@savannahmaddux So sad! I'm not saying they aren't annoying as shit sometimes, but I can't imagine the whole life culture shock they experienced and still experience upon moving into their marital homes. It's like the end of M. Night Shyamalan's The Village, running away from the 17th century, through the woods, and coming out onto a 21st century highway. How could you even begin to transition? And how would you integrate the fact that the illusion was created and forced upon you without your consent, without regard to your health and actual safety, to control you and everyone in the group?
Bethany: "The Barbie movie is so mean to men, I would hate if it made my son feel bad." Dave (with joy in his heart): "I'M JUST KEN, ANYWHERE ELSE I'D BE A TEN!"
i'm genuinely happy for her. she could've had the misfortune to get married to someone who would've used her morals to their advantage but instead she got dav, who lovingly pushed her to get out of her shell more and more until she did and she still currently is.
I remember when angelica had such a sanitised and polished TH-cam channel persona but now that we get to see more and more of her personality it's soooooo refreshing! Love the hour long video, keep em coming ❤
@@AJtheSirenkind of, she's a terrible person so I hope he doesn't have the same views and can deconstruct her enough that she can finally accept she's terrible and change for the better
@@canesugar911 obviously 💀 but if he's deconstructing there's gonna be path devide between not being able to fix her and continuing to be with an abhorrent person
I grew up very religious and very Christian, so I'm speaking directly from experience when I say that people like Girl Defined are EXACTLY why I'm no longer religious and why I stopped going to church
That's unfortunate that the church hurt you, however Jesus would never hurt you. Hopefully you find a personal connection with him again, he is the living water, not the church.
I think this is why a person needs to explore religion outside of the immediate culture they are raised in (though i understand it might be difficuilt for some to do so). I’m born into a religion and I’m practicing but i have gone out of my way to actually learn and seek answers and not rely on family and culture. Otherwise i would have gone insane lmao. Unfortunately more often than not, when religion is explained/rationalized through culture, it makes for the most horrendous and traumatizing experience for the people practicing.
@@p.c1892oh no, honey, it wasn't the church people themselves that hurt me; I had a VERY loving church family and I still love them to this day! what I have a problem with is RELIGION ITSELF, if that makes sense, and the whole idea that God will send you to hell forever if you choose not to worship him... and honestly, I don't WANT a relationship with God because I've tried that and I'm just not interested 🤷🏽♀️
I will say, as harmful as they have been it does seem that they, especially Beth, have realized that it was toxic and hopefully seem to be moving towards a better mindset and im glad she is spreading more support to young women even if it does feel cringey compared to her old content
@@SolitudeDayysshe has never acknowledged her mistakes and keeps pushing harmful christian retoric in between all of the good stuff she is discovering. How was angelika too harsh?? Bethanny is the hypocrite lol
The Cody Ko and Noah reaction video will never not be fucking hilarious. Mr. Struggles was introduced to my vocabulary and I’ll be eternally grateful for it
I was raised Catholic and I distinctly remember one instance of being shamed for exploring my body, I was told that masturbation would lead me to develop reptile skin as a curse from the devil. Purity culture and the intense shaming around sex is what made me leave the church and become atheist. I wish more people realised how much it ruins lives. I now strongly believe that waiting until marriage to have sex to remain “pure” for someone is a *huge* mistake. Side note: Bethany’s hypocrisy is wild to witness 💀
Exactly!!! I was raised extremely Christian and when I chose to get an apartment with my boyfriend at 19 my father told me that he was religiously responsible for me until marriage so this was a failure on his part. I was made to feel bad from both parents despite neither of them waiting until marriage. I was raised in purity culture and that's one of the reasons I have been in therapy for years.
As a catholic some of the things ex Catholics tell me they were told is so wild. It really sucks that religious people don’t see how they push people away with their judgment and now when someone learns someone is religious they think they are mean judgmental people when it’s should be the opposite. I am so blessed that my church is so loving and accepting. When I got pregnant at 18 I spoke with my priest who is also a good family friend and he told me I don’t need to get married no matter what anyone says that I need to make sure I go to school and have a plan for my life. Anyway sorry for my rant it just gets me so mad how awful people will be in the name of religion when they themselves are going against what religion stands for.
It's crazy the whole masterbation will lead to lizard skin rumor the church started bc it's really obvious that doesn't just happen to other people.. like why not pick somethin that's not so obviously untrue lmao
I really hope Dave is doing ok and that he keeps working with his therapist because I’m not going to pretend that I know what’s going on in their life together, but I’ve struggled really bad with those “fantasies” and the one thing that ALWAYS brought me back down to earth was thinking about how HEARTBROKEN my husband would be… Hearing him say the thought of her feeling bad made the fantasies “more compelling” honestly makes me so sad.
same, i definitely understand what he means by that though, bc can't speak for him ofc, but in my experience it can come from a place of isolation and overall struggle with depression. in the past i would think about how people around me would react if something happened to me, and i think these kinda thoughts are often specifically centered around not purely anyone feeling bad for the hell of it, but as a way to picture people caring so much about you that they'd be upset. ofc its really fucked up still, but it's something that can be kinda common in s**cidal ideation, and if he's still in a place where it's compelling then agreed he definitely should keep seeing his therapist and i hope he's able to work through it. really feel for him on this honestly, bc i've been there
Ngl I feel like mentally Dav is not religious, but he wouldn’t say it out loud because that would risk him losing his family, friends, and the foundation he’s known his whole life. It can be scary to fully come to terms with when you grow up that way. It would be interesting if he ever came out would that harm his relationship with Bethany or would she realize she could possibly make more money doing the Fundie turned Atheist grift 💀
I was raised in a ***very*** religious household. I left when i was about 16 but was forced to keep attending church until i was 19 (and my father passed). Being out of the religion but in a church really opens your eyes to the cracks in the foundation. I see so much of the way i was raised in those two girlies, and i hope they can find peace and freedom in whatever way that means to them
it's actually really sad t how Bethy doesn't even realize how much she's changed because she's actually in a really healthy relationship with a man who wants her to be her authentic- self. We stan Dav around here.
I'm having a chronic pain flare up and started my period like 3 hours ago... I know you didn't do it for me, but thank you for doing this for US. QUEEN. An hour to distract my mind from pain and actually get to cook dinner for my family AND maybe clean up after is everything right now, seriously
Ugh chronic pain and periods is the WORST - especially inflammatory conditions (like the one I have) - always makes the period worse. Distraction is amazing help (along with portable heating pads!) Hope you get some good rest and your flare up chills out!
50:50 I like that at very least Bethy is listening to him. Like she's not entirely opposing him. She's on the path of being a feminist. You can be Christian and a feminist. Let's give her a while.
The cute moment between Bethany and Dave makes me believe that no matter what they have the ability to get through almost anything together. Not fully seeing eye to eye with your partner on something like religion is a big thing but they clearly love each other anyways. Dave seems like an incredible man. I also don’t think either of them will ever been completely atheist. Agnostic maybe. But as someone who grew up deeply religious it’s kind of hard to say you don’t believe in a higher being at all. Not because it’s what you think but because it was engrained into you for so long. I haven’t been a practicing Christian in 10 years and I don’t believe in any one god or worship anything but it’s also hard for me to conceptualize there being nothing at all. I just think we don’t understand it and we never will and that’s okay
Yeah like I just hope they keep moving toward the right direction but I never see them being outright fully detached from believing in higher power. Like that’s totally okay I’m just happy they are trying to work through some of these things and bringing that to the platform they were already using, not that it’s a full back pedal but hey! They’re opening themselves to dialog! They’re keeping their minds open to a degree and I hope it leads to them living happier, less constrictive, lives and I hope the people they influence can too.
I love longform content like this! I get major ick vibes from the summary of Girl Defined. I appreciated the quick rundown because I must live under a rock. I've heard the name before, but didn't have context. I'm still watching, just wanted to say hey and you're spectacular and be good to yourself.
I also think to go from don’t think about sex, dont talk about sex, don’t ask or educate anyone about it, don’t show anything that could be even potentially sexual, you’re the cause of men ‘stumbling’ all over the world 🙄 to kissing in front of everyone at the alter & supposed to suddenly be comfortable w/ your & your husbands body being naked around them MUCH less a sexual being is preposterous. A lot of ex-fundies have said they dk what an orgasm was or how they got pregnant or even exactly what certain sexual activities were. They didn’t have sex ed, no one spoke of it. I bet it would be scary, beyond nerve racking to have sex the first time, then it’s a quick letdown you dk if you two did it wrong or if it was supposed to be more, it’s awkward to discuss in those marriages cuz they never learned how to. It’s a LOT & they don’t know where to turn. So I agree w/ her that they need to find a way to talk about it but it’s also ironic coming from her, especially w/o either of the girls taking any accountability for harmful rhetoric they pushed that was part of the prob. End rant sorry.
I think not talking about sex also allows for more abuse to continue through the church because these people don't have the vocabulary to describe it and they're super ashamed of anything even remotely sexual.
Rejecting one's own body and sexuality for 30 years is inevitably going to cause some developmental delays. They essentially have to go through various aspects of their teens and 20s, and you can't necessarily expedite that. They have created their own physical and mental and intellectual hurdles. It doesn't have to be that way and it shouldn't be that way. Good luck to them, they're gonna need it
This video was so fun! Really felt like besties having a tea session ☕ Damn. Bethany seems to be growing. Dav is having such a good influence on her! Love seeing it. He truly is a king 👑
I did not think a girl defined video could make me this emotional. I’m actually so happy for them both and they are now probably the first internet couple I’ve ever thought I’d be crushed to see break up. Wish them both the best ❤️
Dave is God sent. (Pun intended) Honestly though, it's always better late than never and even though she might have contributed to doing harm, we should keep in mind that religious trauma is a real thing and it takes a lot of work and time to unlearn things you've been told were undisputable. I hope they can continue to progress as a couple and that B can see the light some day soon.
I really like Dav. He seem like a chill nice guy and I think he’s been really good for Bethany. It makes me happy because I grew up just like her and it is so so hard to break free from and it’s so damaging to think that way.
Most TH-camrs lose their authenticity as they grow - Angelika did the opposite and became more and more vibrant and personal. It’s such a pleasure to watch your videos ❤
It is a lot of progress in a short anount of time. Although I think Davs journey started long before, its good to see him spread his level headed take, saying everyone thinks their intepritation of their religion is right was spot on! Him showing that men aren't just uncontrollable lust monsters is great and hes a good role model. I am honestly very impressed that Bethany has been able to realize how harmful some views she was taught are, I would be so intereste to know if shenwas interally stuggling even when filing girl defined content. I think its great that she wants to help prevent other peope from struggling the same way and that encouraging mastirbation can still be serving God! I hope christians actually listen to Bathany because it is an improvement on what she used to say before and is kuch more nuanced. Some peope still stuck in that conservative ideology will be not ready to listen to more mainstrema pelple, or be put off by the more direct approach, so I think this sort of content might be able to reach them.
I highly recommend the series Rachel Oates did on Girl Defined. She goes in depth on the courses and especially Bethanys change. Super interesting, super long, in-depth. Rachel makes fantastic content
Your video is the best take I’ve seen on this yet… also very much appreciate the humor. It’s so unclear to me how they have literally no faith in human restraint but also rest everything upon human restraint…. Like wha??
As someone who grew up in the church and who is a Christian married woman now, the narratives that Christian women shouldn’t enjoy sex or that sex is dirty is not universal. I grew up in the context that sex *is* for marriage but that it’s a really beautiful for both husband and wife to enjoy. If I ever did have a question I always felt very comfortable asking my parents and my husband and I waited and our sex life has been great. There was obviously a learning curve, but we do not regret our choice at all. It greatly increased our intimacy (read: emotional) and trust with one another. I also would like to say, sex is a really important part of marriage, but honestly there are things that are more important. Do you and your partner have the same values? Are you emotionally connected? Sex is not the end all be all of a good relationship. The plain fact of life is that at some point as you and your partner age, sex just isn’t going to be a reality, and you have to have more as a basis to your relationship than just a good sex life. I feel horrible for the women who feel that sex is just a chore or whose husbands don’t know how to pleasure then when they first get married, but that’s the thing: you can learn how to make your partner feel good. You literally have years to perfect it. 🤦♀️ No one wants to talk about emotional risks of having multiple partners and cohabitation. Statistically, these choices do lead to higher rates of divorce down the line. If that’s your choice then that’s up to you, but let’s not tear down women who do choose to wait. Importantly, I have never been a fan of girl defined (their videos were off putting to me) and I can’t say I support Bethany, I just felt that the characterization of Christian culture around sex was somewhat misrepresented.
i absolutely love that you're covering this! I follow a lot of athiest/deconstruction content (Zelph on the Shelf, Rachel Oates, Jimmy Snow, Fundie Fridays, etc), so it's really cool to see another perspective on this who doesn't solely focus on religious content!
This video is probably my favorite cause it feels like I’m talking with my bestie about self-cultivation and sexual experiences and it’s giving my soul all of the things!
This was really well done and I liked this in depth look into a topic that actually kind of matters rather than the typical short summary of some shallow TikTok or TH-cam drama. This was great, thank you
Swoop and Angelika making Girl Defined content makes my workday so much more bearable. (also. even thinking about having my first ANYTHING in front of my family makes me SHIVER. says me. a 30 year old)
I love how you covered this, I feel like I’ve only heard very fragmented pieces of all of this and I love the way you organized it! Also rly hoping for more Bethany/Dav/Reaction Channels content crossover 👀
I am a Pentecostal Christian and I understand much of what they shared. But on the other hand, I disagree with a lot of what they have said too. I thank God that in my environment more and more people are open to talk about the issues that we ourselves have made taboo. Sex is not a shame, nor there are things that are supposed to be holy and others that are not. Watching Bethany and the way she deals with some topics makes me think that in order to justify or "convince" others of her purity she has chosen almost meaningless terms (at least I see them that way), for example "godly" and "ungodly". Perhaps, my doctrine is different from hers and that is why I do not agree with much of what she said and says. In my opinion, and after learning, if it is an activity that is causing you physical and emotional harm, it is not right. I do know that the church has caused a lot of harm and it saddens me that because of flawed people acting on their own understanding many have stopped believing in a God who does not fail. Sorry for saying so much!
This was such a fun video, thank you for the positivity, the length, the vibes, this video kept me going in between school for two days ❤️it is hard to look back on how you treated yourself and others due to religion and I love how you talked about everything with so much kindness 💖 girlboss
been watching your videos for years and im so excited for this long form content!! all my friends know i watch ur videos and ur referred to as ‘my british girl w the tea’
i've been watching you when you had like 10k subs and seeing how much you've evolved and getting to see more n more of your personality makes me so comfy !! you're my comfort youtuber and now it just feels like a cute lil gossip session with my bestie its crazy :)) you've been there for me since gcses and now im in my third year uni its insane how fast the time has gone by !! sending you all my love and can't wait for your next vid
I love this. Like I’ve always hated girl defined tbh, but this is the first video that I felt like really dove into them in an unbiased way and explored how they are and are not growing, which is cool. It also makes what criticism you did give along with excitement for their growth seem so much more powerful
I grew up LDS and it was girls and women like them that started my body confidence issues. Im larger chested and I was CONSTANTLY accused and told that I was causing boys to stray. I was told that after doing baptism for the dead which is done in clothes provided by the church. I was constantly asked about my sex life by adults while I was a minor.
It's funny to watch people with no self awareness come to realisations, and to think their revelations are news to the whole world. They believe so hard in what they've been told, they're completely unable to see anything outside of their narrow perspective.
This was fascinating. I didn't expect to end up having any respect for Bethany because I find it tragic that any teenage girl has to believe she is evil for having hormones and I hated that she seemed to perpetuate that mindset but she really seems to have grown as a person. I have never followed them, I just know a bit about them from Angelika's videos but they seem to be on an interesting journey and married to the right people. This was one of your best videos and that's saying something because I like all your videos.
It's interesting what you said about the more restrictive you are the more you want something. Most people I know in the absence by choice community are totally sex positive "do what you want and let me do what I want"
Watching these women go through all the waves of feminism 100 years late and at 0.25 speed is VERY funny
I think it’s sad
They'll get there eventually. Unfortunately they've not allowed themselves to admit that the institution has done this to them.
this is just it! this is why it's so entertaining to keep tabs on them! i hope they can free themselves of the religious abuse fully.
Best comment award
@savannahmaddux So sad! I'm not saying they aren't annoying as shit sometimes, but I can't imagine the whole life culture shock they experienced and still experience upon moving into their marital homes. It's like the end of M. Night Shyamalan's The Village, running away from the 17th century, through the woods, and coming out onto a 21st century highway. How could you even begin to transition? And how would you integrate the fact that the illusion was created and forced upon you without your consent, without regard to your health and actual safety, to control you and everyone in the group?
You flicking through positions in your book going "some of these are so not godly" is iconic
Honestly that was so funny 😂
While saying "Jesus!!!" and "OH MY GOD!!". Laughing so hard right now! Perfect!
Bethany: "The Barbie movie is so mean to men, I would hate if it made my son feel bad."
Dave (with joy in his heart): "I'M JUST KEN, ANYWHERE ELSE I'D BE A TEN!"
i'm genuinely happy for her. she could've had the misfortune to get married to someone who would've used her morals to their advantage but instead she got dav, who lovingly pushed her to get out of her shell more and more until she did and she still currently is.
I support Dav deconstructing 10000%. He seems like a very kind and supportive husband
I remember when angelica had such a sanitised and polished TH-cam channel persona but now that we get to see more and more of her personality it's soooooo refreshing! Love the hour long video, keep em coming ❤
Fr this video was so fun. It was like my bestie chatting with me
The only thing I remember about Angelika is her turnip shaped head.
Somebody is mad for no reason 😂@rjmunster9600
@@rjmunster9600bros full-time job is being a hater 😭 why are you wasting your energy on someone that you obviously dont like?
@@llemonjuicce Why do you care?
Dav really out here single handedly healing all the religious trauma girly pop has 😭 Crazy what actual unconditional love can open you up to.
I'm only 40 mins in, but Dav really does love her for her, it's so sweet 😭
@@AJtheSirenkind of, she's a terrible person so I hope he doesn't have the same views and can deconstruct her enough that she can finally accept she's terrible and change for the better
And sex
@@HobieInTheBoxthey married because they have the same values, How do you think they met?🙄
@@canesugar911 obviously 💀 but if he's deconstructing there's gonna be path devide between not being able to fix her and continuing to be with an abhorrent person
dave smirking at the camera when bethany was talking ab the cody ko video TOOK ME OUTTTT
Same, it’s incredible 😂 reminds me of a Jim from the Office moment
I grew up very religious and very Christian, so I'm speaking directly from experience when I say that people like Girl Defined are EXACTLY why I'm no longer religious and why I stopped going to church
Same!! (was Catholic but it can be equally as toxic)
There are a lot of reasons I left the mormon church, but this was definitely a factor for me, too.
That's unfortunate that the church hurt you, however Jesus would never hurt you. Hopefully you find a personal connection with him again, he is the living water, not the church.
I think this is why a person needs to explore religion outside of the immediate culture they are raised in (though i understand it might be difficuilt for some to do so). I’m born into a religion and I’m practicing but i have gone out of my way to actually learn and seek answers and not rely on family and culture. Otherwise i would have gone insane lmao. Unfortunately more often than not, when religion is explained/rationalized through culture, it makes for the most horrendous and traumatizing experience for the people practicing.
@@p.c1892oh no, honey, it wasn't the church people themselves that hurt me; I had a VERY loving church family and I still love them to this day! what I have a problem with is RELIGION ITSELF, if that makes sense, and the whole idea that God will send you to hell forever if you choose not to worship him... and honestly, I don't WANT a relationship with God because I've tried that and I'm just not interested 🤷🏽♀️
“She demonizes women for showing their shoulders….. knees and toes.”
I actually choked on my Dr Pepper. 😂😂😂
that Gluck Glucking comment threw me hahahaha
Came here to say this omg 😂😂
I almost spit out my soda
new fave angelika quote tbh
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
One hour? Ma’am you’re blessing us 😌
Oh my god the tight shirt with the scarf... unlocked a huge memory from middle school
I will say, as harmful as they have been it does seem that they, especially Beth, have realized that it was toxic and hopefully seem to be moving towards a better mindset and im glad she is spreading more support to young women even if it does feel cringey compared to her old content
That said she still says dumb things and I don't support her but I hope it's like light coming through cracks in the foundation
That’s what i was thinking. Angelika sounded too harsh and a bit hypocritical herself tbh
@@SolitudeDayysyeah I have to agree with that
@@SolitudeDayysshe has never acknowledged her mistakes and keeps pushing harmful christian retoric in between all of the good stuff she is discovering. How was angelika too harsh?? Bethanny is the hypocrite lol
Toxic? Wtf
Lmaooo “can I put myself in the mindset of god? No that’s offensive” dude u have me cacklingggggggg
Dav is great for Bethany. i'm honestly really happy for them. Dav seems like a nice man.
THE PART OF YOU LOOKING AT THE BOOK BYEEE😭😭😭
The Cody Ko and Noah reaction video will never not be fucking hilarious. Mr. Struggles was introduced to my vocabulary and I’ll be eternally grateful for it
I was raised Catholic and I distinctly remember one instance of being shamed for exploring my body, I was told that masturbation would lead me to develop reptile skin as a curse from the devil.
Purity culture and the intense shaming around sex is what made me leave the church and become atheist. I wish more people realised how much it ruins lives. I now strongly believe that waiting until marriage to have sex to remain “pure” for someone is a *huge* mistake.
Side note: Bethany’s hypocrisy is wild to witness 💀
Exactly!!! I was raised extremely Christian and when I chose to get an apartment with my boyfriend at 19 my father told me that he was religiously responsible for me until marriage so this was a failure on his part. I was made to feel bad from both parents despite neither of them waiting until marriage. I was raised in purity culture and that's one of the reasons I have been in therapy for years.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but when I read "reptile skin" I burst out laughing.
As a catholic some of the things ex Catholics tell me they were told is so wild. It really sucks that religious people don’t see how they push people away with their judgment and now when someone learns someone is religious they think they are mean judgmental people when it’s should be the opposite. I am so blessed that my church is so loving and accepting. When I got pregnant at 18 I spoke with my priest who is also a good family friend and he told me I don’t need to get married no matter what anyone says that I need to make sure I go to school and have a plan for my life. Anyway sorry for my rant it just gets me so mad how awful people will be in the name of religion when they themselves are going against what religion stands for.
It's crazy the whole masterbation will lead to lizard skin rumor the church started bc it's really obvious that doesn't just happen to other people.. like why not pick somethin that's not so obviously untrue lmao
It can create porn addiction and sex addiction ,
Why am I lowkey stanning Bethy and Dave like they’re kinda slaying
I really hope Dave is doing ok and that he keeps working with his therapist because I’m not going to pretend that I know what’s going on in their life together, but I’ve struggled really bad with those “fantasies” and the one thing that ALWAYS brought me back down to earth was thinking about how HEARTBROKEN my husband would be… Hearing him say the thought of her feeling bad made the fantasies “more compelling” honestly makes me so sad.
same, i definitely understand what he means by that though, bc can't speak for him ofc, but in my experience it can come from a place of isolation and overall struggle with depression. in the past i would think about how people around me would react if something happened to me, and i think these kinda thoughts are often specifically centered around not purely anyone feeling bad for the hell of it, but as a way to picture people caring so much about you that they'd be upset. ofc its really fucked up still, but it's something that can be kinda common in s**cidal ideation, and if he's still in a place where it's compelling then agreed he definitely should keep seeing his therapist and i hope he's able to work through it. really feel for him on this honestly, bc i've been there
My favorite part was you trying to figure out an ungodly position This is a rabbit hole I didn't expect to go down today, but I'm here for it!
Ngl I feel like mentally Dav is not religious, but he wouldn’t say it out loud because that would risk him losing his family, friends, and the foundation he’s known his whole life. It can be scary to fully come to terms with when you grow up that way. It would be interesting if he ever came out would that harm his relationship with Bethany or would she realize she could possibly make more money doing the Fundie turned Atheist grift 💀
If you think I'm gonna watch both you and Swoop's takes on Girl Define, you're absolutely right
Same! 😂
No fr!! Loved Swoop's video on it I just started Angelika's I already know I will love Angelika's take on this tho!
Can we just appreciate Dave's deconstruction?
extra appreciation for P&M giving him the push lmao😂
The way Paul was no intellectual match for Dave was quite satisfying
paul isn't even an intellectual match for a dried up cucumber
Paul is an intellectual match for a toddler, during a tantrum, though. So at least there's that🤣
I was raised in a ***very*** religious household. I left when i was about 16 but was forced to keep attending church until i was 19 (and my father passed). Being out of the religion but in a church really opens your eyes to the cracks in the foundation. I see so much of the way i was raised in those two girlies, and i hope they can find peace and freedom in whatever way that means to them
it's actually really sad t how Bethy doesn't even realize how much she's changed because she's actually in a really healthy relationship with a man who wants her to be her authentic- self. We stan Dav around here.
Accidentally clicked on the notification before even saw what it was and I’m happy it happened
I'm having a chronic pain flare up and started my period like 3 hours ago... I know you didn't do it for me, but thank you for doing this for US. QUEEN. An hour to distract my mind from pain and actually get to cook dinner for my family AND maybe clean up after is everything right now, seriously
As a chronic pain girly.. I agree!!
Distraction queen💕👏🏻
Ugh chronic pain and periods is the WORST - especially inflammatory conditions (like the one I have) - always makes the period worse. Distraction is amazing help (along with portable heating pads!)
Hope you get some good rest and your flare up chills out!
No babes she did time it for you ❤
50:50 I like that at very least Bethy is listening to him. Like she's not entirely opposing him. She's on the path of being a feminist. You can be Christian and a feminist. Let's give her a while.
The cute moment between Bethany and Dave makes me believe that no matter what they have the ability to get through almost anything together. Not fully seeing eye to eye with your partner on something like religion is a big thing but they clearly love each other anyways. Dave seems like an incredible man.
I also don’t think either of them will ever been completely atheist. Agnostic maybe. But as someone who grew up deeply religious it’s kind of hard to say you don’t believe in a higher being at all. Not because it’s what you think but because it was engrained into you for so long. I haven’t been a practicing Christian in 10 years and I don’t believe in any one god or worship anything but it’s also hard for me to conceptualize there being nothing at all. I just think we don’t understand it and we never will and that’s okay
Yeah like I just hope they keep moving toward the right direction but I never see them being outright fully detached from believing in higher power. Like that’s totally okay I’m just happy they are trying to work through some of these things and bringing that to the platform they were already using, not that it’s a full back pedal but hey! They’re opening themselves to dialog! They’re keeping their minds open to a degree and I hope it leads to them living happier, less constrictive, lives and I hope the people they influence can too.
I love longform content like this! I get major ick vibes from the summary of Girl Defined. I appreciated the quick rundown because I must live under a rock. I've heard the name before, but didn't have context. I'm still watching, just wanted to say hey and you're spectacular and be good to yourself.
Dave def ate them up!!!!!! i certainly was not expecting this video to unravel like this but i'm supporting
I also think to go from don’t think about sex, dont talk about sex, don’t ask or educate anyone about it, don’t show anything that could be even potentially sexual, you’re the cause of men ‘stumbling’ all over the world 🙄 to kissing in front of everyone at the alter & supposed to suddenly be comfortable w/ your & your husbands body being naked around them MUCH less a sexual being is preposterous. A lot of ex-fundies have said they dk what an orgasm was or how they got pregnant or even exactly what certain sexual activities were. They didn’t have sex ed, no one spoke of it. I bet it would be scary, beyond nerve racking to have sex the first time, then it’s a quick letdown you dk if you two did it wrong or if it was supposed to be more, it’s awkward to discuss in those marriages cuz they never learned how to. It’s a LOT & they don’t know where to turn. So I agree w/ her that they need to find a way to talk about it but it’s also ironic coming from her, especially w/o either of the girls taking any accountability for harmful rhetoric they pushed that was part of the prob. End rant sorry.
I think not talking about sex also allows for more abuse to continue through the church because these people don't have the vocabulary to describe it and they're super ashamed of anything even remotely sexual.
Rejecting one's own body and sexuality for 30 years is inevitably going to cause some developmental delays. They essentially have to go through various aspects of their teens and 20s, and you can't necessarily expedite that. They have created their own physical and mental and intellectual hurdles. It doesn't have to be that way and it shouldn't be that way. Good luck to them, they're gonna need it
This video was so fun! Really felt like besties having a tea session ☕
Damn. Bethany seems to be growing. Dav is having such a good influence on her! Love seeing it. He truly is a king 👑
16:34 I thought she was gonna say “my desire for other women” but she continued and at first I was like omg this is wild 😂😂😂😂
everytime she would talk about girls in restaurants all i could think was that maybe she needs to just let herself look at some boobs
an hour! you, Angelika, have blessed us today 😍😍
I did not think a girl defined video could make me this emotional. I’m actually so happy for them both and they are now probably the first internet couple I’ve ever thought I’d be crushed to see break up. Wish them both the best ❤️
I am CACKLING at some of the phrasing 😂😂😂
I just wanted to let you know that this is my favourite video you’ve made! The format is EATING.
This might be my favorite of your videos. Your demeanor, jokes, insight, everything just hits. It was like gossiping with a friend :)
they seem to have a lot of respect for each other and there is a lot of love between them. I wish them the best
Dave is God sent. (Pun intended) Honestly though, it's always better late than never and even though she might have contributed to doing harm, we should keep in mind that religious trauma is a real thing and it takes a lot of work and time to unlearn things you've been told were undisputable. I hope they can continue to progress as a couple and that B can see the light some day soon.
I really like Dav. He seem like a chill nice guy and I think he’s been really good for Bethany. It makes me happy because I grew up just like her and it is so so hard to break free from and it’s so damaging to think that way.
Most TH-camrs lose their authenticity as they grow - Angelika did the opposite and became more and more vibrant and personal. It’s such a pleasure to watch your videos ❤
The thumbnail looks so good the colour scheme is nice🫶
"some of these are not godly" im dead maam
Dave is having what we call a “crisis of faith” and I have a dark feeling it is not going to end well if they don’t end up on the same page.
It is a lot of progress in a short anount of time. Although I think Davs journey started long before, its good to see him spread his level headed take, saying everyone thinks their intepritation of their religion is right was spot on! Him showing that men aren't just uncontrollable lust monsters is great and hes a good role model.
I am honestly very impressed that Bethany has been able to realize how harmful some views she was taught are, I would be so intereste to know if shenwas interally stuggling even when filing girl defined content. I think its great that she wants to help prevent other peope from struggling the same way and that encouraging mastirbation can still be serving God!
I hope christians actually listen to Bathany because it is an improvement on what she used to say before and is kuch more nuanced. Some peope still stuck in that conservative ideology will be not ready to listen to more mainstrema pelple, or be put off by the more direct approach, so I think this sort of content might be able to reach them.
Lol, as a ex-Christian asexual, I'm absolutely co-opting the term "self-cultivation."
Omg wow I’m so impressed with dav and honestly with Bethany too! Wtf I’m shocked (also angelika I love your content sm)
As Trixie Mattel once said, if you’re waiting for marriage the sex is not going to be lit.
I highly recommend the series Rachel Oates did on Girl Defined. She goes in depth on the courses and especially Bethanys change. Super interesting, super long, in-depth. Rachel makes fantastic content
Both you AND Swoop doing a docu video on Girl Defined?
It's still July right cause it feels like Christmas came early.
My brain short circuited for a sec reading your comment, like "wait, is it july? o_O"
May? 😂
“It’s still July right”
Ma’am I’m going to need an explanation given it is very much the month of May when you posted this 😅
Your video is the best take I’ve seen on this yet… also very much appreciate the humor. It’s so unclear to me how they have literally no faith in human restraint but also rest everything upon human restraint…. Like wha??
As someone who grew up in the church and who is a Christian married woman now, the narratives that Christian women shouldn’t enjoy sex or that sex is dirty is not universal. I grew up in the context that sex *is* for marriage but that it’s a really beautiful for both husband and wife to enjoy. If I ever did have a question I always felt very comfortable asking my parents and my husband and I waited and our sex life has been great. There was obviously a learning curve, but we do not regret our choice at all. It greatly increased our intimacy (read: emotional) and trust with one another.
I also would like to say, sex is a really important part of marriage, but honestly there are things that are more important. Do you and your partner have the same values? Are you emotionally connected? Sex is not the end all be all of a good relationship. The plain fact of life is that at some point as you and your partner age, sex just isn’t going to be a reality, and you have to have more as a basis to your relationship than just a good sex life. I feel horrible for the women who feel that sex is just a chore or whose husbands don’t know how to pleasure then when they first get married, but that’s the thing: you can learn how to make your partner feel good. You literally have years to perfect it. 🤦♀️
No one wants to talk about emotional risks of having multiple partners and cohabitation. Statistically, these choices do lead to higher rates of divorce down the line. If that’s your choice then that’s up to you, but let’s not tear down women who do choose to wait.
Importantly, I have never been a fan of girl defined (their videos were off putting to me) and I can’t say I support Bethany, I just felt that the characterization of Christian culture around sex was somewhat misrepresented.
You & Swoop in the same day with girl defined- what are the chances? Great topic. I’ll go back to back girl defined!!💜
IVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR 6 YEARS??????
I feel this, that hit me too. I remember when she would always say that everyone likes Jeffree Star but she was blocked by him haha
"Is it a yay or a nay? I think it's a slay." 😂 Please, the sass! I love Angelika!
“Shoulders …….. knees and toes” had me CACKLING 😂
I'm so glad you're talking about them, I love your storytelling and tbh I can't get through some other videos 😭🙏
i absolutely love that you're covering this! I follow a lot of athiest/deconstruction content (Zelph on the Shelf, Rachel Oates, Jimmy Snow, Fundie Fridays, etc), so it's really cool to see another perspective on this who doesn't solely focus on religious content!
This video is probably my favorite cause it feels like I’m talking with my bestie about self-cultivation and sexual experiences and it’s giving my soul all of the things!
This was really well done and I liked this in depth look into a topic that actually kind of matters rather than the typical short summary of some shallow TikTok or TH-cam drama. This was great, thank you
GIRLLL an hour video thank you this is the best day everyone say thank you angelika 😩
Swoop and Angelika making Girl Defined content makes my workday so much more bearable.
(also. even thinking about having my first ANYTHING in front of my family makes me SHIVER. says me. a 30 year old)
Love the format! Please keep doing this style!
I really liked the structure of the video ! (with the chapters and the introduction etc)
The way Angelika is imagining her self cultivation like she’s going an exploratory invasive surgery is sending me into orbit 😂😭
angelica i’m obsessed with long vids PLEASEEEE do them more 😭🙏
This is one of my fave vids of yours. Loved your vibe here
I love how you covered this, I feel like I’ve only heard very fragmented pieces of all of this and I love the way you organized it! Also rly hoping for more Bethany/Dav/Reaction Channels content crossover 👀
dave is sooo well spoken
Love getting to your long video so quickly. Your long video makes it a good day
THIS IS HOW I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL WAY BACK WHEN! I was watching Swell and stumbled onto here (or maybe the other way around)
Girl this is the funniest I’ve seen you. Good video 💅🏻
This was the best spent 59 min! Great video, love. 👌
A nearly hour long Angelika video? We’re getting spoiled today lol 😝🙂↕️💕🙌🏽
A crossover of Fundies and Angelika is great. Get the Reverend Jen on if you do a deep dive into Paul and Morgan!!
I am a Pentecostal Christian and I understand much of what they shared. But on the other hand, I disagree with a lot of what they have said too. I thank God that in my environment more and more people are open to talk about the issues that we ourselves have made taboo. Sex is not a shame, nor there are things that are supposed to be holy and others that are not. Watching Bethany and the way she deals with some topics makes me think that in order to justify or "convince" others of her purity she has chosen almost meaningless terms (at least I see them that way), for example "godly" and "ungodly". Perhaps, my doctrine is different from hers and that is why I do not agree with much of what she said and says.
In my opinion, and after learning, if it is an activity that is causing you physical and emotional harm, it is not right. I do know that the church has caused a lot of harm and it saddens me that because of flawed people acting on their own understanding many have stopped believing in a God who does not fail.
Sorry for saying so much!
An hour long video video from angelica??? Hell yeah! It's my lucky day!
This was such a fun video, thank you for the positivity, the length, the vibes, this video kept me going in between school for two days ❤️it is hard to look back on how you treated yourself and others due to religion and I love how you talked about everything with so much kindness 💖 girlboss
been watching your videos for years and im so excited for this long form content!! all my friends know i watch ur videos and ur referred to as ‘my british girl w the tea’
love the longer vids!! ❣️ been here since the beginning and it’s awesome to see ur content grow and change
i've been watching you when you had like 10k subs and seeing how much you've evolved and getting to see more n more of your personality makes me so comfy !! you're my comfort youtuber and now it just feels like a cute lil gossip session with my bestie its crazy :)) you've been there for me since gcses and now im in my third year uni its insane how fast the time has gone by !! sending you all my love and can't wait for your next vid
Ahhh I love this for them 😭 I love seeing them grow. I love seeing people grow
How nice it was to forget about this fundi duo....
I love this. Like I’ve always hated girl defined tbh, but this is the first video that I felt like really dove into them in an unbiased way and explored how they are and are not growing, which is cool. It also makes what criticism you did give along with excitement for their growth seem so much more powerful
I loved this video. The longer form content and seeing your sense of humor and personality was great! Your content keeps getting better.
An hour Angelika?? I'm blessed
I grew up LDS and it was girls and women like them that started my body confidence issues. Im larger chested and I was CONSTANTLY accused and told that I was causing boys to stray. I was told that after doing baptism for the dead which is done in clothes provided by the church. I was constantly asked about my sex life by adults while I was a minor.
It's funny to watch people with no self awareness come to realisations, and to think their revelations are news to the whole world. They believe so hard in what they've been told, they're completely unable to see anything outside of their narrow perspective.
I like how it’s the end of her day and it’s the beginning of mine so I have something to drink my coffee to 💙☕️
This was fascinating. I didn't expect to end up having any respect for Bethany because I find it tragic that any teenage girl has to believe she is evil for having hormones and I hated that she seemed to perpetuate that mindset but she really seems to have grown as a person. I have never followed them, I just know a bit about them from Angelika's videos but they seem to be on an interesting journey and married to the right people. This was one of your best videos and that's saying something because I like all your videos.
Who in their right mind would listen to someone so inexperienced as an authority
It's interesting what you said about the more restrictive you are the more you want something. Most people I know in the absence by choice community are totally sex positive "do what you want and let me do what I want"
When you said “this is my Super Bowl” that is exactly how I felt when it was all going down after the 24 hours with video
Weren't they literally saying that having a CRUSH is ungodly? Also, telling your parents about ''self-cultivating'' is WILD.