7 Deadly Romance MISTAKES Writers Make ❌ avoid these chemistry killers!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
- Are you struggling to write romantic chemistry that feels believable and realistic and makes your readers fall head over heels in love? Do you feel like your characters are missing that magic spark that makes them insanely shippable? In this video, I’m revealing the top 7 deadly mistakes that will instantly kill the romantic tension between your characters. So if you're guilty of committing any of these chemistry crimes... STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
Take your romantic chemistry to the next level with my live training: www.learnfromabbie.com/p/live-trainings-signup
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✨C H A P T E R S✨
00:00 Do your characters have good chemistry?
02:08 They don't have enough alone time together
03:55 They fall in love too quickly
06:03 They tease each other about other love interests
07:46 They never touch
09:12 Want to take your romantic chemistry to the next level?
10:44 They get sick of each other after a while
11:58 They don't challenge each other's weaknesses
13:51 They have chemistry with someone else
15:49 Watch my live training on romantic chemistry!
16:12 Subscribe for weekly writing videos :)
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The worst romantic tension killer for me is when the MC goes on and on about how hot the Love Interest is. Like sure, he's hot, but what other good qualities does he have?
They're usually effing assholes, but it doesn't matter because they have a six pack. GROAN. I hate this
Ugh hate that
Trying to make absolutely sure my OTP OCs think more about things other than "oh my goodness they're so hot, cute, etc" like "he's so supportive" and "she's so talented"
Teenager types often care about looks more, or they get fooled by 'the bad boy' who has more confidence than he should.
So, it makes perfect sense that some types care greatly about that.
@@PaigeTheCartoonCaptain that's way more interesting! I don't mind a few phrases like "He looked handsome there standing in the sunlight." But when they start talking about abs, and tight jeans and other body parts, I just glaze over. A superficial MC is a boring MC, in my opinion.
@@racheltheradiant4675 thank you!
They do both think the other one is attractive but it's not what they think about the most.
1- Never or rarely have time alone together
3- They fall in love to quickly
3- Tease each other about other potencial love interest
4- They never touch
5- They get sick of each other after a while
6- They don’t challengers each other faults and weaknesses
7- They have romantic chemistry with other’s characters
💜🙏🏾 a real one
And the bonus one: one poor sonnet 😄
#1--there could be a plot reason for this or any other of the characteristics, particularly in dystopian tales. If there's not, though, yes, mistakes were made.
7) What about a love triangle?
@@x-mighty7602 Reader demographic decides, I guess. Women readers only want one man love interest, while men readers like to have many female options, maybe?
Hot take: being sick of each other is completely normal and can actually strengthen a relationship. It provides another hurdle to move past. I did not immediately love everything about how my husband lived his life and there were times where little stuff he did made me upset or annoyed. And vice versa, spend TOO long with someone and you eventually find SOMETHING you don’t agree or like about one another. BUT you can absolutely use this as a plot device and strengthen their bond by having them fight and then compromise, just like what happens in real life. Real love takes WORK and gets easier with time. Been with him 9 years now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and he is my muse ❤
Oh wise one, show us, show us the way…write a book like this!😁
I think that what you're saying relates to her point of having conflict to make the chemistry grow. If they are sick of each other for no reason, just because they have been spending a little too much time together, that kills romantic chemistry. But if there is a conflict, of course they're going to be sick of each other- but they can solve that conflict and grow together.
There is a difference between what may work in real life and what works in a romance book. What readers are looking for in romance often is a form of escapism. No offence but I don't want to read a book about a couple who work through a guy's tendency to take his gf for granted and relies on weaponized incompetence to get out of doing chores or something. Sure it's VERY realistic, but damn, where's the fun? Not all conflicts are created equals, when you're reading fiction. Some will make you want to help characters grow, and some will make you wish they die sooner than later. You have to be very careful with the amount of realism you put in a romance. If the readers start hating a character, it's over.
@@blumeshullman8002 okay I agree, what I’m talking about is a very fine line where the conflict between two love interests is each other sometimes. Ex: Stranded together is a very popular trope and I’m saying that it might be fine at first if a couple has shown interest in each other but as time goes on the get sick of each other until they realize this fight is petty, they love each other and need to work together to get un-stranded. Perhaps girl gets sick of a reaction to something she says a lot, and it turns out boys’ sister used to say the same thing before she betrayed their family, so now he resents it. They dismantle that not everyone who does that is bad and they grow and move on, having learned more about each others pasts in the process. It wouldn’t be fun if they just are puppy-love all the time, or the ONLY conflict is external forces. I’m not saying you have to include “being sick of each other” in your romance, but for me, it can be a tool, just like any other conflict.
I don't like reading that personally. To me, reality is for the day to day- it doesn't belong on my bookshelf.
Fights are great but nitpicking after spending "too much time together" turns me all the way off in books.
One thing that kills romance for me is when they fall madly in love and have nothing in common. Theres absolutely no reason why they should fall in love yet they are suddenly in love. There has to be a connection between the two people in order for their romance to withstand the stories conflict. Another thing that kills me is when one character does something truly messed up to the other character and it’s forgiven in the end because they are SO in love. That’s an instant killer for me
Some people are very impulsive, low impulse control.
I even knew a husband and wife who got married very quickly and are the rare couple who are actually a good match.
This is almost going to happen in my book, a young, eager officer will wish he had chemistry with my tough-as-nails female starship captain, but his confession of true love will only make her furious. Then, he'll complicate the plot by running away to prove himself with brave deeds.
I agree! And with your first statement, its 100%worst when the only connection is that they both love a child they are caring for. This can work, but not if the child is they only thing the couple has in common, it's ridiculous
@@Daughter-of-Adam-and-EveTbh I like the child thing but as a way of how they were brought together
@@LeviathantheMightyyeah, a rare exception probably, because I don’t know any couple that did what you comment. Every couple I know actually took time to be together together. And they are fine. But what you say, I never saw.
The worst mistake for me in writing romantic chemistry is sacrificing authenticity for the sake of plot convenience or adhering to romantic tropes without adding depth or originality to the relationship
I am currently working on a grimdark/ dark fantasy book featuring a romance subplot, how should I do it in this specific genre?
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well Abby may be better suited to respond than me personally lol. But I suggest incorporating a romance subplot into your story by crafting complex, multi-dimensional characters with morally gray motivations (what works for me best personally) Make sure to build the romance gradually, introducing obstacles and conflicts that challenge the relationship, while utilizing the atmosphere to enhance emotional depth. Avoid clichés also, balance the subplot with the main plot, and aim for a realistic resolution that resonates with readers. Focus on themes of love, sacrifice, trust, and redemption to add depth and intensity to the romantic relationship within the broader narrative.
These are just a few things that come to mind
@@KGBeast. my book is a retelling of The Lion King
In addition, I borrow elements from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which features Titania and Oberon, the queen and king of the fairies respectively
Late into the book, I feature a somewhat explicit lovemaking scene, followed by my female protagonist murdering her love interest due to her inner corruption and trauma, pushed to doing it by a malevolent magic sword
@@unicorntomboy9736 Ok that sounds interesting not gonna lie, interested to see how you go about reworking the themes and ideas of the original story into those of your own
Thank you. I’m currently working with an indie team as an editor for a game jam and that is one gripe I have with it. I don’t get it. There’s 5 writers and me and only 1 writer and myself want genuine relationships it feels like between the characters.
Everyone else just wants them to kiss or flirt.
To me it really is boring, pointless. I don’t feel anything at all unless there’s a genuine meaningful connection.
When a character is obsessed with the idea of love itself and notion of being in love, I become dubious and sceptical of their love interests... as it's less about the chemistry and more about the character's own erotomania. That's one of the reasons why Elizabeth Bennet is so great: she establishes her credentials as grounded, clear-headed and self-aware so that as the love develops we can trust that she's not just a fantasist.
It's ironic that, at least as far my tastes go, writers who are obsessed with love must write characters that aren't in order to convey a powerful love story.
you know, this comment helped me realize why a lot of people didn't like one of the romances in a show I liked when I did like it. I personally liked that romance, but that WAS a trait of one of the characters. I didn't even realize this was a thing so thanks 👍
I love this! I also like when there’s a specific reason why characters fall in love because it conveys that they wouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. For example, in my favorite musical Hadestown, Eurydice falls in love with Orpheus because his unwavering faith and optimism make her feel supported, safe, and hopeful. Nobody else could’ve done that for her. It makes it so much more tragic then when he betrays her trust and sends her back to the underworld, because we know she’s never finding that feeling of safety again with anyone else.
@@artific3r_ I'm glad it was useful! Out of interest, what was the character/show in question if you don't mind me asking?
Abbie your candles near your books are STRESSIN' ME OUT haha
Ikr 😅😅😅😅
Same lol
What kills the romantic ship for me is usually when one person does most of the work in the relationship when the other simply doesn't invest as much thoughts or just stupid and never grows. I think it just won't work when two people develops at different pace, most of the time I started rooting for the one with most growth to move on and find better pair/be alone.
Same!
I feel like if you love someone, you invest something into the relationship and don't let your partner do all the work in it. I always hate these kinds of relationships depicted in fictional work, it always makes me root for the one who doesn't do anything to just get dumped in the meanest way possible. Especially if they play prince/princess demandy-pants who's hard to impress and the other one has to win them over and proof their worthiness or some stupid sh*t. Just no.
So basically every romance written by man lol😂 and male MC always the person who "doesn't invest anything" while girl or girls are dancing around him in all ways possible 😭
@@olyabutorina6869Shonen anime be like, specially written by a dude; weird cases were the romance its actually well work it turns out the mangaka was a woman (like Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist)
@@olyabutorina6869interestingly, in my experience the character who gives it all in the relationships I’ve read/seen is the man. The woman in some romances for some reason expects to be treated like a princess yet gives hardly any interest in loving the man. It’s so strange to me. It’s like they loved being loved rather than loving the actual man. But that might just be bad luck with the dynamics I’ve read unfortunately!
"When they tease ease other about other love interests" - that can set up a fun twist. Character A is convinced that B couldn't possibly love them so A tries to set them up with C because C is "far more worthy" of B. B mistakes the attempted matchmaking as A being disinterested and tries to settle for C despite loving A.
Character A sounds a lot like Takeo from My Love Story.
Poor C :'(
@@alicedodobirb2808don’t worry, C’s actually in love with D and they end up together in the end ❤
This is literally the anime, Toradora! lol
I mean, yeah, it sounds good. I think she meant that it overshadows the whole thing so much that it gets boring and begins to annoy people.
In Chinese Historical Fantasy novels, there is a deliberate thing, called Second Male Lead Syndrome. It's on purpose. It's when the secondary male is so good with the Female Lead, that you wish they would ditch the actual Male Lead for the secondary. If you ever want to rant about a girl being with the wrong guy, read the Chinese novel Chaos of Beauty. I swear it was those interactions with the Secondary ML that kept me turning the pages. I hated, and still hate the Male Lead. However, I will say if you write a better love interest you only have two ways to go, messy divorce to be with the other person, or terrible tragedy.
So, while I agree with most of the advice, sometimes that secondary character being better has plot potential. At the very least if you break your reader's hearts and crush their 'ship' they will remember your novel for years to come.
I agree, but this method is risky. People might see it as trash and a waste of time
@user-zn2ei4vs6m It can be tricky, and admittedly, I see it play out more in high drama. It probably wouldn't work for sweet fluffy romance.
Experienced that with a certain Kdrama and was crushed. Oh my goodness everyone in my family loved the male lead and hated the second male lead I wanted to stab someone.
The first guy: Boring, the senior, took her on a date that was only about things he liked, no flaws or character development, only good thing he did was jump in front of a knife that was aimed at the MC
The second male lead: Took her on a date about things she liked, googled up how to impress a date cuz he was nervous, joined a club because of her, befriended her brother and they became absolute besties and he helped him a lot, learned what it was like to fall in love and care about someone other than himself
Thanks this is so interesting and makes me think of 😱 teams Edward and Jacob
I'm writing a young, eager male character who wishes he was the second male lead, instead my tough-as-nails female starship captain will have a friends-with-benefits situation with an exotic alien leading his oppressed people to a new planet. The eager guy will complicate the epic journey by running off to prove himself with brave deeds...
Fullmetal Alchemist has possibly the most impressive romances I have seen. Because I am a shipper, I am a navy captain over my fleet of ships. But FMA makes me root for every single one of the canon ships, and I don't root for any other ship. I usually think the love interest is more interesting with one of the side characters, but FMA just manages it, I don't know how.
I think it's the fact that the characters have respect and a deep understanding of each other. 💕
shippers are the reason why I do not engage with fandom of most series/books. Their ships are ridiculous, often going against author's original plot and they are more often than not just insanely stupid and unrelatable. It's like putting random fabrics together and insisting they work together, because you've decided to dismiss 99% character traits of the given character for the ship's sake. :/
Huge nope.
@@marikothecheetah9342 But they're so cute! In all seriousness, I can understand where you're coming from to some degree. One of the reasons I don't like the anime Fairy Tail anymore is because of the shipping. The author either wants to appease or torment all of the shippers so he keeps throwing bait to multiple ships just to keep the ship wars alive. It made the characters feel inconsistent and like they had little will of their own.
Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great.
@@missedthebandwagon976 "Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great." 'fun imagining two characters? Are they their characters? if they want they can write/draw their own characters and ship them to their hearts' content. But it pisses me off that I can't enjoy watching anime, because people no longer care about the story, but they care about ships and ignore everything about characters, including their sexual orientation. :/
If I published anything and saw ANY shipping of my characters that I don't like as an author - I'd sue the asses of those fans like there's no freaking tomorrow. I'd rather have 1 fan that respects my work, than somebody who feels that they can take my hard work and characters I created and treat them like their own. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 honestly, I think your opinion kills the magic of stories just as much as over shipping does. The beauty of stories is that you're engrossed in what happens, you get invested, you imagine. The most imaginative of us will picture out scenarios in their minds, they will get their own interpretation of the story. Just because people have an interpretation of your work that isn't the same as what you envisioned doesn't mean it's wrong. Now, if they started making fanfictions of your work, you could sue them, but I don't see why. It's basically free advertisement. Unless they're young teens, fanfic writers give credits to the source material and often respect the original creator.
You do you, after all, but I think that depending on your audience, all this fan work could be good. People aren't necessarily treating characters as their own, in the sense that they give credits. They simply extrapolate on those characters and imagine stories too that they share. They don't get any money out of it, so I don't see the problem.
The problem with toxic Fandoms is simply that the audience is full of brain dead people. Instead of paying tribute to the original work by nicely imagining stories, they with for their fantasies to actually be real, and it clashes with the fantasy of other people in the Fandom, and it gets annoying.
Just make sure your audience isn't like My Hero Academia's, and honestly you're good, the fan work will be alright. If not, good luck.
(also, not saying there's nothing wrong with shipping. There's also a problem with people sometimes paying more attention with sexualising and thinking about which character to ship with who than on the actual story, and it's annoying as all hell. Some characters are pretty much aroace but still shipped. But for a long while, people headcanonned characters as queer to feel represented. I understand this part of your argument, but it's more nuanced to me than it is to you.)
One thing in my opinion that kills a ship is they fight waaay to much. Sure, disagreements is important when writing ships. BUT it only works if the characters WORK through the conflict. Arguments in fictional ships build chemistry BUT only to a certain point. When you have two characters arguing and having an on and off relationship it becomes toxic and not fun to watch or read about.
I would also add just make them enjoy each others company in non-romantic ways. When the author shows the two love interests just having fun with each other doing something thats not romantic, it solidifies that they are truly well placed.
Like if they share a passion for investigation and do it together. Or maybe they are both mages and work together to make their magic stronger. Idk, hopefully that makes sense.
My thing is when a character DELIBERATELY destroys something/someone the other character loves just to see them suffer. Maybe it's bc I hold grudges, but it's just sickening to me. Not only is it insanely hard to redeem that character later on, but it's hard to see the two together without viewing the scene under a veil of toxicity. If it's on accident? Yes. Give me all the angst.
Yeah. Honestly, even when it’s an accident, unless it’s properly addressed, I’d still be mad. I hate it when things are just swept under the rug because someone says sorry or feels bad. Clearly they don’t need to somehow undo it or fix things completely, but there still needs to be a proper attempt to make things right.
IKRR My biggest pet peeve on romance, even fanfics, makes me abandon immediately it's when they just make the love interest IMPOSSIBLE to redeem. By starters, i never forget so that's just me, I'm a believer that there are some things where even if I forgive, we just can't go back. When they cheat, or even do something they know will hurt the MC i just can't, and even worst when it's done poorly, used for shock value or stretching the story or forced to create conflict and gives you this unsatisfation. An example of this is every Colleen Hoover ever.
Massive agree on "it's insanely hard to redeem that character later on."
Dynamics like that *can* work, but it can *only* work if the author puts in the effort to, and is willing to handle the slow-burn with tact.
Rushing it just leaves the toxic/abusive taste in any reader's mouth.
But giving it the time it needs for the asshole character to not only realize how much they screwed up, but make amends and change as best they can, and *earn* that other character's love and trust again? Chef's kiss.
Redemption without introspection and growth is just a shiny "good job" sticker slapped on, nothing more.
@@izzy1356 YOU GET IT TY 🙏
You are right, but I'd like to add that the opposite can make the romance much sweeter. By that, I mean when something important one of the characters had was destroyed, so the other character makes something themselves to replace it. Even better if this thing reflects some of the skills and personality of this other character. For example: in the fanfic I'm writing (I'm working on an original book too but this one's about the fic) the recurve bow of character A breaks in a fight and can't be repaired. A is really sad about it because it was family heirloom from his late grandfather. Character B sees this, and so he makes him a sort of compound bow. He's s very much into engineering so it makes sense that with some research he can do it. He gives it to A, who, even though the original bow can't be replaced, is extremely happy. A tightly hugs B (even though he's usually not into too much phisical contact), and that's probably when he realises he's s in love with him.
I hope this makes sense😅
7:49 I think I don't agree with this one that much, because there are characters that do not like touch, and I think showing respect for that boundary can be more romantic than "but they would do it for this person"
I think that too, the only couple I can think of right off the top of my head is Magnus and Alex from Magnus Chase
This, Too much touch can also come across as manipulative, like the character is trying to force a connection. It's creep behavior if it isn't reciprocal.
Mako and Raleigh from Pacific Rim is a very good example of building chemistry right, and they didn't even end up together
Then why do I remember that they ended up together? 😃
I mean you could still head canon that they get together. The only thing they don’t do is kiss at the end. They hug instead.
Because heteronormativity
@@yoonahkang7384 Pretty sure it's a straight coupling
@@billy_romeo I think they’re answering the question, “Why do I remember that they ended up together?”
All thirsting and no romance 🤦🏻♀️ please give me romance! I feel like the the spice rarely works unless there’s been a nice build up of romance👌
Sometimes it can be good to bring a secondary character for the plot of attempting to break apart the couple who are strongly in love.
This can make things quite interesting especially when that secondary character becomes the type of an antagonist that has a crazed obsession to steal the man/woman from their lover. Depending how far that antagonist is willing to go.
6 hits hard. I read a book that the two characters were flawed, but in no way able to help each other get better. Their personalities just clashed. I DNF'd it because being together literally made their flaws worse. This was a romance, so it wasn't a purposeful thing.
Interesting - I could actually see "rarely or never alone together" as a great builder of romantic tension, if it has a clear, compelling reason, and is used as an obstacle they must overcome. I can't help but think of Nora in Pete's Dragon, who managed to have a deeply compelling romance even as the only part of the couple that had any screen time at all lol. Or Maid Marian and Robin Hood in that old Disney adaptation. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," in the words of Lady Kluck :P
Couples in Regency novels HAVE TO be rarely/never alone together. That’s how their society worked. The secret is making the feeling of intimacy happen even with others around.
Think that's if they already were or wanted to be together. Like Ladyhawke kind of thing, can be tension building or gutwrenching. But usually chemitry has to be there first for the fact that they are apart to matter
@@lauragranger9813 I loved Ladyhawke but I think we’re in the minority.
I can’t tell you how many times I either hated or DNFed a book because of insta love or they got too close to quickly ❤
Ditto. The instalove really kills it for me.
Wanna make me stop rooting for a couple? Make the man say or do something out of character that upsets the woman and the woman doesn't question it. She just calls him a monster never wants to see him again and they start ghosting each other.
Bonus points if it’s overheard from a conversation with another character, with no context.
@@thatonepossum5766 ughhh I hate misunderstanding tropes. Especially when they don't make the woman listen to the man's explanation. Shrek already did this trope
Another reason: Conversations not being deep enough. I mean, sure, you can have both characters in a stage with both of them alone after some conflict or situation they just went through together but, sometimes we have this... shallow conversations, characters almost asking each other hows the weather and then, after two of these situations, boom! They´re in love and its like... N-no? You barely know them, everything we know about both characters is what they've revealed us through their own thoughts, but they've NEVER talk about themselves with each other? What do they have in common? Whats their dreams and motivations? Do you share anything else besides vicarious passion?? Please, make you characters have DEEPER CONVERSATIONS!!!
This makes me feel so much better about my WIP, I'm not doing any of these for my main couple. Phew!
Frieren breaks or at least bends most of these rules and the romance is quite good.
Frieren is nearly never alone with himmel, they rarely touch, they never directly addresses each other's flaws unless its lightly teasing one another, and he's dead most of the series. Yet, i hope they can work something out --if only letting her wish him permanent farewell.
*sniff* he ded :")
Ironically this helped me write two characters who appear to be potential love interests but are never meant to be
My 'Notify me' button is broken! fun right? Can someone reply to this comment when it premieres? Thank you in advance!
Edit: ty all who tried to remind me I ended up sleeping through it 😅
Same here
It says Premieres in 8 hours. 17 April at 20:30.
It starts in aproximately 15 mins, but I'm sure you're already here, LOL! Anyway, have fun wathing!
It’s on in 11 mins
😊
Five minutes left! ❤
Abbey sort of looks like Elizabeth Bennet, is that just me? Great video as always!!! 💚✨
😱Wait she does and I love it! ❤
Excellent film choices for examples. Take a look at "Six Days, Seven Nights," ...and add another winner of an example .
Do you know the name of the film with the woman in red who ended up in a trial? It looks interesting.
As I am processing what you taught us today, I thought about a thriller and suspense, "who wants to kill the mayer this time and can we stop him in time?" book series by Tom Clancy that my ex owned. In the first three parts the MC and a colleague of his had a secret crush on eachother, light enough to be a subplot in that genre, but since can also not keep up the same secret crush for 30 books in a row(!), something had to happen with them, so in part 3 they finally kissed. And while Tom could still keep me awake, wondering who wanted to ɓomb city hall this time, the romantic subplot had become useless and boring. It didn't add to the story, because the change in their relationship... It was almost like the writer kept that subplot out of necessity or something... So I would say, as number 8: write this lovestory for a reason, let these people be together for a reason, convince us that the situation really needs these two together, if your romance is a subplot.
So, I had a situation where a vice president tried to kiss my mc. She shut him down. I also have two side character's in my current story. Thanks again Abbie
I'm about halfway into my first romance and they've found true love. Now is their moment for Happily Ever After. They'd better appreciate it, because I'm really going to put them through the wringer in the next chapter.
OH NO. This video made me REALLY stressed about my two main characters! They don't constantly have alone time, but when they do, they touch each other and get productive in their relationship's chemistry.
However, I'm realizing that they liked each other as soon as they met (not love at first sight though) because FMC saved MMC. The latter lacking self-confidence and trusted friends, he immediately gets attached to FMC in a sort of pathetic way (because he quickly becomes enamored with those who show support to him), but then, he slowly learns more about her and gets genuinely attached to her in a loving way.
Is this interesting if two characters like each other from the start? Like, the opposite of *enemies*-to-lovers?
in my opinion, i think it can still be interesting! enemies to lovers is popular because the conflict is naturally baked into the dynamic, but not every good romance needs to be enemies to lovers! they can have personal flaws or external issues they need to work through to be together, even if they like each other! like maybe the FMC is scared to let others rely on her because of a previous experience in her life, but she's still drawn to MMC and it creates a push and pull between them as he learns to be more self-confident. or maybe they want to be together but they need to solve an external obstacle. the point is, i think you can still tell a compelling story where characters push each other to grow and like each other at the same time - write the story that appeals to you! :3
I think that's totally fine! In real life, people can fall in love quickly, especially if their life is saved.
Not every relationship needs to be enemies to lovers. Yeah sometimes there is something from the start. Not insta love, but rather something that makes one of the characters or two of them to take liking in each other that turns to love under some circumstances. So imo it's totally fine! Just make the relationship interesting and believable.
That is friends to lovers. It can start as a casual friendship or a “kindred spirit” friendship without being a coup de foudre. Or there can be an instant attraction that dies down a lot & just simmers in the background. Both work.
Sounds good to me
I don't think you always have to follow any advice down to every detail. There's always room for experiments and stuff.
In my main story i'm writing (i write a lot simultaneously..) it's not really "enemy" to lovers. Yes the guy is cold and distant at first, and acts annoyed etc. But the MC quickly notices this is just a mask he's hiding behind, as otherwise his behaviour contradicts this "leave me alone" attitude (for example, him helping her up when she falls, even asking if she got hurt). Also my MC doesn't act mean towards him, she's always being nice and polite to him even when he tells her to leave him alone or that his problems are none of her business, because she knows he's only putting on an act by that point. And yeah, they quickly find they have a lot in common and my MC wants to be friends, especially since they live in the same house (shared living) and she generally wants to get along with everyone. But seeing their similarities, they do get friendly with each other quick and I suppose you can notice the chemistry between them very early, but they do not like, immediatly fall in love or something, it's just that both of them feel that certain something between them and that's what makes the guy open up to the MC and what makes the MC choose to help him regardless of his behaviour. I plan to address that later on in the story.
If you want to read something new in the romance genre, you must try Sobers Rodrigues' book "Mates". It's so amazing.
I just finished The Otherworld! 7 STAR BOOK!
@@ManicLandemier you can try Mates. It will revitalize ur own romance life.
What's the premise?
Also, one thing that kills any romance for me is when in a relationship, one of the characters tries to change their love interest to make them a better fit.
For example, A and B are dating but not yet in an official serious relationship. A notices something about B that A thinks is bad so A tries to talk B into changing this and B is just written to go along with it. Maybe there's even that ultimatum of "it's either you change, or this is over". This is just really a heavy killer that makes me really question why both of these characters are even dating each other.
There's always two in a relationship and what I just explained is exactly what I hate about a lot of romances, the guy always has to change for the woman, WHY? It doesn't make sense! Why does SHE get what she wants while the guy has to give up his true personality? Why does miss demandy-pants not need to change? Stuff like this always makes me furious.
I've read so many books where there is another character that I want the main character to fall in love with. It makes me so mad when they don't! I have ranted with my friends for hours about how we hate who the main character ends up with.
This is so helpful, thank you! I’m working on trying to figure out my premise so the love interests are forced to be together. Maybe more tension is what I need. I’d love to see you break down famous fictional couples and explain why they work!
Abbie, you're a genius! I don't know if you know telepathy, but you bring out videos at the EXACT MOMENT we need them!
I only have one question - what if you're writing long distance relationships where the characters are NOT able to be together because of other bonds? How can you adhere to proximity in this case?
You ain't lying lol I'm writing a story of a French succubus falling in love with an American human this video came out of nowhere. Taking her advice is great. so far I haven't messed up any of that. I'm trying to weave the supernatural elements into their connection since it's different from regular people talking and falling for each other... I'm having a lot of fun. 😊
From what I know, what I understood from your comment, and based on my unasked-for opinion, you should turn the distance into a real, daily, emotional issue for your characters, especially if they need this lovey-dovey physical contact in their couple. Since you can't have literal proximity between them, you should show a figurative one where they yearn for each other.
If you want them to stay together for the entirety of your story, then internal conflict is the key. Make them suffer inside because of the distance (and maybe because of others' teasing, taunting, or even personal feelings for the two characters in question). If you want their relationship to last, then they must occasionally think of one another. Let them be reminded of their partner when they see a place where they had spent time together, hear a song that the other likes, stare longingly at a picture of them before rising from bed/after work, etc. Just little things in their routine that prove they cherish the other character.
Additionally, they should somehow keep contact with one another, lest their feelings evaporate (it's human nature to turn to someone else when we miss the one we want). Let one character write a letter/text their beloved sometimes, and show how much the latter is happy/how their heart flutters at that small gesture. Let that special communication be the other's engine, the fifth wheel that keeps them afloat in dark times. The less frequently they'll communicate with each other, the more precious a message from them will be.
Dunno if I said anything interesting, but hope it helped.
@ivystead
OMG THIS IS ITTTT. My couple does have problems with the distance because one of them is military and uk how that turns out.
But this could actually help a lot!!!!
Thanks so much!!!
I reckon you could solve this problem by having them think about the other constantly, and have it be known that they talk often. You could showcase their chemistry through a featured conversation. Have them think deeply about the other, ask questions, imagine being with them
There’s always the “We were on the phone foe 3 hours & I can’t remember anything we said, but it was great” style of proximity. Physical proximity makes it easier, but emotional time together can do the job if it’s done well.
how did you KNOW I was searching for a video for chemistry the other day? Youre magical. MAGICAL.
Hey! Thanks for all these videos!
Yeah about the falling in love in a short amount of time, I was thinking that Titanic. Probably a good structure to use on how to build that tension even if it happens during 3 days or something lol.
Yes good one! They were in that forced proximity on the ship but plenty of opportunities to share each others world, like when he took Rose below deck and she dances with him and his fellow cheapsiders and then also the ship was big enough for some ‘alone time’.
@@michellethornton7926 Yes! And then trying to survive together in a time of crisis sealed the deal.
Thank you for your amazing insights Abbie! ❤
I have the habbit of always putting a "troubled guy finds salvation in a girl" relationship in my little stories. In whatever fashion.
This list really helps me out a lot, thank you very much!
Hi Abby! I've never been so early to a video before and this just so happens to be relevant to my current project! You always seem to know what's up. My copy of Tessa and Weston: The Best Christmas Ever just came in and I'm so hype! Love your content
This was good! I realized I've done some things right in my WIP and other things terribly wrong. Lol! Off to edit! Thanks, Abbie!
i started writing my debut novel today and this video was so useful!! thank you as always, abbie
I think that Edmund and Fanny Price from the Mansfield Park novel by Jane Austen does exactly these 7 mistakes because of which Fanny's chemistry with Crawford looks and feels much better!
YES!!!!!OMG I was thniking the same thing! I was shipping Fanny with Henry the whole book, I didnt like her romance with Edmund at all, it felt so forced.
aaaahhh! thank you Abbie
Your pulse on your audience is incredible. Thank you so much for this. 🎉❤
I enjoy these kinds of videos. I am currently working on a new project that focuses on the romantic chemistry between two characters, and it focuses on the challenges between them on the road to getting married. They have been written as friends to lovers, and the challenges they face are on an emotional level that they have to come to grips with about their significant other.
Wasn’t a fan of Jane Austen before finding this channel, but here 4 yrs later… I’m starting to get excited about her work. 😭
this helped so much!!!TY!!!
Number 2, definitely! It was the one niggle I had with 'Les Miserables' and the romance between Cosette and Marius - it was literally, as 'Cinema Sins' satirized - that Marius "falls in love with a woman he met through a fence!"
I disagree about the teasing about other love interests, polyamorous relationships can have no jealousy, and do this well without it messing things up. Plus as I have had actual real life experience, I know it’s possible, I’ve been in that kind of situation myself.
Maybe it's just because I'm polyam but that third point feels a bit odd. I get hurt if someone doesn't share my feelings, but I do honestly carry the 'as long as you're happy, I'm happy' attitude. Hell, I'm happy for one of my partners when I hear he's spending time with his other partner by himself. I like watching them be adorable with each other.
Treating possessiveness as an indicator of love just has never made sense to me.
loved this video abbie, more like this please
Love this video!! This is great advice for writing couples in fiction. I’m currently writing/brainstorming a short story about a married couple who has a kid and I follow these ingredients for writing this couple. 😊❤️❤️
Thanks Abbie, it's a good one advice
I would love for you to make more videos based on the genre of Romance! it helps incredibly. Thank you for the great content!
Love your videos, Abbie! This one is especially well timed for me since I'm weaving in romantic subtext between two POV characters (who are technically with other people in a circle of friends). This is also before they're embroiled in an epic horror/fantasy struggle for their lives. So...yeah, your tips in here were VERY helpful.
Update; you commented on a post I made on one of your videos a few months back when I mentioned starting my writing journey of my debut novel. Happy to report I just crossed the 50k word threshold and grinding through the middle act, now. I'm a bit behind schedule, but, enroute to GREAT things! (I hope!) 😂
Love what you do, Abbie! You're a jewel! ❤
Just discovered your channel and subscribed! I love the fresh information you offer and voice is wonderful to listen to.
And every 'don't' on this list can be a do in satire or when done well etc :)
I think to 2, the 'no love on first sight', I'd add the sub-point of 'don't make one fall in love after being rescued' in one way or another. Seriously. "He saved me from those bullies/monsters/whatever, he is so amazing!" is just ... no. It really appeals to (mostly male) readers. It's not just a trope. I believe it's called the 'knight in shining armor' syndrome?
Could you do mockumentary tips ? Those are my favorite genre and i couldn’t know if you would take request . I would be happy in watching your videos again .
Thank you so much for your teaching ❤❤
I’m not sure inverting these tips works to friendzone a character - because some of these would destroy both romantic and friendship chemistry. For example, characters who are friends should challenge each other on their faults and weaknesses, too - and can sometimes even do so more liberally than romantic partners. That’s where most friendly banter arises from. A friend who doesn’t challenge the protagonist isn’t even a sidekick, they’re just a servant. (This is the reason why a lot of Terry Goodkind’s supporting characters fall flat, because the main thing they do is support the protagonist, who is usually framed as “right”.)
Conversely, I don’t want to turn other characters into a-holes, by having them fight all the time, just to prevent readers from shipping them. Notably, a lot of writers get the “more conflict” mantra wrong, and have characters fight furiously over petty things - rather than having them politely disagree on fundamental issues (like in Star Trek). The latter is where the actually interesting conflict lies. The former is just b*tching around, and potentially a sign of narcissism. In the age of social media, more and more people seem to struggle distinguishing between these two types of conflict.
The thing separate friend and lover are just how they approach physical touch. Maybe what she meant is let them "genuinely tease the other potential date " advice
My idea was to make all my characters have romantic chemistry and never confirm any cannon relationship but I don’t think I’ll do that anymore
No. This is the ultimate troll and I adore it.
Make them all kiss at the end.
Something I want to ask after taking in your tips is...
*What about characters that are in an established romantic relationship from before the story begins, and challenging their bond and chemistry through that?*
While that's likely a different discussion, I noticed that these tips only really apply to couples that become established throughout the story, and I'm not sure if any of them apply to already-established pairings. The reason I ask is because I aim to make a couple that starts out together in the beginning, is challenged by the story's events, and comes out even stronger than before after it all.
Love it! "What is the sorcery?"
tysm abbie
This is super helpful for me. I’m totally going to use all these to highlight why characters shouldn’t be together.
Ok im not sure if u have read it but MXTX's grandmaster of demonic cultivation has one of the most natural romantic progressions ever and tis absolutely beautiful
Thank you so much for this Abbie, I am a novice writer who doesn't have much experience with writing romance, this is a huge help to me.
I have a little bit more confidence now🤗😊👋
Such a great video, as always. But seeing that clip of Miss Scarlet & The Duke was like a punch to the gut.
RIP William and Eliza and all that beautiful chemistry 😭
Your videos are so good ❤
Great list and explanations! You answered all my argumentative questions before I could ask.
I am playing with number 7 in two of my unfinished novels. One is a Regency the other a Vampire.
In the Regency it begins with the heroine in love with a man who seems like he's the hero, but he's really a Lothario who betrays her. She gets stolen away by the nice guy- she fights her attraction for the real hero out of misplaced loyalty to the love she believed she had with the nasty rake. This isn't easy. I'm tired of the rakes always getting the girl in romances.
In the second, my heroine is engaged to a man she believes is the awesomest man that ever lived, her highschool sweetheart. Enter the vampire hero who she'd known in a past life (yes, it's inspired by the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula, I can't stand Dracula and Mina not getting together!). I toe the line of cheating (which is usually a turnoff, btw) and as he seduces her away from Mr Perfect, she realizes she changed herself too much for her fiance. He convinced her to give up being Goth to be with him, and he subtly ridicules her to manipulate her but she hadn't noticed until now. The Vampire brings her back to her true self, she returns to her true Gothic self and thrives as a vampiress. Of course she's fighting her attraction to the vampire as the story progresses.
Love triangles are really tough to write, and because they borderline on cheating, I might turn off some readers. If I ever get either of these finished, I expect my readers will let me know if it worked or not.
thank you so much! :)
Very nice and insightful video, thank you for this. For my most disliked romance killer I would have to say it is when one character very eary on shares a very intimate dark secret, a serious weakness or vulnerability with his or her love interest. This immediately makes me feel it is going to be an abusive relationship, the person will use their own vulnerability as a weapon to gain power over the victim, to guilt-shame the poor person into a relationship and will never let them have a say in any matter in a most cringy manipulative way as in "I trusted you with my secret and now you use it to hurt me!".
Thank you Abbie I have a hard time.
Hi! Excellent video. It's nice to have thinking organized. #3 depends - imho it could be executed well.
On a side note - it would be lovely if you credited the shows and movies you're referencing in your video (be that in the description, on screen as they pop up, or at the end in order of appearance). It's both a good practice, and it would've saved me a fair bit of sleuthing ; P
In a short story the characters could have a back story together, work mates, school buddies and take the next step in the story.
Yes! I'm working on a Warrior Cats fanfiction and I want to use the Internal Conflict and tips in this video for a romantic couple
What period drama is the court scene from?? It looks so good!
EDIT: for anyone else wondering what the show is it’s Miss Scarlet and the Duke. Excuse me, I have some binge watching to do 😍
actually, the first 'problem' can be used to create a situation of conflict. the two characters at the beginning get along well and starts developing feelings but suddenly they are forced to be apart, busy with their own problems and situations to be together. Even juicier if its only one of the characters who is unable to meet up. in the end the other character just explodes, asking "what happened why did you get so distant?!" creating conflict which they could overcome by communicating!
even problems can be bent and used properly and turned into a good plot addition!
Thank you 🤗
"they fall in love too quickly"
Please tell that to people writing romance movies. I hate how incredibly unrealistic the romances are written in most of them. It's like they meet, they instantly fall for each other, then maybe they build in a sort of problem so the rest of the movie is solving that problem and then boom cut to wedding or something. Booooring. I get a movie has limited time to tell a story but honestly, it's the same every time and a big reason I don't like romance movies. I feel like the best romances in movies happen in movies that aren't focusing on romance and only put that in as a side thing.
"they have chemistry with someone else"
Hm, I do see what is meant by that, but I do think a lot of people (myself included) love a good love mystery and the thrill of finding out who the MC goes for.
We have whole TV shows about just that here in germany, shows in which one person dates multiple people to find out who out of those people they will fall in love with. Of course it leaves a lot of people frustrated when their "ship" doesn't come true but it seems that this kind of thing is still popular regardless, so I don't see why a book with a story similar to that wouldn't work.
and number 3 I actually think can be executed well, in "call me by your name" both elio and oliver talk about their other love interests, chiara and marzia, but it doesn't kill any chemistry instead it makes it stronger
When I first tried making romance, people have been drawn to my ships. I didn't realize it was because these mistakes were being avoided. But now that I know for sure, I can focus more on some of the main ships of my characters. Find more creative ways to interact with them, but also keep the chemistry more realistic by giving a journey that helps them grow together while they also learn to grow on their own as they would expect to do most of the time. But the romantic portion of my story is very delicate so it's good to learn these tips so I can handle the romance very carefully.
The last thing we want to do is send a bad message to the world that can drive a reader to make those mistakes in real life and ruin, not just romance, but heck, even marriages.
Glad to know my story does the opposite of literally all of these 😂 Guess I'm on the right track!
Oh, awesome! I have two major couples in my grimdark trilogy, I get to hear that I instinctively dodged all the 'don't' bullets! 😂Now, I feel very Neo-like.
For #3, just want to say, this can be a fine and legit thing if it's in a polyamorous relationship. I'm polyamorous, and my partners and I would love teasing each other about potential love interests 😂
One thing I hate is when two characters have compelling sexual tension so it's just assumed that they're also romantically compatible, even when there's no evidence for them to be
Having chemistry with someone else was my main pet peeve with the Stormlight Archives (first three books) it actually got drawn out for so long that I found myself becoming very annoyed with the book in general. Good advice!
The thing that kills it for me is when they can't even go to each other/talk to each other about anything. I view true love as being able to confide in the other. If not, it's just a fling and there is no way you can make me believe they actually lasted past the story.
Honestly I kinda like the trope of chasing the wrong person for the longest time then only realizing how so much better they'd be with the person who really has the true chemistry with them. Mainly because once they see the other person as the one you just can't help but get exited that they finally see beyond the superficial part of love and see that this person is the friend that they deserve for life
with the first one. No. it depends. What made the hunger games work so well was katniss and peeta were forced together, but then Peeta got taken by the capital. Collins forced them apart and it worked
4:30 im dyingggg.
6:17
11:25
thank you so much!
Romantic comedies i enjoy. Overboard, What happens in vegas, How to lose a guy in 10 , Mr & Mrs Smith, Holidate. I think there is a common theme of two people forced together by the situation. Also, they break some of your rules but still work.
i only disagree with two things, first the touch thing, what if a character doesnt like being touched because something really bad happened to them? that isnt something thats easy to fix nor should it just be forgotten by the story let alone love interests who are supposed to really care about the person. just because most stories include lots of touch and a true loves kiss doesnt mean that they all should. havent written a character like this but i just felt it wasnt really talked about. second, saltines arent bland! there amazing
How quickly is too quickly? Quickly for me is a slow burn (maybe 60 pages) but another can say too quickly is having it within 5 book years (maybe 3 chapters 🤷🏻♂️)
For a lotta these, I agree, however I do feel like some are more nuanced & case by case type of thing, depending on the TYPE of romance being represented. For example, a polyamorous ship, the idea of “don’t make them tease each other about another possible romance” & “don’t make them have multiple romantic partners” is… impossible when the whole POINT is them having multiple partners in that happy, healthy, consensual way 😭 I truly love the way Iron Widow did it, as an example of a polyamorous relationship being the main relationship in the book.
Or for the touch one! I recently read a romance centered around a Muslim couple (Love from A to Z!) & one of the biggest rules in Islam is no touching between genders, which was obviously showcased in this Muslim romance book. And the chemistry was still done beautifully!!
So while a lotta this was insightful, I feel like we should all be mindful of the fact that this shouldn’t be viewed as an end-all-be-all bc for some dynamics in real life, such ideas are not the case & that should be represented in media!!
Polygamous and polyamourous relationships are corrosive to society. They're hedonism.
Look at the cultures that you'd want to live in. They have monogamy as the goal.
I immediately thought of how these rules wouldn't apply to polyamory too
I agree with all of that and a lot of neurodivergent people don’t like touch and asexual/aromantic relationships would also have different depictions.
@@harpywiththebrownfeathers my IMMEDIATE first thought genuinely as a polyamorous person myself.
@@c.l.bailey4256 yes this thank you! I have a VERY touch averse character in my story & when they get a love interest I want it to be a thing where touch isn’t the focal point love language bc for them it just does not work in bulk since that’s sometimes the case in real life.