The Ideal Romantic Partner for INTPs
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- #INTP #myersbriggs #INTPRomance #INTPLove
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Today we're talking about a common questions I get which is "Which Type is the Ideal Romantic Partner for INTPs?" which is actually quite common in the type community as a whole.
Many people who are new to personality typing see this as a tool to find the right people for their lives, however, it can sometimes be an excuse to further prejudices we have and wholesale exclude personality types from our pool of possibilities.
In this video we talk about potential types that could resonate with INTPs but more-so speak on why any type could be a good fit.
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Christian Rivera creates videos and courses that support self-coaching and investigation of mental health, relationships, personality, shadow, and other depth content. These videos are for entertainment, self-diagnosis, self-assessment, self-experimentation, and expressions of Christian's own personal process and development. He is not a mental health professional so any actions taken from the content of these videos is the responsibility of the viewer. Any advice given is from the lens of personal experience and self-acquired knowledge.
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I am an INTP and I'd totally date myself. A whole roller coaster ride. So interesting.
Haha
I just want like a clone of myself
KÆI me too. I’m the ideal romantic partner for myself. We’d make a great couple.
Sounds terrible tbh
I wouldn't want to date myself. I'm number one, and two can't be thinking that.
I also don't mean I won't put her before myself, I just mean I need someone dedicated to supporting me, like the istj I'm with now.
You seem very developed as an INTP. Especially as a communicator 👏🏽
Thank you! 😎 🤘 💜
I am ENFP, and I've dated ISFJ, ISFP, INFP, also there is widely known that INTJ should be an ideal partner for me (but I am kinda scared of them :D), but now I am involded with INTP. Best relationship I've ever had. Now I understand that I really need logical type of partner, because sometimes he shoots some thoughts out of the blue that makes me suprised and I say "wow, this is genius, You've said it way better than I would!", and he also loves my social and feeling parts of personality. So everything You said in this video depicts our relationship, and I love it. Hooray for INTP's! :D
Yeah! Glad that's working out for you! You just never know where great partnership can come from!
In a work environment an INTP is a great person to ask to define the problem in detail from all angles so if you conceptualize relationships as a 'work evnvironment' you can exploit that abillity.
@Antionette Novella like when you run out of toilet paper ?
Lol It's always ENFPs that look for me. I find them too basic for my brain lol
@@antoinettenovella1630 Yes, usually when someone finds me predictable I act the total opposite way out of fear... I don't like it when people are controlling to me emotionally...
I am an INFJ and have dated 2 INTP's. For someone who does not fall in love easily, I find myself irresistibly pulled to INT- types... There's just an easy, deep mental connection that makes me unable to leave. I also find INT- types so intelligent, calm, admirable, and their taciturn nature is SO alluring to me.
I agree with this from personal experience.
You described it perfectly
I'm an INFJ too and I'm totally agree with you.
As an intp i found myself wanting to be with another intp. Obviously it didn’t work out😂 it was crazy how him and I were SO much alike though
Yeah, I think a balance is having plenty in common yet having enough individuality to keep it interesting. We talk about this in our relationships course quite a bit.
you can watch social compatiblity on cs joseph there is also explained why two of the same type dosnt work out
😅😅😅
Did you ever get into a competition to be 'most profound' and more interesting in your own thinking than the other person?
Cybernetic Butterfly we didn’t but personally I would tend to get upset, stressed, sad, and a bit jealous when he showed to be smarter and more knowledgeable than I was. Because of that I started to become interested in knowledge and started to try and learn what he has learned. So, neither of us were in competition per se, but in my mind I felt inferior and became a bit competitive, I just didn’t express my competitiveness, if that makes any sense? I also fell for an ENTP and became to the feeling of feeling inferior again because he was so smart, and it made me frustrated and sad.
Me as an INTP entering in a relationship :
1st month: wow it's fun to be inlove
2nd month: oh, it's getting boring
3rd month: okay, so what's the point of entering a relationship?
Fuck love, just live a life.
😂
Relationships always thrive if you water it :D
I mean a relationship only lasted me 3 days XD, we were better off friends
I can relate
That was my experience, just that it lasted less than a week 🧍🏽♀️
INTP life motto:
"Screw it, why the hell not."
If a reason for why not to do something is found, we will listen to it, but if not...
Might as well try 😂
Really..? The one I know finds so many reasons why things may not work.. 🙈
@@acharich that's what happens when we let ourselves overthink instead of do.
@@acharich
Well, only one route can be the best. Almost everything fails at something, perfect solutions may never be found. If so take the least flawed way.
My girlfriend and I recently did our Myers-Briggs test and found out that we are “the golden pair”. She’s an INFJ and I’m an INTP.. this all makes so much sense. We compliment each other very well and pull the right things out of each other. It’s the perfect balance of similarities and differences. Coming up on 7 years soon. Apparently we’re a unicorn and the chances of us finding each other was very low.. interesting how life works.
It certainly can be a good combo! Just keep communicating, growing and connecting. Sounds like you'll do great! 😎 🤘🏼 💜
As a female intp, I've had two relationships with entp's and it was a disaster. They rely too much on subjective rationalization and it's exhausting how illogical they can be. Also I believe I'm more drawn to feelers because we tend to overanalyze everything and feel insecure in the relationship, so they give us the reassurance that we need. I think that, for me at least, a more sociable INFJ or a less sociable ENFJ would be the best match!
Those sound like good fits. Just remember to give each person a chance to show who they are, not just how they use their functions 😎🤘🏼💜
Define subjective rationalization. Now I'm worried I might rely on it too much because I have no clue what it means.
I’m a female INTP and I rock with ENTJs. I don’t love feeling the feelings though. I imagine that ENFJs would be great if you like feelers.
I’ve been with my ENTJ 8 years and I couldn’t ever imagine myself being with a feeler again. We compliment each other really well and he is so calm that he centers me. For us it’s a great balance. We both like our space but have really fulfilling conversations. I feel like he’s my soul mate (if they exist).
I sometimes wonder if the genders matter - as in would an intp male be a good fit for an ENTJ female.
Sometimes, I think gender or identity related to gender tends to influence how we behave, see ourselves, and how we connect with others, so I'd say it's a factor no different than upbringing, ideology, or culture.
That's awesome. Happy for you Sarah.
@@TheINTPProblem True - Naturally I'm INTP but due to culture/society/upbringing influence our behavior but it conflicts with our nature and at end of everything we end up with our natural tendencies
I think this will be me soon with either an ESTJ or ENTJ. I don't think me and feelers work long term. But who knows.
I think INFJ INTP is a good base for a relationship, however, all other human relationship factors still play a major role. Emotional maturity, intelligence, priorities, connection, taste, investment. All of these things have to be aligned for any relationship to work regardless of personality type (as you mentioned). But if all of these things are aligned, then from experience I can say that an INFJ INTP relationship can be warm, effortless, and fulfilling. We can use each other's gifts to balance one another out perfectly thereby offering each other more stability and happiness than we could ever achieve by ourselves, without becoming co-dependent. But 'balance' is the keyword here. All of the factors previously mentioned have to be aligned and such natural alignment is hard to come by, especially taking into consideration how rare these types are. You could argue that such alignment is something you have to build towards, which to a certain degree it is, BUT in the case of INFJ INTP, I think it's really important that from the start, the alignment comes mostly (say like 80%) naturally. Where other types might be more able to build alignment up from scratch, INFJ INTP is a recipe for disaster if the ingredients aren't accurately laid out for them from the start. The INFJ needs this natural alignment in order for them to not end up twisting and bending all their boundaries to fit the mold and the INTP needs the alignment because they will only bend so far. Even healthy, mature INFJ's and INTP's will find that these weaknesses are just part of who they are. If from the start you aren't at that 80%, the tweaking becomes too taxing on both the INFJ and the INTP which will lead to 1) a breakup or 2) an unhealthy dynamic that will likely look like an exhausted INFJ and an oblivious/withdrawn INTP or an exhausted INFJ and an Fe triggered INTP in distress. Of course, all of this is just an opinion based on personal experience, but I think I'm on to something here. - An INFJ-A
And with that said, I don't think my current (INTP) boyfriend and I will ever truly fall out of love, nor did my (also INTP) ex and I. We can only fall out of circumstances and decide it's not worth it, but the connection is eternal. And that's beautiful. And that type of love is one that I have only ever found with INTP's.
That's awesome, and I actually agree with that assessment from my own experience.
Well said and thank you for sharing your experience :D
I really appreciate your insights. I’ve been a secret fan on twitter and have been meaning to start bingeing some of your content. This video was great and I’m sharing it with an INTP friend! I’m an INFJ who’s married to an ISFJ, but I’ve always had an instant connection with INTPs. The one that’s worked on developing his Fe has been an amazing friend to me. There are other intuitive types I love, but INTPs just seem to get me the most, make me laugh more than anyone else, and are my favorite people to brainstorm and workshop ideas with. I highly value their Ti and I wish more people saw how incredibly valuable it is.
Thank you for that! I think in the way that E*FJ need to believe in their own self-worth internally, I think INTPs need more of that Fe external validation to really believe in their value in the world.
I think no matter the type, the more mature a person is, the easier a relationship with any other type is. But this does feel a little more true true for INTPs because emotional awareness is so important in a relationship and immature INTPs are just downright awful at it.
That said, INFJs and INTPs can be a bit star-crossed in my experience. There is definitely a chemistry there that makes it super easy for these types to fall in love. But staying in love is a different story. Even with mature INTPs, the INFJ will almost always end up doing the heavy lifting in maintaining the relationship and often comes to resent the INTP for it. Once the chemicals of infatuation wear off the INTP takes the INFJ for granted like most things external to his own mind.
I say this as a male INTP who has dated several female INFJs. We honestly just suck at maintaining anything outside our own mind and that's why I believe even though the most natural spark we have is with INFJ, the best long term partner for us must be one of the ENxJ types who has the energy levels and directness to keep us grounded in the real world and call us on our shit early, while still having the all important N that lets us connect intellectually.
While it's true that these things can happen, they are not absolutes. Any relationship takes the dedication of two people to make it work. INTPs sell themselves short by assuming their weakness with emotional care is most certain defeat but it takes both parties to know each other, manage expectations and create an environment together that fosters togetherness and partnership.
INTPs don't need a handler as a partner, which is where the "my partner is a child" stereotypes come from. What INTPs need to work on is communicating needs, checking in regularly with their partner and finding someone who respects them for who they are regardless of the type.
INTP/INFJ complement each other so well. At least, I feel that with my INFJ pals...haven't had the fortune to date one. 😬
They can be so very lovely. I always loved coaching and teaching INFJs as they are very grateful for the brain dump of info 😂 I certainly feel appreciated.
@@TheINTPProblem I think we both can lose perspective...INTPs out in space, INFJs lost at sea. We give each other the exact antidotes to stay "grounded."
I am INTP, daughter is an INFJ. We compliment each other well but also drive each other crazy at times
I am an INTP and my boyfriend is an ISFJ and, at first, I thought that we were not going to work out because we're so different but actually he became more logical and I became more emotional and those differences were the ones that we found attractive in the other at first.
Amazing! So glad to hear that! 😎 🤘🏼 💜
Hey, can you give some examples of how ISFJ and INTP differs? Something specific, please. For example "INTP don't really do this" or "INTP doesn't even think about this but ISFJ do" or "this is something l have noticed, ISFJ do something like this" etc.
l have thought of myself as an ISFJ for a long time but now l am thinking maybe l am an INTP.
6:54
"Because the world in large doesn't value the introverted thinking, we can assume that nobody wants that."
This so true. I am in job-finding/application period right now and I get this assumption non-stop.
Sometimes we gotta work on playing the game a little more. Especially when searching for a job you've gotta put on a smile a bit. It's frustrating sometimes but that's just how the world works sometimes.
As an enfp, my only type (which im automatically drawn to even without knowing the personality type) is only and only infj and intp. Somehow they are the only ppl i understand, look upto and get that deep connection with. After a while i dont even have to use words, only eyes communicate. Also for someone creative, intps and infjs opened a whole a gateway in my brain. ❤❤❤❤
That's awesome! I've known some amazing people who have those best-fit types!
True story: I just discovered I am an ENFJ. I asked all my closest friends (4) to take the test and they are all INTP's. These are my closest friends that I talk to several times a week and we share "I love you's" regularly.
I have 3 other friends that I think of as having a different type of bond with that are the same ENFJ that I am.
All my close associations are my best match or are the same rare type I am.
I am really impressed about how unlikely the statistical chance this could happen randomly if there is no truth to this personality classification system.
That is pretty amazing! Sounds like you have some wonderful people around! 😎 🤘🏼 💜
I really like your intro. I think it is very INTP too.
Thank you!
How is “mental health empowerment” is very INTP?
@@manhalnaddour125 👀👀👀
@@manhalnaddour125 well.... you know
I’ll say my experience.
Types I can’t date and most INTPs can’t date: ESFJs, ESTJs, ISTJs
These types are very judgmental and critical of INTP habits and they’re very impatient. They’re also so traditional.
Personality types that are possible to date but difficult to find.
INFJ, INTJ, ENTJ
These types INTPs can get along with very well but they’re rare types and they’re SO busy. Every ENTJ or INTJ I’ve met is so busy and hard to stay in contact with.
Personality types that are fun to chat with for a really long time.
INFPs, ENFPs, ENTPs
These types have so many ideas and can talk about many things. Though of course they’re very unorganized so if your goal is to find an organized productive relationship then it’ll be difficult.
Personality types that are ok to chat with but the conversations feel so mindless and hard to hold
ESFPs, ESTPs, ISTPs
Types that are very relaxed and supportive though really deep conversations are difficult
ENFJs, ISFJs, ISFPs
Too similar
Other INTPs
So it depends on your gosh with the relationship. Do you want someone who is supportive and relaxed? Do you want someone who you can chat about lots of things and be messy? Do you want a relationship where they’re hard to find but busy?
I personally don’t recommend dating other INTPs, and ISTJs, ESTJs, ESFJs too impatient and judgmental.
Some people think ISFJs are judgmental but ISFJs are a lot more tolerant and quiet and can chat with longer and can find common ground.
Another thing INTPs should know is turbulent vs assertive. Turbulent types are very stressed and emotional while assertive types are more relaxed. I’ve met turbulent ENFPs and assertive ENFPs and turbulent wants cry a lot while assertive are calm. I’ve also met assertive and turbulent ISFJs and turbulent ones get stressed easily while assertive are lazy and chill.
But ESFJs are judgmental either way because Fe-Si makes them want lots of attention while ISFJs Si-Fe makes them more quiet.
Either chat relationship, supportive relationship, busy relationship, mindless relationship, or judgmental relationship you pick 😂
I wouldn't pick who to date based on personality alone. Get to know people and they'll often surprise you.
@@TheINTPProblem it generally means what you want in a relationship
Couldn't say it any better
@@TheINTPProblem
An INTP would not succum to single variable analysis without being in serious distress. Underthinking is the last thing you'd expect an INTP to commit to.
Im not here to bash someone, but here's my perspective on this one, all based on long experience with SFJs, introverted in particular. They are in fact the most judgement of them all, they are Si dom which means traditional ways, the "how it should be", over-attachment to past experiences (in form of research, studies, personal or someone else's experience. this is why they are careful listeners, Si gathers data. the whole edu system is literally built for SJs - they want proven facts not ideas). Si dom + Ti child = modus operandi. And therefore, when someone does smth not "how it should be"/ the socially accepted way - they judge. If they hate that person - it's a total unacceptance, "silent hate" but well masked as tolerance, very subtle. Usually you see them as SJW. They like to include others (Fe parent assisting SiTi process) and share opinions, which is essentially - gossiping.
I've been surrounded by them, and unfortunately had to cut them off. ENTPs, whom I see as great people readers, even they fail to spot it. Here's why: ISFJs are their Unconscious, hence their blind spot. ENTPs learn through experience, years later. INFXs (esp. INFPs) see through them quicker than any other type.
Si is all about self-preservation, led by the question "what's in it for me", followed by Fe to make things happen, usually and obviously through the Fe people skills. Their introversion makes it hard to spot their shadow traits, because it's very little expressed outwardly (if ever) if they want things a certain way and/or if situation is perceived as beneficial. While ESFJs may look like chitchatty gossipers, ISFJs are highly invested in being perceived as good/smart/classy, while secretly looking down on anyone who doesn't match "how it should be".
Many types are misrepresented in MBTI community, and this type in particular.
ENFJ = kryptonite
ENTJ = compliment
INTJ = inspiration
INFJ = dynamite
All NFJ relationships have potential for utter misunderstandings about each other and they can trigger each other’s worries.
I think NTJs seem like ‘calmer’ relationships with a defined spark and inspiration between both that is undeniable. These types seem the most steady and intense but that’s incredibly appealing to me.
Of the sensing types I could date ISTJ or ESTP. Encyclopedias are fun if they’re not judgemental and if ESTPs are settled enough for me to feel comfortable their straight forward take action approach to life is a great compliment to INTPs.
👍🏼👍🏼
I'm an intp dating an infp, and it is the best relationship that I have ever had. Intuitive conversations aplenty
As an infp I appreciate the intp so very much.
This was pretty nice to hear, I’m an intp and my boyfriend is an infj, hopefully it works out lol
Best of luck :D
INTP here, I tried making it work out but the INTJ i was with kept going into depressive spirals and i was emotionally exhausted. Hope yours is going well!
ENFP here, just love my INTP so much :’)
So glad! I can feel the love 😍
I'm an INTP and I'm super attracted to ISFJs...
My sister is an INFJ and we get along very well. I've never met an infj guy, but I think I met an ENFJ guy and I thought he was very charming, but a bit too jolly for me.
Lol jolly ? Could you explain more why it didn’t work? Isn’t the inferior Ti supposed to clash?
I found your channel not long ago while watching mbti related stuff, just wanted to say I like what you're doing (also love the colors and the whole aesthetic btw)
I seem to be a INFP magnet for some reason. I tried to make it work, but I didn't get much out of those relationships. I wanted something different than what they could offer me. Now that I know more about mbti, I realized I'd feel complete with an ENTJ partner.
I need someone that can push me to do things, motivate me to achieve my goals. I'd love someone that values my
advice and what I have to say. Someone that can take my ideas and bring them to life. Maybe that's too much to hope for, idk
It's definitely not too much to hope for. I'd also say that you can get that from multiple types. An ENTJ may push themselves or have you help them more than they'd push you but it depends on the person. Every person will have a different of going about life so certainly don't limit your options. Also, motivation isn't always going to come from an external source. It's good for yourself to simply get into a habit of create and letting your potential hear your ideas, encourage you and cheer you on :)
Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you're here!
I'm married to an ENTJ and we've been together for nearly 20 years and it works. We had a stage years ago where we used to argue a lot and I would end up in tears but he is so loyal and persistent in his affections and can apologise if he is wrong, and he would never let me go, which makes me feel very secure. Arguing led to understanding and it is very rare for us to argue now that we know each other so well, and it's never very serious and doesn't last long. I really respect and love the FJs but sometimes the feeling types who are high in neuroticism get really hurt by our honesty even when we are only trying to bond in a playful manner or be helpful, and they can be highly critical of us if they don't really understand us. The ENTJs are not thin-skinned. You don't have to worry about something being taken the wrong way. They can be bossy and demanding, and even insulting, and can swear a lot (I've had to get used to that), but I think they have hearts of gold. They greatly respect our intelligence and if they know us they don't act like we are deficient or irritating as some of the more pontificating FJs do (which can become a covert form of bullying). And I respect and admire them enormously for everything they are.
@@TheINTPProblem That's good because I don't wanna be pushed too much, just enough to keep me going lol
And INTPs aren't know for limiting their options, so no worries on that front! But yeah, I definitely have a lack of motivation and I'm aware it's something that can't be fixed by anyone else but myself, but it'd certainly help to have someone around that cares whether or not I do something productive with my day..
Anyway, thanks for replying!
@@xero6396 Exactly! I don't want to tiptoe around someone just to avoid upsetting them, especially when I'm trying to help. I just want a genuine relationship where we can be brutally honest, learn from each other and grow.
@@elireum I couldn't have put it better.
Lol. I was hoping you’d say INTJ. My bf is an INTP.
There is no objective perfect partner. The keys of any relationship are bigger than personality type. Communication, patience, and respect. Oh and don't stop being curious about each other.
Glad to hear you think we can work with any type. CS Josiah is down on those dating in their own quadra. For some reason I keep connecting with ISFJs. I just left an 18 year marriage with one, but it was the narcissism that destroyed the compatibility.
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've had. My ex-wife is an ISFJ and we had our own issues. And usually those issues are not type specific. Any healthy type could connect with another healthy type. Over time some things just don't jive anymore.
Yeah, ISFJs can be narcissistic but they're always presented as THE most self-sacrificing people. I know a narcissistic ISFJ and they can't be anything other than that, try as I might to consider other options such as ISFP or an INFX. The unhealthy ones are nothing like they are presented.
@@xero6396 Part of what I didn't see was though I was drawn to her love of her children, I didn't realize I would never be viewed as family and when I needed help co-parenting she stuck by her kids even when they were wrong and never treated my kids as equal.
I've been dating an INTJ for 2 years now and i think i couldn't find a better person for
me, she understands me perfectly, but at the same time we balance each other pretty well.
That's amazing! So happy for you! 😎 🤘🏼 💜
Yes! Love this. I’m ENFP (and my name happens to be Molly😊) and my man is INTP. Once we developed mutual understanding for each other’s Ti and Fi nature, they didn’t need to clash, they actually make a powerful team. I think the shared values of being curious, lifelong learners, a growth mindset mentality, and allowing each other to be ourselves with the permission, space and freedom to do so, are the strong foundation. He is truly curious about me and I feel seen. I am truly non-judgmental and so he can feel safe. And yes, he says things so articulately that I would ramble on forever about trying to explain. One of my favorite times was he was listening to me sharing a bunch of thoughts and he said, “Oh, I get it. Hanging out in a mental hospital and hanging out in a Starbucks don’t feel any different for you”.
Probably the most understood I ever felt😊
Super sweet and so glad it's working out! My Molly amazes me every day and I couldn't be happier! 😎 🤘🏼 💜
Exactly!! Right?? ❤❤
IMO, ESFJs are the worst in compatibility. Our think ing process is totally opposite. If they don’t appreciate and feel intimidated then it’s doomed.
Most of my relationships I’ve found my partners became very competitive because they felt intimidated but they would not admit it.
It can definitely be a challenging pairing. INTPs do have to bend and compromise as well to speak to the relationship challenges and make our partners feel seen, safe, and respected.
I dont think so, due to he/she have Ne, it must be possible to ESFJ. ESFJ love we very much though I search on based on some web. The problem are we. Like Yuigahama Yui to Hachiman. The broken INTP would like to attract for some mother figure like ESFJ. But the most worst are with Ni function that around tertiary or inferior. They are more stubborn than ever I know than Dom Ni aor Ni as auxiliary function.
Ouch. I can hear that. My ESTP heart just falls into pieces 💔
@L3OI I like ESTPs but there's something missing.
Hey, ENFP here. I'm in the very early stages of a potential relationship with an INTP. Maybe I'm involved with an immature INTP, but he seems to be very confused with what he wants. He has had bad experiences in the past, and so is extra withdrawn. He is also very VERY bad at expressing emotion. What could be going on inside his head? I've talked to him about it, and he's been very open with me, but it's clear he is confused. Is that normal for an INTP? Are you withdrawn at the start? Do you not persue? Or you do, but its subtle? I'm wanting to avoid getting strung along like I have woth INTJs in the past... Loved the video!! Thank you!!
Good questions.
Yes, INTPs can confuse ourselves quite easily. Especially in love we wrestle with logic versus emotion. We feel this contradictory pull towards wanting a partner but it "makes sense" to be alone. We usually have to work through the notion, personally, of taking that leap and risk while letting go of the logic. Truth is, we need to accept emotion as valid information and experiences.
Emotions are also very uncomfortable for INTPs. To me, someone going straight for my emotions feels like being cat-called.
I'm not ready for this, I don't want it, stop asking, leave me alone.
The solution is two-fold:
1. Access emotions through intuition and activate their play and curiosity. Ask questions related to what they're excited or thinking about. "What's on your mind?" "What are you thinking about?" "What are you curious about right now?"
Specifically about the relationship you can ask "What are you thoughts on being together?" "What do you like about me?" and being sure to compliment them as well because we like feedback for who we are. We don't get enough of that.
My partner is an ENFP and she was very straightforward with me about how she felt. It felt like permission to be honest about how I felt. And she was playful about it. It wasn't this serious intense moment where I had to get the words right. She made me feel comfortable that it's okay to be messy about my expression (because feelings and expression can feel quite embarrassing).
2. Hold space for the answers. I know this can be tough for an ENFP to hold space for Ti stuff but I promise the emotion will come with enough processing out loud. We extrovert our feeling, that means we are not only expressing out loud but usually figuring out how we feel out loud. We don't show up knowing how we feel and I think an INTP can cling to the idea of wanting to get it right, which means a lot of inaction or little expression. Encourage them to just talk and remind them that you're a space to do that and figure it out out loud.
Bottom line, many of us are usually not talking because we want to say the right thing the right way and we put way too much thinking into it. Do what you do best as an ENFP and encourage playful messy expression and you'll get the answers you need.
Let me know how it goes. Good luck! 😎🤘💜
I'm an INTP that is trying to work out whether to pursue an ENFP that seems to have more in common with me or an INTJ that is very different, but seems a match from a Myers-Briggs perspective. That's neither here nor there, but I think it can be very subjective on how well INTPs express emotions based on how developed their subconscious is. I am very expressive from the problem solving perspective. If I'm too introverted I will 1, be overlooked and 2, not be giving the woman and I the information we need to know if we are compatible. Sometimes the reality check is that if you as an INTP stay too far in your comfort zone you are sentencing yourself to be alone.
Oh man, I'm an ENFP male & this is super accurate for the situation I'm in in with an INTP female.. 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
That’s absolutely normal. Sound a lot like me)
To quote ENTP CS Joseph, Nt's efforts at pursuit come off very cringe and if they are pursued its much better for them.
As I'm mature and experienced now-
I know now that what is imp and not imp in life for me.
As a INTP - (N+P) intuitions and perceiving are imp for me. And I think my partner should honor the same . Perceiving - to be open minded for new possibilities
And as an INTP to complement my weakness to strength of (E+F) - I am open to learn and grow my (E+F) aspects.
I would like to know more that how ENFP thinks about INTP as a complement
Thanks for the suggestion!
As an infj, I’m convinced I’m an intp magnet
That happens sometimes haha
I am open-minded and who I get attracted to and it's reciporicated is what matters ultimately.
I do have a tendency to be attracted to xxFP types. ENFJs are ones I really end up attracted to also.
I love that you're open-minded. That's fantastic. There can be some trends that emerge but it's nice to know that we always a find a way to jive with any personality type.
I guess someone who could just accept our blunt honesty as naturally interesting/romantic in weird way. Entj>intj>entp>istp>enfp>isfj>infp. The most attractive one is literally infp, but infp is the most challenging. Infp expect highly idealistic partner and infp is highly sensitive one. The most ideal one should be entj. The most fun one would be intj. Enfp would be the most chill one. Infj is the most at ease one, feel amazing with infj. Istp and isfj in reserved in case there's an 'failure'.
Thanks for your perspective! I think all of these depend on their quality of life and health and experience.
@@TheINTPProblem totally makes sense. But i'm here telling my subjective experience and also opinion, so it might be one of consideration for others before jump into relationship with other. Because by default, it's safe to assume that potential partner based on their type has certain tendency to certain weakness and certain strength. While relationship even though heavily rely on maturity as a requirement, relationship is subjective because there are a lot of feeling going on there, so people have certain taste preference towards ideal partner i guess, certain dynamic is preferred. Thus it makes sense if i share what i preferably want to be with for myself.
I tend to go for ISFJ's. I could go with an ESFJ but it's easier to connect with an ISFJ because they are mild mannered. For me it is to be more in touch with my Ti and Fe. I can be blunt and straight forward. It's hard to factor in another person's feelings and tailor my message to that it's not so abrasive. ISFJ's are good at being tactful.
I certainly have my own soft spot for ISFJs.
Am I the only INTP here that is alone for almost 10 years?
I'm sure you aren't.
im an entj/infj female and i had a short relationship with intp..... i think we would be a great couple but unfortunately we had to break up because of things that we couldnt change. it was a perfect match in my opinion....
I'm sorry that happened and I'm sure there will be new opportunities coming your way! 😎 🤘🏽 💜 🙏🏽
1.75 speed is perfect. thanks for the video. Question. Is it my ADD that makes videos hard to watch unless they are sped up or my INTP? By the way this is in no way a dig on your video style. It's a dig on myself because I can't focus on some things.
I appreciate you owning that it's you because I get blamed for being boring a lot haha but I think I do good work, at least some of the time haha.
I spent a long time listening to podcasts at high speed and I think that happens when perhaps not using Fe as much. You're just scanning for the pertinent information, which is totally fine. ADD could of course be a factor but it's pretty common to listen at multiple times speed, otherwise the feature wouldn't exist :D
INTP here. I typically listen at 1.5 times if not 1.75 irrespective of the speaker or content. Not to sound arrogant because we have our mental shortcomings (focus, lol) but I think it has to do with how fast INTP’s can soak in information. My friend once heard me listen to a lecture at 2x speed and said “there’s NO way you can understand him”.
I love your mustache. Now I'm jealous
haha I appreciate that!
I'm just here to get a feel for every type so I can identify them without having to ask people to take the test.
Fair enough!
I’m an ISFJ female talking to an INTP female. I think what interests me the most is the fact that she’s a mystery to me and doesn’t openly express her feelings like I do. I think the differences between us is what makes me wanna know/understand her more tbh
The mystery is most definitely alluring!
INFJ for sure.
Can be!
GF is isfj.....I'm intp, if I could talk without hurting her feelings things would be so amazing. I'm trapped between holding my tounge and feeling absolutely miserable and being honest and risking saying something hurtful.
Your truth is all you've got. Walking on eggshells is no relationship. Don't be a jerk but don't be afraid either. If you're not trying to offend then that's also your truth.
@@TheINTPProblem that "your" truth threw me off 😂
Yes. I feel you.
~intp.
Me, watching this so I can find which anime character would be the best match for me, a video very positive and spreading good info about healthy info:🏃💨💨
Grabbing my notebook to take notes because this is really good and helpful advice and this dude sicK: 📒🌟⭕️🌟
💜💜💜
What are your thoughts of INTP and ENTJ? I know you said really any of them, but I find myself leaning towards seeking an ENTJ to offset my weaknesses. But I'd really like your opinion.
I would veer away from finding a partner to fill out your weaknesses because a partner is an addition to your life, not someone who is going to make you whole. If someone comes into your life to fill in the missing pieces they may not respond well to that as an ENTJ is more likely to focus on doing what they want to do. It's also a myth that opposites attract, so I would stick with dating on the means of finding someone you have something in common with, similar ambitions, and general rapport. You likely won't be able to orchestrate that on purpose as you'll be surprised at how helpful and wonderful of an influence a myriad of personality types can have on your life.
@@TheINTPProblem thank you, you are correct. I knew that too but go so focused on what to look for I lost track of that. Looking for someone with a particular MBTI is just as choosey as particular looks or height. It's just another characteristic of someone.
I appreciate you correcting my course.
@@TheINTPProblem Opposites attracting isn't a myth. It is observable on multiple levels that opposites do attract in the most concrete and in the most abstract forms. For example, magnets, no explanation needed. Also, high pressure seeks low pressure, heat seeks the lack of heat, gasses expand to areas lacking in that gas. Things naturally seek equilibrium. This also generally applies to personality types. This is because when two people fill a role their is often a role left unfilled. For example, I'm an INTJ-A 97% thinking, 97% assertive. If I were to raise children with a primary thinker, my children would probably lack the "affectionate parent" role leading to my children becoming sociopaths(all INTJ's by the way from my personal experience of 11 cases, only 2 female). Also, if I were to try and make decisions with someone who was not very turbulent, there would be constant fighting and stress because nobody would have taken the submissive role. Everything seeks an equilibrium which would be appropriate for meeting the challenge of the situation presented to said thing. If an enfp and an enfp were to get together, they would be extremely prone to becoming homeless. If an INTJ and an INTJ got together, they would be extremely prone to emotionless kids. If you combine the two so that they can fill opposite roles, you get a great family dynamic which is nurturing and secure. Opposites do attract on all levels.
Well ESTJ and ENTJ can work because they are not opposite. the pair is commentary. The problem with ENTJ women that sex drive makes them go with dominate personality. Of course things do not work out with another dominate personality. In the ENTJ and INTP relationship the INTP is submissive and ENTJ is dominate so it works. With double t pair it usually tj with tp.
Good to know that there is someone in the world like me
Isn't that a great feeling? You are not alone!
i'm unactracted to a person who have multiple personality who was all the INXX type but has a dominant type of the INTP ( A.K.A.: Me)
We all have our preferences :D
I have dated an ISTJ and that didn't go well.. He was a good man but I just didn't feel like I admire him.. I didn't have that admiration and respect toward him..
I can understand that. Respect is important.
What do you think about intp and enfj?
Any pairing can work if you take time to get to know and respect each other. I would imagine the ENFJ would need to make sure they maintain their own rich circle of friends but also respect that the INTP isn't going to be privy to all of them and it's okay for you to have some friends that don't require the INTP to be involved.
@@TheINTPProblem mmm.. 🤔🔑
@@TheINTPProblem yes .... so much yes as an ENFJ with a INTP this was a major factor in enjoyment in our relationship... but me at times would be sad that my INTP wouldn’t be involved in some gatherings
Based on my observations I think this pairing tends to have a strong attraction, shared interests, recognition of goodness of heart and intent but also really struggle in disagreements for how to move through the world, social/moral values, organization etc. I see a lot of potential for frequent conflict if the parties are immature, a lot of potential for balance, intrigue, admiration, support and growth if mature
For me, the no. 1 will always be my own type. And on the second place ISTP and INFJ... and maybe INTJ if they are not too J
Awesome!
How to do I identify the traits in other people
Ask them.
as an intp extroverts like entps enfps and estps are ideal to me
It's nice to have that push from an Extravert. Otherwise, I know I'd stay inside every chance I've got haha
I’m INTP. Are there dating websites that can help me find who I need with minimal trial and error?
Tinder?
No
Yeap me too Im at that stage now. Tinder??? ❌❌❌🚫🚫🚫
I had to stop in the middle to look up the term "holding space". The idea is familiar but the actual wording is not something I've ever heard before.
It's something I've picked up moreso recently. It's helped me to calm down my scrutinizing brain while someone is talking to not to try invalidate or solve their problem but just be with them. It's taken a lot of practice.
Ideal romantic should just be whoever loves you, :))) and also, no one is perfect, it’s just knowing what kind of trait you can tolerate. I don’t think an xxFJ can tolerate me well.
I’m an INFJ and I love INTPs! Im fortunate to know few of you (as a SO as well as friends) ^^
@@Lottiya haha actually I just met an INFJ not long ago. Nice person, his Ni just throws me around alot. 😂 We need more of you INFJs
Not just whoever loves you but someone(s) you love.
it's crazy how much I preffer having a relationship with thinkers than feelers, even though I'm an INTP, maybe it's because I'm very emotional although I don't act based on it, I usually want someone how takes me back to reality when I'm drowning in my emotions
Feelers can be great at that, too. They let you have your emotions so you can process and move on.
Actually feeler means people who is capable of dealing with emotion. Thinker is the reverse. Think about it. meet some infp and you will know that. Really.
~ intp
3:00 ok this theory is totally correct, at least for me.
Thanks for your input!
NTs and SJs have the least in common and are the most incompatible with each other (albeit opposites can attract at first).
Yes, there can be some difficulty there.
I would agree to that. The relationships in my life that have been toxic have been with SJ's. That is not to say that they were bad people or toxic but more so not a healthy match with my own type.
Are most Intp demisexuals ?
No I wouldn't think so.
I love intps personality :)
The best :D
2:50 oh I was going to say ESFJ, superID and all
Totally can be a fun complimentary pair
Thanks
I'll never date another ESTJ 😒
I guess they'll have to hide that then 😁
@@TheINTPProblem Im sure they'll be pretty turned off by me anyway😬 But... if we could use our differences for the good i could try it.
I don't know why I'm listening to a video about a thing I don't care about :l
I guess I tricked you 😂 I hope you're at least enjoying yourself. If not, what do you need?
Of course i enjoy my self thanks for your videos❤ iwas just like: lest search what is the best match for a intp and two minutes later iwas like: why did I do that idont like having a partner :|
😂 I totally understand 😂 but curiosity is the guide sometimes and it's never obvious why we are learning what we're learning. I guess it helps to know for whenever you're ready. I'm very happily married and learning about dating and couple dynamics all the time. It's just interesting!
@@TheINTPProblem its how you work isn't it? You find it interesting ithink that's the whole reason why we intps live but for me these things makes me feel like a simple human who have some needs because love is spouse to make humans like each other to have reason to don't kill each other I guess that's how my brain works
Yeah, that's definitely an important aspect of human bonding 😂
👍👍👍👎👎👎👎👎👍👍👍
Cool beans 😂