The most disheartening aspect of caring for a loved one who exhibits signs of Mild Cognitive Impairment is the dismissal by other family members as well as medical professionals of these issues.
My parents are 96 and 95. They are both in clear cognitive decline. My dad still keeps busy outside and I think that keeps him going. I have noticed a gradual decline in my mom over the past few years. She always had a tendency to dwell on and obsessively recite old resentments. But I started to j twice the topics narrowing and the details changing several years ago. I have a sister in law who has been contradicting me all this time. And then last weekend realized for the first time that it was getting miracle and freaked out, pushing me to take her to another doctor and to set up in home care service. I live next door to them. I have been trying to balance how much I need to step in and help for the past several years. These other relatives just add stress. Not much came out of a new doctor and new appointment, and my mom hates to go anywhere any more.
@@kmathis2352 I managed to persuade my Mom to log her daily routine into a journal to help organize her obsessive note taking and although it keeps her mind occupied it's a two edged sword in that she's grown to view it as a roadmap for her day and sees the two hour increments for walking and exercise as huge tasks that preclude her from doing anything else.(run on sentences are a huge problem in my own recounting, sorry) Her long time General Practitioner is prone to throw meds at her continuing complaints but fortunately has worked with me in weaning her off of a few of them. Even before a diagnosis was presented of Mild Cognitive Impairment, he had put her on Mementine (Namenda) but I managed to get her off that as it was counter productive. Gabapentin, Robaxin, and Zoloft were also eliminated as they exacerbated her confusion and lethargy.
I had a friend who worked for me,I owned a cleaning company.She seemed fine,somewhat forgetful but was a good cleaner. She seemed to have slipped and I went to her house to check on her cause she said she wasn't home,she was in another condo. When I went there and asked if she could work with me she responded by saying'You don't want to come this far.' I was like No,It's no problem i can pick you up here. She said"oh no this isn't my house,I just clean here." She had been living there since the late 70's! Since I had been reading about dementia because of my mom in law I knew NOT to argue. I just said ok Judy.. no problem. I lived right up the street.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am going through the beginnings of stage 4 with my mom right now. My grandmother also had Demetia while having polycystic kidney disease. What a hoot that was... lol My mother took care of my grandmother until she passed. Now my mom denies my grandmother had dementia, while denying her own dementia. I'm Praying for everyone who is a caregiver. It's a very humbling time.
My mom has dementia and macular degeneration resulting in very poor sight, just placed in assisted living. She Hates it!!! So very little support for us caregivers. 😢
I am in early- mid stage dementia. I can relate to everything she said. It seems that my Psychiatrist is totally uninterested in my case! He only wants to see me 2-times a year. Why bother? I am blessed that my daughter is a pharmacist because she tells my doctors what to prescribe! I mean, what is this hopeless, indifferent, not interested attitude from my Psychiatrist? What’s the point in having a Psychiatrist? What do patients do when family members are not supportive? It seems they are on their own! I am THANKFUL for my family and I pray for those that do not have support from family! Doctors should,at least, act interested, even though there is no cure for dimentia.
No kidding. I’ve learned mostly about dementia from you tube. We are approaching year 13. All the doctors do is say see you in 6 months. Gosh. Thanks, Doc.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 I thought perhaps I was “off” due to my husband’s dementia diagnosis 12 years ago. At first I did not give it much thought, now I see signs long before 12 years ago. I am not wishing anything bad to happen to him, some days I wonder how much longer can I do this. He is easy to care for, but the emotional drain is the tough part. I am thankful for the info and comments from this group.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 I’m guessing being a doctor for a dementia patient is not terrifically lucrative as they can’t prescribe new tests or surgeries, etc. The Internet seems to be the most helpful medical “caregiver” source available.
My mother's doctor says the same thing. I know for someone very old there may not be able to anything for the patient. But some education might be helpful.
Concerning violence. At the Memory Care facility my sister is in, if a resident gets violent or uncooperative, a few days spent in a behavioral center allows for medications to stabilize the resident’s mood. They can come back afterwards.
Lots of valid points ... we had to stop my loved one driving because they were dangerous!!! You have to take charge but also not upset them by not fighting with them because they have no understanding of their condition just be kind to them and yourself and enjoy that moment .xxx
The book "The 36-hour Day" by Mace & Rabins was very helpful to me. Also was given some very good information by the medical director of the assisted living/memory care facility my MIL was at. But, by and large, the medical community was less than helpful or informative. And SO many medical professionals had no idea how to deal with her. There really needs to be more training for everyone who is likely to interact with people with dementia from medical office receptionists, ultrasound technicians, dentists, ED nurses, etc. We couldn't get an ED nurse to understand that asking a dementia patient things like "What day of the week is it?" wasn't appropriate assessment tool for a concussion.
I have heard about the 36 hour day but never read it. I have found that the most informative folks have been those who work in memory care facilities. They were up on the latest things and knew a lot of the nuances that come with the disease. I agree; everyone across the medical spectrum could use some training.
My 78 year old mom has just been Diagnosed with Dementia . Thank you for sharing your experience. This content is very useful for patient Care givers like me Respect from india 🇮🇳
Yes! It's so frustrating the lack of knowledge/communication and support. Some things could even have been shared "simply" giving a really clear phamplet
Thank you. I've had less than a week to get ready to care for my mother in-law with dementia and videos like yours are helping me to understand and navigate this new way of life. ❤
My Dad died of Alzheimer's 7 months ago, and we are currently in the thick of it with my mom(I am thinking stage 6-ish now). It was not until we moved them into an assisted living/nursing facility that we were truly educated on what to expect. Not by the doctors, but by the nursing staff at their facility, who have been wonderful. They have been the ones who walk us through what was/is normal, what we could expect, and ways to address the issues. Both of my parents have presented so differently in their symptoms that it is almost like starting over with Mom even though we have already been through this with Dad. Because of this, we have new questions and concerns that they are helping us through. The neurologist basically gave us the diagnosis and a couple of pamphlets with information. I have learned more from the handful of videos I have watched of yours than we have from their neurologists.
One of the best sources for information are videos by Teepa Snow that are available here on TH-cam. She goes over what to expect and demonstrates behaviors. Also, seek out physicians who specialize in geriatrics. Hospices are also good places to get information. The time when you could expect your doctor to provide you with all the information you need is passed. We all need to be our own case managers and researchers. It also helps to use the information you find to make a list of questions for your doctors. This often gets better information.
Teepa is Great just type in help with different Dementia in your web browser or the type of dementia you will find more information another great one is Careblazers! I have a heart for caretakers. I am a retired Caseworker and also cared for my Aunt & a friends mother both had Alzheimer’s. This utube ex caregiver is extremely knowledgeable as well 😘💞💕💫🌟
Oh my gosh I have said the same thing. This is my one of my favorites video clips. What you are saying should come from the doctor when the diagnosis is shared. We only got medication to address “sundowners” No explanation of stages, referral to Alzheimer’s Association, support groups, nothing. Thank you, thank you for saying this out loud.
I agree with everything you said. I only found out about the stages and symptoms of dementia my husband was experiencing through my own research. All I got from our doctor was a prescription for Namzeric. Your videos and the candid way you present information are excellent. Thank you so much for such wonderful, useful advice!
Thank you so much for your videos! We are dealing with dementia in our family. Now on 6 going rapidly to 7. Didn't know anything about the stages. I have learned so much and am looking forward to passing along to the family.
Wish I had seen this before I lost my husband to this terrible disease. No Dr explained many of these symptoms and stages. You gave me more info then they did. The loss of my husband was so terrible because I didn’t understand a lot of the things you discussed. My heart is broken from the loss and the end of what he went through in the facility he was in till I took him out of there and home. 💔😢
They told us nothing of what to expect, things to watch for or how to handle situations…nothing just here’s the diagnosis, Aricept and Namenda….neither of which helps my mom. Mom seems to know that something isn’t right but yet paranoid, zero cognitive ability, personality changes, anger, frustration and denial.
I went to MD at the urging of my wife to test for memory issues. Got the standard office visit memory test. Dr. gave me the result by writing my score of 20 out of 25 on a slip of paper and sliding it silently across his desk to me. He couldn't look at me in the eye. He acted like I was already hopeless. What a lazy, worthless POS! I left the hospital and have not been back to visit any "doctor" for 4 years. Lesson learned that I can only count on myself to take care of me. I have medicare but I don't expect any positive interactions from the health care industry anymore. I will gladly take care of myself on my own than deal with the worthless "care" I have received from the system.
I don't understand why. Is it because people are (usually) old and there's no cure? The caretakers are the ones who REALLY need the info. We don't treat cancer that way...
Good points . The video was helpful in covering the things we should expect when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia. It is so hard to see the doctors who deal with patients who have dementia that caregivers must pursue self-education.
The TV! Wow, there’s so much I could say. My sister would have it going 24/7 and usually on the weather news channels. All bad weather or crime nationwide was nearby in her mind. After going to Memory Care, she has way more socialization and activities that help keep her calmer.
My Grammy (mom's mom who will be 84 on January 11th 2025) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's on April 6, 2021. And as her primary caregiver, I strongly believe that she is in stage 4 now as my mom takes full control over her finances. I live with her in her apartment and do all of the driving now. She has had anasignasia since the diagnosis in 2021. She seriously thinks we're wrong and she is perfectly fine. She still talks about the car even though we sold it 2 years ago.
Before my loved one's diagnosis, I had to practically threaten the doctor to do something because I knew something was wrong. After the diagnosis, the doctor admitted they had a hunch. WTH! They are the well paid medical 'professionals'! Since diagnosis, I've gotten ZERO information from medical staff. They avoid this disease like the plague. It's the family and caregivers that suffer as well. We have to guess (and many times guessing incorrectly) because we have no information to go on.
I have found the medical community extremely frustrating and I know I'm not alone. I know someone who needed to go out on the Family Medical Leave Act but because the doctor kept saying it wasn't any form of dementia (YES IT WAS!) they couldn't use FMLA. They finally found another doctor who diagnosed it with complete accuracy - and yes, it was a form of dementia but it was also a day late and a dollar short for the medical leave.
When we finally were forced to put my dad in a "transitional" assisted living facility, and he immediately was promoted to memory care, we began to truly be educated on the disease. None of his doctors provided any useful information, and it was so frustrating. We waited far too long to move him into a facility, as he is far better off in that there are so many wonderful professionals who stimulate his mind, support him with exercise and social activities, help with bathing, dressing, eating....why did we wait so long? Because we didn't understand how bad it was.
Wow the driving one....the dr made my husband take a drivers test to renew his lisence...due to his neuropathy, HE WANTED IT. stopping AT a stop sign or red light were way off... Of course he didn't pass. The more I read, hear these videos the more I see him having this earlier than I THOUGHT he did.
It can be really hard to tell. Everyone has their own "quirky behavior," and I've seen that those behaviors become a little worse. But in the beginning, it's difficult to tell if it's just them or if something else is going on.
The driving…I feel pressured by people to not let him drive, he says he is ok and he still drives around town. I have him evaluated every year…after this evaluation coming up, I will request more often…that is if he even passes. This driving is the toughest part…I just want to do the right thing for him.
That was my experience. It would have saved as so many arguments and heartache if we had known what was happening with my mom and all her negativity, accusations and what seemed like gaslighting. It may have saved my brother's life. So sad. The elder years plus dementia should definitely be included in health education in school.
When you said that it would have stopped soooo many arguments, OMG YES!! I love your videos. I’m at the stage where I’m feeling guilty now having to put my mom in a facility and I’m just learning all this and it’s a nightmare! She calls me every day around 3 or 4pm onward wanting to go home, and It’s so heartbreaking. You’ve helped me to see things more clearly. Thank you so much!💞
i got the horrible call. the cna used her phone to call me and put my mother on who is very deaf. she was crying and begging for me to take her home. it was terrible.
I have been watching your videos. And your very helpful. My sister and I are thinking something going on with our mom. But it like how do we know for sure. Bc some things she does would be her. Then sometimes Lil things seem different. She very high anxiety. And passed the Lil test. But she knows how to lie. How do we know? There is times I can't talk to my mom. Bc she has been all over me since our dad passed 11 years ago. So now when she really needs us. It hard bc she burnt us out.
Every person who has dementia is different as you say here. Some completely skip the stages. I think a doctor isn’t going to talk about the stages in front of the patient for obvious reasons, so a separate appointment would need to be made. They are not going to start off talking about how much is lost through the different stages when a person is diagnosed. Also there is tons of information about the different stages on line, very accurate and helpful information. When any terminal disease is diagnosed the doctor isn’t going to describe the decline into death, and it also depends on which medical professional you are dealing with. A professional who specialises in diseases like dementia will have the in depth knowledge, the average general practitioner will not.
I’m going through this with my mom right now. She’s 84, and I’m sure she’s at stage 5. Some days I will talk to her and she seems like her usual sassy and hilarious self. Other days she will call me from the nursing home to say “Get me the - - - - outta here!” The videos you have posted are so helpful to me as I’m trying to figure it all out while at the same time take care of all of her bills and belongings, etc. we have both been having such a difficult time with all of it. Thank you so much for all of your help
My grandpa would tell us what he'd watched through his "window"...men fighting and they wouldn't stop when he yelled at them (boxing or wrestling) and about a really big yellow bird that scared all the other little birds away (Sesame Street). As far as spacial changes in eyesight, I noticed that clearly with my friend who wouldn't tell that ships in the harbour were getting much closer to the docks.
I didn't know that constipation is the first sign which she struggled with for two years prior to diagnosis. Her doctor kept prescribing laxatives: 4 different laxatives of which she took incorrectly because they didn't work "fast enough" then had accidents on the den rug, kitchen floor... Afterwards, she swore she would never do that again but did it week after week. Also she stopped talking the last 3 months which I didn't know would happen. She understood everything, followed instructions, etc.... but no speech. I am learning more about dementia, too late now, even though I had researched a lot during that time, but hers was different from what I read or watched.
I have heard that constipation can be a sign - I think that was also one of the issues Robin Williams had. My FIL lost the ability to speak. He would do a lot of pointing at items, etc. He understood us but could not talk. It was kind of like a stroke.
The ignorance of doctors and the medical community in general is breathtaking. These videos are 1000s times better. Support groups with longtime caregivers help a lot too. My husbands longtime PCP actively opposed any suggestion of anything other than just “spacey” or “I forget things myself.” It took a driving incident involving police to get the Rx for in-depth tests. In his hospital stays, after his diagnosis, docs and staff would say “oh yeah I know about Alzheimer’s.” Turns out they had a gramma they saw periodically who mixed up names, or their aunt was forgetful and everybody said she had Alzheimer’s. (Maybe she did, but) The biggest one-it became a major hospital “incident” with lawyers and everything-was the hospitalist who insisted hubs could self-report, while agreeing he had Alzheimer’s. Yes, he smiled and seemed compliant. But he had no concept of what he’d done, or not done. I guess it was easier to just say “well, he *said* he did and I thought he’d know that.” Otherwise, not trying to “convince” them with logic or explanation is so hard early on. You have to realize they really can’t understand it, and a lot of it doesn’t really matter in the big picture anyway. .
Yes, switched to decaf for her, and I'm noticing a difference. The Hallmark channel is on all the time and I have been giving a narrative that I have been teasing her but I'll not do that anymore. A year ago she thought it was funny and acted offended, not when I do it I'm not so sure. One more thing, I turn off the electric range at the circuit breaker. Twice she has tried to cook in the middle of the night and it was a mess but could have started a fire.
I really wish there was more support. Dad’s neurologist just said he had Alzheimer’s and “it is really bad.” I was left alone to figure all this out. I needed counselors or social workers or someone to help me gauge what stage he was at, when he should got into memory care, help me make the house safer, or literally anything at all would have been helpful. Honestly I got more advice by calling “A place for mom” than any doctor’s office provided. I live in the US, and there’s just no help at all unless you have lots of money and know how to navigate our convoluted “healthcare” system.
Thank you so much for your videos. I admire you for turning your Hard and Difficult experience into a service of Help to others who are going thru this dark tunnel and you are bringing them light. God Bless You
Such a great list. I might add the lose of spatial awareness- not knowing up from down, left from right or understanding how or where to sit. Trying to dress or maneuver them to a safe position can be such a challenge and so frustrating that it is hard to remain calm.
My dad's Dr. never told us the name of what was going on with Dad. (He was thinking Patient confidentiality.) But our family needed to know what it was! There was too much denial already! When I called him directly Dr, said the confusion will only get worse over time. SO, IT'S ALZHEIMERS I SAID! He told me to think of an electric current, when dad seemed normal the current was flowing through his brain. When he was confused there was a short in the current. And these shorts will become more & more frequent. Finally we had an answer! When mom could no longer care for him we sought help from care centers. He was rejected by several because he needed 1-1 care! My suggestion to others is...don't wait too long or they won't take your loved one. We had to accept a care center that we didn't want. My dads mind went back to WWll. When a nurse came up from behind him & tapped him on the shoulder--he lashed out! From that point on he was heavily medicated & became a Zombie with a flat affect. He died shortly after this...What an awful disease!!!!
It is awful and I agree. Even if the help isn't needed yet, planning ahead will make life much easier. Visit care places and check with in home help. That way you have an idea of how long the wait list is and can plan better.
That’s an Allen’s cognitive exam you’re talking about. An OT or speech therapist can administer and interpret it, give you an idea what stages they are at.
No one will even speak to you! My MIL is 100, living alone. She refuses all help except her elderly friends who should be getting help themselves. At age 97, she broke her leg. My husband has Healthcare POA and tried to speak to the doctors. NO ONE would even give him the time of day. Talk to the ✋️. Freaking incredible!!!
Make sure you get a durable power of attorney early. I waited until after my wife lost the ability to sign documents and had to go to court to get conservatorship.
@@tinajohnson9867 Just because you are a spouse does not give you legal rights to any accounts under the sole ownership of your partner like IRA's or retirement accounts or the ability to legally represent your spouse. A durable power of attorney will resolve these issue without having to get conservatorship. Also it will help with social security when signing up for retirement benefits and medicare. Conservatorship is expense and involves a yearly accounting that must be filed with the court. Best advice I can give is talk to a lawyer when you get the diagnosis do not wait until there are problems. This applies for a spouse or parent
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 yes, but "of sound mind" is flexible concept. As long as they realize what they are doing at the time of signing the durable power of attorney, they can sundown later that day
@@tinajohnson9867 Getting guardianship takes longer because it has to be heard and approved by a judge. It also costs a lot more money than going to a notary.
Dr Pius Ozigbe is Always on time. compassionate. Empathetic. easy to take to and relates exceptionally well. Hands down the most effective and efficient doctor I recommend him. thank you doctor.
We are stuck between what is fact and help. Seems when we see doctors to include neurologist have not given any real direction or info. It seems the doctors just wanted to just say its old age and take Seroquel. When I speak to all these so called gov organizations and private services, the first question too us is do u have Medicaid. We do not. They state we cannot offer help. So far all we find is allot of talk with not substance. When u become old with commodities, the system writes u off. Maybe there are some good geriatric doctors or geriatric neurologist, but not many.
OMG...... exactly... what you said....... they never told us anything...... I was taking my mom to appointment after appointment with neurologists, and other specialists.... because she couldn't walk well, her legs were numb.... she was difficult, argumentative....... and NOT ONE OF THEM told me she had dementia...... her GP gave her a dementia test...... and she passed it.......she couldn't tell time.... but she knew all the other answers....... and so they just did nothing and lied to me............ so that I couldn't research her disease..... and couldn't prepare.....either her or me for what was coming............... and so instead I faced the guilt of eventually having to admit her to a nursing home after she made me promise I never would........... and I still didn't know what the issue was....... until a few months before she died...... when they finally told me she had vascular-cerebral disease.......... and whole parts of her brain were dead due to plaque build-up and lack of oxygen in her brain veins....... and then COVID hit.... and we were no longer allowed to visit her......... so she died alone.
A year before she died, she did not remember that she was divorced from my father, or that he had passed away...... she thought he was on his way to get her and they were moving to Illinois (for some unfathomable reason. We have zero connections to the state of Illinois)....... and she was devastated all over again to find out he had died and he wouldn't be rescuing her from assisted living........ but most of the time she was really cagy...... and wouldn't put herself in a position where anyone would realize she didn't know what was going on............ she was smart.... she knew her brain was failing.... and she worked hard at making sure nobody else knew...... but I did. And when I would try to talk about it, and what it meant she would just get angry, because her main focus was on covering it up. She covered it up from at least 2011-2020....... just always cagy..... and when she was end-stage was during covid..... so she lost 70lbs. in the last 7 months...... no one would feed her, and eventually she couldn't swallow.......... so sad..... cuz this woman loved to eat.
Sorry she was alone. My mom was scheduled to move in when they called and told me she would likely be the last one in for a while. The next day they said she couldn't move until "whenever." It was another three months.
My father had dementia in the middle stages. He had a simple heart procedure with anesthesia. He never was the same after that. His cognitive abilities took a steep decline. He had a concierge dr and a cardiologist advising him on this procedure and never once did they mention that some just don't come back after this. It would have been good to have known as after the fact every nurse we know told us it's very common.
That's horrible! I never heard that before, but it doesn't surprise me either. Anesthesia can be difficult on older people. It made my dad weird for quite a while (He was 88).
So sorry to hear about your father. The simple heart procedure, was it putting in stents? Asking because my husband's cardiologist had recommended that he might need to have stents
My MIL with dementia no longer has the desire to eat solid food (maybe 2 bites per meal) - looking for advice or what to expect in the coming months on how this plays out (lack of nutrition/calories). When would hospice be brought in? She is 80 and currently living at home with her able bodied 74 year old husband
No longer wanting to eat is usually the end - but even then they sometimes bounce back for a while. I would give hospice a call. I believe the life expectancy has to be six months or less.
My mother had the same issue, and I saw a video that said they get confused with a lot of food on the plate, so I now put one thing on her plate at a time and that really helped. Also texture of food bothers her too. In between meals I will have her drink a little Boost to help. And before pills, I give her a pudding to eat.
Definitely call hospice. Geesh, with my dad, it was decided on Friday by a Dr in this medical facility that I never saw as of yet. My sister was the medical power of attorney. I told her repeatedly in prior weeks he is asking if he is dying. She was in denial, wanted a zoom call, as if hospice was going to hurt him. Hospice couldn’t come until Monday for evaluation. Tuesday, waiting, waiting for pain meds. Finally, he gets morphine inside mouth, on his cheek, dies 30 minutes later. If a patient improves, then they are taken off hospice. After that, his funeral, this sister emails everyone and let’s us know this hospice offers grief counseling. What ?? No thanks, a little too late by everyone. I’ll find my own grief counseling away from siblings.
@@Bubblegumswitch Thank you so much. Also, I really like your user name, just sooo original. As a kid, I had my yummy share of bubblegum. Long ago, a friend 14 yrs old, died suddenly, she chewed Bubble Yum Bubble Gum, grape flavor ! Your response and username just brought me back to memories of that sweet, cute and funny child.
Something that I haven't heard much about is how even the early stages impact your life. Right now my husband is in the early stages - so functional for daily living and still drives in quiet settings. But I wonder how long I can leave him alone if I am going out . He is fine if nothing unusual pops up but the littlest thing that he thinks he needs to solve is problematic because of his lack of judgment and proper reasoning. So even though his doctor would say he is fine (she hasn't yet given him a diagnosis but that is par for the course), he is not normal and it does affect our life. Also, I think the number of people suffering from dementia is way higher than the official count. Why are we surprised when someone in their 90s is still sharp? Because most people get dementia in their 80s. In Canada, doctors seem reluctant to give a diagnosis until the person is disabled enough to require a move to a facility.
Shortly before we put my dad in a facility, we left him for a few hours while I took my mom to a doctor's appointment. When we got home, he was pacing outside (it was a nice summer day) and very agitated because he had "locked himself out" of the house. His keys were in his pants pocket. I'm sorry we didn't find a facility for him a year or more ago as the toll it has taken on my elderly mom is profound, causing her depression, extreme weight loss and her own mental decline. He is much happier in memory care.
My wife was into early stage 4 before I could convince the PCP to refer her to a neurologist for eval. I once asked "what do you do when you're dementia doctor has dementia?"
Doctors do not share much information when it comes to dementia. There are many different kinds of dementia. There's Parkinson's dementia. I am considering sharing my experiences on TH-cam for the last 10 years. Thanks for your videos. Very informative, educational and interesting.
This is very informative, thank you. I would also like to add that I’ve read a book that in my opinion addresses the root cause of Alzheimer’s..and what you can do about it. If you’re curious , and open minded , it’s ahead of research right now. He writes the cause is from heavy metals, Mercury and Aluminum. Once you understand that we are filled with metals, it makes so much sense….get any of the books by Anthony William. I myself have been following his advice ( which most of it free on his website) for 5 years now and I have such clarity.. it’s hard to describe. Thank you again, My Mom is just starting this struggle.
My mother grew up in a AZ copper mining town. They got their water from a well which was likely tainted with a lot of copper. Her father and 3 sisters and one brother had dementia and have passed. She has dementia now as does a younger sister.
Thankyou for the Info.. My Mother is Sleeping all the time and starting Not to eat very well....I noticed when I give her water...it Sounds like she is having trouble swallowing now...
I don't disagree with what you said - - so since the Neurologist didn't say that maybe my husband might need some calming meds (which he can't prescribe as it has to be a psychiatrist). I kept my husband home for 12 years, the last 3 were bad and I finally had to place him in memory care. All of the research was done by me through internet, videos, books, etc, etc. After 3 months he is on the Alz slide, but at least the caregivers take care of him. I will be broke soon, but working a job at 78 to help pay. I need another job. It is sad to watch this terrible slide.
My Uncle with dementia's Doctor does not even ASK about his dementia. He asks my Uncle if he is eating well (he's not) if he is exercising (he's not) if he is still able to take care of his home (he can't) if he is taking his medications (he doesn't unless I stand there and watch him) and of course my Uncle says everything is perfect, fine and dandy, no issues at all! I have to be the bad guy and tell the doctor the TRUTH that Uncle is in denial. Then he says, OK, see you in 6 months!
Yup! Been there! I don't understand why they ask the patient. It would be nice if they had a five minute chat with the caregiver ALONE BEFORE they talked to the patient.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 My fathers dr when we told him our dad shouldnt drive after several near wrecks said” he drives here fine. “ He was a pos. He also told us telling people they had dementia was a death sentence. My father was from an era where drs were infallible gods, rip dad
Can symptoms help determine the stage the person with dementia is in? When she went to the Neuro doctor they did tests and said she's moderate Alzheimer's with possible vascular accelerant but nothing about stages so we know what to expect next and how soon we can possibly expect these declines to happen.
My husband has been diagnosed with the alzeimer disease, I believe he is at stage 4 at this point , I am so scared of the future, not sure if I will be able to cope with this being myself very fragile ( chronic depression) but any info or hints are welcome ….thank you for sharing …😢
I'm not sure if this is possible for you, but look at care options now - whether it's in home help or assisted living. You can look into them all now and get an understanding of what they do and what their time frame is. Where I live, home health aides were in short supply pre-covid, now it's worse. Eldercare lawyers will often give free one hour information sessions on finances. That may help as well.
It may not be dementia. There are a lot of other things including food, meds, vitamin deficiencies, hormone imbalances etc. VERY important to see a doctor to determine the problem.
May I ask I know some of the signs is great my question Is what steps to take we went to a neurologist and he was just awful seeing him twice. He’s very rude to my husband. I have an MRI. My husband can’t go into that machine prescription for 30 days. Is there a timeline? Is there a place to go with questions? Play❤
We started to notice very slight changes in my mom when she was 80. She is now going to be 88 in two months and is at stage five. We had her see a neurologist about stage three and he said she had mild cognitive impairment. We decided that there was no reason put her through an MRI or other testing when we knew she had dementia. Her PCP has been very good with prescriptions for her dementia, and memory patches. You just need to educate yourself and your PCP.
It can vary greatly from person to person. We were told that from diagnosis to death averages 10 years. My FIL was much shorter and my MIL was longer. There was a person in the assisted living facility that lived there for 20 years before he passed.
The most disheartening aspect of caring for a loved one who exhibits signs of Mild Cognitive Impairment is the dismissal by other family members as well as medical professionals of these issues.
It's hard when no one believes you - or is in denial.
My parents are 96 and 95. They are both in clear cognitive decline. My dad still keeps busy outside and I think that keeps him going. I have noticed a gradual decline in my mom over the past few years. She always had a tendency to dwell on and obsessively recite old resentments. But I started to j twice the topics narrowing and the details changing several years ago. I have a sister in law who has been contradicting me all this time. And then last weekend realized for the first time that it was getting miracle and freaked out, pushing me to take her to another doctor and to set up in home care service. I live next door to them. I have been trying to balance how much I need to step in and help for the past several years. These other relatives just add stress. Not much came out of a new doctor and new appointment, and my mom hates to go anywhere any more.
@@kmathis2352 I managed to persuade my Mom to log her daily routine into a journal to help organize her obsessive note taking and although it keeps her mind occupied it's a two edged sword in that she's grown to view it as a roadmap for her day and sees the two hour increments for walking and exercise as huge tasks that preclude her from doing anything else.(run on sentences are a huge problem in my own recounting, sorry) Her long time General Practitioner is prone to throw meds at her continuing complaints but fortunately has worked with me in weaning her off of a few of them. Even before a diagnosis was presented of Mild Cognitive Impairment, he had put her on Mementine (Namenda) but I managed to get her off that as it was counter productive. Gabapentin, Robaxin, and Zoloft were also eliminated as they exacerbated her confusion and lethargy.
I had a friend who worked for me,I owned a cleaning company.She seemed fine,somewhat forgetful but was a good cleaner.
She seemed to have slipped and I went to her house to check on her cause she said she wasn't home,she was in another condo. When I went there and asked if she could work with me she responded by saying'You don't want to come this far.' I was like No,It's no problem
i can pick you up here. She said"oh no this isn't my house,I just clean here." She had been living there since the late 70's! Since I had been reading about dementia because of my mom in law I knew NOT to argue. I just said ok Judy.. no problem. I lived right up the street.
You're so right. Nobody tells you anything. That's why videos like yours are so valuable.
It is sadly true for most of us. Glad the videos help!
I really think ordinary doctors do not know any more than the family care giver, perhaps less
My mom has dementia and I've gotten more understanding and information from your channel the her doctor or any other channel .
I'm so glad I could help! It is why I started the channel - but it's also a sad statement on the state of our medical community.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am going through the beginnings of stage 4 with my mom right now. My grandmother also had Demetia while having polycystic kidney disease. What a hoot that was... lol
My mother took care of my grandmother until she passed. Now my mom denies my grandmother had dementia, while denying her own dementia. I'm Praying for everyone who is a caregiver. It's a very humbling time.
Caretaking dementia is definitely difficult.
My mom has dementia and macular degeneration resulting in very poor sight, just placed in assisted living. She Hates it!!! So very little support for us caregivers. 😢
I am in early- mid stage dementia. I can relate to everything she said. It seems that my Psychiatrist is totally uninterested in my case! He only wants to see me 2-times a year. Why bother?
I am blessed that my daughter is a pharmacist because she tells my doctors what to prescribe!
I mean, what is this hopeless, indifferent, not interested attitude from my Psychiatrist? What’s the point in having a Psychiatrist? What do patients do when family members are not supportive? It seems they are on their own!
I am THANKFUL for my family and I pray for those that do not have support from family!
Doctors should,at least, act interested, even though there is no cure for dimentia.
I agree. Some of our experiences were similar.
May God bless you on your health journey.
No kidding. I’ve learned mostly about dementia from you tube. We are approaching year 13. All the doctors do is say see you in 6 months. Gosh. Thanks, Doc.
And those 6 month appointments aren't all that helpful.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 I thought perhaps I was “off” due to my husband’s dementia diagnosis 12 years ago. At first I did not give it much thought, now I see signs long before 12 years ago. I am not wishing anything bad to happen to him, some days I wonder how much longer can I do this. He is easy to care for, but the emotional drain is the tough part.
I am thankful for the info and comments from this group.
Their pay is their most concern
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 I’m guessing being a doctor for a dementia patient is not terrifically lucrative as they can’t prescribe new tests or surgeries, etc. The Internet seems to be the most helpful medical “caregiver” source available.
My mother's doctor says the same thing. I know for someone very old there may not be able to anything for the patient. But some education might be helpful.
Concerning violence. At the Memory Care facility my sister is in, if a resident gets violent or uncooperative, a few days spent in a behavioral center allows for medications to stabilize the resident’s mood. They can come back afterwards.
Lots of valid points ... we had to stop my loved one driving because they were dangerous!!! You have to take charge but also not upset them by not fighting with them because they have no understanding of their condition just be kind to them and yourself and enjoy that moment .xxx
The book "The 36-hour Day" by Mace & Rabins was very helpful to me. Also was given some very good information by the medical director of the assisted living/memory care facility my MIL was at.
But, by and large, the medical community was less than helpful or informative. And SO many medical professionals had no idea how to deal with her. There really needs to be more training for everyone who is likely to interact with people with dementia from medical office receptionists, ultrasound technicians, dentists, ED nurses, etc. We couldn't get an ED nurse to understand that asking a dementia patient things like "What day of the week is it?" wasn't appropriate assessment tool for a concussion.
I have heard about the 36 hour day but never read it. I have found that the most informative folks have been those who work in memory care facilities. They were up on the latest things and knew a lot of the nuances that come with the disease. I agree; everyone across the medical spectrum could use some training.
My 78 year old mom has just been Diagnosed with Dementia .
Thank you for sharing your experience. This content is very useful for patient
Care givers like me
Respect from india 🇮🇳
Yes! It's so frustrating the lack of knowledge/communication and support. Some things could even have been shared "simply" giving a really clear phamplet
It is truly stunning. No other disease seems to get treated this way.
Thank you. I've had less than a week to get ready to care for my mother in-law with dementia and videos like yours are helping me to understand and navigate this new way of life. ❤
My Dad died of Alzheimer's 7 months ago, and we are currently in the thick of it with my mom(I am thinking stage 6-ish now). It was not until we moved them into an assisted living/nursing facility that we were truly educated on what to expect. Not by the doctors, but by the nursing staff at their facility, who have been wonderful. They have been the ones who walk us through what was/is normal, what we could expect, and ways to address the issues. Both of my parents have presented so differently in their symptoms that it is almost like starting over with Mom even though we have already been through this with Dad. Because of this, we have new questions and concerns that they are helping us through. The neurologist basically gave us the diagnosis and a couple of pamphlets with information. I have learned more from the handful of videos I have watched of yours than we have from their neurologists.
We found the folks at assisted living to be very knowledgeable. Glad the videos have helped.
One of the best sources for information are videos by Teepa Snow that are available here on TH-cam. She goes over what to expect and demonstrates behaviors. Also, seek out physicians who specialize in geriatrics. Hospices are also good places to get information.
The time when you could expect your doctor to provide you with all the information you need is passed. We all need to be our own case managers and researchers. It also helps to use the information you find to make a list of questions for your doctors. This often gets better information.
Teepa is great!
Teepa is Great just type in help with different Dementia in your web browser or the type of dementia you will find more information another great one is Careblazers! I have a heart for caretakers. I am a retired Caseworker and also cared for my Aunt & a friends mother both had Alzheimer’s. This utube ex caregiver is extremely knowledgeable as well 😘💞💕💫🌟
Oh my gosh I have said the same thing. This is my one of my favorites video clips. What you are saying should come from the doctor when the diagnosis is shared. We only got medication to address “sundowners” No explanation of stages, referral to Alzheimer’s Association, support groups, nothing. Thank you, thank you for saying this out loud.
I agree with everything you said. I only found out about the stages and symptoms of dementia my husband was experiencing through my own research. All I got from our doctor was a prescription for Namzeric. Your videos and the candid way you present information are excellent. Thank you so much for such wonderful, useful advice!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for your videos! We are dealing with dementia in our family. Now on 6 going rapidly to 7. Didn't know anything about the stages. I have learned so much and am looking forward to passing along to the family.
Wish I had seen this before I lost my husband to this terrible disease. No Dr explained many of these symptoms and stages. You gave me more info then they did. The loss of my husband was so terrible because I didn’t understand a lot of the things you discussed. My heart is broken from the loss and the end of what he went through in the facility he was in till I took him out of there and home. 💔😢
It was definitely harder for us as well because we didn't know anything. A lot of arguments could have been avoided to say the least.
😢
Hi Gigi, how's your day going with you?
They told us nothing of what to expect, things to watch for or how to handle situations…nothing just here’s the diagnosis, Aricept and Namenda….neither of which helps my mom. Mom seems to know that something isn’t right but yet paranoid, zero cognitive ability, personality changes, anger, frustration and denial.
I went to MD at the urging of my wife to test for memory issues. Got the standard office visit memory test. Dr. gave me the result by writing my score of 20 out of 25 on a slip of paper and sliding it silently across his desk to me. He couldn't look at me in the eye. He acted like I was already hopeless. What a lazy, worthless POS! I left the hospital and have not been back to visit any "doctor" for 4 years. Lesson learned that I can only count on myself to take care of me. I have medicare but I don't expect any positive interactions from the health care industry anymore. I will gladly take care of myself on my own than deal with the worthless "care" I have received from the system.
You are so right, no matter how many Dr. We saw no one told us the information, it would have been extremely helpful.
I don't understand why. Is it because people are (usually) old and there's no cure? The caretakers are the ones who REALLY need the info. We don't treat cancer that way...
#4 & 5 oh my! saving yourself from arguements....Thank you !
Because there's hardly ever any arguments! (said no caretaker ever!)
Thank you so much for sharing these. Helped us realise just how far down the dementia road 94 and 96yo Mum & Dad truly are.
Going through all of this right now. Thanks for filling in the gaps.
Glad you’re still doing these videos for your followers- thank you ❤️❤️
Thank you! I had a lot of things to catch up on after my mom died. Glad the videos still help people!
Very knowledgeable! One of the best videos I’ve seen.
Thank you. Glad it helped!
Oh my Jesus yes…everything you said was spot on thank you for the validation.
Good points . The video was helpful in covering the things we should expect when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia. It is so hard to see the doctors who deal with patients who have dementia that caregivers must pursue self-education.
The TV! Wow, there’s so much I could say. My sister would have it going 24/7 and usually on the weather news channels. All bad weather or crime nationwide was nearby in her mind. After going to Memory Care, she has way more socialization and activities that help keep her calmer.
My Grammy (mom's mom who will be 84 on January 11th 2025) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's on April 6, 2021. And as her primary caregiver, I strongly believe that she is in stage 4 now as my mom takes full control over her finances. I live with her in her apartment and do all of the driving now. She has had anasignasia since the diagnosis in 2021. She seriously thinks we're wrong and she is perfectly fine. She still talks about the car even though we sold it 2 years ago.
I’m in same situation with my 87 year old mom!! It’s heartbreaking and extremely frustrating!!!!
Before my loved one's diagnosis, I had to practically threaten the doctor to do something because I knew something was wrong. After the diagnosis, the doctor admitted they had a hunch.
WTH! They are the well paid medical 'professionals'!
Since diagnosis, I've gotten ZERO information from medical staff. They avoid this disease like the plague.
It's the family and caregivers that suffer as well. We have to guess (and many times guessing incorrectly) because we have no information to go on.
I have found the medical community extremely frustrating and I know I'm not alone. I know someone who needed to go out on the Family Medical Leave Act but because the doctor kept saying it wasn't any form of dementia (YES IT WAS!) they couldn't use FMLA. They finally found another doctor who diagnosed it with complete accuracy - and yes, it was a form of dementia but it was also a day late and a dollar short for the medical leave.
When we finally were forced to put my dad in a "transitional" assisted living facility, and he immediately was promoted to memory care, we began to truly be educated on the disease. None of his doctors provided any useful information, and it was so frustrating. We waited far too long to move him into a facility, as he is far better off in that there are so many wonderful professionals who stimulate his mind, support him with exercise and social activities, help with bathing, dressing, eating....why did we wait so long? Because we didn't understand how bad it was.
Wow the driving one....the dr made my husband take a drivers test to renew his lisence...due to his neuropathy, HE WANTED IT.
stopping AT a stop sign or red light were way off...
Of course he didn't pass.
The more I read, hear these videos the more I see him having this earlier than
I THOUGHT he did.
It can be really hard to tell. Everyone has their own "quirky behavior," and I've seen that those behaviors become a little worse. But in the beginning, it's difficult to tell if it's just them or if something else is going on.
The driving…I feel pressured by people to not let him drive, he says he is ok and he still drives around town. I have him evaluated every year…after this evaluation coming up, I will request more often…that is if he even passes.
This driving is the toughest part…I just want to do the right thing for him.
It's easy to think it's something else in the early stages.
Hi Barbara, how's your day going with you?
Mayo clinic was the best experience, considering what all I was facing and still facing
That was my experience. It would have saved as so many arguments and heartache if we had known what was happening with my mom and all her negativity, accusations and what seemed like gaslighting. It may have saved my brother's life. So sad. The elder years plus dementia should definitely be included in health education in school.
I'm a retired RN. From my professional experience, all I can say to all you said is...yes.
When you said that it would have stopped soooo many arguments, OMG YES!! I love your videos. I’m at the stage where I’m feeling guilty now having to put my mom in a facility and I’m just learning all this and it’s a nightmare! She calls me every day around 3 or 4pm onward wanting to go home, and It’s so heartbreaking. You’ve helped me to see things more clearly. Thank you so much!💞
i got the horrible call. the cna used her phone to call me and put my mother on who is very deaf. she was crying and begging for me to take her home. it was terrible.
I have been watching your videos. And your very helpful. My sister and I are thinking something going on with our mom. But it like how do we know for sure. Bc some things she does would be her. Then sometimes Lil things seem different. She very high anxiety. And passed the Lil test. But she knows how to lie. How do we know? There is times I can't talk to my mom. Bc she has been all over me since our dad passed 11 years ago. So now when she really needs us. It hard bc she burnt us out.
Me and my sister are going thru this too! ITS AWFUL
Every person who has dementia is different as you say here. Some completely skip the stages.
I think a doctor isn’t going to talk about the stages in front of the patient for obvious reasons, so a separate appointment would need to be made.
They are not going to start off talking about how much is lost through the different stages when a person is diagnosed.
Also there is tons of information about the different stages on line, very accurate and helpful information.
When any terminal disease is diagnosed the doctor isn’t going to describe the decline into death, and it also depends on which medical professional you are dealing with. A professional who specialises in diseases like dementia will have the in depth knowledge, the average general practitioner will not.
The doctors seem to be a crap shoot. The specialists my in-laws saw didn't do or say much. My mom's PCP was excellent.
I’m going through this with my mom right now. She’s 84, and I’m sure she’s at stage 5. Some days I will talk to her and she seems like her usual sassy and hilarious self. Other days she will call me from the nursing home to say “Get me the - - - - outta here!” The videos you have posted are so helpful to me as I’m trying to figure it all out while at the same time take care of all of her bills and belongings, etc. we have both been having such a difficult time with all of it. Thank you so much for all of your help
My grandpa would tell us what he'd watched through his "window"...men fighting and they wouldn't stop when he yelled at them (boxing or wrestling) and about a really big yellow bird that scared all the other little birds away (Sesame Street).
As far as spacial changes in eyesight, I noticed that clearly with my friend who wouldn't tell that ships in the harbour were getting much closer to the docks.
Thanks for sharing your information!
I didn't know that constipation is the first sign which she struggled with for two years prior to diagnosis. Her doctor kept prescribing laxatives: 4 different laxatives of which she took incorrectly because they didn't work "fast enough" then had accidents on the den rug, kitchen floor... Afterwards, she swore she would never do that again but did it week after week.
Also she stopped talking the last 3 months which I didn't know would happen. She understood everything, followed instructions, etc.... but no speech.
I am learning more about dementia, too late now, even though I had researched a lot during that time, but hers was different from what I read or watched.
I have heard that constipation can be a sign - I think that was also one of the issues Robin Williams had. My FIL lost the ability to speak. He would do a lot of pointing at items, etc. He understood us but could not talk. It was kind of like a stroke.
Sounds more like the lest body /frontal lobe dementia lady on Charming Abode has that type.
The ignorance of doctors and the medical community in general is breathtaking. These videos are 1000s times better. Support groups with longtime caregivers help a lot too.
My husbands longtime PCP actively opposed any suggestion of anything other than just “spacey” or “I forget things myself.” It took a driving incident involving police to get the Rx for in-depth tests.
In his hospital stays, after his diagnosis, docs and staff would say “oh yeah I know about Alzheimer’s.” Turns out they had a gramma they saw periodically who mixed up names, or their aunt was forgetful and everybody said she had Alzheimer’s. (Maybe she did, but)
The biggest one-it became a major hospital “incident” with lawyers and everything-was the hospitalist who insisted hubs could self-report, while agreeing he had Alzheimer’s. Yes, he smiled and seemed compliant. But he had no concept of what he’d done, or not done. I guess it was easier to just say “well, he *said* he did and I thought he’d know that.”
Otherwise, not trying to “convince” them with logic or explanation is so hard early on. You have to realize they really can’t understand it, and a lot of it doesn’t really matter in the big picture anyway.
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I didn't know that (I have a few years before I'm eligible ;-))
Hi Betty, how's your day going with you?
So helpful and I love your reaction to ‘if only we knew or where to of about the disease.
Yes, switched to decaf for her, and I'm noticing a difference. The Hallmark channel is on all the time and I have been giving a narrative that I have been teasing her but I'll not do that anymore. A year ago she thought it was funny and acted offended, not when I do it I'm not so sure. One more thing, I turn off the electric range at the circuit breaker. Twice she has tried to cook in the middle of the night and it was a mess but could have started a fire.
Good idea on the stove. Newer gas ones have a "lock out" option on the range.
Thank you!
I really wish there was more support. Dad’s neurologist just said he had Alzheimer’s and “it is really bad.” I was left alone to figure all this out. I needed counselors or social workers or someone to help me gauge what stage he was at, when he should got into memory care, help me make the house safer, or literally anything at all would have been helpful. Honestly I got more advice by calling “A place for mom” than any doctor’s office provided. I live in the US, and there’s just no help at all unless you have lots of money and know how to navigate our convoluted “healthcare” system.
So true. I don't understand why there is no decent info for the caregiver. They are the ones who will need it.
Mayo clinic is amazing and thorough and patient ,
Thank you so much for your videos. I admire you for turning your Hard and Difficult experience into a service of Help to others who are going thru this dark tunnel and you are bringing them light.
God Bless You
Thank you so much!
Absolutely bang on., seen them all.
Thank you so much!!! I can’t tell you how much this has helped us!
Such a great list. I might add the lose of spatial awareness- not knowing up from down, left from right or understanding how or where to sit. Trying to dress or maneuver them to a safe position can be such a challenge and so frustrating that it is hard to remain calm.
Hi Shannon, how's your day going with you?
The medical system needs a huge overhaul across the board. Thank you for your videos!
So true.
My dad's Dr. never told us the name of what was going on with Dad. (He was thinking Patient confidentiality.) But our family needed to know what it was! There was too much denial already! When I called him directly Dr, said the confusion will only get worse over time. SO, IT'S ALZHEIMERS I SAID! He told me to think of an electric current, when dad seemed normal the current was flowing through his brain. When he was confused there was a short in the current. And these shorts will become more & more frequent. Finally we had an answer! When mom could no longer care for him we sought help from care centers. He was rejected by several because he needed 1-1 care! My suggestion to others is...don't wait too long or they won't take your loved one. We had to accept a care center that we didn't want. My dads mind went back to WWll. When a nurse came up from behind him & tapped him on the shoulder--he lashed out! From that point on he was heavily medicated & became a Zombie with a flat affect. He died shortly after this...What an awful disease!!!!
It is awful and I agree. Even if the help isn't needed yet, planning ahead will make life much easier. Visit care places and check with in home help. That way you have an idea of how long the wait list is and can plan better.
That’s an Allen’s cognitive exam you’re talking about. An OT or speech therapist can administer and interpret it, give you an idea what stages they are at.
My husbands neurologist has NEVER said this is what to expect. Or here are some groups you can join, here some pamphlets. Nothing
Most of what I hear is the same. No info on anything.
Same for me with my mom, pamphlets….
I have learned a lot from these videos.
Great video!
There are many books with this information and doctors should tell you about them!
I agree!
No one will even speak to you! My MIL is 100, living alone. She refuses all help except her elderly friends who should be getting help themselves. At age 97, she broke her leg. My husband has Healthcare POA and tried to speak to the doctors. NO ONE would even give him the time of day. Talk to the ✋️. Freaking incredible!!!
@@pauladuncanadams1750 It can be BEYOND frustrating. I just don't get it. No other disease gets treated like this one.
This lady is very smart .
Make sure you get a durable power of attorney early. I waited until after my wife lost the ability to sign documents and had to go to court to get conservatorship.
Depending on where you live, legal paperwork requires the person to be of sound mind.
Why would you need that if you are the spouse?
@@tinajohnson9867 Just because you are a spouse does not give you legal rights to any accounts under the sole ownership of your partner like IRA's or retirement accounts or the ability to legally represent your spouse. A durable power of attorney will resolve these issue without having to get conservatorship. Also it will help with social security when signing up for retirement benefits and medicare. Conservatorship is expense and involves a yearly accounting that must be filed with the court. Best advice I can give is talk to a lawyer when you get the diagnosis do not wait until there are problems. This applies for a spouse or parent
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 yes, but "of sound mind" is flexible concept. As long as they realize what they are doing at the time of signing the durable power of attorney, they can sundown later that day
@@tinajohnson9867 Getting guardianship takes longer because it has to be heard and approved by a judge. It also costs a lot more money than going to a notary.
Dr Pius Ozigbe is Always on time. compassionate. Empathetic. easy to take to and relates exceptionally well. Hands down the most effective and efficient doctor I recommend him. thank you doctor.
We are stuck between what is fact and help. Seems when we see doctors to include neurologist have not given any real direction or info. It seems the doctors just wanted to just say its old age and take Seroquel. When I speak to all these so called gov organizations and private services, the first question too us is do u have Medicaid. We do not. They state we cannot offer help. So far all we find is allot of talk with not substance. When u become old with commodities, the system writes u off. Maybe there are some good geriatric doctors or geriatric neurologist, but not many.
OMG...... exactly... what you said....... they never told us anything...... I was taking my mom to appointment after appointment with neurologists, and other specialists.... because she couldn't walk well, her legs were numb.... she was difficult, argumentative....... and NOT ONE OF THEM told me she had dementia...... her GP gave her a dementia test...... and she passed it.......she couldn't tell time.... but she knew all the other answers....... and so they just did nothing and lied to me............ so that I couldn't research her disease..... and couldn't prepare.....either her or me for what was coming............... and so instead I faced the guilt of eventually having to admit her to a nursing home after she made me promise I never would........... and I still didn't know what the issue was....... until a few months before she died...... when they finally told me she had vascular-cerebral disease.......... and whole parts of her brain were dead due to plaque build-up and lack of oxygen in her brain veins....... and then COVID hit.... and we were no longer allowed to visit her......... so she died alone.
A year before she died, she did not remember that she was divorced from my father, or that he had passed away...... she thought he was on his way to get her and they were moving to Illinois (for some unfathomable reason. We have zero connections to the state of Illinois)....... and she was devastated all over again to find out he had died and he wouldn't be rescuing her from assisted living........ but most of the time she was really cagy...... and wouldn't put herself in a position where anyone would realize she didn't know what was going on............ she was smart.... she knew her brain was failing.... and she worked hard at making sure nobody else knew...... but I did. And when I would try to talk about it, and what it meant she would just get angry, because her main focus was on covering it up. She covered it up from at least 2011-2020....... just always cagy..... and when she was end-stage was during covid..... so she lost 70lbs. in the last 7 months...... no one would feed her, and eventually she couldn't swallow.......... so sad..... cuz this woman loved to eat.
Sorry she was alone. My mom was scheduled to move in when they called and told me she would likely be the last one in for a while. The next day they said she couldn't move until "whenever." It was another three months.
My father had dementia in the middle stages. He had a simple heart procedure with anesthesia. He never was the same after that. His cognitive abilities took a steep decline. He had a concierge dr and a cardiologist advising him on this procedure and never once did they mention that some just don't come back after this. It would have been good to have known as after the fact every nurse we know told us it's very common.
That's horrible! I never heard that before, but it doesn't surprise me either. Anesthesia can be difficult on older people. It made my dad weird for quite a while (He was 88).
So sorry to hear about your father. The simple heart procedure, was it putting in stents? Asking because my husband's cardiologist had recommended that he might need to have stents
you do a good job on ALL videos I am dealing with stage 4 caretaking right now
Thank you. It is difficult, best to you on this journey.
My MIL with dementia no longer has the desire to eat solid food (maybe 2 bites per meal) - looking for advice or what to expect in the coming months on how this plays out (lack of nutrition/calories). When would hospice be brought in? She is 80 and currently living at home with her able bodied 74 year old husband
No longer wanting to eat is usually the end - but even then they sometimes bounce back for a while. I would give hospice a call. I believe the life expectancy has to be six months or less.
My mother had the same issue, and I saw a video that said they get confused with a lot of food on the plate, so I now put one thing on her plate at a time and that really helped. Also texture of food bothers her too. In between meals I will have her drink a little Boost to help. And before pills, I give her a pudding to eat.
Definitely call hospice. Geesh, with my dad, it was decided on Friday by a Dr in this medical facility that I never saw as of yet. My sister was the medical power of attorney. I told her repeatedly in prior weeks he is asking if he is dying. She was in denial, wanted a zoom call, as if hospice was going to hurt him. Hospice couldn’t come until Monday for evaluation. Tuesday, waiting, waiting for pain meds. Finally, he gets morphine inside mouth, on his cheek, dies 30 minutes later. If a patient improves, then they are taken off hospice. After that, his funeral, this sister emails everyone and let’s us know this hospice offers grief counseling. What ?? No thanks, a little too late by everyone. I’ll find my own grief counseling away from siblings.
@@MagsChase1229I’m so sorry for your loss. 😢
@@Bubblegumswitch Thank you so much. Also, I really like your user name, just sooo original. As a kid, I had my yummy share of bubblegum. Long ago, a friend 14 yrs old, died suddenly, she chewed Bubble Yum Bubble Gum, grape flavor ! Your response and username just brought me back to memories of that sweet, cute and funny child.
very good information .... which is power .... mahalo nui / thanks a lot!
Something that I haven't heard much about is how even the early stages impact your life. Right now my husband is in the early stages - so functional for daily living and still drives in quiet settings. But I wonder how long I can leave him alone if I am going out . He is fine if nothing unusual pops up but the littlest thing that he thinks he needs to solve is problematic because of his lack of judgment and proper reasoning. So even though his doctor would say he is fine (she hasn't yet given him a diagnosis but that is par for the course), he is not normal and it does affect our life. Also, I think the number of people suffering from dementia is way higher than the official count. Why are we surprised when someone in their 90s is still sharp? Because most people get dementia in their 80s. In Canada, doctors seem reluctant to give a diagnosis until the person is disabled enough to require a move to a facility.
That is the hard thing to judge because one day you can leave them and then suddenly you can't anymore. I don't think there's anyway of predicting it.
Shortly before we put my dad in a facility, we left him for a few hours while I took my mom to a doctor's appointment. When we got home, he was pacing outside (it was a nice summer day) and very agitated because he had "locked himself out" of the house. His keys were in his pants pocket. I'm sorry we didn't find a facility for him a year or more ago as the toll it has taken on my elderly mom is profound, causing her depression, extreme weight loss and her own mental decline. He is much happier in memory care.
My husband and 2 of his family had it. One who was formerly very quiet, became violent. My husband had auditory hallucinations.
I know someone who was very nice who became violent. My mom struggled with hearing weird things as well.
Hi Laurann, how's your day going with you?
My wife was into early stage 4 before I could convince the PCP to refer her to a neurologist for eval. I once asked "what do you do when you're dementia doctor has dementia?"
Wow, that's bad.
Very helpful. Thank you so much ❤
Mayo clinic is a amazing I have Alzheimer’s disease and they are great
Great list!!
Doctors do not share much information when it comes to dementia. There are many different kinds of dementia. There's Parkinson's dementia. I am considering sharing my experiences on TH-cam for the last 10 years. Thanks for your videos. Very informative, educational and interesting.
This is very informative, thank you.
I would also like to add that I’ve read a book that in my opinion addresses the root cause of Alzheimer’s..and what you can do about it. If you’re curious , and open minded , it’s ahead of research right now. He writes the cause is from heavy metals, Mercury and Aluminum. Once you understand that we are filled with metals, it makes so much sense….get any of the books by Anthony William. I myself have been following his advice ( which most of it free on his website) for 5 years now and I have such clarity.. it’s hard to describe. Thank you again, My Mom is just starting this struggle.
Thanks! I haven't heard of that book.
My mother grew up in a AZ copper mining town. They got their water from a well which was likely tainted with a lot of copper. Her father and 3 sisters and one brother had dementia and have passed. She has dementia now as does a younger sister.
Thank you.
You're welcome!
Great tips! If someone who has dementia and becomes violent what are the options. That hasn’t happened yet, but what if???
Thankyou for the Info..
My Mother is Sleeping all the time and starting Not to eat very well....I noticed when I give her water...it Sounds like she is having trouble swallowing now...
Thats why I thank you so much for your videos ❤❤❤❤
You are so welcome
Deb, really good info & you did a wonderful job explaining it! Thank you so much & God bless you and your loved ones!
Thank you!
Number 0: Getting a diagnosis.
I don't disagree with what you said - - so since the Neurologist didn't say that maybe my husband might need some calming meds (which he can't prescribe as it has to be a psychiatrist). I kept my husband home for 12 years, the last 3 were bad and I finally had to place him in memory care. All of the research was done by me through internet, videos, books, etc, etc. After 3 months he is on the Alz slide, but at least the caregivers take care of him. I will be broke soon, but working a job at 78 to help pay. I need another job. It is sad to watch this terrible slide.
Sorry to hear how hard it is for you at this point in life.
Hi Jeanne, how's your day going with you?
thank you! VERY informative. LouieLewy
Thx so much my moms 5 stage so true 👍
You’re welcome 😊
You have really nice videos
Glad you like them!
My Uncle with dementia's Doctor does not even ASK about his dementia. He asks my Uncle if he is eating well (he's not) if he is exercising (he's not) if he is still able to take care of his home (he can't) if he is taking his medications (he doesn't unless I stand there and watch him) and of course my Uncle says everything is perfect, fine and dandy, no issues at all! I have to be the bad guy and tell the doctor the TRUTH that Uncle is in denial. Then he says, OK, see you in 6 months!
Yup! Been there! I don't understand why they ask the patient. It would be nice if they had a five minute chat with the caregiver ALONE BEFORE they talked to the patient.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114
My fathers dr when we told him our dad shouldnt drive after several near wrecks said” he drives here fine. “ He was a pos. He also told us telling people they had dementia was a death sentence. My father was from an era where drs were infallible gods, rip dad
I wish I know what the numbered system is.
That will be my next video!
Can symptoms help determine the stage the person with dementia is in? When she went to the Neuro doctor they did tests and said she's moderate Alzheimer's with possible vascular accelerant but nothing about stages so we know what to expect next and how soon we can possibly expect these declines to happen.
Yes, the symptoms determine the stages. I have videos on that as well. A doctor never told us there were stages.
My husband has been diagnosed with the alzeimer disease, I believe he is at stage 4 at this point , I am so scared of the future, not sure if I will be able to cope with this being myself very fragile ( chronic depression) but any info or hints are welcome ….thank you for sharing …😢
I'm not sure if this is possible for you, but look at care options now - whether it's in home help or assisted living. You can look into them all now and get an understanding of what they do and what their time frame is. Where I live, home health aides were in short supply pre-covid, now it's worse. Eldercare lawyers will often give free one hour information sessions on finances. That may help as well.
Hi Lucie, how's your day going with you?
Am trying to figure out what
causing my short term memory loss is coming from. Thanks Debra
It may not be dementia. There are a lot of other things including food, meds, vitamin deficiencies, hormone imbalances etc. VERY important to see a doctor to determine the problem.
Good luck!
What does one do then, if the person is violent? Where do they go?
I really don't know what they do with those folks. I know someone whose loved one was sent back home.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 i think they become medicated.
My husbands as Alzheimer’s and sometimes doesn’t have patience
May I ask I know some of the signs is great my question Is what steps to take we went to a neurologist and he was just awful seeing him twice. He’s very rude to my husband. I have an MRI. My husband can’t go into that machine prescription for 30 days. Is there a timeline? Is there a place to go with questions?
Play❤
We started to notice very slight changes in my mom when she was 80. She is now going to be 88 in two months and is at stage five. We had her see a neurologist about stage three and he said she had mild cognitive impairment. We decided that there was no reason put her through an MRI or other testing when we knew she had dementia. Her PCP has been very good with prescriptions for her dementia, and memory patches. You just need to educate yourself and your PCP.
I had to look it up on TH-cam. I got nothing from the doctor.
Sadly, that seems to be the norm.
Go to Mayo clinic for serious issues
Dementia is something you wanna die from also
.most don’t get that luxury
Death by dementia is a long, slow process. Unless a person has another medical issue, it will likely be several years before they succumb to dementia.
I've just found your channel. I believe that my husband is experiencing several symptoms of dementia. Are there meds that can help?
Check with his doctor about the meds.
@@lifeunderdeborahspalm-thed8114 thanks!
Hi Kathleen, how's your day going with you?
How long does it take to advance from one stage until another
It can vary greatly from person to person. We were told that from diagnosis to death averages 10 years. My FIL was much shorter and my MIL was longer. There was a person in the assisted living facility that lived there for 20 years before he passed.
People should have a check on once a month