Another great video, thanks Seth. When my kids were around age 7-10 and in a state where they were angry/upset/ranting, I'd say "hang on, let me write this down so I can understand exactly why you're unhappy. Can you help me find a pen?" Then I'd ask them to give me points to write down so we could discuss. This process would take up to five minutes, and by the time they were telling me what to write down they had calmed down considerably. Now and then it works on my tween, but not always.
What stood out to me was the example of the parent taking a deep breath to model for their nervous system. Can't wait to use that in real time. One thing I use for my own emotional regulation is after noticing what I'm feeling, naming it and where in the body it is, I map it out. How big is it, what's the shape, is there a color, etc. I map the edges and then relax around the edges, or just have awareness of the edges. Then it starts to move and change, which is the energy/emotion releasing. Doesn't matter if it gets worse or better, bigger or smaller, just looking for change b/c that's movement, it's change. When I stay with it, it works it's way out. Love this stuff! Thanks for the video Seth.
Seth, I love your philosophy and approach to EF and Emotional Regulation. I am a teacher and have forwarded your site to many students, families and colleagues. I was wondering if you could do a similar video directed to pre-teens/teens. I would love to start my year in September with a focus on Executive Functioning and Emotional Regulation and can see using your videos as a guide for a weekly focus and goal-setting.
I like the rating their emotions on a scale of 1-10. It’s hard to help regulate emotions when he doesn’t seem to even know how to self-identify. This may help. Then maybe I can work on the other tips!
Great stuff, Seth. As I was taking notes on journaling, one thing that I've used in the past while journaling is writing down 3 things I'm grateful for. I find it helps shift my emotion to something positive.
You can also use the visual and musical arts with the right person. Can you draw why you’re upset? What does sad sound like? They have helped me a lot over the years.
To add to your collection. I don’t “think” you said this? I journal, sometimes to myself and sometimes to a trusted friend/coach/counselor. :-) Great video! You’ve reminded me here about mindfulness as I make a big career decision today.
Great video! Lots of tools to start using with the kids I work with. I especially found modeling the deep breath to be helpful- I definitely took a deep breath with you! One thing I use to help me regulate myself is music. Can use it to lighten the mood if I feel sad or tired. With kids I have a variety of sensory tools for them. Using tactile or movement activities can be very helpful to get them past the initial state of being overwhelmed with emotion
Is that helpful? To say it’s not the end of the world? I think I’d hear that like I’m being shrugged off, but maybe that’s just me and due to my stories. I can see how it can be supportive.
I don't think kids feel validated when they are told it's not the end of the world. They need validated first. Otherwise, they tend to make it seem even worse in order to try to get you to understand the intensity.
One of the things that helps me to put things into perspective is trying to figure out the current situation "rates" among the bad things that could happen. For example, if the "end of the world" is a 10, and stubbing my toe is a 1, then how would I rate the current situation? It helps give me a bigger perspective of the trauma. Even stubbing my toe is a trauma, and it is okay and valid to have big emotions about it. When you ask someone to rate it themselves, they do not feel judged. They feel like they have the opportunity to be heard, AND it can help provide a way to access their executive functioning skills to consider it's rating. It is also helpful for each person to determine what their "end of the world" or "worst case scenario" #10 would be, as well as their #1. I DEFINITELY would try so many of SETH's ideas as your initital responses. Once you see they are calming down and able to think straight, you could adjust your words a little for them to gain perspective on their own, "On a Scale of 1-10 with 10 being the "end of the world", where do you FEEL this situation falls? Talk to me about WHY you gave it that rating."
Another great video, thanks Seth. When my kids were around age 7-10 and in a state where they were angry/upset/ranting, I'd say "hang on, let me write this down so I can understand exactly why you're unhappy. Can you help me find a pen?" Then I'd ask them to give me points to write down so we could discuss. This process would take up to five minutes, and by the time they were telling me what to write down they had calmed down considerably. Now and then it works on my tween, but not always.
Thanks for sharing!
(1) 9:15 talk, (2) 10:37 I notice, (3) 11:22 breath, (4) 12:10 move, (5) 12:37 meditation, (6) 13:26 journaling, (7) 13:42 Inner word, (8) 14:30 emotional vocabulary.
What stood out to me was the example of the parent taking a deep breath to model for their nervous system. Can't wait to use that in real time. One thing I use for my own emotional regulation is after noticing what I'm feeling, naming it and where in the body it is, I map it out. How big is it, what's the shape, is there a color, etc. I map the edges and then relax around the edges, or just have awareness of the edges. Then it starts to move and change, which is the energy/emotion releasing. Doesn't matter if it gets worse or better, bigger or smaller, just looking for change b/c that's movement, it's change. When I stay with it, it works it's way out. Love this stuff! Thanks for the video Seth.
Seth, I love your philosophy and approach to EF and Emotional Regulation. I am a teacher and have forwarded your site to many students, families and colleagues. I was wondering if you could do a similar video directed to pre-teens/teens. I would love to start my year in September with a focus on Executive Functioning and Emotional Regulation and can see using your videos as a guide for a weekly focus and goal-setting.
Please create video directly to students
How do YOU help kids learn to regulate emotion? Or what stood out for you in this video? Share below...
I like the rating their emotions on a scale of 1-10. It’s hard to help regulate emotions when he doesn’t seem to even know how to self-identify. This may help. Then maybe I can work on the other tips!
Great stuff, Seth. As I was taking notes on journaling, one thing that I've used in the past while journaling is writing down 3 things I'm grateful for. I find it helps shift my emotion to something positive.
Love that!
Great tips. What do you do when your kids don't want to do any of these things? lol
Good question!
That stinks!! But so glad you are doing this video! Definitely needed. BTW love your channel!♥️
You can also use the visual and musical arts with the right person. Can you draw why you’re upset? What does sad sound like? They have helped me a lot over the years.
So good! Thank you
Great video
Thanks Seth you are awesome. The second go around for this video was amazing!
Glad you liked it!
Thank you for re-doing it Seth! 🙏🏼
Graciasssss
Love this. I’d love to see a similar video this that speaks directly to kids.
(1) @ talk, (2) @ I notice, (3) @ breath, (4) @ move, (5) @ meditation, (6) @ journaling, (7) @ Inner work, (8) @ emotional vocabulary.
To add to your collection. I don’t “think” you said this? I journal, sometimes to myself and sometimes to a trusted friend/coach/counselor. :-) Great video! You’ve reminded me here about mindfulness as I make a big career decision today.
Thanks for sharing!!
Great video! Lots of tools to start using with the kids I work with. I especially found modeling the deep breath to be helpful- I definitely took a deep breath with you! One thing I use to help me regulate myself is music. Can use it to lighten the mood if I feel sad or tired. With kids I have a variety of sensory tools for them. Using tactile or movement activities can be very helpful to get them past the initial state of being overwhelmed with emotion
Wow I would be soo upset!! Thank you for your hard work!!! Funny!! I tell my son..it is not the end of the world...
Is that helpful? To say it’s not the end of the world? I think I’d hear that like I’m being shrugged off, but maybe that’s just me and due to my stories. I can see how it can be supportive.
I don't think kids feel validated when they are told it's not the end of the world. They need validated first. Otherwise, they tend to make it seem even worse in order to try to get you to understand the intensity.
@@hwhipple right validation
One of the things that helps me to put things into perspective is trying to figure out the current situation "rates" among the bad things that could happen. For example, if the "end of the world" is a 10, and stubbing my toe is a 1, then how would I rate the current situation? It helps give me a bigger perspective of the trauma. Even stubbing my toe is a trauma, and it is okay and valid to have big emotions about it. When you ask someone to rate it themselves, they do not feel judged. They feel like they have the opportunity to be heard, AND it can help provide a way to access their executive functioning skills to consider it's rating. It is also helpful for each person to determine what their "end of the world" or "worst case scenario" #10 would be, as well as their #1. I DEFINITELY would try so many of SETH's ideas as your initital responses. Once you see they are calming down and able to think straight, you could adjust your words a little for them to gain perspective on their own, "On a Scale of 1-10 with 10 being the "end of the world", where do you FEEL this situation falls? Talk to me about WHY you gave it that rating."