10:30 "Sometimes you don't know your boundaries or your limits until they've been met or bumped up against" -- words of wisdom in general, not only in this non-monogamy context!
06:08 - 06:16 - (Non-Monogamous) relationships only work exactly because there are regular check ins for honest and open communication of needs, wants and desires.
Non monogamy is very easy to accomplish. Don't get married and commit yourself to one person, but stay single instead and date, hangout, and have sex with as many people as you want. It seems some people want a spouse or primary partner to provide a home, security, love, emotional support, care in sickness etc.... and a secondary partner for what exactly?
What you describe is called being single. Everyone else here doesn't feel that you are the only person that gets to set the ground rules for another person's marriage
Security, stability, reliability and trust in closed committed intimate relationships are illusory, because anyone can do you wrong and let you down at any time, as we cannot tell definitely for certain how anyone and their beliefs, values, priorities, limits, needs, wants, desires and feelings will or will not change, because everyone is as unpredictable as the future of existence is unpredictably uncertain, so you should value building your independence more than anything else.
I'm for a modified form of non-monogamy. She can move in with another partner for 3 to 6 months and get the full day to day experience with them, not just sexual, and then come back. She can do this as many times as she wants so long as we both agree to it. It may do me some good with her gone most of the year.
This is very honest. With such a high percentage of marriages ending because of cheating and lack of communication, this open relationship concept seems like an answer for some people to have a "commited relationship" with the understanding of openess with others.
Honestly longer than it needed to be, I lost 13:37 mins of my life on something that could have been summarized to a sentence. Me hoping for a new concept or philosophical perspective. Basically: She wanted to sleep around and share intimacy with other people. Which tbh, is more fair than what many men do, they don't claim to be in an open relationship and still cheat. Open relationships will always have ramifications, I find it way easier to just break up with people and move onto the next one. But then you get accused for commitment issues and never finishing what you started. I think a long term relationship without intimacy is by far the healthiest way to fall into an intimate relationship, but that's just an opinion. However, on a more scientific not, statistically most people that are polyamorous and into open relationships have committal issues due to parents not commiting to them in life. On another note, if you aren't honest about your sexual orientation from the get-go you can really hurt someone who caters to monogamy, they will view you as a waste of time if they find that to be a core value. Some people want to work through all their pain and happiness together.
Listening to people talk about how this works for them is so freeing! Having grown up in a highly religious home, I'd never been exposed to relationships that didn't fit the prescribed mold.
I know what you mean! It was like wait till marriage to have sex! Fall in love and live happily ever after! Fake fake fake! That's a Disney movie hoax!
Jaimie Houck If you’re Christian it works but if you’re a girl and a boy relationship won’t work that’s why you need a women and a man to have one😂🤦♂️💀🙄.
Opening our marriage has been great for us. We appreciate each other more, communicate better, feel like we’re growing both as individuals and as a couple, and feel closer than ever. Also, we get to meet and enjoy interesting people. To the haters, when you pay our bills, then you can tell me how we should live.
I'm assuming she went behind her back and betrayed you? That is very unfortunate. My wife and I have been with other people, but so far it is an interesting development and very exciting.
Open relationship is perfect for rich men , they don’t need to get marry . While enjoying many woman . And cycle out aging partners for newer younger partners.
Thanks for your post it’s helpful for people like myself that no longer identify with monogamy and looking for those that want the sane thing. Do you know of helpful sites to locate more people the support CNM relationships?
"I really aren't satisfied by my partner sexually, but I don't want to leave him and miss out on his emotional and financial support" there, saved you guys a few mins of your life
Guess what? My husband and I have body-rocking, earth-shattering sex. On an emotional and intellectual level, no one gets me like he does. But that doesn't mean a woman loses her independence nor her sense of adventure once that happens, does it? My husband has never once pretended that he owns me. Monogamy is not natural. Look at the statistics! 74% of men (almost 3 out of 4) say they'd step out on their partners if they knew they'd be able to get away with it and 68% of women (more than 2 out of 3) said they'd green light an affair if there was no chance of their current partner finding out. As far as being satisfied in their marriages, 56% of husbands who admitted to cheating said that they were happy with their marriages while 34% of wives who were surveyed claimed to be largely satisfied with the relationships they had with their spouses, identifying themselves as "happy" or "very happy." The only difference is that consensually non-monogamous couples are honest about it. We don't have to lie nor feel guilty. And contrary to what the orthodox view would have you believe, it deepens the trust and the level of connection between us.
wanted to add.. more (from my other page..) the purpose of relationships is to open us up to who we are.. so , we may need one person to show us our love at first.. then once its seen, the way love is captured is different. We go from finding someone to complete our empty heart.. to expressing a full heart.. i have just opened to an open relationship way of life.. its nice.. there is no Story to hold onto.. gives me a free mind, to be presence and grace.. vs holding up a relationship..
this is excellent.. very real and true.. I feel like the fear that keeps us locked into a relationship.. is the very fear of life itself. if you stop and look at the fear of life you find yourself. love is...
Idk. I try to be open, but does any relationship really get better when you add someone else into the mix? If you are only having sex with other people, maybe that can work. If someone is establishing emotional intimacy and getting to know someone else, then this is taking time away from your main person. There is true beauty in knowing someone deeply and fully. If I saw the woman that I love holding hands with someone else and holding each other on a blanket on the beach and watching the sunset, I think I would die of heartbreak on the spot.
I wonder similar things, regarding time and focus for a primary partner. I dated a poly married woman for 6 years. There's pros and cons. I envy the people that have an open relationship with side lovers that are less romantic. Probably more feelings than swinging, but..... not deep poly either.
If anything polyamory is more compatible with love than monogamy is. Real love is unconditional (or as close to being unconditional as possible). Monogamy is placing a condition on love, i.e. "I'll only love you if you don't sleep with anyone else".
it's more "i'll only love you, if you love only me, desire only me, look to only me, obcess over only me. me. me. me." you don't have a limit on your feelings for friends, children and family relations... you also have "boundaries" within those relationships too. healthy, non homocidal, boundaries.
People who talk about polygamy should have no right to talk about love. Having butterflies in your tummy like you did your teenage days again is not love. There is no self sacrifice for a greater future. The "love" in polygamy is a lie polygamists tell themselves so they don't have to realize how selfish and destructive their relationships are.
Muleman Tinmann why must you always "suffer"? why must there always be misery and perpetual disatisfaction? honestly it would be easy for me to argue the exact opposite that you have, i just find it slightly weird that many proponents of monogamy can't comprihend something outside of their perspective. the "love" in monogamy isn't a lie, even though its at one with insecurity and possession and exclusivity. your not being selfish and destructive when your untenable relationship has to be dragged into the law courts. the ex wife is a meme, the homocidal husband is a trope, but their are plenty of good couples out there towing the wholesome narative line. you can talk about love because you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, have their kids, and live in their manhole. my argument is, life is hard enough already, why must it have imposed resentment festering conditions to make it even worse.
I coined the acronym ECNM because it speaks to where so many of us are. Can anyone really stay in a single box for their whole life? Identifying as an ECNM individual allows one a fluid place so they can enjoy being whatever seems right for the moment.
Challenge question for Melissa Mango, do you carefully select potential partners you are actually sexually attracted to? Do you choose partners that sexually excite you? It is often thought that polyamory types or promiscuous types have high sex drives due to the seeking of multiple partners, however that assumption is mistaken. You seem to be seeking novelty probably because partners that you pick are dull, platonic, and overall you are not really attracted to them at all. Seeking a partner you are sexually attracted is in your best interest as well a selfish endeavor.
Yeah, people tend to get bored with being with the same person all the time. We like variety and to try something different and new. For a Monogamous relationship to work ,we must sacrifice our own needs in order to have a happy family if that is what you want. Then deal with all the misery of lack of freedom. And when you are in a monogamous relationship you are owned and they own you. So, I don't blame you on being a single polyamorous person. You just wouldn't be a good fit for a decent man looking to build a stable and secure home life with just one woman. However, I do believe that self centered activity doesn't help relationships to thrive monogamous or not. It just ends up being another exclusive club of individuals to divide others by saying to the world, " hey look what I can do". Otherwise we would all be doing it. And if multiple relationships were the norm you'd probably go the other way. So, go ahead and pursue your desires and whims. Try not to worry too much about accountability because they aren't either. Good luck
Birth control (a recent phenomenon relative to humans' evolutionary history) allows women to have the freedom to be in open relationships. There are few societal support systems for un-partnered women with children.
I think she was talking about being close with the other person's family and kids. Not in a sexual way, rather in a way of not being hidden from the partner's relatives. That was my impression of what she said. I would love to know what you truly meant Melissa!
Im a man who values loyality and monogamy. Im okay with non-monogamy. But then i date other people as well and also keep my ressources for myself. If you want to be independent and explore yourself. Its your free choice i accept. Dont even think i will take care of you and take responsibility for you. Do it for yourself. Its about accountability. This lifestyle is nice but wait until you get older and have no one to play a cardgame with because you threated them like a second choice.
Monogamy as a socioculturally constructed contract may not be, but the desire to be in a pair bond with someone forever is still real even if is a rarity in nature.
6:35 incest and pedophilia are now okay? Some poor child out there is hurting and corrupted. Adults can do as adults will but please let's keep the children innocent.
I'm pretty sure she means having close bonds & relationships with other adults who have children, not having romantic/adult connections with children. But I see how her phrasing is unclear there! :)
If I'm being totally honest. I wouldn't care if my woman was non-monogamous if! There were no STDs and she could only get pregnant by me. But since STDs are real, and ovaries aren't selective, monogamy is necessary. For you, sweetheart, the reason you had those apprehensions is because that dude wasn't enough for you. It doesn't mean he isn't an amazing guy, it doesn't mean he wouldn't be another woman's moon and stars, it just means he wasn't yours. There's nothing wrong with that. If you had a different guy, the kind who makes your body explode with an expert touch, you wouldn't be thinking about other dudes.
+Sal C What you are saying is an assumption. Perhaps some people are just not suited to monogamy, no matter how wonderful or "expert" any lover they could meet may be.
johnny b monogamy shouldn't suit anyone. It's the silliest shit ever. My wife and I have sex maybe one or two times every two months. If that. It's a miserable situation but let's explore the alternative. I could hook up with different people and end up with pus pouring out my pipe or I can stay in my miserable marriage and long for death.
+Sal C All STDs are either curable or treatable. Even people with AIDS can now have ongoing treatment and live indefinitely (much as people with diabetes do), though unfortunately there is a minority who don't respond well to treatment.
Your going to come to the rationale that being non monogamous serves a quick fix. Than later on down the road is self destructive. If you want a real relationship learn how to be happy with yourself.
I mean I've been in a committed non-monogamous relationship for 11 years now with my longest time partner, so uh...pretty sure your logic is flawed there my guy haha. Non-monogamy IS me being happy with myself
I have no clue what all was said.. Everything was all freakin jumbled up too many freakin thoughts. I tell u what.. I don't gotta problem with women tha just wanna have fun.. What I do have a problem with is pretending tha this ain't tha case. Lying. Not disclosing. Being upfront. Wanting authenticity but being a fake energy sucking narcassist.. Honesty is a two way street. If ya just abt hooking up just be a mature adult be upfront.. Anybody tha betrays, is dishonest and messes with another's head and heart? I'm not accusing this woman of being like so,but if ya find yourself avoiding any conflictual issue with 1 of yo playmates cuz of ya being enigmatic ,secretive? You better be careful abt choices ya make.. These times are crzy as hell and I'm not surprised peepz are snapping and killing. I dnt condone but when somebody effs with yo head and crushes wha had seemed real? Pffft. Woman &men both are accountable ,responsible for being honest. Them game playing 1s are weak dnt kno a God damn thng abt love twas replaced with thirst of power,control.. Tis so outta control the zest pool &clowns rambling on and on just shhhhh. Maybe I'm the sickest cuz I wanna now invent smthng. I wanna be yo nonmonogamous only tag along voyeuristic lil monkey. I wanna get me some popcorn/candy. Lemme enjoy tha circus . ✌
I came to listen the other side but no, I am not at all convinced. Monogamy is a yogic practice. It is not as easy, but I bet (I am not married yet) is the most rewarding thing one can experience with someone: real intimacy and real depth. It make you became very good at re-inventing life.
This is completely a stupid topic. Also, sorry to mention that polygamy people can’t really talk about love, love only stands for one person and only that person deserves it. On the other hand, if you say that going for another person other than your partner is love that’s absolutely a wrong statement towards the word “love” the path that you follow is called infatuation, which means you gotta grow up from your high school lifestyle and get a real life. Or just get a STD at some point in life. Very risky and not a topic that should be ethically discussed among young generations which would eventually mess up those heads and think that it’s okay to sleep or have intimate relationship with anyone they want.
Glad I have been sterile all my life. Well then Men should not get married or pay alimony. Which you obviously want to increase your ALIMONY PAYMENTS and CHILD SUPPORT. Lomotony. Go hop around from lap to lap all you want.
I can't understand how you feel. In fact I think you in the west have so much freedom to the point you want to break out of all norms. I can't imagine a man letting his wife have sex with other men, or a women letting her husband have sex with other women. Just imagine you are a girl living in the middle east. Do you know that you will face so much oppression you can't even imagine. Every single thing you do or say or wear will be judged. You will face sexual harassment, and discrimination in every single aspect of life. Some men even do not let their daughters, sisters, or wives to go out of the house, they may even deny them access to health care, if the provider was a male. In some countries like Saudi Arabia women can't drive by law, and can't travel without a male companion from her family. She can't even issue a passport if her father or husband did not agree "by law". Here where I live if you did not get married which is happening a lot nowadays, you will stay virgin for you're entire life. I am a man who lives in the middle east. I am not religious, I am 28 years old. I have never had sex in my life.
I agree with you 100%. I'm a 27 year old female living in the West. I too have never had sex in my entire life and this isn't due to a religious affliation. I am not religious. The reality is people like me are the aliens in the west.
missysmithy25 you should find a husband from the east. Men here in the west are too over sexed. Its too accessible to them. You’re not an alien you’re perfect.
In other words a bunch of bull, how come it never lasts long? Just keep it to yourself , cause what you’re trying is to persuade someone cause your options are running thin
Oh sweet heart stop that life style it will destroy you, please repent ,don't let the enemy of your precious SOUL deceive you wake up you look like a very good person but you need to run for your life the devil will devour you at the end you need to born again
Non-monogamous relationships sound a lot like in-denial love & sex addicts adopting a lifestyle that feeds into their worldview. The excitement and craving for a new fix you are describing has a name for it. Maybe go to a slaa meeting dude. Best of luck.
Just admit it.......... you like sex and like to experience different men.......... nothing wrong with that........ you are making this way to complicated...... unfortunately, you aren't going to find anyone who will stay with you for 50 years in an open relationship......
This was published in my birthday. I guess this video is cool. She likes to get attention here and there isn't that the same as the law of attraction. WE ALL WANT THINGS I WANT HER RIGHT NOW LOL 😅
@@PabloGonzalez-hv3td No technique to prevent infection from sexual contact is 100% effective. The Mathematics of Probability says as follows: If the chance of getting an infection from promiscuous sex is reduced to ONE PER TEN THOUSAND, chance of NOT getting infection equals (9999/10000)^5000 [(9999/10000) to the 500th power] = 0.606, chance of getting infection is 1.000-0.606 = 0.393 or 39.3%. Not a good bet. If we change probability of infection to one per thousand, chance of not getting infected drops to (999/1000)^5000 = 0.007, so chance of infection rises to 0.993=99.3%; In other words, like juggling nitroglycerine bottles.
Magnus Leuthner: 21st century sucks in that respect. People playing musical chairs with their genitals IS gross. Monogamy just works out best for everyone ;) Our ancestors didn't get everything wrong.
Magnus Leuthner: 200k years ago is a long time. They probably had some sort of system where the top 5% of males would impregnate all the females. Is that the kind of world you want to live in today?
10:30 "Sometimes you don't know your boundaries or your limits until they've been met or bumped up against" -- words of wisdom in general, not only in this non-monogamy context!
06:08 - 06:16 - (Non-Monogamous) relationships only work exactly because there are regular check ins for honest and open communication of needs, wants and desires.
Non monogamy is very easy to accomplish. Don't get married and commit yourself to one person, but stay single instead and date, hangout, and have sex with as many people as you want. It seems some people want a spouse or primary partner to provide a home, security, love, emotional support, care in sickness etc.... and a secondary partner for what exactly?
What you describe is called being single. Everyone else here doesn't feel that you are the only person that gets to set the ground rules for another person's marriage
@@jerryeastman170 Someone can be single, have a partner, and be monogamous.
Security, stability, reliability and trust in closed committed intimate relationships are illusory, because anyone can do you wrong and let you down at any time, as we cannot tell definitely for certain how anyone and their beliefs, values, priorities, limits, needs, wants, desires and feelings will or will not change, because everyone is as unpredictable as the future of existence is unpredictably uncertain, so you should value building your independence more than anything else.
I realized I was polyarmorus when i was 19. I felt very comfortable being guy number 2.
I'm for a modified form of non-monogamy. She can move in with another partner for 3 to 6 months and get the full day to day experience with them, not just sexual, and then come back. She can do this as many times as she wants so long as we both agree to it. It may do me some good with her gone most of the year.
are you joking??
This is very honest. With such a high percentage of marriages ending because of cheating and lack of communication, this open relationship concept seems like an answer for some people to have a "commited relationship" with the understanding of openess with others.
Nah just for the streets imo
Divorce rate has been falling every year bro
It's honest! Stay away from a cheater!
Take accountability and responsibility. No know will do it for you if you chose to sleep around.
Honestly longer than it needed to be, I lost 13:37 mins of my life on something that could have been summarized to a sentence. Me hoping for a new concept or philosophical perspective. Basically: She wanted to sleep around and share intimacy with other people.
Which tbh, is more fair than what many men do, they don't claim to be in an open relationship and still cheat. Open relationships will always have ramifications, I find it way easier to just break up with people and move onto the next one. But then you get accused for commitment issues and never finishing what you started. I think a long term relationship without intimacy is by far the healthiest way to fall into an intimate relationship, but that's just an opinion. However, on a more scientific not, statistically most people that are polyamorous and into open relationships have committal issues due to parents not commiting to them in life.
On another note, if you aren't honest about your sexual orientation from the get-go you can really hurt someone who caters to monogamy, they will view you as a waste of time if they find that to be a core value. Some people want to work through all their pain and happiness together.
Listening to people talk about how this works for them is so freeing! Having grown up in a highly religious home, I'd never been exposed to relationships that didn't fit the prescribed mold.
I know what you mean! It was like wait till marriage to have sex! Fall in love and live happily ever after! Fake fake fake! That's a Disney movie hoax!
Jaimie Houck If you’re Christian it works but if you’re a girl and a boy relationship won’t work that’s why you need a women and a man to have one😂🤦♂️💀🙄.
@@alexchavez3244Christianity is just like all other religions, man-made stupidity
Opening our marriage has been great for us. We appreciate each other more, communicate better, feel like we’re growing both as individuals and as a couple, and feel closer than ever. Also, we get to meet and enjoy interesting people. To the haters, when you pay our bills, then you can tell me how we should live.
You need Jesus bro. The both of you!
Never works out
Not gods way
Called sin
Disagreement is not hate.
@@walterromanoff2953 you're wrong mate.
@@walterromanoff2953God doesn't exist clown
My ex wife slept with the neighbors,people at work and my friends.she was very comfortable being nonmonagamus
I'm assuming she went behind her back and betrayed you? That is very unfortunate. My wife and I have been with other people, but so far it is an interesting development and very exciting.
And she was secretive about it.
I love this video, thank you so much!!!
I'm really happy I came across this video
me too
th-cam.com/video/5t5xqLADvAI/w-d-xo.html
Open relationship is perfect for rich men , they don’t need to get marry . While enjoying many woman . And cycle out aging partners for newer younger partners.
Obviously she is neither
It’s not true. Young and stupid is waste of time
Thanks for your post it’s helpful for people like myself that no longer identify with monogamy and looking for those that want the sane thing. Do you know of helpful sites to locate more people the support CNM relationships?
Understood ...we are the same and there’s nothing wrong with us 🙏🏿💚
Girl! Thank you for sharing this!
thank you for sharing your story. this makes me feel so much better
Nourished My Soul! Appreciation!
"I really aren't satisfied by my partner sexually, but I don't want to leave him and miss out on his emotional and financial support"
there, saved you guys a few mins of your life
Financial support? um how about she just gets a job then?
Jacques François Look For Real Love Not $$$
Jacques François try lesbian love 💕
Guess what? My husband and I have body-rocking, earth-shattering sex. On an emotional and intellectual level, no one gets me like he does.
But that doesn't mean a woman loses her independence nor her sense of adventure once that happens, does it? My husband has never once pretended that he owns me.
Monogamy is not natural. Look at the statistics! 74% of men (almost 3 out of 4) say they'd step out on their partners if they knew they'd be able to get away with it and 68% of women (more than 2 out of 3) said they'd green light an affair if there was no chance of their current partner finding out.
As far as being satisfied in their marriages, 56% of husbands who admitted to cheating said that they were happy with their marriages while 34% of wives who were surveyed claimed to be largely satisfied with the relationships they had with their spouses, identifying themselves as "happy" or "very happy."
The only difference is that consensually non-monogamous couples are honest about it. We don't have to lie nor feel guilty. And contrary to what the orthodox view would have you believe, it deepens the trust and the level of connection between us.
ElizabethKlemm
Women are never happy so ya know, whatever 🤦🏻♂️😂
I resonate with you so much also look at how much people have relationship problelms this will be the future
i like your open mind ,it makes sense , starving yourself is not the answer .
wanted to add.. more (from my other page..) the purpose of relationships is to open us up to who we are.. so , we may need one person to show us our love at first.. then once its seen, the way love is captured is different. We go from finding someone to complete our empty heart.. to expressing a full heart..
i have just opened to an open relationship way of life.. its nice.. there is no Story to hold onto.. gives me a free mind, to be presence and grace.. vs holding up a relationship..
I lime how honest and unbiased you are in this video.😃😍❤
this is excellent.. very real and true.. I feel like the fear that keeps us locked into a relationship.. is the very fear of life itself. if you stop and look at the fear of life you find yourself. love is...
Yeah, fears, anxiety, jealousy, shame and other insecurities keep us from living our best lives.
Idk. I try to be open, but does any relationship really get better when you add someone else into the mix? If you are only having sex with other people, maybe that can work. If someone is establishing emotional intimacy and getting to know someone else, then this is taking time away from your main person. There is true beauty in knowing someone deeply and fully. If I saw the woman that I love holding hands with someone else and holding each other on a blanket on the beach and watching the sunset, I think I would die of heartbreak on the spot.
I wonder similar things, regarding time and focus for a primary partner. I dated a poly married woman for 6 years. There's pros and cons. I envy the people that have an open relationship with side lovers that are less romantic. Probably more feelings than swinging, but..... not deep poly either.
@@aNaturalist I am just curious. Are you straight or LGBTQ? If you are comfortable answering that question....
I wish so much I was not this way. I live in the south I can't find a good therapist, I don't know what to do
I am really mixed up and I can not figure it out !!!!
Tim Brown Your Gay Maybe
Called fuck buddies
Never lasts hard to find
The best things take the hardest work.😄
Currently how I am feeling. Thank you.
I agree with you on that every relationship has there issues I feel like most couples fight over the t.v remote.😂
I'm Poly.. and it's the Best‼️‼️‼️
If anything polyamory is more compatible with love than monogamy is. Real love is unconditional (or as close to being unconditional as possible). Monogamy is placing a condition on love, i.e. "I'll only love you if you don't sleep with anyone else".
it's more "i'll only love you, if you love only me, desire only me, look to only me, obcess over only me. me. me. me." you don't have a limit on your feelings for friends, children and family relations... you also have "boundaries" within those relationships too. healthy, non homocidal, boundaries.
People who talk about polygamy should have no right to talk about love.
Having butterflies in your tummy like you did your teenage days again is not love. There is no self sacrifice for a greater future.
The "love" in polygamy is a lie polygamists tell themselves so they don't have to realize how selfish and destructive their relationships are.
Muleman Tinmann why must you always "suffer"? why must there always be misery and perpetual disatisfaction? honestly it would be easy for me to argue the exact opposite that you have, i just find it slightly weird that many proponents of monogamy can't comprihend something outside of their perspective. the "love" in monogamy isn't a lie, even though its at one with insecurity and possession and exclusivity. your not being selfish and destructive when your untenable relationship has to be dragged into the law courts. the ex wife is a meme, the homocidal husband is a trope, but their are plenty of good couples out there towing the wholesome narative line. you can talk about love because you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, have their kids, and live in their manhole. my argument is, life is hard enough already, why must it have imposed resentment festering conditions to make it even worse.
johnny b it’s more like “I’ll love u no matter what, but if u don’t love me I need to find someone else”
Very beautiful 👍
Not to be rude, listening to her just makes it sounds like she wanna sleep around.
I coined the acronym ECNM because it speaks to where so many of us are. Can anyone really stay in a single box for their whole life? Identifying as an ECNM individual allows one a fluid place so they can enjoy being whatever seems right for the moment.
thanks, for being brave enough to express your thoughts so clearly and even put them up for others on the net!
Challenge question for Melissa Mango, do you carefully select potential partners you are actually sexually attracted to? Do you choose partners that sexually excite you? It is often thought that polyamory types or promiscuous types have high sex drives due to the seeking of multiple partners, however that assumption is mistaken.
You seem to be seeking novelty probably because partners that you pick are dull, platonic, and overall you are not really attracted to them at all. Seeking a partner you are sexually attracted is in your best interest as well a selfish endeavor.
Bezlichnyy m
.
I personally feel like Hank Green. I'm built for monogamy. I don't even hug people who I love I just do favors I think that stens from my autism.
So, how does a guy interested in you approach you? Are you in a relationship? Is there "extra room" for another person?
Yeah, people tend to get bored with being with the same person all the time. We like variety and to try something different and new. For a Monogamous relationship to work ,we must sacrifice our own needs in order to have a happy family if that is what you want. Then deal with all the misery of lack of freedom. And when you are in a monogamous relationship you are owned and they own you. So, I don't blame you on being a single polyamorous person. You just wouldn't be a good fit for a decent man looking to build a stable and secure home life with just one woman. However, I do believe that self centered activity doesn't help relationships to thrive monogamous or not. It just ends up being another exclusive club of individuals to divide others by saying to the world, " hey look what I can do". Otherwise we would all be doing it. And if multiple relationships were the norm you'd probably go the other way. So, go ahead and pursue your desires and whims. Try not to worry too much about accountability because they aren't either. Good luck
This is the first time that I've heard someone talk about this. I had to drink my coffee slowly.
Do you all these times went for blood test each time with a different people?
Birth control (a recent phenomenon relative to humans' evolutionary history) allows women to have the freedom to be in open relationships. There are few societal support systems for un-partnered women with children.
This feels like a fancy word of wanting to cheat lol
Wait a minute...6:36
I think she was talking about being close with the other person's family and kids. Not in a sexual way, rather in a way of not being hidden from the partner's relatives. That was my impression of what she said.
I would love to know what you truly meant Melissa!
Im a man who values loyality and monogamy. Im okay with non-monogamy. But then i date other people as well and also keep my ressources for myself. If you want to be independent and explore yourself. Its your free choice i accept. Dont even think i will take care of you and take responsibility for you. Do it for yourself. Its about accountability. This lifestyle is nice but wait until you get older and have no one to play a cardgame with because you threated them like a second choice.
Monogamy is not natural
No truer words have ever been said. I mean none of the other primates are monogamous so why should we be?
Monogamy as a socioculturally constructed contract may not be, but the desire to be in a pair bond with someone forever is still real even if is a rarity in nature.
Thanks for posting. Yumm!
6:35 incest and pedophilia are now okay? Some poor child out there is hurting and corrupted. Adults can do as adults will but please let's keep the children innocent.
Incest is ok if it's between consenting adults.....Homo Sapiens have lessons to learn before they can become Truly Human.
I'm pretty sure she means having close bonds & relationships with other adults who have children, not having romantic/adult connections with children. But I see how her phrasing is unclear there! :)
I like it keep it up most people are cowards period
so does that mean u sleep around
Larry steiner nothing wrong with that
And if she does. How is that any of your concern ?
The pro's & cons of monoamory versus polyamory - here's Aunty Melissa... (shared to fb & g+)
Those who are critical of this type of lifestyle should watch what Esther Perel has to say about relationships.
Jesus and God have something to say
about relationships
@@walterromanoff2953And so do Darth Vader and Sauron
But Jeebus sez...
If I'm being totally honest. I wouldn't care if my woman was non-monogamous if! There were no STDs and she could only get pregnant by me. But since STDs are real, and ovaries aren't selective, monogamy is necessary. For you, sweetheart, the reason you had those apprehensions is because that dude wasn't enough for you. It doesn't mean he isn't an amazing guy, it doesn't mean he wouldn't be another woman's moon and stars, it just means he wasn't yours. There's nothing wrong with that. If you had a different guy, the kind who makes your body explode with an expert touch, you wouldn't be thinking about other dudes.
+Sal C
What you are saying is an assumption. Perhaps some people are just not suited to monogamy, no matter how wonderful or "expert" any lover they could meet may be.
johnny b monogamy shouldn't suit anyone. It's the silliest shit ever. My wife and I have sex maybe one or two times every two months. If that. It's a miserable situation but let's explore the alternative. I could hook up with different people and end up with pus pouring out my pipe or I can stay in my miserable marriage and long for death.
+Sal C
All STDs are either curable or treatable. Even people with AIDS can now have ongoing treatment and live indefinitely (much as people with diabetes do), though unfortunately there is a minority who don't respond well to treatment.
Sal C thank you for that, you've made a case for me. took both arguments to their negative extreeme equally.
great point
Your going to come to the rationale that being non monogamous serves a quick fix. Than later on down the road is self destructive. If you want a real relationship learn how to be happy with yourself.
I mean I've been in a committed non-monogamous relationship for 11 years now with my longest time partner, so uh...pretty sure your logic is flawed there my guy haha. Non-monogamy IS me being happy with myself
Are you fulfilled in yourself constantly jumping from relationship to relationship how is that being happy ?
I am not against you on being poly but be careful and practice safe sex.
7:44 = sane single people everywhere
I wish more women would think like you.
Your so beautifuli it is great that multiple men can cherish you
I love this so much ❤❤
Dr Chris Ryan find him
I have no clue what all was said.. Everything was all freakin jumbled up too many freakin thoughts. I tell u what.. I don't gotta problem with women tha just wanna have fun.. What I do have a problem with is pretending tha this ain't tha case. Lying. Not disclosing. Being upfront. Wanting authenticity but being a fake energy sucking narcassist.. Honesty is a two way street. If ya just abt hooking up just be a mature adult be upfront.. Anybody tha betrays, is dishonest and messes with another's head and heart?
I'm not accusing this woman of being like so,but if ya find yourself avoiding any conflictual issue with 1 of yo playmates cuz of ya being enigmatic ,secretive?
You better be careful abt choices ya make.. These times are crzy as hell and I'm not surprised peepz are snapping and killing. I dnt condone but when somebody effs with yo head and crushes wha had seemed real? Pffft. Woman &men both are accountable ,responsible for being honest. Them game playing 1s are weak dnt kno a God damn thng abt love twas replaced with thirst of power,control..
Tis so outta control the zest pool &clowns rambling on and on just shhhhh. Maybe I'm the sickest cuz I wanna now invent smthng. I wanna be yo nonmonogamous only tag along voyeuristic lil monkey. I wanna get me some popcorn/candy. Lemme enjoy tha circus . ✌
Polyamorous people aren't just hooking up lol
It's honest, stay away from a cheater!
I came to listen the other side but no, I am not at all convinced.
Monogamy is a yogic practice. It is not as easy, but I bet (I am not married yet) is the most rewarding thing one can experience with someone: real intimacy and real depth. It make you became very good at re-inventing life.
This is completely a stupid topic. Also, sorry to mention that polygamy people can’t really talk about love, love only stands for one person and only that person deserves it. On the other hand, if you say that going for another person other than your partner is love that’s absolutely a wrong statement towards the word “love” the path that you follow is called infatuation, which means you gotta grow up from your high school lifestyle and get a real life. Or just get a STD at some point in life. Very risky and not a topic that should be ethically discussed among young generations which would eventually mess up those heads and think that it’s okay to sleep or have intimate relationship with anyone they want.
I could be judgement but I'm sensing you didn't have a father around.
Generally females who haven't had a nurturing father figure tend to be the ones who end up with kids at 16.
Wtf 😳
Everyone of these women has a disaster relationship with their father.
Glad I have been sterile all my life. Well then Men should not get
married or pay alimony. Which you obviously want to increase your
ALIMONY PAYMENTS and CHILD SUPPORT. Lomotony. Go hop around from lap to lap all you want.
Would love to see where she is today!!! What a testament of NO INTEGRITY OMG !!!!!! Very misguided, lots of empathy God Help!
I can't understand how you feel. In fact I think you in the west have so much freedom to the point you want to break out of all norms.
I can't imagine a man letting his wife have sex with other men, or a women letting her husband have sex with other women.
Just imagine you are a girl living in the middle east. Do you know that you will face so much oppression you can't even imagine. Every single thing you do or say or wear will be judged. You will face sexual harassment, and discrimination in every single aspect of life.
Some men even do not let their daughters, sisters, or wives to go out of the house, they may even deny them access to health care, if the provider was a male. In some countries like Saudi Arabia women can't drive by law, and can't travel without a male companion from her family. She can't even issue a passport if her father or husband did not agree "by law".
Here where I live if you did not get married which is happening a lot nowadays, you will stay virgin for you're entire life. I am a man who lives in the middle east. I am not religious, I am 28 years old. I have never had sex in my life.
wow, my heart hurts for you. But your words are very sincere and show us how silly we're being here with out norms and customs.
Thank you
But you know a Man is a piece of shit if he screws around. A Woman these days has all this Sexual Freedom that Men do not.
screwing around is not equal to being non-monogamous
I agree with you 100%. I'm a 27 year old female living in the West. I too have never had sex in my entire life and this isn't due to a religious affliation. I am not religious. The reality is people like me are the aliens in the west.
missysmithy25 you should find a husband from the east. Men here in the west are too over sexed. Its too accessible to them. You’re not an alien you’re perfect.
In other words a bunch of bull, how come it never lasts long? Just keep it to yourself , cause what you’re trying is to persuade someone cause your options are running thin
Why are you non monogamous? Cause you don't like to be with just one person,simple answer.
I just hit it and quit it.
Maybe you and your partner don’t make each other happy. I don’t understand why you need a commitment in life
Women are crazy
Oh sweet heart stop that life style it will destroy you, please repent ,don't let the enemy of your precious SOUL deceive you wake up you look like a very good person but you need to run for your life the devil will devour you at the end you need to born again
Non-monogamous relationships sound a lot like in-denial love & sex addicts adopting a lifestyle that feeds into their worldview. The excitement and craving for a new fix you are describing has a name for it. Maybe go to a slaa meeting dude. Best of luck.
Just admit it.......... you like sex and like to experience different men.......... nothing wrong with that........ you are making this way to complicated...... unfortunately, you aren't going to find anyone who will stay with you for 50 years in an open relationship......
This was published in my birthday. I guess this video is cool. She likes to get attention here and there isn't that the same as the law of attraction. WE ALL WANT THINGS
I WANT HER RIGHT NOW LOL 😅
Wait until your next blood test comes back. You will discover WHY promiscuity is a BAD IDEA.
DavidFMayerPhD
😂😂😂😂
You can sleep with 5000 ppl and be clean or 1 and get HIV it's quality over quantity.
@@PabloGonzalez-hv3td If you sleep with 5000 people, you are nearly certain to get an STD, regardless of precautions.
@@DavidFMayerPhD No you're not. Each occasion is its own independent event.
@@PabloGonzalez-hv3td No technique to prevent infection from sexual contact is 100% effective. The Mathematics of Probability says as follows:
If the chance of getting an infection from promiscuous sex is reduced to ONE PER TEN THOUSAND, chance of NOT getting infection equals (9999/10000)^5000 [(9999/10000) to the 500th power] = 0.606, chance of getting infection is 1.000-0.606 = 0.393 or 39.3%. Not a good bet. If we change probability of infection to one per thousand, chance of not getting infected drops to (999/1000)^5000 = 0.007, so chance of infection rises to 0.993=99.3%; In other words, like juggling nitroglycerine bottles.
No just ,no
Good girl. More women need to be like this. It is best when women have sex, without expecting a relationship.
Gross
Haha, you're kidding, right?
If not: Welcome to the 21st century.
Magnus Leuthner: 21st century sucks in that respect. People playing musical chairs with their genitals IS gross. Monogamy just works out best for everyone ;) Our ancestors didn't get everything wrong.
Godfrey Tomlinson The scientific consensus seems to be that people did not live in monogamous relationships 200.000 years ago.
Magnus Leuthner: 200k years ago is a long time. They probably had some sort of system where the top 5% of males would impregnate all the females. Is that the kind of world you want to live in today?
Godfrey Tomlinson there is no evidence for such a behaviour. I wouldn't want to live that way, no, but I didn't argue from a natural state, you did.
Very bad u don’t know meaning love