As a female INFJ, I applaud you INFJ guys! I'm not sure that I've ever met one of you yet but just know that you are the fairy tale! You are a rare gem!
Sadly we are the rarest of all types Male or female at about 0.4%. I don't personally know any other male INFJ, and have only met a couple of INFJ females, likely one is my current boss. Its frustrating to me when I hear women describe their ideal man as basically an INFJ, and they say we don't exist.
Hey I am also an INFJ male. I related to this video a lot. I struggle everyday with my sensitivity and keeping myself on the right path, in exchange it feels like I have gifts that others do not. My listening skills are different, I can find what is afflicting you with little information. Most don't like to hear truth or perhaps my delivery of it. Sometimes I can be critical. It's odd that I can't seem to get a girlfriend yet I get hit on constantly and tend to ignore women and sometimes people in general. I am asocial but I love my family very much. It feels like I could go down a dark path if life messes with me too much, but I am overall a very caring, considerate and great person. I enjoy helping people reach their health goals.
Why sadly? As an INFJ male, not only does it feel I lived a thousand times, but being the extroverted "writer" type...what makes a good writer is their ability to calibrate to different social settings and people. I've found myself at places from Beverly Hills nightclub all star musician private parties to Dog Town mosh pits in Venice, Ca to after party House in Brubank, Ca where bands that played Hollywood would go to after 3am and is the playboy mansion for heavy metal.I have partied with Hollywood A listers and famous musicians in the 80's. I've backpacked thru Europe and lived on a Native American reservation. I had great sex from multiple predator BPD that targeted me, and dating an ENTP tomboy that gave me tons of sigma points. I think the difference in attitude is the perhaps it's because I'm an INFJ-A type (less pessimistic)?
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 they like the idea of an infj male, but in reality personality type is not that relevant as other traits in a man; my experience so far to say the least.
How did I miss this video?!? When I was younger, everyone around me was bedding hopping, and I was like, “I just wanna find someone to discuss the nature of the universe, and eat French fries with.”.
im so glad i found this video! as a female infj, i usually find it hard to relate to a lot of my friends in terms of love/sex/relationships and its comforting to hear you express thoughts that ive held in my mind for many years. i thought it was interesting how you mentioned long-distance relationships because the majority of my relationships have been long-distance. connecting with someone on a personal and emotional level is more important to me and i also am very trusting of the people i give my heart to. also, i thought i was just a weirdo for loving to talk about emotions and deep subjects (because a lot of people dont! LOL) but its so comforting to hear that other INFJs enjoy it too! its weird because in a lot of situations, ill find it hard to open up; but in those situations where i do open up, i will talk and talk about feelings, emotions, etc. ahh, im so happy that i started doing more research on my MBTI personality type :,) thank you for making this video!
Yeah, alot of what you wrote is true for me too, especially when I was younger, and didn't know what an INFJ was, I thought I was the only one, or at least the only male. Long distance relationships are tough, though INFJ and ENFJ are able to make it work for a time, eventually someone needs to move, but we are nomads until we find our dream job and/or dream person. It is especially tough being one of us these days in the dating world as the hook up culture and online dating is far from ideal for those of us demisexuals seeking a deep connection.
Something that is hated by today's world is an attraction to sexual purity, but I cant help myself but want someone with a low number of partners. Not for purity's sake, but for simplicity. The baggage that hookup culture brings is real, and it damages people's ability to connect, especially on the level that I need.
Awesome overview of INFJ!! As a 62-yr-old INFJ you have nailed it so much, thank you for your courage at such a young age to say what so many of us have wanted to say!!
Thank you, I've only had this courage for about a year, and I wish I had it 15 years ago. I find it important to let other INFJ know they are not alone, as the probably don't know any in their life, especially if they are male.
this video just makes me confident to shoot my shot with someone I really like, it’s been almost a year since I had feelings like this! Thanks a lot she’s an infp with a lot in common 😊
I migrated over from a FB group where you dropped this video link. What you express has been my experience with true INFJs (as opposed to those cosplaying and assuming the attitudes of the type based on inaccurate MBTI online tests). My husband is an INFJ, and I previously dated another INFJ, having met both on OKCupid as it was the best, most efficient way to filter and screen for potential interests based on a high degree of compatibility. I’ve enjoyed incredibly rich, stimulating, intense, and deep connections with *healthy* INFx, and there’s something special about Ni dom/convergent-auxiliary that I am drawn to, as they “get” it. However, Ni-Ti and Fe-Se can also lead to unhealthy expressions and attitudes depending on a host of factors and variables. I think it’s important to explore a variety of elements that shape not just cognitive expressions, but also behavioral patterns, like attachment theory, love/apology languages, communication styles, temperament, inter/intra personal dynamics, etc. They’re all integral to the foundation and health of any and all interpersonal interactions and relationships.
00:00 🧠 INFJ males have unique perspectives on love, sex, and intimacy compared to other groups of men, often feeling out of place in hookup culture. 01:12 💔 INFJ males require emotional connection before intimacy, making casual flings or one-night stands challenging and unfulfilling. 02:23 🗣 INFJ males prefer one-on-one deep conversations over small talk, struggling to connect in group settings. 03:59 🤔 Trusting intuition is crucial for INFJ males when pursuing romantic interests, despite societal pressures or expectations. 07:35 💼 INFJ males excel in genuine, authentic relationships and are suited for long-distance relationships due to their loyalty and craving for deep emotional connections. 09:01 🚫 INFJ males are unlikely to cheat due to their need for emotional connection and loyalty, even in long-distance relationships.
There has only been one time where an opportunity for a casual fling could've happened, and I regret that I almost did, but when the alcohol flows that social side we suppress is like a different person. This is a great video btw, its nice to hear another guy feels the same way just about everything. If you ever have an interview with your subs I'll share my story lol.
I'm an ENFP currently doing long distance with my INFJ boyfriend, and I never thought I'd be capable of long distance before. Most of my interactions (if not all) with men so far have always been kind of irritating and none of them ever got me to enjoy a conversation as much as I enjoy them with my boyfriend. I didn't even know this kind of connection existed before, and thinking back on it now, at a subconscious level, the possibility of being the only one who craves something deeper really frustrated me. I had begun to think it was normal and had mostly given up on trying to find someone long-term, because what's the point of a relationship that's only exciting in the beginning, but that I know will go stale as soon as we run out of the casual "What's your favorite color/food/drink/movie?" questions and there's nothing more complex to talk about? With him, I've always known it's meant to last. It's been a long time already and we haven't even used up half of the casual questions, because our casual means going as deep beyond surface level as we can. I love itttt, and I love him so, so, so, so, so, so much. There are no words beautiful enough to describe how much I adore him.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 INFJ men are not the rarest male personality type. That would be ISFJ men. The thing is that most INFJ men would not take the MBTI unless their partner asked them to. They see it as self flagellation, and they don’t do that.
Lolllllllll I’m shedding a tear whilst watching asking y’all why you think this is only aimed for dudes?? Infj’s all be like this, and it’s kinda f*cked up in this day and age. This go hard or go home post Covid is keelling me. :’) Please don’t change, this honest talk hit home and made me felt heard.
The INFJ guy I met recently got me attracted to him without trying (ENFP gal here:). Our connection is something else than other guys I’ve dated before and I love how his mind works. He makes me laugh genuinely and we have so much in common! We’ve only hung out casually as friends though, since I told him upfront when we first met I was just looking for friends- but I’m starting to like him more than planned… the only thing is that he told me he was seeing another girl, like they would Netflix and make out- nothing more, at least yet. And also told me about his passed exes in college and girls he slept with. Not typical for an INFJ right?! I’m more of the type to not sleep around casually since I want to do it with someone special that I value and connect with on another level. Besides his sleeping around, he has the qualities and values I have been looking for in a man. I’m just not sure if he’s just looking to sleep around with girls still, cause in that case I should just keep it in the friend zone since I really enjoy hanging out with him… but another part of me says that he might feel the same way about me, by the way he reaches out to me and shares things I enjoy, and when we hang out he stays longer than he plans to but he’s totally ok with it. I’m not sure what to do
I had an INFJ guy in my life he was sooooo gentel and kind we were a classmates then the things went sooo far i loved him and i can't confess first cuz m an ENTP every single time we had a deep conversation i love his personnality he's sooo attractive but he didn't confess that he loves me he made me a lover of him but never said any kind of feeling to me he just took 7/24 of my time disscussing and talking and flirting "oh you're beautiful !oh i like your smile " without saying that he loves me fo real i hated that toooo much and a took away frop him
It's generally difficult to be an early twenties person of *any* type, since few people have "found themselves" yet. For our dear brothers ESTPs, difficulties will likely have to do with Fe and Ni at that age. Are the possible difficulties of Ti and Se worse? People have their difficulties at different aspects and steps of the process. As to INFJs being hardwired to avoid casual sex, it certainly makes sense. Fe comes before Se in our stacks, and thus we are more readily inclined towards emotional rather than physical connection. ESTPs may be more likely to have casual sex and then perhaps find someone they get an emotional connection with (and have a bit more difficulties with it than we do), while we prefer to have casual deep emotional connections and perhaps find someone with whom our inferior Se is more naturally taken to use. In reality, I'd say it's great that we are so in tune with the connection, since that's really what matters most to *anyone* who wants the greatest enjoyment. There is no need to overcome what only makes sense. Just better to focus on building on it, with Ti and Se. I *might* find it an absolute lie to say that INFJs are blind to people hitting on them, depending on what is meant... I mean, if someone is casually doing something all the cool kids do to flirt, I might be blind to such emotionless stuff. But if someone *really* seems to be into me, I definitely notice those cues even if she doesn't want me to - strong Fe. Remember everyone, that we aren't the only typically romantic type. HELL YES to being oneself.
Been there brother, its rough. I was a model at that age and caught alot of shit for the one night stands I turned down. Try to find an ENFJ girl, they get us, are on the same page as us in terms of relationships, and get us out of hermit mode too. However, sadly they often fall prey to narcissists in their younger years, even more so than us.
Feeling different and existential alienation is a hard road only INFJ will fully understand. This is possibly the subject which is most personal. No matter what your understanding of psychology is, if you’re not an INFJ, you cannot relate strongly. I’m currently writing a book largely based on the INFJ type and why it’s important.
As a gay man in Brazil it’s not easy to find another match especially when the supposedly one has shown himself as a narcissist! Now, I’m alone and intend to stay SAFE/SAGE against narcs. We’re terrible lies so that makes impossible to accept BS after catching people in lies.
I don't get it. Try this INFJ: If you are chit-catting, don't pay attention to the chit-cat. Use the chit-chat as a front, and read behind it what the person is like. When people are chit-chatting, their guard is down, they have no reason to be fake about the topics, and they are not going to notice that you are reading them because chit-chat is such a low key interaction. If you INFJs don't get that, you are really missing out! Also, it isn't true that INFJs are genuine. We are very good at being someone else. We are not genuine in how we relate with others...we are the best people-pleasers out there. Unfortunately. If you want a good INFJ, find an older one. It takes a long time for an INFJ to mature. If you want to meet the real person behind that INFJ people-pleasing facade, be kind to them. Be patient. Overlook their awkwardness. Never put them on the spot. Encourage them to talk about themself. (We know ourself way too well, but this is how we understand others so well.) Find out if you have a mature INFJ. If he changes bends the conversation back to you, or if he asks you questions about what you find interesting, he's a keeper. Just make sure he doesn't dominate the conversation (the other half of INFJ maturity). Best of luck. When we mature, we have a heart of gold, and yet it is soft and kind, sensitive and able to anticipate your moves, and yet not take advantage of this knowledge. An INFJ will know who you are after the first hour, and will understand you deeply after the first few dates, btu it might take longer for them to become completely comfortable with you.
Do you sometimes wonder that there might have been points in your life where you might have gone down another path as a borderline, or narcissist? I sometimes think I would have, if I was better at attracting women. Like, I would’ve developed a greater savvy for ruthlessness...
Narcissists aren’t made because they are good with women. Some are, though it seems grandiose narcissism is a thing of the past, and has been replaced by covert narcissism. Grandiose narcissists are at least charming, initially. Coverts are miserable, grumpy, misogynistic jerks, who hate everyone and everything(except psychopaths; they seem to really look up to them) all the time. If you’re happy, they’ll be miserable. If you’re miserable, they’ll seem happy. My husband is an INFJ, and as far as I know, he’s never come close to being a narcissist(men can’t be borderline). What actually creates NPD is a male child born with an ESTP personality, who has a mother who doesn’t show him the love and affection he deserves as a young child, and then as soon as he starts going through puberty, she starts making sexual advances on him, and treating him like he’s her boyfriend. And pretty soon, she’s raping him. This mother may be a borderline, but is more likely a psychopath. I actually think that it’s possible that a borderline mother in this situation creates a covert narcissist, and a psychopath mother maybe creates a grandiose narcissist. I could be very wrong about this. The father matters a lot as well. I would ask if this happened to you, but you almost definitely wouldn’t remember if it had.
@@katieandnick4113 The thing about boys who were sexually abused by their mothers is that they tend to grow up as borderlines on the down-low. Yes, men can be borderline (also known as bitch-made)They are the most misogynist against women because they are gay and women are their competition. Deep down, they hate themselves, and they hate being gay...but a woman's body, as far as it resembles their mother's, remains all the more revolting to them
@@QuartuvLarry men who are sexually abused by their mothers become narcissists(not always, as the innate personality matters, and some people are immune from developing a cluster B disorder, but they can develop cluster A or C). The reason that males develop NPD and females develop BPD is that males and females are incredibly different, and also, the age of onset of abuse, combined with the relationship with the parent who’s sexually abusing them, is usually very different. To be fair, covert narcissism does look an awful lot like BPD. When a female is sexually abused by her father(only this dynamic leads to BPD), he has usually always treated her “nicely”; she’s always been “daddy’s little princess”, and the mother has often been pushed away from her daughter by the father. And then the onset of abuse is usually around age 8, but it can start even earlier. Sometimes he waits until she’s gotten her period. Her father has never been mean to her, told her she’s worthless, etc(not usually anyway). But with a mother/son dynamic, the mother typically either made her son feel like he’s unloved and unwanted, until she can start having sex with him(usually starting around 12-13). If the mother is a borderline herself, she probably went back and forth all through his early childhood, making him feel loved one day, and then hated the next. The two disorders are very similar, especially with the narcissist is a covert, but there are differences. One seems to be that a borderline may have more cognitive empathy. This probably has to do with the fact that at least one person in her life, possibly two(her father, or both her parents) at least pretended to love her when she was little. The boys never had that. Their father was usually a narcissist himself, and his mother was either a psychopath or a borderline. And honestly, boys need to have an incredibly empathic(ISFJ) mother, or a mother who didn’t experience any trauma in her childhood, in order to turn out super well adjusted. And she also needs to be married to a man who is amazing. So, it just doesn’t happen anymore. Oh, and the narcissists completely repress all of their memories of sexual abuse, whereas the borderlines don’t repress it quite as much. I think this probably comes down to the innate differences between males and females. IMO, a very small percentage of Gen z and millennials were not sexually abused as children. But again, not many remember it, and they won’t start to remember until their abusive parents die. It’s important to keep in mind that, even if one parent isn’t overtly abusive, the child stills holds them responsible(as they should) for not protecting them.
@@QuartuvLarry what makes you think that a man with BPD would be gay? Nobody is born gay, and nobody is sexually abused into being gay. People who are born with an ESTP(primary psychopath) personality, which are most people now, have no self. They have no innate sexuality or gender identity. Usually, what causes a boy to become gay is that he has a psychopathic mother and an emotionally unavailable/uninterested father. Because he has no self, he emulates, or mirrors, the traits of his more dominant, more involved parent, who is the mother. When it comes time to figure out if he wants to date girls or boys, if his very effeminate, he will naturally assume he’s into boys. If he’s not super effeminate, he may still conclude that he must like boys, because his mother likes boys, and he relates to him mother very well. Or, his mother will come on to him, and he will be disgusted, and that will be the final nail in the coffin of what his sexuality is. And then she’ll leave him alone and move onto his younger sibling, or begin treating him worse than she ever has, because he rejected her. Oh, I should add that many of the very effeminate boys are sexually abused by their narcissistic fathers, and that probably plays a role in their “decision” to be gay. All narcissists(not gay men) are autosexual. This means they have no interest in other people, but only in how other people make them feel about themselves. Gay men are the same, but they’re sure of their sexuality. Basically, it comes down to them all being primary psychopaths. Narcissists are always shaky about their orientation, their gender identity(all trans women are narcissists or psychopaths), they have fetishes, they watch a ton of porn and can’t stop, even in a relationship. Everything they do, sexually, is only about them.
A lot of INFJ surround me. Not so rare. But maybe because I'm INFP..I like INFJ guy... but I don't understand his intentions. At first he flirted with me and then he just stopped. we still communicate constantly.
I agree, however not in the incapable of casual flings being that I've struggled much in the direction of understanding the hookup culture and body language etc. You name it I've looked into it. My core principles lay within overall happiness all around and I've studied on some cultures capable of open relationships and free lovers that provide happiness for all around and they are intriguingly good at loving thy neighbors and thy neighbors husband's and wife's as well as taking care of eachothers children. What would it take to grow a community tightly bound in the bonds of love spread fastly vastly and unabashedly superbly accepting of all from everyone and from all of everyone. Imagine no jealousy insecurities 2 faced obscurity of not knowing oneself being a ghost of the past at last not afraid to be brave bold and to mold the new age from nothing but the triumphs of the old. No anger no sadness just fits of blissness from many lovers kisses and a community storytime for the collectives kids to share the stories frightfully scary scaring the kids from repeating the mistakes we wouldn't want for any other to make.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 I understand where your coming from. Super respectable. 👌. Have you by chance looked into neuroplasticity and how it connects with the rest of the brain and how we think /re-spond? Another one you might be intrigued by if you don't know of it already is the subconscious in relation with Deja-Vu (AKA) Pattern recognition and its connections to our conscious mind as well as our emotions.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 not to criticize or anything. I really believe you might be interested in some of they're new/semi-new studies. I can send a few videos if you are interested. My personal perspective is nothings impossible and nothing lasts/stays the same forever. Given time almost everything changes until its at its final resolution resting point assuming there is one. Anyhow ✌️ ❤️ and 🐔 grease.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 th-cam.com/video/_K0SP0JZPro/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/akoL5RAee9w/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/lyu7v7nWzfo/w-d-xo.html About an hours worth of videos. I love learning and teaching so glad I could pass something on I'm sure you'll enjoy the knowledge as much as I have.
Oh God! Being good at long-distance relationships is not a skill; it’s a weakness! Those never, never, NEVER end well! Don’t even entertain the notion of having one; just pretend that she died
@@QuartuvLarry Yeah I would only do it now if I knew the girl was my dream girl. However, in my case a firefighter/EMT is a world wide essential job, so as long as it's an English speaking country I shouldn't have too much trouble continuing my dream job. I personally have no issue moving, done it a lot.
Women do not fall in love also easy, we no when some one speaks we hear what they do not say we read thier face we just no we are kind and see a nice no, so easy, born to be alone , love from Greece ,always turned heads but never cared, because the cruel evil want to distroy you the narcississts fear me , because they feel that I no who they are, talk and leave
As a female INFJ, I applaud you INFJ guys! I'm not sure that I've ever met one of you yet but just know that you are the fairy tale! You are a rare gem!
Sadly we are the rarest of all types Male or female at about 0.4%. I don't personally know any other male INFJ, and have only met a couple of INFJ females, likely one is my current boss.
Its frustrating to me when I hear women describe their ideal man as basically an INFJ, and they say we don't exist.
Hey I am also an INFJ male. I related to this video a lot. I struggle everyday with my sensitivity and keeping myself on the right path, in exchange it feels like I have gifts that others do not. My listening skills are different, I can find what is afflicting you with little information. Most don't like to hear truth or perhaps my delivery of it. Sometimes I can be critical. It's odd that I can't seem to get a girlfriend yet I get hit on constantly and tend to ignore women and sometimes people in general. I am asocial but I love my family very much. It feels like I could go down a dark path if life messes with me too much, but I am overall a very caring, considerate and great person. I enjoy helping people reach their health goals.
Why sadly?
As an INFJ male, not only does it feel I lived a thousand times, but being the extroverted "writer" type...what makes a good writer is their ability to calibrate to different social settings and people. I've found myself at places from Beverly Hills nightclub all star musician private parties to Dog Town mosh pits in Venice, Ca to after party House in Brubank, Ca where bands that played Hollywood would go to after 3am and is the playboy mansion for heavy metal.I have partied with Hollywood A listers and famous musicians in the 80's. I've backpacked thru Europe and lived on a Native American reservation. I had great sex from multiple predator BPD that targeted me, and dating an ENTP tomboy that gave me tons of sigma points.
I think the difference in attitude is the perhaps it's because I'm an INFJ-A type (less pessimistic)?
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 they like the idea of an infj male, but in reality personality type is not that relevant as other traits in a man; my experience so far to say the least.
I'm one!
How did I miss this video?!?
When I was younger, everyone around me was bedding hopping, and I was like, “I just wanna find someone to discuss the nature of the universe, and eat French fries with.”.
Bro same 🥲
Definitely, meaningful connection
🎉😂😂😂 related 🎉❤
im so glad i found this video! as a female infj, i usually find it hard to relate to a lot of my friends in terms of love/sex/relationships and its comforting to hear you express thoughts that ive held in my mind for many years. i thought it was interesting how you mentioned long-distance relationships because the majority of my relationships have been long-distance. connecting with someone on a personal and emotional level is more important to me and i also am very trusting of the people i give my heart to. also, i thought i was just a weirdo for loving to talk about emotions and deep subjects (because a lot of people dont! LOL) but its so comforting to hear that other INFJs enjoy it too! its weird because in a lot of situations, ill find it hard to open up; but in those situations where i do open up, i will talk and talk about feelings, emotions, etc. ahh, im so happy that i started doing more research on my MBTI personality type :,) thank you for making this video!
Yeah, alot of what you wrote is true for me too, especially when I was younger, and didn't know what an INFJ was, I thought I was the only one, or at least the only male.
Long distance relationships are tough, though INFJ and ENFJ are able to make it work for a time, eventually someone needs to move, but we are nomads until we find our dream job and/or dream person. It is especially tough being one of us these days in the dating world as the hook up culture and online dating is far from ideal for those of us demisexuals seeking a deep connection.
❤️ INFJ -T Enneagram 8w9 male here. God bless you
Something that is hated by today's world is an attraction to sexual purity, but I cant help myself but want someone with a low number of partners. Not for purity's sake, but for simplicity. The baggage that hookup culture brings is real, and it damages people's ability to connect, especially on the level that I need.
I’m an enfj & my boyfriend is an infj. I absolutely adore him.
I have found we bring out the best in each other
Awesome overview of INFJ!! As a 62-yr-old INFJ you have nailed it so much, thank you for your courage at such a young age to say what so many of us have wanted to say!!
Thank you, I've only had this courage for about a year, and I wish I had it 15 years ago. I find it important to let other INFJ know they are not alone, as the probably don't know any in their life, especially if they are male.
I'm only 5 mins in, but I love this. I find this accurate, insightful and hilarious at the same time. Great vid.
It’s scary how accurate this is to my life, literally just started college and figuring myself out. Thanks man
Glad it helped. I remember how scary those days are and videos like mine didn't exist in 2005.
as an INFP Female, Thank you! Really enjoyed this video.
this video just makes me confident to shoot my shot with someone I really like, it’s been almost a year since I had feelings like this! Thanks a lot she’s an infp with a lot in common 😊
Good luck. Trust your intuition
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 she’s an INFP, and everything I wanted in terms of interests, physical appearance & values
I migrated over from a FB group where you dropped this video link. What you express has been my experience with true INFJs (as opposed to those cosplaying and assuming the attitudes of the type based on inaccurate MBTI online tests). My husband is an INFJ, and I previously dated another INFJ, having met both on OKCupid as it was the best, most efficient way to filter and screen for potential interests based on a high degree of compatibility.
I’ve enjoyed incredibly rich, stimulating, intense, and deep connections with *healthy* INFx, and there’s something special about Ni dom/convergent-auxiliary that I am drawn to, as they “get” it. However, Ni-Ti and Fe-Se can also lead to unhealthy expressions and attitudes depending on a host of factors and variables. I think it’s important to explore a variety of elements that shape not just cognitive expressions, but also behavioral patterns, like attachment theory, love/apology languages, communication styles, temperament, inter/intra personal dynamics, etc. They’re all integral to the foundation and health of any and all interpersonal interactions and relationships.
Thank you for taking the time.
00:00 🧠 INFJ males have unique perspectives on love, sex, and intimacy compared to other groups of men, often feeling out of place in hookup culture.
01:12 💔 INFJ males require emotional connection before intimacy, making casual flings or one-night stands challenging and unfulfilling.
02:23 🗣 INFJ males prefer one-on-one deep conversations over small talk, struggling to connect in group settings.
03:59 🤔 Trusting intuition is crucial for INFJ males when pursuing romantic interests, despite societal pressures or expectations.
07:35 💼 INFJ males excel in genuine, authentic relationships and are suited for long-distance relationships due to their loyalty and craving for deep emotional connections.
09:01 🚫 INFJ males are unlikely to cheat due to their need for emotional connection and loyalty, even in long-distance relationships.
As you already know, your work is impactful and appreciated.
Be Well.
There has only been one time where an opportunity for a casual fling could've happened, and I regret that I almost did, but when the alcohol flows that social side we suppress is like a different person.
This is a great video btw, its nice to hear another guy feels the same way just about everything. If you ever have an interview with your subs I'll share my story lol.
Wow i need better lighting! Though I do kinda like the mysterious vibe lol
11 mins n 14 secs, a perfect amount of time for a nice n chill meditation session, thanks bro💙💙💙💙💙
I'm an ENFP currently doing long distance with my INFJ boyfriend, and I never thought I'd be capable of long distance before. Most of my interactions (if not all) with men so far have always been kind of irritating and none of them ever got me to enjoy a conversation as much as I enjoy them with my boyfriend. I didn't even know this kind of connection existed before, and thinking back on it now, at a subconscious level, the possibility of being the only one who craves something deeper really frustrated me. I had begun to think it was normal and had mostly given up on trying to find someone long-term, because what's the point of a relationship that's only exciting in the beginning, but that I know will go stale as soon as we run out of the casual "What's your favorite color/food/drink/movie?" questions and there's nothing more complex to talk about? With him, I've always known it's meant to last. It's been a long time already and we haven't even used up half of the casual questions, because our casual means going as deep beyond surface level as we can. I love itttt, and I love him so, so, so, so, so, so much. There are no words beautiful enough to describe how much I adore him.
This is so spot on. I wish I knew before I was an Infj.
You are doing a good job. Keep up the channel. You can do it.
Ohmygosh so glad these guys exist!! 😍
I'm in love😍😍
We exist though INFJ males are the rarest type at about 0.5% of the world population.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 INFJ men are not the rarest male personality type. That would be ISFJ men. The thing is that most INFJ men would not take the MBTI unless their partner asked them to. They see it as self flagellation, and they don’t do that.
@@katieandnick4113 Could be. I only took it because it was part of the psychological testing to get hired as a firefighter.
Watching this as an INFJ female, my tribe
Appreciated 👏 💐 🎉❤ from infj female
Lolllllllll I’m shedding a tear whilst watching asking y’all why you think this is only aimed for dudes?? Infj’s all be like this, and it’s kinda f*cked up in this day and age. This go hard or go home post Covid is keelling me. :’) Please don’t change, this honest talk hit home and made me felt heard.
Yeah it's so complicated 😭 thank you for talking about this ♥️
The INFJ guy I met recently got me attracted to him without trying (ENFP gal here:). Our connection is something else than other guys I’ve dated before and I love how his mind works. He makes me laugh genuinely and we have so much in common! We’ve only hung out casually as friends though, since I told him upfront when we first met I was just looking for friends- but I’m starting to like him more than planned… the only thing is that he told me he was seeing another girl, like they would Netflix and make out- nothing more, at least yet. And also told me about his passed exes in college and girls he slept with. Not typical for an INFJ right?! I’m more of the type to not sleep around casually since I want to do it with someone special that I value and connect with on another level. Besides his sleeping around, he has the qualities and values I have been looking for in a man. I’m just not sure if he’s just looking to sleep around with girls still, cause in that case I should just keep it in the friend zone since I really enjoy hanging out with him… but another part of me says that he might feel the same way about me, by the way he reaches out to me and shares things I enjoy, and when we hang out he stays longer than he plans to but he’s totally ok with it. I’m not sure what to do
I had an INFJ guy in my life he was sooooo gentel and kind we were a classmates then the things went sooo far i loved him and i can't confess first cuz m an ENTP every single time we had a deep conversation i love his personnality he's sooo attractive but he didn't confess that he loves me he made me a lover of him but never said any kind of feeling to me he just took 7/24 of my time disscussing and talking and flirting "oh you're beautiful !oh i like your smile " without saying that he loves me fo real i hated that toooo much and a took away frop him
Thank you for these videos man.
Glad they help thats why I do them
U look like u should've been on the vampire diaries
Yeah, you're right. I was so focused on what he was saying.. I realized I hadn't noticed his face.
You have a funny sense of humor.
Thank you most don't understand my dry/dark/sarcastic sense of humour, but most INFJ/ENFJ types do.
It's generally difficult to be an early twenties person of *any* type, since few people have "found themselves" yet. For our dear brothers ESTPs, difficulties will likely have to do with Fe and Ni at that age. Are the possible difficulties of Ti and Se worse? People have their difficulties at different aspects and steps of the process.
As to INFJs being hardwired to avoid casual sex, it certainly makes sense. Fe comes before Se in our stacks, and thus we are more readily inclined towards emotional rather than physical connection. ESTPs may be more likely to have casual sex and then perhaps find someone they get an emotional connection with (and have a bit more difficulties with it than we do), while we prefer to have casual deep emotional connections and perhaps find someone with whom our inferior Se is more naturally taken to use. In reality, I'd say it's great that we are so in tune with the connection, since that's really what matters most to *anyone* who wants the greatest enjoyment. There is no need to overcome what only makes sense. Just better to focus on building on it, with Ti and Se.
I *might* find it an absolute lie to say that INFJs are blind to people hitting on them, depending on what is meant... I mean, if someone is casually doing something all the cool kids do to flirt, I might be blind to such emotionless stuff. But if someone *really* seems to be into me, I definitely notice those cues even if she doesn't want me to - strong Fe.
Remember everyone, that we aren't the only typically romantic type.
HELL YES to being oneself.
Thank you! I’m 19yo infj male out here skrugglin…
So sad I'm sorry for your pain
Been there brother, its rough. I was a model at that age and caught alot of shit for the one night stands I turned down. Try to find an ENFJ girl, they get us, are on the same page as us in terms of relationships, and get us out of hermit mode too. However, sadly they often fall prey to narcissists in their younger years, even more so than us.
Feeling different and existential alienation is a hard road only INFJ will fully understand. This is possibly the subject which is most personal. No matter what your understanding of psychology is, if you’re not an INFJ, you cannot relate strongly. I’m currently writing a book largely based on the INFJ type and why it’s important.
As a gay man in Brazil it’s not easy to find another match especially when the supposedly one has shown himself as a narcissist! Now, I’m alone and intend to stay SAFE/SAGE against narcs. We’re terrible lies so that makes impossible to accept BS after catching people in lies.
I don't get it. Try this INFJ: If you are chit-catting, don't pay attention to the chit-cat. Use the chit-chat as a front, and read behind it what the person is like. When people are chit-chatting, their guard is down, they have no reason to be fake about the topics, and they are not going to notice that you are reading them because chit-chat is such a low key interaction. If you INFJs don't get that, you are really missing out!
Also, it isn't true that INFJs are genuine. We are very good at being someone else. We are not genuine in how we relate with others...we are the best people-pleasers out there. Unfortunately. If you want a good INFJ, find an older one. It takes a long time for an INFJ to mature. If you want to meet the real person behind that INFJ people-pleasing facade, be kind to them. Be patient. Overlook their awkwardness. Never put them on the spot. Encourage them to talk about themself. (We know ourself way too well, but this is how we understand others so well.)
Find out if you have a mature INFJ. If he changes bends the conversation back to you, or if he asks you questions about what you find interesting, he's a keeper. Just make sure he doesn't dominate the conversation (the other half of INFJ maturity).
Best of luck. When we mature, we have a heart of gold, and yet it is soft and kind, sensitive and able to anticipate your moves, and yet not take advantage of this knowledge. An INFJ will know who you are after the first hour, and will understand you deeply after the first few dates, btu it might take longer for them to become completely comfortable with you.
Do you sometimes wonder that there might have been points in your life where you might have gone down another path as a borderline, or narcissist? I sometimes think I would have, if I was better at attracting women. Like, I would’ve developed a greater savvy for ruthlessness...
The short answer is you were always too smart to let those control you (for very long), no matter the circumstances.
Be Well.
Narcissists aren’t made because they are good with women. Some are, though it seems grandiose narcissism is a thing of the past, and has been replaced by covert narcissism. Grandiose narcissists are at least charming, initially. Coverts are miserable, grumpy, misogynistic jerks, who hate everyone and everything(except psychopaths; they seem to really look up to them) all the time. If you’re happy, they’ll be miserable. If you’re miserable, they’ll seem happy. My husband is an INFJ, and as far as I know, he’s never come close to being a narcissist(men can’t be borderline). What actually creates NPD is a male child born with an ESTP personality, who has a mother who doesn’t show him the love and affection he deserves as a young child, and then as soon as he starts going through puberty, she starts making sexual advances on him, and treating him like he’s her boyfriend. And pretty soon, she’s raping him. This mother may be a borderline, but is more likely a psychopath. I actually think that it’s possible that a borderline mother in this situation creates a covert narcissist, and a psychopath mother maybe creates a grandiose narcissist. I could be very wrong about this. The father matters a lot as well. I would ask if this happened to you, but you almost definitely wouldn’t remember if it had.
@@katieandnick4113 The thing about boys who were sexually abused by their mothers is that they tend to grow up as borderlines on the down-low. Yes, men can be borderline (also known as bitch-made)They are the most misogynist against women because they are gay and women are their competition. Deep down, they hate themselves, and they hate being gay...but a woman's body, as far as it resembles their mother's, remains all the more revolting to them
@@QuartuvLarry men who are sexually abused by their mothers become narcissists(not always, as the innate personality matters, and some people are immune from developing a cluster B disorder, but they can develop cluster A or C). The reason that males develop NPD and females develop BPD is that males and females are incredibly different, and also, the age of onset of abuse, combined with the relationship with the parent who’s sexually abusing them, is usually very different. To be fair, covert narcissism does look an awful lot like BPD. When a female is sexually abused by her father(only this dynamic leads to BPD), he has usually always treated her “nicely”; she’s always been “daddy’s little princess”, and the mother has often been pushed away from her daughter by the father. And then the onset of abuse is usually around age 8, but it can start even earlier. Sometimes he waits until she’s gotten her period. Her father has never been mean to her, told her she’s worthless, etc(not usually anyway). But with a mother/son dynamic, the mother typically either made her son feel like he’s unloved and unwanted, until she can start having sex with him(usually starting around 12-13). If the mother is a borderline herself, she probably went back and forth all through his early childhood, making him feel loved one day, and then hated the next. The two disorders are very similar, especially with the narcissist is a covert, but there are differences. One seems to be that a borderline may have more cognitive empathy. This probably has to do with the fact that at least one person in her life, possibly two(her father, or both her parents) at least pretended to love her when she was little. The boys never had that. Their father was usually a narcissist himself, and his mother was either a psychopath or a borderline. And honestly, boys need to have an incredibly empathic(ISFJ) mother, or a mother who didn’t experience any trauma in her childhood, in order to turn out super well adjusted. And she also needs to be married to a man who is amazing. So, it just doesn’t happen anymore. Oh, and the narcissists completely repress all of their memories of sexual abuse, whereas the borderlines don’t repress it quite as much. I think this probably comes down to the innate differences between males and females. IMO, a very small percentage of Gen z and millennials were not sexually abused as children. But again, not many remember it, and they won’t start to remember until their abusive parents die. It’s important to keep in mind that, even if one parent isn’t overtly abusive, the child stills holds them responsible(as they should) for not protecting them.
@@QuartuvLarry what makes you think that a man with BPD would be gay? Nobody is born gay, and nobody is sexually abused into being gay. People who are born with an ESTP(primary psychopath) personality, which are most people now, have no self. They have no innate sexuality or gender identity. Usually, what causes a boy to become gay is that he has a psychopathic mother and an emotionally unavailable/uninterested father. Because he has no self, he emulates, or mirrors, the traits of his more dominant, more involved parent, who is the mother. When it comes time to figure out if he wants to date girls or boys, if his very effeminate, he will naturally assume he’s into boys. If he’s not super effeminate, he may still conclude that he must like boys, because his mother likes boys, and he relates to him mother very well. Or, his mother will come on to him, and he will be disgusted, and that will be the final nail in the coffin of what his sexuality is. And then she’ll leave him alone and move onto his younger sibling, or begin treating him worse than she ever has, because he rejected her. Oh, I should add that many of the very effeminate boys are sexually abused by their narcissistic fathers, and that probably plays a role in their “decision” to be gay. All narcissists(not gay men) are autosexual. This means they have no interest in other people, but only in how other people make them feel about themselves. Gay men are the same, but they’re sure of their sexuality. Basically, it comes down to them all being primary psychopaths. Narcissists are always shaky about their orientation, their gender identity(all trans women are narcissists or psychopaths), they have fetishes, they watch a ton of porn and can’t stop, even in a relationship. Everything they do, sexually, is only about them.
Great job.
As an INFP man I feel the same. I have had a few one night stands (2) and I didn't like it.
Same as female INFJs
I thought so, and ENFJs are very similar on their views too.
yeah im just the same... this helped alot bruh
A lot of INFJ surround me. Not so rare. But maybe because I'm INFP..I like INFJ guy... but I don't understand his intentions. At first he flirted with me and then he just stopped. we still communicate constantly.
Thank you bro
Speaking right to me
I agree, however not in the incapable of casual flings being that I've struggled much in the direction of understanding the hookup culture and body language etc. You name it I've looked into it. My core principles lay within overall happiness all around and I've studied on some cultures capable of open relationships and free lovers that provide happiness for all around and they are intriguingly good at loving thy neighbors and thy neighbors husband's and wife's as well as taking care of eachothers children. What would it take to grow a community tightly bound in the bonds of love spread fastly vastly and unabashedly superbly accepting of all from everyone and from all of everyone. Imagine no jealousy insecurities 2 faced obscurity of not knowing oneself being a ghost of the past at last not afraid to be brave bold and to mold the new age from nothing but the triumphs of the old. No anger no sadness just fits of blissness from many lovers kisses and a community storytime for the collectives kids to share the stories frightfully scary scaring the kids from repeating the mistakes we wouldn't want for any other to make.
I understand but as a demisexual the casual fling thing is not possible for me its how my brain is wired.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 I understand where your coming from. Super respectable. 👌. Have you by chance looked into neuroplasticity and how it connects with the rest of the brain and how we think /re-spond? Another one you might be intrigued by if you don't know of it already is the subconscious in relation with Deja-Vu (AKA) Pattern recognition and its connections to our conscious mind as well as our emotions.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 not to criticize or anything. I really believe you might be interested in some of they're new/semi-new studies. I can send a few videos if you are interested.
My personal perspective is nothings impossible and nothing lasts/stays the same forever. Given time almost everything changes until its at its final resolution resting point assuming there is one. Anyhow ✌️ ❤️ and 🐔 grease.
You can send the links I will take a look
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 th-cam.com/video/_K0SP0JZPro/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/akoL5RAee9w/w-d-xo.html
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About an hours worth of videos. I love learning and teaching so glad I could pass something on I'm sure you'll enjoy the knowledge as much as I have.
hey uh, it eeees what it eeeees
I hate hook up culture
Ehat does INFJ stand for?
Introvert, intuitive, feeling, judging l
Oh God! Being good at long-distance relationships is not a skill; it’s a weakness! Those never, never, NEVER end well! Don’t even entertain the notion of having one; just pretend that she died
I was 19 at the time and it was 2006.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 And it ended...well?
@@QuartuvLarry No, but at that age you don't know any better. It's possible for long distance to work but only if both parties are INFJ or ENFJ.
@@infjintegrityvsnarcissism7295 Ohhhhh, that's a gamble (a YOUNG man's gamble, of course)
@@QuartuvLarry Yeah I would only do it now if I knew the girl was my dream girl. However, in my case a firefighter/EMT is a world wide essential job, so as long as it's an English speaking country I shouldn't have too much trouble continuing my dream job. I personally have no issue moving, done it a lot.
I want one, but the one I want is a covert narcissist 😮💨
Yikes sounds dangerous
Women do not fall in love also easy, we no when some one speaks we hear what they do not say we read thier face we just no we are kind and see a nice no, so easy, born to be alone , love from Greece ,always turned heads but never cared, because the cruel evil want to distroy you the narcississts fear me , because they feel that I no who they are, talk and leave