My friend: Check out this cute girl Me: That is a person that I have decided is beautiful by society's standards and I would like them to validate me and have the world see that that person is with me and that raises my value in the world My friend: Oh
I feel like you are one of the last voices of sanity on the internet: human beings vs human objects. Thanks a lot for your work, it's changing my perspective on dating and I might give it a chance soon. Hugs! :D
Seriously! I appreciate Anthony's videos so much. They make me take a step back, evaluate the situation, and view people and situations with more empathy. It's so easy to get lost in the wave of social media, the online dating world, and so much more. His videos make me take a more in-depth look at myself and it reminds me that I need the right people in my life, not just anyone to fill a void.
SlinKid 😂 SAME! I’ve actually tried getting some speech/voice training, but I never started because when I was there to hear more about it, they kind of explained it so badly it didnt even seem like they were gonna work on the voice. 😵
Honestly an absolute paradigm shift that that feeling of "That person's too attractive, I'm really scared" is not attraction. Like, we usually grew up with the feeling of being anxious and nervous around our "crushes" being normal. But to say now that those people aren't actually who you want to be with, the people you are most comfortable around are, is world changing advice. "I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member." - Groucho Marx - is usually how we insecure people view the world. So many people missing out on the best relationships of their lives because they think this way!
so tell me, basically when you see the attractive person and like them for their looks it's neediness and when you get to know them and hv chemistry, it's attraction?
Attraction and neediness - two different things and how to identify them. Now I can know what I’m feeling moving forward! This is gold! ✨ thanks for this!
Great insight. You made me realize that I'm actually attracted to so few girls on tinder. This is also the case for many girls on the app who just want validation in the form of accumulating matches and Instagram followers, but then I'm no better myself. I message far less than half of my matches, and if I do, one of us always ends up ghosting eventually. We're all just in it for the dopamine rush.
I'm kind of confused. I don't do online dating but I've always been terrified to talk to anyone I find attractive because I have really bad social anxiety, and am scared to talk to anyone. Am I feeling neediness and that's why I am scared to talk to them? I know you don't necessarily know but I like being around them it just scares me because I don't want to mess it up and talking to people scares me in general so I am confused to wether I actually like them or not.
@@koral8639 Some amount of anxiety is normal any time you are talking to someone new. I would not say that anxiety necessarily indicates neediness, but there is a connection between the two. When you are needy, you put more weight on the potential success of the exchange because you "need" it to work out; this increases anxiety. In contrast, when you are not needy, you care less about the potential outcome and are more willing to just be ok with however it goes, whether it is the start to a great relationship or it clearly isn't a good fit. This is a far less anxiety-enducing context.
@@Rickyp0123 Thank you, that makes sense. I still enjoy and want to talk to them alot I've just always had really bad social anxiety and am honestly terrified to talk to anyone that I don't know super well. What you said makes sense so thanks
i agree, honesly, most guys didnt draw much attention to me, and it wasnt b they were ugly...there was just nothing there to captivate me besides 3 pictures and maaaybe a bio
makes sense with the neediness vs attraction comment. like in a movie when they have a crush on the attractive popular person despite not actually knowing them or them knowing you, but the one they end up with is their best friend.
You know, my ex gf broke up with me a few days ago after 4+ years together, and I'm glad that Felix made that video reacting to you, 'cause otherwise I would have never found you. Your content has definitely been helping me lately, so thank you. For now, I don't feel ready to be in a new relationship, but when the day comes, I'll definitely listen to your advices.
Dylan and Misoa please I know you did a poll on your story and Ethan and Emma won only because not a lot of people know about Dylan and Misoa so please do it
Most of all my matches end up with us ghosting each other. The only very few times it went any further was finding similar senses of humor and building on that. Showing your personality through your pictures is a good way to show a little bit of what you’re about
There is SO much to learn in a video. Its like a bomb of knowledge. Thank you. Its so weird that many of us have not already learned how to know how we feel, how to know what we are feeling. And you have taught me how to differentiate feelings, both from videos and your book. Thank you.
Lol I felt attacked when you said “I don’t like phone calls” or “ugh FaceTimes weird” Cuz I have MAJOR anxiety when it comes to phone calling or video chatting, I really prefer texting or face to face that’s it lol
oh man I feel it too, the advice on here is just golden nuggets of logical realness that can turn mental health and your entire inner circle of friends around just by knowing these simple facts of life
Hey everybody! Serial online dater here. I find myself all the time getting attracted to "good-looking" guys and I found myself many times in the situation where I'm not letting them go even though I've started to feel there's not more between us than just the attraction to the looks and me hoping they like me so I could feel good about myself. I love the advice and I'm ready to turn the wheel. Time to get rid off dating apps
@@kristamariau it's too late to get rid of dating apps now , you've probably slept with too much good looking guys to be truly attracted to the average man now , it's over.
@@hunterthompson6737 I'm slowly learning that it's not only about the looks. I've met a guy in my hobby that I thought was very average looking guy in a beginning. But he's really confident and his personality is amazing. And he's not afraid to look me in the eyes and smile. I think I'm crushing on him hard. The guy who I first thought was "average" looks so fucking handsome to me right now.
@@kristamariau so you're just gonna stop sleeping with good looking guys fom dating apps for an average guy ? I have a hard time believing that and if you two get in a couple i'm ready to bet it won't last long because of your body count. When you're gonna sleep with him you're gonna compare him to the good looking guys automaticaly.....
Your relationship advice seems to come right when I need it! I've been single for a long time and have been working on my battle scars from my past relationships and dating life. These videos help me so much! Thank you 🙂
Nice guys and simps are two different concepts, but Anthony has a video on 'Nice Guys'. See the reaction video of Anthony on Fedmyster and Pokimane of OfflineTV. Good luck my friend :)
Having had "nice guys" as friends.. 2 miss steps i noticed.. (not being honest with themselves) They all already had a specific person they decided they would essentially marry.. Someone they knew but never approached the subject with. This messed up every other possible romantic situation as it shifted the focus from.. Do we like each other to.. This is all practice for the girl i really like..(seeing all women as one big amorphous rubiks cube to be decoded for certain "benefits") Very messy. What i recommend. Its ok to have strong feelings for someone you dont know so well.. Just get used to approaching that person and being honest with them about your attraction and seeing them as person to get to know rather thsn perfect and infallible .. Anything else is stunting your emotional growth and holding you back from being with the right person.. If you do this teach the others.. Still waiting for my Good man..alot of us are 👍🏿
I thoroughly enjoyed your input and general insights during this video; you manage to put into words the many feelings I have when swiping through all these dating apps. I've tried explaining to my friends before that I seldom find people attractive, especially if their pictures consist only of "bland posing selfies". I find that the more ecstatic and lively, even "weird" their pictures are, the more likely I am to be interested. I know this is not rocket science per say, but what you said at the very end really resonated with me. I've gone on three physical dates in my 21 years of life, all of which were complete disasters. The only people I've connected with online romantically have been through phone calls or video chats, and what surprises me at times is when people reciprocate their desires by requesting that we have another phone call/video chat. I supose what I mean to say is just thank you for giving such logical and valuble tips.
Man, you give very valuable tips that I, as well as everyone else it seems, find very helpful. I didn't know a damn thing before I started watching last week, and it's all beginning to be very clear what I am doing wrong.
Beautiful video, thank you for the advice. The sad thing is I still can't clarify my emotions and the other person's intentions. I was in a law firm, where with colleague of mine (not at all the typical beauty standard) had a mental connection. At least I thought so. But it was that bipolar thing where the one moment I thought he was flirting with me, wanted to hangout...like he would invite me for a drink with his friends (something that had never done with the other colleagues) and the next moment he would be distant. We were every day together and when I left the firm about three months ago he didn't even call me to ask what happened, if I'm okay.... Nothing. Just typical and cold. Maybe I misunderstood his friendly vibes as flirt? And what are my true feelings are? I found a stupid work question to call him, he helped, but he was still distant and when I texted him something funny about his advice he left me on read. And what do I really want from him? Why do I not go on and get over it? I mean....he is not worth it.....idk please help
There are relatively new dating apps where they constantly use videochat and holding events like speed dating through video chat. And from what I recall, some require you to videochat in order to match with people. These are usually used for people interested in a relationship rather than just their physique. Its pretty cool.
wow I'm so glad you brought up the attraction vs neediness thing because I feel like it's something everyone understands deep down but doesn't want to admit, i definitely will be more thoughtful about my initial attraction to people in the future this was really eye opening
Does anyone remember that show, NEXT on MTV?! That shit was hilarious. People would come off the bus and wouldn't even make it towards the person before they yelled, NEXT! Please do a react to that show!
I needed to hear that about getting on the phone with someone. I'm so awkward and uncomfortable on the phone but I should face that fear because it definitely would help me form better connections and get over the initial awkwardness.
i love your content it impacts me more than most things on the internet so thank you for making it easy to understand and not making videos like alot of people who really dont actually know their stuff. It was a relief from all the conflicting videos. i never researched this before but what u say just feels right. thank you.
Thank you, I watched this when I really needed to hear it. Ever since highschool I've been noticing more girls attracted to me, but my relationships have felt so shallow for years. But you are completely right, I've been so concerned about looks that I try to decide who looks best next to me first, and then force the feelings in afterwards. Thank you so much for making me realize some my own flaws to try and better myself. Love the channel.
So, one thing I don't quite get: you say that if you're afraid to approach the person because of a perceived 'higher quality' in them or whatever, that = vanity and looking for validation, as opposed to genuine attraction. But here's the thing... I feel like a lot of people are critical and self-conscious (I'm one of them). I know all my flaws. I also know what a great guy I am, and that I'm worth it. But that doesn't mean other people will recognize that or care lol. So, when I meet a girl who is super hot, where I get that uh... 'burning passion'... just being near her, where every cell in my body screams that I want to hear her voice, kiss her, etc.... if she is really super hot, my 10/10, I tend to be nervous and cautious anyway. Not because I really care about being seen with her... in fact the opposite. I often worry that if I get together with someone I see that way, I won't be able to handle the stress of everyone looking at me and wondering why an average-looking dude like myself ended up with her. So actually it puts me off in a negative way. I DONT want to be validated lol. I'm more worried about the 'validation'. Plus then there's the "will she see me for who I am and care, or not?" anxiety. I've met numerous girls I've been super attracted to, and had that desire to be near them constantly. And I've seen plenty of Tinder models who my evolution wants their validation but I don't actually care about them. But I don't think I've ever just been totally relaxed and un-cautiously approaching even someone I have that real attraction to...
This is a very practical video. I'm looking at your videos with a lens more on towards general communication and relationships, so I'm not here to hook up or look to improve 'my game'. And so far, I like what I have had watched. Since this video is about a "real life dating app", what I have observed as someone who has went through dating sites and meeting new people in general is that the PERSONALITY breeds attraction more than the looks. Of course, it's a bonus if the person is pleasing to look at, but in most cases, it's the personality and how much we jive together that determines whether we'll go well or not. What dating apps and sites do is reverse the process: they accentuate the aesthetics first, which in fact should be just the bonus and not the main feature.
oh my god bestttt advice about needy versus attractive. I've thought i was "attracted" to really "hot" guys, but around them i felt literally frozen and like i couldn't be myself, and i would feel nauseous when thinking about them. i just wanted their approval, but really we had nothing in common.
How do you distinguish between generalized anxiety and that “neediness” as you put it? Because I think I have a more general issue where I automatically put myself below anyone - male or female - in every social situation, without even realizing I’m doing it.
Live your vids! You should totally react to smosh's video titled "why we're bad at dating apps". Its a good time and I feel like you could talk a lot about it. Now that that's done, have a good time. 😝
Fucking true...! I really appreciate your work. I think many women should listen you because today's man dating life can be so frustration with those all likes, followers, instagram i am really sick of it.
I'm one of those people who doesn't want to talk on the phone or video chat. Phone conversations and video chatting is honestly awkward for me even with friends. I so prefer getting to know someone in person (which is obviously an issue now...). One of my exes asked me if I wanted to talk on the phone. I of course said no and he assumed I wasn't interested, until I said that I'd rather just meet in person. We dated for almost a year and a half and are still friends. I do have a link to a video of me on my profile, so people can see me move and hear me talk before they even message me if they want.
So like for the neediness v. attraction thing... When I was in high school and middle school, all my crushes freaked me out and scared me to death. I really don’t think who I crushed on was influenced by society, and I’d feel that way about someone without even talking to them. It feels like I wanted to be validated by this person I saw as beautiful, but also something about them drew me to them. Where would this fall in the neediness vs. attraction spectrum?
I'm I've been binging you're videos since like May and you make me feel better to know that dating isn't just about looks. But in our society, people are supposed to believe that they are attracted to what society tells them is acceptable. I'm 17 and never had a boyfriend before. And I've always been scared, because I'm overweight. Like I feel like a lot of guys see me as disgusting or something. I like joke around, saying that I'm never gonna find someone.
great video anthony. yes, I've always felt that i can't be attracted to a picture. online dating is gross and exhausting. however in real life, i hardly ever meet someone im actually attracted to in the way you describe...its been probably 5 people or so in my entire life!! I wish it were easier to find those people.
I feel like you cant totally discredit whats pleasing to the eye, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some men that I find initially attractive without having met them others mind not find attractive at all so I don't necessarily feel physical attraction is always tied to needing to feel validated by the outside world. Having said that, a persons character can 100% supersede their outward appearance that can lead to either a positive or negative outcome, but I do think that finding someone to be beautiful is an aspect of attraction not necessarily pertaining to outward validation from others at all times. 🤷♀️
Sometimes when you are starting to know someone and you attracted to their personality, you will start to feel sexual and even physical attraction too...kind of like being attracted to their "sexy brain" haha
I already posted a comment but I was thinking about how you would do a new online dating, what if you did something like omegal but you set what you're looking for and those are the people you get onto video call with
I actually had a serious relationship with someone I met on Omegle! He lives in a different country but we would take it in turns to fly and visit one another. Even went on holiday to Spain together. (Cool experience, flew seperately from our own countries, and met up at the airport). It didn't last, but we're still friends.
dammyjodger1 wow that’s crazy. I’d be scared to start any serious relationship with someone I met on Omegle since it’s so anonymous especially not a romantic one
Never thought about how weird online dating can be 🤔. Oddly enough that’s how I met my current partner, we’ve been together for 5 years now. We connected so well on our first date and we’ve become best friends. Honestly I was attracted to him because he was smiling in all of his pictures 😄 PS. Guys please don’t forget to like the videos so the algorithm can pick him up 😊
I went on a first date with a few people who wanted to pick me up the traditional way and take me to our first date. Big mistake. The last times I did that, I had a weird gut feeling telling me not to yet I still did. Even though, luckily, nothing bad happened, always follow your gut. Dont have them pick you up and drive you on the first date. There are multiple reasons its better to drive yourself and to have a date in a public place with people around. Its safer and you have a way to get out. Plus, they dont know where you live. The date isnt always going to go how you would expect. You may end up feeling uncomfortable or iffy about the person and want to leave. Dont let them take that option from you. Also, unless the guy believes in sex after marriage, do NOT let him pay for you. They do this because its gentleman like and they have something to hold against you. They will make you feel like you owe them something that they want in return which is usually sex.
My friend: Check out this cute girl
Me: That is a person that I have decided is beautiful by society's standards and I would like them to validate me and have the world see that that person is with me and that raises my value in the world
My friend: Oh
Basically.
I feel like you are one of the last voices of sanity on the internet: human beings vs human objects. Thanks a lot for your work, it's changing my perspective on dating and I might give it a chance soon. Hugs! :D
Seriously! I appreciate Anthony's videos so much. They make me take a step back, evaluate the situation, and view people and situations with more empathy. It's so easy to get lost in the wave of social media, the online dating world, and so much more. His videos make me take a more in-depth look at myself and it reminds me that I need the right people in my life, not just anyone to fill a void.
Omg so true, few seconds of hearing someones voice can make or break my attraction to them!!
Rip my voice is aids lol. But I got an aussie accent so thank God
SlinKid 😂 SAME! I’ve actually tried getting some speech/voice training, but I never started because when I was there to hear more about it, they kind of explained it so badly it didnt even seem like they were gonna work on the voice. 😵
I always wondered why girls who initially liked me were turned off by me after I spoke
I ACTUALLY WOULD DO THE MOON
👀
Dude idk why anyone would ever take Europe over the fuckin moon.
@Zacky Boi We would all die in 5 minites if we went to the moon. Why do you think people who go to space need so much training?
There would have to be a training period but I think its worth it🤣
good choice
Honestly an absolute paradigm shift that that feeling of "That person's too attractive, I'm really scared" is not attraction. Like, we usually grew up with the feeling of being anxious and nervous around our "crushes" being normal. But to say now that those people aren't actually who you want to be with, the people you are most comfortable around are, is world changing advice. "I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member." - Groucho Marx - is usually how we insecure people view the world. So many people missing out on the best relationships of their lives because they think this way!
so tell me, basically when you see the attractive person and like them for their looks it's neediness and when you get to know them and hv chemistry, it's attraction?
Attraction and neediness - two different things and how to identify them. Now I can know what I’m feeling moving forward! This is gold! ✨ thanks for this!
good one
Please react to Dylan is in Trouble and his friend Misoa PLEASEEEE
yes please they have a adorable 'more than friends' vibe
YESSS
Great insight. You made me realize that I'm actually attracted to so few girls on tinder. This is also the case for many girls on the app who just want validation in the form of accumulating matches and Instagram followers, but then I'm no better myself. I message far less than half of my matches, and if I do, one of us always ends up ghosting eventually. We're all just in it for the dopamine rush.
I'm kind of confused. I don't do online dating but I've always been terrified to talk to anyone I find attractive because I have really bad social anxiety, and am scared to talk to anyone. Am I feeling neediness and that's why I am scared to talk to them? I know you don't necessarily know but I like being around them it just scares me because I don't want to mess it up and talking to people scares me in general so I am confused to wether I actually like them or not.
@@koral8639 Some amount of anxiety is normal any time you are talking to someone new. I would not say that anxiety necessarily indicates neediness, but there is a connection between the two. When you are needy, you put more weight on the potential success of the exchange because you "need" it to work out; this increases anxiety. In contrast, when you are not needy, you care less about the potential outcome and are more willing to just be ok with however it goes, whether it is the start to a great relationship or it clearly isn't a good fit. This is a far less anxiety-enducing context.
@@Rickyp0123 Thank you, that makes sense. I still enjoy and want to talk to them alot I've just always had really bad social anxiety and am honestly terrified to talk to anyone that I don't know super well. What you said makes sense so thanks
i agree, honesly, most guys didnt draw much attention to me, and it wasnt b they were ugly...there was just nothing there to captivate me besides 3 pictures and maaaybe a bio
makes sense with the neediness vs attraction comment. like in a movie when they have a crush on the attractive popular person despite not actually knowing them or them knowing you, but the one they end up with is their best friend.
It's really good that you've made a clear distinction between attraction and neediness
You know, my ex gf broke up with me a few days ago after 4+ years together, and I'm glad that Felix made that video reacting to you, 'cause otherwise I would have never found you.
Your content has definitely been helping me lately, so thank you.
For now, I don't feel ready to be in a new relationship, but when the day comes, I'll definitely listen to your advices.
20 vs 1 speed dating sofia would be interesting. I'm interested on what you have to say about standards in the dating world.
YES definitely agree
Can’t agree more
Dylan and Misoa please I know you did a poll on your story and Ethan and Emma won only because not a lot of people know about Dylan and Misoa so please do it
Dylan is awesomeeee
omgg yesss!
Didn't know how to describe what you did in the second half of the video. Thank you. Neediness vs real Attraction... such an important distinction.
You should react to Cut’s video series called The Button! It’s hilariously awkward
Most of all my matches end up with us ghosting each other. The only very few times it went any further was finding similar senses of humor and building on that. Showing your personality through your pictures is a good way to show a little bit of what you’re about
There is SO much to learn in a video. Its like a bomb of knowledge. Thank you. Its so weird that many of us have not already learned how to know how we feel, how to know what we are feeling. And you have taught me how to differentiate feelings, both from videos and your book. Thank you.
Lol I felt attacked when you said “I don’t like phone calls” or “ugh FaceTimes weird”
Cuz I have MAJOR anxiety when it comes to phone calling or video chatting, I really prefer texting or face to face that’s it lol
This channel is about to BLOW UP, i can feel it in my gut, also really good video, your channel is really well done.
oh man I feel it too, the advice on here is just golden nuggets of logical realness that can turn mental health and your entire inner circle of friends around just by knowing these simple facts of life
Dude I love listening to your voice it's so soothing😌 And you're interpretation of the video is spot👌
Dude there’s so many of these you gotta watch 😂 please watch the videos about men/women describing their relationships with 3 exes
Peak western civilisation
Hey everybody! Serial online dater here.
I find myself all the time getting attracted to "good-looking" guys and I found myself many times in the situation where I'm not letting them go even though I've started to feel there's not more between us than just the attraction to the looks and me hoping they like me so I could feel good about myself.
I love the advice and I'm ready to turn the wheel. Time to get rid off dating apps
Gurl same!! I’ve just unpacked that pattern and trying to let go of it! Thanks to Anthony I have the words to describe it now. ♥️
@@Jujuu257 You go girl! Lets get rid of our bad habits and start living the life we deserve
@@kristamariau it's too late to get rid of dating apps now , you've probably slept with too much good looking guys to be truly attracted to the average man now , it's over.
@@hunterthompson6737 I'm slowly learning that it's not only about the looks. I've met a guy in my hobby that I thought was very average looking guy in a beginning. But he's really confident and his personality is amazing. And he's not afraid to look me in the eyes and smile.
I think I'm crushing on him hard. The guy who I first thought was "average" looks so fucking handsome to me right now.
@@kristamariau so you're just gonna stop sleeping with good looking guys fom dating apps for an average guy ? I have a hard time believing that and if you two get in a couple i'm ready to bet it won't last long because of your body count. When you're gonna sleep with him you're gonna compare him to the good looking guys automaticaly.....
Oh my God the end talk about attraction and needyness is SO HELPFUL to me, I feel like I had to hear this today!! Thank you so much!
Your relationship advice seems to come right when I need it! I've been single for a long time and have been working on my battle scars from my past relationships and dating life. These videos help me so much! Thank you 🙂
Please react to He's Just Not That Into You!! I'd love to see that video!
Could you make a video for advice to people who are “nice guys” or aka “simps”? I feel like you would be the expert to give us advice.
“Nice guys” and simps are 2 whole different breeds
Nice guys and simps are two different concepts, but Anthony has a video on 'Nice Guys'. See the reaction video of Anthony on Fedmyster and Pokimane of OfflineTV. Good luck my friend :)
Having had "nice guys" as friends.. 2 miss steps i noticed.. (not being honest with themselves) They all already had a specific person they decided they would essentially marry.. Someone they knew but never approached the subject with. This messed up every other possible romantic situation as it shifted the focus from.. Do we like each other to.. This is all practice for the girl i really like..(seeing all women as one big amorphous rubiks cube to be decoded for certain "benefits") Very messy.
What i recommend.
Its ok to have strong feelings for someone you dont know so well.. Just get used to approaching that person and being honest with them about your attraction and seeing them as person to get to know rather thsn perfect and infallible .. Anything else is stunting your emotional growth and holding you back from being with the right person.. If you do this teach the others.. Still waiting for my Good man..alot of us are 👍🏿
I would love to see more Jubilee reactions :3
You should react to Dating Around on Netflix! It's about going on different first dates :)
I thoroughly enjoyed your input and general insights during this video; you manage to put into words the many feelings I have when swiping through all these dating apps. I've tried explaining to my friends before that I seldom find people attractive, especially if their pictures consist only of "bland posing selfies". I find that the more ecstatic and lively, even "weird" their pictures are, the more likely I am to be interested.
I know this is not rocket science per say, but what you said at the very end really resonated with me. I've gone on three physical dates in my 21 years of life, all of which were complete disasters. The only people I've connected with online romantically have been through phone calls or video chats, and what surprises me at times is when people reciprocate their desires by requesting that we have another phone call/video chat. I supose what I mean to say is just thank you for giving such logical and valuble tips.
I LOVE THIS. you should also react to the "bestie picks my partner"
Man, you give very valuable tips that I, as well as everyone else it seems, find very helpful. I didn't know a damn thing before I started watching last week, and it's all beginning to be very clear what I am doing wrong.
You deserve so much more attention. Love your content ❤️. You’re definitely one of the most precious channels on TH-cam.
Please react to Jubilee's Speed Dating 20 vs 1!
Beautiful video, thank you for the advice. The sad thing is I still can't clarify my emotions and the other person's intentions. I was in a law firm, where with colleague of mine (not at all the typical beauty standard) had a mental connection. At least I thought so. But it was that bipolar thing where the one moment I thought he was flirting with me, wanted to hangout...like he would invite me for a drink with his friends (something that had never done with the other colleagues) and the next moment he would be distant. We were every day together and when I left the firm about three months ago he didn't even call me to ask what happened, if I'm okay.... Nothing. Just typical and cold. Maybe I misunderstood his friendly vibes as flirt? And what are my true feelings are? I found a stupid work question to call him, he helped, but he was still distant and when I texted him something funny about his advice he left me on read. And what do I really want from him? Why do I not go on and get over it? I mean....he is not worth it.....idk please help
If nothing else, this channel has helped me focus on the importance and value of good chemistry
Omg anthony is so handsome 😍❣️❣️❣️
There are relatively new dating apps where they constantly use videochat and holding events like speed dating through video chat. And from what I recall, some require you to videochat in order to match with people. These are usually used for people interested in a relationship rather than just their physique. Its pretty cool.
wow I'm so glad you brought up the attraction vs neediness thing because I feel like it's something everyone understands deep down but doesn't want to admit, i definitely will be more thoughtful about my initial attraction to people in the future this was really eye opening
Does anyone remember that show, NEXT on MTV?! That shit was hilarious. People would come off the bus and wouldn't even make it towards the person before they yelled, NEXT! Please do a react to that show!
I needed to hear that about getting on the phone with someone. I'm so awkward and uncomfortable on the phone but I should face that fear because it definitely would help me form better connections and get over the initial awkwardness.
Plz react to married at first sight!!
10:50 gonna watch this portion of the vid over and over when i feel nervous cuz someone is attractive.
i love your content it impacts me more than most things on the internet so thank you for making it easy to understand and not making videos like alot of people who really dont actually know their stuff. It was a relief from all the conflicting videos. i never researched this before but what u say just feels right. thank you.
I feel so enlightened from watching his videos!! I agree with you
Zarah Shabs same
I love that you introduce yourself and say your purpose in every video!
Thank you, I watched this when I really needed to hear it. Ever since highschool I've been noticing more girls attracted to me, but my relationships have felt so shallow for years. But you are completely right, I've been so concerned about looks that I try to decide who looks best next to me first, and then force the feelings in afterwards. Thank you so much for making me realize some my own flaws to try and better myself. Love the channel.
I can't imagine how much pain you went trough seeing this lol
I absolutely love your content man, never change lol
React to the November Rain music video. It tells a story of a marriage and I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.
Sorry: please react to etc etc...
Omg anthony should do a sidemen tinder reaction and tell us how good their pick up lines are
So, one thing I don't quite get: you say that if you're afraid to approach the person because of a perceived 'higher quality' in them or whatever, that = vanity and looking for validation, as opposed to genuine attraction. But here's the thing... I feel like a lot of people are critical and self-conscious (I'm one of them). I know all my flaws. I also know what a great guy I am, and that I'm worth it. But that doesn't mean other people will recognize that or care lol. So, when I meet a girl who is super hot, where I get that uh... 'burning passion'... just being near her, where every cell in my body screams that I want to hear her voice, kiss her, etc.... if she is really super hot, my 10/10, I tend to be nervous and cautious anyway. Not because I really care about being seen with her... in fact the opposite. I often worry that if I get together with someone I see that way, I won't be able to handle the stress of everyone looking at me and wondering why an average-looking dude like myself ended up with her. So actually it puts me off in a negative way. I DONT want to be validated lol. I'm more worried about the 'validation'. Plus then there's the "will she see me for who I am and care, or not?" anxiety. I've met numerous girls I've been super attracted to, and had that desire to be near them constantly. And I've seen plenty of Tinder models who my evolution wants their validation but I don't actually care about them. But I don't think I've ever just been totally relaxed and un-cautiously approaching even someone I have that real attraction to...
Anthony you should really check out Normal People! It's such a great depiction of the complexities of modern relationships!!
This might be the best video about online dating, and attraction in general, that I have seen.
Thanks a lot man.
This is a very practical video. I'm looking at your videos with a lens more on towards general communication and relationships, so I'm not here to hook up or look to improve 'my game'. And so far, I like what I have had watched.
Since this video is about a "real life dating app", what I have observed as someone who has went through dating sites and meeting new people in general is that the PERSONALITY breeds attraction more than the looks. Of course, it's a bonus if the person is pleasing to look at, but in most cases, it's the personality and how much we jive together that determines whether we'll go well or not. What dating apps and sites do is reverse the process: they accentuate the aesthetics first, which in fact should be just the bonus and not the main feature.
What a great video! I love watching your content and it does help me understand my relationships. Keep the good work!
oh my god bestttt advice about needy versus attractive. I've thought i was "attracted" to really "hot" guys, but around them i felt literally frozen and like i couldn't be myself, and i would feel nauseous when thinking about them. i just wanted their approval, but really we had nothing in common.
How do you distinguish between generalized anxiety and that “neediness” as you put it? Because I think I have a more general issue where I automatically put myself below anyone - male or female - in every social situation, without even realizing I’m doing it.
Live your vids! You should totally react to smosh's video titled "why we're bad at dating apps". Its a good time and I feel like you could talk a lot about it. Now that that's done, have a good time. 😝
Love the phone/video chat idea 💖
I'm glad I found this channel. i like ur perspectives on dating.
Loved: "Subscreive"
At the end
16:30 YAAAAS! Call me tf out 😭😂
I love how they do the overhead shots. It's as if they know on some level how strange the whole arrangement is and want to express that somehow.
So you are the guy from that episode of black mirror.
I usually do the phone conversation and with prospects it goes well. We will talk for a hour or longer. But in person the chemistry just is not there.
would love to hear more on online dating and how it affects relationships.
The thing about attraction and neediness made so much sense cuz like he chose a girl he wasnt really sure if he was gonna swipe right on.
So, if someone *looks* attractive to me, it doesnt mean Im *attracted* to one
I rlly needed to hear this, as well all should. Thanks.
Yea I definitely need your help lol 👍👍👍
you just put in words everything I think about online dating
Please react to Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan from Outlander!
This is amazing, I'd love to see u to react to more jubilee videos cuz they got some really cool ones.
Nice video dude, you changed my vision on sexual attraction thank you!
Fucking true...! I really appreciate your work. I think many women should listen you because today's man dating life can be so frustration with those all likes, followers, instagram i am really sick of it.
TIL I’ve never been attracted to anyone in my entire life
I could listen to this guy all day...omg
I'm one of those people who doesn't want to talk on the phone or video chat. Phone conversations and video chatting is honestly awkward for me even with friends. I so prefer getting to know someone in person (which is obviously an issue now...). One of my exes asked me if I wanted to talk on the phone. I of course said no and he assumed I wasn't interested, until I said that I'd rather just meet in person. We dated for almost a year and a half and are still friends. I do have a link to a video of me on my profile, so people can see me move and hear me talk before they even message me if they want.
Pleaaaaase do tea for two season 2 episode 1. It's a very wholesome video
So like for the neediness v. attraction thing...
When I was in high school and middle school, all my crushes freaked me out and scared me to death. I really don’t think who I crushed on was influenced by society, and I’d feel that way about someone without even talking to them.
It feels like I wanted to be validated by this person I saw as beautiful, but also something about them drew me to them.
Where would this fall in the neediness vs. attraction spectrum?
I'm I've been binging you're videos since like May and you make me feel better to know that dating isn't just about looks. But in our society, people are supposed to believe that they are attracted to what society tells them is acceptable. I'm 17 and never had a boyfriend before. And I've always been scared, because I'm overweight. Like I feel like a lot of guys see me as disgusting or something. I like joke around, saying that I'm never gonna find someone.
The needy v attracted thing sounds like insecure v secure attachment.
You should totally react to “the button” it’s like speed dating and it’s so interesting to watch!
great video anthony. yes, I've always felt that i can't be attracted to a picture. online dating is gross and exhausting. however in real life, i hardly ever meet someone im actually attracted to in the way you describe...its been probably 5 people or so in my entire life!! I wish it were easier to find those people.
Well said!
I feel like you cant totally discredit whats pleasing to the eye, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some men that I find initially attractive without having met them others mind not find attractive at all so I don't necessarily feel physical attraction is always tied to needing to feel validated by the outside world.
Having said that, a persons character can 100% supersede their outward appearance that can lead to either a positive or negative outcome, but I do think that finding someone to be beautiful is an aspect of attraction not necessarily pertaining to outward validation from others at all times. 🤷♀️
Sometimes when you are starting to know someone and you attracted to their personality, you will start to feel sexual and even physical attraction too...kind of like being attracted to their "sexy brain" haha
@@0912sooli I totally agree, I was just trying to say that physical appearance alone can be an aspect of attraction.
So true there’s been tons of people that once you get to know them They actually start to physically become more attractive
Wow this is such great advice
Please react to Mizkif and Maya Higa
Make a video on the charm of Damon Salvatore on the show The Vampire Diaries.
Probably would have been good to talk about the situation they were in or internet dating
Omg i think this video helped me alot to understand what and how i am attracted to people
I already posted a comment but I was thinking about how you would do a new online dating, what if you did something like omegal but you set what you're looking for and those are the people you get onto video call with
I actually had a serious relationship with someone I met on Omegle! He lives in a different country but we would take it in turns to fly and visit one another. Even went on holiday to Spain together. (Cool experience, flew seperately from our own countries, and met up at the airport). It didn't last, but we're still friends.
dammyjodger1 wow that’s crazy. I’d be scared to start any serious relationship with someone I met on Omegle since it’s so anonymous especially not a romantic one
dammyjodger1 but I guess you’re a guy? So it makes more sense
Do another jubilee vid🤲🏾
react to camila cabello and lauren jauregui
remember me when you're famous
They missed the profile bio part of internet dating
This would freaking *DECIMATE* me.
Never thought about how weird online dating can be 🤔. Oddly enough that’s how I met my current partner, we’ve been together for 5 years now. We connected so well on our first date and we’ve become best friends. Honestly I was attracted to him because he was smiling in all of his pictures 😄 PS. Guys please don’t forget to like the videos so the algorithm can pick him up 😊
I actually have an inner conflict for some time about one person and I wondered is it the neediness or is it attraction.
I guess its the first one
you should react to the sidemen tinders lmao
You should do Scotty Sire and Jac Anderson!!
I went on a first date with a few people who wanted to pick me up the traditional way and take me to our first date. Big mistake. The last times I did that, I had a weird gut feeling telling me not to yet I still did. Even though, luckily, nothing bad happened, always follow your gut. Dont have them pick you up and drive you on the first date. There are multiple reasons its better to drive yourself and to have a date in a public place with people around. Its safer and you have a way to get out. Plus, they dont know where you live. The date isnt always going to go how you would expect. You may end up feeling uncomfortable or iffy about the person and want to leave. Dont let them take that option from you. Also, unless the guy believes in sex after marriage, do NOT let him pay for you. They do this because its gentleman like and they have something to hold against you. They will make you feel like you owe them something that they want in return which is usually sex.