Mistake #1 - I have created so many fantasy relationships in my mind and was completely heartbroken when "reality" showed me how wrong my vision was. This happened for me jn Friendships & boys I liked too. I appreciate Wenzes for reminding us about the "external observable facts". It helps me to keep myself in check "Am I projecting or is this actually happening".
I have been through all ot this situations at some moment. This is what the INFJ reality it's all about and the biggest problem is to align your reality to the real reality. You have to be more people oriented and take this experience as advantage. Don't lose yourself too much in your own world.
My current situation is my employer sees me as nothing despite my accomplishments and what I have done for them. Available 24x7x365 for the last 22 years. Worked 2 levels above my grade level with a good reputation across the whole company. But I am not an engineer or even a college graduate, however once I’ve learned the details of what we are doing I can compete with all of them. I do all the reporting out of an outage management system because I understand the data. I am on several teams because of my knowledge of the system/data and because I tend to see things differently and offer different solutions than what they all come up with. Management/supervisory people here do not get OT but they have made exceptions to people all around me and this past year promoted my two engineers to the same grade level as me and pay them OT. They just came out with an early retirement incentive program and offered it to all the engineers my grade level and above in our field offices plus two managers in my office. They skipped me. It’s time to terminate this relationship. There is nothing I can do to earn the respect I deserve.
Wenzes have you ever participated in psychology, sociology, and emotional & mental health counseling for your INFJ issues? I had never heard of INFJ before I heard it from you, and now I know I am one of them. My father traumatized me instead of respecting me and loving me unconditionally. He was the opinion leader in our family, and my mother and siblings followed his lead. This was and is a multiple generational pattern Maternally and Paternally in my family.
the first mistake , omg it hit really hard 💔i think my "grandiose" mind interpreted things in a way that kicked me back in the face so brutally , it clouded my sight of the reality in front of me , i was so caught up in this fantasy inside my mind , that me and that person have this unique this spirutual deep unique connexion between us , that he valued me as much as i valued me , and what i represent to him is the same as he represented to me , by the end that person ghosted me , and not ONCE ! but four times it makes me feel ashamed that i allowed that to happen , really, and i aknowledge what kind of image of myself it reflect , like how little self love you must have ? wheres ur dignity at ? u dropped it somewhere ? , yeah but u guys know better than me , y'all have that person , that exception u dont apply ur rule on them , i swear if it was someone else he would ve been out of my life since the first , but when he apologized and told me it will never happen i believed it , but it happened again nd again , so i wasnt the exception of my exception , unfortunatly , my mind screw me over , i believed BS i told myself , but at least now im coming to this realisation , that this person doesnt see things like i see them , that i should do those changes in me , and move on
That FIRST ONE!!! Just realized this past week i was doing this. Was so embarrassed when i realized that ppl cld see that i thought i was special and viewed me as being full of myself! Just this aspect of myself alone has caused me sooooo many relationship and life problems. Im glad to know this is an INFJ trait. I feel a little less shame now. I think also this may be why we are attracted to narcissist. The narc reflects our grandiosity in their narcissistic arrogance and their flattery feeds our inner vision of ourselves. Im focusing on creating a more internal locus of focus and power over external locus. It is an effort but im comitted. And that reality vs vision issue. Omg! Letting go of that inner idea of how we think the world works when we discover it doesnt work that way our whole world comes crashing down! And the 3rd one as well. Im learning to move through the comparison and letting myself go up and down emotionally on my vocation journey. Im using the journey for growth instead. It's been tough because my ego and pride gets in the way. Thank you so much, Wenzes😭😭😍😍❤❤
Nope , I got chosen to be a lead actress in a film & I could not accept I was anything but ordinary. I went back to medical profession. Studied hard to become a psychiatrist . I valued psychiatry more than the fame / money movies would bring. I knew it would lead to " me too" . But I always knew my Ni Ti loop was special. My idealism & tenacity in its pursuit was special. It still is :-)
I wasn't able to relate to this subject. Good old NI gave me the answer after a while. The way to avoid thinking you are smarter than everyone else is to be born to two alcoholic parents. Then your problem becomes: How can I ever learn to do anything right, and not be wrong all the time? and thereby cause my parents' lives to be ruined by my constant mistakes. That is a whole different ball game from the "normal" route of having non-toxic people in charge of filling your belief system with non-poisonous messages. I found my way out of this trap eventually, but there was this additional handicap to overcome. I was surprised to be confused and unable to relate to this subject matter. Wenzes does a great job of presenting INFJ information in her videos, so I felt puzzled when it didn't seem to be working.
This might not make a lot of sense to a lot of people but for the most part of my life and due to childhood traumas, I did not even know who I was, which means that anchor was the external world. Needless to say that my life did not work out for the most part. Now even today, in spite of all the improvements I've made about myself, I am still relying too much on the external - for instance so many few people subscribed on my channel - to value my work. Not that I don't know the worth of my work but it is definitively bugging me a great deal to the point that it makes me feel invisible because well I am. lol This above being said, I'm not ready to appear on camera - because of what was done to me - nor my aim is not to make the best professional videos out there (make professional videos is not my passion, research is and more precisely, pursuing the truth that helps me and I share do that it rarely but sometimes help others) so I will have to accept that I get like 1 sub for 1 video until I do something else because of what you already explained in your videos. Thank you for your hard work of love. p.s. The reality is that I became ill enough before understanding in what world/reality I was living in. So it is not that easy to get out of that being between a rock and a hard place. This was indeed a hard comment to write for me.
Dear Wenzes, due to Covid situation, due to long work hours, I was not able to watch your videos for a very long time. I am so happy to hear that you got married and now you had your baby. Congratulations 🎉🎊 I feel so happy for you. You deserve good things. You touched so many people's lifes and you helped so many people. God bless you and your baby. Lots of love 💕 💐🍀🧿 Irmak.
This is the most 100% quality-driven content in youtube I've ever seen, atleast for an INFJ. I'm still having second thoughts if I really am one, but all of them are completely relatable and something I need now. Thanks a lot!
Which of the 5 "mistakes" can you relate most to ? Mistake # 1 "Expecting people to know that I am something special". It's easy to know that everybody puts their pants on the same way, one leg at a time, and we are all imperfect humans. What is not easy for me is, to get people to listen to me and realize that the way they are doing things is not the best method when I am sharing a better idea with them. Being helpful to prideful people is not easy, so I have begun letting go, and allow them learn on their own rather than to exhaust myself with the frustration of trying to convince them otherwise. I hope this works better because I don't like conflict.
I'm still on my path to my epic life. I have had to step back and get other things done that have came up, but this things are very important and very much needed to be done. I've moved to a new town away from the emotionally draining people who were in my life. I am on my way to a much better life.
I definitely want to be seen as special but I also want to establish it with people first. If someone thinks I’m special right out of the gate, I’m suspicious of what they are projecting onto me and how quickly that will dissolve. So I actually think I should have to ‘prove it’ and I know I can prove it.
Literally I have done all those mistakes in my life thanks for video its really great specially that messaging celebrity thing because I have also done that in my past you really are a great mentor
Thank you once again for your videos. I have been binging them since I found your page. You have a unique way of explaining things to humble and empower me in a way that is practical and healing. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.
Thank you, you are a life-saver for us INFJ. Im starting to realize the first and second point in my life. My life was hard because I didnt know that. Im at the transitional stage of my life, and this video is really what i need. Thank you so much !
"If I can't compete with the overnight success why even try" ouch. that's like a slap in the face with a half frozen wet rag. yeah, I'm guilty of this.. never saw it in that light though.. feeling a little stupid right now 🤣
I have ideas for inventions. and one idea I have is life changing. I see an old person struggling and figure a way to stop that struggle through innovation. I'm trying to learn more about my self to be successful but that might be keeping me in my owe mind.
4th point probably got me bit more. Others almost accepted those things . And thank u for this hope we can implement those steps. I am not much in my head so that might have helped but i cannot take action for few more months.
Dang this means I should stop playing videogames 24/7 as they're my "television" as you described. Well I kinda already knew that, I just haven't gone through making it happen yet.
I always find myself saving women. Sometimes they run past other guys & run straight to me. I don't know why I do this, but I know I'm good at it. I even went as far as risking my life on a few. It's not like I'm out looking for trouble, it just happens right in front of me.
The more difficult thing is to write to a young person knowing that inevitably they will become a celebrity whatever that means and to have them write back, and later to become a celebrity. Seeing that light, that spark, it's what talent agents are capable of but in this case the real talent is their personality in spite of becoming that celebrity. Then as they grow as a person they are able to respond to you in spite of you being kind of a fanboy because they kind of do know you and they really are nice and in the end just a pretty normal person who just entertains and gets fun out of doing that.
I think it's a bit complimentary: like being touch out of reality and not being able to do a lot of work, so doing specific things will helps us get where we wanted. And I would add: A) being patient to our conditión. B) know thyself: patterns, triggers, obstacles and of course, ours strengths. Design your intervention, aka, how you can tackle and take advantage to what u do day to day. C) search 4 neurodivergent tips and apps.
Escape! In your opinion how many hours a day is not damaging growth? Do tell please. Maybe ill google it. Oh. About 2 to 3 1/2 hours a day. Got it! I do get myself going on an art project but my effective ness with little breaks tops out at 6 hours and better even if i limit to two hours with long break and return. Oth3rwise all there is is reading, chores ….a lot of chores! Too many chores is taking the pleasure out of life. Now i even think of cooking as a chore. 69. What growth? Ha ha. You all go for it
Which of the 5 "mistakes" can you relate most to?
Mistake #1 - I have created so many fantasy relationships in my mind and was completely heartbroken when "reality" showed me how wrong my vision was. This happened for me jn Friendships & boys I liked too. I appreciate Wenzes for reminding us about the "external observable facts". It helps me to keep myself in check "Am I projecting or is this actually happening".
👏👏👏
I have been through all ot this situations at some moment. This is what the INFJ reality it's all about and the biggest problem is to align your reality to the real reality. You have to be more people oriented and take this experience as advantage. Don't lose yourself too much in your own world.
ALL of the mistakes I can relate to, lol. Great video - very insightful. Keep up the good work 👍
Comparing myself to always end up depreciating my work of love.
"We have to fail and we have to fail fast" (such an INFJ thing to say!). Very true!
😉👍
“They don’t know the strength it took to become the person I am” was apparently something I truly needed to hear, thank you!
Im scared to show my greatness - because I don't want to make the others feel smaller. 🙃
stop a cup, you dont belive you have what is take, how I know bcoz I am the person who hear all the lies I told. what you really want do it!!!
For me, as INFJ, the best way is live a life without any expectations at all. Then you wont be dissapointed.
I wrote two different celebrities when I was younger, imagining the connection I really needed. You’re not alone :)
"once we are grounded, we can picks ourselves up" yep, i'm exactly in this process. Thank you so much Wenzes!
☺️😉👍
My current situation is my employer sees me as nothing despite my accomplishments and what I have done for them. Available 24x7x365 for the last 22 years. Worked 2 levels above my grade level with a good reputation across the whole company. But I am not an engineer or even a college graduate, however once I’ve learned the details of what we are doing I can compete with all of them. I do all the reporting out of an outage management system because I understand the data. I am on several teams because of my knowledge of the system/data and because I tend to see things differently and offer different solutions than what they all come up with.
Management/supervisory people here do not get OT but they have made exceptions to people all around me and this past year promoted my two engineers to the same grade level as me and pay them OT. They just came out with an early retirement incentive program and offered it to all the engineers my grade level and above in our field offices plus two managers in my office. They skipped me. It’s time to terminate this relationship. There is nothing I can do to earn the respect I deserve.
Have you ever considered starting your own business?
This is so much better advice than anyone else has said to me which basically consists of " you're just overreacting, get over it."
Wenzes have you ever participated in psychology, sociology, and emotional & mental health counseling for your INFJ issues? I had never heard of INFJ before I heard it from you, and now I know I am one of them. My father traumatized me instead of respecting me and loving me unconditionally. He was the opinion leader in our family, and my mother and siblings followed his lead. This was and is a multiple generational pattern Maternally and Paternally in my family.
the first mistake , omg it hit really hard 💔i think my "grandiose" mind interpreted things in a way that kicked me back in the face so brutally , it clouded my sight of the reality in front of me , i was so caught up in this fantasy inside my mind , that me and that person have this unique this spirutual deep unique connexion between us , that he valued me as much as i valued me , and what i represent to him is the same as he represented to me , by the end that person ghosted me , and not ONCE ! but four times it makes me feel ashamed that i allowed that to happen , really, and i aknowledge what kind of image of myself it reflect , like how little self love you must have ? wheres ur dignity at ? u dropped it somewhere ? , yeah but u guys know better than me , y'all have that person , that exception u dont apply ur rule on them , i swear if it was someone else he would ve been out of my life since the first , but when he apologized and told me it will never happen i believed it , but it happened again nd again , so i wasnt the exception of my exception , unfortunatly , my mind screw me over , i believed BS i told myself , but at least now im coming to this realisation , that this person doesnt see things like i see them , that i should do those changes in me , and move on
That FIRST ONE!!! Just realized this past week i was doing this. Was so embarrassed when i realized that ppl cld see that i thought i was special and viewed me as being full of myself! Just this aspect of myself alone has caused me sooooo many relationship and life problems. Im glad to know this is an INFJ trait. I feel a little less shame now. I think also this may be why we are attracted to narcissist. The narc reflects our grandiosity in their narcissistic arrogance and their flattery feeds our inner vision of ourselves. Im focusing on creating a more internal locus of focus and power over external locus. It is an effort but im comitted.
And that reality vs vision issue. Omg! Letting go of that inner idea of how we think the world works when we discover it doesnt work that way our whole world comes crashing down!
And the 3rd one as well. Im learning to move through the comparison and letting myself go up and down emotionally on my vocation journey. Im using the journey for growth instead. It's been tough because my ego and pride gets in the way. Thank you so much, Wenzes😭😭😍😍❤❤
Watching Mr Sam lately? :)
Nope , I got chosen to be a lead actress in a film & I could not accept I was anything but ordinary. I went back to medical profession. Studied hard to become a psychiatrist . I valued psychiatry more than the fame / money movies would bring. I knew it would lead to " me too" . But I always knew my Ni Ti loop was special. My idealism & tenacity in its pursuit was special. It still is :-)
I wasn't able to relate to this subject. Good old NI gave me the answer after a while. The way to avoid thinking you are smarter than everyone else is to be born to two alcoholic parents. Then your problem becomes: How can I ever learn to do anything right, and not be wrong all the time? and thereby cause my parents' lives to be ruined by my constant mistakes. That is a whole different ball game from the "normal" route of having non-toxic people in charge of filling your belief system with non-poisonous messages.
I found my way out of this trap eventually, but there was this additional handicap to overcome. I was surprised to be confused and unable to relate to this subject matter. Wenzes does a great job of presenting INFJ information in her videos, so I felt puzzled when it didn't seem to be working.
This might not make a lot of sense to a lot of people but for the most part of my life and due to childhood traumas, I did not even know who I was, which means that anchor was the external world. Needless to say that my life did not work out for the most part.
Now even today, in spite of all the improvements I've made about myself, I am still relying too much on the external - for instance so many few people subscribed on my channel - to value my work. Not that I don't know the worth of my work but it is definitively bugging me a great deal to the point that it makes me feel invisible because well I am. lol
This above being said, I'm not ready to appear on camera - because of what was done to me - nor my aim is not to make the best professional videos out there (make professional videos is not my passion, research is and more precisely, pursuing the truth that helps me and I share do that it rarely but sometimes help others) so I will have to accept that I get like 1 sub for 1 video until I do something else because of what you already explained in your videos.
Thank you for your hard work of love.
p.s. The reality is that I became ill enough before understanding in what world/reality I was living in. So it is not that easy to get out of that being between a rock and a hard place. This was indeed a hard comment to write for me.
Dear Wenzes, due to Covid situation, due to long work hours, I was not able to watch your videos for a very long time. I am so happy to hear that you got married and now you had your baby. Congratulations 🎉🎊 I feel so happy for you. You deserve good things. You touched so many people's lifes and you helped so many people. God bless you and your baby. Lots of love 💕 💐🍀🧿 Irmak.
This is the most 100% quality-driven content in youtube I've ever seen, atleast for an INFJ. I'm still having second thoughts if I really am one, but all of them are completely relatable and something I need now. Thanks a lot!
"We have to fail and we have to fail fast" damn that one hits deep
I’m so grateful that i came across your videos . These are half of my life’s life advice . Hope to see you grow more .
You speak truth. Incredible work and service you’re doing Wenzes. Thank you 🥺
Glad it resonates with you 😊
Which of the 5 "mistakes" can you relate most to ? Mistake # 1 "Expecting people to know that I am something special". It's easy to know that everybody puts their pants on the same way, one leg at a time, and we are all imperfect humans. What is not easy for me is, to get people to listen to me and realize that the way they are doing things is not the best method when I am sharing a better idea with them. Being helpful to prideful people is not easy, so I have begun letting go, and allow them learn on their own rather than to exhaust myself with the frustration of trying to convince them otherwise. I hope this works better because I don't like conflict.
You got this. Step by step!!!
I'm still on my path to my epic life. I have had to step back and get other things done that have came up, but this things are very important and very much needed to be done. I've moved to a new town away from the emotionally draining people who were in my life. I am on my way to a much better life.
I definitely want to be seen as special but I also want to establish it with people first. If someone thinks I’m special right out of the gate, I’m suspicious of what they are projecting onto me and how quickly that will dissolve. So I actually think I should have to ‘prove it’ and I know I can prove it.
Can you please summarize it in the end? I like to take notes too. Thank you so much for helping us with your work.
Literally I have done all those mistakes in my life thanks for video its really great specially that messaging celebrity thing because I have also done that in my past you really are a great mentor
👍👍👍😊
By listening to this make me cry cuz I am an infj
Your videos have been a tremendous help! Thanks a lot.
Thank you once again for your videos. I have been binging them since I found your page. You have a unique way of explaining things to humble and empower me in a way that is practical and healing. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.
Thank you, you are a life-saver for us INFJ. Im starting to realize the first and second point in my life. My life was hard because I didnt know that. Im at the transitional stage of my life, and this video is really what i need. Thank you so much !
Al hamde li Allah. الحمد لله
Thank you for making my Sunday enlightened miss Wenzes. :D. I am appreciative you were born.
😊😊😊
Aww thats such a cute thing to say :)
I agree!😊
"If I can't compete with the overnight success why even try" ouch. that's like a slap in the face with a half frozen wet rag. yeah, I'm guilty of this.. never saw it in that light though.. feeling a little stupid right now 🤣
I have ideas for inventions. and one idea I have is life changing. I see an old person struggling and figure a way to stop that struggle through innovation. I'm trying to learn more about my self to be successful but that might be keeping me in my owe mind.
4th point probably got me bit more. Others almost accepted those things . And thank u for this hope we can implement those steps. I am not much in my head so that might have helped but i cannot take action for few more months.
Lessons not learned will be repeated! - Life
11:50 another incredible insight
damn. this was a hard slap in the face;-;
Don‘t take it that way ☺️...we are all making them
Hey from cutting off wrong things to the growth! Let's go!
How is this so relatable 😂🙈
Dang this means I should stop playing videogames 24/7 as they're my "television" as you described. Well I kinda already knew that, I just haven't gone through making it happen yet.
I always find myself saving women. Sometimes they run past other guys & run straight to me. I don't know why I do this, but I know I'm good at it. I even went as far as risking my life on a few. It's not like I'm out looking for trouble, it just happens right in front of me.
Haha I wrote a few celebrities to change their own ways lmao and I believe it worked bc I’ve seen them change for the better
Takes one to know one.. to recognize somebodys genius, you have to be on similar level.. and everybody knows how "the average" looks like :)
You are an INFJ healer. 🖤
Thank you Wenzes, you are really changing my life
Thanks!
Great video Wenzes. Thank you!
This is so good! Thank you!
Powerful message. Thank you.
Thanks very much for giving me clearity
Thanks!
Thank you so much for these words! You are 100% right about EVERYTHING. You are a true blessing ✨✨✨
So wonderfully helpful. Thank U
Always on point!
Thank you so much for this video!!!
Thanks alot for the suggestions. I was lost for the time being now I have a roadmap.
Very good
Stuck on stupid is in my way. 😡 🤭🙏😇🤭
You are amazing! Wenzes
Very good points
Yeah... This one hit home... 😞
Thank you.
Mistake #4 .... I'm currently in it
Thank you Wenzes 🙏🙏
I started to do the same thing with celebrities 😂
greate video Wenzes
btw Wenzes, sometimes you should just pause the video to take a look to your grimace :D
The more difficult thing is to write to a young person knowing that inevitably they will become a celebrity whatever that means and to have them write back, and later to become a celebrity. Seeing that light, that spark, it's what talent agents are capable of but in this case the real talent is their personality in spite of becoming that celebrity. Then as they grow as a person they are able to respond to you in spite of you being kind of a fanboy because they kind of do know you and they really are nice and in the end just a pretty normal person who just entertains and gets fun out of doing that.
👍😊
I’m pushing 50. Was diagnosed with ADD (not physically hyperactive) about +/-30 years ago. How might that fit in?
I think it's a bit complimentary: like being touch out of reality and not being able to do a lot of work, so doing specific things will helps us get where we wanted. And I would add:
A) being patient to our conditión.
B) know thyself: patterns, triggers, obstacles and of course, ours strengths. Design your intervention, aka, how you can tackle and take advantage to what u do day to day.
C) search 4 neurodivergent tips and apps.
Escape! In your opinion how many hours a day is not damaging growth? Do tell please. Maybe ill google it. Oh. About 2 to 3 1/2 hours a day. Got it! I do get myself going on an art project but my effective ness with little breaks tops out at 6 hours and better even if i limit to two hours with long break and return. Oth3rwise all there is is reading, chores ….a lot of chores! Too many chores is taking the pleasure out of life. Now i even think of cooking as a chore. 69. What growth? Ha ha. You all go for it
#RealityCheck thank you
"this is how doing a shitty job made me a millionaire"
Shiners hey?
🙈
😎