Same. But when he realized I was enjoying it, he stopped giving it to me. Said it was a spiritual decision.🙄 Called me a succubus!😱Yeah right! demons are spirits too, Bozo!!!
I am scared, You tell my Story, exactly....in the End i was close to end my Life....wow, i think lifetime isnt enough to heal from all the pervert Things that i have been thru.
@@Laeylasearchthelight I'm in the realm of love, affection, attention and sex starved but I will either get out of here at some point or I will die with the rest of the world, which ever comes first. I seem to be a magnet for narcissistic men and I am learning to set boundaries.
@@debbielove5993 i choosed to let go any Relationship, no more "we" bcs there never was a "we", still i feel haunted and i know this Road, it's my 2. Marriage and nothing went good or better. I just get started, i hope i'm going to walk this path and be strong. We are strong because we are still here, we try to understand, try to find Heal, try to avoid them and learn. Dont give up, dont feel bad....i hope we get the Chance to heal and discover real happiness and Love in ourselves....we all deserve better...let's start with ourselves!
U literally feel like an object, u feel used but u can't explain it to someone when u don't know what narcism is yet. I once looked at him when he was on top, it looked like he was torturing me and was enjoying it. Honestly I can't describe it but something about his eyes freaked me out.
Yeah like they Says its your fault your not helping me out here .. Won't seak professional help Even though you have shown them love understanding no judgement ..your very support Is twisted into an insult to them ..
I could write a book on my ex narc and our relationship. While we were dating we didn’t have sex because of religious beliefs. He sure acted like he could wait! We fooled around a lot. Then when we got married, sex was awful. No cuddling, no foreplay. He never looked into my eyes and kept his head averted as thought he was ashamed. He would take a shower immediately afterwards. This really insulted me. He didn’t care about my needs at all. I won’t go into the nitty gritty but I’m sure you can put the details together. Most of the time, I couldn’t tell if he had his happy ending. He was terrified of me getting pregnant despite the fact that I was on birth control. Then when I lost my job due downsizing, he withheld sex altogether. If I tried to initiate, he’d shrug me off. We were at a very romantic B&B for a wedding, and it was the perfect romantic setting. I tried to get him in the mood but nope. It hurt so much. Having one’s own husband reject you is incredibly hurtful, and it ruins your self-esteem. Our marriage ended 14 years ago and I haven’t dated since.
I feel you. Im a male and i took my ex on many romantic trips with no intimacy from her. The worst one was being in the bow of a cruise ship, looking at the stars.....alone. Thats when i said f this
He immediately stopped having any form of intimacy the second we signed a 1 yr lease on our apt decades ago. I couldn't figure it out. I felt worthless, ugly and uncared for and nothing I did ever caught his interest and I had to beg every time. Or he would convince me I was tired or whatever. He always made me think it was my fault. How I ever managed to have 3 children is an actual miracle. He act made me think I had fertility issues except that wasn't the case and it got worse every year. He wouldn't even sleep in the same room with me. Yet it was always for my betterment. Here I am now touch starved, love starved and lonely and filled with huge amount of trauma from him. Feeling like no one will ever love me with all of this trauma. He ruined absolutely everything and was pleased with himself. If I got in shape or did my hair or anything for me I was selfish or I was hurting him because of course I was only doing it so I could cheat on him or leave him.....not the case, but he didn't want me to have any self confidence.
Yep, nothing is enough. They need a bigger thrill. Intimacy is not enough for them. Intimacy is nothing for them...that's why they need toys and whips and ropes ...it's why they like doing it from the back
@@debbielove5993 I hope you can get out Debbie and find a real man and real love. What I am trying to understand is why I married a covert narcissist and why I have stayed with him. Why don't I value myself more. I am certainly not valued by him. The infrequent sex we do have is awful. Just want you to know that I feel your sadness too.
i felt that i was set up from the beginning. that how it unfolds was a script he had used over and over again and is probably still using somewhere in the world. the script is to find a woman and then humiliate and destroy and punish her in the way that will be the most painful to that particular woman. some deep instinct knew it was nothing to do with sex but control and punishment. i am convinced that he hated women and found a way to get them into relationships so that he could exact some kind of revenge story on them. I watched your video short on how male narcissists hate their mothers deep down and i totally think this was the case.i believe his father was a terrible bully but he blamed his mother for being weak and not defending him as a child.
I relate to none sexual cuddling especially that is pretty much non-existent. If my narc rubs my feet he acts as if I owe him something in return. Hugs are always on their terms, my narc will demand a hug and/or a kiss - often when I’m in the middle of doing chores or work. Also, narcs expect intimacy even if you just had an argument as if emotions are completely irrelevant. I haven’t experienced feelings of sexual rejection or disgust from my narc but this could be because I’m not sexually available anymore because of the trauma from hurts. He does perceive my rejection as offensive and will sulk/be mean rather than recognizing why I don’t feel like being intimate anymore (which is a result of his poor treatment). I’m not purposefully pushing him away, it just doesn’t feel genuine to have sex with someone who doesn’t care about me more than superficially.
😮I have stopped wanting sex with my husband not because I want to show him. It is because it stopped being meaningful right after getting married. He has all the excuses and he is an alcoholic so that doesn't help. It was starting to feel like he was wanting to hurt me physically. He bragged about how he and a friend would try to be so hard in sex that the other guy caused physical damage to the woman. I so want out
I've had these experiences with female....especially that 'intimacy after an argument' which makes no sense at all & the 'no affection' before or after sex. they have no empathy, everything is a power play or some kind of weird 'darkness' that I have no wish to be a part of
The best explanation u ever gave was - they will so affectionate tender well spoken and slick but we will feel pressurized to a suffocating extent. I wish I didn’t believe in spirituality and picked up on the bad vibes. I went with what they spoke
Actually my narc husband doesn't know how to kiss, he does it horribly and says sarcastic jokes on me when I'm (was years ago) trying to kiss him, which is quite upsetting. Lizard or snake style kiss is what he's only capable of
At the end of the relationship when you finally understand what happening, it will make you physically ill when they tough you in a sexual way My ex used to try to initiate sex immediately after a traumatic event had a miscarriage the moment i found out a loved one died from an overdose When my cat got run over Etc Etc Etc
Yep. My best friend passed away and all she did was pat me on the back. Then my cat of 18 years passed and i got another pat on the back as she walked into the other room. Disgusting
What kind of a person endures that ! A matured person who wants to know what is driving that sort of behavior. It is strange that we didn’t suspect them at all to be swindlers. I am a nice person by nature. So I couldn’t handle negativity so I gave a blind eye. Till it went to the extent I had to throw up
He had an "accident" knowing I wasn't protected. I asked him what happened, why wasn't he more careful? He said it was my fault!!!!🤯 Then let me pay for the emergency solution.😭
@@irenehamilton2981 in 40 years it never happened to me. It did blow my mind. Within a few months I realized nothing was right about him. But only understood he was a narc after he started to destroy my "friend" who became his secondary supply...all of a sudden I was able to see it from the outside and put my finger on it for the first time. She's now his flying monkey and just as bad as him. Tried helping her to no avail. I guess they are perfect for each other. I'm just happy I've learnt a lesson for life.
Back in the days when we still had sex... it was only on my wife's terms! She wanted it in the morning. Ok. I expected the next time, to be the way I like it, before bed. But, no! Morning, fine. Before bedtime, a no-no... I explained and explained: that I feel sleepy after sex. But no amount of convincing would change her mind... And I'm not only talking about the time for sex. Also, about other things, sex-related. And completely unrelated. She is so stubborn!
All of these things resonate with me. From the beginning of the 'love bond' even then he wasn't affectionate. I thought he was being respectful because I had never had a sexual experience. That wasn't it. After the wedding, he couldn't even do anything except leave bruises on me. It was 4 days after we married he actually did anything. No prep (you know what I mean) and I said it hurt.....his reply? It's supposed to hurt. My entire self worth as a woman was eradicated 3 weeks later when he had been not coming to bed. He said he was watching basketball highlight. I crept down to the bar doors and saw he was watching playboy channel and masturbating. Here I am, new bride who always made sure I looked pretty, smelled nice and waiting for him, STUNNED. I shook all over the rest of the night, I was destroyed. 3 months into the mess he said I never thought I'd marry someone who looked like you. I said what does that mean. He described what he thought his wife would look like. (I waited to have sex until I was married and he was solid wall. Times, many years later I stood by the bed Hysterically crying what did I do wrong? His back to me no responding. He cheated on me from the beginning. He had women all over town that he'd take out to eat with his ring on. In the meantime he was wanting to make plans to renew our vows at 25 years, while telling hi trash he was in the process of getting divorced.When he died almost 8 years ago he hadn't touched me in any way for 15 years. I didn't cheat he had me convinced I was hideous and refused to even walk with me in stores. I knew one thing foe certain, I was no one's type, not even my husbands. I slept with a little pillow in front of my face, in case he woke up in the night so he wouldn't have to see my face. It's been 23 years for me. I just still have to get past the fact I am no one's type.
Sooo, I was growing up in a home, in which at least one parent is a narcissist. And due to this narcissitic behaviour being normalized I ended up developing romantic feelings for a lot of egotistical and downright narcissistic women over and over again in my life. The first romantic relationship I was in was definitely with a narcissistic woman. In this "relationship" ocurred a lot of things, which leave me speechless to this day and from which I have learned are narcissistic reactions and behaviours. A lot of that was all in relation to intimacy, especially physically, for example: - When we kissed for a long time, she would ask "why did you kiss me for so long?" - After kissing her, she would sometimes wipe her mouth with the back of her hand - When we fooled around, we wouldn´t laugh/hug/kiss each other, like you do, when it´s all in good fun, but instead she would spit into my face - When we were getting intimate with each other, and I got aroused and into the mood, then she would make fun of me/devalue me/judge me or just simply leave me hanging - but when she was in the mood, it felt weird and kind of dangerous? as if my sense of danger was pinged in some way? Hard to explain, but she didn´t really want Kissing/foreplay/petting, didn´t tell me, what she needs! and it didn´t feel like, it was a precious moment for her, like it was for me! No reassurance at all! Instead it felt like, I was just one of many and I just happened to be there at that moment. That whole experience, which lasted only three months! has put me off so much in my pursuit of romantic relationships, that I became too scared to commit to any of my romantic feelings (additional other bad experience contributed to that as well). That was 10 years ago and I kinda gave up on this whole thing and haven´t been in relationship since then and didn´t bother trying since 5 years :(
Like You telling my Story i still feel the Guilt and Shame...it's so so bad, he really did everything. It's just a few Month i discovered "Narrcissim" and theres nothing i havent been through....😢
I got nothing whilst he cheated with others i was never important the rare times i got any affectionate was when he felt like it he only kissed me first 3 months in 5 years
All these months of questioning myself whether if I'm the problem or not. It got me trapped. Part of me feels sorry for her. Her childhood ain't her fault.
In my experience, he is good in performance I can say, he's good at it, he can kiss, hug, but afterwards, in the morning or other day, I will be punished, arriving drunk, insulted me, yell at me threatened to hurt me. These patterns repeat, that I learned not to have sev with him or even show any intimacy or to look good for him.
Yes no matter how much time and energy you put into how you look or into the sexual act itself, they will treat you like you did not please them whatsover. OR that they dont notice how beautiful or attractive you look at all. Its also completely one sided in my experience. They only care about there own sexual gratification and pleasure 😅not yours at all. They wont touch you or please you. You are there pleasing machine 😮 and thats it. You can just go without ever experiencing release, but as long as they get it 💯 thats all they care about.
Im so traumatized I sm sickened by the thought of sex. NOW, I cringe when I am touched. I only have vague memories of enjoying sex...i csnt imagine it ever happening again.
At night during the devaluation period he started turning his face away from me and I had to "beg" for kisses by craning over... it felt horrible. He told me I'm too "pushy" with sex because we hadn't seen each other in months and I wanted it once a night. A few nights he slept on the couch and kicked at me to get away half drunk asleep. Luckily I wasn't with that toxic energy for long. It was so confusing because in the beginning we'd kiss for long periods of time, very romantically...
Yup, and when you say, “ Nooo I don’t feel comfortable to do that, I feel God doesn’t accept that” Then I’m Ignored for 2 days…. I didn’t give him the supply he wanted… I will be rejected and ignored for 2 days Punishment
there was plenty of kissing when he wanted to chase me at the start it is the love bomb stage and then after nothing no cuddle and not kissing and no foreplay either - just their own feelings all the time nothing for me.
My god how come im just learning this now, this would of changed my life in idk but at least i wouldn't have been used up n me n my kid is hurt , my kid is really hurt , narcs don't care about anyone
I had to learn a 43 years old narc how to kiss with passion and lust! Now I know why! They all are like this, incapable of true love and passion. They only can imitade that.
After done, to wipe you with tissues and then say you must mention in your ladies circle that I do this for you. And see what they say. Because all my exes have said that their ex partners would neither bother to dress them or clean them. Did you understand what his intention was? Why the heck would I discuss my bedroom with other ladies
Exactly true ,i have been experienced all this,and now my narcissist husband is going to his female workers for sex and texting them to arrange where should they meet and he is paying them separetly ,buying gifts for them,and now its unbelievable infront of my daughters he said your mom wants sex from me and she will never get now you all leave me or you all die ,its my mistake i married her an so on .... ...
My narc has never forced me I am always satisfied with him And he always waits for me to be satisfied But He can withhold for months That I have to beg for it I enjoy sex with him That's why I always want more But he starves me all the time 😢
Same. Check his Google search history… and you will see why/how he is “withholding” for so long. It will crush you, however… hopefully set you free, though.
My ex husband is gay. I thought it was me. We divorced 2001, a few weeks after my daughter was born. When I asked him what I could do to excite him he told me to my face *don't waste your time*
I wonder, sometimes, about my wife... Is she straight, or is she lesbian? Perhaps... bisexual? She is clearly bored with me. And all the time, on the phone with a female friend of hers... Not only on the phone: she spends more time with that friend than with me. Since she met that girl, our sex life stopped altogether. Now, she doesn't allow me to touch her... even me touching my wife's hand is met with this strange gaze, it's like: "What are you doing!?" Her friend has a short haircut and wears trousers... I know, this doesn't mean anything. But she also opens doors for my wife! When I look at them together, I see clear courtship. That girl opens the car door for my wife, closes it behind her, and only then gets in the car herself, behind the wheel... I know this is a girl, I can see her tiny breasts... but she behaves like my wife's boyfriend! If this is how they are acting in public, on the street, I wonder what they must be doing behind closed doors... At least we have kids together... There was sex in the beginning, before we got married. To trap me. And now, after catching a husband, she can spend all her time with her girlfriend.
Your ex sounds like someone I used to know: married but was the most insatiably homosexual man I ever met, who I would swear would do anything, anywhere with any guy (and did).
The hurt energy is so pent up in me I am not able to let it go. I need to find someone who is stupid and wants others to be good to them and hurt them real bad to release it
![[TH] VCT Pacific Stage 2 - Playoffs Day 2 // PRX vs GEN | DRX vs TLN](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/gmrSk-_ahlA/mqdefault.jpg)
Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
No kiss, no cuddle, no hugs….absolutely 100%
The narcissist told me, kissing is not important. Well, for me, it's in the kiss
That’s where it is
Nobody wants to kiss that nasty thing
Omg.. yes accurate
Sometimes it felt like my ex enjoyed it more when he knew I didn’t want it
Same. But when he realized I was enjoying it, he stopped giving it to me. Said it was a spiritual decision.🙄 Called me a succubus!😱Yeah right! demons are spirits too, Bozo!!!
They always want the opposite of what the target wants
Exactly! Just like wanting to do things that inflict pain during sex .
💯
Oh my gosh wow . Yes . True what the hell. I was ripped through & he told me I wasn't aroused.. you think? Told me he doesn't need to kiss me
"When they kiss you, you feel like a demonic entity has entered your body"...
I think there is more truth to that than just mere creative word choice.
I am scared, You tell my Story, exactly....in the End i was close to end my Life....wow, i think lifetime isnt enough to heal from all the pervert Things that i have been thru.
@@Laeylasearchthelight
I know exactly what you are talking about. You will be ok though.
@@debbielove5993 thank You....i hope You are fine too...♥️
@@Laeylasearchthelight
I'm in the realm of love, affection, attention and sex starved but I will either get out of here at some point or I will die with the rest of the world, which ever comes first. I seem to be a magnet for narcissistic men and I am learning to set boundaries.
@@debbielove5993 i choosed to let go any Relationship, no more "we" bcs there never was a "we", still i feel haunted and i know this Road, it's my 2. Marriage and nothing went good or better.
I just get started, i hope i'm going to walk this path and be strong. We are strong because we are still here, we try to understand, try to find Heal, try to avoid them and learn. Dont give up, dont feel bad....i hope we get the Chance to heal and discover real happiness and Love in ourselves....we all deserve better...let's start with ourselves!
This is the truth. It’s about them and their control.
And shaming is about control.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer : it’s up to an individual to allow themselves to be shamed or to share their intimate life with people who does not reciprocate
U literally feel like an object, u feel used but u can't explain it to someone when u don't know what narcism is yet. I once looked at him when he was on top, it looked like he was torturing me and was enjoying it. Honestly I can't describe it but something about his eyes freaked me out.
My god her eyes told me to run but she got pregnant n 16 yrs later I'm free but my kid is so hurt from her leaving
@@AnglephileSwedenGerman that is so heartless, they truly are evil
You feel the most loneliest during this time. 😢
Avoiding kiss is true
You forgot one. The cheating husband who gets ED in middle or old age and refuses to get treatment. His wife is abandoned sexually.
Yes. They use their impotence to avoid it.
😢
@@tranquility9325 Or blame you for it.
Yeah like they
Says its your fault your not helping me out here ..
Won't seak professional help
Even though you have shown them love understanding no judgement ..your very support
Is twisted into an insult to them ..
So robotic....seems like a business transaction...
Sadly most of them steal who you could've become had u not endured abuse
I could write a book on my ex narc and our relationship. While we were dating we didn’t have sex because of religious beliefs. He sure acted like he could wait! We fooled around a lot. Then when we got married, sex was awful. No cuddling, no foreplay. He never looked into my eyes and kept his head averted as thought he was ashamed. He would take a shower immediately afterwards. This really insulted me. He didn’t care about my needs at all. I won’t go into the nitty gritty but I’m sure you can put the details together. Most of the time, I couldn’t tell if he had his happy ending. He was terrified of me getting pregnant despite the fact that I was on birth control. Then when I lost my job due downsizing, he withheld sex altogether. If I tried to initiate, he’d shrug me off. We were at a very romantic B&B for a wedding, and it was the perfect romantic setting. I tried to get him in the mood but nope. It hurt so much. Having one’s own husband reject you is incredibly hurtful, and it ruins your self-esteem. Our marriage ended 14 years ago and I haven’t dated since.
He stole who you could've been
Oh my God! The "taking shower straight away"! I felt like a filth needed to be washed off 😥 it really was painful to the core...
No He wasn"t afraid You'd Get Pregnant...it's Just Another Excuse To Not Be intimate. My Husband used This Often Even Know l Was on Contraceptives.
All of them.
I feel you. Im a male and i took my ex on many romantic trips with no intimacy from her. The worst one was being in the bow of a cruise ship, looking at the stars.....alone. Thats when i said f this
My ex is really gay, but would never admit it. 😅
Many of them are bisexual. They feel entitled to have whomever they want
He immediately stopped having any form of intimacy the second we signed a 1 yr lease on our apt decades ago. I couldn't figure it out. I felt worthless, ugly and uncared for and nothing I did ever caught his interest and I had to beg every time. Or he would convince me I was tired or whatever. He always made me think it was my fault. How I ever managed to have 3 children is an actual miracle. He act made me think I had fertility issues except that wasn't the case and it got worse every year. He wouldn't even sleep in the same room with me. Yet it was always for my betterment. Here I am now touch starved, love starved and lonely and filled with huge amount of trauma from him. Feeling like no one will ever love me with all of this trauma. He ruined absolutely everything and was pleased with himself. If I got in shape or did my hair or anything for me I was selfish or I was hurting him because of course I was only doing it so I could cheat on him or leave him.....not the case, but he didn't want me to have any self confidence.
Omg same. Once she moved in the intimacy stopped completely. I felt so ashamed and awful. I regretfully went to another woman.
Glad you got away from the sick freak
My husband used to demand kinky stuff which I refused to do. He made me feel worthless
I refused to do it too... glad you held your ground and stood firm on your boundaries.
Yep, nothing is enough. They need a bigger thrill. Intimacy is not enough for them. Intimacy is nothing for them...that's why they need toys and whips and ropes ...it's why they like doing it from the back
I have endured both types of narcissistic sex, the kind you are talking about and the no sex type that my current husband is putting me through.
@@debbielove5993 I hope you can get out Debbie and find a real man and real love. What I am trying to understand is why I married a covert narcissist and why I have stayed with him. Why don't I value myself more. I am certainly not valued by him. The infrequent sex we do have is awful. Just want you to know that I feel your sadness too.
Yes!! USED and ABUSED 😞
Yep!!! All true, and happened to me!!! Worst I've ever been treated!!
i felt that i was set up from the beginning. that how it unfolds was a script he had used over and over again and is probably still using somewhere in the world. the script is to find a woman and then humiliate and destroy and punish her in the way that will be the most painful to that particular woman.
some deep instinct knew it was nothing to do with sex but control and punishment.
i am convinced that he hated women and found a way to get them into relationships so that he could exact some kind of revenge story on them. I watched your video short on how male narcissists hate their mothers deep down and i totally think this was the case.i believe his father was a terrible bully but he blamed his mother for being weak and not defending him as a child.
Definitely true about their mothers...3 out of 3 of my narc exes were complaining about their mothers one way or another
Yes Danish they sure do hate kissing. Its like yours in a relationship with a 15 yr old boy whos still afraid of kissing
I relate to none sexual cuddling especially that is pretty much non-existent. If my narc rubs my feet he acts as if I owe him something in return.
Hugs are always on their terms, my narc will demand a hug and/or a kiss - often when I’m in the middle of doing chores or work.
Also, narcs expect intimacy even if you just had an argument as if emotions are completely irrelevant.
I haven’t experienced feelings of sexual rejection or disgust from my narc but this could be because I’m not sexually available anymore because of the trauma from hurts. He does perceive my rejection as offensive and will sulk/be mean rather than recognizing why I don’t feel like being intimate anymore (which is a result of his poor treatment). I’m not purposefully pushing him away, it just doesn’t feel genuine to have sex with someone who doesn’t care about me more than superficially.
@@k.s783 purposely push away. You aren't saving nor restoring the narc. U R respecting yourself. Good 4U. Whatever works.
😮I have stopped wanting sex with my husband not because I want to show him. It is because it stopped being meaningful right after getting married. He has all the excuses and he is an alcoholic so that doesn't help. It was starting to feel like he was wanting to hurt me physically. He bragged about how he and a friend would try to be so hard in sex that the other guy caused physical damage to the woman. I so want out
I've had these experiences with female....especially that 'intimacy after an argument' which makes no sense at all & the 'no affection' before or after sex. they have no empathy, everything is a power play or some kind of weird 'darkness' that I have no wish to be a part of
The best explanation u ever gave was - they will so affectionate tender well spoken and slick but we will feel pressurized to a suffocating extent. I wish I didn’t believe in spirituality and picked up on the bad vibes. I went with what they spoke
So true I'm so embarrassed I fell for her for so long, basically a lifetime
Actually my narc husband doesn't know how to kiss, he does it horribly and says sarcastic jokes on me when I'm (was years ago) trying to kiss him, which is quite upsetting. Lizard or snake style kiss is what he's only capable of
Eww-that was my husband-his idea of kissing was sticking his tongue down my throat to make me choke-it was sickening
You are still with this guy? If so, YUCK and why?
this is real stuff right here.
#3 mainly. Definitely transactional...no feeling involved, particularly afterwards
At the end of the relationship when you finally understand what happening, it will make you physically ill when they tough you in a sexual way
My ex used to try to initiate sex immediately after a traumatic event
had a miscarriage
the moment i found out a loved one died from an overdose
When my cat got run over
Etc
Etc
Etc
Yep. My best friend passed away and all she did was pat me on the back. Then my cat of 18 years passed and i got another pat on the back as she walked into the other room. Disgusting
My narc husband told me that life is not between two legs when he sensed I was disappointed with our marital life
😂
They use that as a means to control others. They don't enjoy the connecting.
Or randomly bring up physical things about their ex they hate, that you might have also.
Danish u r fantastic. Every video resonates with me .Living with a narcissistic husband since 40 yrs.No choice
Great truthful video had to watch corn everytime we had relations only twice a month.💯💯💥
Thank you for this video
What kind of a person endures that ! A matured person who wants to know what is driving that sort of behavior. It is strange that we didn’t suspect them at all to be swindlers. I am a nice person by nature. So I couldn’t handle negativity so I gave a blind eye. Till it went to the extent I had to throw up
You had some interesting points.
He had an "accident" knowing I wasn't protected. I asked him what happened, why wasn't he more careful? He said it was my fault!!!!🤯 Then let me pay for the emergency solution.😭
Wtf that's not right
@@irenehamilton2981 in 40 years it never happened to me. It did blow my mind. Within a few months I realized nothing was right about him. But only understood he was a narc after he started to destroy my "friend" who became his secondary supply...all of a sudden I was able to see it from the outside and put my finger on it for the first time. She's now his flying monkey and just as bad as him. Tried helping her to no avail. I guess they are perfect for each other. I'm just happy I've learnt a lesson for life.
Why did you sleep with a d...head.
Back in the days when we still had sex... it was only on my wife's terms!
She wanted it in the morning. Ok.
I expected the next time, to be the way I like it, before bed. But, no!
Morning, fine. Before bedtime, a no-no...
I explained and explained: that I feel sleepy after sex. But no amount of convincing would change her mind...
And I'm not only talking about the time for sex.
Also, about other things, sex-related.
And completely unrelated.
She is so stubborn!
All of these things resonate with me. From the beginning of the 'love bond' even then he wasn't affectionate. I thought he was being respectful because I had never had a sexual experience. That wasn't it. After the wedding, he couldn't even do anything except leave bruises on me. It was 4 days after we married he actually did anything. No prep (you know what I mean) and I said it hurt.....his reply? It's supposed to hurt. My entire self worth as a woman was eradicated 3 weeks later when he had been not coming to bed. He said he was watching basketball highlight. I crept down to the bar doors and saw he was watching playboy channel and masturbating. Here I am, new bride who always made sure I looked pretty, smelled nice and waiting for him, STUNNED. I shook all over the rest of the night, I was destroyed. 3 months into the mess he said I never thought I'd marry someone who looked like you. I said what does that mean. He described what he thought his wife would look like. (I waited to have sex until I was married and he was solid wall. Times, many years later I stood by the bed Hysterically crying what did I do wrong? His back to me no responding. He cheated on me from the beginning. He had women all over town that he'd take out to eat with his ring on. In the meantime he was wanting to make plans to renew our vows at 25 years, while telling hi trash he was in the process of getting divorced.When he died almost 8 years ago he hadn't touched me in any way for 15 years. I didn't cheat he had me convinced I was hideous and refused to even walk with me in stores. I knew one thing foe certain, I was no one's type, not even my husbands. I slept with a little pillow in front of my face, in case he woke up in the night so he wouldn't have to see my face. It's been 23 years for me. I just still have to get past the fact I am no one's type.
Sending love and light and blessings....from India. You are precious
@@poushalimaitra6323 Thank you!
Sooo, I was growing up in a home, in which at least one parent is a narcissist.
And due to this narcissitic behaviour being normalized I ended up developing romantic feelings for a lot of egotistical and downright narcissistic women over and over again in my life.
The first romantic relationship I was in was definitely with a narcissistic woman.
In this "relationship" ocurred a lot of things, which leave me speechless to this day and from which I have learned are narcissistic reactions and behaviours. A lot of that was all in relation to intimacy, especially physically, for example:
- When we kissed for a long time, she would ask "why did you kiss me for so long?"
- After kissing her, she would sometimes wipe her mouth with the back of her hand
- When we fooled around, we wouldn´t laugh/hug/kiss each other, like you do, when it´s all in good fun, but instead she would spit into my face
- When we were getting intimate with each other, and I got aroused and into the mood, then she would make fun of me/devalue me/judge me or just simply leave me hanging
- but when she was in the mood, it felt weird and kind of dangerous? as if my sense of danger was pinged in some way? Hard to explain, but she didn´t really want Kissing/foreplay/petting, didn´t tell me, what she needs! and it didn´t feel like, it was a precious moment for her, like it was for me! No reassurance at all! Instead it felt like, I was just one of many and I just happened to be there at that moment.
That whole experience, which lasted only three months! has put me off so much in my pursuit of romantic relationships, that I became too scared to commit to any of my romantic feelings (additional other bad experience contributed to that as well).
That was 10 years ago and I kinda gave up on this whole thing and haven´t been in relationship since then and didn´t bother trying since 5 years :(
Like You telling my Story i still feel the Guilt and Shame...it's so so bad, he really did everything. It's just a few Month i discovered "Narrcissim" and theres nothing i havent been through....😢
Mmm... Covert narcs don't do many of these things. But they find ways for you to be the "bad one".
The covert narc did exactly what he explained
I got nothing whilst he cheated with others i was never important the rare times i got any affectionate was when he felt like it he only kissed me first 3 months in 5 years
They make me feel ashamed as a woman. That is what narc men do to me. It is not me that is shameful, it is them who make me feel this way.
Its a waste of time😂
I didn’t believe in divorce. I stayed with an abusive husband 20 years-even though he NEVER consummated the marriage.
All of it resonated.
All these months of questioning myself whether if I'm the problem or not. It got me trapped. Part of me feels sorry for her. Her childhood ain't her fault.
Yes very true in everyway..😢
In my experience, he is good in performance I can say, he's good at it, he can kiss, hug, but afterwards, in the morning or other day, I will be punished, arriving drunk, insulted me, yell at me threatened to hurt me. These patterns repeat, that I learned not to have sev with him or even show any intimacy or to look good for him.
Waw so correct how u know all this without being a female who experience all this practically marvelous knowledge u have I must say❤
Yes no matter how much time and energy you put into how you look or into the sexual act itself, they will treat you like you did not please them whatsover. OR that they dont notice how beautiful or attractive you look at all. Its also completely one sided in my experience. They only care about there own sexual gratification and pleasure 😅not yours at all. They wont touch you or please you. You are there pleasing machine 😮 and thats it. You can just go without ever experiencing release, but as long as they get it 💯 thats all they care about.
Exactly same thing my wife used to do before 1 year with me and gradually she even doesn't allow me to touch her body till now 😢😢
He told me i wasn't what he was looking for. He said he wasn't attracted to me. All i can say is thank you Jesus.😊
Wow! I’m so sorry but glad you’re looking at it that way. Same thing no happened to me. Same exact words! I was told I was over weight at 148 pounds.
Thanks
Im so traumatized I sm sickened by the thought of sex. NOW, I cringe when I am touched. I only have vague memories of enjoying sex...i csnt imagine it ever happening again.
My 🤡 ex found out that I won’t beg anybody for anything.
Wow…that 1st kiss explanation.
All 7! And the Ed too! Cheating? You bet!
My ex hated French kissing and was only good at kissing sometimes⚠️
Frankly I hated it too. He’d almost choke me
My narc said I am a powerful woman who overcomes all humiliation. I was just curious as to what would posses people to behave the way they do.
Wow .. accurate
I'm living in London, are there any groups out there who are victims of narcissist abuse? I am a long term victim.
At night during the devaluation period he started turning his face away from me and I had to "beg" for kisses by craning over... it felt horrible. He told me I'm too "pushy" with sex because we hadn't seen each other in months and I wanted it once a night. A few nights he slept on the couch and kicked at me to get away half drunk asleep. Luckily I wasn't with that toxic energy for long. It was so confusing because in the beginning we'd kiss for long periods of time, very romantically...
Yup, and when you say, “ Nooo I don’t feel comfortable to do that, I feel God doesn’t accept that”
Then I’m Ignored for 2 days….
I didn’t give him the supply he wanted… I will be rejected and ignored for 2 days Punishment
there was plenty of kissing when he wanted to chase me at the start it is the love bomb stage and then after nothing no cuddle and not kissing and no foreplay either - just their own feelings all the time nothing for me.
They are demons...
Truth no kisses etc
My x said he didn’t want sex when it was there all the time…so that was the end of my sex life…not his however..he constantly chased forbidden sex..
My god how come im just learning this now, this would of changed my life in idk but at least i wouldn't have been used up n me n my kid is hurt , my kid is really hurt , narcs don't care about anyone
Sorry yall. I can't let go. It's the end. Fuck it right? I'm probably just as fucked up.
Hi
I had to learn a 43 years old narc how to kiss with passion and lust! Now I know why! They all are like this, incapable of true love and passion. They only can imitade that.
After done, to wipe you with tissues and then say you must mention in your ladies circle that I do this for you. And see what they say. Because all my exes have said that their ex partners would neither bother to dress them or clean them. Did you understand what his intention was? Why the heck would I discuss my bedroom with other ladies
All thruth Danish
But my narscistic person who was sexually very active and his weapon is kiss,hug all stuff infact I felt he lives for it only 😮
I am becoming more like the n. I like it.
I used to cry after having sex with my husband..😢
Many many Times it happen to me, i try to find out back in the Days why i feel so sad and truly empty on the inside after having Sex with him...
💯💯💣 narc use to get up fast and get dressed after relations. Like he was a fire. Or seem to say I'll leave money on the table.....one time he did.
I don't mind being a robot. I am familiar with it.
Please guide me how to become Narcissistic abusive recovery Professional in India
I do not know if that’s available culturally, however, I also do not know where this gentleman is located 🤔🤷♀️
@@maxineadderley5378 he is from India
3
Ye video Hindi me bnaye please😊😊
Exactly true ,i have been experienced all this,and now my narcissist husband is going to his female workers for sex and texting them to arrange where should they meet and he is paying them separetly ,buying gifts for them,and now its unbelievable infront of my daughters he said your mom wants sex from me and she will never get now you all leave me or you all die ,its my mistake i married her an so on ....
...
What a sick man
My narc has never forced me
I am always satisfied with him
And he always waits for me to be satisfied
But
He can withhold for months
That I have to beg for it
I enjoy sex with him
That's why I always want more
But he starves me all the time 😢
Same. Check his Google search history… and you will see why/how he is “withholding” for so long. It will crush you, however… hopefully set you free, though.
Why would you be okay with this? What a sub par unsatisfying fake supressive life!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👍👍
My ex husband is gay. I thought it was me. We divorced 2001, a few weeks after my daughter was born.
When I asked him what I could do to excite him he told me to my face *don't waste your time*
I wonder, sometimes, about my wife...
Is she straight, or is she lesbian? Perhaps... bisexual?
She is clearly bored with me. And all the time, on the phone with a female friend of hers...
Not only on the phone: she spends more time with that friend than with me.
Since she met that girl, our sex life stopped altogether. Now, she doesn't allow me to touch her... even me touching my wife's hand is met with this strange gaze, it's like: "What are you doing!?"
Her friend has a short haircut and wears trousers... I know, this doesn't mean anything.
But she also opens doors for my wife!
When I look at them together, I see clear courtship.
That girl opens the car door for my wife, closes it behind her, and only then gets in the car herself, behind the wheel...
I know this is a girl, I can see her tiny breasts... but she behaves like my wife's boyfriend! If this is how they are acting in public, on the street, I wonder what they must be doing behind closed doors...
At least we have kids together... There was sex in the beginning, before we got married. To trap me. And now, after catching a husband, she can spend all her time with her girlfriend.
Your ex sounds like someone I used to know: married but was the most insatiably homosexual man I ever met, who I would swear would do anything, anywhere with any guy (and did).
My narcissist wife abandoned me sex in late 50. ....
its a waste of time
The hurt energy is so pent up in me I am not able to let it go. I need to find someone who is stupid and wants others to be good to them and hurt them real bad to release it
@aparna1170
Prayers for your recovery.
That makes you no better than the narc who hurt you!!!
@@MHiL7 how to let the pent up energy go then