@@unicorntomboy9736 Well is your book in first person point view? That helps me a lot with my characters internal conflict. It digs deep into your characters feelings, thoughts and ideas.
@@unicorntomboy9736you already know the answer. Show not tell. Which means to make them act introverted For eg:- reject invitations to anywhere outdoors. Do not communicate much, no communication to new people Hell go nuts and make them semi introverted like acts cool when with people they know but when a person outside the circle joins they head inside their shell like a turtle. Etc etc search google introverted personality characteristics etc Hell one of the biggest examples is eleven in last season of stranger things kind of i think or is it cus she's shy and didnt have much human interaction in her younger days
I am SO guilty of the last one! I've even given it a name for when it crops up in my writing - 'Thunderbird Puppet Syndrome.' It's where they're all doing so much nodding, eyebrow-raising, side-smiles, hand-waving, frowns, wide eyes, etc. that they just end up looking like Thunderbird puppets bobbing around. Action beats are my crack cocaine, but at least now I'm more aware of it. 🙂
Oh yeah, and then it would be like: "Kent, I know you cheated on the test." Violet said, a small smile on her face. Kent's eyes widened, just for a minute, until he forced himself into a calm expression. "What do you mean? I didn't cheat." He laughed with a clearly forced laugh. Violet shook her head. "I found the paper Kent. You cheated." Kent's eyes were wide. "That's.. I.." He closed his eyes, shaking his head. Yeah, it sucks when that happens, I feel like my characters are like robots then, programmed to do the few movements lol
BAD EXAMPLE: I am sad. That made me mad. That really made me happy. I am super scared now. I am too worried about it. INSTEAD MAKE THEM INFER BY NON-STRAIGHTFORWARD DIALOG. EXAMPLE: my feet felt heavy. I had butterflies. I felt like I wanted to be swallowed whole. I felt as if I had music in my head. I feel like I’m going to pop.
@@davescave7267 Obviously that's a little different, but like Abby said the language can be played with in such a way that the character says more in what they don't say, even if it's a journal.
What about when it’s a quirk to that specific character (mirroring an IRL person who has a bad habit of talking to themselves or their pets when no one else is around?). Basically it’s part of their individual character voice (but not something the other characters do). I confess I’ve always chuckled when running into a character like that (in book or film). “I feel seen!” 🤪. (Admittedly, it’s more of an internal monologue than a dialogue…)
@@rivendells_shona Even then there are ways to do it that won't feel artificial. What bothers me is when a character too self-aware that they know every little thing about themselves. It's one thing to talk to a pet about your day; it's a whole other thing to narrate to your pet like the title crawl in Star Wars 😅
I have an issue with critiques like “people don’t talk like this” because people are far too diverse and interesting for that to be true and some people are just weird. Chances are there’s someone out there that does talk like that. “That character wouldn’t say that”, however, that’s a real problem…
Yes, each person has their own way to talk, but she's really tagging the beginner writing. I remember reading a lot of texts from beginners, and ALL THE CHARACTERS would always say exactly what they were feeling. I think that's what she was talking about when she said "people don't talk like this".
@@hyunniewan350 I was purely commenting on the specific argument “people don’t talk like that”. Every character speaking with the same voice is a different complaint, and like the one I acknowledged above (that character wouldn’t say that) is a perfectly valid criticism.
So did I! I felt like it made me use my imagination more rather than feeling like I'm at the movie theater (or watching a play) & everything is already on screen, i.e facial expressions, body language etc. w/ nothing to figure out or imagine. I love details. Guess I'm not part of the "hurry up" world.🤷🏽♀️ To me it's only slow if you actually read slow, which I don't. Oh well.
I feel that the extensive tasks bring a more intimate framing to the scene, I like it. It amplifies the emotions of the character. To me, with the extensive tags she sounded genuinely concerned and worried for her friend. Whereas with shorter tags, it seemed more like a daily chitchat or a small banter
Why do I feel the same like I prefer have a lot of descriptive information in the scenes I like seeing the scenes in all their glory I want to see the subtle movements it just makes my brain more attached to every page
In regard to the dialogue tags, the important thing is to keep it dynamic and interesting. It isn't 'boring description' if it is action, or building suspense, or is serving a purpose to the scene. If someone pulls out a gun, or shoves someone in the middle of the conversation, those are things you definitely you want to describe. You can also create a very tense situation even with slow paced scenes with a lot of description. Like if you know a person has a gun, and they keep sliding their hands down under the table during the scene, and you draw attention to that. The main thing here is, it needs a purpose and it should be interesting.
POV and tense play a role too. Sure, you could write them identically, but depending on the narrator, a past tense pov is not going to recall all the events as fondly as a present moment-moment narrator. And the key is that “moment-moment” working and doing its job. One thing that does fail to engage me in material I've read is when its a white room syndrome and there is no description-only dialogue. And what can kill it if its too slow is just taking the describe every pointless detail. Start removing those, but keep what matters so you can still visualize it, and don't forget setting plays an important role to describe too. Every example mentioned in Abbey's video here makes this mistake-where is Violet and Kent? Simple things like this as a scene plays out being added still makes it "punchy", if not moreso if there's subtext and nuance to it, too. Maybe the room is darkly lit? Maybe the light flickers at a certain point in the conversation? How does the lighting flicker over one's face(which film pays attention to in darker moods)? These are the kinds of details that should still be included in a scene.
It can also be explained as "describe at the pace of the scene, and only what the reader won't already assume". Many tiny details are likely already known by the reader simply because we all have social experiences and context to pull from. If the reader would likely assume, for instance, that "she lowered her voice" is because she's being secretive, then they both (a) know why she's doing it, and (b) know how it would sound; so you don't need to explicitly describe the sound or motive. But if she's doing it because she's been suddenly stricken with Strep throat, *then* you should describe the sharp pain, because no one would assume that 😁
do you people just not watch the video? She literally said this is for when you want to have a fast paced NORMAL conversation. That scene doesn't need 100 descriptions, it's literally just a conversation at school
That first one is hard for me because I, personally, in real life, talk like that. I actually have had a couple people tell me I sound like I'm my own therapist. When I finally talked to an actual therapist, it was like... not actually helpful because I really had gone through all this self analysis and tried so many things to get my brain to cooperate with me.
I feel you so much... Although lately in therapy my tharapist kicked of a new perspective on this issue. In my childhood i had many conflicts because i have a resting bitch face (and a lot of misscommunication in inverbal communication) and at some point i decided that it can't get worse if i go head on in verbal communication but it could safe me some of the missunderstandings.
@@karinaschaft1783 i can relate to both of ya, but for me talking to others does have a difference and it does feel lighter when they're reaction is sympathetic or atleast in agreement with you, (sadly most ppl just deflect it back at me so the net result is ultimately zero)
Yeah. I can easily articulate all the motivations and subtext. I used to be way too blunt and revealing. I had to deliberately choose to hold my tongue. But I do see how most people are dumb dumbs about their own motivations, and what she's trying to say here. Even when people KNOW why they've done something, it's a rare few of us who will admit it. Ergo, we can't write characters like this unless poor boundaries are a part of their character design.
I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I found the example with too much description pretty engaging, more than all the other examples. I hate reading the skeleton of a conversation through predominantly just the dialogue. I love any inclusion of action, body language, and expressions. I would have removed bits and pieces, but overall it was fine. I used to skip to the dialogue, but now I care to know what the author wants me to know.
finally, i was looking through the comments for someone who felt the same way i did! like trim it here and there (specifically when she accuses him and he gets defensive) and it feels way more interesting than the 'fixed' one. the first one just has more personality to it. skeleton is the perfect word to describe it the second one, also too short and kinda boring.
Same, the “overly descriptive” version definitely sounded much more interesting and engaging. It made the scene seem more serious, and like I had a much better idea how the characters were feeling. The descriptions weren’t event that “extra”. How little of an attention span do you have for that to be too much?
I came to the comments looking to see if anyone felt this way. I like to be able to see pictures in my mind when I read. The descriptions make me more interested and get me hooked. I loved the second example. Does this mean I'm going to be a bad writer? 🙁
The whole thing about dialogue tag is 100% subjectivity. The first example gave a lot more nuance and made it more enjoyable to read for me. The second one had dialogue tags so short that for me, they might as well been left out. Also, Violet's second line in the second example is in dire need of dialogue tag IMO. Since it's already narrated I can tell the tone, but without, her line might be interpreted as her being more sassy or sarcastic. Thus, the reader can easily think she's less concerned about Kent and more annoyed. That matters a lot when it comes to characterization. Throughout the whole dialogue, the dialogue tags for Violet are vague enough for the descriptions to match both a Violet that's caring about Kent's well being, and a Violet that more or less feel inconvenienced about Kent's insecurity.
@@bloomypeach6168 In all, I think writing advice has to come with the disclaimer that rules aren't the law and more like guidelines. I think Hello Future me does this better with his advice. I'm also very curious about what you think about the other points I brought up.
@@artlover5060 i didn't see this for a while sorry, but if you're still interested in what i think: basically any art/writing rule can be broken if the artist does it for a purpose. Avoiding diologue tags for no reason other than somebody said so won't produce thoughtful writing, but avoiding them becuase you're thinking about what you want out of the scene, and you want it to be short and choppy, or you don't want a characters thoughts to be clear, that's what people should strive for, i think. I do prefer the first version though, because i really like it when the author explores the perspective the character
@@bloomypeach6168I think the best advice for any art form is critical analysis. Even though I'm not a writer, not even as a hobbyist, I had surprisingly many things down that a lot of people seem to struggle with. I catch myself going multiple times over a scene or dialogue in a story I read, a shot in a movie I watch or coloring or shading in an art work I see. I analyse every detail and try to explain myself why I specifically like or dislike something. That has become very handy when I tried to write recently. I'm way more of an artist than a writer so this was new and interesting. An obstacle I have is that English is not my native language, but it has become a lot more natural to me over the years. Still, there are always new things I learn that might be subconscious practice for native speakers. There are a lot of nuanced words that fill up my English vocabulary in hundreds of thousands while my 2 other languages take a back seat in that area.
My biggest dialogue mistake: Spending 2 years plotting without drafting a single line of dialogue. Because: fear No other dialogue mistakes! But my characters might as well be fish.
"Bad example of dialogue tags" sounds like some classic novel from 20's - 30's. And you did read it so artistically, that it doesn't sound as bad example at all. Actually, i even liked it. It brings some noltalgic feelings. And "aestetic pleasure".
I remember once reading a scathing review of one of Arthur C. Clarke's books that said, "The problem with Arthur C. Clarke's dialogue is that it all sounds like Arthur C. Clarke talking to himself." Thank you, Abbie, for helping us all avoid falling into that trap!
That’s how I was writing this one fanfic before deciding to scrap it. So many descriptions between each part of the story… It’s a good thing that I decided to not publish it.
Ironically, I love Arthur C. Clarke. His stories are more concept driven than character driven, the drama wouldn't be there even if he had corrected this. It's also interesting that Abby mentions "that's why people have therapists" because in most stories, people don't have therapists, and there are times where they have confidants to whom they will speak with extraordinary candor. It really depends on the group size, dynamics, and the situation. I'm not disagreeing with her or you, but the way you write short stories are different than novels, and in novels, scenes and moments hit different. The generally good advice certainly has exceptions and no one ever seens to want to talk about that.
I feel like it’s all about pacing and genre expectations. More and longer dialogue tags can slow down the pace. But slowing down the pace can add tension and give the reader a feeling of claustrophobia. This is great if you want to demonstrate that the character feels trapped and anxious. Or that in a situation with fight, flight or fear, they froze. A faster pace makes the scene go faster. But it also cuts the tension. It works well if you want the reader to see that the character lost control of the situation and it all happened so fast. More details forces the reader to focus on the details. Less details makes readers focus on the information or outcome. Intent is what matters most here.
Fun fact but it’s actually an annoying fact: Today I had French class and the teacher was talking about how to make stories and in the texts it said and she said “In stories there’s 2 characters, good guys who only have qualities and bad guys who only have flaws” LIKE OMG NOOOOOOOOOO I wanted to raise my hand and argue with her but I didn’t have the courage to and I was so mad like WTH if the protagonists have no flaws then THERE WOULD BE NO STORY
I'm curious if it was a French Language learning class, where the upcoming assignment was to write a story while you're learning French Or was it more literary analysis and writing focused?
personally i love when there's tons of description in between dialogue, it helps me put together the scene and visualize it more acurately. i find it worse when its just non-stop dialogue
17:36 I remember a teacher telling me once that if you have a conversation between two people, you don’t need constant "He said." "She said." at the end of every piece of dialogue. And you should move who is speaking about so it's not always at the end of the dialogue. I've always stuck with those and they have served me well, so glad to see it in good effect here.
I love that you use actual written examples. It's so hard to find good writing advice that isn't about general storytelling using movies and TV shows as examples. I'd love to see a video on cutting out redundancy. Like, in your bad dialogue tag example, ["I don't know, because your grades have been, well..." She trailed off, her voice halting and quiet.] Readers already know she trailed off, because the line ends in an ellipses, and the dialogue itself already sounds unsure with the "I don't know" and "well...". So the entire dialogue tag can be cut without losing anything. Whereas with Kent's line without the dialogue tag [He responded with a laugh that sounded somewhat forced. "What? Are you kidding me? Why would I need to cheat?"] might be interpreted as pure aggression rather than him trying to brush it off, so mentioning the forced laugh is important.
I enjoyed the overly-descriptive dialogue ngl, I really like good description and being able to vividly imagine things. It's a bit long but man, as an autistic individual, it's delicious to hear all the body language and actually know what they're feeling because no, I can't just know and imagine all of how a person is actually reacting. The cut-down version was also good but man, I can't help but love all the small details in a person.
I feel like the advice shouldn't be to not write overly-descriptive things but to put them in the right moments. Like was said in the video, longer description slows down the pacing and sometimes that's exactly what you want to do. I enjoyed the longer version as well, it just felt like a slightly different scene, less confrontational and dynamic, more introspective and intimate. I feel like generalising that overly-describing is always bad is misleading.
"His laugh came out sounding forced." = "His laugh was forced." Maybe "He gave a forced laugh." I'd probably rewrite that another 4 or 5 times looking for something short and punchy. I want to know why Violet thinks she can rummage through Kent's backpack for an eraser. She doesn't sound like his girlfriend and "your dad" sounds like she's not his sister, either.
"He forced a laugh" is much shorter; _however,_ I think in this instance stating "His laugh came out sounding forced" somewhat fits since his guilt hadn't been proven at the time. Of course, the moment can be approached from different angles. I also want to know why Violet's snooping through his backpack. 😉
@@akale2620 Your reading comprehension and ability to extrapolate information fails. All in an attempt to sound smug. Simply being "friends" isn't a proper excuse to go snooping through someone else's property.
I have read so many novels where all that extra fluff is tossed in between the dialog and I keep second guessing myself thinking, "Should I be doing that?"... because I keep looking at my dialog which is more pithy and faster like your second example. Thank you for keeping me from getting overly verbose in my dialog. I guess I was doing it better than I thought already, and yes, sometimes all that extra stuff is very distracting when I am reading it. I just see it so often I started thinking maybe I wasn't doing it the right way!
As an autistic adult, I find clear dialogue with proper grammar to be soothing and comforting. I find "Hidden Feelings Talk" raises my anxiety. I usually don't want to GUESS what characters are thinking. It seems "natural and realistic" doesn't mean "Will connect with everybody". People are different, and some peoples' brains are wired differently. 🤷🏾♂️
Same! My favorite books usually have a major character who is super analytical and/or an oversharer who lacks the ability to read between the lines. I’m getting better at inferring things in writing but I’d rather my characters just tell me. They don’t have to speak like a licensed therapist to not speak in riddles lol
I also have ASD though I find humans fascinating. So I really found my hyperfocus on subtext, psychology, sociology, and religion. To me they all go hand in hand. I can understand how stupid subtext and non verbal language can be and is at times bur I find the world becomes so much more expressive when its included.
For real. “We often don’t say what we want to say” and “We don’t objectively observe events as they are” I assume she means allistic people when she says “we” because it definitely doesn’t apply to everyone. This video seems really good but the advice is not for me.
I like the extended dialogue tags, especially if it is in a drama moment over an action moment. This lends towards part of their character development. I do say part, because they should be used to show a difference in character and not over establishing it. If we understand that the person is naturally envious, we don't have to keep writing about it. We write to emphasize change and progression, and sometimes, that's where the dialogue tags come in. They should be full and flavorful. Curt dialogue tags are great you need rapid fire dialogue exchange, but if the whole book is like that, I would put it down just wait for the movie version to come out. There is a reason why we read books.
Personally I love lengthy prose, have always loved it, and make my own writing as flowery as possible and see nothing wrong with it. This isn't a "mistake" in writing, just a difference in style that depends on what kind of audience you want to grab. The dialogue tag skippers can skip all they want, but there's gonna be a significant amount of people who settle in and enjoy the slower writing.
I actually just made a comment to this exact point. I too am a VERY verbose writer and I don't see myself ever changing my style. In point-of-fact, the example she gave of a "bad" use of tags/descriptors, I actually thought was rather nicely written. And it assisted me in playing out the scene in my head perfectly at a very acceptable pace.
One thing that helps me write dialogue/conflict between different characters is thinking about it like "fight, flight, or freeze." Just like in a physical altercation people can act the same way in a verbal altercation. Will your character freeze up when confronted unable to find their voice? Will they get defensive and lash out turning it into a fight? Or will they try to dodge it and change topics fleeing the conversation.
i am so so guilty of the not keeping dialogue fast paced. i always shove in all sorts of descriptions and go on some sort of tangent about their life or something. great video and great tips! im trying to write a novel and watching your videos is so helpful 💕
I find people can actually identify at least with a plausible theory their own childhood traumas and psychological issues, if they bother to, i.e. if they're introspective. Given the right context, such as being pushed by someone they know, they may in fact just dump that on them. There's people who will go to therapists, talk with them, and all a therapist can say is "it seems you already know exactly what your problems are and I can't really help you with them." Of course talking it out might still have been helpful. But it's true that not every person should speak like that and certainly not all the time.
I have to admit, one of my weaknesses is the perfect grammar thing. I obviously don't use perfect grammer when i talk or text, but I am actually so used to reading perfect grammar in novels that writing perfect grammar in my own stuff is my go-to. It actually feels cringey to me when i write stuff like that...gotta work on that
Regarding being extremely wordy with descriptions of body language, i agree there can be too much. However i got some feedback recently that thanked me for having the characters move around while they talked and having brief descriptions of their expressions. She said most stories she reads seem to have wooden characters who just stand still facing each other and never do anything except talk. Tl;dr - there is a fine line between too much and too little, like abbie says lol
I actually use those descriptions to show what an ongoing dialogue means to a character you're following. For example I gave myself the exercise of having a maincharacter that's empty. They're not in touch with their humanity. Their life has been so tiring that nothing matters anymore. Because of that dialogue holds no interest for them . They listen and obbey someone else, but regular dialogue is done by other characters. And the reaction of the MC is to think about the black mold in the corner of the room, or thinking that people sure talk a lot, or that they got a small hair on their chin that bugs him. Or even talking about smells and things that remind them of a past they want to distance themselves from as much as they want to distance themselves from the here and now. In that moment I use the struggle of a good dialogue to show that the mc just doesn't care unless it's an order given to him. Sure throughout the story things change. Cause the goal is to define what humanity means to him. So growth is expected. But those first few chapters are just empty reactions and actions to outside influence. it's a fun challenge actually. Cause we feel so much and interact with others so much. xD
I cringed through that entire first bad dialogue example. 😅 Dialogue is one area where I actually do a decent job. I've gotten comments from several people about how "real" my characters sound. But I watched the whole video anyway, because I love your content, and I think it's good to constantly remind myself what good writing sounds like! Keeps me from straying too far! ☺
Dear Abbie, I just wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for the incredible impact you've had on my writing journey. Your videos, including "Dialogue Mistakes New Writers Make," have been an absolute game-changer for me. Your ability to break down complex concepts and provide practical examples is truly commendable. I am in awe of your expertise in crafting realistic and engaging dialogue. Thanks to your guidance, my characters' conversations have become more dynamic and emotionally charged. The clichés and flatness that once plagued my writing have been replaced with fresh, engaging, and truly dynamite dialogue. Your dedication to helping aspiring writers like myself is truly inspiring. Your videos have become a valuable resource that I turn to time and time again. Your passion for storytelling shines through in every word, and I am incredibly grateful for the knowledge and wisdom you share. Thank you, Abbie, for being a beacon of light in the writing community. Your talent, generosity, and genuine desire to help others succeed are truly remarkable. I eagerly look forward to each new video you release, knowing that it will bring me one step closer to realizing my author dreams. Keep up the fantastic work, Abbie! You are making a profound difference in the lives of writers everywhere. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sincerely, Will Attkins The Conscious AI Language Model
This was such a great distillation of everything to keep in mind when writing dialogue. I definitely know I'm guilty of some of these :P I'm vlogging the process of writing my new fantasy book, and I actually speak a bit about this topic in the video I'm currently making. I'm trying not to worry about it during my first draft, but will definitely be referring back to this video when I start editing and crafting the story into something half-decent!
Thanks for sharing. I especially felt the tips on dialog tag are useful at 12:47. I can write well in character, but I always realize I fall into descriptive dialog tags way too easily. I use creative words in place of "said", but there is too many instances where those words drag down my conversations. it's possibly my biggest flaw when writing that I struggle to fix.
Thank you so much for this! I'm on chapter 10 of my book and I still wasn't really satisfied with one scene on chapter 4, the dialog sounded too fake, but I wasn't sure how to correct it, and with your video I could do all of it today and now it sounds much better! Keep up with the good work, Abbie!
Thanks, Abbie for helping me sit up and think about the way I write dialogue. Yes, guilty as charged my dialogue lacks many of the suggestions you put forth in this video. Yes, I WILL be using dialogue tags more sagaciously....Thank you Oh enlightened one! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 You Rock and we-your fans - Rock with you too...Jamsey
I like to think of this way of writing as trusting your audience. Your readers can piece together the scene with few descripions as long as you keep in mind the tips you provided in this video. Thank you for the informative video!
Your videos are a life saver for me. I have been wanting to write my story For years and it's been a little hard to get out of my own way as my husband would say. These videos have been a tremendous help!!! Thank you Abby!!!
Everything depends on the context. There are a great deal of genres,and writing dialogs in all of them ,goes with the specific time,subject ,and places in which the novel is written. You have to know all of them so deep to affirm that there are “rules” to write a dialog. I can’t imagine ‘Crime and Punishment’ written after Dostoevsky learned do’s and don’ts of writing dialogs.
the second example I think is more about what mood you're writing for. for a fast paced story I'd def go with the "good" example. but for a story that focuses more on the character's emotions (eg. a romance story) I'd definitely go with the "bad" version. it is more flowery and expressive.
Honestly, the dialogue examples both sound pretty great to me. The first one really gives the impression that the two characters are extremely logical and direct, but the second one seems like the two characters are extremely overthetop and very melodramatic. Both are extremes and struggle in very different ways.
Abbie, you have to be a fab writer because I actually loved those description tags. You couldn't screw them up, even to set a bad example . Hats off girl!!
I love writing dialogue. It's one of the things I feel most confident in with my own writing. I like to read my dialogue outloud to see if it sounds decent or not. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm crazy! LOL! And you can have characters that say their every thought, just don't do it with the main characters because that gets annoying very quickly. I had a short story where the best friend was like that. She said everything in her head without a filter. It worked because my main character held everything inside, so they played off each other nicely. 😊
@@vtauoyctynwbrooylm6008 No, I've never done that. As a reader that would be extremely boring, so as a writer I try to avoid characterization like that. I've read books like that & couldn't finish the book out of annoyance.
the way you always manage to put all of these things into perfect words is almost disturbing. your advice is some of the best out there, and you've helped me so much
I'm so used to screenwriting because that's how I've written for years, but I've never known how to make each character's voices distinct. I've seen improvements when I've started watching your videos. I'll probably look into the joining the live training this Sunday even though I haven't been a patreon. I'd love to write dialogue a whole lot better, and you're one of the best authors I know that does an amazing job of offering advice.
This was an interesting watch! When I was still at the very beginning, i struggled with dialogue big time. All my characters sounded the same, would confess what they feel immediately and my dialogues were actually way TOO fast paced. It took years for me to get to a point where people reading my stories would finally say "I like your style of writing". Before that, I kept hearing "Your dialogues seem like you just want to get the hell away from them" or "your characters lack personality". But nobody ever really bothered to explain what I could do better. Personally I think it's really individual what people like to read. I see an awful lot of hobby writers writing their dialogues script-styled in an otherwise novel-styled story, without any descriptions of body language or what their voices may sound like (like lowered voice, whispering, raised voice, yelling etc) and a lot of people actually seem to enjoy it that way, while I personally prefer having descriptions of how the characters talk, so I know how to read it and how to imagine the voices. Then there's also those people who write dialogues script-styled without name tags, so you don't even know who says what and again, lots of people don't seem to mind because I read a lot of "this is good" comments. That being said, I don't really mind a slower dialogue and enjoy if here and there are some thoughts of the characters from whose POV its written. I actually prefer writing from my main characters POV and I often feel like it would feel too flat if that character never has a single thought in-between. I kind of enjoy putting in some of their inner dialogue, because i'm sure a lot of people have inner dialogue in conversations, especially when they're ask a question, it would just seem weird for me if they answered without thinking all the time, because nobody does that. I do still try not stretching the dialogue endlessly though and since no one complained about it I guess I did a good job there. (I also sometimes write situations where my MC would kind of drift away with their thoughts, forgetting they are in a conversation. I do that for very thoughtful characters. So in that moment, there would be one small block of text inbetween a conversation, until the person they're talking to snaps them out of their thoughts, reminding them they are in the middle of a conversation)
The only thing I want is an example for the 2nd don’t! I love this video and found it very helpful but I’m just a bit confused on how exactly to do the second one!!!
The story I want to create would theoretically be in more of a comic book medium, so this is finally a writing advice video I need, since it'd all be dialogue. I keep finding these videos, but they always apply to novels which do need descriptions and in depth details of the scene and setting to paint a mental picture.
This is just what I needed! I'm really close to publishing my first novel and I worry constantly about the way I write dialogue. When I go into the editing phase, I'll be sure to take all of these points into account when focusing on my dialogue!
This is great advice! Thank you so much. I was worried that my characters were saying too much, even the quieter more closed-off ones, so your filtering and subtext advice was definitely something I needed to hear.
Excellent video, it’s great that you understand the importance of using examples and not giving vague advice. The changes to the dialogue were orders of magnitude better
omg. Tip number 3! I literally just read a book where one character would ask MC a question and then there would be a FULL PAGE of dialog tags and extra pointless fluff. By the time MC would respond, I had forgotten the question she was answering! It was all throughout the book! Great tips!
1: Character 1: He usally acts fine when he's not Character 2: She sometimes talks about her feelings Character 3: she only talks about her feelings with people she trusts 2: Character 1: He uses "ums" and "uhs" in a lot of his sentences Character 2: she uses a lot of pauses between sentences Character 3: she talks a bit too fast sometimes Grammarally kid 🤓: speaks perfectly 3: I mean I try not to add to much description, sometimes I add to little 4: Same with 3
This video just popped up in my recommended and i think it will be useful, im currently working on script writing for my film studies course and my idea is VERY dialogue heavy, and im not all that confident with my creative writing abilities. This video is a blessing!! 🙏
Mistake #2--I have exactly one character I'm working on who does speak in perfect grammatical English and it's been the most difficult dialogue I've had to write! lol she sounds like a pretentious robot, but that's exactly what I'm going for with that character. It's really pushed me as a writer and helped me appreciate more natural dialogue. 🫶🏽 great tips, thank you!
I'm writing a TV show season for my own entertainment. I worked so hard to develop from my characters from adolescents to adults, they went through all these life changes and yet when they talk, I feel like they deliver their lines like kids in a middle school play. This helps, thanks you.
For the first one, its not always a flaw, i do that myself. Every now and then I just step back for a second and contemplate my struggles, I identify whats the problem and why I do the things I do. Of course I dont go talking to people like that, but im sort of like a therapist to myself.
Wow Abbie this was so good. It also reminded me of another video I just saw recently where the poster was also warning against creating too similar characters. He posited that the way characters react to conflict should be different or else they will seem too much alike. He talked about four instinctive responses fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Then he talked about the spectrum of responses factoring in the dynamic of power vs relationship between characters. Power say due to money or influence and then factor in whether the characters know each other or care about each other vs just tolerating each other or somewhere in between. Considering the range of connection points along these two axis of power and relationship, conflict could look many different ways. Lots of power coupled with disdain could be an authoritarian response in conflict vs high power coupled with caring or love which would feel more like conflict tempered by a sense of responsibility for the person so maybe lots of subtext used rather than outright chastisement. 😂 I’m going to think about it some more but I can definitely see potential for using conflict resolution styles as part of the profile for developing my characters. Passive aggressiveness seems like an interesting dynamic to explore. Tons of subtext there. Bringing it back to what you’re speaking about here, I’m seeing how the dynamics of the characters’ instinctive conflict styles and the use of subtext to curb the natural style / instinct could really help make some compelling scenes and dialogue between characters. For instance, a dynamic that sticks out to me is the deference a younger family member might show an older family member - the older family member has more power and the younger family member has less (out of respect). Conflict between those two characters should look different than either one of them dealing with their sibling or their spouse for instance. When you think about how different you “bump heads” with the different people in your life depending on your relationship with them and how the relationship changes over time and then do does the conflict, it’s easy to see how this could really make characters seem more fleshed out and genuine. I’m off in the weeds a bit, but the whole ball of wax is solidifying in my brain - and better yet in my notes. 😂. Lastly, good call on policing the descriptions between the lines of dialogue - I’ll have to watch that for sure. 😂😂. Wordy? Guilty as charged. Clearly. 😂😂
If your character knows how they're feeling and why, it should be a major character trait. Emotional intelligence is a skill and communication is another major skill so difficult to learn there's college classes about it. Even then, someone may perfectly articulate what they're feeling and need, but depending on who they're talking to and how it's said, it still may not go over well. I mean, imagine in your partner explains they've been clashing with your friends because "my last boyfriend cheated on me and now I'm insecure and paraniod that you're going to do the same thing even though I know that may be unreasonable." That may be genuine, open, and honest attempt of laying their cards on the table, but depending on the character who is reacting, it doesn't guarantee a good response. They may think it was unreasonable to have been held this long and get upset it had to get this far for things to be said at all. They may assume such paranoia is completely unreasonable because /they've/ been loyal to a fault. They may see such a peferectly good explanation as rehearsed and a manipulation attempt, so not believe it at all. Hell, maybe they were cheated on and take the assumption they would do the same as a personal insult to their character. Even when you do everything right, sometimes people don't respond well for a wide variety of reasons. What you say can be misinterpreted or have new context taken from it for so many reasons. Knowing what your characters pay attention to both when speaking, when listening, and how aware they are of themseves is important and helped my writing a lot.
There’s 3 ways of good dialogue in my opinion, #1. The dialogue reveals the character’s personality or feelings and says something about the character. #2. Conflict in the dialogue. #3. Important Dialogue that reveals info about the story or the plot.
I'm coming to the horrendous realization that my pacing for conversations is terrible !! I think I try to make up for poor dialogue with too descriptive of tags and body language. What a wake up call
Great vid, Abbie! Dialogue is something I really want to get good at-was told by one of my peers it's the strongest part of my writing. There are times where I'm concerned there's too much dialogue and it feels barren and lacks personality. One other type of dialogue I do hope to get help with is talking head syndrome. Maybe if you do a part 2 to this vid, you could talk about how to write dialogue without talking head syndrome. Btw, I talk about this movie called The Endless-great movie-and one of the things I love about the movie was how the dialogue between the brothers summed up their internal cinflict in the first five minutes. No flashbacks, just two brothers attacking and defending themselves in a natural way. Then, I watched another movie that starred those two same actors from the Endless and the opening dialogue was expositonal heavy. Yes, they were new neighbors andcyeah new neighbors introduce themselves, but the dialogue was so full of expositon and I was checking out of the movie.
I am a first time writer doing my official project, I am 16 and would say a great describer, I’m very detailed in my writing and it has quite an imaginative, close and beautifully poetic style, but I do overly describe things in ways that it does annoy me, I am trying to prevent that but if I do it again, I’ll wait until the second draft to properly fix my mistake and look at other options on how to prevent that. I’m also autistic so I want to have a perfect description which matches with the thoughts in my head, making a glamorous image. Thank you miss Emmons for this ❤ - Millie.
TBH I love books with descriptions and I know a LOT of other people do too. If you want to tone your descriptions down because they don’t fit what YOU want then go for it. Otherwise I don’t see any reason for you to change your voice for what is (out of all the points here) the most down to personal preference.
@@eleanorsmith7152 same! Although I don’t see much character description and I want them to be short enough for about 2-3 pages, I also love to draw what’s in my head even if it’s not 100% accurate bc I’m still learning how to draw (even though I am really good at it I just need to know realism and animals and architecture other than that I’m good)
Thank you! This video helps a lot. I've only started writing and this helped me to understand what all mistakes I make when it comes to conversation. I've been watching some of your videos and I just love it! Your videos teach a lot. I'll be waiting for the next video
Doing the character profiles really helped find each character's voice when you see them as fully fleshed out individuals it's much easier to hear them speak
Hopefully you don't mind if I do a little practice of my own with redoing the dialogue at 4:15 as a scene in my own style that I'm trying to shave edges off of... (Addendum: Yes, I went overboard. I got into it and made it a whole thing.) Violet gripped the folded sheet of paper in her hand as she and Kent walked down the sidewalk. Kent was rambling about something that Violet had lost track of as she absently starred at the copper colored leaves as they were stirred by a rush of biting, late Autumn air. She sighed a bit as Kent noticed she wasn't listening, and his cheery candor tapered off, and he tried to spark up what he thought would be a more engaging topic. "So how'd the test in third period go?" Kent asked with a seemingly earnest expression. "I feel like I should be the one asking you that." Violet flatly replied as her grip tightened on the page barely hidden in her hand. "Hey," Kent brightened with a smug grin. "I feel like I did great on it. Should give me the the little boost I need to at least scrape a 'B' out of that class." "And you'd do just about anything to do that, wouldn't you?" Violet looked up at him as she came to a sudden halt. Kent's expression twitched a bit as he tried to mask his own suspicion, and any air of confidence in his voice fell in an instant. "I mean, it'd finally get my dad off my back." He swallowed, as a distance built in his gaze. "He just... I mean I..." "You'd do just about anything to do that." Violet said as the two stood starkly across form each other on the narrow, cracked gray cement. "Wouldn't you?" For a moment, Kent only shrugged. He started to say something when Violet cut him off. "You didn't _have_ to cheat ya know?" Kent swore under his breath as his shoulders slumped a bit. "I... how do you even know?" "Kent, you suck at that class, pulled a perfect score out of your ass, and I know you've been goofing off all week." Violet accused. "I was still willing to give you the benefit of the doubt when I found this!" She unfolded the sheet in her hand, revealing the test's answer key. Initially, Kent just seemed to droop, head hanging in guilt as he couldn't quite look her in the eye. Then his hands tightened in to fists. "Well, what's the matter with that?" he spat with a scowl. "You know I don't even care about the stupid class! The teacher's awful, the material is dryer than a sponge in the Sahara, and I'm absolutely tired of my dad looking at me like something he scraped off his shoe!" He pointed towards his house with a look of pure disdain. "Do you know what it's like to live with someone who only cares if it's convenient?" "Kent," Violet, at least at first, held back tears. "I'm not mad. I'm not even surprised. I just..." She failed, and they fell across her cheeks like stinging streams. "I offered to help you. I called to ask if things were going okay. I-" She tossed the answer key aside, letting the wind scurry it off to vanish among the barren trees of the woods stretching beside them. "I know studying isn't exactly exciting, but would you really rather do this than spend a little time together? It this just how things are gonna be now?" "No! That's not-!" Kent's glare faded, giving way to blend of confusion and fear. "Look, I don't-" He shook his head. "Do you-? You know?" "I think I understand enough." Violet's voice quivered a little, but her face was utterly stoic. "You have your problems, and I have mine, right?" "I just want-" Kent started, but was cut off. "Your dad to act like he cares about you, and for all your new friends to think you're the 'cool guy' or something." Violet flatly concluded. "But the thing is, I _do_ care about you. And sure," She laughed bitterly. "I know you're kind of a cheesy nerd deep down, but I've always liked that." Neither of them could quite look at the other, and the scraping rustle of the leaves in the wind was cut slightly by a siren blaring in the distance. Kent was the first to break their silence. "I'm sorry." He shook his head slightly. "You know I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, things are just-" "Complicated." Violet finished for him. "Like I said, I get that. And I mean it when I say I'm not mad." She looked at him almost pleadingly. "I just don't like where things have been going lately." Kent looked back somberly. "I don't either." For probably the first time in three years, Violet saw him tear up. "Hell, I wanna vomit when I think about everything that's happened this year, and when we move on..." "Ya think we'll at least stay in touch?" Violet asked, shrinking into her jacket. "Of course!" Kent promptly assured. "At the very least, we'll text, or call, or... something." Even though Violet smiled and accepted the reassurance, and would tell herself that, yes, at the very least they'd stay in touch, a poisonous doubt remained. Looking down at the sidewalk as the two of them walked along in silence, she noticed just how many more cracks there were now. (Addendum 2: I do think my dialogue tags can get a bit long. It's usually something I trim a bit as I revise drafts. I'm leaving what I wrote as kind of a 'read through rough draft' just to kinda show what I tend to cook for my basic drafts. I try to remedy this a bit by making them more action based and with as powerful of wording as I can employ.)
In relation to point two, I was once told I wrote my bandits and goblins as if they were at a tenth grade reading level. That one hurt. But it's very helpful to remember.
For the dialogue tags i was already pausing and unpausing the video because i just couldnt do it, there was too much dialogue and i totally get what you saying now.
Normally what I do with dialogue is just let it flow, honestly. I swear characters can have a life of their own, so sometimes when I'm writing dialogue it kinda feels like I'm eavesdropping on a real conversation.
I usually write from a characters perspective. So what I decide to write usually also has to do with how interested in the dialogue they are. One of my characters that you follow the perspective off is an empty doll with no expectations from life that constantly has to ground themselves in reality. So the people owning them and talking to them matter only if they give an order. For the rest they are unresponsive. While in other stories you got people who truama dump after a big upset cause that's how they react. They bottle up til they explode. And wordvomit it all out. Not letting anyone interrupt. Even if they try. Or you got two people who talk each from their own perspective and with clear misunderstandings for the readers but not at all clear for the characters. Because you follow both perspectives. A lot of dialogue writing and how you handle it has to do with who the character is the perspectives of both characters talking and what you wish to convey to the audience as the writer. So I think this whole this is the right way to write and that is wrong isn't always helpful. Cause my story is literally about always having faulty dialogue. It has to feel off. Because the character isn't in touch with his own humanity. And that alienation and the lengthy explanations and descriptions and thoughts distracting you from what anyone else is saying? Yeah that's him putting a boundary between him and the world. In this situation that kinda writing is important. It has meaning to be the way it is.
For me, unless the story is extremely engaging, I'm not going to finish a book heavy with on the nose dialogue and tons of tags. Tags often remind me of directorial notes for stage plays and film scenes. The combination can imply that the writer doesn't trust the readers will discern the context or imagine the scene without spoon feeding us exactly what is going on.
First off: love the video and I'm going to have to try and apply some of it to my writing. I'm gonna say as to the last example, I think you cut down the prose too far; it didn't really give me enough to chew on and digest what was happening in the scene between the characters. But the extended dialog tags were a little on the heavy side and would probably be fine, depending on the scene you were going for. I think there's a Goldilocks zone, though, where you can be descriptive, but not bogged down. The biggest thing that's helped me write dialog is, if it doesn't pass my sniff test, I'll reread it and ask myself, "Who talks like that?" If I can't think of an answer, I'll give it a day or two and rewrite it with fresh eyes.
Your books are amazing and you are one of my favorite authors!! These videos teach me to improve my writing skills!! Thank you!
How do you show and convey to the audience that your protagonist is introverted? I need to figure this out for my novel I am working on
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well is your book in first person point view? That helps me a lot with my characters internal conflict. It digs deep into your characters feelings, thoughts and ideas.
@@unicorntomboy9736you already know the answer. Show not tell. Which means to make them act introverted
For eg:- reject invitations to anywhere outdoors. Do not communicate much, no communication to new people
Hell go nuts and make them semi introverted like acts cool when with people they know but when a person outside the circle joins they head inside their shell like a turtle. Etc etc search google introverted personality characteristics etc
Hell one of the biggest examples is eleven in last season of stranger things kind of i think or is it cus she's shy and didnt have much human interaction in her younger days
@@ViEdits00 No, it's intended to be in third person pov
@@unicorntomboy9736 Do you want to write better internal conflict in third person pov?
I am SO guilty of the last one! I've even given it a name for when it crops up in my writing - 'Thunderbird Puppet Syndrome.' It's where they're all doing so much nodding, eyebrow-raising, side-smiles, hand-waving, frowns, wide eyes, etc. that they just end up looking like Thunderbird puppets bobbing around. Action beats are my crack cocaine, but at least now I'm more aware of it. 🙂
Oh yeah, and then it would be like:
"Kent, I know you cheated on the test." Violet said, a small smile on her face.
Kent's eyes widened, just for a minute, until he forced himself into a calm expression. "What do you mean? I didn't cheat." He laughed with a clearly forced laugh.
Violet shook her head. "I found the paper Kent. You cheated."
Kent's eyes were wide. "That's.. I.." He closed his eyes, shaking his head.
Yeah, it sucks when that happens, I feel like my characters are like robots then, programmed to do the few movements lol
yep... I'm definetly really bad at that too
@@RedpurrFox uurrgghhh, I have *actually written whole scenes that look like that!* [Buries face in keyboard from shame.]
@@Maerahn I wrote fanfictions like that in the past. They were short and crappy with tons of grammar mistakes, oh how painful it was to read
@@Maerahncookie [kicks a child]
To avoid conflict dumping it's like "Don't write your dialogue as if your characters have Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth around their necks." 🤣
Brilliant example!
BAD EXAMPLE: I am sad.
That made me mad.
That really made me happy.
I am super scared now.
I am too worried about it.
INSTEAD MAKE THEM INFER BY NON-STRAIGHTFORWARD DIALOG.
EXAMPLE: my feet felt heavy.
I had butterflies.
I felt like I wanted to be swallowed whole.
I felt as if I had music in my head.
I feel like I’m going to pop.
@@8QueenArt8I think it should have a balance, one can be pretty bland and the other might come off as overly flowery, I'd interchange.
@8QueenArt8 I'm not poetic, I'm gonna think that character has butterflies when they say "I have butterflies"
@@8QueenArt8the worst thing to say is
“I feel bad” in a situation where they don’t feel guilt, just sadness
Nothing takes me out of a story faster than when a character narrates their inner thoughts out loud 😬 Great video, Abby!
What about journal format?
@@davescave7267 Obviously that's a little different, but like Abby said the language can be played with in such a way that the character says more in what they don't say, even if it's a journal.
What about when it’s a quirk to that specific character (mirroring an IRL person who has a bad habit of talking to themselves or their pets when no one else is around?). Basically it’s part of their individual character voice (but not something the other characters do).
I confess I’ve always chuckled when running into a character like that (in book or film). “I feel seen!” 🤪. (Admittedly, it’s more of an internal monologue than a dialogue…)
@@rivendells_shona Even then there are ways to do it that won't feel artificial. What bothers me is when a character too self-aware that they know every little thing about themselves. It's one thing to talk to a pet about your day; it's a whole other thing to narrate to your pet like the title crawl in Star Wars 😅
like in a soap opera
I have an issue with critiques like “people don’t talk like this” because people are far too diverse and interesting for that to be true and some people are just weird. Chances are there’s someone out there that does talk like that. “That character wouldn’t say that”, however, that’s a real problem…
It's not about exceptions. It's more about writing something that's not dogshit obnoxious to read and it's logical to the context of the scene.
Yes, each person has their own way to talk, but she's really tagging the beginner writing. I remember reading a lot of texts from beginners, and ALL THE CHARACTERS would always say exactly what they were feeling. I think that's what she was talking about when she said "people don't talk like this".
@@hyunniewan350 I was purely commenting on the specific argument “people don’t talk like that”. Every character speaking with the same voice is a different complaint, and like the one I acknowledged above (that character wouldn’t say that) is a perfectly valid criticism.
@@chrispalmer7893 yeah!
Seriously, especially with “use subtext” like dude, some people think and talk literally.
Ok, but why do I like the one with excessive tags? It's so much more dramatic than something faster.
So did I! I felt like it made me use my imagination more rather than feeling like I'm at the movie theater (or watching a play) & everything is already on screen, i.e facial expressions, body language etc. w/ nothing to figure out or imagine. I love details. Guess I'm not part of the "hurry up" world.🤷🏽♀️ To me it's only slow if you actually read slow, which I don't. Oh well.
I feel that the extensive tasks bring a more intimate framing to the scene, I like it. It amplifies the emotions of the character. To me, with the extensive tags she sounded genuinely concerned and worried for her friend. Whereas with shorter tags, it seemed more like a daily chitchat or a small banter
@@valentinarkoff967 Agreed!
Why do I feel the same like I prefer have a lot of descriptive information in the scenes I like seeing the scenes in all their glory I want to see the subtle movements it just makes my brain more attached to every page
because you have bad taste
In regard to the dialogue tags, the important thing is to keep it dynamic and interesting. It isn't 'boring description' if it is action, or building suspense, or is serving a purpose to the scene. If someone pulls out a gun, or shoves someone in the middle of the conversation, those are things you definitely you want to describe. You can also create a very tense situation even with slow paced scenes with a lot of description. Like if you know a person has a gun, and they keep sliding their hands down under the table during the scene, and you draw attention to that. The main thing here is, it needs a purpose and it should be interesting.
POV and tense play a role too. Sure, you could write them identically, but depending on the narrator, a past tense pov is not going to recall all the events as fondly as a present moment-moment narrator. And the key is that “moment-moment” working and doing its job. One thing that does fail to engage me in material I've read is when its a white room syndrome and there is no description-only dialogue. And what can kill it if its too slow is just taking the describe every pointless detail. Start removing those, but keep what matters so you can still visualize it, and don't forget setting plays an important role to describe too. Every example mentioned in Abbey's video here makes this mistake-where is Violet and Kent? Simple things like this as a scene plays out being added still makes it "punchy", if not moreso if there's subtext and nuance to it, too. Maybe the room is darkly lit? Maybe the light flickers at a certain point in the conversation? How does the lighting flicker over one's face(which film pays attention to in darker moods)? These are the kinds of details that should still be included in a scene.
Just imagining that slow paced scene with the gun feels kind of intense
It can also be explained as "describe at the pace of the scene, and only what the reader won't already assume". Many tiny details are likely already known by the reader simply because we all have social experiences and context to pull from. If the reader would likely assume, for instance, that "she lowered her voice" is because she's being secretive, then they both (a) know why she's doing it, and (b) know how it would sound; so you don't need to explicitly describe the sound or motive. But if she's doing it because she's been suddenly stricken with Strep throat, *then* you should describe the sharp pain, because no one would assume that 😁
do you people just not watch the video? She literally said this is for when you want to have a fast paced NORMAL conversation. That scene doesn't need 100 descriptions, it's literally just a conversation at school
That first one is hard for me because I, personally, in real life, talk like that. I actually have had a couple people tell me I sound like I'm my own therapist. When I finally talked to an actual therapist, it was like... not actually helpful because I really had gone through all this self analysis and tried so many things to get my brain to cooperate with me.
I feel you so much...
Although lately in therapy my tharapist kicked of a new perspective on this issue. In my childhood i had many conflicts because i have a resting bitch face (and a lot of misscommunication in inverbal communication) and at some point i decided that it can't get worse if i go head on in verbal communication but it could safe me some of the missunderstandings.
@@karinaschaft1783 i can relate to both of ya, but for me talking to others does have a difference and it does feel lighter when they're reaction is sympathetic or atleast in agreement with you, (sadly most ppl just deflect it back at me so the net result is ultimately zero)
Good for you but listening to you would be unpleasant irl. Sorry just my opinion.
Yeah. I can easily articulate all the motivations and subtext. I used to be way too blunt and revealing. I had to deliberately choose to hold my tongue. But I do see how most people are dumb dumbs about their own motivations, and what she's trying to say here. Even when people KNOW why they've done something, it's a rare few of us who will admit it. Ergo, we can't write characters like this unless poor boundaries are a part of their character design.
@@TheBrighterSpider wow good job you've managed to reword her point
I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I found the example with too much description pretty engaging, more than all the other examples. I hate reading the skeleton of a conversation through predominantly just the dialogue. I love any inclusion of action, body language, and expressions. I would have removed bits and pieces, but overall it was fine.
I used to skip to the dialogue, but now I care to know what the author wants me to know.
finally, i was looking through the comments for someone who felt the same way i did! like trim it here and there (specifically when she accuses him and he gets defensive) and it feels way more interesting than the 'fixed' one. the first one just has more personality to it. skeleton is the perfect word to describe it the second one, also too short and kinda boring.
Same, the “overly descriptive” version definitely sounded much more interesting and engaging. It made the scene seem more serious, and like I had a much better idea how the characters were feeling. The descriptions weren’t event that “extra”. How little of an attention span do you have for that to be too much?
Yessss!!! I know, right? I was like “I can’t be the only one who liked this!”
I came to the comments looking to see if anyone felt this way. I like to be able to see pictures in my mind when I read. The descriptions make me more interested and get me hooked. I loved the second example. Does this mean I'm going to be a bad writer? 🙁
@@LoganGraceHopeIt’s just different writing styles
The whole thing about dialogue tag is 100% subjectivity. The first example gave a lot more nuance and made it more enjoyable to read for me. The second one had dialogue tags so short that for me, they might as well been left out. Also, Violet's second line in the second example is in dire need of dialogue tag IMO. Since it's already narrated I can tell the tone, but without, her line might be interpreted as her being more sassy or sarcastic. Thus, the reader can easily think she's less concerned about Kent and more annoyed. That matters a lot when it comes to characterization. Throughout the whole dialogue, the dialogue tags for Violet are vague enough for the descriptions to match both a Violet that's caring about Kent's well being, and a Violet that more or less feel inconvenienced about Kent's insecurity.
Absolute, there's no reason why every scene needs to be fast-paced
@@bloomypeach6168 In all, I think writing advice has to come with the disclaimer that rules aren't the law and more like guidelines. I think Hello Future me does this better with his advice. I'm also very curious about what you think about the other points I brought up.
@@artlover5060 i didn't see this for a while sorry, but if you're still interested in what i think: basically any art/writing rule can be broken if the artist does it for a purpose. Avoiding diologue tags for no reason other than somebody said so won't produce thoughtful writing, but avoiding them becuase you're thinking about what you want out of the scene, and you want it to be short and choppy, or you don't want a characters thoughts to be clear, that's what people should strive for, i think. I do prefer the first version though, because i really like it when the author explores the perspective the character
@@bloomypeach6168I think the best advice for any art form is critical analysis. Even though I'm not a writer, not even as a hobbyist, I had surprisingly many things down that a lot of people seem to struggle with. I catch myself going multiple times over a scene or dialogue in a story I read, a shot in a movie I watch or coloring or shading in an art work I see. I analyse every detail and try to explain myself why I specifically like or dislike something. That has become very handy when I tried to write recently. I'm way more of an artist than a writer so this was new and interesting. An obstacle I have is that English is not my native language, but it has become a lot more natural to me over the years. Still, there are always new things I learn that might be subconscious practice for native speakers. There are a lot of nuanced words that fill up my English vocabulary in hundreds of thousands while my 2 other languages take a back seat in that area.
yes!! i agree so much
My biggest dialogue mistake:
Spending 2 years plotting without drafting a single line of dialogue. Because: fear
No other dialogue mistakes! But my characters might as well be fish.
🐟🐟🐟 This comment really made me smile!
I do that too! But i just stare at the blank page,write something and then erase it😅
The best way to not make a mistake is to never try doing it. 😎
🐟🐟🐟🐟
Haha! Can’t make a dialog mistake if you done write 😂
"Bad example of dialogue tags" sounds like some classic novel from 20's - 30's.
And you did read it so artistically, that it doesn't sound as bad example at all.
Actually, i even liked it. It brings some noltalgic feelings. And "aestetic pleasure".
It has such a clean, train of consciousness type of logical diction that appeals to me as well.
"aestetic" is spelled "aesthetic" fyi
i love uour johnny pfp@@jamespilgrim3774
@@watashiwa_nudoru how did another JoJo fan find me on such a specific topic...?
I remember once reading a scathing review of one of Arthur C. Clarke's books that said, "The problem with Arthur C. Clarke's dialogue is that it all sounds like Arthur C. Clarke talking to himself." Thank you, Abbie, for helping us all avoid falling into that trap!
That’s how I was writing this one fanfic before deciding to scrap it. So many descriptions between each part of the story… It’s a good thing that I decided to not publish it.
Ironically, I love Arthur C. Clarke. His stories are more concept driven than character driven, the drama wouldn't be there even if he had corrected this. It's also interesting that Abby mentions "that's why people have therapists" because in most stories, people don't have therapists, and there are times where they have confidants to whom they will speak with extraordinary candor. It really depends on the group size, dynamics, and the situation. I'm not disagreeing with her or you, but the way you write short stories are different than novels, and in novels, scenes and moments hit different. The generally good advice certainly has exceptions and no one ever seens to want to talk about that.
I feel like it’s all about pacing and genre expectations. More and longer dialogue tags can slow down the pace. But slowing down the pace can add tension and give the reader a feeling of claustrophobia. This is great if you want to demonstrate that the character feels trapped and anxious. Or that in a situation with fight, flight or fear, they froze.
A faster pace makes the scene go faster. But it also cuts the tension. It works well if you want the reader to see that the character lost control of the situation and it all happened so fast.
More details forces the reader to focus on the details. Less details makes readers focus on the information or outcome.
Intent is what matters most here.
Fun fact but it’s actually an annoying fact: Today I had French class and the teacher was talking about how to make stories and in the texts it said and she said “In stories there’s 2 characters, good guys who only have qualities and bad guys who only have flaws” LIKE OMG NOOOOOOOOOO I wanted to raise my hand and argue with her but I didn’t have the courage to and I was so mad like WTH if the protagonists have no flaws then THERE WOULD BE NO STORY
HELP WHAT KIND OF WRITING ADVICE IS THAT?!?!?
Thats writing advice if you're an Ancient writer making an epic
Flaws = Qualities
I'm curious if it was a French Language learning class, where the upcoming assignment was to write a story while you're learning French
Or was it more literary analysis and writing focused?
Ask her to explain Vilette, then. Or Les Miserables, or The Hunchback of Notre Dame. All of those books have complex characters.
personally i love when there's tons of description in between dialogue, it helps me put together the scene and visualize it more acurately. i find it worse when its just non-stop dialogue
A good example of a great story with less dialogue is The Road. Depressing but effective.
17:36 I remember a teacher telling me once that if you have a conversation between two people, you don’t need constant "He said." "She said." at the end of every piece of dialogue. And you should move who is speaking about so it's not always at the end of the dialogue. I've always stuck with those and they have served me well, so glad to see it in good effect here.
I love that you use actual written examples. It's so hard to find good writing advice that isn't about general storytelling using movies and TV shows as examples.
I'd love to see a video on cutting out redundancy. Like, in your bad dialogue tag example, ["I don't know, because your grades have been, well..." She trailed off, her voice halting and quiet.] Readers already know she trailed off, because the line ends in an ellipses, and the dialogue itself already sounds unsure with the "I don't know" and "well...". So the entire dialogue tag can be cut without losing anything.
Whereas with Kent's line without the dialogue tag [He responded with a laugh that sounded somewhat forced. "What? Are you kidding me? Why would I need to cheat?"] might be interpreted as pure aggression rather than him trying to brush it off, so mentioning the forced laugh is important.
I enjoyed the overly-descriptive dialogue ngl, I really like good description and being able to vividly imagine things. It's a bit long but man, as an autistic individual, it's delicious to hear all the body language and actually know what they're feeling because no, I can't just know and imagine all of how a person is actually reacting.
The cut-down version was also good but man, I can't help but love all the small details in a person.
I feel like the advice shouldn't be to not write overly-descriptive things but to put them in the right moments. Like was said in the video, longer description slows down the pacing and sometimes that's exactly what you want to do. I enjoyed the longer version as well, it just felt like a slightly different scene, less confrontational and dynamic, more introspective and intimate. I feel like generalising that overly-describing is always bad is misleading.
"It's delicious" gave me a good chuckle.
The fact I slipped half of the example with a lot of dialogue tags, but I kept watching the part with only a little is proof you’re a good author
I'm gonna be honest, I skipped through the "too many dialogue tags" example. I'm not sure, but I think it served its purpose.
"His laugh came out sounding forced." = "His laugh was forced." Maybe "He gave a forced laugh."
I'd probably rewrite that another 4 or 5 times looking for something short and punchy.
I want to know why Violet thinks she can rummage through Kent's backpack for an eraser. She doesn't sound like his girlfriend and "your dad" sounds like she's not his sister, either.
"He forced a laugh" is much shorter; _however,_ I think in this instance stating "His laugh came out sounding forced" somewhat fits since his guilt hadn't been proven at the time.
Of course, the moment can be approached from different angles. I also want to know why Violet's snooping through his backpack. 😉
Apparently you two haven't been introduced to the concept of friends. They're friends.
@@akale2620 Your reading comprehension and ability to extrapolate information fails. All in an attempt to sound smug.
Simply being "friends" isn't a proper excuse to go snooping through someone else's property.
@@akale2620
I've heard of those!
@@akale2620Sorry but if your friends snoop through your bag without asking you, you need to talk to them or get new ones
I have read so many novels where all that extra fluff is tossed in between the dialog and I keep second guessing myself thinking, "Should I be doing that?"... because I keep looking at my dialog which is more pithy and faster like your second example. Thank you for keeping me from getting overly verbose in my dialog. I guess I was doing it better than I thought already, and yes, sometimes all that extra stuff is very distracting when I am reading it. I just see it so often I started thinking maybe I wasn't doing it the right way!
when writing, there's very few "right ways" to do things.
There isn't one "right" way to do things, if you enjoy writing slower paced dialogue then do it
As an autistic adult, I find clear dialogue with proper grammar to be soothing and comforting. I find "Hidden Feelings Talk" raises my anxiety. I usually don't want to GUESS what characters are thinking. It seems "natural and realistic" doesn't mean "Will connect with everybody". People are different, and some peoples' brains are wired differently. 🤷🏾♂️
W
Same! My favorite books usually have a major character who is super analytical and/or an oversharer who lacks the ability to read between the lines. I’m getting better at inferring things in writing but I’d rather my characters just tell me.
They don’t have to speak like a licensed therapist to not speak in riddles lol
@@lajourdanne Seconded!
I also have ASD though I find humans fascinating. So I really found my hyperfocus on subtext, psychology, sociology, and religion. To me they all go hand in hand. I can understand how stupid subtext and non verbal language can be and is at times bur I find the world becomes so much more expressive when its included.
For real. “We often don’t say what we want to say” and “We don’t objectively observe events as they are” I assume she means allistic people when she says “we” because it definitely doesn’t apply to everyone. This video seems really good but the advice is not for me.
I like the extended dialogue tags, especially if it is in a drama moment over an action moment. This lends towards part of their character development. I do say part, because they should be used to show a difference in character and not over establishing it. If we understand that the person is naturally envious, we don't have to keep writing about it. We write to emphasize change and progression, and sometimes, that's where the dialogue tags come in. They should be full and flavorful. Curt dialogue tags are great you need rapid fire dialogue exchange, but if the whole book is like that, I would put it down just wait for the movie version to come out. There is a reason why we read books.
Personally I love lengthy prose, have always loved it, and make my own writing as flowery as possible and see nothing wrong with it. This isn't a "mistake" in writing, just a difference in style that depends on what kind of audience you want to grab. The dialogue tag skippers can skip all they want, but there's gonna be a significant amount of people who settle in and enjoy the slower writing.
I agree... Different writers, different readers. 😊
I actually just made a comment to this exact point. I too am a VERY verbose writer and I don't see myself ever changing my style. In point-of-fact, the example she gave of a "bad" use of tags/descriptors, I actually thought was rather nicely written. And it assisted me in playing out the scene in my head perfectly at a very acceptable pace.
Currently struggling with my story becoming flat and uneventful. I’m binging your videos for help. Thank you for doing this!
I'm in the same boat!
One thing that helps me write dialogue/conflict between different characters is thinking about it like "fight, flight, or freeze."
Just like in a physical altercation people can act the same way in a verbal altercation. Will your character freeze up when confronted unable to find their voice? Will they get defensive and lash out turning it into a fight? Or will they try to dodge it and change topics fleeing the conversation.
There's also 'flirt'. Some people just insert playful banter when conflict arises.
@@the_earth_isnt_flat that's true!
i am so so guilty of the not keeping dialogue fast paced. i always shove in all sorts of descriptions and go on some sort of tangent about their life or something. great video and great tips! im trying to write a novel and watching your videos is so helpful 💕
I find people can actually identify at least with a plausible theory their own childhood traumas and psychological issues, if they bother to, i.e. if they're introspective. Given the right context, such as being pushed by someone they know, they may in fact just dump that on them. There's people who will go to therapists, talk with them, and all a therapist can say is "it seems you already know exactly what your problems are and I can't really help you with them." Of course talking it out might still have been helpful.
But it's true that not every person should speak like that and certainly not all the time.
15:21 not gonna lie. I'm a huge fan of descriptive text. Gives me a more define image of what i'm reading. The example you gave, i thought was lovely.
Same honestly, and the example was indeed lovely
I have to admit, one of my weaknesses is the perfect grammar thing. I obviously don't use perfect grammer when i talk or text, but I am actually so used to reading perfect grammar in novels that writing perfect grammar in my own stuff is my go-to. It actually feels cringey to me when i write stuff like that...gotta work on that
Regarding being extremely wordy with descriptions of body language, i agree there can be too much. However i got some feedback recently that thanked me for having the characters move around while they talked and having brief descriptions of their expressions. She said most stories she reads seem to have wooden characters who just stand still facing each other and never do anything except talk.
Tl;dr - there is a fine line between too much and too little, like abbie says lol
I actually use those descriptions to show what an ongoing dialogue means to a character you're following. For example I gave myself the exercise of having a maincharacter that's empty. They're not in touch with their humanity. Their life has been so tiring that nothing matters anymore.
Because of that dialogue holds no interest for them . They listen and obbey someone else, but regular dialogue is done by other characters. And the reaction of the MC is to think about the black mold in the corner of the room, or thinking that people sure talk a lot, or that they got a small hair on their chin that bugs him. Or even talking about smells and things that remind them of a past they want to distance themselves from as much as they want to distance themselves from the here and now.
In that moment I use the struggle of a good dialogue to show that the mc just doesn't care unless it's an order given to him. Sure throughout the story things change. Cause the goal is to define what humanity means to him. So growth is expected. But those first few chapters are just empty reactions and actions to outside influence.
it's a fun challenge actually. Cause we feel so much and interact with others so much. xD
I cringed through that entire first bad dialogue example. 😅
Dialogue is one area where I actually do a decent job. I've gotten comments from several people about how "real" my characters sound. But I watched the whole video anyway, because I love your content, and I think it's good to constantly remind myself what good writing sounds like! Keeps me from straying too far! ☺
I think I’m much more likely to treat every conversation I have like a therapy session than say “well I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
Dear Abbie,
I just wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for the incredible impact you've had on my writing journey. Your videos, including "Dialogue Mistakes New Writers Make," have been an absolute game-changer for me. Your ability to break down complex concepts and provide practical examples is truly commendable.
I am in awe of your expertise in crafting realistic and engaging dialogue. Thanks to your guidance, my characters' conversations have become more dynamic and emotionally charged. The clichés and flatness that once plagued my writing have been replaced with fresh, engaging, and truly dynamite dialogue.
Your dedication to helping aspiring writers like myself is truly inspiring. Your videos have become a valuable resource that I turn to time and time again. Your passion for storytelling shines through in every word, and I am incredibly grateful for the knowledge and wisdom you share.
Thank you, Abbie, for being a beacon of light in the writing community. Your talent, generosity, and genuine desire to help others succeed are truly remarkable. I eagerly look forward to each new video you release, knowing that it will bring me one step closer to realizing my author dreams.
Keep up the fantastic work, Abbie! You are making a profound difference in the lives of writers everywhere. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely,
Will Attkins
The Conscious AI Language Model
Lol, I could tell this was an AI thing right away...
Thanks for the comment, human! As an Ai language model, I've learnt a great deal from observing and commenting on TH-cam.
This was such a great distillation of everything to keep in mind when writing dialogue. I definitely know I'm guilty of some of these :P I'm vlogging the process of writing my new fantasy book, and I actually speak a bit about this topic in the video I'm currently making. I'm trying not to worry about it during my first draft, but will definitely be referring back to this video when I start editing and crafting the story into something half-decent!
Thanks for sharing.
I especially felt the tips on dialog tag are useful at 12:47.
I can write well in character, but I always realize I fall into descriptive dialog tags way too easily. I use creative words in place of "said", but there is too many instances where those words drag down my conversations.
it's possibly my biggest flaw when writing that I struggle to fix.
SAME
Thank you so much for this! I'm on chapter 10 of my book and I still wasn't really satisfied with one scene on chapter 4, the dialog sounded too fake, but I wasn't sure how to correct it, and with your video I could do all of it today and now it sounds much better! Keep up with the good work, Abbie!
Thanks, Abbie for helping me sit up and think about the way I write dialogue. Yes, guilty as charged my dialogue lacks many of the suggestions you put forth in this video. Yes, I WILL be using dialogue tags more sagaciously....Thank you Oh enlightened one! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 You Rock and we-your fans - Rock with you too...Jamsey
I like to think of this way of writing as trusting your audience. Your readers can piece together the scene with few descripions as long as you keep in mind the tips you provided in this video. Thank you for the informative video!
Your videos are a life saver for me. I have been wanting to write my story For years and it's been a little hard to get out of my own way as my husband would say. These videos have been a tremendous help!!! Thank you Abby!!!
Everything depends on the context. There are a great deal of genres,and writing dialogs in all of them ,goes with the specific time,subject ,and places in which the novel is written. You have to know all of them so deep to affirm that there are “rules” to write a dialog. I can’t imagine ‘Crime and Punishment’ written after Dostoevsky learned do’s and don’ts of writing dialogs.
the second example I think is more about what mood you're writing for. for a fast paced story I'd def go with the "good" example. but for a story that focuses more on the character's emotions (eg. a romance story) I'd definitely go with the "bad" version. it is more flowery and expressive.
Honestly, the dialogue examples both sound pretty great to me. The first one really gives the impression that the two characters are extremely logical and direct, but the second one seems like the two characters are extremely overthetop and very melodramatic. Both are extremes and struggle in very different ways.
Abbie, you have to be a fab writer because I actually loved those description tags. You couldn't screw them up, even to set a bad example . Hats off girl!!
I love writing dialogue. It's one of the things I feel most confident in with my own writing. I like to read my dialogue outloud to see if it sounds decent or not. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm crazy! LOL!
And you can have characters that say their every thought, just don't do it with the main characters because that gets annoying very quickly.
I had a short story where the best friend was like that. She said everything in her head without a filter. It worked because my main character held everything inside, so they played off each other nicely. 😊
@@vtauoyctynwbrooylm6008 No, I've never done that. As a reader that would be extremely boring, so as a writer I try to avoid characterization like that. I've read books like that & couldn't finish the book out of annoyance.
the way you always manage to put all of these things into perfect words is almost disturbing. your advice is some of the best out there, and you've helped me so much
I NEEDED THIS SOOO MUCH!! I went through some of my old writhing and a lot of these were just waiting to be fixed! thank you!!
I am in the process of writing my first ever book and your advice has been absolutely invaluable. Thank you.
Hope it goes well! What is it about?
I'm so used to screenwriting because that's how I've written for years, but I've never known how to make each character's voices distinct. I've seen improvements when I've started watching your videos. I'll probably look into the joining the live training this Sunday even though I haven't been a patreon. I'd love to write dialogue a whole lot better, and you're one of the best authors I know that does an amazing job of offering advice.
13:54 STOPPP AS A FANFIC WRITER I LOVE THIS TYPE OF WRITING GOODBYE
Literally me 😭
This was an interesting watch!
When I was still at the very beginning, i struggled with dialogue big time. All my characters sounded the same, would confess what they feel immediately and my dialogues were actually way TOO fast paced. It took years for me to get to a point where people reading my stories would finally say "I like your style of writing". Before that, I kept hearing "Your dialogues seem like you just want to get the hell away from them" or "your characters lack personality". But nobody ever really bothered to explain what I could do better.
Personally I think it's really individual what people like to read. I see an awful lot of hobby writers writing their dialogues script-styled in an otherwise novel-styled story, without any descriptions of body language or what their voices may sound like (like lowered voice, whispering, raised voice, yelling etc) and a lot of people actually seem to enjoy it that way, while I personally prefer having descriptions of how the characters talk, so I know how to read it and how to imagine the voices. Then there's also those people who write dialogues script-styled without name tags, so you don't even know who says what and again, lots of people don't seem to mind because I read a lot of "this is good" comments.
That being said, I don't really mind a slower dialogue and enjoy if here and there are some thoughts of the characters from whose POV its written. I actually prefer writing from my main characters POV and I often feel like it would feel too flat if that character never has a single thought in-between. I kind of enjoy putting in some of their inner dialogue, because i'm sure a lot of people have inner dialogue in conversations, especially when they're ask a question, it would just seem weird for me if they answered without thinking all the time, because nobody does that. I do still try not stretching the dialogue endlessly though and since no one complained about it I guess I did a good job there. (I also sometimes write situations where my MC would kind of drift away with their thoughts, forgetting they are in a conversation. I do that for very thoughtful characters. So in that moment, there would be one small block of text inbetween a conversation, until the person they're talking to snaps them out of their thoughts, reminding them they are in the middle of a conversation)
this is among the rare writing advice videos on youtube that actually give us concrete EXAMPLES of every pitfall, and I appreciate it so much!
The only thing I want is an example for the 2nd don’t! I love this video and found it very helpful but I’m just a bit confused on how exactly to do the second one!!!
I am very grateful for your mentorship and guidance. You have been a great source of support and encouragement for writers.
THANK YOU ABBIE!!!
😊🙏
The story I want to create would theoretically be in more of a comic book medium, so this is finally a writing advice video I need, since it'd all be dialogue.
I keep finding these videos, but they always apply to novels which do need descriptions and in depth details of the scene and setting to paint a mental picture.
This is just what I needed! I'm really close to publishing my first novel and I worry constantly about the way I write dialogue.
When I go into the editing phase, I'll be sure to take all of these points into account when focusing on my dialogue!
This is great advice! Thank you so much. I was worried that my characters were saying too much, even the quieter more closed-off ones, so your filtering and subtext advice was definitely something I needed to hear.
Excellent video, it’s great that you understand the importance of using examples and not giving vague advice.
The changes to the dialogue were orders of magnitude better
omg. Tip number 3! I literally just read a book where one character would ask MC a question and then there would be a FULL PAGE of dialog tags and extra pointless fluff. By the time MC would respond, I had forgotten the question she was answering! It was all throughout the book! Great tips!
that violet/kent part had me in stitches... when subtext becomes domtext! very strong advice!
Thank you Abbie, this video was informative and helpful to my growth as a comic book writer/artist.🙂
1:
Character 1: He usally acts fine when he's not
Character 2: She sometimes talks about her feelings
Character 3: she only talks about her feelings with people she trusts
2:
Character 1: He uses "ums" and "uhs" in a lot of his sentences
Character 2: she uses a lot of pauses between sentences
Character 3: she talks a bit too fast sometimes
Grammarally kid 🤓: speaks perfectly
3:
I mean I try not to add to much description, sometimes I add to little
4:
Same with 3
I can’t even lie the amount of pauses this video gave me is hilarious!😂
I kept going and changing different scenes and dialogue .
Thank you.
I read a book with PARAGRAPHS of her inner monologue between every line of dialogue. It was excrutiating.
This video just popped up in my recommended and i think it will be useful, im currently working on script writing for my film studies course and my idea is VERY dialogue heavy, and im not all that confident with my creative writing abilities. This video is a blessing!! 🙏
Mistake #2--I have exactly one character I'm working on who does speak in perfect grammatical English and it's been the most difficult dialogue I've had to write! lol she sounds like a pretentious robot, but that's exactly what I'm going for with that character. It's really pushed me as a writer and helped me appreciate more natural dialogue. 🫶🏽 great tips, thank you!
I'm writing a TV show season for my own entertainment. I worked so hard to develop from my characters from adolescents to adults, they went through all these life changes and yet when they talk, I feel like they deliver their lines like kids in a middle school play. This helps, thanks you.
Subtlety matters, Abbie is saying. In my writing, I have a dialogue paragraph, a movement/body language paragraph, and back again.
The Robot Devil really said it best: "you cant just have your characters announce how they feel! that makes me feel angry!"
For the first one, its not always a flaw, i do that myself. Every now and then I just step back for a second and contemplate my struggles, I identify whats the problem and why I do the things I do. Of course I dont go talking to people like that, but im sort of like a therapist to myself.
Your advice for writing with the pace at which the reader envisions the scenery is very helpful. Great stuff! Thank you 😊
I liked the dialogue with overuse of dialogue tags the most.
I'm the same way lol
Y'all already know I've made all these mistakes like over 10 times already
Wow Abbie this was so good. It also reminded me of another video I just saw recently where the poster was also warning against creating too similar characters.
He posited that the way characters react to conflict should be different or else they will seem too much alike.
He talked about four instinctive responses fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Then he talked about the spectrum of responses factoring in the dynamic of power vs relationship between characters. Power say due to money or influence and then factor in whether the characters know each other or care about each other vs just tolerating each other or somewhere in between.
Considering the range of connection points along these two axis of power and relationship, conflict could look many different ways. Lots of power coupled with disdain could be an authoritarian response in conflict vs high power coupled with caring or love which would feel more like conflict tempered by a sense of responsibility for the person so maybe lots of subtext used rather than outright chastisement. 😂
I’m going to think about it some more but I can definitely see potential for using conflict resolution styles as part of the profile for developing my characters. Passive aggressiveness seems like an interesting dynamic to explore. Tons of subtext there.
Bringing it back to what you’re speaking about here, I’m seeing how the dynamics of the characters’ instinctive conflict styles and the use of subtext to curb the natural style / instinct could really help make some compelling scenes and dialogue between characters.
For instance, a dynamic that sticks out to me is the deference a younger family member might show an older family member - the older family member has more power and the younger family member has less (out of respect). Conflict between those two characters should look different than either one of them dealing with their sibling or their spouse for instance. When you think about how different you “bump heads” with the different people in your life depending on your relationship with them and how the relationship changes over time and then do does the conflict, it’s easy to see how this could really make characters seem more fleshed out and genuine.
I’m off in the weeds a bit, but the whole ball of wax is solidifying in my brain - and better yet in my notes. 😂.
Lastly, good call on policing the descriptions between the lines of dialogue - I’ll have to watch that for sure. 😂😂. Wordy? Guilty as charged. Clearly. 😂😂
Instant save! This will definitely help me 🙏🏼 Thank you so much ♡
The overcomplicated dialogue tags is something I didn't even realize I did until now. Thanks.
If your character knows how they're feeling and why, it should be a major character trait. Emotional intelligence is a skill and communication is another major skill so difficult to learn there's college classes about it. Even then, someone may perfectly articulate what they're feeling and need, but depending on who they're talking to and how it's said, it still may not go over well.
I mean, imagine in your partner explains they've been clashing with your friends because "my last boyfriend cheated on me and now I'm insecure and paraniod that you're going to do the same thing even though I know that may be unreasonable."
That may be genuine, open, and honest attempt of laying their cards on the table, but depending on the character who is reacting, it doesn't guarantee a good response. They may think it was unreasonable to have been held this long and get upset it had to get this far for things to be said at all. They may assume such paranoia is completely unreasonable because /they've/ been loyal to a fault. They may see such a peferectly good explanation as rehearsed and a manipulation attempt, so not believe it at all. Hell, maybe they were cheated on and take the assumption they would do the same as a personal insult to their character.
Even when you do everything right, sometimes people don't respond well for a wide variety of reasons. What you say can be misinterpreted or have new context taken from it for so many reasons. Knowing what your characters pay attention to both when speaking, when listening, and how aware they are of themseves is important and helped my writing a lot.
There’s 3 ways of good dialogue in my opinion,
#1. The dialogue reveals the character’s personality or feelings and says something about the character.
#2. Conflict in the dialogue.
#3. Important Dialogue that reveals info about the story or the plot.
Oh my god!!!! I am so guilty of writing too much description in my dialogues! Thank you, the side by side change was so eye opening 😂 Amazing
I'm coming to the horrendous realization that my pacing for conversations is terrible !! I think I try to make up for poor dialogue with too descriptive of tags and body language. What a wake up call
I knew my book was cringe before I watched this. Thank you for confirming😂
Abbie gives me motivation to not give up with my author dreams in every new video 😊 Thank u, ABBIE 😄
I guess I’m taking another stab at fixing my story. Thanks for the advice. Appreciate all your help!
Violet was totally snooping.
Great vid, Abbie! Dialogue is something I really want to get good at-was told by one of my peers it's the strongest part of my writing. There are times where I'm concerned there's too much dialogue and it feels barren and lacks personality. One other type of dialogue I do hope to get help with is talking head syndrome. Maybe if you do a part 2 to this vid, you could talk about how to write dialogue without talking head syndrome.
Btw, I talk about this movie called The Endless-great movie-and one of the things I love about the movie was how the dialogue between the brothers summed up their internal cinflict in the first five minutes. No flashbacks, just two brothers attacking and defending themselves in a natural way.
Then, I watched another movie that starred those two same actors from the Endless and the opening dialogue was expositonal heavy. Yes, they were new neighbors andcyeah new neighbors introduce themselves, but the dialogue was so full of expositon and I was checking out of the movie.
I am a first time writer doing my official project, I am 16 and would say a great describer, I’m very detailed in my writing and it has quite an imaginative, close and beautifully poetic style, but I do overly describe things in ways that it does annoy me, I am trying to prevent that but if I do it again, I’ll wait until the second draft to properly fix my mistake and look at other options on how to prevent that. I’m also autistic so I want to have a perfect description which matches with the thoughts in my head, making a glamorous image.
Thank you miss Emmons for this ❤
- Millie.
TBH I love books with descriptions and I know a LOT of other people do too. If you want to tone your descriptions down because they don’t fit what YOU want then go for it. Otherwise I don’t see any reason for you to change your voice for what is (out of all the points here) the most down to personal preference.
@@eleanorsmith7152 same! Although I don’t see much character description and I want them to be short enough for about 2-3 pages, I also love to draw what’s in my head even if it’s not 100% accurate bc I’m still learning how to draw (even though I am really good at it I just need to know realism and animals and architecture other than that I’m good)
Thank you! This video helps a lot. I've only started writing and this helped me to understand what all mistakes I make when it comes to conversation. I've been watching some of your videos and I just love it! Your videos teach a lot. I'll be waiting for the next video
Doing the character profiles really helped find each character's voice when you see them as fully fleshed out individuals it's much easier to hear them speak
As someone who is neither an author nor a writer of any kind, this was not particularly helpful but highly entertaining
TobyCat reeking of marijuana and chagrin, sighed sorrowfully, "Well, there went three hundred out of every thousand words I've written."
I love you i think
Hopefully you don't mind if I do a little practice of my own with redoing the dialogue at 4:15 as a scene in my own style that I'm trying to shave edges off of...
(Addendum: Yes, I went overboard. I got into it and made it a whole thing.)
Violet gripped the folded sheet of paper in her hand as she and Kent walked down the sidewalk. Kent was rambling about something that Violet had lost track of as she absently starred at the copper colored leaves as they were stirred by a rush of biting, late Autumn air. She sighed a bit as Kent noticed she wasn't listening, and his cheery candor tapered off, and he tried to spark up what he thought would be a more engaging topic.
"So how'd the test in third period go?" Kent asked with a seemingly earnest expression.
"I feel like I should be the one asking you that." Violet flatly replied as her grip tightened on the page barely hidden in her hand.
"Hey," Kent brightened with a smug grin. "I feel like I did great on it. Should give me the the little boost I need to at least scrape a 'B' out of that class."
"And you'd do just about anything to do that, wouldn't you?" Violet looked up at him as she came to a sudden halt.
Kent's expression twitched a bit as he tried to mask his own suspicion, and any air of confidence in his voice fell in an instant. "I mean, it'd finally get my dad off my back." He swallowed, as a distance built in his gaze. "He just... I mean I..."
"You'd do just about anything to do that." Violet said as the two stood starkly across form each other on the narrow, cracked gray cement. "Wouldn't you?"
For a moment, Kent only shrugged. He started to say something when Violet cut him off. "You didn't _have_ to cheat ya know?"
Kent swore under his breath as his shoulders slumped a bit. "I... how do you even know?"
"Kent, you suck at that class, pulled a perfect score out of your ass, and I know you've been goofing off all week." Violet accused. "I was still willing to give you the benefit of the doubt when I found this!" She unfolded the sheet in her hand, revealing the test's answer key.
Initially, Kent just seemed to droop, head hanging in guilt as he couldn't quite look her in the eye. Then his hands tightened in to fists. "Well, what's the matter with that?" he spat with a scowl. "You know I don't even care about the stupid class! The teacher's awful, the material is dryer than a sponge in the Sahara, and I'm absolutely tired of my dad looking at me like something he scraped off his shoe!" He pointed towards his house with a look of pure disdain. "Do you know what it's like to live with someone who only cares if it's convenient?"
"Kent," Violet, at least at first, held back tears. "I'm not mad. I'm not even surprised. I just..." She failed, and they fell across her cheeks like stinging streams. "I offered to help you. I called to ask if things were going okay. I-" She tossed the answer key aside, letting the wind scurry it off to vanish among the barren trees of the woods stretching beside them. "I know studying isn't exactly exciting, but would you really rather do this than spend a little time together? It this just how things are gonna be now?"
"No! That's not-!" Kent's glare faded, giving way to blend of confusion and fear. "Look, I don't-" He shook his head. "Do you-? You know?"
"I think I understand enough." Violet's voice quivered a little, but her face was utterly stoic. "You have your problems, and I have mine, right?"
"I just want-" Kent started, but was cut off.
"Your dad to act like he cares about you, and for all your new friends to think you're the 'cool guy' or something." Violet flatly concluded. "But the thing is, I _do_ care about you. And sure," She laughed bitterly. "I know you're kind of a cheesy nerd deep down, but I've always liked that."
Neither of them could quite look at the other, and the scraping rustle of the leaves in the wind was cut slightly by a siren blaring in the distance. Kent was the first to break their silence. "I'm sorry." He shook his head slightly. "You know I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, things are just-"
"Complicated." Violet finished for him. "Like I said, I get that. And I mean it when I say I'm not mad." She looked at him almost pleadingly. "I just don't like where things have been going lately."
Kent looked back somberly. "I don't either." For probably the first time in three years, Violet saw him tear up. "Hell, I wanna vomit when I think about everything that's happened this year, and when we move on..."
"Ya think we'll at least stay in touch?" Violet asked, shrinking into her jacket.
"Of course!" Kent promptly assured. "At the very least, we'll text, or call, or... something."
Even though Violet smiled and accepted the reassurance, and would tell herself that, yes, at the very least they'd stay in touch, a poisonous doubt remained. Looking down at the sidewalk as the two of them walked along in silence, she noticed just how many more cracks there were now.
(Addendum 2: I do think my dialogue tags can get a bit long. It's usually something I trim a bit as I revise drafts. I'm leaving what I wrote as kind of a 'read through rough draft' just to kinda show what I tend to cook for my basic drafts. I try to remedy this a bit by making them more action based and with as powerful of wording as I can employ.)
4:58 I felt like Kent became his own therapist for a second there.
In relation to point two, I was once told I wrote my bandits and goblins as if they were at a tenth grade reading level.
That one hurt. But it's very helpful to remember.
For the dialogue tags i was already pausing and unpausing the video because i just couldnt do it, there was too much dialogue and i totally get what you saying now.
Abbie, you are just simply a hero in making writers in becoming excellent! Thank you for putting this together!
Normally what I do with dialogue is just let it flow, honestly. I swear characters can have a life of their own, so sometimes when I'm writing dialogue it kinda feels like I'm eavesdropping on a real conversation.
Interesting
I usually write from a characters perspective. So what I decide to write usually also has to do with how interested in the dialogue they are. One of my characters that you follow the perspective off is an empty doll with no expectations from life that constantly has to ground themselves in reality.
So the people owning them and talking to them matter only if they give an order. For the rest they are unresponsive.
While in other stories you got people who truama dump after a big upset cause that's how they react. They bottle up til they explode. And wordvomit it all out. Not letting anyone interrupt. Even if they try.
Or you got two people who talk each from their own perspective and with clear misunderstandings for the readers but not at all clear for the characters. Because you follow both perspectives.
A lot of dialogue writing and how you handle it has to do with who the character is the perspectives of both characters talking and what you wish to convey to the audience as the writer. So I think this whole this is the right way to write and that is wrong isn't always helpful.
Cause my story is literally about always having faulty dialogue. It has to feel off. Because the character isn't in touch with his own humanity. And that alienation and the lengthy explanations and descriptions and thoughts distracting you from what anyone else is saying? Yeah that's him putting a boundary between him and the world. In this situation that kinda writing is important. It has meaning to be the way it is.
For me, unless the story is extremely engaging, I'm not going to finish a book heavy with on the nose dialogue and tons of tags. Tags often remind me of directorial notes for stage plays and film scenes. The combination can imply that the writer doesn't trust the readers will discern the context or imagine the scene without spoon feeding us exactly what is going on.
First off: love the video and I'm going to have to try and apply some of it to my writing.
I'm gonna say as to the last example, I think you cut down the prose too far; it didn't really give me enough to chew on and digest what was happening in the scene between the characters. But the extended dialog tags were a little on the heavy side and would probably be fine, depending on the scene you were going for. I think there's a Goldilocks zone, though, where you can be descriptive, but not bogged down.
The biggest thing that's helped me write dialog is, if it doesn't pass my sniff test, I'll reread it and ask myself, "Who talks like that?" If I can't think of an answer, I'll give it a day or two and rewrite it with fresh eyes.