Why are so many people with Autism also INFJ's · Deep Dive
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 เม.ย. 2022
- I'm sure those who are familiar with the Meyers Briggs Personality Type Indicator are also familiar with how rare INFJ personalities are. But if INFJ's only make up to about 1.5% of the population, then why are so many people with Autism also INFJ's? Although today's episode isn't based in any scientific or medical research, I do think it's both interesting & maybe even insightful to explore the links between ASD and INFJ's.
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I'm a questioning autistic and an infp!! I've always been fascinated by personality tests as a way to learn about people
I think INFP and INFJ are very close I have taken the test twice and one time the test came back INFP, but at that time in my life I was just fired from a really good day job and I answered the questions about routine differently LOL.
Me too :)
me too!
Also infp and autistic :) The only autistic people I personally know in fact (3 others) are also INFP
@@jessebreakspear6656 I always test as an INFP and obviously a lot of things do match, but theres a few really significant differences where I always felt INFP doesnt quite hit the spot. did a cognitive function test (as those are very different for infp and infj) and it turns out i share my most dominant functions with INFJ. also, same boat, unemployed currently and therefore currently more on the perceptive than on the judging side, but generally prefer having at least a rough plan/idea for everything to come.
I feel like we’re the same person. 😅
I’m in a phase of deep autism research…. On the verge of finally self-diagnosing. Trying to find enough (way too much) evidence to just take that plunge already. My road has been INFJ to Highly Sensitive Person to possibly autistic. (Oh, and I’m a therapist, too. So studying others is like my one and only interest.)
@honey I love it! It has its ups and downs, of course, but it’s the right fit for me. Especially now that I have a private practice and work for myself, at home! It’s taken me a while to find my groove in it officially, but now that I have it’s great.
@honey so, I don’t think I feel comfortable putting any contact info on here, but if you’d like to send me your email or something I can reach out. Or I can answer questions on here if there’s something specific you’re thinking.
Oh my gosh, this sounds like me. Just about to begin 2nd year of a degree that will hopefully begin my career as a therapist. 👀♥️
Also an INFJ currently over self-diagnosing and looking at too much info on autism but not bringing it up for diagnosis... and did I mention I too am in my first year of being a therapist lol
Well I'm not on my way to being a therapist but I am an INFJ and I find people endlessly fascinating. I want to get to know many different people and learn all about them. I have taken psychology just at university 1 level but I didn't finish, I also took part of sociology too which I loved too. I wanted to do philosophy too but I was told by a family member that it was too many arts I think and that I should take something different.
I think most autistic women find an interest in personality types and psychology as a whole out of desperation trying to make sense of people 😂😭 and I've thought this too for a while now that there is a strong correlation with being infj and autistic! 😊👍
No, that's just a lot of women in general. Same with horoscopes and the like. Myers-Briggs is pseudo-science. That's not a denigration of women, there are a lot of societal reasons behind why women tend to gravitate to one form of pseudoscience and men tend to gravitate toward other forms of pseudo-science.
@@wellesradio if it were pseudoscience then why do 88 percent of fortune 500 companies use MBTI along with the CIA and the military??
I feel the first person who replied didn't get the right point about your correlation, and for me it surely makes sense! just an interesting pov
@@agardenwithfireblossoms I agree though. Pseudo science is also socialisation-dependable.
@@wellesradioScience is constantly changing, though. What was scientifically proven years ago, may change at any time. New research, new discoveries, ever evolving. This is why I'm in the field. It's exciting to me because the possibilities are endless. Food for thought.
INFJ here too! Also autistic. As far as I am concerned, your metaphor for swimming out to the deeper water really resonates with me. It’s so hard to find someone else who wants to go that deep with us. I feel like so many people are content to live their lives in the shallow end, and that’s so completely unfulfilling in my opinion. When I rarely find someone who wants to go deep, it feels like my soul has found some sustenance after having been starved for a long time. I totally appreciate you putting the feeling into words! Thanks for this video. As soon as I saw that someone had done a video on both the INFJ type, as well as autism, I was all over this video. Thank you for putting those things together, because I’ve always had a gut feeling that us INFJs are probably heavily correlated with autism. It’s really validating to hear another autistic person giving voice to the theory! I also believe that the Highly Sensitive Person framework in psychology also heavily correlates to autism as well, but that’s a digression. 😉
I am the same. Its been a long time since my soul was fed in that way
Same here! Diagnosed at 33 with autism and Ive felt there is a strong correlation. 🙌
Me2!
I thought INFJ, being so rare, might not be a valid type but just autism rebranded 😂
SIM!!! EU TAMBEM PENSO DA MESMA FORMA! Sempre achei que infjs fossem autistas empáticos e eu penso nisso há 1 ano todos os dias da minha vida. Não tem vídeos como esse no TH-cam brasileiro, infelizmente.
My wife thinks I might be autistic. I'm an INFJ. Rules about manhood, masculinity and femininity don't make sense to me. Rules about socializing stress me out and confuse me. I hated dating for these reasons.
Maybe, maybe not, depends on your wife's basis for believing so. There's a ton of different explanations for having those viewpoints lol
This video literally helped me realize that my pattern of hyper focusing as an autistic person literally makes it so that I'm a fixer, I obsess over helping, studying and analyzing people to help them heal and connect with themselves and I never get it reciprocated. It's because my brain can go so deep.
Thank you for this you're so awesome
Same
I am also INFJ/Autistic/ADHD/High IQ!!!! I am so glad you made this video! So you understand: ADHD vs. ASD balance, INFJ vs. ASD nuances, and how INFJ+ASD+High IQ can be used to 3rd eye into people's heads via intellect and validated via intuition/energies!? I am litterally shaking right now. I have SO MANY questions!
My mother suspects I may have a high iq (alot of people in our family do) and I suspect I may have autism. When I was getting diagnosed with adhd apparently they got me checked out for autism too. I hope I can get myself checked again, because I've lost alot of sleep obsessing over it, lol
Same here. Also had the Old Soul and Empath labels too 😅
Same
Nah you are not. Myers-Briggs is bullshit no one with high IQ would believe it. Prolly self-diagnosed ASD and ADHD and high IQ from internet IQ test. Nobody with high IQ would believe something like 3rd eye even exists.
Comments are INFP, INTP, INFJ. I have been wondering how many MBTI types have ASD for 2 years now. Thank you for this video and platform.
Just as an aside..if you do want to find someone who can " see" you as an INFJ at least..find a developed INFP to talk to. It's the only Myers Briggs personality type that I have found that has the depth of feeling that an INFJ has and also has the extroverted intuition that is able to put all your feelings in context and translate them back to you. Due to introverted sensing they have incredible maps of your internal state of being and they remember it forever! I have two of these people in my life and the stuff that they tell me about myself is new and spot on. They like INFJs because we live in the feelings space but through a more logic based way so we can ground them and give them practical advice.
Most of my friends are INFP’s! They’re awesome :)
yeah infps are great both as friends and as partners for infjs, since both of them like to go deep in the things, especially with feelings and analysing the world and people even if infjs do it in both logically and feeling way that help infps to not be too impulsive. but i also think that other great friends/partners are intjs and enfps, especially those last ones since many time enfps are linked to the adhd and autism and adhd share some traits in common
This description is spot on, wow. I feel like INFJs look right through me, its almost creepy sometimes. ^^ But you put it in so warm words... =)
I also want to recommend ESTPs to you. They will admire you for your deep dives and soak it up like a sponge. And they may take you diving in the real sea in return. ; )
As your Duals (socionics) they can be very easy to be around for you and that may be extra beneficial for us autistic people.
You are absolutely correct. I'm six years older than my INFP sister but goddamn their emotional intelligence has no bounds. I feel out of depth when it comes to all the personal feelings and things she keeps close to her chest. She hates it when I try to pry because it's something personal for her but she does not mind me ranting on about my favorite things for hours. We have very similar interests and it feels like a dream, the way we interact with each other... it's like we're speaking english but not. We're speaking through feelings and empathy and it's insane. She's the only one who understands me completely, maybe not entirely, but more than most people
@@God_535 This is awesome! I love that you are so close with your sister. What a wonderful gift to have such a companion 😍
I’m actually an INTJ, but I believe that since the functions are so similar that it’s a similar situation. The whole “studying people from our own home” was definitely something that I can see in myself.
I have scored as INTJ and INFJ. Is because the Ni function, that has a lot to do with the video and being sort of autistic (asperger maybe). That freaking intuition throwing information out of the blue whatever you are, connecting dots where you never though it was possible. If you tap into that function fully inmersed on it, you pretty much are playing in your head like if it was your own matrix. What can be more autistic than that? I believe the difference between INTJ's and INFJ's is only the stuff we are attracted to. FJ's are por into peoples behaviour, TJ's into systems like mechanics, electronics, computers or someting you can form systems with
Very interesting- at work INTJ traits seem to be at play- However, at home or doing research etc I am an INFJ/ ADHD/ OCD/ Dyslexic - These are not weaknesses - strengths but it took many yrs to be okay with such! Social Worker and Clinical Therapist- Rational Emotive therapy and teaching are my most effective and affective interventions- hobby anything with numbers!
I believe a lot of autistics are also INTJ (and I know some who are). I myself am an autistic INFJ.
Those of us who are either Extroverted Intuitives or Introverted Intuitives frequently fall in the tism, ADHD range of life.
Must be intuitive functions fault.
Anybody want to switch types?
I'm also an INTJ, I've always been obsessed with getting things perfect, and getting things to work perfectly, it's both a positive, and negative trait
INTP here. I’ve always stumbled across the link between INTP, INFJ and being on the spectrum. There are a lot of similarities of being and INTP and ASD, I’m newly DX’d. I guess I have always understood the link of neurology and personality, thanks to Dario Nardi, but I always dismissed everything as being an INTP. I’m also got ADHD, and the more I’ve delved into understanding adult neurodivergence, the more my struggles and strengths in life make sense and I feel like I found that part I was missing to complete the puzzle of me. But now so realize I don’t know who “me” is. MBTI softened the shock, I think. When you’re a rare type, you’re used to being different than everyone else.
So, curveball, maybe you just are an INTP and society is way too narrow in its ways of defining how a normal person looks like. It is about numbers, because there are so few inuitives, they are not counted into the "statistics" of what makes up a standard human (I think those are pretty outdated as well), and so it is a sensory way of making sense of people who deviate. Really, in my point of view, it is one of the newer cases of discrimination on a larger scale, that so many (if not all) creatives and independent thinkers are given labels of ADHD and ASD.
Anyway, don't let my way of viewing it all get in the way of your process.
I'm also INTP and I remember noticing how many stereotypical autistic traits are featured in INTP, even if I thought I was just a nerd in my teen years
Also INTP, specifically INTP-T. I also noticed that a lot of the characteristics describe symptoms of ASD and some ADHD in the case of turbulence vs assertiveness.
I'm an INTP as well
I know I am a introverted intuitive … I have the lack of time sense of a perceiver … in fact, I am completely time blind … The rest is murky … Although the description you read of the INFJ *does* sound like me … Also - your father sounds a lot like mine - I had the same reaction you did …money can’t buy happiness - and it certainly doesn’t make up for abuse ! Additionally, it made me feel the money was more important to him than I was … and that he was trying to *buy* my good opinion instead of earning it - which my father very much failed to do … Thanks for the excellent video - it really does have the effect you described at the end …
I’ve never felt so understood in my life, I nearly cried. I am an infj and I suspect that I am have adhd and also on the spectrum as well! Psychology has always been my special interest and I’ve been going crazy with the autism research 😅. Thank you for this video
I feel the same! I also think I have adhd and am in the spectrum and am an infj, I feel so like, seen yk?
If you were on the spectrum, it's more likely you'd feel relief rather than elation
This video has been extremely validating to watch. That part where you highlighted how isolating/lonely it is to be the INFJ person that's constantly doing the mental load for others, but not being able to get the same support in return. In relationships (familial, romantic, platonic) I like that I bring clarity and understanding to others. I dont mind being "that" person in any dynamic. But the downside is, like every other human, I'm not always my 100%. Sometimes I need a me to be there for me, to come in read the room and give me a new fresh perspective.
The video however kind of scratch that itch alittle.
ENFP here. Adhd and Autistic who has always been super interested in MBTI and all things psychologically really.
( btw- ENFP is actually an INFJ inside out.)
Thank you for your videos so much. Truly, thank you ❤
INFP self-diagnosed AuDHD here!
I think the reason I am INFP over INFJ is because of my ADHD and how that relates to my autism specifically.
My brain seems to be in conflict with each other a lot. My autistic side thrives on structure while my ADHD side just can't stick to schedules cause if I miss my next task by even a minute, the entire schedule is ruined and my autistic side kicks in and panics thinking the entire day is ruined.
It's not fun LOOOOOOL I noticed you have a planner on your Etsy for helping people like me stick to routines that both feeds the autistic need for structure and my ADHD need for flexibility within that structure (if that doesn't make sense let me know cause that seems like a paradox LOOL).
@Koharu Macchiato That planner looks interesting. Need the structure and flexibility combo too as energy and focus fluctuates so much. On the Myers’s Briggs I am not always the same, sometimes INFJ, INFP, others but high on autistic traits. Not sure about ADHD. It’s been challenging needing structure and a lot of flexibility too. Similar to you.
True adhd can seem like Ne. I'm infp too
I was also obsessed with personality tests at some point and this is how I found out I am INFJ. I agree with you about people complicating everything and about the simplicity of life. I relate to writing a book about people in my head as well! And yes we feel so deeply. I also agree about layers people put on and hiding themselves. It's really frustrating to interact with people's layers rather than their true core selves. And this sense of not being seen myself, this is so true! I feel nobody in the whole entire world actually knows me. I also have no problem with constructive criticism because as you said, it's information. And yes, there is no space for me to open up even with the therapist!
I am 55 years old. I took the actual Meyers Briggs test in my late 20s and was found to be an INFJ and have always deeply resonated with the result. My only real life exposure to autism was when I was 15, my boyfriend's younger brother was autistic, and exhibited many of the "typical" signs of autism, so I never suspected I may have autism, but recently discovered that i resonate deeply with high masking autism, much more than previous mental health Dx. I am on a waiting list to be tested. I feel like so much of my life makes sense in the light of autism and that I can finally stop trying to change to fit in. Thank you for this video, it is highly validating! Its also good to know others are out here in the deep end, I've felt so alone here for so long, everyone I know prefers much shallower water 💧 💙 😊
I am a highly sensitive autistic and ADHD individual.
I'm glad you brought up energy reading. I've been an energy reader, not necessarily by choice, but I adapted to be one because of the environments I've been in as a means of survival. It has only strengthened itself throughout the years.
I struggle with direct eye contact, so my peripheral vision, picking up movement and sounds, has also been heightened to accommodate.
Overall, I respond to energy more than anything.
I hope that makes sense.
It does I am the same.
Yes!
I was an INTJ while I was in the Navy but after retirement my mask came crashing down and I realized I was autistic (my psychologist clued me in on that one,) and I realized I was an INFJ as well. I forced the “T” I.e., “thinking” as part of my mask because I had to in order to survive but I burned out from masking for years.
hello! you technically can't change mbti as mbti is about cognitive functions... not letter ditchtonomies. infjs can be disorganized, they can be extroverted, they can seem 'cold' and value 'logic'.... bc it's not about letter ditchtonomies. What this video, 16p in general, is describing, is more closely resembling the big 5 theory but using mbti ditchtonomies. mbti is about how you process information... you have a dominant function, auxiliary, tertiary and inferior. there are TWO axis - PERCEVING - which can be either through intuition or sensing (we ALL use both) and JUDGING - which is either thinking or feeling (again everyone uses all 4) your dominat inferior function will be the opposite function of your dominat one (so infjs are perceiving, intuition first, so their last function is sensing - both are perceiving functions) your second and third function will be from the opposite axis from your dom/inf, so for infjs it is judging (feeling, thinking)
the feeling, thinking and sensing, intuition functions, also come in additional flavours. let's call them attitudes, your attitude can be either extroverted (objective) or introverted (subjective) so sensing can be either objective (extroverted sensing) or subjective (introverted sensing) the opposite function of the same axis will have the opposite attitude. so if you have EXTROVERTED sensing, you will have INTROVERTED intuition.
infjs, are actually perceiving dominant types, they perceive the world first, judge after. the 'i'tells us the dominant function is subjective, the N and F tell us their first two functions will be intuition and feeling. we know intution is a perceving function (p), and as nonsensical as it might seem this means the J/P will be switched for INTROVERTED TYPES ONLY. so Ni is a Pi function, in the Ni Dom's their letter type switches,, =>ixxjs are perceving doms, ixxps are judging doms. so we know infjs have introverted intuition as their first function, the auxiliary function's (or the letter indicator that isn't the dominant one => F in infj) it's attitude will be the opposite from the dominant one, so it will be extroverted for the infjs' feeling function. hence they also have a introverted thinking function, and a extroverted sensing function last. the s econd and third functions can be used a bit more interchangeably than dominant and inferior functions, which are more polarized.
and if you wonder what all these functions even mean, um well that would be a whole new topic, but basically there are eight:
judging axis (feeling-thinking):
introverted feeling (Fi) accompanied with extroverted thinking (Te)
extroverted feeeling (Fe) accompanied with introverted thinking (Ti)
perceving axis (sensing-intutition):
introverted sensing (Si) accompanied with extroverted intution (Ne)
extroverted sensing (Se) accompanied with introverted intution (Ni)
have fun in the journey if you do decide to take it 😅😅😅 I know it can be a bit daunting just thought I'd clear up smt even though it's an EXTREMLY common misconception! /lh
I have now finished watching this video, and all I can say is that throughout this entire video, I found myself just nodding and saying “Yup.” Over and over again. Everything Irene said resonated so powerfully and deeply with me. Especially the part where she talks about how we always want to make a safe space for others and be that shoulder to lean on when someone is in need, and yet, never having the same energy returned to us. This has been a reoccurring theme in my life since I was very young. I’ve always been the one people run to when they’re in need, and I’ve always been told that I know exactly what to say to help someone through they’re struggles and help them to feel better. Yet, I have never gotten the same returned to me, even when I’ve asked for it or brought it to someone’s attention. To this day in my early 20s, I have yet to have found a community or at least friends that offer a reciprocating energy and requited interest and compassion. As and AuDHD who lives in Texas where the only Autism organization that allistic people listen to and advocate for is Austin Speaks, finding people who understand me has been more than challenging. It’s left me feeling lonely and continually wondering what is wrong with me. Even though my ASD self-diagnosis has brought me so much peace in other aspects of my life, I still don’t understand why I can’t make and keep friends and have deep connections with people, and why they often run from me when I show them my authenticity. Hearing her talk about this in such a way that perfectly describes how I am constantly feeling was so reassuring. To know that I’m not alone in this, and that I’m not “crazy” for feeling this way was so affirming. I can only hope that one day I find that person or group of people that will offer me the same energy I offer them in a space where we are all authentically ourselves. ❤
Oof...that hit hard. I often give everything to understand and support others, and others seem so disinterested with me.
It is lonely as heck.
I had a friend who would swim into the ocean with me (metaphorically). We grew apart, but he has been the only person I've ever had such a profound connection with. Conversations were fluid and we were honest with each other in ways niether of us had ever known before. I miss him all the time and I dont think I'll ever get that level of understanding with anyone ever again. However, I'm glad i at least got to experience it once.
I'm autistic and INFJ and he was ISTP
I am an INTP and ADHD. My therapist said I have several autistic traits too but not diagnosed. It seems many autistic people are INxx. Introverted and extraverted intuition is great at pattern recognition. Then again ISTJ seems sterotypically autistic in a way as Si likes routine. I think Paige Layle is an ISTJ. Also INFJs are one of my favourite types ^_^ and I love the bird sounds in your video. Great analysis. MBTI is one of my special interests!
Hearing that my type is your favorite makes my heart warm 🥰
Yesyesyes!!!!
I wonder if there’s actually a higher frequency of INXXs on the spectrum, or if the weaknesses of our personality types compound the issues we face and make it more likely we would reach the point where we would feel the need to seek help and diagnosis. We’re definitely more likely to be on the internet researching and discussing it than other types.
I can’t help but imagine that the ESXXs’ personality traits might compensate for their difficulties. I know personally for me as an INTP I already am not that interested in what is going on around me and ADHD only makes it that much more difficult to focus on those things when I have to.
This video is a feat of communication… I’ve been thinking about energy lately and how autistic people can spot discrepancies between energy and words/presentation. Everything in this video was on point. Being misunderstood is tiring, and it’s discouraging when people seem to be limited in their empathy/imagination/ability to perspective-shift and too mentally tired to join you. You made sense the entire video haha
I am an INFJ, self assessed ASD in late adulthood, and HSP. I’ve probably been deeply masking my whole life. It is so refreshing to watch your videos and finally hear someone express the thoughts and feelings I’ve been carrying alone in my life.
As an INFJ-T, I absolutely relate to this video!
Your video was the first one I came across when finally searching for INFJ and autism. I have known I was an INFJ for many years but only realized I was Autistic and ADHD recently. Everything makes so much more sense to me now. I particularly resonate with the intuitive part where someone is presenting a certain way but you can tell their internal energy does not align with their external presentation. When I was younger I would "mess up" sometimes and reveal that I knew something of what was going on with the person and the result was always fear and then what usually followed was hostility. This I still don't understand because hostility seems like the opposite of what is logically needed. Mostly I learned not to tell anyone what I knew which leads to your other statement of feeling very misunderstood. Does this resonate with any other autistics or INFJs? On the plus side I have found some people including my partner who do see me clearly and these people are gifts beyond anything I can measure.
Omg... yes to accidentally adressing or god forbid instinctively/impulsively asking when someone is visibly upset, freaking out, scared, etc... 😅 Suddenly they are yelling and whoah man... ok sorry. Had no idea how invasive people see talking about real time feelings.... like communication is the goal right? Or they might find that asking can really harm their attempts to cope or pretend for the sake of maintaining social norms 🤔
I later realized people take time to process what they feel, and that delay is different from person to person, and from situation to situation. Its like a landmine, but I later learned that counceling techniques, motivational interviewing, and "holding space" approaches really help when addressing these things with people.
I am ASD, ADHD, and INFJ too 😊
Sometimes knowing and reading too much causes social problems 😅
Thanks for sharing, your last sentence reminds me to remain hopeful. I remember telling a girl in HS who was supposed to be my friend that I wish I was blind. Because I was genuinely confused and so alone feeling like I could see right through people while everyone else accepts what everyone presents. And I had to watch my friends hug my English teacher, asking me why don't I give him a hug too, who caught a case a few years after we graduated for an ongoing relationship with a student. To this day everyone thinks I'm a very cold person.
I feel this so hard.
I’m obsessed with Myers Briggs and other tests and I often ask people up front if they know their types. For people I’ve known a long time, I’ll ask if I can give them the test.
Welcome to the club, lol ! I’m a 59 yr old highly functional autistic, Dominant/introvert Sigma INFJ-T Heyoka autodidact myself. Highly creative in the arts/music, behavioral psychology, and honestly, creative in every possible way at all times, but have always been extremely camera and recording shy. Very few pictures exist of me, no matter how much family and friends have tried to ambush me, mostly to no avail because I have extremely fast reflexes as well. I have no idea how you stand recording yourself for TH-cam, let alone perfecting it for public consumption ? My humility is extremely stifling when it comes to myself. It’s nice to not feel alone and crazy though, seeing your videos. I often use sayings I’ve coined like, “ Fame and fortune is a gilded cage of your own creation “, “ trust no source and question absolutely everything, especially yourself “, and “ never trust academia “. I knew academics couldn’t be trusted before kindergarten. I proved the pseudoscience of psychology incorrect at utilized base level theories within the first two weeks of my double major. How do you continue with manipulative programming throughout academic studies, especially when you discover the professors also know this yet must push the materials given or lose possibly everything they’ve worked so hard to achieve, including family, friends, employment, possibly leading to imprisonment because the powers are so great ? My career focuses and changes usually last approximately two to three years, of which I always excel at, yet must get out before I compromise my morals and values to much. Once I no longer find things within the systems for me to modify or challenges to test and push myself in, I feel no more need for me, and must seek change. Do these things ring bells for you ?
The pattern recognition really describes what I do too . One on one is best for me …I’m an INFJ and I’m wondering how autism fits in with me. I struggle with making friends. But want to help anyone if I can. To avoid burnout I have to make a list of 3 things per day to accomplish … and I’m also a perfectionist …so if I don’t get the 3 things done , I have to try to not beat myself up . I have days where I just need to rest. You video resonates with me 100%! Thank you
Wow this is spot on for me! I just found out about autism and thought.. um I thought that was just being an INFJ 😆. My special interest of psychology makes so much sense now. Everything you said was 100% accurate to me. I even have a photography buisness so the list of what I need and the times was funny
24:07 - 25:09 omg this! People really tend to put on layers when they're in a large group and I feel really bothered by it. I would be sitting or standing there and thinking to myself like -- That's not how you normally act, Susan, snap out of it! By the way, as an INFJ/autistic person, everything you describe here is absolutely bang on. Thanks for such an insightful video!
I have always struggled with that deep sense of loneliness you described, especially when sleeping next to a significant other who I sensed would/could never understand me...
I am so grateful you articulated this experience (and I really appreciate the imagery), as for the first time I am hopeful; You show that it IS possible to find others who think like this (the comments show there are at least several of us 😅), others who could understand and really see me 🤗
Heard about these tests so I went through it. Result was INFJ-T.
Which lead me here because I heavily suspect I have Autism because everything makes perfect sense about it, and it's so familiar.
Interested to hear about the possible link in this video.
Lesss gooooo! XD
I resonate with this 100%. I’m an infj and just now, at 51, self diagnosed as autistic. This video is the first time I’ve heard someone articulate my inner world. Thank you so much!
I don’t even know where to begin, I’ve never related to someone more than you, it’s like watching myself it’s so wild!! Also an INFJ, your videos are so amazing and important and I’m so grateful to have found you 💖 you’ve definitely prompted me to find a good therapist to diagnose me!
I remember seeing a Dan Akroyd interview (before I knew I was on the spectrum) and I was all like "I can't put my finger on it but he reminds me of me" I don't know if he's an INFJ personality but he's famously on the spectrum. anyways it's more good than bad to get diagnosed. I mean for me at least, it was very sad at first because if I knew sooner It would have saved me a lot of suffering. but once you get all that drama over with it's actually quite funny because all my close friends and family were like "yeah tell me something I don't know" anyways "preaching to the choir now probably I know" long story short I felt kind of lost before I was diagnosed LOL seriously I was starting to wonder if I was an alien abductee or something.😆
Same! Ever since discovering what Autism was, and having it describe my character traits, whenever I watch a video discussing the topic it always resonates deeply.
It's so comforting knowing I wasn't just odd, strange, rejected for no reason, misunderstanding so much for no reason, social anxiety etc.
Unfortunately I don't know anyone in my life that is similar.
I recently got diagnosed with autism, and I'm an ENFJ 2w1!
It's interesting for me to think about my personality type and why I prefer the functions FeNi (enfj). I think my preference for Fe comes from the fact that I'm constantly needing to know and understand people and what's going on with them. My eyes are always on people and how to interact with them and care for them and how to be able to communicate and get everyone on the same page.
My Ni is constantly running in the background and taking in every ounce of more subtle information it can and is neatly organizing it and making sense of what I'm experiencing outwardly, inwardly.
And that, to me, is such an autistic sounding feeling and experience, which I think is super fascinating and interesting. It just all lines up so well for me, and I love that.
Btw, you make amazing content, and I find a lot of useful information in it and a lot of relatability in it as well!
Ever since I can remember I felt like I was put on this earth to observe humans.
am INTP, and I just found out about autism and I am shook
I receive enjoyed your video.🥰💯👏🏼
I am INFJ. Your comparison of autism and INFJ is on point.
I am on the spectrum.
I resonate with everything you said.
Blessings Beautiful Irene.🙏🏼😇❤️🌺
Finally someone to address the similarities between autism and infj.as an infj I recognized the pattern
I personally view autism as the hidden strength that made modern civilization possible. There are actually very little people really able to make things happen.
Oh my god. You described the way I was financially abused growing up to a T. I have never heard someone talk about this. I'm glad I'm not alone
Sending you love💗 & wanting to talk more about this topic in the future. Probably in my members-only episodes since it’s probably not a common experience!
Your videos resonate with me so much. The paradox of being autistic and having ADHD and I’m also INFJ. I’m self diagnosed and still sometimes wonder if I’m right about myself, and then watching your videos and reading about other peoples experiences, it then reinforces my self diagnosis. Thank you for putting so much thought and energy into helping others like you understand ourselves.
I thought I was introverted, but realized maybe I'm just autistic, so I have a desire to be with people and socialize, but I have a literal barrier to it.
Wowww I was told recently by my therapist that he thought I had ASD (I was diagnosed with ADHD years ago), so I've been researching ASD traits/symptoms online and came across your channel. I'm INFJ too!!! So interesting... More evidence that my therapist was correct 😂.
43:33
My mouth is hanging open. Most of my therapists haven’t really furthered my progression that much. Only a few times has a therapist taught me something new about myself. I could count the amount of times that has happened on one hand. I find that when a therapist says “I’ve noticed this thing about your situation” and they’re expecting me to be taken aback, but I respond with “I’m glad you noticed that too.”
My current therapist has me doing worksheets all the time that I insist I do not need to do. I’ve done a values sheet three times with her. And throughout the whole process, I’m just bored because I’ve spent years of reflecting on my values so deeply that people complain that I’m picky. It almost feels like I’m the therapist.
I’d love to have a therapy experience where I actually get therapy. I wonder if autistic people with autistic therapists have better therapy experiences?
I have ADHD and am awaiting an ASD evaluation appointment.
When I was really depressed I got INTJ, and now I usually get INFJ. I wonder if your emotional state affects this stuff.
Update: ASD level one confirmed
You were more attracted to thinking because when depressed you are in problem solving mode. But your thoughts just go circles.
And you dont want to feel depressed so you try not to feel or are just numbed. So your feeling side is suppressed.
Thats how I think it works.
I am entp btw
I am the opposite, been diagnosed with ASD and now waiting for an ADHD assessment. Good luck on your ASD evaluation appointment!
@@zaraandrews600 Thanks, I was confirmed ASD 1 and ADHD-I in September of last year!
Sorry if this upsets you, but it seems like you took the 16 personalities-test. It's not reliable and many people get incorrect result. I recommend taking a test that measures cognitive functions, for instance sakinorva
@@user-ls1bw2uw1j I don't really care too much about my supposed personality type, but thank you.
I would change “weaknesses” with “risks”. Because, as an old-ish INFJ, I can see how it is useful (albeit tiring) to keep being vigilant on those aspects in order to be always ready to grasp the opportunity to grow. There’s a balance to find, of course, because one cannot always be on self-questioning mode. It’s very important to prune superficial judgments, I just want to underline the importance of keeping ourselves flexible. INFJs are very wise, but it’s always useful to ask ourselves how to improve our range of view.
I tell myself that if I am too comfortable dismissing a concept, I should allow myself 5 more minutes to think about it. I love to poke myself like that. Poor me. I need rest 🥲
Oh yeah I forgot. Would totally watch a part 2. Also, Laughed hard in different parts. It’s nice to see you are getting comfortable :)
You’ve described me. I’m an INFJ and most likely autistic. I can relate to pretty much everything you read about INFJ’s and how you experience those traits and aspects.
This is my first time watching one of your videos, I was searching for the coorelation of INFJ and Autisim (specally on women) because I'm an INFJ and possible Autistic (not yet diagnosed) and this video popup, OMG I can relate with a lot of your toughts, it make me feel really validated, and you put somethings into word that I always thought, but never spoke to anybody about, and it feels so good, it's comforting. Thank you! You defently gaind a new viewer (Sorry if its worded werid, english is not my frist language)
Meyers-Briggs is a personality inventory where they came up with 4 categories that could each be in two states and asked people to sort themselves into them. It doesn't have any magical explanatory power but it's a perfectly fine tool to help people describe themselves, and that's great!
It's so weird to watch someone else and yet see/hear yourself in them. You hit the nail on the head so many times.
Pattern recognition as intuition makes so much sense to me. I tend to identify patterns at lot sooner than most people whether visually or in behavior. A lot of people tell me I’m just spitballing but to me it’s intuitive and can be traced if you pay enough attention to repetition.
Here's my tangent: Oh my goodness, people not working at work has always been a issue for me to accept (especially people being on thier phone) because the work will fall to other people & there seems to be little concern for coworkers.
This was a great one, thank you for the work you put into your channel & the ND community 💜
Yes I'm like that too. I appreciate other people at my work taking their job seriously like I do
"Life is so simple, people are so simple" OMG, it's like hearing myself talking! I'm also an INFJ and my therapist thinks I might be autistic. I'm 33 and really need some answers and better understanding of myself and you are helping me with that. No more masking for me!! Thank you!!
I have 3 children. One is autistic-ADHD, one is ADHD, and the youngest has Asperger’s. I am an INFJ. Only recently have I begun to make the connection for myself. Thanks for the video! This helps!
I’ve recently felt a connection with autism. I’m INFP and enneagram type 4. I love personality tests, after I found enneagram I tried to get everyone at my job to take it and it helped me categorize and feel more comfortable socializing. I love your videos! Thank you for posting
I’m ENFJ wit ADHD questioning whether I’m autistic 🫶🏾 love ur videos sis
INTJ here :) Thanks for your videos, I always listen to the podcast version. Came here to let you know I'm a fan too! 💞
I'm INFJ too and I related so much with everything you read (and the other parts of the description) the first time I read it. At the time I didn't know I had ADHD and possibly Autism too, and I'm so glad you made this video bc it helped me connect so many dots about myself. I brought it up with my psychiatrist and he just said "I don't see autism" and in my head I was like "yeah, that's the point. You don't see it bc I've been hiding it for three decades!!". I definitely relate to having two very opposing sides in my head - I crave routine but I'm unable to maintain it, love routine but get bored etc... Thank you for all your hard work creating these videos.
Oh my gosh, preach girl about the disdain for slacking co-workers or workers in general. I feel this sooooo much. I think this is something for sure that resonates with me and my autism.
I got INFJ-T on the test. At first I was surprised to even b told I'm an introvert because I had a fear of being alone and I'm a chatterbox. Now that I have grown I am ok with being alone, I realize that being in my head isn't as scary as I thought. I have such a strong interest in other people and care deeply about them. I definitely am not a shallow person, I have a rich inner world, very strong imaginative. I have to be careful not to let myself become too frightened from some of my imaginings. I experience such awesome beauty and I do not know how to express it, I feel that I must because I know that people aren't noticing it and they need to, it can change their lives, the universe is a beautiful, wonderful, exquisite place. I feel very passionate about it. I also am very passionate about wanting to help people. Anyway I'm not sure where I'm really going with this. I really connected with your video. I had seen a different video where they recommended you and I took quite a while getting to you, so worth it, subscribed. I am in the process of self diagnosing. I researched or tried to and now I'm in a weird phase where I feel more unsure but feel that I have gathered a lot of information and I know I connected with so much of it.
Really loved how you went through this step by step and shared your own experience! Gotta admit that since my diagnosis I haven't made a connection between my ASD and the absolutely relentless INFJ outcomes of every Meyers-Briggs-ish test I took, but now it just makes so much sense.
Taking something as info, instead of personally, is me 100%. It’s one of the things that have always baffled me about others. How people can take info & instantly make it a personal attack, baffles my mind.
I could cry. This morning, I thought am I autistic, magically, came across INFO. I was writing a book.. had a chapter on success, and society. I also feel vibrations, wrote about energy, I feel highly attuned. I have perfect pitch. I did not mask, always happy to be me, different. I’m can be vulnerable. My ex, he keeps his emotions locked in a box, I could not read his energy. I believe my ex also autistic, we are the same, except I know myself, he does not. He masks and I don’t. Thank you so much. I always swim in the ocean literally each day. My ex can not feel, lack of interoception, a wire missing, yet. Feel I have his wire, too much wire.
I am an INFJ, and thought for a period of time that I might be autistic, after watching this video and relating literally to everything you explained about autism , now I'm like this is getting serious and I need to really search more deeply about autism . So thanks a lot for making this video .
I agree ^^ And seeing how money is destroying the entire world, makes me heartbroken. So many people destroyed by money or for money.
Way late here, but this video made me cry. INFJ, recently suspecting that I am autistic. I've never felt so seen an validated and UNDERSTOOD. I never knew other people felt the same depth because I've never received it in return in any of my relationships or friendships. I appreciate this deep dive so much.
Nobody needs to understand me, now that I understand me !!
Alright… I relate SO hard to this, almost word for word everything you said. Made me realize how glad I am to have a sister who’s also my best friend-she’s always been my “deep dive” buddy and doesn’t hesitate to explore the ocean of tangents/possibilities/meaning with me 🥺
INFJ and Autistic in your video title caught my attention immediately! I took the Myers Briggs test many years ago and I have since blamed my INFJ personality type as the root of my problems and what makes me so uniquely weird. Kind of hard being told "it's just your personality" though.
My thoughts on the two subjects immediately jumped to: if enough of us are INFJ or P, it would be extremely interesting if the Myers Briggs test questions could be incorporated as part of the diagnostic testing for autism due to the correlation. It may be pseudoscience, but from what I see, most of the diagnostic methods for autism are based on observable traits alone, since there's no brain scan or blood test at the present time that unequivocally proves autism or not.
I am more and more certain I am autistic, journalling so many memories, going through my entire life story, discovering more and examples. Despite that, I probably will choose to never get an official diagnosis partly due to my age, but mostly due to the cost. If INFJ is so rare and that score proves to be linked to autism, it seems like this test would reduce the cost of diagnosis and remove that barrier for many.
I got sidetracked with my thoughts and I'm only 20 minutes in so I'm going to go watch the rest of your video now to hear the rest of your thoughts. I have watched a lot of your videos recently and they have all been helpful thank you!
This is SO me. Not only people IRL but as a questioning autistic, I think I'm starting to uncover what my special interests are. I wasn't sure if my interests counted as special interests because i wasnt sure they met the criteria. And a major one is deeply connecting to and 'obsessing' over fictional characters, which has informed how I read people IRL. It's how I've learned social skills besides people watching and a good chunk of my life experience is living vicariously through fictional and real people. It just does something for my brain to find a character I really like and deep dive into WHO they are in the world they're from.
I'm INFJ, and there are some points on the INFJ profile that I don't agree with, mostly weaknesses, because I feel like even tho some of them I used to have I've worked hard at improving on those weaknesses so I do.t have them anymore. 🤔 so that's something to consider.
i’m an infp ! so cool my moms an infj and so is my close friend
All my closest friends are INFP’s/ ENFP’s! My partner is an infp ☺️
I am INFJ. My daughter who is my best friend is an ENFP. My husband is an INFP.
“I didn’t realize the ocean went that deep.” If that isn’t the reaction I get at least twice a week.
INFJ 👋- also something I have long suspected of myself being on autistic spectrum and of recent I have also learned I may have BPD although I just see it's as a lot of different categorizations of explaining people's personalities and behaviors based on genetic and cognitive diversity.
The deep searching and conversations completely understand this and I find it extremely hard to get this with most I will be very much a new explorer and I get a lot of people complain that I am aimlessly wandering like I am doing nothing... I know exactly what I am doing and vaguely understand what I am searching for and these same people once they finally catch up to my discovery tend to then discredit me and claim it for themselves or don't acknowledge that what they complained about from me was the very reason they had it.
But if you ever want to try and get that deeper understanding you can reach out I am happy to chat and I really enjoy getting to know individuals on a deep personal level and understanding what makes them them a lot of people get defensive or weird that you are prying or are just so shallow and closed off.
Oh, I so enjoyed listening to you. I’m an INFJ with ADHD and hoping to find a testing center where I can get an autism assessment.
I saw the similarities between INFJ and autism so I did a search and found you!!
I obviously never met you but connected with you to the point in which I felt I just got off the phone with an old friend.
Didn’t think there was anyone out there who felt like I did.
Thank you!!
I am an INFJ-A and currently seeking formal diagnoses for both ADHD an autism (no luck for years but I hope to finally make progress this year with the increased understanding of autism in AFAB people)--I never knew there was a correlation between people with autism and the INFJ type! I am lucky enough that my best friend is also an INFJ (and fellow ADHDer/possibly autistic), so we get along very well XD We understand each other's limits and struggles that don't need to be explained out loud.
It is indeed a lonely and frustrating existence at times, to be able to understand and accommodate others so well, yet not receive the same courtesy. But the few people I have in my life now truly understand me, and that helps me extrapolate that self-confidence out to other parts of my life.
The way you describe yourself and the Advocate is exactly how I live except for the detailed planning and that I don't qualify as an Autistic person by different tests I took - but I share some traits with Autistic people - I often don't understand jokes and often take people's words literally, plus I just am not normal enough to fit in! I really resonate with your account on viewing other people's interactions as convoluted, masked and not as who they are - and can't/won't do it. I am either an INFP or an INFJ but I resonate deeply with both types and with their cognitive functions even though opposing! When I was a child I was definitely very strong on extroverted Sensing, which indicates I might be something entirely different and that I have coped with life becoming very similar to INFJ:s and INFP:s. I love listening to people deeply and fully...and seeing, feeling and understanding them on extremely deep and full levels. And I have this desire to be seen, heard, felt and understood as deeply. I really enjoyed listening to your video and being so thoroughly mirrored.
I didn’t know making lists detailed in this way was an autistic thing. I definitely love doing it but I just do it mentally, I don’t really need to write it down. It’s funny other people do this too. I just thought I was super organised bc in my mind it helps to get everything done and avoid unnecessary stress down the line. I’ve not been diagnosed as autistic but most traits deeply resonate.
OMG that ocean metaphore hit so hard ... I completely relate to everything you said during the section about feeling like we cant open up to anybody and all the reasons why
Glad to find you. ❤ I recently was screened for Autism and likely to have it-just waiting for an assessment now. Was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago, so went through most of my life struggling to keep up. I am now 52. The way that I found this video was because I did a search to see if there was a possible correlation between Autism and the INFJ personality type. I’ve been binge watching Frank James (think that’s his last name), and think that he’s hilarious. Anyhow, thank you for sharing your thoughts and observations. I can relate on so many levels. I also feel like it’s very seldom that someone actually “sees” me while I am always holding that space for other people. It’s definitely a superpower. 😅 Loneliness had become so painful for me that I thought it was a foundational flaw. I’d practiced the self-care concept so religiously that when writing about my journey with coming to terms, I was awarded for best essay of the year during my first year of community college (which I didn’t start until I was 31 years old). Thank you again. It’s relieving to have thoughtful information available.
I never thought about the money thing- my dad became wealthy right before I moved out of the house, and I made it my subconscious goal to prove I could live without focusing on money. I worked with low income communities for years and it challenged (and continues to challenge) my immediate and extended family whom all work in highly profitable for-profit fields 😂 Glad to hear I’m not alone 😂😅
I've never felt Energy like yours, it feels so pure and I connect to it so incredibly deeply. This video truly makes me feel seen. I've always had a passion for understanding people and felt so much deeper and always felt so different to people. I never used to feel comfortable in my own skin but knowing my personality type and coming slowly to the realisation I'm likely autistic feels like the moment of finding that illusive last jigsaw piece after desperate searching. I'm starting to finally see the whole picture and it's so relieving, it makes so much sense.
Sorry for the waffle but I genuinely am grateful for you producing this video.❤️
Thank you for talking about BPD with care. As a person with BPD and autism, I acknowledge your efforts. There are not many people not even therapists who do not stigmatize the disorder or not spread misinformation.
We're literally the same. It's actually very frustrating for me to accept that i may be on the spectrum. I know its very trending to label yourself autistic or neurodivergent these days but as someone who has always been different and felt like I never belonged. So possibly being autistic is an uncomfortable thing to come to terms with.
I had never heard of INFJ before, but this fits me exactly. A lightning bolt moment. Thank you!
Can totally relate to the thorough checklists! I could never share my lists with others. I’m too embarrassed by the level of detail bordering on OCD or neuroticism. But I get the most sh*t done out of everyone around me.
this channel is literally the perfect way to scratch my highly specific itches and find other people who are also the exact same (when that is practically impossible in real life). as an autistic infj with a high iq i obviously felt really validated by this video, channel in general, and the other comments mirroring an experience that can be very isolating at times ^_^
This video hits so close to home. It's a comfort to know that someone sees the world in a similar way as myself. Thank you for making this, I truly appreciate it.
Energy sensing plus the pattern recognition, intuition.
INFJ here! = HSP and ASD? 😅
My gosh, you say the same things I experienced and say! 🤔🤷🏽♂️😅 you are definitely more eloquent and detailed than I am at this point. Love how complete your analysis is. Best ever. Thank you!
That is it on the pattern recognition. The intuition is the recognition of the patterns and therefore getting a sense of where someone or something is going.
It's crazy, I tested INFJ like 15 years ago but didn't discover the Autism/ADHD till last year and I can't tell you how much of this is spot on for me. It's uncanny. The amount of suffering that could be averted for people like us if therapists and psychiatrists were properly educated on neurodivergent folks is immense.
Omg, the thing about feedback and defensiveness vs invalid feedback resonates so greatly with me.
Thank you! I would love a part two! :)
I'm Au-DHD (Autism self diagnosed currently, debating whether or not to pursue formal diagnosis for various reasons but got diagnosed ADHD in 3rd grade) and because of this video I finally did a Myers Briggs test. I'd honestly had no interest in it before now because... I'm not sure how much 4 letters, or even the words associated with those letters, can tell you about a whole person (I do like personality tests, but I think some people take the Myers Briggs a bit TOO seriously and will base who they like just off of those letters)
But, this got me interested in getting my own data for this to see where I fall in regards to this statistic. My result was INTP.
Then I searched which Myers Briggs personalities were most common amongst Autistics and the first result said, "INTJ, INTP, ISTJ and INFJ are most likely to display Autistic behaviors." Of course, this was on a Quora thread, so who knows how reliable that is. More research to do.
Also, as with Zodiac signs and other things meant to define your personality, this is something I find that, while yes, there is quite a lot about my MBTI (and my Zodiac sign) that do resonate with who I am and how I understand myself and the world around me, I also don't fit 100% neatly into its little box. As a Libra I do value justice and balance and fairness, but I am not a social butterfly. As an INTP I am analytical and often in my head, but I'm not impractical (most of the time), I'm very good with details and I don't see my being non-conformist as a "weakness."
There's a lot that does fit, but there's a fair amount that doesn't because no two people are 100% the same and the way people regard these systems would create the assumption that if you fall mostly under this category, then you are exactly like everyone else that falls mostly under that category, which is very reductive.
So interesting. I’m an INFJ. I’m passionate about psychology, personality tests, etc.🧐
This is so accurate to my own experience. Thank you for this content.
This resonates with me sooo deeply. Thank you so much for these videos!
43:31 that Statement about Medical Pros can't be more accurate. This is why it's hard to find one who would really take the time to try to 'understand' and swim out there into the deep waters and resonate with you or possess the empathy to do so.
I'm thankful I found you because now I'm aware that I could be autistic after taking a test as well. Things I think about start to make more sense now.
- a female INFJ and HSP, has borderline indication of autism per the test