WHEN GUYS ASK TOP OR BOTTOM
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ธ.ค. 2016
- The fascination with top and bottom.
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If I was with Zach and he said he was a top, I'd be a bottom. If he said he's a bottom, I'd be a top. Really.
The answer to the question is Versatile... This dude is totally versatile.
It's nobodys business, straight couples dnt get asked if they prefer missionary or doggy.
I know plenty of guys who are happy to be 100% bottom in a relationship, me included.
sameeeee
In my 9 year relationship, I've always been Top, he's always been bottom. He hates to top and I hate to bottom and sex is always intense since we are strongly attracted to each other. So yeah there's relationships that stick to one and can still have fun.
Well, in my humble opinion, there's nothing wrong in asking about top or bottom, and everything else in between if both parties intent on engaging in an intimate relationship. Communication is key to a healthy, sexual relationship. The problem is *how* one asks it:
"Are you a top or bottom?" (wrong)
"Do you prefer being a top or bottom, or are you versatile?"( much better)
And then one has to be prepared for the question and the reply:
"Why do you ask?"
"I only like to top/bottom" (wrong)
" 'Cause I'm attracted to you, and I want to see how I can please you." (better)
my brain still cant process a dog liking carrots that much
Again, great stuff here. You're wise beyond your years. A really good friend of mine once put it very eloquently: If you limit yourself to one or the other, you're missing out on half the fun! My standards are either 'Yes' or 'Why do you ask?'
Flip flop confirmed
lol
Versatile, ...I like it all! Give and Take is absolutely correct. Very much Single and looking for a gay long term relationship.
I love how determined you are to be reasonable, to not offend... but still to be authentically you. You show your lives together but keep the sacred... secret. Awesome.
As someone who dated in a time long before apps and the internet, when you actually had to go out to a bar and meet people, that question never seemed to come up. If you met someone and went home with them, it just seemed to work itself out. I never asked someone or was asked top or bottom before leaving the bar. Once you started fooling around you just figured it out. I think versatility in a one night stand or a relationship is essential.
Wes Phillips i agree
Yes WES for President.
Wes Phillips
Hi, I'm Daniel and am in a LTR of over 30 yrs. I love being a bottom and my spouse was a top. Sex was not a big topic back then and not a big part of our lives and careers. Now that we are older, my spouse has changed to be a bottom and opened and closed our relationship with 3 guys over a period of 2 years. He now wants a closed relationship with me and is willing and wants to stay with me. Now that Pandoras Box has been opened, I want the ability to have a close emotional sexual relationship with touching and feelings. He is very rational and I can be as well. I am a highly sexual guy who has taken good care of my body and it shows. I want to use new technology and play. He wants me to be celibate and live with him for another 50 years. I am 57, look and act 39-42 and want someone in my life to be with. Help!?! Do I Stay With Him in an open relationship, closed, celibate or sexual. We can't even discuss this issue anymore without a disagreement! CAN I HAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THIS SUBJECT?
Thanks
Daniel & Jim
I still manage to pick guys up online and in person at bars. I'm a total top. Concerning the top question, at the bar scene, the guys I go for tell me, verbally and physically, that they can tell I'm a top..... and they proceed to treat me the way they think I want to be treated: hands down my pants, grinding their butts up against my groin, other things.
Be careful about the type of men you go for. I'm not a desperate type. I don't go for the desperate types. How do I know? I don't. It's some sixth sense I've developed. I'm also not single so that helps. I'm up front with the men I meet.
I think some things are really best kept behind closed doors or between two people. Love is all that matters.
"Doing things over and over again isn't going to be fun" - this is so true unless we're talking about food. 😂
Just celebrated our 30th anniversary. While we started out as one top and one bottom the rolls have changed many times over the years. You should never label yourself, rather be open to the ebb and flow of each other's wants and needs. Everyone changes over time the key is to be open and communicate with each other.
Well quite simply the word is VERSATILE !
for a long term relationship the question of top or bottom is even more important. if we are not sexually compatible then it's not gonna work. I am vers and my bf is vers and vers men are the only men I would wanna date long term.
sad that that matters, to be honest actual anal sex is overrated and not overly necessary for love
Agreed 100% if ur not vers then u need to take a walk. Being a bottom does not make u less of a man. ITS WANT WE GAY MEN DO!!!!!!, Toping should be thrown in there as well. That's y gay sex is the best we both get what we want. Vers is the best.
Luke Lou i totally agree. i also dont thinking bottoming is feminine. being feminine is feminine. even straight me can bottom for there girl friends if they wanted to. i feel like a man both ways.
+Samuel115s if only there was more of u. And u fine as hell, wink wink.
Luke Lou aw thanks 😊😊
Darrell was adopted!! Yea for Darrell!!!!! Pheonix AZ came through for him.
I think that chemistry doesn't involve sexual role. I have had two long term relationships that really worked. One for 8 yrs when I was in my mid 20's and my soul partner for 25 yrs meeting when I was 42. I think my first relationship had no fixed role and we switched around adjusting to each other's needs and it was wonderful without a lot of pressure. In my second relationship I ended up almost the entire 25 yrs in one role, when I would have liked to switch back and forth now and then. I think the former was more successful sexually. However, the second, even with this potential handicap, was amazxing beyond my wildest dreams so much so that the role thing was not a problem. I think we have some work as a culture to eliminate the sort of shame with admitting one is a bottom or prefers that role.
Its been almost 6 years for us and what you end up realizing is that sex is sex. It just needs to be goooood! lol
Your bible is just a mere continuation of the Torah. If you are going to praise any mythological deity at least praise the correct one, Yahweh!
I want to know who's the top or bottom because I'm nosy as fuck. Plain and simple.
Gold-King Valmy at least you know yourself 😂
"It's a mutual give and take" why yes, yes it is
Agreed.
When you have a real connection, sex becomes secondary and everything falls into place 😂
You explained that beautifully. Just another reason you are a perfect match. Dude you guys are so
awesome
I wouldn't mind answering the question if the person asking wasn't placing a judgement on the answer. When I first came out, the men in my family were just concerned with "was I the girl". Now, I live in West Hollywood, and I am surrounded by fem bottoms, butch bottoms, straight bottoms, and some of the girliest tops you've ever met. And none of it matters. We all kiss boys.
JohnRobert Schoen Are you from the south because you just have that southern look?
New England
When people don't realize they are describing being versatile.
Drew Grey I
My partner and I have been together for almost 25 Years and it's not even a topic we discuss. When we become intimate, at some point it will naturally take a path which will decide which, both or neither. Allowing your intimacy to take a natural course is much more fun, loving and sensual.
i mean you basically answered the question without answering the question lol
but i do agree and have to say my partner and i are asked the same question A LOT
other gay people will ask “top or bottom”? and the straights will say sooooo are you the girl or the guy in bed?
that one makes me want to hurl something at them
Hey Zach, I've been with my husband for just under 20 years. You are right. The question need not come up until way later. And possibly by then it won't matter and the two will just enjoy each other...give and take. That's my 2 cents.
Dan Goodall-Williams Way Later? Maybe not way later...certainly sooner than later...gage your feelings for the person and the direction of the relationship.
My experience has been what Zach describes. In a LTR the roles change. And that keeps the sexual excitement in the relationship, but honestly in an LTR everything between the two people change and ultimately the most successful relationships and I hope Zach and Alistair find this that they are each other's best friend. That carries more weight than any sexual preference in a relationship.
I'm a bottom and have and will always be one buy Personal Choice.so I do ask a guy that first I only go out with tops.
Athena Ambrosia me too
A mutual give and take 😂😂😂
Confirmed.
Love it 💛💛
The right answer to this question is flip - flop.
imagine topping a bottom with a voice thad deep
Haya Aba 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Haya Aba I choked at this comment, lol 😂😂😂. but we can't condone this as it is a stereotype whether u want it to be or not.
Hayden Miller ikr
Let's face the truths: 1) Sex is important. 2) The roles in bed are important. 3) No need to be ashamed of being a Top or a Bottom. 4) YES, the question is necessary!
Every guy thinks about this question, some on the first date and others wait a while. I have found that having masculine characteristics, driving a Jeep, having muscles and being from a military background has put me in a box marked "TOP". But, this is not the case, being versatile is way better than being forced to wear a badge that tries to define your sexual position. I find that most guys want clear cut defined roles of who's going to be where in the bedroom. This gets damn boring after a while ..... open up your mind to explore what makes you feel good and who makes you feel good. It's all about pleasuring someone you care about and having that returned back.
Well, speaking for myself, I usually put a fem guy is a vers or a bottom box, but a masculine guy I don't always assume he is a top. I need to ask.
I think Alastair is very wise and would agree with his sentiments completely.
I think the question is important. There are people out there who are 100% top or bottom. My last boyfriend had never topped anyone. Most relationships usually break up over money or sex so yes I think the question is important.
When you said give and take tho! 😂🤣
If you're with someone that you love you don't really care ,whatever happens happens , that's love ❤️
I agree with u. I think give and take is fair
I think you're absolutely right ! No one needs to know ! Besides most times you switch roles 😁
I agree with you, i can't stand ppl asking that to me or someone. It is not important. If you love someone, you'll do whatever it takes to make it work. I personnaly adapt with the person, but i know i won't do one unique role all my life. But even with that we can find some ways to counter it, like toys and all.
When it comes to long term relationships being versatile works best. Why? Because your both together as one.
I was in a 5 year - he was total top and I was total bottom. It worked for us and we certainly felt "together as one".
We are talking LTRs.
marcus8902 lmfao
I always laugh at "Top or Bottom?" - because there are those men who are neither; hence the term "side." Even funnier are those who automatically assume based upon physical appearance or public personality.
Regardless, you hit it on the point when you said in the long run, it doesn't make any difference.
And different topic, it's not just older dogs who are having problems being adopted. I just adopted an older cat, and they are just as loving and fun as a kitten (and sometimes even more so!).
I should've mentioned that haha
I'm not looking for a hook up AT ALL, I want a real relationship. Romance, true love... but, to me, it is not an inappropriate question. If a guy ask me what rol am I, I'm just going to answer, but of course, if I know that his intentions are nothing more than sex, I will cut him off of my life immediatly, because that's what I ain't looking for. It's about what we are really looking for, not about a simple question.
The whole point of the matter is that it is a very private matter...when you begin dating someone for a long term relationship it isn't as relevant...in a relationship things just kinda flow..in the heat of the moment the couple just kinda figure it out...the best answer is actually BOTH...cause sex is not only about love, but it is about making sure both people feel that they are able to love and be loved in all different ways...I think a better terminology would be active/passive...the person being the active is wanting to please the other person as much if not more than themselves...the passive (receptive) person is mainly on the receiving end of the actions of the active partner...they are accepting and enjoying the actions of the other who wishes to please them...and if you take turns at this it probably would be the most enjoyable...at least the way I feel about it...but this can change from each encounter of love making...hook ups are sex, it is all about the orgasm, it is the wam, bam thank you man/maam...feelings aren't really as important to the participants...so the action that gets you "off" quickest or hardest is what you will want...so some prefer active (top), some prefer passive/receptive (bottom)...but in relationships it usually TRULY is about LOVE as much as orgasm...you enjoy not just the physical touch, but the emotional, and cuddle factor of just holding them...and some days you want to be more active and be the one to make the other person feel loved and make them orgasm because you want to please them as much as yourself, some days you want to be more passive, and enjoy someone pleasing you because they want to, and when you take turns at both....OH MY!!!...like everything else about relationships...it is complicated! LOL....if you TRULY love the person it will work out...
Thank you so much for bringing awareness to older shelter dogs Zach.
Two bottoms don't make a top. Two tops don't make a bottom.
TheFabulousTodd lmao
Zack, you are completely right when you talk about long term relationships, I've been with my Husband for nearly 10yrs now and married for 7yrs, we chatted online for nearly six months before we actually met and being a top or bottom never came up in conversation, to be honest it still hasn't, we just enjoy each other and whatever happens, happens, if you get my drift. You're advise, especially to your younger audience is invaluable, keep up the good work my friend x
Honestly, when people ask me that question I just don't say anything anymore. Because in a sense you are right, it shouldn't matter if it was something serious, and also that is personal information that no one really has no business to be asking other then someone you are going to sleep with or potentially sleep with.
i LOVE that you're promoting senior animal pet adoption! DO IT EVERYONE! OLDER PETS ARE AWESOME
Asking a top or bottom question for a long term relationship is absolutely important. Romanticizing about this and thinking it's inappropriate to ask someone you're actually interested in, seems a bit childish. Being sexually compatible is even more important for a long-term relationship prospect than it would be for a hookup.
Thank you!
Thank you for posting the video, a serious discussion about a topic that should be taken more seriously. I’ve been dating a guy for about 8 months now, we’re both older, both have been in relationships before, and we’re not living together yet. We didn’t even talk about sex for the first few weeks, we were just enjoying getting to know each other, discovering likes and dislikes, etc. At this point it looks like the relationship will continue to grow but the issue of top vs bottom isn’t settled and probably never will be. As you point out in the video, where ever we’re at right now isn’t necessarily where we’ll be next month or next year. Honestly, there is no set pattern. Sex is free-form and can be very different from one time to the next, and if it’s done right in the right relationship it takes on a spiritual dimension. My advice to those looking at gay couples and wondering who’s top and who’s bottom: don’t worry about it.
Sex is a main component in a relationship, if you aren't sexually compatible it can be a deal breaker in relationships.
Best explanation I have ever heard given and I love the rambling of vlogs it helps to show you guys are.
Zac this has provoked one of the best debates about our sexuality. Well done and thank you, lots of guys will find this very useful. Love from South Africa
Rob Brent verowerd was right
I totally agree with your statement. I have been married to my husband 20 years this November. Been together even longer. When you're with your partner time will pass by quickly. So much has changed in the last 25 years. The question of who was top or bottom was never a question we felt that we needed to answer. Maybe for a quickie or one night stand. In the beginning of a relationship it is a time of exploration, getting comfortable with one another and defining limits with another sexually. As time goes by these things can change for a host of reseasons. It is as critically important to focus on building a solid foundation that is capable of outstanding the test of time.
In our younger years prior to getting married we were like most gay couples working, living in the gay hood, involved in various gay sport and social activities. As our relationship grew it became aware to the both us things were changing within our relationships around us and what we needing from the gay community where we had lived since we met 91. We belonged to a large groups of gay professionals who all attended the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas. Most of our group found themselves following careers that pulled them different directions across the Country. Several of us started families. We found ourselves moving out to the rural suburbs to raise two wonderful boys who today are two fine heterosexual men. Over the years it is important to reconnect with one another and make sure that the two of you are still connected. We happen to love camping and spending time outdoors. My career path in the medical field of social work has finally taken a second seat to those more important things in life. We enjoy pulling the truck and trailer down to the Texas Hill Country or flying somewhere for a quick getaway. My husband's job in airline mgmt has been there long enough to enjoy those benefits and allow for us to get away for some longer trip's to reconnect as well.
We each have gotten older but with age comes change. Some changes you can control and some you can't. Love replaces the physical act as you and it is a beautiful thing. We met a couple woman in their 70s who still have the same passion they just lack the physical ability. The same with a male couple who met in the Vietnam War and still love each other today as they did the day they met in the fields of Vietnam.
I really do appreciate the way you spoke about the subject matter, and you also made me think about it, too...Thank you.
Im a 100% bottom so... when im finding a mate of course he's gotta be a top 100%. There was this time when i hooked up with another bottom, neither of us asked, we just assumed because we both act masc. Until it was too late and then things got awkward and we ended up leaving. So yeah! I think it's important to know if the person you are interested in is a top or bottom. Unless you are versatile, then that wouldn't matter.
This! This! This! Being a total bottom and hooking up with another bottom because you didn't discuss it beforehand is just a waste of everyone's time. Some of the comments on here are crazy! Never apologize for who you are.
Everyone has his or her own "non-negotiable" list. What is relevant to someone else may very well not be relevant to you. It depends on personal perspective. If you were a vegetarian and only wanted to date another vegetarian (and not a meat eater) wouldn't you want to know if whoever you were courting was a vegetarian before you invested time into the relationship? Do you want kids? Are you allergic to cats? Dogs? Do you smoke? Drink? Christian? Pagan? Jewish? Republican? Democrat? Penetrative sex is awesome? Penetrative sex is gross? Like oral? Hate oral? One night stand? Long term relationship? Hiv status? Married? Single? All are valid issues to someone out there. Wanting to know if someone is top, bottom, or versatile should not invalidate who you are nor should it invalidate you if it does not matter to you. For me personally, I just don't want to waste anyone's time in engaging in something that is doomed to failure from the outset due to a lack of communication.
Tops looking for bottoms, bottoms looking for tops, I'm just a vers guy TRYING to find another vers!!!!
When people I had no intention of hooking up with asked me this question - out of apparent "curiosity" - I would always advise them that limiting themselves strictly to one or the other leaves them missing out on half the joy of lovemaking. That turns a busybody into someone questioning their own sex life instead.
the top or bottom question is a copy-paste of porno on everyday's life, the idea of incompatibility is based on a finite stereotype that declares a top must be with a bottom otherwise it doesn't work.
Think and don't be shallow, human relationships are richer than that guys.
In my personal experience (hanging out with friends and my friends' boyfriends) most of the time only bottoms will get offended when asked their preferred positions. Tops usually just answer "I'm a top" and get along, but bottoms mostly get offended or say "why would you ask/say that". I've noticed that being a bottom is such a taboo, usually associated with being feminine or femme, so a lot of guys don't want to be put in that position. Gay men are even more homophobic than heterosexual people, which I find very sad.
I personally don't mind when people ask me my fav position, though. Being versatile as Zach said has a lot of advantages, and you just don't have to worry about your partner's preferences. I do think you get to enjoy sex even more, spacially if your partner is vers too.
My boss is gay, we talk over coffee every morning and he's 45 and been with his lover for 21 years and he was and still is the bottom so i guess it does work for some people. There nothing wrong with being a total bottom, they enjoy being the bottom.
So suck it up Zach, you couldn't ride Allister like you did all those other guys you screwed and dumped, now you know what it feels like to be a bottom lol
lol he don't like it YET! but he'll come around
Exactly. It feels great. It's his ego.
Sometimes "GUYS ASK TOP OR BOTTOM" because they want to imagine what you look like having sex! It's not always the worst-case scenario...
Totally agree with youuuu! Be mindful. Being a top or bottom I'm sure doesn't matter that much if your in a committed relationship.
😆 I love how he chuckles at his unintentional pun, then bashfully concedes and says "I'm a child" apologetically
I think when your getting to know someone it's something that can wait. I agree with what your saying Zach too though in certain situations it can be asked.
I really learn something new, every time I watch you. Thanks.
I have been with my partner going on 11 years, and there is a lot of truth to not wanting to play the same role but versatility is a huge part of our relationship
Yeah man..My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He is mainly the bottom but as time goes by, you have to be more open minded and willing to allow your partner to explore with you. Nice video dude
Uh, plenty of guys don't want to be the TOP all the time.
I'm sick of this stereotype. Most gay relationships are mutual (I mean most, not all) . Some people think there is a feminine guy and a masculine guy. But this is not true. Most of the times it's just two guys.
Back in the 70s and 80s they used to use colored handkerchiefs to indicate preference. If you had a dark blue handkerchief in your right pocket, you were a top, if it was in your left pocket, you were a bottom. There were other colors were for different activities but right pocket was always dominant.
bokesnmokes Good to know!
Up until I watched this I can honestly say that I'd never thought about it when asking or being asked about who is the top/bottom, you have really given me a new outlook on the subject.
I will admit that I have asked more than a few guys about their preferred position and I have stopped talking to a few of them based on their answer I never really thought further than a few months ahead while i was interested in the answer but I never really thought it through about the potential relationship being bout give and take, about the fluidity and change that most relationships require.
I thank you for opening my eyes to something that I was blind to and perhaps now I might find it easier to find the right guy for me when I'm not dismissing anyone based on their preferred position.
I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me if I was top or bottom, I would just tell them, in a relationship or not, like tf why would I get mad for a stupid question like that?
This Bitch thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu! ❤️
Yes it's a very good question, some guys are total bottoms and we all know two bottoms don't make a top, they will be out there looking for a top, it's like why should I waste my time on you when we both want the same thing, yes you will eventually have to ask the question
You are so right about that. I like your trend of thought.
When he said give and take and I died😁😁😁😁😂
Answer to the title: top or bottom is for a hook up, not for a relationship (they're vers) Lol 7:00
I'm versatile, is the correct answer. The term "Bottom Shaming" is such bullshit. Top and bottom are positions, not ranks. I don't know why people get it into their heads that one is better than the other. Lovemaking has nothing to do with judgment. Just STOP IT, everyone, and get over the ridiculousness on this topic. It used to be that you'd meet someone you were mutually attracted to and go home with no discussion. You'd both get naked and things would go from there... The labeling of everyone is such a waste of time and detracts from all of us.
I love listening to you talk sometimes, you've always got me thinking..... and Allister is one heck of a smart guy.
agreed
I consider myself versatile and tend not to ask, see how things go & sometimes you get told as to whether their top or bottom. Sometimes it’s more a preference of the individual which will change over time.
I'd only ask this one question... three-way?😂😂
I Agree. I've been with my partner 20 yrs in December and while I prefer bottom and he top, we switch it up occasionally. Keeps things Fun!
Such a mature outlook for one so young. Great relationship!
If you think about it, it is rather inappropriate to ask someone that. Would you ask a straight/married couple that question? Most people (I think) would say that's disrespectful, what a wife and husband do in the privacy of their bedroom should be of no concern to anybody, and the same should be said for gay couples too.
At 55, I've seen several changes in the gay community over the years, and as a vers guy, the answer to the question has always been "yes". When I first came out in the 80s, the campest people were tops and the butchest, most masculine men were total bottoms. Then over the course of a decade, it changed, with tops the most masculine guys and bottoms the most out camp. then it changed to what I grew up with again. Each time it changed, the number of versatile guys increased, and we would be all masc or all camp depending if we were chasing a top or bottom that night. I've had one relationship where he was the total top, and a subsequent one where he was the total bottom, and another where the top was not decided before, where we took turns.
But for others to be concerned about who is top or who is bottom in a relationship between two men seeks to make that couple conform to expected gender stereotypes: that one will always be the bottom, playing the wife, while the other will always be the top, playing the husband. That is exactly what you are asking a couple when you ask "who is the top and who is the bottom?" You may as well be asking the religious right question "who is the wife and who is the husband?" Does it matter to *you*, or will you, like the religious right person think less of the bottom than you do of the top? Is it prurience or is it to do with bottom Shaming? "Oh xxx, takes it all the time, he's the wife in the relationship, the good little woman, the hungry slut". Bottom shaming is part of increasing stigma against the LGBT community, the enforcement of gender roles that sees women as lesser than men, and therefore sees the bottom as a woman (or even less than a woman who *never* does anal (even though research shows around 57% of women have tried it), and therefore less than the man he really is.
neonachas This is the true answer. The obsession with sexual roles in gay relationships ties into the concept of heteronormativity and the value people place on being in the giving/receiving position. We live in a society that sees women as lesser beings, and in many ways views sex as a representation of power dynamics with expectations of powerful "tops" and weak submissive "bottoms" (represented by the man and the woman in a heterosexual template). This template is then applied to homosexual relationships and used as a way to discriminate against the receiving partner who is seen as less powerful and thus less valuable. This discrimination is made even worse in male gay relationships by the fact that the "weaker" man is seen as unable to fit the expected power role that is applied to the male gender identity, and thus is considered a failure in some regard.
So really, the top and bottom discussion and the issue of "bottom shaming" is just a side effect of deeply entrenched misogynistic ideas, based on the idea that women are less powerful/less valuable, and any man who adopts a similar position as a woman is even worse (these are not my views. I'm just trying to represent those of the society at large. Also, sorry if I sound too geeky. I did a paper on this topic for a sociology assignment on gender roles and this was a rather interesting association).
Imo Emah well said
I enjoy a very happy relationship with my partner. We never got around to asking that question. We dated and the relationship grew. I can tell you this: versatility and the willingness to try new positions to keep sex fun has lasted for all this time. So I guess it really doesn't matter. The important thing is to both please each other and share intimacy without fears or labels. Relationships need to last beyond the bedroom. Big hug!
Great video. Totally agree with you on the stance that every relationship has to have versatility to work. Of course curious mind will always want to know. Congratulations on your relationship, and that voice. Wow!
I would like to think you for clearing that up about top or bottom. It makes a lot of what I am going throw about trying to find someone to be the reason I am still single after all this years and way nobody stay with me. I wish you guys the best and thanks again. I see my life alone from here on out. It does make me know it was me.
I am into my second 15 year relationship, and when dating either that question never came up. We just went with what was comfortable, and as it turns out I am versatile, because one or the other of those positions may not suit my mood at any give time. Sometimes I like being the bottom and other times I liked being in control in the top position. But I will say this, until a man can take the bottom position, he will have no idea what it is like to be totally vulnerable and trusting, which can also be a turn on. It will also give butch men a real close-up of what women feel when being topped.
So do must shitdicks stick with one position?
33Diamond33 idk about shitdicks because I clean myself all the way out but I would get bored with s complete top or bottom
ahh...thank you for enlightening me why i feel awkward when asked if I am top or bottom. I agree, it isn't necessary if your intention is for a long term serious relationship. I get your point, when you get to bed, you will surely just kmow how much you can do and give to the person because of love. That is the reason why its called love making 😁😙😘
That opening was awesome.lol
I've been in a six year relationship, we are about to be married. We are both versatile, we love it that way. We both get equal pleasure, and no dominance in our relationship. We treat each other as equal.
They are versatile
I have been in a 9 year relationship we are both tops. We don't bottom we are both monogamous. We have a great friendship and love life. Ppl always just assume because I am shorter. He is 6'3 and I am 5'11. I am automatically the bottom. They never believe me anyways. And other gay people. Think it's absurd we are both tops. We are happy. We have been together from our late twenties to late 30's. We love each other where we never seemed to have a problem or issue in that area. It seems everyone obsesses over it.
If you don't mind me asking, how does your sex life work? no penetrative sex involved? Don't get me wrong, I myself am not into penetrative sex and still can enjoy sexual intimacy, but people like me is rare, so I am curious how you make it work.
how can you two have sex if you're both top?
Suffi Azi honesty it's just not a problem. I guess for others it's a problem for it it just works. The details aren't family friendly for this context but we both release. There is a lot of passion in the multitude of other things we do. I think we are very passionate still in the other person acts we express intimacy. Besides isn't sex about releasing so to speak. I mean we still have orgasms and 95% of the time. It's at the same time. I guess we are more rare than we realized.
KaGamer123 well we don't have penetration but we have lots of passion and intimacy in other ways. We still have fun after 9 years. Between 4-6 times a week. The love life is good. There just isn't any penetration but I think there is a lot of passion still and that makes up for anything else. The ability to make someone still very desired and very wanted after all these years still count for a lot. I strongly believe that kind of intimacy and passion makes it work. I have always felt very desired by him even with the lack of actual penetration. And there are sooo many ways to still orgasm. Which is the point is sex since we can't actually produce children.
We are rare but not non-existent. I wish more gay people would get into frot because frot it hot and fun and sexy and mutually satisfying and face to face, man to man. I always say "try it, you'll like it."
To me, Zach, it really doesn’t bother me at all. I totally agree with Alistair that it isn’t anybody’s business but for the couples themselves. I really love your TH-cam channel, I follow you & other TH-cam folk as well. I’m just a fan of yours from bonnie Scotland 🏴 & you’re so interesting & funny as is Alistair. I really liked your tee shirt 👕, the design with Bronson on it. Take care of yourselves & best wishes.
The scene with the dog and his voiceover was funny 😂