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The Drinker Fixes... Luke Skywalker
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- Today I'm taking on my greatest challenge yet as I try to fix Luke Skywalker from The Last Jedi, turning him into something resembling the hero we once knew.
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I really don't think Luke can be saved because he depends on the narrative and the narrative is a piece of shit.
You are a scholar and a gentleman, sir.
Critical Drinker needs to acknowledge his white male privilege cause he keeps bashing movies & series that has leading female characters.
"you came here in this thing? you're braver than I thought".
holy shit man your version of skywalker is amazing!
Yoda: "You will face an evil that can crush one's soul."
Luke: "The Dark Side?"
Yoda: "No, Disney."
😀😀
🐭 BOO! 👻
😆 fucking brilliant docsamsun198 👊
yup th-cam.com/video/MY8Nfzcn1qQ/w-d-xo.html
Yoda would have said: "Face you will, evil to crush one's soul!"
Luke line here_
Yoda: "ahahahhhahahah... cough cough cough , No. Disney."
@average joe I wonder when will they openly get on the pedo train (hot issue right now) splicing that shit into kids movies and stuff.
Not only does this fix Luke’s arch, it makes Rey an actual protagonist rather than a Marry Sue and Snoke a formidable and consequential villain.
*arc
ark
@@EddieFunkowitz Nope.
Very true
It would help Rey be less Mary Sue, but not entirely fix. Rey is a Mary Sue not only for her strength in the Force, but also for basically being better than the entire rest of the cast at everything (fixing stuff, flying the Falcon, etc.) and for rarely if ever actually being challenged. She's successful at everything she tries like it's automatic.
The thing is, this doesn't just fix Luke and his arc, it also partially fixes those for Kylo, Leia, Snoke and a few others. Very impressive. The Force is strong in the Drinker.
Mega true
@@adonaimelles2317 Omg. I don't even know what to make of this. Skimming it it appears to be full of a) typos and grammatical errors and b) some sort of misguided, misdirected fanboy rage that my short little comment doesn't warrant. I'm not gonna waste time trying to make sense of it. It just looks like defending bad storytelling to me, and your comment being borderline incomprehensible doesn't exactly give you a strong case.
@@adonaimelles2317 Where do you work for disney?
@@adonaimelles2317 It's incredibly hard to read something that doesn't feature full stops (aka periods). If you want to have a civil debate about why you disagree with the original poster that's fine, but if you're not going to write properly I'm personally not going to waste my time decoding a giant meandering sentence nor justify it with a response, as was basically already said before. Not to tell you how to live but please, learn how to write.
@@adonaimelles2317 Dude, FYI I'm not bothering to read these, I skim them quickly and go "meh", so save yourself the trouble and go argue with other SW fans who give a damn. Cheers.
Honestly, the whole "He lost everything" argument loses all ground when you realize that he lost everything in A New Hope and yet still continued to help
Love you post. You just wrote in one sentence what I would have taken half a page to write. And you make more sense. Good job.
Well, he did not lose everything in TLJ or when Ben Solo killed everyone. There was still Han, Leia and others. In New Hope, he trully lost everything. And when you are at low, it does not destroy you anymore if you have been in a lower low.
Not to mention, he didn’t lose everything. Leia was still there, Han was still around, Chewie was too, and even C3 too, and he just bailed on all of them. That’s not Luke Skywalker at all. If he had some reason to be in exile it could at least be justified, but no he just said “lol fuck this.”
That was the fucking point of the OG films. It was a story about loss, making mistakes, learning and rising from them, going on in a time of darkness because there is always hope. Leia fucking lost her own homeworld in the first movie, yet she still acted as a leader to the Rebels. Luke lost his family and his mentor in the first movie. The Rebellion had a massive defeat against the Empire in ESB. Luke made a huge mistake by rushing off to save his friends while he was still unprepared; which led everyone (especially himself) to further danger. Luke saw the good in his father, and promised himself he would never turn to the darkness. Han Solo became a changed man, from caring only about himself, he grew to care for others especially Luke and Leia. These characters lost so much, did a lot of mistakes, yet grew and bettered themselves. Then years later the sequels f'ed them up.
true true
I’m just going to consider this canon
Works for me.
Yup
Nah! I don't like. I also did not like the three new Disney Wars. I would rather have the new Disney Wars counted as non-canon. Then make 3 new movies that pick sometime off the originals, done right of course.
Im gonna say fuck the sequals, I'll take my chances with dark empire and heir to the empire.
exactly my thoughts. This really put me at ease after the sequels messed up my childhood memories of star wars
I wanna watch a Star Wars movie written by The Critical Drinker
better than Rian Johnson
Or maybe the whole of EFAP writing a Star Wars movie
I'd pay money
@@yankeedoodle6134 Anyone who had even watched the originals could have written it better than that twat.
I'd pay to see it.
*LET'S NOT FORGET, THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS TAKING PLACE LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY AFTER WHAT HAPPENS IN TFA. REY FOUND OUT JEDI WERE REAL YESTERDAY. WHAT A SHIT SHOW*
Its like it was written by school children.
@RaceRed5.0Stang I disagree. The force awakens works perfectly fine in my opinion, in terms of plot and character at least (Finn is definitely the highlight of that movie). Rey being overpowered wasn't yet that much of an issue when Kylo was clearly wounded and not focused on his task because of his recent encounter with Han Solo.
There are some issues with it, mainly with how it re-uses plotelements from the originals. However, it' still a decent film.
The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, however, had major issues throughout, with plot, character arc, and simple logical coherence. It's a major shitshow, and I can perfecty understand the fanbase wanting to get these films out of canon.
@RaceRed5.0Stang Agreed TFA was a reboot/retread of ANH because Jar Jar Abrams is a talentless hack who doesn't have the writing or directing chops to have the Republic start out from a position of strength. So he just decided to have the Original Characters become failures and completely forget all the lessons they learned throughout their character arcs from the OT. Allowing for the Imperial Remnant to be stronger than the New Republic Just so the film would be in his range ability to complete
@@RedFloyd469 Oh, come on... Like all the other characters in TFA, Finn makes no sense. He starts off the film rebelling against his superior officers because he doesn't want to kill people (that part makes fine sense!) and then what, turns right around and starts murdering his former brothers, who have basically been brainwashed since they were children, instead of say, seeking them out and converting them? Then he very sensibly wants to run from the First Order, but instead decides to stay because...why? He's known Rey for all of 10 minutes, and her motivations aren't exactly clear either. If the film spent a bit more time developing the characters and their motivations, it could have worked, but all it really has is some action sequences and loose plot elements that were basically ripped from the original trilogy, and some lightsaber fights that make no sense in the context of everything that came before. It's a pile of garbage.
@@SteelMoments I was always very bothered by Finn's having any social skills whatever. I mean, how does a kid who's been brainwashed and trained as a weapon for his entire life even have the concepts to say "have you got a boyfriend? Cute boyfriend?" So silly.
This guy literally makes a better arc for luke and a better version of the last jedi than Disney could do in almost 2 years...
Ya, and he did it in 2 hours!
its like the drinker himself says; "if a drunk asshole like me can flesh this out in a couple of hours, what the hell is the actual goal of those idiots in charge of this fu€×in mess?"
God, this would've made the movie so much better.
It shows how easy it could have been doesn't it
Let’s be honest tho
To TRULY fix this thing, you’d have to mostly start the whole thing over
"the way the character is constantly downplayed, downtrodden and disrespected, leaving us with a bitter, broken and defeated man with no dignity, purpose or agency."
Reminds me of 'Picard'.
Funny how this keeps happening to all our favourite heroes, isn't it?
And to serve the same agenda: Tear down and destroy all the straight white male heroes of our youth.
Dayum, you nailed that right on the head, I read this and said out loud' oooooh shiiiit' in realization because if how true it is
@Főfasírozó
True
True
Also reminds me of Ash in Ash vs. Evil Dead. Watched the entirety of season 1 and I honestly don't remember a single moment where Ash actually did anything cool. His entire character went from being somewhat brash and overconfident, but ultimately reliable and even noble to being an utter joke of a human being.
In the original movies (and particularly in Army of Darkness) we see him being the butt of the joke sometimes when one of his character flaws comes back to haunt him ("Klaatu ... Verata ... N....") and delivering the jokes in others "You're in charge of Jack and shit, and jack left town."
I won't be watching any of the other seasons. It was like it was written by someone who hated not only the character, but also hated the people who liked the character.
How to fix Luke: The reason he went to the island is he saw the Sequels and was so disappointed that he just left and didn’t care
You mean the prequels.
No the prequels are far better than this garbage even with their flaws.
How to fix Luke: decanonize Disney Trilogy and reinstate the Thrawn Trilogy as the true Sequel Trilogy.
@@Darkness1984 don't tell me you like the nostalgic critic and redlettermedia,they suck bro
@@impopularmano3394 If Redlettermedia sucks, I'm a happy sucker for life.
I'm mad at you for not having written The Last Jedi. This 21 minute video gave me what the entire sequel trilogy couldn't. A respectful closure for my childhood heroes.
So a drunk Scotsman managed to fix the entire movie in the space of a few hours.
I fucking applaud you, Drinker. Have another subscriber.
Think he needs another drink instead as to help him get through this shit stain on the star wars series I suppose you could call a movie if your feeling generous. (Talking about The base movie, not his remake).
That's a redundancy
Haha well said
Yes, he should be be a Hollywood screener
@@xephael3485 Did you pay any attention to what he said? There is no way he could work in Hollywood. The guy is paying to much attention to plot, character development, conflict and not enough time to lens flair and women being stronger than men. Not once did he mention making Luke a bumbling buffun. Next thing you know you will expect him to have Finn be a component military man trained to fight and understand military tactics. Face it the Drinker is doomed no way can he ever hope to reach the low expectations of Hollywood. His dog has a better chance.
The reason mark hamill looks so unhappy in that shot with rian at the premiere is: that was the first time hamill learned that luke skywalker was killed off in the film. He didn't know about it until he was sat in the theatre seeing it with everyone else. Rian even confirms this at some point, saying he only put in the death scene at the last minute on a whim. This is also the reason Luke just fades away instead of anything happening; they did that in post having not originally intended it. Can you imagine not giving a fuck about your film this hard? It was clearly designed to piss off older fans and make room for new ones.
This hurts... :(
Piss older fans Rian Jonson succeed indeed but he makes room for no one. Star Wars Merchandise are plummeted, the actors are spitting on the new trilogy. The only thing that works now is the Mandalorian which panders to the old fanbase, go figure.
Wow.... that’s fucked
Good god... I was wondering why he looked so stunned (on the verge of tears, perhaps?) in that shot. Mr. Hamill deserves better. Nauseating.
@@jasonfarbo5109 I especially feel bad for Hamill because he really invested in the fans a lot. It must've killed him to see that, he really believes the whole real life mythos of the films and stuff.
Funny thing is, Rian Johnson's plot for The Last Jedi is:
*"Luke tries to kill Kylo Ren because he sees that he'll turn evil in the future, which is the catalyst event which turns him evil in the future"*
...is exactly the same plot of Rian Johnson's previous movie Looper, where:
*"Bruce Willis tries to kill a kid because he sees that he'll turn evil in the future, which is the catalyst event which turns the kid evil in the future"*
...which sickens me.
He literally used the exact same story event two movies in a row.
And the worst part is... nobody noticed.
Brain waves connected
Believe me. You’re not the only one who noticed this. I watched looper (and that piece of shit movie brick) while gearing up for TLJ. I never liked his work on BB so I was worried the film would suck and it did. But I noticed he had just done the exact same thing he had done in Looper.
To be fair, how many people even watched looper?
I noticed... but no one believed me... WHY DIDN"T THEY BELIEVE ME! WHY?!?!?!?!
Got a lot of apologies and free beer a year later. I could have written a better trilogy than the Disney one. Wish they'd give me a million bucks or so.
-shrug--never seen looper, never was interested in round heads work.. Now I'm anti-interested in his work.
I'd love to see Mark Hamill's reaction to seeing this. I think it's brilliant.
Agreed
he’s obviously love it
Like mark hamill has said in interviews his feeling on how Luke was written and joking says that the version of Luke in episode eight isn’t Luke but whole different character yes he is right the real Luke would never be a coward he would instantly do what he does later on and confront snoke without a doubt.
He would call Drinker a misgynist bigot
@@EventualWarlord sad but true. I never really had an ounce of faith in Jake Skywalker
Killing Snoke would only make sense if they had the balls to actually make Kylo and his knights the villains. Bringing Palpatine was the most desperate and dumb move I've seen from a major filmmaker company in my life
Joao Leonardo that or they could have made darth Jarjar Binks true, would have won a lot of points.
@@hitandruncommentor I mean, it sounds fun from a meme perspective, but in practice that would have been painfully stupid on a rewatch.
Though to the OC: I don't think they could credibly make Kylo and the Knights of Ren the main villains from just TFA and TLJ. It needs a lot of changes to make that a workable possibility. Like, maybe the tiniest bit of fear?
They killed off everyone they shouldn't. Kept alive those they couldnt. And brought back those who were already dead!
@@IYPITWL And that pretty much sums up everything wrong with the new trilogy.
Yep. Makes me so glad I boycotted TROS and all other Disney films after they bamboozled me into the theaters with TLJ. They fooled me once and never again, so shame on them.
All "Toxic fans" really wanted was one last chance for Luke to be a hero. One look at our childhood hero, at his oldest, wisest, and in some ways strongest going absolutely wild with the Force to give us the tiny bit of satisfaction. That could've been ALL you needed to make the trilogy not shit in the fans' eyes. Not objectively good, but at least not hate-inducing. And Disney shills couldn't even do that.
@Joe Blow or Yoda in AotC.
I think you said something there. It's been a long way down since 2012.We know now how much these people always hated George Lucas all along. And there are people out there who have been only too glad to spit their hatred and, above all, their contempt, for the fans who kept it all going.
and now thanks to a world wide virus Disney is loosing more money, Ha bloody Ha!!!! Rian can suck it
Kazik Ek letthe rat and his little "kingdom" BURN! Im glad disney is getting their just rewards with all of this. Lettem fail.
Exacly, Just like Obi Wan did, as long as he went down swinging, most people would have been happy. I would have had him raise the xwing though to beat the falcon back to where the battle was ;)
9:00 - "She's frightened and intimidated by him..."
Our invincible Mary Sue intimidated by a _man?_ Can't have that.
Drinker, this is why your fixes don't work.
She don't need no man!
The Force is FEMALE!!!
yet youjo senki can literally name a character "Mary Sioux" and make her a compelling villain
Drinking is always just a temporary fix.
@@GreyDeathVaccine That's what all sluts say.
Incredible how a Scottish drinker is able to make a better story than a professional writer
He needs to submit an application for Disney. That way, he can actually make a difference.
@@Wolffman109 with his views on DEI trend (not much different then my own btw) he won't even pass the CV screening at Pissney.
@@Haereticuz What's DEI? What's CV screening? What are you saying?
He IS a professional writer, has published the ryan frakes series. Worth the read.
Honestly, If you’re in a pub, would you rather hear a drunk Scot tell stories, or a jaded corporate shill?
It's almost like someone who actually cares about the source material could write a better story than overpaid hacks who just want their names attached to the latest summer blockbuster. Who knew?
*in a couple of hours...
Nah, that can't be right.
:)
@@wowt lol
Disney writers: _"that's complicated to our little minds"_
Entire LucalFilms department is gone. Reduced, to atoms
disney writers don't have minds who are you trying to kid
Diversity and Dinosaurs, but DIVERSITY is written two times and double underlined.
@@francisstaines228 dUHveRsIteE
'DEMOGRAPHICS!'
"The Drinker fixes... Himself another drink"
Von Splatterblast lol
May the Drinker ❤️ your comment
With some ice.
Von Splatterblast If he's taking on Star Wars The Last Jedi he'll need it.
I'll drink to that
"I hate you with the dark fire of a million exploding neutron stars"
I'm pretty sure gaming magic 13 said that about Toy Story 4
"I hate you with the dark fire of a million exploding Neutron stars."
I wish I could summon up that amount of anger over it anymore. But like Luke, I am tired and just want it all to go away.
Agreed, furrymessiah. (I can still briefly work up that loathing after I've been enjoying the Old EU, and then I hear some Tism in the real world praise that shit heap of a movie. It flares up briefly like a hypernova.) Though I think the Drinker's sad, empty "go away now" at the end captures my emotional state better than anything else.
Maybe Disney will use this crisis to change out the folk at LucasFilm in the name of budget cuts, and we might possibly see them hire some capable creators in their place... they'll be desperate for more money at the end of this. I hope they either leave the corpse of Star Wars completely alone to finish rotting... or they're so desperate for money they actually take the time to find the right people for the job. *cough* Timothy Zahn *cough*
@@AzureKnight2 Personally, I'd love to see an adaptation of the Jedi Academy Trilogy. But since that comes after the events of Zahn's novels, I hold little hope of ever seeing that come to fruition.
@@furrymessiahAgain, I agree completely. But I think a good writer could balance the two. Take Luke's arc from the Jedi Academy Trilogy, take everyone else's from the Thrawn Trilogy. And, of course, Luke and Mara's storyline from Thrawn and blending it into Jedi Academy.
I have a prophecy: One day, when woke feminist garbage rots away and the hard times begin to swing back, aided by the hard work of real dedicated fans turned professional. We will get amazing movies of the old republic and when courage peaks some intrepid soul will redo these movies and remake them good.
@@MrMudslap I hope you're right.
Ironically, the Drinker also rescued Rey and Kylo's characters too.
Not ironically, but obviously. Characters exist in relation to each other and it's relations between them that makes them who they are. Luke was trash in TLJ because he became trash to people around him - to Kylo, whom he tried to murder, to Leia, whom he abandoned, and to Rey, whom he disappointed upon being known better. Once he becomes a failing, but ultimately deeply caring master and uncle to Ben, a loving brother who exiled himself in order to protect his sister from himself, and a resourceful teacher to Rey, who gives her important lessons about the Force and saves her with his smart use of his power when needed, he is suddenly once again the character we knew, not perfect, but always striving and capable of tremendous feats. And in reverse, Kylo stops being an emo deus ex machina to fuck people up or being fucked up, depending on what's needed, while Rey stops being a Mary Sue.
Rey etc are fundamentally poor characters and Daisy Ridley is the wrong actress. Ultimately you can't fix the story to the entire new saga is awful. It should have been Jacen, Jaina, and Ben Solo. Jaina is the hero jedi, her brother falls to the dark side, and Ben can be a lot like Han. Or you can take a variation. Either way Luke is their uncle and it's a brilliant way to transition from Skywalker to Solo. Yes i've taken a little from the EU but they can strike in a new direction. Either way my idea is the one they should have gone with. Oh and out goes Daisy Ridley and in comes someone with emotional range and not flat. Lilly Collins or someone like it.
@@JohnnyZenith I agree with you, except for Daisy Ridley. Her acting was the only thing that didn't make me outright hate Rey as a character. I feel bad for her. She should have gotten better material. TLJ should have been her moment to shine. Instead, they doubled down on making Rey a stereotype and not a character.
As far as I'm concerned, the EU is canon. It's odd to me that they peddle this false narrative of wanting great female protagonists, and yet ignore Jaina and her aunt Mara Jade.
@@JohnnyZenith
The problem with your idea is that Ben Solo is basically the Chinese knockoff of Jacen Solo already.
Ehh... It still leaves Finn's character ruined. I prefer more Uniquenameosaurus' take on the subject, where he has Rey go evil chasing after Kylo, and Finn go to train with Luke, such that, in the last film, he manages to redeem them both.
Someone send this to Mark Hamill I’m sure he’ll love this narrative
It's far worst from what we got. While I love his videos, being a critic and a writer are two different things. It is way more boring and predictable, but apart from that there are things that would anger the fans even more:
- Luke lashing upon Rey is out of character. He has abandoned everyone and tries to find a way to get rid of Snoke's manipulation. Someone with a his father lightsaber in a non aggressive position would not be an immediate threat to him. Makes zero sense.
- Luke's mind being manipulated by Snoke is such a bad and lazy mechanic. Reminds of everyone trying tofix ROTS by saying palpatine killed Padme with the force to turn Anakin into the dark side. Those kinds of stuff are so lazy and uninteresting. Makes the characters lose alltheir depth, because the bad guy isdoing it to them.
- Rey being angry for Luke not wanting to train her and lashing out with a force pulse or whatever is very childlish. It would look so stupid and out of character. Also Luke seeing that would have no interest in training her afterwards. Probably tell her to go see a mental therapist or something.
- The whole Luke being force projected into Snoke's Throne Room must be the worst and craziest plot I have ever heard from Star Wars, it makes no sense from a million points of view. How did Luke supposedly landed on the ship and made his way to the Throne Room without getting captured? Why didnt Snoke know it wasn't the original Luke? How did Rey simply left the Throne room with all the guards that they had to fight in the original version, and the rest of the stormtroopers? In the original version the ship was in ruins so it made sense that she could find a hangar for Chewie to land on and take her, but in this version it is absolute madness. The way he imagined this scene was Luke appearing out of nowhere and everyone being like ok of course you are here Luke, I don't see a problem. Hope you are enjoying your VIP pass into the First Order's ships. Snoke suddently falls asleep after ordering Kylo to kill Rey and remains at the background. It's so stupid I can't believe he says this shit seriously.
- It completely destroys all the scenes that made this movie enjoyable. The barrage of AT ATs to Luke, the spaceship ram, Kylo and Luke in the middle of an empty dessert fighting, Kylo Ren's betrayal to Snoke and cutting him in half and the fight with the guards afterwards, while giving us some lightsaber duels, which frankly we have seen a 12 times already.
- His whole story arc is a sad ripoff from Empire Strikes back. It resembles it more than The Force Awakens resembles The New Hope and that's saying something. While the only thing I agree with him is that Rey should have trained with Luke for more time than she did, the wrapping of the situation is lazy, boring and out of place.
Sorry Drinker, you have my respect, but writing cohesive, interesting and compelling plots is very hard. None of you are better than people being paid millions to do this job no matter how hard you tell that to yourself.
@@crazycodkiller good points though this version would be way more acceptable then the mess I saw a few years ago.
crazycodkiller You say that to be a critic and a writer are too completely different things, which they are, but I guess you don’t know that the Drinker is a published author. And even though some of the points you made were true, this obviously would not be how the drinker would write the last jedi if was doing it from scratch. The point of the video is to work with what he’s got with the movie plot, while changing the character. And if he actually wrote the movie, it would have of course been way better than this and what Rian Johnson did. You can have your opinions but what I think, and what most people think, is that a version of Luke lashing out shutting himself out for a protective reason makes more sense than shutting himself out just because he’s depressed and wants to die. So even though it definitely isn’t perfect, I think the drinker’s version is better.
AEIOU UOIEA If you don’t have a reasoning for the things you said, don’t bother answering.
Fan fiction is widely considered incompetent and lazy, it is used as a way to describe bad scripts(it’s so bad it feels like fan fiction).
Also you probably didnt understand anything of the things I said. The mental therapist part is a joke of how absurd that reaction would be from Luke. And how does the throne room scene he described would even work if what I wrote is so stupid?
@@crazycodkiller "It completely destroys all the scenes that made this movie enjoyable."
No.
Wow. You made Luke's running away and hiding on an island, cutting himself off from the force, seem like a very noble and sacrificial deed. It does seem like something Luke would do. Not to mention it makes Snoke look like a more intimidating character. If Snoke could turn Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, son of the chosen one, to the dark side, something not even his own father Darth Vader could do, then that guy's a threat. Love love love love love your re-write.
It just sounds stupid. Luke should be a walking tank of destruction at this point. How could the guy who redeemed his father fall to influence by some stupid Sith Lord?
Who would win the script war:
- Disney with billions of money to spend on writers and directors
- our boy, the critical beverage consumer with a few hours of time
The ironic thing is, if Disney had used CD’s script ideas they might not have lost a few billion dollars to disappointed/lost fans.
Think about it, the MCU (honestly, i couldn’t even compare star wars to MCU. before the sequels i held star wars to a high regard) managed to have the peak of storytelling near the end. Infinity War (maybe even Endgame) have to be one of the best superhero movies, next to The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, and Joker. If the ending to a saga based on comicbook superheroes which is filled with snarky humour is better than the ending to a 40+ year old saga... They’re doing something wrong.
Endgame made more money than Infinity War, and even TROS. Imagine how much money Star Wars EP9 could have made if it was good. 3 billion? It really sucks to think about the wasted potential Star Wars had.
CD could write a better trilogy wasted that's far better than these hacks.
A B This solution doesn’t get Luke either sadly... If he just drawn the blade then he can just explain to Ben what happend. ”The most powerful force user I have sensed tried to control me.” Ben has no reason not to belive this. And the power to control or influence that well over distance is too OP. Why not influence Ben directly? You could kill Luke if he did that. Sorry but this is not a good solution. It doesn’t really get Luke or the force. The best thing would be to scrap the whole plot and start over from scratch. Is it better than what we got? Yes, but it’s still not a good story or plot.
He is drunk and made a better story than paid writers...
Well he is an actual paid writer ...
He is a published novelist...
Critical Drinker is a professional author ie a paid writer himself for fiction. And he almost certainly came up with this and wrote the script in his own time while thinking straight. He might have been drunk while recording but I doubt he came up with it while drunk.
He is a drunk writer
Want to know a secret.. Shhhhh 🤫, he isn't really drunk 🤭, it's all an act 😁 what a fine joke eh. 🤣
Still amazes me how this one film had:
1. One of the most complete, horrifying and depressing character assassinations of a beloved hero from any IP in any medium.
2. One of the most idiotic and boring 'chase scenes' run by the most idiotic leadership (on both sides) because of the mostly idiotic/agenda driven writing, Directing and Producing.
3. One of the most pointless 'side plots' every put on film starring a supposed main character, one of the most annoying 'diversity hire' characters, on a quest for something they don't achieve and wouldn't have mattered anyway. It's literally just a 30 minute long hole in the middle of the movie.
Throw in lots of deus-ex-machina plot twists with established in-universe technology and the Force, a completely wasted Big Bad, almost no continuity with the previous movie (or it's successor as it turns out)... It's pretty impressive for this one movie to be this colossal a screw-up on so many levels. And almost all of it was there in the script, which should have been thrown in the garbage the minute it landed on a certain person's desk. But her malignant agenda made her blind to how incompetent the storytelling was.
I was watching Mr. Baseball with Tom Selleck on a sports channel recently. Hadn't seen it before. Movie opens with his character at the plate, wiffing on pitch after pitch. 3 strikes, 4 strikes, 5 strikes, and on and on. The Umpire won't let him leave the plate. So he keeps swinging and keeps missing. Then he wakes up and realizes it's all a nightmare. That's what The Last Jedi is, one strike after another going on and on long after you'd say to any other movie "You're OUT!", but it just keeps swinging and wiffing on plot threads, characters, story arcs, themes, continuity, fan loyalty and any degree of respect for the fans, it's actors or it's own IP.
But it's not a nightmare any of us can wake up from.... So sad.
Someone should have lobbed a "SHUUTO" in the writers direction.
Jar JAr's SWs still amazes you?
Of course you can wake up from it. You can simply ignore TLJ or, even better, use elements which work to make a better version of it. Trust me, I've been doing this ever since Star Trek 2009 blew up Romulus(...yeah) and Warhammer Fantasy got killed off by a simple backstab(...fuck yeah lol).
Ignorance, sometimes, is a bliss. That's EXACTLY WHY the original Jedi Code makes sense why the new post Odan version is a horrible crap. "Ignorance, yet knowledge" NOT "Knowledge, no ignorance"(wtf that statement IS IGNORANT!).
Pretty much
The thing is, Luke Skywalker has always been one of the movie characters that I have always identified with the most. The fact that he's a guy never made me feel like I couldn't identify with him. It was his actual character traits, personality, and beliefs that made him a relatable person to me who I felt I could aspire to be like when I watched the original trilogy as a kid.
That's because the people who can't indentify themselves with someone only if they happen to look exactly like them are shallow, vacuus and superficial people who care only about what someone's looking like. I found that as father, Sarah Connor was very relatable because that's how I wish I can act and be if my kids were put in great danger. Even someone who doesn't have kids can imagine what they do in a similar situation.
That’s because these people who write these characters only see surface level things, they don’t care about creating complex characters and respecting the legacy of classics. They only care about projecting themselves onto the material they write
Getting chills listening to a better narrative that could have been for Luke. Adopting this as Canon.
This is not what the good side of the force was supposed to be - Han Solo and Leia are divorced and miserable. Luke is bitter and a drunken old man. They killed the heroes and twisted them into villains and then made Mary Sue the one to fix everything by getting everyone woke.
@@ironwolfgaming9632 indeed. At first I liked seeing Han getting up to his old tricks but then it dawned on me that it's a huge step back for his character. We already saw him developing gradually from jaded loner to trusted friend and leader. It was sad to see he'd seemingly thrown away the roots he'd spent 3 movies developing.
When a drunk Scotsman can do a better job fixing a flawed movie than a legion of script doctors.
Well, those so-called writers all work for a Mickey Mouse outfit. So of course they can only make shite.
P Infinity War.
Of course, all the script doctors were under orders to denigrate and assassinate the character of Luke Skywalker, not tell a story that made sense. Had The Drinker's script been handed to Lucasfilm, it would have been ripped up by Kuntleen Kennedy like Nancy Pelosi ripping up Trump's State of the Union speech.
The sad part is that there were no script doctors. Kennedy, in her all too finite wisdom, took Rian Johnson's first draft and used it. That's right, she green lite the first draft of a script without anyone looking over it! If she didn't wield outrage culture like a weapon she would've been shown the door for that.
Never underestimate a drunk Scotsman.
James Cameron: "I had the Titanic arrive safely in New York Harbor to subvert people's expectations."
If Rian Johnson had made Titanic it would have been "You thought The Titanic would sink like it did in real life but I subverted your expectations by having it so the ship didn't sink and nobody died. Now tell me what a genius I am and accuse anybody who doesn't like it of being too stupid to understand it please."
And it's captain was female.
The Titanic DID arrive safely in New York Harbor in "Ghostbusters II", (1989). The harbor employee at the dock (played by Cheech Martin) says "Better late than never!" lol
And then it crashes and sinks, because it was co-directed by m night shyamalan.
@@davidharrison7014 Yeah and we saw what Ghostbusters did with strong women.
LOST MONEY!
Watching these "drinker fixes" videos finally started the healing process for me. I'm still scarred, but healing. Thank you drinker
This was a brilliant re-write. If only this was the movie we got.
Better then we got for sure OJ Star Wars hire this guy:)
I actually thought he was summarizing the movie for a moment and was thinking “hey this isn’t half bad, why all the hate?” Lol forgive me
No it was a slightly different garbage fire. Making Luke a paranoid moron isn't an improvement. In fact, it isn't that much different from what Rian did. Irrationally attacking an ally who brings him a weapon is if anything even more stupid than trying to murder his nephew because he had a scary vision.
@@Camdenandroid Agreed, but still this is pretty decent for rough draft, and anything feels like masterclass, after watching the actual movie.
Nothing more to add to this. Drinker at his best .
I’ll pay again to see this in a “the Drinker’s cut” of the movie, twice.
IM WITH YOU AND I WILL BUY THE POPCORN
Borja Killjoy with CGI in a decade we could make the drinkers cut a reality.
I'll join that. Even if I have to break quarantine and drive six states away.
I'd give it an Oscar, if that award still meant anything at all these days
You payed?
Mark Hamill needs to see this video. Would probably bring a tear to his eye.
I think it would do the same for many viewers. I got misty eyed near the end for a bit.
It sure brought a tear to my eye T_T
I did shed some tears. Drinker should have written the bloody screenplays.
Yeah, Luke isolating himself because he was a danger to those around him and travelling to the first Jedi temple to learn how to fight off Snoke's mind tricks was so good. The script writers had all the answers laid out in front of them yet were completely blind to it all.
The fact this alternate storyline rerails Snoke as much as Luke makes me happy beyond words.
In fact I'd be kind of interested in a trilogy-wide Drinker Fixes...for Snoke, just to see how this plot thread would play out. It was a criminal waste of Andy Serkis and a genuinely eerie antagonist.
Yeah, he was such an impotent nothing of a villain. They set him up as this ominous, mysterious, and powerful figure and then he did nothing but sit in that chair and then die.
Imagine if they brought back Ellen Ripley for the next Alien atrocity, and they pulled with her what they did to Luke Skywalker. Instead of being brave, resourceful, and fiercely badass, they made her a passive and weak coward who now just lives in fear of the inevitable xenomorph invasion.
Then a young, clueless dude shows up at her doorstep, having fought one alien yesterday after finding out they're real literally only days earlier. And we watch as he mansplains to her why she's all wrong, and begs for her help while she sneers at him, spouting defeatist and nihilistic garbage. Then we find out that she had sold out to the Weyland-Yutani Corporation and was the one who let the face-huggers loose on Newt and Hicks. And in the end, she dies needlessly, accomplishing nothing of substance.
All of it just to "subvert expectations" held by decades-long fans and to push a loaded political message. People would be pissing their panties over the injustice. And rightly so.
They never understood: We weren't angry because of Rey; nobody cared about her.
It was always about Luke.
My god, that was good. Well done, sir.
No, they understood alright, that's why they destroyed Luke, so that we had no choice but to care about Rey.
I await your novel on this tale good sir. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Brilliant comparison, almost makes me appreciate Prometheus and Covenant.
Jack Scumbo These mostly come from Disney....mostly....
20 years from now people will still remember luke skywalker, han solo and princess leia. But rey, finn and poe will long be forgotten. Thats how good the original star wars were. They touched an entire generation.
I think the only character that has the chance to be remembered for more than 2 years from now is Kylo Ren, which is the only one who got something resembling a character arc, but it all depends on what they do post-sequels with him.
The others are so shallow and bland that there's no saving them.
Nonsense. They will be remembered as the finest examples of how NOT to develop characters, from the finest examples of how NOT to continue one of the most beloved movie franchises in cinematic history.
It’s actually sad because ‘The Force Awakens’ has cool elements to it and had the potential to be truly great- perhaps even better than the prequels. I recall the anticipation and hopes I had as a Star Wars fan after seeing the previews...
Finn poe and rey might as well be Sam Witwicki from the original Transformers movie. More people remember Ladiesman217 than Sam Witwicki
Multiple generations.
Not only did give a quality rework to Luke, but he gave Snoke actual purpose. What a lad
My husband & I listened to this, (& your other fixes), & our reaction was the same… sitting quietly for a sec, then both of us thinking the same thing; ‘This man is amazing, a genius, & wouldn’t it be great if he was on Jon & Dave’s writing team.’ We really appreciate & are grateful for your work. Thank-you Drinker.
Sadly when Disney "fixed" Luke Skywalker, they "fixed" him the way people get their cats fixed. You know. Snip snip.
My cat agrees
@Major Gear Do they often get spayed in the process? Because if so then now Sean Bean know how it feels to be Mark Hamill.
Sometime in this Century the CGI of recreating actors will be such that they look real with no difference detectable.
Thus will someone reboot this pathetic trilogy as it should be with Luke,Leia & Han together as they should be & this garbage will be dumped. Think of all the other franchises that can also be saved.
@Plazmatron It was just a joke man. Nice overthink.
Unfortunatly (in my eyes) the only way to fix Luke is to bring him back to life, make him his former self! The oppertunist, the positive force energi, the "motivation aura" he has! ... the "always help my friends and confront my fears and enemies!" Luke! .. The life/ force spark and fire he always had, the protector of his friends and most importantly Luke realize JJ Abrams and Ruin Johnson was a bad dream or a Palpatine spell put on him he now breaks out off! HE cut the BS and self realize his own amazing JEDI GRANDMASTER POWERS AND EXPERIENCE LEVEL! LUKE IS AT THIS POINT MAX LEVEL... SUPERIOR GRANDMASTER IN THE FORCE! His enormous experience level is like a Kung-Fu Grandmaster! :D THEN AND ONLY THEN I can live with he teach and passes the torch after a final battle where Luke show his power lilke NEVER before! HE STUDIED the Jedi TEXTS! he is MAX LEVEL ! BUt he fight against the Emperor could cost his everything! so simple and A EPIC Rise of Skywalker alternate movie! (the Lukle cut! )
While it doesn't totally "fix" Luke, this is infinitely better. Unfortunately, the only way to truly "fix" his character would be to totally remake/retcon the movie/Disney trilogy.
Rey etc are fundamentally poor characters and Daisy Ridley is the wrong actress. You're right. The entire new saga is awful. It should have been Jacen, Jaina, and Ben Solo. Jaina is the hero jedi, her brother falls to the dark side, and Ben can be a lot like Han. Or you can take a variation. Either way Luke is their uncle and it's a brilliant way to transition from Skywalker to Solo. Yes i've taken a little from the EU but they can strike in a new direction. Either way my idea is the one they should have gone with.
FanEdits with deepfake is another option.
starseed96 Will happen eventually
Me: Looks at all the comments so far.
I agree with _all_ of this.
If I was the writer for Episode 9, I would literally do the "Luke was having a bad dream" schtick. I would. All I would have to do is say it was Snoke trying to influence Luke (similar to what the Drinker has described here). I remember after the dust settled from the fallout of TLJ, I thought to myself, "That would be the only way to redeem this trilogy for me"
*The new Disney Star Wars trilogy was nothing more than Twilight Star Wars. I'm surprised we didn't see sparkly Jedi vampires.*
WORSE: It's Fifty Shades of Rey!
Twilight was better. At least it didn’t bulldoze any existing IPs!
G Art Do not give them any more bad ideas! We don’t know who else is watching this!
@@jonathanwells223 Shite! I didn't think of that. Scene: Rey discovers she is the original sparkly Jedi vampire (because a girl can't be seen being bit; because that's weakness). She then resurrects Han, Leia & others, you know, because she's like Jesus?
Haha!
What I really like about this rewrite is the way it mirrors Luke's own training in Empire Strikes Back. Rae feeling the pressure to help her friends while being taunted by a Sith figure that implies a potential fall to the dark side is an awesome echo of the events of Yoda, Luke, and Dagobah
Seeing The Last Jedi made me angry to the point that I dismissed it and haven't seen Rise of Skywalker. Easy to just forget this new trilogy. But seeing this, and knowing how little it would have taken to have a poignant sendoff for an old childhood hero and passing of the torch to the young, flawed, but ultimately worthy new hero....
It just hurts.
I watched TLJ opening weekend. I walked out of the theater completely confused by what I'd seen. The anger came later. Up to that film, I had watched every Star Wars film in theaters opening weekend since the Special Edition was released in 1997, and I saw Jedi during its second run in 1984. I've not watched a new Star Wars film since; not Soylo or the Ruse of Soywoker. And I won't.
I haven't watch any of it. Hard pass
I really wish there was a way to "start over" with the new trilogy. Like they actually plan it out and redo it.
Same I haven't seen it yet and I'm scared to, I want to confront the producers director s those responsible for doing this and tell them how bad they fucked up.
I had the exact same reaction to TLJ. I still haven't watched Rise of Skywalker and tbh I don't even care to...after TLJ I had 0 investment in any of the characters or the story and when I found out that they were bringing back Palpatine and Lando I realized how pathetic and desperate Disney's endeavour had become. I then saw the trailer and burst in a fit of laughter when I saw the space horsies riding on the side of the Star Destroyer (or whatever ship that was). Disney's Star Wars is an involuntary parody of Star Wars.
I dropped my keyboard the other day and amazingly enough, THAT wrote a better Luke Skywalker than what Rian Johnson was paid obscene amounts of money to deliver.
As a hobby writer, I nearly cried at this. This is a beautifully consistent piece of story that you've written here, and I would pay serious money to see it made into a reboot of The Last Jedi. Bravo! I'm sure Mark Hamill would have loved to play this Luke.
No body cares what you think lmao. All you need to do now is add rich to your name then half the world will worship you to your face but be jealous behind closed doors. The other half will want to eat you and No one you could not pay would care.
Seriously though I agree with your comment and laughed at your name.
@@amiracleone2803 Pretty spot on.
@@TheStraightestWhitest Thank you as a hobby writer I try to "keep it real" when I "go girl".
@@TheStraightestWhitest yeah I laughed when read your name and thought to myself "nobody cares what you think". The world is maddening and"everybody wants to point their fingers and say that's the bad guy."
My friends and I were under the impression, based on the trailers, that what they were going for was Luke suggesting that separating light from dark needed to end and that Grey Jedi, those who could themselves be the very balance of both sides of the force, could ultimately end this cycle. Each time throughout the Jedi history, one side would become more powerful and dominant, and so the force would balance itself by producing more powerful light or dark jedi respectively. To truly bring balance, the jedi would need to be able to embrace both somehow. Be disciplined yet not forsake their emotions. To embrace their "humanity" but not let it consume them. This is what I thought and hoped was what was gonna happen and is what the trailers, to me implied. But nope. Luke saying that it's time for the Jedi to die wasn't about abandoning the old binary ways which would have been better, lore consistent, and reasonable. What he meant was "Oh it's all bs and we should just give up because I'm an old fart who doesn't know better than a spunky Mary Sue who just believes and that's all we need"
This actually would be an awesome ending. And it totally makes sense with how we all have to grow as people. One thing I always hated about star wars and the Jedi was the idea that attachments are bad and don’t allow you to make good decisions. Because in reality the opposite is true for humans. Human children require strong attachments in order to become emotionally healthy, empathetic and strong people. Attachments to parental figures are so important and children raised in institutions instead of families fare far worse. So the Jedi taking their students away as kids just makes no sense. Your ending is just like how real people have to embrace the duality of life and would be such a lovely metaphor.
that would have been so much more intelligent and mature than the crap we got
"abandoning the old binary ways" is a message that was desperately needed around the time of TLJ, especially with the political climate of the time.
EDIT: By which I mean "abandoning the 'with us or against us' mentality". Yes, it could get misconstrued by purveyors of "the message", but, as Michael Stackpole once wrote in the _X-Wing_ series, it's easier to clean up puddles once the wellspring has been capped.
This is the problem I've had with the entire series. Though never openly expressed, at the end of Return of the Jedi Luke is the hero in black. He is both dark and light, hence his ability to both defeat and redeem his father. As a hero he was unique for the time. They completely ignored this for him, then set up something similar with Rey, then ignored it again. Choosing the books as non canon was a mistake. The film writers seem to be afraid of challenging our morality and stuck to binary thinking. How 1982
of them. I would give anything to see the New Jedi Order made into films. Imagine how many Yuzan Vong action figures they could sell with changeable parts as separate purchases. Hint, Hint, Nudge, Nudge Disney.
I also thought they were going this way and would further examine the implications of the philosophy of Star Wars. I thought Rey would end up being a chosen one like Anakin, from a series of many. They all failed to bring balance to the force, which is why a chosen one will be reborn until balance is achieved. I thought that through her, Luke and Kylo, they could explore The Jedi, The Sith and the something in between and reach the conclusion that being fuelled and consumed by negative emotions is as bad as obsessing over repressing any emotions to begin with. Both the Jedi and the Sith tipped too much at the far ends of the spectrum. It would tie in so beautiful with overarching story of the franchise. I would also explain the purpose for more movies, apart from cash, which is that the story continues for as long as a chosen one is required.
It would also explain why Rey was unnaturally skilful at many things, similar to Anakin, so while not fixing the problems with her character, would at least provide an acceptable explanation for some of her MarySue -like traits.
The whole "Snoke is influenced Luke and was turning him to the dark side" is actually an awesome idea. It makes Snoke into a bigger bad than he ever was and makes Luke into less of a loser.
Colonel Sanders That would require greats mounts of alcohol for the Drinker. Would yo see it though.
Kevin Smith told a story about Die Hard 4 where Bruce Willis got pissed off about how his character was being written. In a standoff he supposedly asked them "Who's your second choice to play John McClane?" They caved and did it his way. I only wish Hamill had done something similar.
maybe this is the case of confirmed bastard ree-anne johnson killing him off because he thought the script was bad
Hamill was bound by contract, and facing zillions of dollars in losses he probably couldn't pay if he reneged on the inked deal.
Willis wasn't facing social justice Marxism at the time.
Second choice? Jerry Doyle? Maybe (too late now)
@@chrissonofpear1384 I always said they looked alike....
Hamill looks like a shell shocked veteran who just lost his platoon in combat when he's sitting next to Rian Johnson.
I think Mark the kind of actor who deeply cares about the characters he portrays/voices, so that would make sense.
😂😂😂
Tom Gerlach he probably signed a three picture deal before TFA
If there was any justice Hamill would have shived him in the throat right there and then.
that would make a better movie than the last jedi too
This is really good, high level understanding of what can motivate characters, much more psychologically believable than the crap we got. "Muh subverted expectations blah blah". When you said "I hate you with the force of a million exploding suns"I cheered.
Luke in TLJ: 0/10
Luke in your fan fiction: 1000/1
@@adonaimelles2317 That is actually not the problem. The problem is that Luke acts very differently to the same situations. He sees his relative engulfed with darkness and wants to correct the situation, in the original, he never gave up on trying to turn his father, whereas in the sequels, he just tries to kill Kylo even before he turned to the dark side.
Everything we have learnt tells us that Luke was greater in the second scenario than the first, why did he chicken out? Just because of Mr. Ruin Johnson.
@@adonaimelles2317 nice shitty, wrong opinion you have there.
This new plot not only makes sense, it works.
Unfortunately, Disney would never go down that road, because you know, patriarchy.
Yep Di$ney has always hated fathers in every movie the father is dead before the start of the film dies in the movie or is a fool/wrong/coward every single time
You missed out "diversity".
The whole "rey fails" thing doesn't make sense with TFA retarded nonsense. Kylo ren is a dark side user, that wound from chewbacca would have made him do better.
Whet do you expect of Snowwhite and the seven Dwarfs
I really like this angle. Snoke being able to manipulate Luke actually makes him more of a threat than Palpatine, who he was able to resist. It also could foreshadow a history between Luke and Snoke, and even building off of a corrupted force bond like KOTOR II explored. That’s infinitely more interesting than Snoke being able to connect Rey and Kylo for no good reason.
You really have to appreciate how terrifying it would be for Snoke to have the ability to manipulate Luke. Audience members who have watched the original trilogy would instantly know how big of a threat Snoke is to the resistance.
Instead of him sitting down doing nothing, before being killed off. Heck, in the third film, he and Luke could have a really cinematic duel with the Force. As Luke gets closer, he reveals an electrum plated lightsaber which he ignites to reveal a black blade. Just a thought.
@@theserpent8667 I think a different color lightsaber would be better because:
A: a black lightsaber feels a little too "Darkside" for a Jedi to be using
B: there is already a black lightsaber in canon, and adding another would take away the specialness of the already existing one
It was a good idea though, no offense
@@conneraldeqn9751 I was thinking of Snoke because he had an obsidian ring.
@@theserpent8667 oh okay
This is an excellent idea for Luke! Now to fix the rest: The sub-lightspeed chase can be intensified by having the First Order jump Destroyers in front of the rebels in order to intercept, which means the rebels need to fly erratically. A near miss can add the first bit of tension. The rebels need to have a second hangar on board for fightercraft. Kylo Ren destroys one, but we need Finn and Poe to fly an older crappy fighter when the second interception turns into a serious space battle. We can keep Holdo not telling Poe the plan, but make her tell him that because they get tracked throught hyperspace, they suspect there's a traitor on board. Hence the need to know basis. Have Holdo and Rose find the traitor during the space battle because of a hint from Finn or Poe. This allows us to cut the entire Canto Bight sequence, gives every character something useful to do and it fixes the pacing issues. The rebels escape and move on to the plan to take shuttles to the surface of Crait, but Hux finds out and starts shooting then down. That's where we pick up Drinker's version again.
Just end the ridiculous fuel shortage .
Are the Democrats in charge of space fuel in the Star Wars universe?
Ask President Palpatine.
The year is 2020, and I still can't forgive Rian Johnson, Disney, and everyone involved in this atrocity.
Yep, they wrecked it hard!
I might be wrong but I think the Corona virus is nature's reaction to this shitty trilogy.
Hell, I couild forgive a bad movie, doing a bad job, whatever...it's the sheer hatefulness, the snotty, snarky, self-indulgent _arrogance_ , the (if I may) SHEER FUCKING HUBRIS of Rian Johnson that I won't ever forget or forgive. Fuck him and fuck Kathleen Kennedy for being incompetent and fuck Disney for being afraid to admit to the horrible mistake they made in not removing her years ago.
Javier Sanchez I went through the same phase for a year after last Jedi came out because The Fandom Menace negatively influenced me. They made me hate Disney’s Star Wars for reasons I had never even considered before, and the fact I was practically lied too by their Fake sources also made me despise their channels for how much of their criticisms were built up from misinformation and lies. I was able to move on from the hate because I accepted the sequel trilogy for what it was, a Flawed yet exciting adventure.
*I know I’ll get hate for this comment,* _but I’d rather share my true opinions towards Star Wars then Lie to myself for facts I know aren’t true._ And for the most part I’m glad I’m being more honest, because sooner or later Fans will move on from the hate just like they did with the Prequels, and that is when the Fanbase will hopefully be a safe place to talk about Star Wars again.
Agreed. Ruin Johnson is a creatively flaccid USC film school hack, who had no business writing Episide 8. He & Kathleen Kennedys collosal failure torched the Star Wars franchsise forever.
"I hate you with the dark fire of a million exploding neutron stars."
That gave me chills.
The Drinker has the words man
I felt that.
Neutron stars do not explode, they are results of TWO IMplosions. Also, progenitor supernova also actually IMPLODES, and then only 'explodes' by rebouncing from compressed core - giving 99% energy in neutrinos anyway.
@@piotrd.4850 thanks, Mr. Pedantic. Reminder: This is a Wendy's.
Tbf that line is about as subtle as Rose dialogue.
1. Invent time machine
2. Stop George Lucas selling to Disney
3. Pour youself a drink and sit back knowing youve saved millions of fans from
crying out in terror watching the Disney trilogy!
I'm sorry but... it's over, anime slayer.
Disney has the high ground.
Disney going under from this bug would be poetic justice. Let George be able to buy his ruined franchise back for a $1 McDonald's cheeseburger and a promise they'll enjoy hell with good ol Walt, Stalin, and Uncle Adolf, for all of the children hurt by Disney's greed. Good f***ing riddance.
Dude, it`s just a fucking movie! Who the fuck cares? Oh some SW dorks care? Fuck em. Star Wars was never that good anyway. Just a movie a little bit ahead of its time, 40 fucking years ago! Who the fuck gives a fuck?
@@yurgenlevi7980 well, seeing how angry you react to people , i would say you are really giving a lot of fucks about this ... just saying .. ;)
@@yurgenlevi7980 Yeah, you obviously don't care.
This story you created made me feel more emotion in 20 minutes than I felt over all three of those films. Excellent job drinker
luke seeing rey as an opportunity to make things right with what happened to ben is such a screaming idea with good writing, how was that not chosen?
That would turn our stunningly brave heroine into a tool of some white old man seeking forgiveness for his vile past crimes.
Because Rey can’t be allowed to be seen as insufficient in any way. So she goes in looking for a teacher, then yells and him and beats him up without learning a single thing of note. Aside from getting a baffling fixation on “saving” Kylo.
@@Mgauge she was beating him beceause she realized that luke tried to kill innocent kid in his sleep lol
@@thephoenix4093 Why was she able to beat a Jedi Master when she had almost no training? It happens in TLJ and TFA, it's ridiculous.
@@adonaimelles2317 you really cut and pasted this unreadable shit from above? Have you no mercy on the bytes you destroyed? Not even Drinker can manufacture a fix that makes sense of your steaming pile of nonsense.
If Kylo was so innocent, why did he automatically assume Luke standing over him with a lightsaber was a bad thing?
It'd be like "Hey kiddo, up for some secret late night saber practice?"
Perhaps he could of felt the dark intent from Snoke coming through Luke.
Well, he was being manipulated by Snoke and all, so that probably had something to do with it. But really, they did a pretty half-assed job in trying to make Kylo redeemable. I mean you could tell that's what they were trying to do, but they still didn't do it well.
Like Inspector Clouseau and Kato.
I feel like I'm traumatized after seeing that milking scene so often.
Jack Owen it looks so wrong...
Eyes have tiny lids with muscles attached.
Even after a few hundred times, it doesn't get any less disgusting. 🤮
you are not alone bro, I cannot sleep either because of this. Only huge amounts of booze help.
Or strangely titillated
THIS
WAS
AWESOME!!!
YES!
First fix for Luke: have him NOT throw away his lightsaber!!!
Second: Force push Rei into the sea.
harbl99 Brilliant idea!
Look at the work by Ivan Ortega on YT. He re-edits the film, I'm just waiting for his finished product.
Mayrhunes Blackrock Link???
Why not , maybe he doesn't need a damn light saber anymore...
Force ghost Ben or Yoda saying "Were you any different when you were her age?" "any different you were not" would have been a nice touch to convince Luke to take on her training.
Both of them. Addressing Luke alone as he struggles with the decision whether to train Ray. Your dialogue. Would have to inject some more reckless zeal and enthusiasm into Ray's character earlier to try and reflect young Luke in the original. Luke is conflicted because he remembers his near slide into the dark side and associates it with his young self and recognizes it in Ray. (He is a Jedi Master you know).
Geoppetto Hosseltoff And it would be totally fitting in Drinkers version, after all Luke WAS in her shoes, he did run of to face Vader on his own before he was ready, only to lose his dads lightsber, along with the hand holding it.
Darth vader: *literal child murderer*
Luke then: There is good in him!
Ben: *Does nothing, but Luke has a bad dream about him going bad*
Luke now: omg gotta kill him because thats how I've always fought evil
You have to get them while they are young. This is why Anakin killed the young'uns ... he saw da future where they turned to the dark side ... but what he saw was a fake vision from palpatine a vision of the Knights of Ren.
Epic. I just tied the Original the Prequels and the Sequels. Now pay me Disney.
@@MrFallenone nope Anakin was scared that padme would fuck another baby jedi now that he was too old
a hacker, and he'd had soooo much fun doing it the first time me he did it again to a whole planet filled with children and their relatives.
@@bring-out well Vader had a hand in the destruction of Aalderan.
@@bring-out My comment was mostly a joke. But yeah a more cerebral trilogy about Anakins fall would have been amazing. I have this headcannon where Anakins slave background has traumatized him, and making him vehemently hate heiarchies; letting people have power over him. And therefore his relationship with the Jedi order was doomed to fail because of this.
"The world is fucked, everything is hopeless, and there is nothing you can do about it."
An accurate description of our society that began in 2020 and continues to be the case in 2021.
Onwards to 2022✊🏾
It began earlier than 2020 and the Star Wars sequels are a product of it 😒 Hopeless is exactly what I felt after watching them.
The nihilism, lack of purpose and lack of faith continues into 2022....it makes me feel sad as a Christian! How will this generation survive?
Alright, this is canon to me now. It also opens the door to something great: What if Snoke was really feeble physically, but ultra strong with the Force when it comes to manipulation and putting visions in people's head in order to bend them to his will? That could make for a quite different and interesting antagonist than what we're used to. Some kind of cunning, Force-powered Mysterio with top level Jedi mind tricks.
I can already imagine a scene with him, young and frail on a remote planet, eager to interpret the bizarre secrets of some Sith scrolls he stumbled upon. Staying hidden deep inside ancient ruins for decades, surviving on critters, moss, and a bit of water.. only coming out to practice his ever-growing mind games on villagers, until he corrupts them all and decides to rise among them.. even though he despises them. Because he can. Ruling over towns, then galactic cities, and eventually whole governments, corrupting every system he reaches.
That would also explain how the First Order was able get their hands on so many resources to carry out their evil deeds: sheer corruption of suggestible minds, en masse.
Breaking Snoke's grasp on Kylo in the 3rd movie would also make it a lot easier to redeem Ben in the end. Make it clear that his mind was duped from the get go, allowing to explore the repercussions of control and free will via the Force. And ultimately carry on with Luke and Rey back to the Light side.
ZedK49 that is legitimately the best idea I’ve heard for snoke as it would differentiate him from the emperor
@@lordinquisitor6233 Thanks mate :) I mean, the Emperor was a manipulative Sith as well, but more in terms of strategy, and the focus was also on physical abilities (especially ep. 3 and 6). Building on what our boi Drinker suggested, I think this would have worked yeah!
@@thisisfyne
Maybe Show us in the next movie why luke was right to hide as at the turnpoint snoke corrupts luke and they have to Strike hin Down
@@simonkerstgens6888 Holy fuck, that's bold!
Yeah, this would have been a great character development for Snoke and would have made him an extremely interesting character. Remember when Snoke appeared in The Force Awakens as a seemingly giant entity? Obviously that could have been the mental projection of how he presents himself. It could even be a whole "Wizard of Oz" type thing where Snoke is really some very small, fragile guy who appears absolutely huge because of his powers of projection (his true physical form could look completely different).
This would have been the opposite of the absolute perversion of physical ability that was shown in the prequels (Yoda becoming some sort of super acrobatic light saber-wielding samurai, etc). Rather than every single Force user having/being good at using light sabers, Snoke understands the power of the mental aspect of the Force and absolutely masters it well beyond even characters like Luke. Therefore, it takes someone other than Luke who is truly gifted in their own way to resist Snoke's mental attacks and defeat him.
The most annoying thing about how this trilogy played out is that when people start tossing out a few good ideas, it just builds from there and you realize just how many great stories could have been told, and how baffling it is that what they came up with doesn't include any of that.
Isn’t it annoying that in the comics, Luke could become one with the force, could become an unmovable object more powerful than a black hole and also killed completely Palpatine but here he “died” after projecting himself light years away? Doesn’t Disney suck?
honestly lucus saying legends was no longer cannon is probably 2nd worse decision he made the first being selling star wars to Disney.
@@michaell8000 Lucas didn't say that, he said that the EU wasn't canon TO HIM, though he was willing to make a couple of references here and there. Disney are the ones who decanonized the original EU, though making a sequel trilogy under any circumstance would have to result in that.
It’s not Disney, dude. Disney has never made a Star Wars movie. The shit of TLJ is strictly from Lucasfilm, not Disney.
@@captainrednek9301 and what is the difference between the two? Lucasfilm is a subsidiary of Disney has been since 2012.
@@captainrednek9301 Disney bought LF, and put their own people in charge...
Mark Hamill is such an awesome dude. He deserved more than the butchering “the last jedi” did to his character 😭
Gotta give him credit for going in, holding his head high, playing the role, and even standing up for whats-her-face when fans went too far dunking on her for that crappy magic horse casino bit they put in for no reason. It really shows how good a guy he actually is.
@@ScrambledAndBenedict Agreed. The sequels were god awful but no one should’ve been bullied, maybe the directors but definitely not the actors, your character can only be as good as he or she is written. The directors and even left media outlets called fans sexist and racist for not liking for having their own opinions on the movies when no one had a problem with people because of their skin color, rather the horrendous writing for characters and plots, but absolutely no one should have gotten any threats, some people just take things too far man. Like in the prequels, the only thing relatively bad about those movies is the dialogue, no one should have gotten bullied, especially the boy who played young Anakin, that was a literal child, some people are just assholes and losers
@@DefecTec As a rule, I am very firmly against harassing an actor for a performance. I'm even against simply blaming an actor for doing what the script asked of them, and only really blame them when they shoot their mouths off on social media (Like Daniella Pineda) or when they actively fuck with the filming process (Like Marlon Brando would infamously do).
That said I am also very firmly against the sexism and racism (and any other "isms" you wanna add to that) accusations levied by companies, creators, and journalists when fans don't like their work. Let's just call it what it is: corporations using loathsome accusations against people for not consuming their product.
To me, there's a middle ground that needs to be reached. Fans need to express disapproval without resorting to vulgar churlish behavior, and creators need to deal with criticisms without resorting to trying to manipulate people's emotional sensitivities. If more fans could express their disapproval like James Rolfe's eloquent explanation of why he wasn't going to watch the 2016 Ghostbusters, while more creators could attempt to recognize genuine criticisms of works like the creators of the Sonic movie, we'd all be way better off.
But, heh, that's kind of like saying "If there were no criminals we wouldn't need the police", sad to say.
It was actually rumored that, after seeing himself in The Mandalorian, during the scene where he arrives to help, that Mark Hamill had an emotional moment.
There was also footage of him in his old robes as well as wielding his lightsaber, and the look in his eyes was a sight to behold
Every time I see that video with him and rian Johnson he looks so furious at what was done to the character
This is my new Starwars head cannon. I love the angle that Snokes primary dark power is to manipulate people and events. Using the philosophy and mindset of the Jedi against them. I would have loved to see a climax where they faced snoke, both Rey and Kylo. I would love to see them on the verge of defeating them. Only for Kylo to take the final blow, and Rey stopping him. She realizes that someone was manipulating her, and she rejects it. That the way of the Jedi is not of vengance, but balence. Snoke admits that what he wanted was order, his backstory could have been from absoute chaos after the Empire was defeated, his family was bankrupted, and killed. Everyone he knew and loved gone by the chaos. The only cure for chaos is order "The first order", as it were. He also tells Rey her parents were killed by the Rebellion during their attacks. Both Snokes and Reys past shattered by the actions of the Rebellion, "How do you think I got these scars?" he screams out in a fit of angish. He flashes scenes of his childhood and suffering caused by the rebellion, and finally on her parents, perhaps working on one of the two death stars, to scrape together enough money for Rey to have a better life. Snoke hands Rey a necklace her mother wore, which could be alluded earlier in the movie.
Then Kylo and Rey fight. Kylo desparatly trying to eliminate snoke as the threat that he has become. Rey, fighting because in her mind she has been fighting on the wrong side. All of her suffering, has been caused by the chaotic influence of the Rebellion. Rey is able to best Kylo, and leave with snoke. Wanting answers, but also seeing a kinship with Snokes tragic past and her own. Not as an accolite, but needing answers.
The thrid movie could be Reys redemption. Kylo finally realizing he was manipulated and he sees the same happening to Rey. Maybe Kylo becoming the protagonist in the thrid movie. You can go from there.
I want to thank you for this. I wish my husband had lived long enough to see someone flesh out all the ideas he and I shared over his beloved Star Wars. Tommorow would have been his 45th birthday and this is a lovely gift. He saw the first Star Wars in his stroller and the last just weeks before his sudden death. He and I listened to you often and I told myself I would watch this in honor of his birthday. I'm glad I did. Thank you, sir.
Best wishes.
Wow I hope you found the courage and fortitude. It's been 2 years you write this. It turn out, 2 years ago I was lucky enough to be saved at the last minute by à liver transplant. It was the last movie I've seen in cinema and I was so angry about what they did. Hope you're doing better. Best wishes.
It actually is sad how this character was so blatantly discarded, johnson is a crude man, the teachers pet that giggles at the punishment of a student he gleefully got in trouble. What a waste of a good story, what a sad outcome, all for the sake of ego and a dollar sign. Im gonna go away now..
Luke growing up to be a bitter old loser man is just to much reality to be enjoyed.
Rian isn’t a man, he’s a little girl
"Nah, it'll be fine!"
What a sad and disappointed "Go away now" in the end.
That hurt a lot.
That's the effect this movie has on me.
@@TheCriticalDrinker We all know that feeling. You are not alone, friend.
Cheers!
Everytime I hear him say his bye line in that way, I almost feel like a part of me got ripped open. I feel ya, bro. I feel ya.
@@devilsadvocate22289 Agree. I think the worst crime they did is too kill our enthousiasm and joy of Star Wars. I mean could you imagine having so many people being like "meh" before the launch of a new Star Wars? That was the sad case before TRoS.
We got the same disappointed "Go away now" with Picard.
Sucks seeing such great series just get flushed :(
Brilliant stuff...As a life-long Star Wars fan, I have been deeply saddened by these new abominations. It's good to know there is someone out there fighting for our favorite heroes, and villians.
I got a lump in my throat reading this. It reminds me of a time when theories ran wild, Rumors of Luke fighting the Knights. Luke in the throne room, getting a dark feeling he hasn't sensed since the Emperor.
Instead, we got Carrie Poppins.
@Lungs McBreathy I read this rumor of some Scottish/Irish guy witnessing Mark take down the Knight as he peeked over the Disney fence when they were filming.
Okay, so between this video and “The Drinker Fixes: Rey” can you please do a re-write of the whole trilogy?! The two “fixes” videos about the Sequel Trilogy are BRILLIANT and could absolutely be considered plausible alternatives to what we actually got
Up
I second this
THESE REWRITES ARE OFFICIAL CANON IN MY MIND
Your wishes were granted
Kylo: *Redeems himself and dies*
Luke and Anakin: First time?
True
@FeO2 FeS if only rey followed them
Rey throws herself into training with determination, *failing at first*
I can't say how much that retelling of Rey failing at first in her initial training makes the character so much better in my mind, instead of the character we were given where she does things perfectly, first time, every time.
"A Jedi's weapon deserves more respect."
*throws lightsaber off cliff*
The Luke we know is in Star Wars Legends. The Luke we saw on The Last Jedi is an impostor clone that was made by Palpatine.
aka Jake Skywalker
Look at the sadness on Mark Hammil's face during those interviews.
I thought it was just me thinking he looked like, "you Bastards" how could you!
Makes my blood boil
I have never felt bad for people who make millions for getting filmed LARPing as adults....until they gutted Mark Hamill's work.
But remember, Mark filmed these scenes, and took the paycheck. He read the script. He could of said FU and walked of the set.
@@Kyle-sr6jm i think he was under contract. Try breaking a contract with Disney when they own your iconic role. Have some sympathy for Mark Hamill’s position! When he signed, he didn’t know Rian Johnson’s mind any more than Rian Johnson did. He likely assumed as we did, that Disney actually cared and would take measures to create a properly finished story arc for his character, as the Drinker has now corrected. They definitely did NOT hand him completed scripts (that is simply not possible).
@@Kyle-sr6jm I Mr Hamill hadn't played Luke, how much worse would they have screwed his legacy?
*It's like just by bring Luke back you've managed to magically convert Kylo into a legitimate threat.*
Turns out it's way easier to make a villain seem like a threat when he's allowed to actually get a win against the protagonist.
Kylo is impossible to take seriously because he loses the first fight against Rey... they could have done better without Rey seeming weak by having her actually push him in a lightsaber fight only to get instantly ragdolled when Kylo breaks out the force powers. Great way to illustrate the difference between someone with force sensitivity and a properly trained force user, too.
Imagine how excited Mark Hamill would be during the press tours for a movie like this.
Who cares? Hamill's always been a POS, and was never a believable bit of casting.
@@banjopink4409 Don't you have some Trump video to be commenting on? Get lost obvious troll!
@@jnwestray78 So you think Hamill was great, and thus we disagree, but your over-the-top reaction to a dissenting viewpoint makes you look pathetic and seem less than trustworthy. You probably have bad taste too.
The Drinker. The only man who can safely wield power tools and alcohol while fixing the pillars of culture. Mr. The Drinker, I salute you.
Hats off to you, astonishingly sharp drunk man, I wish disney had a writer like you for this tragedy of a trilogy
Edit:
Also, somebody please link this video to Mark Hamill
I would also link this to Rian Johnson, tell him to let go of his pride and even, if he can, that this is a better version of episode 8
Dude if this happened in the movies I would have actually liked them. As it is they left so little impression on me I didn't even remember much of what happened in them. It's amazing how much more talented you are than anyone who worked on these movies.
My heart goes out to Mark Hamill, they destroyed his entire legacy without even letting him know until it was too late, it is the most sickening thing they could of done. Sci fi lore has always had some form of deeper meaning written in it, the characters of those lores show us meanings to life, thats why we get so attached which is why i will forever believe that anyone who was involved in the story and plot of the most recent starwars movies HAS NEVER TRULY LOVED THE LORE WHAT SO EVER! It's like they ripped the faces off of the old characters and reenacted every positive moment in starwars and turned it to shit. I don't give a shit about the new movies anymore, they are a cancer to the star wars lore and i have cut it away so i can carry on loving the real luke skywalker forever.
I honestly believe that many , many people are hurting, and hurting deeply , from all this. It will take a long time to heal, and I think that, for many. the scars will always be there. Alot of ''Anti-fans'' , those who never liked the Star Wars culture in the first place but now claim it for themselves, revel in this. That is where the ''man-baby'' insult originates.
But I think that there are very real and long term effects upon a mans outlook on life when his childhood hero is desecrated and those he trusted, even symbolically , are turned against him. And I believe that there are cultural consequences to all this too. Inter generational distrust and such like.
I just never saw a point in the last 3 movies even being made. After all that happened in the OT, sequels should have taken place far in the future.
@@barnoldwhv Well , that's an interesting point. I agree that after the OT there really wasn't much left to say about Skywalker , the force , the emperor , et al . The prequels were filler, I never really took much notice of them (I did go to see them) , but it was always understood that there were to be sequels. The Story of the Empire was clearly not over. Personally , I imagined a cold war scenario , mimicing the real cold war, perhaps with stylistic cues taken from the soviet era,lots of super weapons , perhaps some turmoil as the empire collapsed,.. I mean , that's just me, right ?! Point is, there was plenty to go of , plenty of inspiration, plenty of room for high drama , heros and heroins , empires falling , galaxies to save....
They went for slagging of Luke and bringing back the Emperor. Whatever.
I mean , seriously , that's it. They just wanted to call the fans bigots. An entire multi million dollar franchise fucked over so they could wave the middle finger at guys like me. That's the truth .
Heros are only as heroic as the villains are villainous. The modern, cynical film era show us how special the originals truly were. Star Wars was more than the lightsabers and spectacle. It was a heartfelt message sent through space to spread wisdom with (as the drinker so aptly pointed out) PURPOSE. Agenda, subversion, virtue points, a jedi craves not these things.
Fun, awe inspiring, and good for the soul. We watched Star Wars feeling hope and trust in our fellow man, woman, and droid.
The Last Jedi was feminist and man-child rage given to the dark side, cloaked in Star Wars, lurching in a van, distributing candy to our malnourished inner-child.
@@crazyfingers619 I completely agree with your first paragraph. That is a truth that the TLJ fans, so called, just cannot grasp.
God knows what TLJ was. For me , as a middle aged man who grew up with Luke Skywalker from an early age, it was a kick in the teeth. Though , it was the behavior of the fans that hurt the most. They reviled us !
*_"I hate you with the fire of a hundred exploding neutron stars!"_*
This can be a powerful line in a sci-fi setting,...or Drinker may be one of the most powerful (and the hammiest) Sith in the Old Republic.
Now, if only Rey had said that to Kylo Ren in "The Force Awakens", I would've had a whole lot more respect for her character.
Darth Critikus.
Your version Drinker, has filled me with profound and inescapable sadness. A sadness born of a longing of what could have been...
You're not the only one. :'(
You what is really sad?
Drinker's version is infinite times better than the original movie but it still is a little predictable because he had to work with the events of the Force Awakens. Imagine if Disney actually hired capable people and planned what to do with this franchise.
It's so sad
@@pezzini01 In Jedi Knight Jedi Academy, there we had a wise and enigmatic Grand-Master Luke Skywalker, in the Invasion Comics, we had a Deus ex machina who could tample with forces beyond our recognition until the characters rose up to the challenge. That is what we all wanted. He could be that. That is what Mark Hamill wanted. It should be his new peak in his career.
Instead, just like he said "Who is this guy?"
I don't think being predictable is entirely bad, specially when you have well constructed characters in a new plot interacting with a new challenges, characters and gizmos.
The Mandalorian is pretty predictable, so was Rebels, and both made by Dave Filoni, and they are/were quite decent stories.
@@rafaelfarias4359 I agree with you entirely. I just meant that if the previous had laid a good way the second movie could be even better.
All this exile thing, no matter the reason, doesn't match Luke's character (in my opinion).
Hey Drinker! Thank you soooo much for this. I feel like I saw the film we should have been given. Brilliant! I actually got teary eyed at the end looking at the dual sunset with Luke and the main characters - wow! Bravo mate. Thanks again!
The Kylo vs Rey fight on the Supremecy is a perfect time for her to lose her hand. You wanna call yourself a Skywalker, you gotta go through the tradition of losing a hand.
She should have lost her whole arm....she should have sacrificed
@@adam-11herbs Hey now, that's not narrative symmetry. Luke and Anakin only lost a hand, so she needs to lose a hand as well.
Though, I guess it's also good symbology that she is merely claiming to be a Skywalker without earning it and taking what isn't hers.
how dare you to make a wamen lose a part of her body? Her body her choice ya know???
@@eddthehead123 By identity theft and taking everything? Damn.
Hmmmm if Palpatine forceimpregnated Anakin's mom, and Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter... are they related then? or no?
"I hate you with the dark fire of a million exploding neutron stars." You sounded like Scottish Batman saying that.
Really good writing btw. A drunk dude deadass made something better than the entire movie
To be blunt, Luke really was being controlled by an evil force when he ignited that lightsaber on Ben. It’s just that the one doing the controlling was the director/screenwriter of the movie.
😂