I fell in love with you lol you spoke the damn truth about the gay community and how "mascs" and "fems" are separated and are considered an issue. We're fighting against discrimination but we are discriminating ourselves.
Unfortunately, as an older gay male, I've experienced the "shallowness" of the gay community more often than not. I appreciate your words, Zach, and I hope it reaches those that need to hear and will respond accordingly. You are definitely a breath of fresh air! Enjoyin' your videos! Keep up the good work!
Anyone who doesn't get why Alastair looks at you with the most adoring expressions needs to see this video! You're amazing. Thanks for this one, Zach!!
Prayers to B and that he continues getting better. Lost my little girl a couple weeks ago after 14+ years of being gifted with her in my life. One of the most helpless feelings when you can't help your little ones.
I am so proud, so proud to see someone speak up for me. I have been struggling with dating and guys ridiculing me because i'm not "Masc" enough or because I'm not the race they think beauty is upheld by and because I don't meet their standards in general. It has really hurt my confidence and has made me feel like i'm undesirable. It is so heartwarming to hear someone finally speak up about this topic and this form of discrimination based on looks. I hope you keep making videos to educate and to stick up for us underdogs. thank you so much, and I look forward to watching more of your vlogs!
The openness of the current generation of gay kids on TH-cam and in life is amazing to me. Forty years ago when I was in high school, I felt like the only gay kid in the world. Realistically, I knew I wasn't, but I was way too scared to let anyone know I was gay, for fear that I'd be outed, bullied, and rejected by my "friends." It does my heart good to know that fighting for our rights all those years actually accomplished a world where LGBT folks can plan a wedding, dream of having a stable marriage, raise kids, and otherwise live a "normal" life. Would I have liked to have those options? SURE. But at least you kids have them, and it makes me happy to know you do. Keep posting, Zach. You give us older folks a boost just seeing how you can live a life that makes you happy.
Wow! It's so comforting to know that there are genuine guys like you out there. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to see guys in clubs acting so obnoxious and how unfaithful couples can be!
I love the way you disregard stereotypes of masc or fem. It shows the depth of your character that you focus on the person & heart versus a shallow stereotype. :)
Firstly, amazing qualities to select. Secondly, I am so happy you spoke out about the internal prejudice within the LGBT+ community. The requirement to be "'masc" or "femme" is definitely frustrating. It's time people start accepting who they are and be them. Truly admire your honesty!
I've recently started taking change of what I want in a guy, and this hits home. I never really comment on videos, but you have an incredibly positive outlook. I suffer from a crippling form of clinical depression, so somedays/weeks/months I can't be all I want for a guy. However, I've been giving a lot more and conversations like this give me rise.
I worked with Tom Hardy on the set of Mad Max. I was just a script assistant then but he was such a great guy. Intense. But lovely and polite - just don't interrupt his process. Absolutely hulking and gorgeous - and smelled great when sweating. Like musky sandalwood. He'd wink at me every conversation we had cuz he liked the way it made me blush.
Hey Zach, I'm Zach. Just want to say you're really insightful and it's cool to know there are other like-minded people out there man. I think your outlook on life is really important and unique. Don't let TH-cam nor its comments influence your views or opinions. Also I'm glad that you don't want to "advertise" your relationship as a means to get more views. It takes away meaning from your relationship. It's cool that you're really genuine and sincere about your relationship. You have my respect mate. looking forward to viewing more of your videos
As a new subscriber, I was nervous about watching this video. I was afraid of the direction it was going to take. However, Zach completely floored me with his non-stereotypical attitude. I have long said that Millennials will save the world - As evidence, I would point to Mr. Zach Garcia.✌️
Ugh. You're perfect. You described everything I look for in a guy as well! Good to know there are good, wholesome guys out there :). Also, praying for your puppy dog!!
You just described how I feel perfectly! Why are we creating a divide in our own community based on a person's level of masculinity? I love your videos! Keep 'em coming!
You're a man with wisdom far beyond your years. I also think you know your younger audience well and address really important issues. I heard you say in a different vlog that you have had to tell Alastair that their are times when you're quiet and go deep into yourself and not to worry that you're mad or that something is wrong. You need time to think, to sort through and organize your priorities, your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams, your goals, your plans. You're a deep thinker. I think that's your most endearing quality -- you being you. You do it damn well, dude. Thanks.
I really appreciate all of your videos and topics. You are very inspirational and very wise for your age. Thank you for all you do to motivate and help other people through posting your videos.
Idk why but it was really refreshing to me that you didn't mention a single word about any physical traits for a partner, mostly because being shallow is waaaay at the top of my dont list for guys.
It's really nice to hear more people say that we need to be more accepting within our own community. I have been literally begging for years for people to stop being petty and vicious to eachother. it drives me crazy that we expect hetero folks to accept us, but tear down others within our own community, no fats, no femmes, no Asians. I sovtire of that tag line. I have met so many amazing people because I don't care what you look like, how you act and where you come from. I love people and each and every one of us have a story, so different from our own, so amazing in its own right. I pray that the lgbt community gets it together and starts being more inclusive, there's already enough assholes in the world, do we really need to add to it?
I WANT TO LIKE THIS VIDEO 100000x, prejudice! That is the perfect word to describe the internal struggles of the community! It's why I never feel like I belong in the community!! I wish there were more people like you spreading the love in the community instead of the internal segregation
Zach, I know this comment is about four years late; but, I just recently came across your channel. I'm sorry about B's chronic illness; but, he was fortunate to have you as his human companion. I'm also glad that you found a wonderful person to be your husband! This video says so many important things, not just to the LGBT+ community; but, to everyone. As a society we have, and continue to, waste so much energy on lashing out against people who aren't like "us". You spoke a lot of important truth in this post. I hope you didn't catch a lot of flack for doing that. Most of the comments I read were positive; but, I don't have the energy to read all 1.4 K of them. You pointed out to people, very importantly that not just the stereotypical, "southern white male heterosexual conservative" can be the perpetrator of oppressions, rejections, and hatreds. Each of us has our own standards for people we are comfortable with, that's fine; but, what we should not do is try to impose them on everyone else. I really appreciate your bravery and truth-speaking in calling out the LGBT+ community for overlooking the same sins within itself that it condemns in outsiders. God bless, and protect you, your partner, and all the people and creatures you care about.
I almost cried when you said "it's ridiculous when somebody feels insecure about their voice, or the way they act, or anything like that. That's just bull**it"" because that's how i feel every day.
i was ashamed of who i was because i was taught that "gay is bad", so i tried to be "straight". But through his videos, and other youtubers' videos, i am now proud of myself, being who i am, and i love myself more than ever. I appreciate his empathy, because it means a lot to me, and to other people who are like me.
That is so awesome. It took me years. When I semi-came out in the 80's, it was still the days of losing my job and being thrown in jail. And, of course, being beat to a pulp. Thank God times have changed. If you had told me this would happen so quickly back then, I would have said you were a fool. That's the true power of democracy.
Hi Zack, I stumbled upon your channel and watched a few of your video logs and I must say, you sir, are a breath of fresh air and have restored my faith in our community. For someone as young as yourself, you poses more wisdom than most about the entire picture of life and what it's all about. I came out in a time where it wasn't easy either, possibly more so than you experienced. That was 20 years ago, lol. I never really had any problems because my family was completely accepting and it was a non issue. Unfortunately, many do not have it that easy. I hope you can provide inspiration to so many youth struggling to understand their own sexual identity and I think you will. America needs more people like you. I wanted to say thank you for being you and I look forward to seeing more of your vlogs buddy. Rock on man. :) You're doing it right.
Wow, I am so happy he made this video! Like it's hard enough as it is to live in a world where the LGBTQ+ community is always in the crossfires whether it be at home, school, church or even television but then on top of that we divided ourselves into even smaller categories where finding "love" is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You are right life IS too short and I believe that we should focus more on who someone is rather than what category they are in soo keep it up :)
He does not have unrealistic standards. His standards were great and all about finding someone with a good heart and who is driven in life to be successful. I met most of them except I tend to be more introverted but it wasnt like he was saying I want someone masculine, who makes at least 60k, someone that is good looking, someone extremely fit, someone with no debt, someone who has never cheated, someone who has doesnt drink, do drugs, or smoke. He held it to a simple 5 and for him to know all this at such a young age is far impressive. I just went into my 30s and each time I go through a relationship I learn about myself and what would be more ideal for me in a relationship. And it is very hard to say ok well it failed because of this reason let me add that to my list of things I dont want in a guy. I definitely commend this guy. Mine are I want someone active whether it be gym, running, sports, hiking, some sort of activity that gets you moving and keeps you healthy, someone that doesnt do drugs, someone that doesnt smoke, someone that believes family is important, someone that follows their passion in life but they have at least a backup a plan to carry out while they try to follow that passion n hopefully it is realized (example an actor who is a waiter). The important thing is that they tried and keep trying and if they fail they learn from that failure. Nothing wrong with making mistakes but it is important to learn from them. If you dont learn from them and improve you are constantly going to keep making the mistakes over and over again in all aspects of your life.
I think you're awesome. you seem so nice and open minded, and it says a lot about you. keep making videos because I love these videos and you're inspiring. hope B is okay!!
Finally a gay youtuber with morals and respect for himself and the person he dates. I really respect you dude and these videos are great, keep it up! Subscribed.
You know you hit me right there, i hate how my voice sounds so feminine even if i don’t act feminine, any one can tells im gay from my voice this drives me crazy always
I personally love how you touched on this topic. If we were to get to know each other, I personally wouldn't fit all of the list but that's because that's me and I have flaws I am working on today. For example, I am not the type to lead. I am much of a follow behind kind of guy, not one that would take the lead unless of course it is a goal. I am very young so I haven't had much experience in life to grow to where I really know who I am. If you had a goal and I had one, I usually would put yours above mine because that's who I am. However, I am a empath (I can even feel others emotions to a degree) and am easily influenced by those closest to me. If you were to be a leader, I would grow into being one too but you'd still be the primary one in the relationship. I am also sensitive and incredibly observant and I kid you not, I am not a quick decision maker (unless I am experienced with the subject already) because I analyze everything and with patterns and detail. I am a compassionate catering person so I am always very quick and careful to encourage you, edify you, and comfort you when you are down. I struggle with confident person a lot unfortunately due to my background of being emotionally abandoned and criticized 24/7 by my parents (one as a step who is a narcissist and the other as a biological with borderline narcissism and paranoid personality disorder) which is a flaw of mine but I am learning to overcome it. I am always willing to engage because I love people but I am never the type to want to be the center of the conversation because I rather hear the person than myself and when I talk about myself I give a huge 3 hours synopsis of who I am and what I do 😭😂. I rather know others and then use their info to connect with them so I can fellowship/serve them as a friend for their lives. Another flaw I use to have but don't have anymore (but I am not perfect it can always come back) is people pleasing. This is from my past. I use to people please a lot but I don't anymore like that but I can still find myself doing it. I only accept people who accept me and ignore people who reject me but I always want to be accepting of others even in the mist of rejection because I know I'm good enough even from acceptance/rejection. I always love to make people's lives easier. I am an awesome cooker and extremely good and passionate at languages such as math. I love languages and coding on computer is one of tthem.I am very passionate about robotic technology and I play videogames for fun (powers/magic, fantasy, and sword fighting) but I would love to try new things as well as I am very inexperienced in life. I cannot believe I wrote this much but that is the synopsis of my life and I have more too XD
Another great video. Your top 5 are probably the most reasonable and yet the most looked passed qualities that most gay guys look past when it comes to finding someone they want to be with. I say this because when guys want to look for someone to be with they want to choose someone that can be compared to someone they idolize. However, that limits the other honest and good guys out there trying to find true and lasting relationships. The common today gay looks for someone that is either in the MASC or FEMM category then works their way down their list to see if their desires can be met in that person without ever getting to know that person. It sad because for guys like me when someone meets me the first question they ask is if I am FEMM or MASC, which is not a good way to start off a connection. If they really want to know the answer I say that I am 50/50 because I have my moments in each category but labels should not define or limit before ever meeting someone in person. Then it comes to HONESTY, I don't what has happen to society or relationship where someone can not be completely open and honest with their partner. One reason people don't like to be honest is because they can communicate well or don't feel that they can. Another is because they like the trill. Thirdly, maybe they have issues with commitments and dedication so they rather not be honest. These are two things I think as a community we should work hard to fix and work on. Because it will make a better upcoming and young folks in the community or emerging gay individuals. Personally I do not think what you're asking for in you items that you look for in guys is to much or not attainable. Good video. :D
I love your message about being compassionate and open-minded. You are really good at speaking. Your words have clarity and truth, and you exude very intelligent and calm vibes.
Zach, This video gave me so much strength and when you talked about all those stereotypes that most of us put ourselves in and how we split ourselves into different boxes... it brought a tear to my eye. For the first time I saw a guy who actually cared about how honest, confident a guy can be instead of instantly stereotyping someone into the 'MASC' or 'FEM' basket. Thank you Zach, there should be more people like you in this world.
The part towards the end where he talked about stereotypes is completely how i feel. I feel like a bunch of people call "gay" people feminine or "gay lesbians" masculinity or whatever. What pisses me off about that is that they love to compare someones personality with their sexual identity. I think being feminine has nothing to do with someones sexual orientation, its just who they are as a person, yeah there might be a good majority of feminine gay men, but who cares? being queer or gay is when you like thee same sex, not how you act.
I know this an old video, but I learned in my sociology class that it's okay to be deviant from the society that expects us to be a certain way. P.S. I am straight, but I support and respect LGBTQ rights
I want to say thank you Zach. I watched this video and listened to the 6 things you look for in a guy. It got me thinking about a situation I'm currently in. I had intentions of dating this guy, but his financial status isn't the best and I'm basically dragging his ass behind me. My best friend, her mom, and my parents all told me the same thing, "he's pulling you down with him and making you feel sorry for him." Watching this video made me finally realize this. Thank you for the help.
I agree 100% Those 5-characteristics are the most important to me as well although I'd list honesty and monogamy #1 & #2 but I think you did that too. Thanks! Love your videos. Oh! And I love the way you say "love." ❤️. Scott
Zach, my husband of 30 years (legally last year) and I love your videos. This was a particularly nice one. You have a big heart and you family should be very proud. I sure hope B is ok.
Wow. That's my impression of you. You know yourself, who you want, and have very set boundaries. That is huge! Best to you on finding "the guy". You are awesome.
I like your attitude, the five things you talked about in this vlog are the things I too look for in a guy, I always get picked on by some of my friends because they say I'm too picky or I'm not interested in an open relationship, oh did I mention that these were my ex-friends I like your attitude just be you that has always been my philosophy, keep up the good videos man
this guys attractive not just his looks but his mind, not alot of gay guys think that way and they're very judgmental about each other so he's right, and I've never seen gay guy with a deep southern accent miracles do exist lol
I like your honesty I like the way you think. You and I have much in common. And I will be praying for the both of you that you can continue what you are doing. Together for a long time. I am praying for happiness for both of you guys and health issues for your soulmate. Terry
You are too good to be true! You have an amazing heart, respectful, accepting, if you only you were 15 or 20 years older, oh well. You are gonna make some guy a very lucky man, you have a beauty within you that is all too rare. Don't ever settle, you sir deserve the best!!!!
I was lurking and watching a few videos of yours before I committed to subscribing. As soon as you said "Why does it matter if someone is 'masculine' or 'feminine'", I was sold. You're a cool dude. Thanks for being awesome.
Thank you Zach this is EXACTLY how I feel I’m looked down for being feminine because I love makeup and I wear women’s cloth SOMETIMES I still dress like a guy I love jeans and boots and hats...boy days! I’m still a GUY! You make me feel like there’s still guys out there that will look beyond that and see me as a person. Love you bro! Your hubby sure is a lucky man! 💋💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hugs and prayers go out to B! I've been through similar so I know that's stressful for you as well. Just want to say thanks for great videos with intelligent and thoughtful discussion and presentation. You rock!
Learning alot from listening to what you have to say! Thank you 😊. I'm not totally out yet but you are giving me courage and knowledge to achieve this!!!
Zach, I absolutely love your explanation about being genuine towards people and not judging people. The goals you have for finding a partner are admirable, and how you didn't mention femme or masc characteristics really shows something about your character. I'm glad I found your channel and I look forward to your future videos.
Your final statement is what I try to believe daily. I'm not masc, I'm not fem, I'm just me. Being gay can be difficult enough, but throw the labels in and it's, well for me the worst part of being gay! Much luv to you for saying it out loud. @eddle2005
I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your saying "you do you and F the rest" it goes straight to a point that many of us don't even realise that we are doing which is changing ourselves in little ways in order to make other people happy. Also you have an amazing accent.
It's not someone's fault if they particularly go for masc or fem guys, or a certain race... I don't consider it prejudice, it's just personal preference, as long as you're not hating on them for it.
I must admit that this video post surprised me more than I thought it would. I'd like to think that love will always be love and in nature, is very unconditional. But you said some things I couldn't have said better. And I do agree with your points. At the end of the day, we all are just someone who wants to be loved. Rooting that you and I will soon find the guy that'll fill in complete the puzzle we've been dreading to solve. Cheers!
I think some of our community and culture is obsessed and addicted to sex. Some of us are codependent and some are covert narcissists. The funny thing is that applies to straight people too.
Just want to say congrats on the subscriptions. I decided to sub too, you're videos are really nice, and you just have a general likability. The voice and looks help too, but you have a genuineness about you that's so great to see.
Dude! You're an amazing guy, you're intelligent, you have an open mind! You'll get the guy you need. Love is patient and love is kind. Glad I came across your channel, hope your days go well. Take care!
Thank you so much for making this video. I think it is so important to talk about issues like this. You're so right that it really shouldn't matter. Keep doing what you are doing man, you definitely got me to subscribe. Can't wait to see more from you.
So you are ridiculously mature, like I am done college and haven't figured this much out about myself. The way you distance yourself from prejudice put a smile on my face during my exam studying, so thank you :) Hoping you get more and more views so younger guys have a good role model!
"masc 4 masc" is a term people only use on dating/hook up apps. I would encourage everyone to get off those dumb apps and meet people in real life! You will be so much happier if you can get past the withdrawals. Of course easier said than done. I was on those things for 10 years before I finally realized that no matter how many profiles I have created a phone or a computer is not going to generate a boyfriend. LOL.
Wow i was a little taken aback by the title of the video but after watching it, RESPECT. Thank-you for being one of the rare jewels to break ice on this sham of a stereotype shaming!
Zach- I hope this channel works out for you and your message reaches more and more young people. I think you have a lot to offer in way of providing "distant guidance" or maybe just a sounding board to someone who needs it. For someone who is so young and relatively just came out; you have a strong sense of yourself. It's refreshing. Keep it up!
Preferences are one thing. Discrimination and hate/bullying/exclusion/degradation are another and TOTALLY unacceptable.
I fell in love with you lol you spoke the damn truth about the gay community and how "mascs" and "fems" are separated and are considered an issue. We're fighting against discrimination but we are discriminating ourselves.
Unfortunately, as an older gay male, I've experienced the "shallowness" of the gay community more often than not. I appreciate your words, Zach, and I hope it reaches those that need to hear and will respond accordingly. You are definitely a breath of fresh air! Enjoyin' your videos! Keep up the good work!
this was such a relief i was worried before finishing the video. Attractive and educated a seemingly rare combination these days
Anyone who doesn't get why Alastair looks at you with the most adoring expressions needs to see this video! You're amazing. Thanks for this one, Zach!!
Prayers to B and that he continues getting better. Lost my little girl a couple weeks ago after 14+ years of being gifted with her in my life. One of the most helpless feelings when you can't help your little ones.
I am so proud, so proud to see someone speak up for me. I have been struggling with dating and guys ridiculing me because i'm not "Masc" enough or because I'm not the race they think beauty is upheld by and because I don't meet their standards in general. It has really hurt my confidence and has made me feel like i'm undesirable. It is so heartwarming to hear someone finally speak up about this topic and this form of discrimination based on looks. I hope you keep making videos to educate and to stick up for us underdogs. thank you so much, and I look forward to watching more of your vlogs!
Not one of his Top 5 had ANYTHING to do with looks, zero. This guy is smart and sensitive and well-spoken!!
The openness of the current generation of gay kids on TH-cam and in life is amazing to me. Forty years ago when I was in high school, I felt like the only gay kid in the world. Realistically, I knew I wasn't, but I was way too scared to let anyone know I was gay, for fear that I'd be outed, bullied, and rejected by my "friends."
It does my heart good to know that fighting for our rights all those years actually accomplished a world where LGBT folks can plan a wedding, dream of having a stable marriage, raise kids, and otherwise live a "normal" life. Would I have liked to have those options? SURE. But at least you kids have them, and it makes me happy to know you do.
Keep posting, Zach. You give us older folks a boost just seeing how you can live a life that makes you happy.
Wow! It's so comforting to know that there are genuine guys like you out there. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to see guys in clubs acting so obnoxious and how unfaithful couples can be!
I love the way you disregard stereotypes of masc or fem. It shows the depth of your character that you focus on the person & heart versus a shallow stereotype. :)
Firstly, amazing qualities to select.
Secondly, I am so happy you spoke out about the internal prejudice within the LGBT+ community. The requirement to be "'masc" or "femme" is definitely frustrating. It's time people start accepting who they are and be them.
Truly admire your honesty!
a breath of fresh air in the gay community & youtube world.
2 videos in and i am subscribed for life.
I've recently started taking change of what I want in a guy, and this hits home. I never really comment on videos, but you have an incredibly positive outlook. I suffer from a crippling form of clinical depression, so somedays/weeks/months I can't be all I want for a guy. However, I've been giving a lot more and conversations like this give me rise.
Jon Howl l
I worked with Tom Hardy on the set of Mad Max. I was just a script assistant then but he was such a great guy. Intense. But lovely and polite - just don't interrupt his process. Absolutely hulking and gorgeous - and smelled great when sweating. Like musky sandalwood. He'd wink at me every conversation we had cuz he liked the way it made me blush.
Hey Zach, I'm Zach. Just want to say you're really insightful and it's cool to know there are other like-minded people out there man.
I think your outlook on life is really important and unique. Don't let TH-cam nor its comments influence your views or opinions.
Also I'm glad that you don't want to "advertise" your relationship as a means to get more views. It takes away meaning from your relationship. It's cool that you're really genuine and sincere about your relationship. You have my respect mate.
looking forward to viewing more of your videos
To me one of your most attractive features is your voice! Thanks for your thoughtful videos! 🐙
"Anybody that is ok with making somebody feel bad about themselves is not somebody that I want in my life." Preach Zach!
This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve watched in a long time. It’s not just what he says but how he says it. I couldn’t agree more
This fellow gives me hope for the future of our community. That hope is precious as gold.
As a new subscriber, I was nervous about watching this video. I was afraid of the direction it was going to take. However, Zach completely floored me with his non-stereotypical attitude. I have long said that Millennials will save the world - As evidence, I would point to Mr. Zach Garcia.✌️
Ugh. You're perfect. You described everything I look for in a guy as well! Good to know there are good, wholesome guys out there :).
Also, praying for your puppy dog!!
Started watching all of Zach's videos from oldest to newest for the second time. Love all of them.
You just described how I feel perfectly! Why are we creating a divide in our own community based on a person's level of masculinity? I love your videos! Keep 'em coming!
You're a man with wisdom far beyond your years. I also think you know your younger audience well and address really important issues.
I heard you say in a different vlog that you have had to tell Alastair that their are times when you're quiet and go deep into yourself and not to worry that you're mad or that something is wrong. You need time to think, to sort through and organize your priorities, your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams, your goals, your plans. You're a deep thinker. I think that's your most endearing quality -- you being you. You do it damn well, dude.
Thanks.
I really appreciate all of your videos and topics. You are very inspirational and very wise for your age. Thank you for all you do to motivate and help other people through posting your videos.
Idk why but it was really refreshing to me that you didn't mention a single word about any physical traits for a partner, mostly because being shallow is waaaay at the top of my dont list for guys.
Thank you for making this video. Everything you just said has really opened my eyes and I 100% agree with you.
It's really nice to hear more people say that we need to be more accepting within our own community. I have been literally begging for years for people to stop being petty and vicious to eachother. it drives me crazy that we expect hetero folks to accept us, but tear down others within our own community, no fats, no femmes, no Asians. I sovtire of that tag line. I have met so many amazing people because I don't care what you look like, how you act and where you come from. I love people and each and every one of us have a story, so different from our own, so amazing in its own right. I pray that the lgbt community gets it together and starts being more inclusive, there's already enough assholes in the world, do we really need to add to it?
I WANT TO LIKE THIS VIDEO 100000x, prejudice! That is the perfect word to describe the internal struggles of the community! It's why I never feel like I belong in the community!! I wish there were more people like you spreading the love in the community instead of the internal segregation
This guy is amazing like we need more gay guys like him representing the community
I know straight guys who would leave their wives foe Tom Hardy.
Zach, I know this comment is about four years late; but, I just recently came across your channel. I'm sorry about B's chronic illness; but, he was fortunate to have you as his human companion. I'm also glad that you found a wonderful person to be your husband!
This video says so many important things, not just to the LGBT+ community; but, to everyone. As a society we have, and continue to, waste so much energy on lashing out against people who aren't like "us". You spoke a lot of important truth in this post. I hope you didn't catch a lot of flack for doing that. Most of the comments I read were positive; but, I don't have the energy to read all 1.4 K of them. You pointed out to people, very importantly that not just the stereotypical, "southern white male heterosexual conservative" can be the perpetrator of oppressions, rejections, and hatreds. Each of us has our own standards for people we are comfortable with, that's fine; but, what we should not do is try to impose them on everyone else. I really appreciate your bravery and truth-speaking in calling out the LGBT+ community for overlooking the same sins within itself that it condemns in outsiders. God bless, and protect you, your partner, and all the people and creatures you care about.
I almost cried when you said "it's ridiculous when somebody feels insecure about their voice, or the way they act, or anything like that. That's just bull**it"" because that's how i feel every day.
YEA, i really like this guy, buts its easy for him to say because he naturally has had a very masc voice his whole life he would not understand
yeah, my voice is not masc, and the way i walk is even worse. I hate it sometimes.
i was ashamed of who i was because i was taught that "gay is bad", so i tried to be "straight". But through his videos, and other youtubers' videos, i am now proud of myself, being who i am, and i love myself more than ever. I appreciate his empathy, because it means a lot to me, and to other people who are like me.
That is so awesome. It took me years. When I semi-came out in the 80's, it was still the days of losing my job and being thrown in jail. And, of course, being beat to a pulp. Thank God times have changed. If you had told me this would happen so quickly back then, I would have said you were a fool. That's the true power of democracy.
Hi Zack, I stumbled upon your channel and watched a few of your video logs and I must say, you sir, are a breath of fresh air and have restored my faith in our community. For someone as young as yourself, you poses more wisdom than most about the entire picture of life and what it's all about. I came out in a time where it wasn't easy either, possibly more so than you experienced. That was 20 years ago, lol. I never really had any problems because my family was completely accepting and it was a non issue. Unfortunately, many do not have it that easy. I hope you can provide inspiration to so many youth struggling to understand their own sexual identity and I think you will. America needs more people like you. I wanted to say thank you for being you and I look forward to seeing more of your vlogs buddy. Rock on man. :) You're doing it right.
Wow, I am so happy he made this video! Like it's hard enough as it is to live in a world where the LGBTQ+ community is always in the crossfires whether it be at home, school, church or even television but then on top of that we divided ourselves into even smaller categories where finding "love" is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You are right life IS too short and I believe that we should focus more on who someone is rather than what category they are in soo keep it up :)
He does not have unrealistic standards. His standards were great and all about finding someone with a good heart and who is driven in life to be successful. I met most of them except I tend to be more introverted but it wasnt like he was saying I want someone masculine, who makes at least 60k, someone that is good looking, someone extremely fit, someone with no debt, someone who has never cheated, someone who has doesnt drink, do drugs, or smoke. He held it to a simple 5 and for him to know all this at such a young age is far impressive. I just went into my 30s and each time I go through a relationship I learn about myself and what would be more ideal for me in a relationship. And it is very hard to say ok well it failed because of this reason let me add that to my list of things I dont want in a guy. I definitely commend this guy.
Mine are I want someone active whether it be gym, running, sports, hiking, some sort of activity that gets you moving and keeps you healthy, someone that doesnt do drugs, someone that doesnt smoke, someone that believes family is important, someone that follows their passion in life but they have at least a backup a plan to carry out while they try to follow that passion n hopefully it is realized (example an actor who is a waiter). The important thing is that they tried and keep trying and if they fail they learn from that failure. Nothing wrong with making mistakes but it is important to learn from them. If you dont learn from them and improve you are constantly going to keep making the mistakes over and over again in all aspects of your life.
I laughed so hard when I realized that he meant 1-1 person relation ship, instead of 1 god only. I neeed my summer break.
Wow, what a person - knows what he wants, kind, warm and a great spirit. Some people could learn from him :)
I think you're awesome. you seem so nice and open minded, and it says a lot about you. keep making videos because I love these videos and you're inspiring. hope B is okay!!
Finally a gay youtuber with morals and respect for himself and the person he dates. I really respect you dude and these videos are great, keep it up! Subscribed.
You know you hit me right there, i hate how my voice sounds so feminine even if i don’t act feminine, any one can tells im gay from my voice this drives me crazy always
I personally love how you touched on this topic. If we were to get to know each other, I personally wouldn't fit all of the list but that's because that's me and I have flaws I am working on today. For example, I am not the type to lead. I am much of a follow behind kind of guy, not one that would take the lead unless of course it is a goal. I am very young so I haven't had much experience in life to grow to where I really know who I am. If you had a goal and I had one, I usually would put yours above mine because that's who I am. However, I am a empath (I can even feel others emotions to a degree) and am easily influenced by those closest to me. If you were to be a leader, I would grow into being one too but you'd still be the primary one in the relationship. I am also sensitive and incredibly observant and I kid you not, I am not a quick decision maker (unless I am experienced with the subject already) because I analyze everything and with patterns and detail. I am a compassionate catering person so I am always very quick and careful to encourage you, edify you, and comfort you when you are down. I struggle with confident person a lot unfortunately due to my background of being emotionally abandoned and criticized 24/7 by my parents (one as a step who is a narcissist and the other as a biological with borderline narcissism and paranoid personality disorder) which is a flaw of mine but I am learning to overcome it. I am always willing to engage because I love people but I am never the type to want to be the center of the conversation because I rather hear the person than myself and when I talk about myself I give a huge 3 hours synopsis of who I am and what I do 😭😂. I rather know others and then use their info to connect with them so I can fellowship/serve them as a friend for their lives. Another flaw I use to have but don't have anymore (but I am not perfect it can always come back) is people pleasing. This is from my past. I use to people please a lot but I don't anymore like that but I can still find myself doing it. I only accept people who accept me and ignore people who reject me but I always want to be accepting of others even in the mist of rejection because I know I'm good enough even from acceptance/rejection. I always love to make people's lives easier. I am an awesome cooker and extremely good and passionate at languages such as math. I love languages and coding on computer is one of tthem.I am very passionate about robotic technology and I play videogames for fun (powers/magic, fantasy, and sword fighting) but I would love to try new things as well as I am very inexperienced in life. I cannot believe I wrote this much but that is the synopsis of my life and I have more too XD
You have insight that takes some people a lifetime acquire. Good on you. Keep using your platform for good things.
Another great video. Your top 5 are probably the most reasonable and yet the most looked passed qualities that most gay guys look past when it comes to finding someone they want to be with. I say this because when guys want to look for someone to be with they want to choose someone that can be compared to someone they idolize. However, that limits the other honest and good guys out there trying to find true and lasting relationships. The common today gay looks for someone that is either in the MASC or FEMM category then works their way down their list to see if their desires can be met in that person without ever getting to know that person. It sad because for guys like me when someone meets me the first question they ask is if I am FEMM or MASC, which is not a good way to start off a connection. If they really want to know the answer I say that I am 50/50 because I have my moments in each category but labels should not define or limit before ever meeting someone in person. Then it comes to HONESTY, I don't what has happen to society or relationship where someone can not be completely open and honest with their partner. One reason people don't like to be honest is because they can communicate well or don't feel that they can. Another is because they like the trill. Thirdly, maybe they have issues with commitments and dedication so they rather not be honest. These are two things I think as a community we should work hard to fix and work on. Because it will make a better upcoming and young folks in the community or emerging gay individuals. Personally I do not think what you're asking for in you items that you look for in guys is to much or not attainable. Good video. :D
Great points about the masc/fem stereotypes! Totally agree.
I love your message about being compassionate and open-minded. You are really good at speaking. Your words have clarity and truth, and you exude very intelligent and calm vibes.
You are so smart! I wish your videos would have been around when I was growing up. You are helping so many young kids. Hope Bronson is doing well.
Zach,
This video gave me so much strength and when you talked about all those stereotypes that most of us put ourselves in and how we split ourselves into different boxes... it brought a tear to my eye. For the first time I saw a guy who actually cared about how honest, confident a guy can be instead of instantly stereotyping someone into the 'MASC' or 'FEM' basket. Thank you Zach, there should be more people like you in this world.
The part towards the end where he talked about stereotypes is completely how i feel. I feel like a bunch of people call "gay" people feminine or "gay lesbians" masculinity or whatever. What pisses me off about that is that they love to compare someones personality with their sexual identity. I think being feminine has nothing to do with someones sexual orientation, its just who they are as a person, yeah there might be a good majority of feminine gay men, but who cares? being queer or gay is when you like thee same sex, not how you act.
I know this an old video, but I learned in my sociology class that it's okay to be deviant from the society that expects us to be a certain way. P.S. I am straight, but I support and respect LGBTQ rights
Who knew that this video would be the reason him and alastair end up together
Fr
who are them?
I want to say thank you Zach. I watched this video and listened to the 6 things you look for in a guy. It got me thinking about a situation I'm currently in. I had intentions of dating this guy, but his financial status isn't the best and I'm basically dragging his ass behind me. My best friend, her mom, and my parents all told me the same thing, "he's pulling you down with him and making you feel sorry for him." Watching this video made me finally realize this. Thank you for the help.
You should should run for president bro hahaha. Everything you said was so true!
Your words mean so much. If only more people had your down to earth mentality. Keep up the good work boo
Just omg... your bf is super lucky to have such a wise, open minded, and sexy bf :( The rare package.
"You do you and fuck the rest!" Great message Zach!
I agree 100%
Those 5-characteristics are the most important to me as well although I'd list honesty and monogamy #1 & #2 but I think you did that too.
Thanks!
Love your videos. Oh! And I love the way you say "love."
❤️. Scott
Just keep it up, Zach, you're doin' great bein' yourself...you're a great guy.
Zach, my husband of 30 years (legally last year) and I love your videos. This was a particularly nice one. You have a big heart and you family should be very proud. I sure hope B is ok.
Wow. That's my impression of you. You know yourself, who you want, and have very set boundaries. That is huge!
Best to you on finding "the guy". You are awesome.
I like your attitude, the five things you talked about in this vlog are the things I too look for in a guy, I always get picked on by some of my friends because they say I'm too picky or I'm not interested in an open relationship, oh did I mention that these were my ex-friends I like your attitude just be you that has always been my philosophy, keep up the good videos man
this guys attractive not just his looks but his mind, not alot of gay guys think that way and they're very judgmental about each other so he's right, and I've never seen gay guy with a deep southern accent miracles do exist lol
I like your honesty I like the way you think. You and I have much in common. And I will be praying for the both of you that you can continue what you are doing. Together for a long time. I am praying for happiness for both of you guys and health issues for your soulmate. Terry
dude, youre an awesome dude.you are defintley going to find the perfect guy because you are a sweet guy.
+Franz Lizarzaburu-Collazos true that
"Do what you feel. Be who you are. Those who matter won't care. Those who care don't matter." -----Dr. Seuss
Thank you for yet another great video that made me "think." You have a sincerity & honesty that opens the hearts of many people. You have a gift!
Like it!?!? I loved it! :D
Nice speech at the end on the masc. vs. fem. topic, couldn't agree with you more.
You are too good to be true! You have an amazing heart, respectful, accepting, if you only you were 15 or 20 years older, oh well. You are gonna make some guy a very lucky man, you have a beauty within you that is all too rare. Don't ever settle, you sir deserve the best!!!!
I wish all gay men seek your values in a partner
Spot on man.......so nice to have you projecting your message in such a positive way that so many will look up to keep up the good work!
The comments on the traits you value and look for in a man are on the money, especially your comments on monogamy. Great vlog, keep them coming.
I was lurking and watching a few videos of yours before I committed to subscribing. As soon as you said "Why does it matter if someone is 'masculine' or 'feminine'", I was sold. You're a cool dude. Thanks for being awesome.
Thank you Zach this is EXACTLY how I feel I’m looked down for being feminine because I love makeup and I wear women’s cloth SOMETIMES I still dress like a guy I love jeans and boots and hats...boy days! I’m still a GUY! You make me feel like there’s still guys out there that will look beyond that and see me as a person. Love you bro! Your hubby sure is a lucky man! 💋💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hugs and prayers go out to B! I've been through similar so I know that's stressful for you as well. Just want to say thanks for great videos with intelligent and thoughtful discussion and presentation. You rock!
Oh Mah Gawd That Accent!
Learning alot from listening to what you have to say! Thank you 😊. I'm not totally out yet but you are giving me courage and knowledge to achieve this!!!
Literally my new favourite TH-cam EVER
Zach,
I absolutely love your explanation about being genuine towards people and not judging people. The goals you have for finding a partner are admirable, and how you didn't mention femme or masc characteristics really shows something about your character. I'm glad I found your channel and I look forward to your future videos.
Your final statement is what I try to believe daily. I'm not masc, I'm not fem, I'm just me. Being gay can be difficult enough, but throw the labels in and it's, well for me the worst part of being gay! Much luv to you for saying it out loud. @eddle2005
+Edward Heller Exactly
I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your saying "you do you and F the rest" it goes straight to a point that many of us don't even realise that we are doing which is changing ourselves in little ways in order to make other people happy.
Also you have an amazing accent.
That intro gave me anxiety
Someone so young with such wise words of wisdom is an eye opener. This ole timer wishes you well.
It's not someone's fault if they particularly go for masc or fem guys, or a certain race... I don't consider it prejudice, it's just personal preference, as long as you're not hating on them for it.
I must admit that this video post surprised me more than I thought it would. I'd like to think that love will always be love and in nature, is very unconditional. But you said some things I couldn't have said better. And I do agree with your points. At the end of the day, we all are just someone who wants to be loved. Rooting that you and I will soon find the guy that'll fill in complete the puzzle we've been dreading to solve. Cheers!
That voice... that accent... whew, color me weak in the knees.
Totally agree on all points. You'll make someone (and yourself) a very happy partner one day.
I think some of our community and culture is obsessed and addicted to sex. Some of us are codependent and some are covert narcissists. The funny thing is that applies to straight people too.
Just want to say congrats on the subscriptions. I decided to sub too, you're videos are really nice, and you just have a general likability. The voice and looks help too, but you have a genuineness about you that's so great to see.
7:36 is the best part.. I love it
It really was, I melted.
Dude! You're an amazing guy, you're intelligent, you have an open mind! You'll get the guy you need. Love is patient and love is kind. Glad I came across your channel, hope your days go well. Take care!
thank you for breaking stereotypes.
Thank you so much for making this video. I think it is so important to talk about issues like this. You're so right that it really shouldn't matter. Keep doing what you are doing man, you definitely got me to subscribe. Can't wait to see more from you.
I'm diggin you dude... love the truth your putting out!!!...
So you are ridiculously mature, like I am done college and haven't figured this much out about myself. The way you distance yourself from prejudice put a smile on my face during my exam studying, so thank you :) Hoping you get more and more views so younger guys have a good role model!
It is so refreshing to hear your eloquent speaking of these things. Oh, and it's not bad either that you are so damn gorgeous!
"masc 4 masc" is a term people only use on dating/hook up apps. I would encourage everyone to get off those dumb apps and meet people in real life! You will be so much happier if you can get past the withdrawals. Of course easier said than done. I was on those things for 10 years before I finally realized that no matter how many profiles I have created a phone or a computer is not going to generate a boyfriend. LOL.
perfect:)
if this guys ever says im batman i would 100% belive him only batman could have such a manly voice. XD
Wow i was a little taken aback by the title of the video but after watching it, RESPECT. Thank-you for being one of the rare jewels to break ice on this sham of a stereotype shaming!
I for real thought he smashed onto the side of the pool 😂😂😂
Zach- I hope this channel works out for you and your message reaches more and more young people. I think you have a lot to offer in way of providing "distant guidance" or maybe just a sounding board to someone who needs it. For someone who is so young and relatively just came out; you have a strong sense of yourself. It's refreshing. Keep it up!