneously. I will tear up and it's embarrassing but omg the joy is so intense it's not describable
HFFS. WTF was I thinking???? Simply stated Wenzes :) T!Y! "Put yourself in your shoes." I've been trying to "help" other people understand me and that's almost impossible, wouldn't really know if they did anyway. At this point I can't care (although I do) if someone gets it. My efforts for others have begun to not be helpful to them because now other people are feeling bad for me since I'm worst and they are better off. I've helped people out so much and am not getting mine. I can do it in the right way and it can be good. WOW
Just wanted to say thank you for your videos they help me better myself still not sure if im an infj but ur videos make a whole lot of sense to me I'm not subbed and I dont like videos but just wanted to show my gratitude :) thank you once again
Lol Idk why I said the not subbed part and liking part... came off a little toxic dont take it that way I dont click the like button in general on youtube thats what I meant 😅
Sometimes the fact that I can make people understand stuff or I try to make or help people understand stuff makes me feel like some of the relationships in my life are fake or I'm fake after they finally get it or either they lie like they understand so they dont lose me. Idk.... Just *sighs* .... Sometimes I will be feeling stuck & they dont get it. *sorry but in my head what I'm typing makes sense but maybe not on here*
A funny anecdote for your pleasure. I keep to myself like the rest of us. Last night I encountered a pair of my neighbors; a couple. He said, "where have you been? I never see you. My wife sees you more than I do". I leaned forward with a smirk and retorted softly, "what, are you jealous?". This is the level of magnetism and charisma we possess. We can take a person's guard down while pushing their joy button. Here's a conversation starter: Is the orange Jesus an INFJ? That's a scary insight if it's true. Stay safe and be well, eh? God bless America. ♥
Oh my gosh, I've watched many of your videos and they have been helpful, but this one resonates with me more than all the others! I need to stop trying to make people understand me!
Wait, there is a box? Where? LOL. That's what I said to my housemate. They were saying most people could not think outside the box. I gave up trying to be even within earshot of it in my 30's. In all seriousness though, how others take what I say or do, does not phase me so much in my 50's. I figured out that the reason they get mad is they can't leave the shallow end of the pool. Anything deeper then talk about the weather scares the frick out of them. So, I use that to my advantage now. I write and make art that turns people on or makes them think of uncomfortable things so they evolve. The only fear I have now is that could become cult like. This is why I am making it so gross and bizarre that nobody else will want to try to relate. Saving the world from magical psychosis, one strange phrase at a time.
You are not just a life coach to us. You are a super mom. I have no idea WHERE you find the energy. So, Ive been watching how you rate, and post. I feel like its become tediouse for you. but thats just MY observation.
I see too many people commenting and following channels on TH-cam about INFJ... Aren't we less than 1%?? I doubt that some many of us just suddenly coincide on TH-cam, and we all talk English... I'm not accusing no one of nothing, it's just that I'm afraid that some people may be projecting what they want to be, and If you ask me I would prefer any other kind of personality, this one is the worst one by far. Anyway, it is good to comprehend oneself but don't linger too much in selfpitty, it eventually transforms in ego, and we know that what really matters it's inside. Take care!
Person: "Just tell me what you're feeling. I'm not a mind reader." INFJ: **Are you f***ing kidding me? I'm the one being extra cognizant of your body language, dissecting your vocabulary, reading between your lines to uncover your soul, and you can't even return the favor? Maybe if you weren't so self-involved and wrapped up in pointless drama, you'd realize that you don't need to be a mind-reader. You just have to see, really see, the person in front of you.** "Fine."
....but, That Space! 😳 I'm in the transition of. I gave, I bleed from my soul on another dimension. All Senses have been Awake since I was born. Mundane can not comprehend. I am sometimes afraid of from myself and what I am capable of and I need no violence! I'm okay with that.
Do you often feel the urge to make people "understand" where you are coming from?
Yes I do - and is one of my blind sides that is hard to adjust because these scenarios happen in real time - You are having a conversation with someone - they overreact to you negatively - and for me - boom default kicks in - and here I am explaining - I appreciate what you teach us in nevermind if they understand you or not - but the respect for you is non negotiable - that for most of us we are not out looking to hurt feelings or offend - yet you find - there are many people who are out to hurt you or offend - and in turn judge your actions from that lens - I'm not going to lie - the "I am a good person" has come in handy to talk myself off the mental cliff of "what did I do wrong?" Because 9 times out of 10 I was being helpful or friendly and the person took it in a way unintended - and now I want them to see (thru explanation) No I am a good person in this moment and here's why 😅 - The real time adjustments are on my growth list and look forward to learning to catch myself more
I do because people often don't let me finish before interpreting what I say.
NOT EVERYONE. So, It's and Estranged, Yes and No.
This is my, Me. I have hurt people, by not violence. I wouldn't sugar coat. I went there.
Yeah, something that I know, but now I know that explaining yourself is perceived as a sign of weakness so I don't do that anymore. You got to be aware of your inborn psychological abilities as an INFJ. To explain your self in searching for understanding means to put your power outside your control, but we don't have to do that. Now I prefer to do what I love to do and when it comes to arguing about opinions my boundaries are carved in stone and when someone argues with me I use only objective information. And moreover the one-sided relationships experience helps too. If you once have been in such a relations you have already know that peoples minds are significantley more hardcore than what we have though before. It's not that easy, if it is possible in the first place, to break into peoples minds by being overly kind and stepping over your own personal boundaries. Instead try to test the other person, not with cruelty and coldness, but with velvet glove. Be nice, but still be you, still hold your power in your hands strongly and make everything to find out if the person you are interracting with is suetable for you or not. Strong mentality mean atractiveness, never forget it and strong means choosing your battles and close circle wisely.
A young INFJ and an older INFJ are not the same. Trust me it gets better with time.
For 75 years before I realized I was an INFJ I pretended to be like other people and I hated them and I hated myself. Today I know who I am and while it would be impossible for me to be mean (unless someone is asking for it ) I am exactly who I am. Some people find that very attractive others are intimidated others who knows and I don't care. Finally I feel good about mySELF❤️
Lol after 75 years you realised!
@@infjsolitaire.3538 Clearly you are not an INFJ. We are intelligent and 47 of us easily concluded that the reason I just found out is bc I just took the MB test. you're better off in a group for people with low IQs and no manners. LOL indeed. Please learn how to spell while you're at it😄
I ❤️ love what you stated here!
Happy for you 🙏🏼
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing and encouraging others with your comment. I am on year 45 and only now discovering this new season.
I used to try to be kind to everyone and would get confused when some people would just be jerks and be downright nasty, bully me, even though I never did anything to them. After being bullied I've done a 180 and while I'm not nasty to anyone, I try not to give anyone the time of day if they are making me feel uncomfortable. I just walk away and try to avoid those people the best I can.
Yes, wish I had known earlier that might have saved lots of time and energy on others instead of focusing on the self, but never too late to realise and make adjustments, God bless ❤❤
Me too, I think the general INFJs are kind hearted peopleand they often get bullied or mistreated because they are often willing to give people the benefit of doubt and ignore their intuition, I am afraid the mainstream teachings are not meant for INFJs since they're the rare breed born with compassion and deep feelings...that being said I am still proud of myself to have good nature despite the hardships I've gone through.. God bless 💗
“Most people cannot read others…they will not be as compassionate as you were with them.”
I have noticed that if I give an inch by apologizing for my part, certain people will then strengthen their victim stance and treat me worse! It’s incredible to watch! I was just being kind lol.
This is SO EYE OPENING! Thank you for this video, I will start putting myself in my own shoes more regularly, and I will treat my ability to affect emotional change as a gift to use sparingly and purposefully to inspire and motivate others.
Yes too many people simply strengthen their victim stance when one apologizes to them. That is why I have become very reluctant to apologize to people. Too many just perceive it as weakness and use your vulnerability as a chance to poke you in the eye!
I have noticed this. And it's gotten so out of control on a societal level. People like this repulse me
I don’t care anymore. I have no friends but I do have a husband and 3 adult children. My husband and I sit in 2 different rooms and do totally different things. It’s like being roommates as well as cook, maid, and whatever else needs to be done in the house. My oldest child is the most like me and we get along great. My middle son is living the life that I did when I was raising the three of them. He has a 5 and a 2 year old and he seems always in misery. I love it. My youngest is a daughter who started telling me she hates me when she was 10 years old. I believe her because she doesn’t work, I have no idea what she does all day and she lives right next door to me. I’d rather live in the middle of the woods with no one around in a mud hut and dirt floor.
The biggest wake-up call for me as an INFJ was coming through an interaction with a covert narcissist. I learned that I need to take care of my feelings and separate from toxic people as soon as I recognize the toxic effect on my innards.
I'm INFJ and I've never had problems telling people what I think and feel when I believe it needs to be said. I do watch which words I use and the tone of my voice, which is firm. If I do more than firm, people are frightened by me because they are not used to hearing or seeing me angry. That is frustrating. They act as if I have no right to be angry just because they've never seen me such before.
I let her rip a few weeks ago after holding back pain and frustration for months, being put through spiritual narcissistic abuse at an idolatrous church congregation where they worshiped the preacher and elders. It felt good to get it all out in the open, publicly, before door slamming those psychopaths.
How can Wenzes explain this stuff so well. I have looked at a lot of INFJ for advice on the internet over the years, and Wenzes channel is the best by a golden mile.
So true
Absolutely. Is she not an infj herself? And I'm sure she has se background in psychology or the likes. Experience in the field of mentoring and or guiding.
@@thevoid186 She is an INFJ! She has mentioned it a few times in her videos, how she started her journey on an epic INFJ life after so much hurt has caused her to say enough is enough, and to being the channel to help other INFJs, to coach them.
I believe the reason why her videos are one of the best for INFJs, is because she herself knows the torments and experiences we have gone through, and continue to go through, with people around us. She knows the narcissists, and our struggles, because she has gone through it herself. Her ability to translate her experiences in a universal manner to her audience is incredible, and evokes our emotions to tell her story.
You could tell, at the beginning of this video, as she was retelling this story, that her emotions were still quite raw, but she used this to her advantage to build up a theme to the video. This may be the reason why we come back for more, because we can hear her, and she makes us feel heard. She's one heck of a life coach, that's for sure!
@Paul-eb2cl Agreed. I've worked for decades with learning disabilities in addition dealing with my own issues and only just now at 56 years old, am considering taking it to a professional level. I've worked with and utilized the DSM-IV (years ago) and never had INFJ so plainly explained and apparent. Thanks again Wenzes.
Spot on. Wenzes is the BEST. ☝️
I'm new at this job & I'm not making efforts to 'belong'...so three weeks ago I was sitting on one desk, then decided to move because there were a lot of people next to me "discussing" things. So this senior guy (whom I admire - and secretely have a little crush on) said to me "why are you moving?" I playfully responded saying "there's noise here" this senior lady who is always fake-nice reacted in a way that crushed me...she said "there's noise here" mimicking me in a way that signified that she's taken aback by what I'd said.
I felt so bad...I didn't know whether to apologize...or try & clarify to her that I was "joking" - it ruined my day.
When I got home..I kept on thinking - how is it that I don't care about "fitting" in but in the same breath I care so much.
Thank you so much Wenzes for healing my perspective each time I watch your videos, God bless you ❤
I was in a relationship for several years, where my partner accused me every single day, of something that wasn't true, whether it was me being unfaithful or about my character. It got to the point where, in trying to prove what I knew to be true about myself (that I loved him, and would never be unfaithful) that I became a complete recluse, only leaving the house to go to work and even being afraid to leave me desk at lunch, in case he phoned and I wasn't there, and then I wouldn't be able to 'prove' my genuineness (not my innocence...that wasnt the point). I thought one day he would see it, because it was obvious! Then...I had an epiphany: it didn't matter what I did...he would never ever see it because the problem was in his head. So I left and was happy ever after. I will never ever do that again!
And he very well could be the one who couldn’t be trusted. My ex-husband watched me very closely as he thought I might be cheating on him…he was the one who was actually guilty of straying. I did what you did-went overboard to “prove” I was faithful.
@@worldupsidedown1 yes!! My ex, I found out a while after I fled, had been taking out my young cousin (25 years his junior) to 'help her with her music degree' and had been telling her to keep it a secret as I wouldn't understand, due to my possessiveness!! She phoned me and told me, obviously very upset. I told her it wasn't her fault. You are SPOT ON!!!
@@alicejwho "Your possessiveness". So classic, they are the one's who are possessive. So glad you fled, freedom!!
Narcissists often accuse you of what they are doing. It’s called projection. It helps ease their shame. Pay attention to what people say…. Many times they will say exactly what they intend to do to you. Empathetic people are prey for cluster b disordered people.
I just learned that I have to protect myself from being too nice. I always felt guilty afterwards when I didn't make a dominant narcissistic person happy.
Now I just show the person how I feel (not feeling bad anymore) and tell her what she's doing, hurting others.
I am important too and yes "I will put myself more into my own shoes", it took me years to get there..
Thank you ♥️
I feel guilty about these circumstances and the other person gets nasty. They don't understand me and it is a vicious circle. 😫 I needed to hear this. Thank you Wenzes
I got to the point I no longer care if I hurt and destroy my friendship. I couldn’t stand their toxic behaviors and tried to help them improve themselves and always listened to them. I feel completely drained. I’m tired of giving people courage and validation. They gotta learn to know their worth on their own. I called them out and slammed the door real hard..now I’m a ghost and enjoying it so far. I will stay away from people so they don’t think I will hurt them with my sharp tongue. I will let them be delusional. They don’t want to face the reality then fine. They will never see what I’m trying to do and be there for them when they had me.
Wow😊! I’ve got a twin mind and heart in this world. I’am not the only one who thinks and feels like this.
Yes we will attract narcs if we don’t take care of us. So very true. Let me reevaluate the situation. Just had this happen to me again. But, changing my ways and taking care of myself first. Remove myself from the situation. Move on. Take the step back. Be kind to myself, put myself in my shoes for once. Yes yes yes!!
Wow, this hits home. With my alcoholic husband, who I'm convinced was either on the autism scale or was a narcissist (or both), this was exactly the pattern. He would do or say something that infuriated me and I would lash out with some INFJ stuff. He wouldn't react in the way I expected (see above lol) and it would escalate. I would reflect, realize where I did the escalating, and try to apologize. He would get the smug look and be like "I told you so", which made me start to denigrate myself and doubt my skills. Thinking back, I think he started these situations on purpose. Never again.
Just because we can focus on others, doesn't mean we believe they deserve that focus. Not from their inherent value so much, but more from them not being relevant. Accepting our own irrelevance to others has to be taken into account in helping us to decide where to place our limited capacities and resources.
I had the exact same thought today.
Woah. Yes. Sad...maybe, but absolutely true.
This is so true. I’m always bringing people’s emotion to the forefront and they feel attacked and then I feel guilty. Thank you Wenzes. Love getting your emails videos and your 5 pillars sheet. It really helps understand INFJ personality type.
Thank you. ☺️
I needed that today. I'm so happy I listened to you before begging for forgiveness like a door mat. The other person wasn't fair either, but I apologised and forgot their part, anxious about feeling like a bad person. Not forgiven, I wanted to try again, but now I won't. They are responsible for their feelings.
Hardest lesson for an INFJ to learn is you can't make a person understand something unless that person is ready to open their own eyes first. Or basically you can't take someone down the rabbit hole if that person isn't ready to find the rabbit hole first. 🤔
I just came to term with covert narcissistic abuse and this rly helpful. A whole new perspective.
Do I often feel the urge to make someone understand where I’m coming from? Yes. I exhibit the capability of explaining things and articulating through a conversation well. There are people that are set in their ways and choose to be difficult and prideful. Once I notice that I can’t get through to them, I stop, and speak with someone else who will listen and consider my suggestions/ideas. I don’t give up easy, yet I’m not mean about it. I’m persistent. If it looks like I have given up, I’m actually giving them a chance to think about it and reconsider.
Thank you for this video. As an INFJ, this is spot on and feel completely understood. When I hit a wall with someone, I get disappointed and try to move on, and will never do mention said problem again. I do feel guilt and apologize for making them feel that way even if I was expressing my feelings at the expense of stepping on someone's toes. The self doubt is such a disservice for myself, as I always put other's feelings first and put my feelings away. Trying to stay in touch with my feelings more.
I’m in a very ego oriented competitive career. I have always dimmed my lightbulb to make others feel comfortable. And now I’m in a living hell with bully type other staff spreading rumors about me… thinking I’m stupid. Just last week I had something pop up that I fixed rather quickly as I usually do and one co worker kept going around telling others that she was surprised that I figured it out on my own… I’m like, really? I’m high IQ here… I can fix or do anything. I’ve truly stopped being a doormat and trying to make others feel better.
I’ll be working with same person next week in Spain… we are all freelancers… I won’t allow myself to react to her crap anymore. I’m standing up now a lot more and I’m seeing others being confused by my behavior. I just laugh
@@casssmith2610 You need to use the INFJ superpower and tell them a few truths about themselves. They will avoid you after that.
Wow! You have absolutely no idea how much this hits for me. I've been in this situation for the past 5years and I'm still trying to figure out and understand why this other person feels the way they do toward me. And if there is a way I could some how fix it or let them understand. I've gone through a thousand senerios in my head just wanting to understand the other person perspective. But like you said the more I try to look at it from a rational point of view. I'm realizing the other person's not coming from a place of logic. I'm trying so hard to move on from this but easier said than done. One day I hope I can find peace and move on and I hope one day they can too.
This is a very important aspect to be taken care of. Thank you, Wenzes!
Giiiiiirrrrrrll! This couldn't be more true! And frankly, I'm not sure I would have truly believed it or understood it if I hadn't learned it all the hard way. But now that I have, I have the authority to say "You KNOW of what you speak"
This is so true... Why must we constantly live in what we think we made another person feel..we literally have to look within first and see how we feel about a situation... Its not like when we are overwhelmed we can care about what everybody else's feeling..we can Simply just ignore and move on...
You guys keep in mind don’t take it to heart if by being around people some are uncomfortable with you. We INFJ types are literally walking around with a mirror and some people get really uncomfortable with that because either they don’t want to face themselves or they don’t want others to see them for who they are. It doesn’t matter if you really care about the real them because they don’t want to confront the authenticity issue that’s deep rooted in themselves. That being said use your wisdom, knowledge and understanding to best approach them if their open to the relationship so it’s not a YOU issue.
As soon as you said that you wanted to show how we could turn the "understanding" aspect into a skill rather than a hindrance, I knew you were onto something useful.
I know this dynamic all too well - with its concomitant contradictory dilemma: (a) We're supposed to make people understand what we mean - we mustn't hurt their feelings, after all! ... and then (b) We're not supposed to "owe an explanation!" 😕 ...or (c) when we "explain" its seen as a sign of weakness.
Go figure.
I've worked out a plan to treat others the way I'd like to be (namely, well) and I have less trouble. I'm less worried about what their response could be.
I also hear what you're saying about the fact that sometimes we're looking for "validation." This is where we need to learn to love and respect ourselves and draw our boundaries - especially when there's abusive behavior.
As a child, I was forced into serving selfish people, so I grew up into a people pleaser. That stopped this year, some decades later. Adjusting into this new Sigma self has been rocky but freeing. Thanks for your videos. Your insights about us are spot on.
I stop that years ago, now it’s fully in place. I’m over it.
Very profound points and thank you. Was just feeling this week funnily enough and tried for the first time not saying sorry for what was actually nothing but a burning desire to help someone by sharing information with them who admitted they’re traumatised. Low and behold they’re probably offended of course, until hopefully they have a good think and have their own aha moment I hope. Great video 👌
At this point I question if it’s my INFJness or maybe I’m on the spectrum 😓
I should have sympathy for myself... Coz other people don't... Nobody thinks about how i feel, what i want... They never asked or intended to understand... So I've to do it myself
Wow, this video felt therapeutic to me! It made me reevaluate a situation which happened many years ago when I said something that hurt another person. Only now I was able to remember it was my reaction (not intention) cause I was angry at this person and naturally I wasn't super gentle with my wording. That's such a relief!!!
Thank you Wenzes for everything you do for us INFJs!❤️
I wish you had a donation option so that we could thank you this way as well.:)
how often has this happened to me?
constantly, always, with pretty much everyone
thanks for this food for thought
This is as powerful video! It is pertinent to my life. Your topics seem to always be on time. This is something that I have done, neglected my feelings to preserve someone else’s. This is dangerous and can embolden someone to push more disrespect and dirt your way. Great message. Will revisit this one! ❤
Accept that they'll only see an apology or holding yourself accountable as confirmation that you're wrong😆 if there's no reciprocity, no olive branch coming back- quit pounding the square peg into the round hole. That's a great metric to know when it's time to call it quits!
Thank you so much for making these videos. Each and every one has struck a chord within me, so profoundly, as to be both a revelation & a source of sadness for so many lost years of not understanding myself.
Helps a lot to feel better but does not help to be a person with better friendships 😢
Exactly i never felt i was good enough
Me too!
This explains one of the biggest issues in my marriage. She always thought my intent was to hurt her. Also, I was a mirror of her issues.
Dude, she sounds like my wife, with the hurts issues. Turned out in counseling that she was a rigid boundary person. That understanding made much of the ridiculousness of the squabbles comprehensible, and drastically reduced both our frustrations over what was going-on between us.
Might be a classic projection - very often the most fragile ppl are those who have no problem hurting others. Projection feels like a mirror for sure.
@@elizaveta2407 "very often the most fragile ppl are those who have no problem hurting others."
Yes.
There are some who will consciously decide to hurt others and engage in Fight response - it is quick and easy method to get rid of anxiety and thus narcissists and aggressive borderliners are born - they will rationalize their abuse and criminal behaviour through other being "aggressive" to them. They feel attacked - they simply attack back - without thinking how the other person will feel and without taking time to exam what happened and whether there was any attack at all to begin with. They bite to anything that moves - they are toxic.
On the other side there are socially anxious and avoidant ones who will never ever cause other feel the same anxiety. Go through much length to self censor and shut up even when accused of something untrue. They know very well how much it hurts and they do not want others to feel that same pain.. This is also dysfunctional, since fight response is turned inwards, into self hatred and self blame, perfectionism and caring what other people think - and aggression inward is not perceived as aggression at all, and in the same way, this self aggression is being rationalized as normal reaction and validated as good moral ethical thing to do, since others are not hurt.
Unlike abusers who will never heal due to egocentrism, the latter group can heal from this dysfunctional rationalizations how to handle conflicts.
@@ranc1977 you definitely have a point. I was rather speaking of the most fragile ppl though, the ones you feel nervous to engage with cause everything seem to hurt them. You mentioned that the second group "shut up even when accused of something untrue" - this behaviour seems more stoic than fragile to me.
@@ranc1977 oh, btw fragile ppl don't always attack back, they often "play the victim" acting like they are offended (even if you did nothing wrong). It's a different kind of toxic response, which is very cunning and often overlooked cause it's not openly aggressive. Covert narcissists tend to use it quite often cause they love mind games, manipulation etc.
It took a while to come to terms with this balance. There are people in my life where I want to learn how to not trigger their issues with how I say things while at the same time knowing that there's nothing inherently wrong with my natural expression, it's just something that I need to modify for them. (This is mainly my wife. And this really only applies to "small" things like how I naturally speak in certain situations that she associates with her dad or the like.)
There are other people in my life that I feel no need to change for and if they don't like who I am that is fine and I'm not the friend for them.
It takes time to learn when to budge, compromise without internalizing guilt, and when to stick to your guns and not care how other people feel about you.
Because of my family upbringing/life experience, I didn't end up with the classic INFJ need to make other people like me. I actually am super repulsive to narcissists and gaslighters as I unconsciously make them feel small or threatened... and I am more than happy with that situation.
I don't have the time to open eyes 👀 or for dramatic pointlessness. I'm busy surviving and working towards a better tomorrow. If you don't get it I can't help.
You can't deny who you are and how affect people, but you can't take responsibility for how other people perceive you and your words.
I've been in the place for this video for a little while now, thank you for this...I'm on the right track!! ❤️ thank you!
I was sooo “other directed” for most of my life. That’s a good thing when raising kids & other scenarios. However, as I’ve aged, I realized this was the root of my being taken advantage of repeatedly. The insight you provide is life changing❣️
“Completely oblivious to our own state.” - dang, so true. It’s there still, our feeling about it, but it’s unconscious, because we are judging it.
Listening to you, I realized that I was always concerned with how the other persons feelings were and if I hurt their feelings I felt responsible. That was wrong and I see how this one thing especially is actually an obstruction free ooen door for narcissists. They are like an energy vampire that lives off of us while we hold ourselves responsible for how they feel. How convenient for the other person.
We need to stop bei g responsible for their feelings and evict them from our lives.
That is what I saw while watching this program. THANK YOU !
This gets so confusing, I don't know whether it's me or the other person. Sometimes, it's best to just move on and stop worrying about it.
This is insanely accurate
I’m so happy to find this channel
Excellent video Wenzes! 👍🏼 Yes, I feel that way quite a bit... I never knew that was an INFJ trait.
Hope you're having a great day! 🙂🌹👍🏼
Wenze
What do u think about synchronicity?
Do u think perhaps InfJ has a certain affinity for it? Like we are more suitable for being in tune with the universe. This has to have substance to it.
Like especially when you are sending out signals, consciously or not, verbally or in another fashion. The universe heeeds the call and we here the universe call for harmony.
Cause if people suck and it's all gonna die eventually.. u need the broken hearted and the people that volunteer and have decided you plant a seed not just for your own nourishment in their time...but for people in the future to have shade as well, long after you have passed.
I don't know if it's in an infjs nature to be natural preachers of philosophy. But it's a way to spread the decent things about life and keep in mind how very special this whole life thing is.
It's uneasy af seeing people be understanding and helping each other. empathy. Feeling the vibes of receiving and sacrificing out of loving intent... Simultaneously.
I will tear up and it's embarrassing but omg the joy is so intense it's not describable
This is actually very ISFP Fi-Ni convergent - well indicative of this pairing. In saying that Wenzes is a cognitive ISFP
wenzes your the coolest person ever. you remind me of greatness.
What's the use of standing up for myself? It isn't my actions that create my world.
That's been proved to me, over and over. And over and over.
Spot on...
Thank you for sharing! ❤️
This comment is just to say, that I am positively surprised, as much as I am mirrored in it.
This video is very supportive to me, and thank you.
This is what makes someone psychic I think.
HFFS. WTF was I thinking???? Simply stated Wenzes :) T!Y! "Put yourself in your shoes." I've been trying to "help" other people understand me and that's almost impossible, wouldn't really know if they did anyway. At this point I can't care (although I do) if someone gets it. My efforts for others have begun to not be helpful to them because now other people are feeling bad for me since I'm worst and they are better off. I've helped people out so much and am not getting mine. I can do it in the right way and it can be good. WOW
You know, you could take a break from us and recharge yourself. We all love you very much.
I'm tired of this persecution, I'm being persecuted by my family and church I feel as if I'm about to explode
So very true and helpful, thank you Wenzes, you are gifted and sharing your gift to others especially the INFJ s ! ❤❤❤
THIS ONE REALLY HITS HOME! oops, didnt realize caps was on. I really appreciate your videos and sharing your relatable perspective!
I delve into situations then stop n think WHAT AM I DOING and have to back out lol am learning 🙃 ✌️✨️
This was too real 🥴 Gotta get my self-love together 🥲❤️
As a kid, I was triggering my father.
Thank you, I needed to hear that 🙏🏾🙏🏾🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧🌧💔
The Info:
Involuntary Impact of an Empath.
Yea...about that🚨
INFJs aren't empaths they're Ni-Ti convergents
Just wanted to say thank you for your videos they help me better myself still not sure if im an infj but ur videos make a whole lot of sense to me I'm not subbed and I dont like videos but just wanted to show my gratitude :) thank you once again
Lol Idk why I said the not subbed part and liking part... came off a little toxic dont take it that way I dont click the like button in general on youtube thats what I meant 😅
Trying to put myself in my shoes for once.. god that is honestly some great advice
I appreciate you immensely, Wensez 💌
Sometimes the fact that I can make people understand stuff or I try to make or help people understand stuff makes me feel like some of the relationships in my life are fake or I'm fake after they finally get it or either they lie like they understand so they dont lose me. Idk.... Just *sighs* .... Sometimes I will be feeling stuck & they dont get it. *sorry but in my head what I'm typing makes sense but maybe not on here*
My Mother's love for oppression over me was DISGARDED AS if it's not her forward MOVING agenda...
A funny anecdote for your pleasure. I keep to myself like the rest of us. Last night I encountered a pair of my neighbors; a couple. He said, "where have you been? I never see you. My wife sees you more than I do". I leaned forward with a smirk and retorted softly, "what, are you jealous?". This is the level of magnetism and charisma we possess. We can take a person's guard down while pushing their joy button. Here's a conversation starter: Is the orange Jesus an INFJ? That's a scary insight if it's true. Stay safe and be well, eh? God bless America. ♥
ISFP as is Wenzes; not being derogatory in the slightest they're a wonderful type
God bless the world.
Oh my gosh, I've watched many of your videos and they have been helpful, but this one resonates with me more than all the others! I need to stop trying to make people understand me!
All the time
Wait, there is a box? Where? LOL. That's what I said to my housemate. They were saying most people could not think outside the box. I gave up trying to be even within earshot of it in my 30's.
In all seriousness though, how others take what I say or do, does not phase me so much in my 50's. I figured out that the reason they get mad is they can't leave the shallow end of the pool. Anything deeper then talk about the weather scares the frick out of them.
So, I use that to my advantage now. I write and make art that turns people on or makes them think of uncomfortable things so they evolve. The only fear I have now is that could become cult like. This is why I am making it so gross and bizarre that nobody else will want to try to relate. Saving the world from magical psychosis, one strange phrase at a time.
Yesssss! Somewhere along the line I shifted that, though.
You are not just a life coach to us. You are a super mom. I have no idea WHERE you find the energy. So, Ive been watching how you rate, and post. I feel like its become tediouse for you. but thats just MY observation.
“Stand in your shoes”😂 i need to try that.
So timely for me.
Wow, I always assumed others could read people like I can. In retrospect I see that was wrong.
That's very much indicative of convergent Fi-Ni; cognitive INFJs are logically not emotionally predictive
@@AnyaAnnika67 Shut up dude
I used to. Not so much anymore
I don't feel like I create feelings in others....
Is it a good idea for an INFJ to date another INFJ or is it likely to just fall into the “friend zone”?
May be it depends on both people involved.as long as ,both people have strong values and skill set,things will work out
Thanks!
You have no idea how much you’ve helped me!!
I see too many people commenting and following channels on TH-cam about INFJ... Aren't we less than 1%?? I doubt that some many of us just suddenly coincide on TH-cam, and we all talk English... I'm not accusing no one of nothing, it's just that I'm afraid that some people may be projecting what they want to be, and If you ask me I would prefer any other kind of personality, this one is the worst one by far.
Anyway, it is good to comprehend oneself but don't linger too much in selfpitty, it eventually transforms in ego, and we know that what really matters it's inside. Take care!
Person: "Just tell me what you're feeling. I'm not a mind reader."
INFJ: **Are you f***ing kidding me? I'm the one being extra cognizant of your body language, dissecting your vocabulary, reading between your lines to uncover your soul, and you can't even return the favor? Maybe if you weren't so self-involved and wrapped up in pointless drama, you'd realize that you don't need to be a mind-reader. You just have to see, really see, the person in front of you.** "Fine."
Definitely indicative of Fi-Ni cognitively speaking. The cognitive INFJ is logically not emotionally predictive.
Amen.
Really needed to hear this!
...It's a fair question!!!
....but, That Space! 😳
I'm in the transition of. I gave, I bleed from my soul on another dimension. All Senses have been Awake since I was born. Mundane can not comprehend.
I am sometimes afraid of from myself and what I am capable of
and I need no violence!
I'm okay with that.
Needed this, thank you🧡❤️
Absolutely brilliant talk! Thank you so much! ❤
Really good teaching
Spot on Wenzes!
this is so helpful
Wow.
Good morning X girl
After 16personality text completed i found I'm infj but i want to change in intj bcz many ,
I don't want feelings in my life anymore