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checking it out right now...we're both separated, but I dated around he hasn't...been together 2 months (exclusive, but no labels)...not sure if he's emotionally unavailable, or we just need to continue to go slow....good news is he doesn't have any signs except the separation timeline
I just went through this and it was very painful. The guy and his ex dated 5 years and she broke up with him because she was depressed but really I think it was bc they were long distant. I met him when they’d been broken up for 10 months and he hadn’t dated, so I thought it was safe. He was closed off but over time opened up to me. I was extremely patient, didn’t pressure, had fun, etc. Our connection was wonderful, but he broke it off with me abruptly and was very emotional. Out of the blue and he cried (said it was his career, he had feelings for me but wasn’t “sure”) but I know it was his ex. I felt it. This was after 6 months. He wasn’t over her. He said it wasn’t a clean break in that their break up didn’t have a reason behind it. I’d caution anyone to date a guy that hasn’t been broke up for at least a year. He will want to play the field again and isn’t healed yet. He will use and discard you.
Currently living this dream. Knew him before he met his ex. He was like a part of my family. I got him a job at my work last year when he moved back to town. They broke up towards the end of last year. My marriage has also broken up at the same time but that's been dead for years. We started seeing each other, then after a couple of amazing months, he said he was having a bit of a mental health issue (BPD?) and needed space. She was the space! I was left high and dry and surprisingly pregnant, and alone. I had a miscarriage shortly afterwards which has left me in my own pit of despair and he's nowhere to be seen. All I got was a huge rant via whatsapp, apparently this is somehow all my fault for not giving him space, and now I have to see him at work most nights whilst he ignores me. He hasn't even asked me how I am doing. And like a moron, I'd forgive him in a NY minute and take him back. His Ex/GF whatever is also a sociopath. She did this to him once before, isolated him from his friends, family, job until he was completely reliant on her. Convinced him we were all a threat but cant tell him why. He cant see that she isn't helping him, she's the threat. So I wait..... its been 2 months now, and I'm distracting myself by trying to become a better me. But its so hard. I'm angry at him for his lack of honesty, for cheating, for his treatment of me, for running away from the mess he made and for not taking responsibility. But then there's that love thing.... and although I'm doing the whole no contact thing, I miss him so much. I'm keeping the faith that what broke them up in the first place hasnt been resolved, and frankly wont be (I know what caused it as we discussed it at length, being friends!) and that our 7 year friendship will beckon to him at the other end and bring him back. Everything else can be sorted from there.
This one's spot on. My recent ex who was clearly rebounding first told me his last relationship was "this year' when we met end of last year. Turns out it ended as a little as a month before we met. When I first asked him about that breakup he also brushed it aside and said he was "fine with it". Fast forward to 8 months later and he has realised (after mentioning her non-stop) that he's not over her and while he doesn't think he wants to be with her again, he's realised I'm not the one he's in love with. We travelled, we made plans .. all gone. I helped him deal with his breakup .. and ended up heartbroken.
Ohh Naveen! I'm sorry to hear that. But for least, you were brave enough to face it. I hope everything is well for you. Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for watching and for your comment!
Yes! Would love to hear any advice about what to say to a vanisher when he returns out of the blue. Like, you've been dating for a few weeks, he used to text you every day, promised all these fun future dates, then POOF - ghost! But a few weeks later, he texts you like nothing changed. How do we navigate that? Should we even bother responding? Thanks. :)
Alexandria Baisden I actually have had a couple guys be honest with me after that has happened. They said they were on a break with the gf when we were talking. I tell them thanks for being honest, but lose my number. I'm not ok with being second best. I just walk away 🙂
Yeh I like Diana's thoughts Alexandria. Men often do this when they're getting the 'benefits' of a relationship from you then jump ship because they feel like they can get them elsewhere in a woman they have stronger feelings for. As Diana mentioned, it's often a previous girlfriend. His lack of consistency and emotional momentum exposes his true feelings, unfortunately. Perhaps, if a lot of time has passed, you could catch up with him again (in person) then call him on his actions. See his response. If he's apologetic and explanative, maybe there's wiggle room, but I really think you have to be thinking 'once bitten, twice shy' in any situation like this.
Wow, thanks so much for the responses guys! This makes me feel so much better about forgetting all about him. I'm not cool with being second best either, and I have a lot of peace about moving on. There's someone way better in the future. Thanks, guys! :)
My own personal experience of being the rebound was when I noticed that he was always trashing his ex.......you know, like constantly putting her down, telling me she was no good and how all his friends had warned him about her and he should have listened to his friends and how he is so much better off without her......BIG RED FLAG LADIES! Even if a man his trashing his ex, it means that she is still on his mind and if she is still on his mind then that means he is not over her yet. In fact I got the feeling that he was trying to convince himself that he didn't love her any more......and not being successful about it. The final straw for me was when he started telling me about her favourite sex positions..........I was gone! Let someone else listen to it.
@@Markrosenfeld @Lorraine Correct!! When a man put his ex down and talk negatieve about her, that's a big red flag. When your 're done with someone and really in love with another you don't feel the need to do this. However some women and men see this as a sign that he is really into the New lover. In their mind bashing an ex means they' re much better than the ex. Untill the same happen to them. Don't let them fool you!! Run!! A man who bashes his ex is a No go for me, cuz that shows me you don't take responsebillity for your part of the failing relationship.
Oh God fav. Sex positions wow! This guy is crazy. I just had when he told me that he dumped her because she was unattractive and ugly and he couldn't deal with it anymore and he told me that he is very attractive to me and never felt like this before. Then in a month, he pushes me away, without a reason. I feel bad for her and for me. 😭
I was the rebound before. Omg it sucked!! Defintly crushes the ego knowing the guy you liked was just using you to help distract his mind from the girl that he really actually wants. Knowing while he's with you, he's thinking about her instead. Dude left his gf and then leads me on and after 6 months of flirting and fooling around he randomly tells me how he didn't want to date me anymore and that he wasn't attracted to me and felt that way for a while.. like wtf did you still continue to play with my feelings and waste my time then??.. he dropped me and crawled back to his ex and never talked to me again. He said he was done with her, and told me we had a chance to changing his mind and wanting her again and becomes disgusted with me. I guess the more time he spent with me, the more he realized he missed her 💔 it sucked. But I got over it. Just not a pleasant memory.
Same. He.would never cut his ex no matter how much it bothered me, fought tooth and nail to stay in contact with her but when he broke up with me he cut me off completely. I'm hurt but it is a learning experience. Never will I let a man have me confused in a love triangle ever again
@@Nicolefairy95 omg I'm sorry girl! What an a**hole!! I was never about being anyone's spare tire. I wish guys were more honest from the start instead of wasting our time and getting us to like them to not lead it anywhere after that. And it was all good for me bc after he got back with his ex they dated for another 3 months until she cheated on him with his best friend lls. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right.. but I look at it as his karma bc looking back (my guy) was an ungrateful, cocky, arrogant, hypocritical, a**hole!! He did me a favor bc we had nothing in common, and we couldn't communicate. He never wanted to listen to me.. I was just in denial of who he was and living on cloud 9 until I had no choice but to see his true colors the end. I was just lonely, and desperate. Ahhhh memory lane lol
That's cuz some guys want what they can't have. It's the thrill of the chase. If you're with him and by his side he'll think of the girl or his ex that he can't be with.
I started talking to a guy 3 months after his ex dumped him. I asked him many times in the beginning if he was really over her and he promised he was. Then after a few months with me he realized he was not over her, and his feelings for me did not feel the same, he got kind of "depressed" and one day he just told me about this, like after 1 month after he realized he was not over her. And then just out of the blue he dumped me... He's my first love and I'm so hurt...we had already plans to move together and travel this winter... And now I know that even though he was with me I wasn't good enough, it was just her her and her all the time... I know they will never be together again, cause his ex really doesn't want him back... It feels like our time together didn't mean anything to him.
I'm so sorry for you. That's the worst anyone can do. I'm scared of this too... I hope you're okay now. Don't feel like you weren't good enough for him, it's just that he wasn't good enough for you :)
If the break-up is less than one year ago, run for your life, because, when his heart heals, he will not be so eager to get back into another committed relationship so soon. He will be ready to play the field again. He realizes that he is breaking your heart, but that won't stop him from dropping you. If he has a conscience, he may feel guilty for using and discarding you; but that won't stop him either. To ease his own conscience, he may buy you an expensive gift, ask you to "just be friends," or even ask you to forgive him; and you will because you love him. Sisters, don't let this happen to you. If you want to help him, be his friend, i.e., refer him to a reputable therapist who specializes in this sort of thing; and run like hell in the other direction. Take this from an old pro. I've been there and it's no fun, only heart break; and it sucks big time!!!
So sorry you are going through this, that's the worst feeling!. But know that you are good enough, in fact, you're beyond good enough! Now is important to get support for yourself to become stronger and heal. Like so many of us, you're taking away a valuable lesson about male behavior and it's important to not allow this to make you bitter as you move forward in letting go of him, and you will no longer fall into these man traps. In fact, you'll be more attractive, especially to the right guy because you will not give over your heart so easily- you'll know over a long period of time that he really is all in with you But now instead, take care of yourself and do healthy good that will make you feel better about you and the good things you are. Then give your life to things that will have a better return and joy. Heal and let your light shine! Wishing you all the best in your healing and life, love, and much happiness!
Y'ALL, listen to this man. I didn't, and the guy I was seeing called me by his ex's name during intimacy......twice. He's also done a number of the things Mark mentions here, and even went so far as to tell me to not dye my hair a certain color because I would "look too much like her." If it smells fishy, you're probably already in the ocean and need a life raft. This video is your life raft. GTFO.
Omg so it does happen?! I'm sorry you went through that. My ex started dating someone immediately after we broke up. Apparently she looks like me because I had people asking me if it was me in a pic he posted on a story. Super weird...
Thanks for the advice ☺️ Same thing happened to me. He dumped me 🤣 and I might be pregnant from him. I really hope not :(. If I am I'll take the baby with me and not tell him :-/
Mark Rosenfeld My bf or casual date ? Been separated for 3 years he started dating or going out with me after that!! I was with someone 22 years split And start dating after 4 months of the brake up The father of my kids had a girlfriend ( that is the reason we split he move on look so miserable) Meet this guys who is amazing in all the aspects, a gentleman and a amazing sex machine ( I can't complain about it) I been following your advices And at the beginning we decided a casual dating no strings attached But he's doing more that a casual date ??? Txt me every morning and during the day We seen each other at leas twice a week and enjoyed the time!!! I'm so confused now I'm his rebound or his my rebound?
What do you do once you realize that we’re in fact a rebound? How do you handle the situation after seeing them for 6 months and they want to causally see you but it went way to far. I love You’s happened, met the family etc...
i was dating rebound guy -emotionally unavailable .. he burned me emotionally. verbally abusive .. threaten to kill me treated me like dirt ... took me more then a year to heal .
True to the Mark! I was briefly dating a widower whose ex committed suicide 6 months earlier leaving him a single father of their 4 year old son. As much as I would have liked to believe that we could be something special there were too many red flags. Having been divorced and understanding the complexities of grief and that it's just not a linear process I knew I had to walk away. He was ultimately too entrenched in his grief to really appreciate me as a whole person and not just a 'band aid'. I also realised myself that the main reason why I was so intensely drawn to him was because I wanted to 'rescue' him and his little boy. Not a good reason to start a relationship. A younger more immature me would have not known any better!
Wow - amazing read on the situation Rose. Sounds like you had some phenomenal awareness to see the red flags and self honesty to say that you might be in a 'rescuer' mindset. Thanks for the comment!
I wish that I saw this video when I was a naive 23 year old dating a newly separated guy (who was also a bit older than me). Hindsight is a great thing isn't it? Great video! x
Sorry to hear Walang :( It's better to know early. Ignorance is NOT bliss. Btw come join me in the Facebook group if you have any questions about your situation: facebook.com/groups/766326563553359/ Mark x
It felt so real mark, he even talk to my parents that he will be courting me, when he can't text me, he always dropby at our house just to see me. So i thought it was so real. Before we become official i made it clear to him if im not a rebound and if he get over his ex. And he said, he'll wouldnt do all those sacrifices that i mention if im just a rebound. He said he moved on, and i believe him. Coz i thought it was true. What do you think mark? Am i just a really a rebound?? Im just relying to your signs and assuming that i may be his rebound. Pls.help me.😭💔
1-know how long it's been since his breakup or divorce. 2-He was already a long term friend of yours. 3-There wasn't a "No contact" periox with his ex. 4-He says: "you're so much better for me than my ex" after a short time. 5-He downplays the importance of his previous relationship. Thanks alot Mark🌹
Excellent advice. dating a guy now who is clearly looking at me as a rebound. He went through a divorce from his kids mother, then a break up of a five-year relationship and three months ago a girl who he thought was perfect broke up with him. he met me two weeks ago asked me to be exclusive with him, introduced me to his sister and friends on Easter Sunday but talks about his exes every date. and is friends with all of them even babysitting the dog of the 5 year ex. It's ridiculous and so I'm out lol!
Sounds like my ex husband! I see him trash and cheat on all these girls. I'm the mother of his child so I see it clearer than anyone of course I'm the "crazy" ex watching him play all these girls and the sad boyfriends who think he's just a "friend".
His ex said to me,"He's a player,he will ask you out and then once he tells his friends that he's dating someone,he'll break up with you and go back to me."
"troubled heart looking for companionship " good expression, those are the ones I get because Im such an agony aunt, and even when i try to act like i dont want to be and not interested, in knowing, they still see me coming along, and they cant wait to tell me !!
Thank you for the video. My bf: 1. When he met me; he has been a divorced man for nearly 2 years. And he went onto lots of dates before we met. 2. He only contacted/contacts his ex for matters that related to his child. 3. He acknowledges that he did have a great relationship with his ex at the start of their relationship. And he has never badmouthed his ex although at times he did tell a few things about her in a negative way. 4. He has never (yet) said that I was a better fit… for that, I often feel jealous. But I should not.
Super breaks my heart hearing your video and yes can relate to this so much 😢 he had said sorry to me three times after several great convo plans and dating. I chose to stay coz i believe i can help him recover but staying makes me feel less of myself.
Sorry to hear baout your spot Jackie. Rememer - not your job to help him recover and that's not a reason to stay - especially if it's making you feel like less of yourself... never lose yourself in a relationship xx
I’ve been in 1 serious relationship that lasted 6 years I’m 25 so I have little to no experience in dating… my serious relationship was amazing we ended things due to religious reasons sadly….. but I went out dating thinking that most guys would treat me the way my ex did and boy was I wrong ended up falling for a guy while being his rebound…. This is the first time ive ever experienced something like this and it hurts so much…. Makes me want my serious ex back I felt so comfortable with him we were literally best friends.
You said less than 3 months for breakup, but would it be longer for a longer period of time? For instance I feel like 3 months is still pretty short for a relationship that lasted 6 years vs one that lasted 2.
I think more like a solid year after no contact, guys need longer to heal because if their emotional deficiencies, and the work it takes which they often want to avoid.
I had to learn this the hard way and accept it. He wouldnt call me for days (eventhough we were together) he only wanted to see me late at night , never in the day time. I felt for him hard i thought id never move on.. They will string you along if you continue to let them. Its like they know they can use your nobility..
Oh God, I should've watched this at the beginning of the year! It would have saved me a lot of pain. Oh God, my situation ticks all the boxes.... Is there a video on how to turn back time?? :-`(````
This is like a stab to my heart. This guy I’ve been talking to and seeing, broke up with his ex of 4 years, only 2 months ago... I’ve been asking myself what the fuck I’m doing but I like him a lot :( and he says the same, even told his close mates about me, we talk 24/7. I’m taking it super slow though and being honest. I’m gonna take it super slow with my heart fully guarded but I know for sure if I am a rebound (which I kinda think I am) It’s gonna hurt so bad. Sometimes I think should I leave now, but I might regret it later bc this might be real 😓❤️ ahhhh so conflicted. I wish he never had an ex 😭😭 I like this bastard so much 😩
@sher Ly I left after a month. He was getting worse the more I got attached so it confirmed I was his rebound. He had started to cross more boundaries and would make quiet comments of needing to contact his ex then brushing it off like it was no big deal. He also started to breadcrumb a lot. If you think you're a rebound just leave now and don't question it. It's not worth the anxiety waiting for confirmation.
I met a guy and we have been friends for some time now and I knew he liked a girl. But suddenly he confessed his feelings to me. I know I am the rebound so I told him I can help him heal by being by his side as a friend. I like him and I wouldn't mind a relationship but I dont want to get hurt 💔
Okay so I'm kind of freaking out right now. He broke up with me after 3 months of relationship and 4 months of knowing each other. We fell in love with each other really fast (after 2 months). I'm not sure if I was his rebound I really don't know. He showed me how much he appreciated me, how much he loved me, told his parents about me, brought me to his hometown and we spent almost 2 weeks together in the house he grew up in. He always asked me if I was sure that I was ready to start a new relationship with him, told me that if I was looking for something casual that he's not the right guy for me because he wants something serious etc. You'd think I have no reason to think that I was his rebound but I'm still so scared that I was because I love him so much and when he broke up with me he sounded so unbothered..
My ex just move on with his girl friend. Now they were couple. We just broke up two weeks ago and he already move on. Please tell me what am I gonna do?
Just gathering information, meditating, plotting my escape, and crash into my final bliss and peace. I am better than this, I rather be alone and successful 🤷🏾♀️ tbh. ✨I am not gonna play any games about anything anymore.
I fell completely for this guy and he lied and said his last relationship was a year ago. When really he started coming after me two weeks after his breakup with his two year girlfriend who he lived with. I found this girls name in his phone and asked him who she was. He said she was nobody to him downplaying it. Yet every time she called he would answer as I saw on his call log. Ugh. Everything started adding up and the truth came out so I ended it after five months. I was just his bandaid all along until he could go back. It still hurts and cant understand how he could be so selfish wasting my time and using me to one up his ex.
i was with my bf for 4 years we lived togethef . both i decided to breakup things just seem to have got boring 5 weeks later he meets a girl and a day before was telling me he still loved me we spent a amzing day together and all my feelings came back the next day i asked if we could meet he said he was busy and then i rang him next day and asksd was u with another women he said yes and natural i got upset on phone. he then blocked my number . its been 3 weeks and i been told that she meant all the family and friends i just feel so replaced and have been txting none stop . i cant do it anyone so i have stop 4 days ago just kills me trying to do no contact whats your advise ??sorry im not very good at spelling lol
Roxanne can you book in with me personally? I'm HVW_Mark on Skype and mark@makehimyours.com.au to book. There's just SO much going on here that I feel like I can't do it proper justice over a TH-cam comment. Please take care of yourself and put your self respect first xx
Omg ! Now I know I'm in a rebounding relationship. He keeping bringing up his ex in the conversation and she demands him to spend holidays with her and the kids
Wow! In both videos, you perfectly describe a male friend I have. Some of the red flags you describe I noticed in the beginning of our friendship. At times I did feel doubts about not allowing our relationship to go beyond the friend zone. Thank you for the reassurance! :D!
em himan damn. My ex is dating a new girl and I know her but I feel bad for her because she's definitely a rebound and it's going to hurt her so bad if he leaves her
I think that in the surface we may seem like we are a mess but we heal, even if it hurts, while the guys put a band-aid and pray the wound doesn't get infected. So yes you are right. I love your channel.
Exactly. I remember during my last breakup I was like "breakup like a girl breakup like a girl breakup like a girl". No hookups, stay home and deal with your emotions. Managed to do it. It really works.
You are so cute lol "breakup like a girl". But yes it does, much slower process but it's more effective. I love that you take your time to answer to all your comments. Keep up the good work and the great videos :)
I don't actually think it is slower overall... I think it's harder iniitially, but 6 months later you feel soooooo much better because you've actually dealt with the pain. Thanks. I really enjoy it hey. Though it's quickly becoming a full time job :D
What's up with you mark? you're perfect head to toe 🤔sometimes men have nice face but ugly bodies 🙄 or nice face and chest but skinny legs🙄 but you're perfect head to toe..🤤🤤
I think my ex is in a rebound, we were together for 5 yrs. He jumped into a new one. He texted me a week after no contact to "check on me". He deleted all his exes except me so I deleted him to remove myself from his life...
This is always a weird situation, it makes you feel more like a psy right in the beginning and work instead of feeling attractive and loved. So when was your last relationship is the first thing i ask online.
Una pa lang naming date, bungad ng usapan namin ay tungkol sa mga ex niya na niloko siya. Hindi siya makaget over sa first ex niya kasi sabi niya first love e. Nung tumatagal nauumay na akong pakinggan yung mga kwento niya tungkol sa pagiging broken hearted niya sa tatlong ex niya. Yung una niyang naging gf, pinag-aral niya, siya yung gumagawa ng thesis, tinitreat niya ng kung ano ano para lang mapasaya niya pero pagkagraduate, nabuntis ng ibang lalaki at di na nagpakita. Yung 2nd ex niya, inalagaan niya, binilhan niya ng vitamins at tinulungan makahanap ng trabaho at nang makahanap na ng trabaho, ipinagpalit naman siya sa iba. Yung pangatlo, kahit napakalayon ng Talavera, Nueva Ecija, pinupuntahan niya yun. Niligawan niya. Binilhan pa niya ng cp at kung ano ano na pwedeng makakapagpasaya dun sa babaing yun. Pero ipinagpalit din siya sa iba. May naging ex din siya bago dun sa pangatlo, tinutulungan niya yun kapag may pageant. Pero nung kami na, sa una lang siya pabibo. Bandang huli, ako na ang naglalabas ng pera. Dahil bulag ako sa kanya pati buong ipon ko ibinigay ko sa kanya para makapagbayad bayad siya ng mga utang niya. Andun yung maraming dahilan. Pag kailangan niya ng pera pangmedikal, di ako humihindi kapag humihingi siya ng tulong. 3 taon akong nagtiis. Lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya na ibang iba ang turing mo sa akin kaysa dun sa mga nauna niyang ex-GFs. Ilang beses na rin niya ako ipinagkaila sa ibang tao at mga kaibigan niya. Paulit ulit kong sinasabi sa kanya kung ano yung nararamdaman. Pero kahit paulit ulit at parang sirang plaka na ako, di pa rin niya ako nuunawaan. Hindi naman ako materialistic. I only asked to be treated with kindness and love. Bandang huli, narealized ko na i was only being used para makasurvive siya. Past time lang pala ako sa kanya. Dahil base na rin sa nakausap kong babae na naging kachat niya, sex lang pala ang trip niya sa babae. :( kaya pala .
She saids she's ready to start new and won't look back after her breakup. Do I invest my time and go along or should I be caution with her? I'm confused
But wait! The guy is not going to tell you how long it’s been since his last break up. Some or most guys lie so they can get what they want. After all he could just be smashing.
You wait them out. Don't do a lot of dating, face-to-face contact, or have sex. He'll run if he wants to rush things....to meet his emotional emptiness.
I was today yrs old when I realized the guy I'm seeing is definitely on the rebound. 1) Always mentions his ex. 2). My race is an issue. 3) Says "I love you" when it hasn't even been a full month. Doesn't make any sense. I ended it & rlly happy I did. 💯👌 Ladies get out early!!!
she knows she’s the rebound she simply doesn’t care, because she’s that desperate for attention. she makes him do and post the same things he did for me. the difference between us is i never asked him to do those for me. it still hurts tho, im disappointed in him.
I'm here now at the opposite end and I don't really know what it means... My boyfriend for 6 years who's also the father of my child moved on 5 minutes after I said I really can't do this anymore... what happened was, two weeks before I called it off official we had a huge fight over finances. he tried apologizing and when he noticed that I'm not convinced he'd start another fight which made me even more upset. he'd lay off for a few days then make contact again that's when I said I seriously can't deal with his behavior... he then posted a new girl and decided to quarantine with her... in that process he still checks up on me and it's not always about our son.
Great, thank you. Would like to hear more about this subject. P.S. I prefer when your face is close to the camera:) P.S.2 Did you get my e-mail with a question about the possibility of making a video about long-distance relationship? Or long-distance communication? How to make him waiting for seeing me again?
My pleasure. Ok, great feedback, thankyou! Sure did Catie. I'm doing some more comprehensive stuff on long distance relationships coming out soon, but I'll touch on this in Ask Mark tomorrow so you can get some starting ideas!
So he didn't come to visit me. He said it makes him kinda sad, because he really does want to see me before going there. And he said that it will be exciting when we meet again after 3 months. Will see... I'm trying to be skeptical... But I already know I will suffer anyway if he ignores me. I'm just trying very hard to not fall in love so deeply and unreasonably like last time. Heh, and here comes another subject that interests me - age difference. I'll write you an e-mail.
Sorry to hear Catie you guys didn't get to catch up Katie. I'll post my response on Ask Mark tonight and hopefully it will give you some tips about keeping his interest long distance... while also giving you my thoughts, and some of the issues with long distance as a whole.
This is interesting from the other side. My ex is fearful avoidant who monkey branched to another after a mostly good relationship with me. He ran scared after expressing deep feelings for me. He wanted to be friends. Nope. He tried to downplay our relationship. Nope. I walked away. I am sure the rebound is in for a rough time. I have moved on. He still texts me occasionally, likes my posts even though I unfriended him.
He was trying to date me exclusively after our 3rd date. I told him I wanted to take it slow and then later on he told me about his ex gf and how she’s been trying to get back with him. I thought they broke up like 2-3 months ago but it’s only been a month. I don’t know what to dooooo.
What's sad is that I'm not the rebound. I'm the one he was falling in love with and got dumped because he got cold feet. Now he's in a rebound relationship but he doesn't show any passion for her and barely gives her any attention on social media. They don't post pictures together and he never likes any of her profile pictures. He's not flirty or romantic with her (at least, not publicly) like he was with me. He literally looks miserable. I mean, he's doing a horrible job of faking it on Facebook. It's so frustrating to watch because I can see that he's not happy but he has too much pride to do the work he needs to do for us to get back together and be happy. I'm not going to chase him but it's really sad to stand by and watch. He looks absolutely miserable, can't even fake a smile. It's like he's just going through the motions to say that he has somebody. It's obvious he's doing it just to fill a void. It's just crazy because with me he was all smiles, all the time. We both were.
We broke up then 2 weeks later he gets a rebound and blocks me in Snapchat I texted him eventually and he never mentioned once he was in a relationship he just said he’s busy
Your video helps! Good thing I wasn't dating for a long time ! I met his family and stuff thinking he wanted something serious. All he did was talks about his ex,I was supportive of him and caring. But nothing was good enough. Today he dumped me and told me I was just a rebound and played with my emotions. He told me everything was a lie. Now I might be pregnant,I'm so emotional 😭. I don't know what to do.
Hey Mark! Thanks a lot for all your videos! So you talked a lot about the breakup process women are usually going through. Is the “grieving “ process that men are going through is so different than women? If it’s is, what it’s like Thanks :)
I think I'm a rebound, what frustrates me is he didn't show those signs. Apparently he's been single for 2 years; we were together for just 2 months and then he broke it off abruptly. After 6 weeks of breaking up he suddenly has a new gf. I really doubt that new girl is a new rebound so I think it's actually his ex, therefore that makes me the rebound... :(
I had a break up like 3 months ago. I e done a lot of dating..not looking for anything serious. That’d be dumb!! But, the guy I’m seeing most often, he experienced a divorce -ma year ago. But he talks about her too often for me. I have not mentioned my ex once! Only said the last relationship ended in Nov after daring 8 years. That’s it!!! They do share a 6 year old together. & get along great! My concern is he’s wanting something so desperately to replace her. That’s not gonna be me!! I’ve stepped back some & have asked him to as well. I want a healthy long term relationship based on me and the guy, not exes!! Each person needs a different amount of time to heal. I wanna be 100% for the man I choose eventually..not in pieces! Hold out ladies for the one!! Not just someone!!
My ex fiance of 5years dumped me for his ex that cheated on him. Me & him still live together I feel like he still loves me he worrys about what I'm wearing and he touches me. He says he wants to burn or get rid of the clothes I wear......his gf.....has been on my social media trying to get my attention and creeping and she blows his phone up when he's at home or by me lol
LOL! All but #2, and I say that because they just met. But I promise you all of the other 4 apply to his new relationship. He is already "in love" and moved in together less than 2 months after ending our 10 year relationship AND he was still playing games with us both until he chose her. I know it is only for the companionship, he told me so.
I just dated a womderful beautiful cool sexy woman for two months, starting three months after the end of my previous relationship. I thought I was ready to move on but When I found out a couple weeks ago that my ex had monkey branched 10 days after our breakup, it re-opened my wounds and exposed to me and the new lady that I just wasn't able to give her my best. I feel awful. She deserves so much better than to be part of the emotional shrapnel from my breakup. I'd reach out to her to say I'm sorry, but she's broken hearted and I don't want to be cruel. Please, guys. Jump into the pain after your breakup. Get through it alone or with friends, family, therapist. Be absolutely sure you're ready. No one deserves to be a rebound.
Hi , Mark how are you honestly I'm addicted already to your video's . My day is not complete without listening to your previous video's . Keep it up you help me a lot 😊 . I learned to much things from those video's that I seen . Anyway keep it up take care and God bless you .
hi mark,im dinah i have been dating this guy for 2 months and im quite worried about the way he is sooooo jealous ,cause it really scares me of and i tried talkng to him but he always accuses me of cheating and all sorts of things,is it normal fr a guy to be too jealous that he doesn't want his girlfriend to have any sort of friends be it guy or girl?
My friend me and him have just started to talk but he had a girlfriend and than they broke up and than got back together she broke up with him Bc of a joke and now he is single but than he said he had a crush on me and I told him to take a break from dating and he said I’m going to take a break from dating for a month or two I told him he needs to take a longer than a month or two to find him self I told him that sound like a rebound he just doesn’t wanna be alone for Christmas because he said he saved so much money for Christmas to get matching outfits with his ex before they broke up and I keep trying to tell him that he just needs to take a break and hopefully he listens but thank you for the advice
That was a very smart thing you did. You didn't allow him to use you or take advantage of you. Not saying he would purposely break your heart, but it's a possibility if he is still hung up on his ex. I use to be pretty good friends with this guy that I met through mutual friends, we both were going through a bad break up, once I just end a relationship the last thing that I want is to immediately jump into another relationship, I just can't. But my friend the more we hung out the more he started to like me. Even his friends told me that he did. He tried intiating sex a few times too. But we both were still hung up on our ex's, I definitely knew he was bc he was always talking about her, wanting her back. I've been there before and got played for a fool bc I didnt pay attention to the red flags. But I told him that we should just stay friends, and that's it.
Mmmh shit, I feel like my friend is trying to do this with me. We are very good friends and he is in a relationship now that he says is toxic. He was in a toxic relationship before he got together with the girlfriend he has now. Due to all this he has been quite emotionally distraught I have been there for him for the last year and tried to support him, but now he is flirting with me and dropping HUGE hints. I kinda get the feeling that he does not really love me, but more the idea that a relationship with me would be good. Your video has made me even more sure of that, thank you!!!
He will need closure from that past relationship or seek help. Part of him still attached to that relationship especially if it was a really strong connection. If he continues living in the denial of whatever he had back then is truly over, if he still hope he can get that back in another person, it's a problem. Cause everyone is different and unique. He will miss out on a chance of experiencing a new flavour in the relationship he has.
They broke up 3 months ago and went on a road trip a couple weeks ago just to talk. Now they talk when we are out, when she calls he hides his phone and says it’s his mom 💀
What if a guy who shows 0 signs of not being able to let go of his ex/ ours was a rebound relationship at all? He did not bring up about her, would gladly answer if i had questions about their relationship but acted normal and didn't show any extreme feelings at all, no comparison, no hard feelings, was genuinely attentive and happy when we were together, broke up with his ex 10 months ago and had been keep moving our relationship forward? This guy i had been seeing for about 5 months just broke up with me out of the blue. Just few hours before he decided that, he was still being really attentive and fully invested in our relationship..... next morning he woke up just told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, needed to work on himself and said i deserved better. I was shocked since i did not see that coming at all ( I am the kind of person who carefully filtered out all the possible signs of unavailable guys before I start to invest and let my guards down and obviously he did not show ANY of those signs that he was still hung up on his ex). I am usually pretty rational and takes things at face value but my intuition keeps telling me this is not the reason :( something is very off
![5 More Signs You're His REBOUND [Rebound Girlfriend]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-cS83rpW48s/mqdefault.jpg)
![5 More Signs You're His REBOUND [Rebound Girlfriend]](/img/tr.png)
Who's here now still watching this video on 5 Signs You're His Rebound?? If so, hit 'reply' to let me know your thoughts on the video! You can also DM me on insta @makehimyours and come behind the scenes on filming! And don't forget your FREE download via www.makehimyours.com.au/7secrets
checking it out right now...we're both separated, but I dated around he hasn't...been together 2 months (exclusive, but no labels)...not sure if he's emotionally unavailable, or we just need to continue to go slow....good news is he doesn't have any signs except the separation timeline
I just went through this and it was very painful. The guy and his ex dated 5 years and she broke up with him because she was depressed but really I think it was bc they were long distant. I met him when they’d been broken up for 10 months and he hadn’t dated, so I thought it was safe. He was closed off but over time opened up to me. I was extremely patient, didn’t pressure, had fun, etc. Our connection was wonderful, but he broke it off with me abruptly and was very emotional. Out of the blue and he cried (said it was his career, he had feelings for me but wasn’t “sure”) but I know it was his ex. I felt it. This was after 6 months. He wasn’t over her. He said it wasn’t a clean break in that their break up didn’t have a reason behind it. I’d caution anyone to date a guy that hasn’t been broke up for at least a year. He will want to play the field again and isn’t healed yet. He will use and discard you.
I'm here. I'm his rebound. I'll never do it again. I hope.
Currently living this dream. Knew him before he met his ex. He was like a part of my family. I got him a job at my work last year when he moved back to town. They broke up towards the end of last year. My marriage has also broken up at the same time but that's been dead for years. We started seeing each other, then after a couple of amazing months, he said he was having a bit of a mental health issue (BPD?) and needed space. She was the space! I was left high and dry and surprisingly pregnant, and alone. I had a miscarriage shortly afterwards which has left me in my own pit of despair and he's nowhere to be seen. All I got was a huge rant via whatsapp, apparently this is somehow all my fault for not giving him space, and now I have to see him at work most nights whilst he ignores me. He hasn't even asked me how I am doing. And like a moron, I'd forgive him in a NY minute and take him back. His Ex/GF whatever is also a sociopath. She did this to him once before, isolated him from his friends, family, job until he was completely reliant on her. Convinced him we were all a threat but cant tell him why. He cant see that she isn't helping him, she's the threat. So I wait..... its been 2 months now, and I'm distracting myself by trying to become a better me. But its so hard. I'm angry at him for his lack of honesty, for cheating, for his treatment of me, for running away from the mess he made and for not taking responsibility. But then there's that love thing.... and although I'm doing the whole no contact thing, I miss him so much. I'm keeping the faith that what broke them up in the first place hasnt been resolved, and frankly wont be (I know what caused it as we discussed it at length, being friends!) and that our 7 year friendship will beckon to him at the other end and bring him back. Everything else can be sorted from there.
Maybe he is saying that because they only dated for like a couple of months.
I'm going through this now , it's so painful cos I fell in love with him too quickly 😭😭😭😭😭
How are you.?
Same it hurts
Same! I have strong feelings for someone who isn’t emotionally available. 😭😭😭😭
Me too girl 😭it took me a year to get over him smh
Girrrrl......same 😞
that why its better to be single
Ahahaha avoidance is never the answer Lanie! Not when the result is worth it
Mark Rosenfeld true but i find it good in that way.
I'm in the same boat Lanie. I haven't dated in over three years.
Lanie Villamor exactly 😂 I’m done trying
@Gemma Dann Hey Gemma. Did he actually call you "a shit full second rate replacement"?
This one's spot on. My recent ex who was clearly rebounding first told me his last relationship was "this year' when we met end of last year. Turns out it ended as a little as a month before we met. When I first asked him about that breakup he also brushed it aside and said he was "fine with it". Fast forward to 8 months later and he has realised (after mentioning her non-stop) that he's not over her and while he doesn't think he wants to be with her again, he's realised I'm not the one he's in love with. We travelled, we made plans .. all gone. I helped him deal with his breakup .. and ended up heartbroken.
Ohh Naveen! I'm sorry to hear that. But for least, you were brave enough to face it. I hope everything is well for you. Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for watching and for your comment!
Yes, unfortunately you become their therapist to get over their ex. Sad
Update.....
Also if you are talking and he disappears then texts you out of the blue. You are definitely a rebound. Great subject Mark :)
Can definitely be a sign aswell - absolutely thanks for commenting Diana. We'll put a bit more on this topic out on Wednesday
Yes! Would love to hear any advice about what to say to a vanisher when he returns out of the blue. Like, you've been dating for a few weeks, he used to text you every day, promised all these fun future dates, then POOF - ghost! But a few weeks later, he texts you like nothing changed. How do we navigate that? Should we even bother responding? Thanks. :)
Alexandria Baisden I actually have had a couple guys be honest with me after that has happened. They said they were on a break with the gf when we were talking. I tell them thanks for being honest, but lose my number. I'm not ok with being second best. I just walk away 🙂
Yeh I like Diana's thoughts Alexandria. Men often do this when they're getting the 'benefits' of a relationship from you then jump ship because they feel like they can get them elsewhere in a woman they have stronger feelings for. As Diana mentioned, it's often a previous girlfriend. His lack of consistency and emotional momentum exposes his true feelings, unfortunately. Perhaps, if a lot of time has passed, you could catch up with him again (in person) then call him on his actions. See his response. If he's apologetic and explanative, maybe there's wiggle room, but I really think you have to be thinking 'once bitten, twice shy' in any situation like this.
Wow, thanks so much for the responses guys! This makes me feel so much better about forgetting all about him. I'm not cool with being second best either, and I have a lot of peace about moving on. There's someone way better in the future. Thanks, guys! :)
My own personal experience of being the rebound was when I noticed that he was always trashing his ex.......you know, like constantly putting her down, telling me she was no good and how all his friends had warned him about her and he should have listened to his friends and how he is so much better off without her......BIG RED FLAG LADIES!
Even if a man his trashing his ex, it means that she is still on his mind and if she is still on his mind then that means he is not over her yet.
In fact I got the feeling that he was trying to convince himself that he didn't love her any more......and not being successful about it.
The final straw for me was when he started telling me about her favourite sex positions..........I was gone!
Let someone else listen to it.
Good thoughts Lorraine, that is one on the spot! Thanks so much for watching and commenting.
@@Markrosenfeld @Lorraine Correct!! When a man put his ex down and talk negatieve about her, that's a big red flag. When your 're done with someone and really in love with another you don't feel the need to do this. However some women and men see this as a sign that he is really into the New lover. In their mind bashing an ex means they' re much better than the ex. Untill the same happen to them. Don't let them fool you!! Run!! A man who bashes his ex is a No go for me, cuz that shows me you don't take responsebillity for your part of the failing relationship.
Oh God fav. Sex positions wow! This guy is crazy. I just had when he told me that he dumped her because she was unattractive and ugly and he couldn't deal with it anymore and he told me that he is very attractive to me and never felt like this before. Then in a month, he pushes me away, without a reason. I feel bad for her and for me. 😭
😂😂😂😱OH my goodness
I DONT BELIEVE ANY OF IT💯💯💯
Basically, don't let him use you to feel better.
I was the rebound before. Omg it sucked!! Defintly crushes the ego knowing the guy you liked was just using you to help distract his mind from the girl that he really actually wants. Knowing while he's with you, he's thinking about her instead. Dude left his gf and then leads me on and after 6 months of flirting and fooling around he randomly tells me how he didn't want to date me anymore and that he wasn't attracted to me and felt that way for a while.. like wtf did you still continue to play with my feelings and waste my time then??.. he dropped me and crawled back to his ex and never talked to me again. He said he was done with her, and told me we had a chance to changing his mind and wanting her again and becomes disgusted with me. I guess the more time he spent with me, the more he realized he missed her 💔 it sucked. But I got over it. Just not a pleasant memory.
Same. He.would never cut his ex no matter how much it bothered me, fought tooth and nail to stay in contact with her but when he broke up with me he cut me off completely. I'm hurt but it is a learning experience. Never will I let a man have me confused in a love triangle ever again
@@Nicolefairy95 omg I'm sorry girl! What an a**hole!! I was never about being anyone's spare tire. I wish guys were more honest from the start instead of wasting our time and getting us to like them to not lead it anywhere after that. And it was all good for me bc after he got back with his ex they dated for another 3 months until she cheated on him with his best friend lls. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right.. but I look at it as his karma bc looking back (my guy) was an ungrateful, cocky, arrogant, hypocritical, a**hole!! He did me a favor bc we had nothing in common, and we couldn't communicate. He never wanted to listen to me.. I was just in denial of who he was and living on cloud 9 until I had no choice but to see his true colors the end. I was just lonely, and desperate. Ahhhh memory lane lol
That's cuz some guys want what they can't have. It's the thrill of the chase. If you're with him and by his side he'll think of the girl or his ex that he can't be with.
Same
I started talking to a guy 3 months after his ex dumped him. I asked him many times in the beginning if he was really over her and he promised he was.
Then after a few months with me he realized he was not over her, and his feelings for me did not feel the same, he got kind of "depressed" and one day he just told me about this, like after 1 month after he realized he was not over her. And then just out of the blue he dumped me...
He's my first love and I'm so hurt...we had already plans to move together and travel this winter...
And now I know that even though he was with me I wasn't good enough, it was just her her and her all the time...
I know they will never be together again, cause his ex really doesn't want him back...
It feels like our time together didn't mean anything to him.
Emelie Stenberg oh I hope you're doing ok now. this is raw for me as I'm going through this right now and it hurts so much
Selfishness ;( hope you are well now
I'm so sorry for you. That's the worst anyone can do. I'm scared of this too... I hope you're okay now. Don't feel like you weren't good enough for him, it's just that he wasn't good enough for you :)
Awww noooo! I’m so sorry :( he is a fucking asshole
I'm in the same boat, an my heart is literally breaking I've never had this happen to me before.
This makes me wonder if he's MY rebound...
If the break-up is less than one year ago, run for your life, because, when his heart heals, he will not be so eager to get back into another committed relationship so soon. He will be ready to play the field again. He realizes that he is breaking your heart, but that won't stop him from dropping you. If he has a conscience, he may feel guilty for using and discarding you; but that won't stop him either. To ease his own conscience, he may buy you an expensive gift, ask you to "just be friends," or even ask you to forgive him; and you will because you love him. Sisters, don't let this happen to you. If you want to help him, be his friend, i.e., refer him to a reputable therapist who specializes in this sort of thing; and run like hell in the other direction. Take this from an old pro. I've been there and it's no fun, only heart break; and it sucks big time!!!
Story of my life
fuck. im so scared
What if his ex was in an online relationship?
How bout drop the while fucking thing all together and call it a day lmao
So sorry you are going through this, that's the worst feeling!. But know that you are good enough, in fact, you're beyond good enough! Now is important to get support for yourself to become stronger and heal. Like so many of us, you're taking away a valuable lesson about male behavior and it's important to not allow this to make you bitter as you move forward in letting go of him, and you will no longer fall into these man traps. In fact, you'll be more attractive, especially to the right guy because you will not give over your heart so easily- you'll know over a long period of time that he really is all in with you But now instead, take care of yourself and do healthy good that will make you feel better about you and the good things you are. Then give your life to things that will have a better return and joy. Heal and let your light shine! Wishing you all the best in your healing and life, love, and much happiness!
I 've seen these signs this week and ran for my life🏃♀️
Oh sheesh. Dodged a bullet!
I ran too
Y'ALL, listen to this man. I didn't, and the guy I was seeing called me by his ex's name during intimacy......twice. He's also done a number of the things Mark mentions here, and even went so far as to tell me to not dye my hair a certain color because I would "look too much like her." If it smells fishy, you're probably already in the ocean and need a life raft. This video is your life raft. GTFO.
Omg so it does happen?! I'm sorry you went through that. My ex started dating someone immediately after we broke up. Apparently she looks like me because I had people asking me if it was me in a pic he posted on a story. Super weird...
😂😭😂
Thanks for the advice ☺️ Same thing happened to me. He dumped me 🤣 and I might be pregnant from him. I really hope not :(. If I am I'll take the baby with me and not tell him :-/
I love the "this video is your life raft" 🤣 I'm cracking up over here lol
I loved that we were going slow. What a bummer, I was the rebound. I’ve never been one before. Mark is spot on with all the signs, be cautious people!
Gawd, I've gotta stop publishing videos at 2am. Apologies guys, not my finest editing moment.
Mark Rosenfeld
My bf or casual date ?
Been separated for 3 years he started dating or going out with me after that!!
I was with someone 22 years split
And start dating after 4 months of the brake up
The father of my kids had a girlfriend ( that is the reason we split he move on look so miserable)
Meet this guys who is amazing in all the aspects, a gentleman and a amazing sex machine ( I can't complain about it)
I been following your advices
And at the beginning we decided a casual dating no strings attached
But he's doing more that a casual date ???
Txt me every morning and during the day
We seen each other at leas twice a week and enjoyed the time!!!
I'm so confused now
I'm his rebound or his my rebound?
Mark Rosenfeld ..are you suspended in air? Nice info..tyvm
What do you do once you realize that we’re in fact a rebound? How do you handle the situation after seeing them for 6 months and they want to causally see you but it went way to far. I love You’s happened, met the family etc...
Mark Rosenfeld what about if the guy you’re talking to was away vacation and he randomly liked his ex gfs 2 most recent photos on IG??
Avoiding relationships all together is probably best but deep down we're all looking for love So eventually we go looking for it
A good point, You Too. Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts!
I wish you published this video eight months earlier... My heart wouldn't be broken now...
i was dating rebound guy -emotionally unavailable .. he burned me emotionally.
verbally abusive .. threaten to kill me treated me like dirt ... took me more then a year to heal .
Truth hurts, but knowledge is power. Thanks Mark for this enlightening video.
True to the Mark! I was briefly dating a widower whose ex committed suicide 6 months earlier leaving him a single father of their 4 year old son. As much as I would have liked to believe that we could be something special there were too many red flags. Having been divorced and understanding the complexities of grief and that it's just not a linear process I knew I had to walk away. He was ultimately too entrenched in his grief to really appreciate me as a whole person and not just a 'band aid'. I also realised myself that the main reason why I was so intensely drawn to him was because I wanted to 'rescue' him and his little boy. Not a good reason to start a relationship. A younger more immature me would have not known any better!
Wow - amazing read on the situation Rose. Sounds like you had some phenomenal awareness to see the red flags and self honesty to say that you might be in a 'rescuer' mindset. Thanks for the comment!
I wish that I saw this video when I was a naive 23 year old dating a newly separated guy (who was also a bit older than me). Hindsight is a great thing isn't it? Great video! x
4 out of 5. Yes im rebound. And it hurts like hell😭😭😭😭😭💔
Sorry to hear Walang :( It's better to know early. Ignorance is NOT bliss.
Btw come join me in the Facebook group if you have any questions about your situation: facebook.com/groups/766326563553359/
Mark x
It felt so real mark, he even talk to my parents that he will be courting me, when he can't text me, he always dropby at our house just to see me. So i thought it was so real. Before we become official i made it clear to him if im not a rebound and if he get over his ex. And he said, he'll wouldnt do all those sacrifices that i mention if im just a rebound. He said he moved on, and i believe him. Coz i thought it was true. What do you think mark? Am i just a really a rebound?? Im just relying to your signs and assuming that i may be his rebound. Pls.help me.😭💔
Her ex dumped him 5 mos. Ago. They live together for 3 yrs.
Same here I was a rebound lol I feel numb tho but there is pain TT
musta ka na ngayon sis
Ooh. Im officially rebound after almost 5 minutes. Great. 😅
This reminds me of that great quote:
How is it possible that so few men are in therapy when every single man I've ever met should 100% be in therapy.
1-know how long it's been since his breakup or divorce.
2-He was already a long term friend of yours.
3-There wasn't a "No contact" periox with his ex.
4-He says: "you're so much better for me than my ex" after a short time.
5-He downplays the importance of his previous relationship.
Thanks alot Mark🌹
My pleasure, Zee Angel! Thanks for watching!
If I have 2 out of the ones you mentioned am I his rebound?
Excellent advice. dating a guy now who is clearly looking at me as a rebound. He went through a divorce from his kids mother, then a break up of a five-year relationship and three months ago a girl who he thought was perfect broke up with him. he met me two weeks ago asked me to be exclusive with him, introduced me to his sister and friends on Easter Sunday but talks about his exes every date. and is friends with all of them even babysitting the dog of the 5 year ex. It's ridiculous and so I'm out lol!
Oh wow Nancy - thanks so much for sharing. Glad you've seen the warning signs and caught all this early. Sheesh.
Yikes
Is he a virgo?
Sounds like my ex husband! I see him trash and cheat on all these girls. I'm the mother of his child so I see it clearer than anyone of course I'm the "crazy" ex watching him play all these girls and the sad boyfriends who think he's just a "friend".
My ex broke up with his girlfriend and IMMEDIATELY went to me
His ex said to me,"He's a player,he will ask you out and then once he tells his friends that he's dating someone,he'll break up with you and go back to me."
Female nightmare, how did it all turn out? Doesn't sound the greatest...
rebound
"troubled heart looking for companionship "
good expression, those are the ones I get because Im such an agony aunt, and even when i try to act like i dont want to be and not interested, in knowing, they still see me coming along, and they cant wait to tell me !!
Thank you for the video. My bf:
1. When he met me; he has been a divorced man for nearly 2 years. And he went onto lots of dates before we met.
2. He only contacted/contacts his ex for matters that related to his child.
3. He acknowledges that he did have a great relationship with his ex at the start of their relationship. And he has never badmouthed his ex although at times he did tell a few things about her in a negative way.
4. He has never (yet) said that I was a better fit… for that, I often feel jealous. But I should not.
wow you damn cute.....anyway thanks for the video
Thanks sqwincy
Super breaks my heart hearing your video and yes can relate to this so much 😢 he had said sorry to me three times after several great convo plans and dating. I chose to stay coz i believe i can help him recover but staying makes me feel less of myself.
Sorry to hear baout your spot Jackie. Rememer - not your job to help him recover and that's not a reason to stay - especially if it's making you feel like less of yourself... never lose yourself in a relationship xx
Yeah Mark thank you
Rose Lavi didnt mentioned I am God. Recover means trying to help him forgetting his past so please do not question who I am.
I’ve been in 1 serious relationship that lasted 6 years I’m 25 so I have little to no experience in dating… my serious relationship was amazing we ended things due to religious reasons sadly….. but I went out dating thinking that most guys would treat me the way my ex did and boy was I wrong ended up falling for a guy while being his rebound…. This is the first time ive ever experienced something like this and it hurts so much…. Makes me want my serious ex back I felt so comfortable with him we were literally best friends.
You said less than 3 months for breakup, but would it be longer for a longer period of time? For instance I feel like 3 months is still pretty short for a relationship that lasted 6 years vs one that lasted 2.
I think more like a solid year after no contact, guys need longer to heal because if their emotional deficiencies, and the work it takes which they often want to avoid.
I had to learn this the hard way and accept it. He wouldnt call me for days (eventhough we were together) he only wanted to see me late at night , never in the day time. I felt for him hard i thought id never move on.. They will string you along if you continue to let them. Its like they know they can use your nobility..
Oh God, I should've watched this at the beginning of the year!
It would have saved me a lot of pain.
Oh God, my situation ticks all the boxes....
Is there a video on how to turn back time??
:-`(````
I just love how you explain things :) keep on doing videos :)
Cheers Annina - I definitely will
This is like a stab to my heart. This guy I’ve been talking to and seeing, broke up with his ex of 4 years, only 2 months ago... I’ve been asking myself what the fuck I’m doing but I like him a lot :( and he says the same, even told his close mates about me, we talk 24/7. I’m taking it super slow though and being honest. I’m gonna take it super slow with my heart fully guarded but I know for sure if I am a rebound (which I kinda think I am) It’s gonna hurt so bad. Sometimes I think should I leave now, but I might regret it later bc this might be real 😓❤️ ahhhh so conflicted. I wish he never had an ex 😭😭 I like this bastard so much 😩
How did it turn out? I am in the same situation and wondering if I should just bounce after 1 week of talking before getting more invested
@@Vr4z1el I'm in the same situation....
@sher Ly I left after a month. He was getting worse the more I got attached so it confirmed I was his rebound. He had started to cross more boundaries and would make quiet comments of needing to contact his ex then brushing it off like it was no big deal. He also started to breadcrumb a lot. If you think you're a rebound just leave now and don't question it. It's not worth the anxiety waiting for confirmation.
I met a guy and we have been friends for some time now and I knew he liked a girl. But suddenly he confessed his feelings to me. I know I am the rebound so I told him I can help him heal by being by his side as a friend. I like him and I wouldn't mind a relationship but I dont want to get hurt 💔
Nice work Δήμητρα Καραγιάννη - take things very slow and if you do hook up, make sure you KEEP things casual.
I am the Ex that he broke up with but clearly is not over. Now he’s in a rebound. 🧐
i was a rebound but then i showed him my happy life without him...now he feel embarrassed & regret...no more chance for him
The first point cannot be fixed so easily. It differs from one man to another. It could even take him years to overcome his grief
Okay so I'm kind of freaking out right now. He broke up with me after 3 months of relationship and 4 months of knowing each other. We fell in love with each other really fast (after 2 months). I'm not sure if I was his rebound I really don't know. He showed me how much he appreciated me, how much he loved me, told his parents about me, brought me to his hometown and we spent almost 2 weeks together in the house he grew up in. He always asked me if I was sure that I was ready to start a new relationship with him, told me that if I was looking for something casual that he's not the right guy for me because he wants something serious etc. You'd think I have no reason to think that I was his rebound but I'm still so scared that I was because I love him so much and when he broke up with me he sounded so unbothered..
Can you do a videos about how to move on faster?
My ex just move on with his girl friend. Now they were couple. We just broke up two weeks ago and he already move on. Please tell me what am I gonna do?
I've never been in a relationship before I gotta learn as much as I can!
Thanks for watching Alex, I hope you'll learn a lot from my channel, Cheers! xx
Just gathering information, meditating, plotting my escape, and crash into my final bliss and peace. I am better than this, I rather be alone and successful 🤷🏾♀️ tbh. ✨I am not gonna play any games about anything anymore.
I just realized that I think I was a rebound.
I fell completely for this guy and he lied and said his last relationship was a year ago. When really he started coming after me two weeks after his breakup with his two year girlfriend who he lived with. I found this girls name in his phone and asked him who she was. He said she was nobody to him downplaying it. Yet every time she called he would answer as I saw on his call log. Ugh. Everything started adding up and the truth came out so I ended it after five months. I was just his bandaid all along until he could go back. It still hurts and cant understand how he could be so selfish wasting my time and using me to one up his ex.
Great advice! Wish I saw this 3 years ago, all the signs he mentioned are true. Unfortunately I learned the hard way.
i was with my bf for 4 years we lived togethef . both i decided to breakup things just seem to have got boring 5 weeks later he meets a girl and a day before was telling me he still loved me we spent a amzing day together and all my feelings came back the next day i asked if we could meet he said he was busy and then i rang him next day and asksd was u with another women he said yes and natural i got upset on phone. he then blocked my number . its been 3 weeks and i been told that she meant all the family and friends i just feel so replaced and have been txting none stop . i cant do it anyone so i have stop 4 days ago just kills me trying to do no contact whats your advise ??sorry im not very good at spelling lol
Roxanne can you book in with me personally? I'm HVW_Mark on Skype and mark@makehimyours.com.au to book. There's just SO much going on here that I feel like I can't do it proper justice over a TH-cam comment. Please take care of yourself and put your self respect first xx
Roxanne Price I have only just seen ur reply . I shall add u now
Roxanne Price you MUST do no contact!!it works. Be patient. Im curious to find out what happened. Whats going on now????
mel I did the no contact hasn't work he is still with her :(((but im healing myslef now feeling alot better alone:))xx
Omg ! Now I know I'm in a rebounding relationship. He keeping bringing up his ex in the conversation and she demands him to spend holidays with her and the kids
Wow! In both videos, you perfectly describe a male friend I have. Some of the red flags you describe I noticed in the beginning of our friendship. At times I did feel doubts about not allowing our relationship to go beyond
the friend zone. Thank you for the reassurance! :D!
My pleasure Blanca - am glad you enjoyed the video and got some clarity with it.
After 4:53 minutes, just found out im a Rebound. 💔
em himan damn. My ex is dating a new girl and I know her but I feel bad for her because she's definitely a rebound and it's going to hurt her so bad if he leaves her
em himan were there signs in the beginning? Like were you a friend of his? Did he recently come out of a breakup when he got with you?
Em Himan me too
This sounds like my ex and what he's doing with his new "friend" lol
Girls are so much better at breakups than boys. They really are.
I think that in the surface we may seem like we are a mess but we heal, even if it hurts, while the guys put a band-aid and pray the wound doesn't get infected. So yes you are right. I love your channel.
Exactly. I remember during my last breakup I was like "breakup like a girl breakup like a girl breakup like a girl". No hookups, stay home and deal with your emotions. Managed to do it. It really works.
You are so cute lol "breakup like a girl". But yes it does, much slower process but it's more effective. I love that you take your time to answer to all your comments. Keep up the good work and the great videos :)
I don't actually think it is slower overall... I think it's harder iniitially, but 6 months later you feel soooooo much better because you've actually dealt with the pain.
Thanks. I really enjoy it hey. Though it's quickly becoming a full time job :D
I wonder if I m (HER) rebound yeah not a girl here
Totally happens in reverse ofcourse
What's up with you mark? you're perfect head to toe 🤔sometimes men have nice face but ugly bodies 🙄 or nice face and chest but skinny legs🙄 but you're perfect head to toe..🤤🤤
I think my ex is in a rebound, we were together for 5 yrs. He jumped into a new one. He texted me a week after no contact to "check on me". He deleted all his exes except me so I deleted him to remove myself from his life...
Oh sheesh that sucks - I hope everything's going well with you. x
@@Markrosenfeld yeah I'm pretty much moving on
Damn I really was the rebound lmao, fit every description too smh 🤦🏻♀️
So sorry to hear that Karla, but for what is is worth watching this video, you found out about it. Thanks for watching. xx
This is always a weird situation, it makes you feel more like a psy right in the beginning and work instead of feeling attractive and loved. So when was your last relationship is the first thing i ask online.
most men have female friends before his break up
That's true Eusebia - many do, though it depends a lot on the guy. Often, they may not be close.
Una pa lang naming date, bungad ng usapan namin ay tungkol sa mga ex niya na niloko siya. Hindi siya makaget over sa first ex niya kasi sabi niya first love e. Nung tumatagal nauumay na akong pakinggan yung mga kwento niya tungkol sa pagiging broken hearted niya sa tatlong ex niya. Yung una niyang naging gf, pinag-aral niya, siya yung gumagawa ng thesis, tinitreat niya ng kung ano ano para lang mapasaya niya pero pagkagraduate, nabuntis ng ibang lalaki at di na nagpakita. Yung 2nd ex niya, inalagaan niya, binilhan niya ng vitamins at tinulungan makahanap ng trabaho at nang makahanap na ng trabaho, ipinagpalit naman siya sa iba. Yung pangatlo, kahit napakalayon ng Talavera, Nueva Ecija, pinupuntahan niya yun. Niligawan niya. Binilhan pa niya ng cp at kung ano ano na pwedeng makakapagpasaya dun sa babaing yun. Pero ipinagpalit din siya sa iba. May naging ex din siya bago dun sa pangatlo, tinutulungan niya yun kapag may pageant. Pero nung kami na, sa una lang siya pabibo. Bandang huli, ako na ang naglalabas ng pera. Dahil bulag ako sa kanya pati buong ipon ko ibinigay ko sa kanya para makapagbayad bayad siya ng mga utang niya. Andun yung maraming dahilan. Pag kailangan niya ng pera pangmedikal, di ako humihindi kapag humihingi siya ng tulong. 3 taon akong nagtiis. Lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya na ibang iba ang turing mo sa akin kaysa dun sa mga nauna niyang ex-GFs. Ilang beses na rin niya ako ipinagkaila sa ibang tao at mga kaibigan niya. Paulit ulit kong sinasabi sa kanya kung ano yung nararamdaman. Pero kahit paulit ulit at parang sirang plaka na ako, di pa rin niya ako nuunawaan. Hindi naman ako materialistic. I only asked to be treated with kindness and love. Bandang huli, narealized ko na i was only being used para makasurvive siya. Past time lang pala ako sa kanya. Dahil base na rin sa nakausap kong babae na naging kachat niya, sex lang pala ang trip niya sa babae. :( kaya pala .
She saids she's ready to start new and won't look back after her breakup. Do I invest my time and go along or should I be caution with her? I'm confused
But wait! The guy is not going to tell you how long it’s been since his last break up. Some or most guys lie so they can get what they want. After all he could just be smashing.
You wait them out. Don't do a lot of dating, face-to-face contact, or have sex. He'll run if he wants to rush things....to meet his emotional emptiness.
mainee 35 Agreed. Thank you.
I was today yrs old when I realized the guy I'm seeing is definitely on the rebound. 1) Always mentions his ex. 2). My race is an issue. 3) Says "I love you" when it hasn't even been a full month. Doesn't make any sense. I ended it & rlly happy I did. 💯👌 Ladies get out early!!!
she knows she’s the rebound she simply doesn’t care, because she’s that desperate for attention. she makes him do and post the same things he did for me. the difference between us is i never asked him to do those for me. it still hurts tho, im disappointed in him.
I'm here now at the opposite end and I don't really know what it means... My boyfriend for 6 years who's also the father of my child moved on 5 minutes after I said I really can't do this anymore... what happened was, two weeks before I called it off official we had a huge fight over finances. he tried apologizing and when he noticed that I'm not convinced he'd start another fight which made me even more upset. he'd lay off for a few days then make contact again that's when I said I seriously can't deal with his behavior... he then posted a new girl and decided to quarantine with her... in that process he still checks up on me and it's not always about our son.
This was soooooooooo helpful - thank you!
You verbalized perfectly what I was struggling to put my finger on. 🙏
My heart broken and 💔 who told he figure out. Learned how to separate. He been apart for 8 months
Great, thank you. Would like to hear more about this subject.
P.S. I prefer when your face is close to the camera:)
P.S.2 Did you get my e-mail with a question about the possibility of making a video about long-distance relationship? Or long-distance communication? How to make him waiting for seeing me again?
My pleasure.
Ok, great feedback, thankyou!
Sure did Catie. I'm doing some more comprehensive stuff on long distance relationships coming out soon, but I'll touch on this in Ask Mark tomorrow so you can get some starting ideas!
So he didn't come to visit me. He said it makes him kinda sad, because he really does want to see me before going there. And he said that it will be exciting when we meet again after 3 months. Will see... I'm trying to be skeptical... But I already know I will suffer anyway if he ignores me. I'm just trying very hard to not fall in love so deeply and unreasonably like last time. Heh, and here comes another subject that interests me - age difference. I'll write you an e-mail.
Sorry to hear Catie you guys didn't get to catch up Katie. I'll post my response on Ask Mark tonight and hopefully it will give you some tips about keeping his interest long distance... while also giving you my thoughts, and some of the issues with long distance as a whole.
This is interesting from the other side. My ex is fearful avoidant who monkey branched to another after a mostly good relationship with me. He ran scared after expressing deep feelings for me. He wanted to be friends. Nope. He tried to downplay our relationship. Nope. I walked away. I am sure the rebound is in for a rough time. I have moved on. He still texts me occasionally, likes my posts even though I unfriended him.
We were together four years, BTW.
He was trying to date me exclusively after our 3rd date. I told him I wanted to take it slow and then later on he told me about his ex gf and how she’s been trying to get back with him. I thought they broke up like 2-3 months ago but it’s only been a month. I don’t know what to dooooo.
Omg I was a rebound 😪😰😢
What's sad is that I'm not the rebound. I'm the one he was falling in love with and got dumped because he got cold feet. Now he's in a rebound relationship but he doesn't show any passion for her and barely gives her any attention on social media. They don't post pictures together and he never likes any of her profile pictures. He's not flirty or romantic with her (at least, not publicly) like he was with me. He literally looks miserable. I mean, he's doing a horrible job of faking it on Facebook. It's so frustrating to watch because I can see that he's not happy but he has too much pride to do the work he needs to do for us to get back together and be happy. I'm not going to chase him but it's really sad to stand by and watch. He looks absolutely miserable, can't even fake a smile. It's like he's just going through the motions to say that he has somebody. It's obvious he's doing it just to fill a void. It's just crazy because with me he was all smiles, all the time. We both were.
same
...well shit
Oof im totally a rebound yeet
Dayum!! Don't want to objectify anyone but Daayum!!
We broke up then 2 weeks later he gets a rebound and blocks me in Snapchat I texted him eventually and he never mentioned once he was in a relationship he just said he’s busy
Not cool neither is it cool for men to rebound with their exes.
We have the same lounge! Great taste. Love your videos :)
Thanks so much Vanessa!
Your video helps! Good thing I wasn't dating for a long time ! I met his family and stuff thinking he wanted something serious. All he did was talks about his ex,I was supportive of him and caring. But nothing was good enough. Today he dumped me and told me I was just a rebound and played with my emotions. He told me everything was a lie. Now I might be pregnant,I'm so emotional 😭. I don't know what to do.
is it his child?
😮i hope you were not pregnant
What if he's got somebody right after a break up from the twinflame?
My 7 year relationship ,he left me for his x ,found out the whole time ...he never stopped being with her ..Total heartbreak
Wow!!! What a jerk! I'm sorry 😞
Dude your fuckin my shit up lol
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
Lol
Definitely a rebound :)))
Hey Mark! Thanks a lot for all your videos!
So you talked a lot about the breakup process women are usually going through. Is the “grieving “ process that men are going through is so different than women? If it’s is, what it’s like
Thanks :)
Oooo good question. I'll pujt it on Ask Mark. Thanks Rotem!
I think I'm a rebound, what frustrates me is he didn't show those signs. Apparently he's been single for 2 years; we were together for just 2 months and then he broke it off abruptly. After 6 weeks of breaking up he suddenly has a new gf. I really doubt that new girl is a new rebound so I think it's actually his ex, therefore that makes me the rebound... :(
Update.....Jj
@@lanaw7304 his ex went back to him and then he pursued a new girl, new girl became his gf. I'm with a new boyfriend now lol, fvck him.
I had a break up like 3 months ago. I e done a lot of dating..not looking for anything serious. That’d be dumb!! But, the guy I’m seeing most often, he experienced a divorce -ma year ago. But he talks about her too often for me. I have not mentioned my ex once! Only said the last relationship ended in Nov after daring 8 years. That’s it!!! They do share a 6 year old together. & get along great! My concern is he’s wanting something so desperately to replace her. That’s not gonna be me!! I’ve stepped back some & have asked him to as well. I want a healthy long term relationship based on me and the guy, not exes!! Each person needs a different amount of time to heal. I wanna be 100% for the man I choose eventually..not in pieces! Hold out ladies for the one!! Not just someone!!
Thanks know I know my ex is rebounding like crazy!
Oh sheesh! Now you know what to do next. Thanks for sharing, Bluebb89!
My ex fiance of 5years dumped me for his ex that cheated on him. Me & him still live together I feel like he still loves me he worrys about what I'm wearing and he touches me. He says he wants to burn or get rid of the clothes I wear......his gf.....has been on my social media trying to get my attention and creeping and she blows his phone up when he's at home or by me lol
LOL! All but #2, and I say that because they just met. But I promise you all of the other 4 apply to his new relationship. He is already "in love" and moved in together less than 2 months after ending our 10 year relationship AND he was still playing games with us both until he chose her. I know it is only for the companionship, he told me so.
I just dated a womderful beautiful cool sexy woman for two months, starting three months after the end of my previous relationship. I thought I was ready to move on but When I found out a couple weeks ago that my ex had monkey branched 10 days after our breakup, it re-opened my wounds and exposed to me and the new lady that I just wasn't able to give her my best. I feel awful. She deserves so much better than to be part of the emotional shrapnel from my breakup. I'd reach out to her to say I'm sorry, but she's broken hearted and I don't want to be cruel.
Please, guys. Jump into the pain after your breakup. Get through it alone or with friends, family, therapist. Be absolutely sure you're ready. No one deserves to be a rebound.
Hi , Mark how are you honestly I'm addicted already to your video's . My day is not complete without listening to your previous video's . Keep it up you help me a lot 😊 . I learned to much things from those video's that I seen . Anyway keep it up take care and God bless you .
Arw thankyou Marivic! So great to have you on my channel and lots of content to come for you :)
hi mark,im dinah i have been dating this guy for 2 months and im quite worried about the way he is sooooo jealous ,cause it really scares me of and i tried talkng to him but he always accuses me of cheating and all sorts of things,is it normal fr a guy to be too jealous that he doesn't want his girlfriend to have any sort of friends be it guy or girl?
Straight to Ask Mark Dinah!
My friend me and him have just started to talk but he had a girlfriend and than they broke up and than got back together she broke up with him Bc of a joke and now he is single but than he said he had a crush on me and I told him to take a break from dating and he said I’m going to take a break from dating for a month or two I told him he needs to take a longer than a month or two to find him self I told him that sound like a rebound he just doesn’t wanna be alone for Christmas because he said he saved so much money for Christmas to get matching outfits with his ex before they broke up and I keep trying to tell him that he just needs to take a break and hopefully he listens but thank you for the advice
That was a very smart thing you did. You didn't allow him to use you or take advantage of you. Not saying he would purposely break your heart, but it's a possibility if he is still hung up on his ex.
I use to be pretty good friends with this guy that I met through mutual friends, we both were going through a bad break up, once I just end a relationship the last thing that I want is to immediately jump into another relationship, I just can't. But my friend the more we hung out the more he started to like me. Even his friends told me that he did. He tried intiating sex a few times too. But we both were still hung up on our ex's, I definitely knew he was bc he was always talking about her, wanting her back. I've been there before and got played for a fool bc I didnt pay attention to the red flags.
But I told him that we should just stay friends, and that's it.
Mmmh shit, I feel like my friend is trying to do this with me.
We are very good friends and he is in a relationship now that he says is toxic. He was in a toxic relationship before he got together with the girlfriend he has now. Due to all this he has been quite emotionally distraught I have been there for him for the last year and tried to support him, but now he is flirting with me and dropping HUGE hints.
I kinda get the feeling that he does not really love me, but more the idea that a relationship with me would be good. Your video has made me even more sure of that, thank you!!!
you are amazing, I love watching your videos and see what signs I messed when I was younger.
It's been two years and hes still hung up on an ex that cheated and divorced him!
He still talks about his ex wife with so much anger
Women doing same to men
It's nearly 5 years and still hasn't moved on emotionally
He will need closure from that past relationship or seek help. Part of him still attached to that relationship especially if it was a really strong connection. If he continues living in the denial of whatever he had back then is truly over, if he still hope he can get that back in another person, it's a problem. Cause everyone is different and unique. He will miss out on a chance of experiencing a new flavour in the relationship he has.
They broke up 3 months ago and went on a road trip a couple weeks ago just to talk. Now they talk when we are out, when she calls he hides his phone and says it’s his mom 💀
What if a guy who shows 0 signs of not being able to let go of his ex/ ours was a rebound relationship at all? He did not bring up about her, would gladly answer if i had questions about their relationship but acted normal and didn't show any extreme feelings at all, no comparison, no hard feelings, was genuinely attentive and happy when we were together, broke up with his ex 10 months ago and had been keep moving our relationship forward? This guy i had been seeing for about 5 months just broke up with me out of the blue. Just few hours before he decided that, he was still being really attentive and fully invested in our relationship..... next morning he woke up just told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, needed to work on himself and said i deserved better. I was shocked since i did not see that coming at all ( I am the kind of person who carefully filtered out all the possible signs of unavailable guys before I start to invest and let my guards down and obviously he did not show ANY of those signs that he was still hung up on his ex). I am usually pretty rational and takes things at face value but my intuition keeps telling me this is not the reason :( something is very off