The 5 real reasons why guys are lonely today
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
- My take on the male loneliness epidemic is VERY different. I think we all have a responsibility to address this very real issue, including women. Let me know if you agree or disagree!
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My loneliness is tempered by my comfort in knowing that I will NEVER face a Divorce, Family Courts, and/or Child Support.
You lucked out brother. Wish I had better foresight
It’s not even loneliness if you have friends to hangout with or something, being outgoing is the key
But you could be missing out on something really good.
@@jeanr8359why do you say that? Not everybody has to be in a relationship
Amen
Starting when I was around 12, my mom began teaching me how to take care of myself. She taught me to cook, clean, laundry, set the table, and just about everything else. She’s 82 now and has admitted that she needed the help back then, but she also saw the writing on the wall. She watched the beginnings of feminism and somehow knew what it would do relationships. I remain forever grateful to her.
🙏 Amen. Take care of your mother bro
Same here. I was even younger, when my mama started with me (about 7 or 8). Of course, I am divorced now. My son is 5, and I have already begun the routine for him.
Love hearing that your mom taught you these skills. I believe every year on kids' birthdays, kids should have to learn a new skill as part of their growing up. birthday
It's good for everyone to know how to do those things, should they ever wind up by themselves.
@@THEMAX00000👍🏅
It's exhausting avoiding toxic women.
But oh, so rewarding
I'm alone, I'm not lonely! Not dealing with a woman that can't control her thoughts, mouth, or actions, is a blessing! No drama, no double standards .
Well said, also I have more money than I ever had with a woman in my life. MGTOW!
yap alone and lonely can mean 2 things
Amen
No double standards is a big issue for me. Relationships are all about women exploiting immutable biological characteristics to behave in a way that would not be acceptable if some random microscopic events had gone slightly differently when they were conceived. I often try to analyse how women behave and think if that would be acceptable behaviour for a man. Just recently me and my mum were watching Fast and Furious. One of the girls in the movie said something like whoever wins the race can have me. My mum was asking me what the girl brings to the table. Sure she was attractive physically, but what would she actually contribute to the life of the winner? The point is that just showing up was a prize, because of her gender. If a somewhat short 20 yo virgin guy was at a baking competition and he said whichever of the girls wins can have him, then I think that would just be awkward and not convince anybody. I believe I can maintain much higher moral standards as a MGTOW. The reason is probably that other men prepared to lower their standards can sleep with a girl more easily. But I would rather stay on Virgin Media than accept double standards.
This is 100% the wrong take on the issue.
Girl I dated dumped me 2 days after I told her I had anxiety. "Youre a great guy I'm sorry". Women say they dont want men to supress emotions and to open up. But I'm going to avoid that topic next time.
You should open up about those things. Just not to a female romantic partner...
Women say they want a certain thing, then all of a sudden, they don't want it when they get it.
Their too f**ked up to know what they want, or what their doing.
A mistake was definitely made when the female brain was created!!
I opened up about my anxiety. We talked it through and she advised me to go see a psychologist. It worked out. (I'm fine now ~ well, better than used to be :D)
You should open up about those things. if those girls dumped you, then that's on them, not you. Not everyone will mesh well, and if they can't deal with someone else having issues then that's on them.
Keep trying and don't give up hope!
all women saying men should be open with emotions but as soon you show emotions they run away. its the typical doublestandard from these women. there are women you can be open, but they are rare. i only know 1 woman in my entire life i can be open. its a good friend i knew from studying. she has a wonderful husband and kids. but i dont, my wife just left me for having emotions.... so pathetic
I've never had a woman take accountability or reflect on her own behavior honestly. It's always deflection and blaming no matter the topic. Never experienced one admit they're wrong and usually have them telling me how to do absolutely everything and keeping score.
Whoa, you've really met the wrong women, haven't you? That's bad. Just don't believe all of them are like that.
@@jericoba it does not matter what all are like. It only takes a handful of evil to make a man avoid women forever.
@@Xander1Sheridan Whoa. I feel sorry for you. Perhaps one day you can see it differently. If not, take care.
@@jericoba I too have much the same experience. Just spent time with one who went near max. on poor behavior. She knew I was letting it go and it hurt. If she doesn't have morals that stop her, vs me calling her out, I am not going to do it with her. I am not here to structure and inform her regarding her treatment of others. She know everything regarding how to treat people and not treat people well. Her choices are not my responsibility to correct.
It is my responsibility to move away ;is my perspective.
@jericoba what the percentage of good ones out there? what are his odds of finding a good one vs getting crushed again?
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 5-year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart , leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without her. Despite attempts to purge her from my mind, I remain haunted by her absence , feeling compelled to express my longing here .
Releasing your grip on someone you deeply care about can be a formidable challenge. I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 12-year relationship came to an end. Despite the odds, I couldn't bear to let her slip away. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with her, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention ultimately facilitated her return.
Incredible! Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
A man doesn't cry because he is weak, he cries because he's been strong for too long.
I agree and I am in that situation.....I cry a lot lately as I have been doing my best to be too strong for too long!
But she'll still say you're weak. Do your crying alone. DON'T EVER let a woman see you cry.
Profound statement (from a woman)
Good luck convincing people of that when you cry in front of them
x 1000 brother!
The fastest way to drive a woman away is to open up to her emotionally. You might as well put on a dress and makeup, and tell her you prefer men. You're allowed five minutes of emotion when your mother passes. That's it.
But since I'm the boss and not her, it's her problem and not mine.
Honestly, why worry about some sidewalk gig like that?
Ayup. My mother found me crying because I was bullied at school.
Her reaction= Stop blubbering and get to bed.
Wow. So much for maternal instincts
5 mins ?
I think my mother would look on me with disdain if I even show 1 min of emotion. Lol
Never cry in front of a woman.
You'll be lucky if she gives you 5 while minutes.
There is a difference in being alone and lonely. I’m alone all of the time, I’m not lonely. The most lonely I have ever felt was when I was married. Being single allows me to socialize on my own terms, so I’m not lonely. It’s about perspective and boundaries.
I am a woman and concur 100%...
I feel lonely when I'm in big groups. I love being alone.
Ditto that. I live on my own but I'm never lonely.
Absolutely!!
Same, never lonely, I am not a fan of people anyway and prefer to keep my distance from them.
I have lived alone for 10 years since leaving a 25-year marriage. Currently on my sailboat in the Caribbean. I have learned how to be alone without feeling lonely. I can socialize as much as I want with other sailors, when I want. Otherwise I am more content than I ever was in my marriage. There are few things worse than sleeping next to an angry woman. I will never remarry.
I came out the other end of a 35 year marriage feeling better and more comfortable than I ever was when I was married. I never left because I thought I would be lonely. I’m not lonely I’m happy the only problems or issues I have to solve are my own and since I don’t go looking for them they’re far and few between. My only regret is I didn’t get out sooner even our 2 sons say I made the right choice.
"There are few things worse than sleeping next to an angry woman." Thank you! I couldn't sleep with a woman who bitched at me for a couple hrs, took a 1/2 hour off and then wanted to make love. #Nowayray.
the beauty of sailing is you see the good side of people and don't have time to see the bad side! here today gone tomorrow!
Solitude is what you're describing.
Never married, but since I split up with my girlfriend, life became 99,7% easier and I also felt more lonely with her than afterwards. It was my only relationship I ever had and I'm not interested to have another one. However it brought forth a child and I forced shared parenting through, I still have a girl in my life but no relationship. I'm not that alone.
As a man, I think it's a good idea to open up emotionally to your girlfriend at an early stage. If she decides she's no longer attracted to you, or if she tries to use it to hurt you in an argument, then you can jettison her before you waste too much time.
I agree with this sentiment.
Definitely; I have learned this from my life - better to be alone by yourself, than to be alone in a single sided relationship!
One of the best days of my life was when I realized and truly accepted that no one cares and no one is coming to fix, save, or rescue me. Happiness is an inside job. I'm grateful to God for revealing that truth to me.
Oh damn she speaks right out of my heart.
I've been in a 5 and a half year relationship with my (ex-) fiancé, opened up step by step. Most major mistake I've made was crying in front of her when we had such a big fight and she said she will leave me, kill herself etc. I couldn't handle the stress, Long story short she slept with a guy from her workplace several month behind my back and then was gaslightning me, that it was all my fault...
That's when I began to be afraid of opening up ever again. I'm so far, that I don't even dare to tell a woman if I like her... Tbh I feel miserable about that, but I can't help it.
I rather be alone, than make make myself vulnerable again and going through this kind of hell a second time.
All guys out there I wish you the best may you find peace, with or without a partner.
All the best to you mate.
Looks like you could use some Narc abuse recovery.
You've dodged a bullet right there. And if the guy from her workplace has any brains he'll drop her fast too.
@@andreaswiese8982 ditto
Walk it off, dude. Buddha said there is no trouble from which you can not walk away. Bible says it is better to kive alone in the desert than be with a troublesome woman.
Showing emotion as a man is a ticket to the friend zone.
Maybe for the women you meet
-Showing emotion- Doing *ANYTHING* as a man in this day and age is a ticket to the friend zone.
Showing emotions will lower her opinion of you and/or be weaponized against you. DON'T DO IT!
I am so sorry that you are meeting such crummy women! I think my women friends and I must be weirdos; we aren't turned off by a guy having a gentle or vulnerable side. That's a big plus!
Honestly, the number one thing that makes me turn away from a relationship, is anger. When I look back on my dating days, that was usually the love-killer, and trust-killer. Even if it wasn't aimed at me. I think it's is a big problem for a lot of women, but the sad thing is, it also scares us into silence so we can't tell the men in our lives what the problem actually is. I think a lot of decent men experience anger and express it, without realizing how much it can frighten us and drive us away. Now, anger is normal, and doesn't need to be bottled up, but partners should talk about differences here. I want to put this issue out there, where maybe a few men will see and consider if it's been a factor in their dating lives.
I was once talking to an appealing intelligent man on a dating site, who had a lot going for him, seemed very kindhearted ... but he started to reveal that he had all this anger and long-held grudges, about various things in his life. He was so angry about problems with relatives, and missed opportunities on his life path. He had so much anger and self-pity about women who hadn't dated him long, especially a woman who ghosted him. He hated ghosting (who doesn't?) and insisted that "she should have had the decency to tell [him] to his face why [he] was so terrible." He'd already mentioned that the woman was abused before, so I suggested that maybe she just got scared, and it was nothing against him personally, but perhaps she couldn't face him due to fears from the past. I was trying to help him feel better about her disappearance, consider a different interpretation, give a little grace to that lady and by extension to himself. But then he snapped at *me*, started yelling that I shouldn't tell him what to think or feel. I certainly wasn't trying to mandate how he felt, just offer alternative explanations that might bring him some relief. Obviously that wasn't the right approach, but it was equally obvious by that point that our temperaments just didn't match.
So - I didn't ghost him. I tried to be brave and honest, which I hoped he would respect. I told him directly that his anger was a problem for me, and was the reason I would not be dating him. I also said he had plenty going for him, and I had been genuinely interested, and I hoped he could let go of all that bitterness to make room for a happy future. I do hope he is happy today.
I vehemently disagree. Yes, if you show emotion very early in a relationship then yeah. But after a while when you’re both in love and in a long-term relationship, she’s not going to friend zone you. And also, if you’ve been seeing some girl for a month and she starts having meltdowns and open jealousy, you’ll either friend zone her or ghost her
My distrust of women and hypersensitivity to manipulation has reached the level of paranoia.
First of all we should not conflate the state of being alone with loneliness, because these days it is unfortunately far more likely to be lonely when in a relationship.
Amen
Been there, done that, they don't give out t-shirts.
I agree. A man can be surrounded by friends and family and be very lonely.
Not remotely. You might be in a crappy relationship, you might be forlorn, stressed out, feel completely unloved and unappreciated, unsure of what to do, but if you co-habitat with a woman, you won't be lonely. More likely longing for alone time away from her.
Bingo.
“Healthy vulnerability” is an oxymoron as far as men are concerned. Best to keep your feelings to yourself. Nobody cares except to leverage them against you.
Your feelings can be weaponised, usually by the one you share them with
Remain Stoic brothers
When it comes to women just remember..Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion!
What women say they want and what they really want are 2 separate things. Humans as a species have a tendency to project on to others. So a woman who wants a man to be vulnerable basically says she isn't.
Dax - To Be A Man. Song sums it up perfectly.
If you don't open up, you'll lose connection. Just don't be a whiny baby about it.
I stopped dating about 6 years ago. This is the longest period I have gone in my life without being wrong in something I said, did, didn’t say or didn’t do, wrong for what I felt, wrong for wanting intimacy. Wrong for being a male, Wrong for working too hard, wrong for not working hard enough.
After 6 years of not having a person I cherish remind me how wrong I am for being me, I am beginning to like not feeling perpetually inadequate.
I find I am no longer willing to be considered the cause of pain or anger or suffering in a person I cherish. So, as much as I have always loved and valued the woman in my life, I shan’t inflict myself upon them any further. I miss them… but I console myself with the knowledge that at least none of them are having to suffer the love, devotion, or support I offered, but which they could not find it in them to appreciate.
Married 23 years and very lonely. Basically CHOOSING the lonely road.
Wife won't look into herself and see what she is doing to me. No accountability, just want want want from me but never giving. Can't stand the drama and the arguments.
It use to be that women would complement men and be their companion. Now it's competition agains us.
Take steps before she does brother
I’ve personally experienced that displaying emotion in front of a woman completely changes how she views me. Even my own sister. I will never do this again. The only thing it taught me was that I’m truly on my own in this world.
Well, it's actually worse than that. Some people are actively hunting you
Nah, not all of them are like that, believe me. The shit is that nowadays too many of them are insanely egoist and unable to support their partner.
Spot on !
Glad to see you understood the reality! However long it took, at least you now have a much better understanding of the situation. Never try to open up to a girl if you want to sleep with her, or else you can open up to her but accept that she will marry someone else or stay single.
Learn to not give a fuck.... once you do that, you become strong as shit even if you are emotional on occasion. Hey someone like a friend died, lost a close family member, a pet got run over are examples.... Not a blubbering fool, but on the rare occasion. If a woman looks at you in disrespect because you have emotions... feel badly for them, and strong for you. You don't have to say shit to them, and better you don't, look at them with a blank look and just walk away with your head held high, and MOSTLY ignore their judgmental baloney. That judgement crap, is just showing who they are.... not who you are. Vulnerability is a great strength mixed with.... don't give a shit attitude, if you like me or not.
Here is my top 5 reasons why men today are lonely.
1. Men today are afraid to approach women these days. We see other men labeled creeps or worse because of an unwanted approach. Especially in places like the workplace due to possible punishment.
2. the first point pushes more men to search on apps for love. These apps & the attitude of thier users are arguably the most damaging of my 5 points. Women notoriously over value themselves on these apps and only swipe right on the top 15 percent of men, leaving a MASSIVE amount of men feeling unseen, unwanted and alone. This leads to women having a flood of men of her choice in her inbox within a few hours of creating the account while men can hardly get a reply. Of course he cant get a reply... she has 8 other men in her dms, and ahen that happens ANY flaw you have becomes huge. You dont drive? well these 6 guys do. You have a bad childhood? well these 5 guys dont. You have an okay job? well these 4 guys have better jobs. Its like shopping for women. Its like begging for scraps for men.
3. Men do not have a social structure of support like women are born with. Both from outside groups and within the male comunity, nobody cares how our day was. We deal with stuff alone because we have to. Nobodys cheering me on, or calling me brave because Ive stuggled and survived. or comlimenting me in any shape or form. If a woman was crying on the sidewalk, everyone in a 30 mile radius would ask of shes okay. If a man was crying on the sidewalk people would cross the street and somebody would call the cops. and any time a man points out the lack of support, hes met with somebody screaming about the patriarchy and how that somehow means my struggles arent real and Im actually the one with the advantage... Im not some rich male buisness tycoon, Im a minimum wage employee with absolutly no advantages. that brings me to my next point...
4. So many women are so unwilling to even listen to the struggle men face and will immediatly attack a man for voicing them. how dare we have feelings and issues we cant solve alone am I right? "JuSt OpEn Up MoRe"
5. More and more men, every day dont have a single close friend (myself included) and nothing is harder than a man trying to make friends when he doesnt have any. Nobody wants to be your friend when your the weird guy by himself. So many girls just tell me to go out by myself to the bar or a restaurant and meet people like that but they are only seeing it from their own eyes. For a woman, sitting alone, making a new friend must be so easy. You have to beat off men with a stick, and girl groups "adopt" lonely girls fast.... that doesnt exists for men. We just sit there alone like donald glover at the end of the "sober" music video. And when it comes to possible future dates the thought is terrifying.... what if she asks me what I do with my friends?? Do I lie? or do I tell her I have no friends and wave that red flag? You cant win. Having no friends has a HUGE trickle down effect that nobody talks about.
Those are my top 5. Love the content Emily, but I gotta say your 5 points in this one feel like they are for men who are lonely but still have people in their lives and the loneliness epidemic is more about men who have nobody. No friends, No love interests, No social support. Hope you get to read this and feel free to use any of those points in a future video
Minimum wage is not supposed to be a career. Develop skills that are valuable to an employer. You will get paid more. If current employer does not value you, find one that does.
You would make friends by going out and doing something. I made friends by simply going to my local rec center and taking classes, I joined a sewing group, and I volunteered at my church. People are out there to meet and make friends with.
@@allanfarr easier said than done, but also not relevant to the talking point 😅
@@candycottrell6469 I live in the middle of nowhere and dont drive, so its not an option
#5 hit hard, thanks man
I am married, and I have never felt more alone. I’m just a retirement plan for the person who is supposed to love me. Divorce has never sounded so good. 😔
If it helps pal, you are not alone in that.
If that's how you feel then you should do it.
I hear you, I am in the same boat. Good luck with everything
As a formerly miserable married guy. It is absolutely worth getting divorced. I have two little kids with my ex.
When she left me and tried to take them so I would never see them again i nearly broke apart with grief. I lost 20lbs in two weeks from stress.
They were just babies at the time. It took almost 5 years to get divorced from her, and many times I thought i would succumb to stress and sadness.
But 2 years divorced, and with a 7 and 8yo i cant imagine doing it any other way. I am vastly more happy with my life now than i was being abused by her psychological manipulation and breakdowns and gaslighting.
And my kids are getting to see a much healthier father in their lives which is good for everyone. It will be hard, but have strength and you will prevail.
It’s always better on the other side of it. You just gotta get there.
@@Hellgrinde That took courage, and I generally find real courage tends to be rewarded. Glad you had the stones to do it.
If paternity fraud was punishable by jail time....
If adultery was punished by nullifying marriage...
If a provably false allegation resulted in jail time...
If women had to volunteer for selective service...
If women arent held accountable for bad behavior, this trend will result in catastrophe.
The fact that lesbians have by far the highest rate of divorce tells you what you need to know about how realistic many women are when it comes to expectations of their partners and how approximately half the time when women want to get divorced its because they're crazy/delusional about this and not because its something their partner is actually doing wrong.
There's a factoid worth remembering and share widely..."Lesbian's have by far the highest divorce rates". No man would ever doubt it. Cigar for you McBlammy
This is indeed a statical fact. Thanks for sharing.
it's said 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and I believe it.
Men are supposedly the ones who can't deal with commitment or talk things out and women are all about commitment and talking things out. Yet women initiate 80% of divorces.
I learn something new every day
My mouth fell open when she said women think men have to be more emotionally available.
When in reality, the opposite is true.
Being emotionally available is absolutely the quickest way to ending up completely alone and whatever women rejected you after you shared won't ever see you the same afterwards or ever see you as a sexual partner period. Some of what she has said in other videos was just pointing out things most men either knew or had thought about already.
She will lose respect for you immediately.
She’s got no idea
It's COMPLETELY a double standard.
What they're really saying is that they want men to be more emotionally receptive to their needs. But God forbid the "man" should ever open up and be vulnerable himself.
3 rings in Marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring, and the Suffering.
Suffe'ring'😂😂 that is a good one!
I have been married for 14 years and, with exception of parenting my sons, I have been lonely married to a self indulging and emotionally vacant wife.
She's probably cheating on your and telling herself it's your fault.
Emily, you are right about everything but one thing. The vast majority of women says that they want 1 thing but they actually think another and want neither. Even worse, accountability is their kryptonite. Never apologize, never admit a wrong, always deflect.
You are speaking in absolutes brother.
Spot on
Both genders can do the same thing. I think it's wrong to just say that "all women are x way"...the same as it's wrong to say the same thing about all men.
@@PaulLefebvre ok but in which gender is this overwhelmingly common and in which gender is it extremely rare if not almost unheard of?
generalizations are only unhelpful when they're disingenuous.
@@user-tg7pi6lu6v That's an excellent question. And I can't answer it. It does raise my curiosity though, whether any studies have examined gender ratios for such behaviour.
What I *can* tell you is that generally when scientists measure behaviours differences across groups, they ALSO regularly say that differences between groups do NOT predict behaviour in individuals.
The attitudes of women have changed over the past 50 years. It is reflected in movies, novels, TV, etc. This aggressive/masculine/entitled attitude is being taught and reinforced in our educational institutions. Some men try to adapt and cope. Others turn their backs and develop other pursuits. The divorce rates and children with single parents tell us it doesn't work well. These women don't know what they are missing.
Westernized women.
Well said, totally right.
@@majesticmsfcno. Masculine= bad? Masculine =entitled?
When people keep repeating like sheep what they hear you end with feminism still brainwashing their crap in you. Yes some behavior are masculine but when you associate the two you end up give the idea, all is simple men s fault.
these xx.s won’t be missed. with any singularity to occur to them, no loss were registered incurring.
word salad @@VaronPlateando
I am alone. I am not lonely. I am at a place in life where my peace of mind is the most valuable thing to me.
My financial stability has never been better, I just paid off a three year old truck, and just finished converting my spare
bedroom into a home gym. I go shooting when I want to, buy whatever toys I want and stay on my own schedule.
I won't sacrifice my happiness for a woman ever again.
Rock ‘n’ roll man you do you don’t ever fall for these fucking games again, because neither will i
Sounds great 😊👍.
Good for you. Way to go!👍
Thanks for caring enough to think and talk about this. It's everyone's problem, not one gender. The world is changing so fast... As a man I feel I have to choose to be alone to protect myself, but I wish it were different. I am fine alone, but I know what I am missing out on. I hope someday it all gets better for younger people. Having this conversation is super important. ✌
My wife of 39 years died in 2014. Since then i've lived alone. It's important to realise that "living alone" is not the same as "Living with loneliness". I like my own company. I get bored at times but not often. I like the peace and quiet. I like doing what i feel like doing any time of the day. I like not having anyone saying "You shouldn't eat that - you should have salad instead" I can't imagine having another woman in the house, and the whole notion of learning to date is an area i dont want to have anything to do with. It's been 53 years since i went on a date and i wouldn't even know what to do any more. And all the women on youtube and elsewhere telling us how to behoave on a date or how to live with a 2020s woman just make me think, "No its all too hard and i"m not all that interested in having another woman in the house anyway"
I love the freedom of being single and I've been single for decades.
I'm sorry for your loss, my friend.
I am also sorry for your loss. I don't think you would be interested in dating women now-a-days anyway. Many modern women have bought into this femenist crap where they see you more as a competetor than a partner. These femenist women try to assert their "equality" with men by trying to act like men, and that ususlly doesn't work. That failure causes them to become frustrated and their femenist friends counsel them to divorce their husbands for someone better, richer, more handsome, etc, (read hypergamy), After doing the singles bar scene for awhile, and racking up the body count, they realize their error, but by then it is too late, and any prospects for marraige quickly evaporate and they join the ranks of women complaining that there are no good men out there.
Salad is what my food eats. 😝
As a man outside of my mom, I’ll never be unconditionally loved. I’ll only be loved on the basis that I can provide. And that alone makes me believe my decision to stay single is the right call. And just knowing the moment I’m not able to provide makes my value as a man plummet, I’d rather worry about myself. At the end of the day the only person I can count on is myself.
Absolutely correct. It was terrible to learn that after 32 years of marriage that I was only chosen to provide for her.
Absolutely right. Most women only love a man based on what he provides for her. In other words, shd is using and manipulating the guy. A very dark, twisted mindset
What about the kids? They would love you
@@lednevnik One of my 2 kids won't speak to me.
@@jimstand damn that's sad
There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
A libary and a garden is all you need, work on yourself and stay healty and if you really need a friend, get yourself a dog.
Never chase a woman.
I’m tired of providing and being strong. I just want peace, especially from my own head.
Being alone is not the same as being lonely. You might spend time being lonely but eventually you get used to it and becomes being alone and its addictive. I can't believe the drama I used to tolerate as normal.
Great video.
exactly. at first i was afraid of getting into trouble in isolation. but as i geared down and started to make allowances for age frailty. things started making sense. i also have visions of me dying alone in my bed. hm. but that is a bogus fear. when you die, you die. actually i have been dead before; near death experience. what counts is if you can enjoy your life as much as possible. when i get an ache or pain or chronic problem, i actually find it comical. not at all what i expected. letting go is a total foil to drama. currently with the struggle people have just to make a living; a partner tends to demand too much; both directions. relying on a partner is not a good basis for a relationship. so learning to do for yourself should be a pre requisite for living together. i hope!
I never felt as lonely as I did during the last couple of years of my marriage. Once we divorced and I was on my own again that loneliness faded away
There have been times when I have felt lonesome - a transient feeling - but I haven't been lonely for years.
There's still a loneliness epidemic. U don't need to hide it
Ive been alone for a decade+ but ive never felt lonely. Quite the opposite in fact. I have a great sense of freedom and inner peace. I can go days, if not weeks without uttering a single word, and the thought of changing that honestly sends chills down my spine. Im quite content sitting on the sidelines of life and watching the world pass by.
I have been single for over 20 years since my last divorce, I am far from lonely. I choose to be single because I don't want to be with a "modern" woman. What exactly does a "modern" woman bring to the table except headache, heart ache and legal problems?
I saw a video of yours where a young lady was appalled that a young man she was dating had never been told he worth being loved after 18 years of never hearing that.
The 1 and only time that happened to me was when I was 49 years old from a former girlfriend who felt horrible about how she destroyed me as a young man.
Never before that and never since.
It’s almost a slap in the face at this point.
I've read that what men want most is simply to be appreciated for what they do.
Yet in my long term relationship while I typically compliment milady multiple times every day, a compliment from her is more like one per month - if I'm lucky. Lucky I'm self-confident because I sure don't get it from her.
My grandparents were together for fifty seven years in a stable, Christian marriage. That’s what I want, I’m not wavering because of contemporary tastes and neither should anybody else who wants the same thing.
Don’t compromise your morals and values, no matter how lonely and tough it gets some days, stay firm and true to yourself, everyone.
Hope you find that. I feel the same way as you.
I hope you find that.Thats what I'm looking for too👍💯💪
From a right-leaning, married, Christian woman third wave feminism is the worst thing to happen to the world. Women today disgust me.
Get your passport pal, and do not, do not, bring her back to the west. Good luck.
So you’re hunting unicorns in America, good luck!
Another reason contributing to mens loneliness is the fact that there is a growing trend among younger girls where they say: "I only date guys 6 foot tall and up"
I'm way over 6' an I can tell you, this is not some kind of easy answer. Women just keep moving down the line of their ick algorithm until they hit on something they don't like. It is an answer looking for a problem.
@@jcj6892 Ok but tall guys are almost always never single unless there fat or broke or ugly or small penis
This is true of women in their prime(ish), however they start to lower that as the wall approaches. Also, height isn't enough by itself, there is always a level of "edge" and looks that he must have. Put those together and the average good guy can kiss goodbye the hope of finding a younger virgin wife.
Nobody wants to admit it but it's true.
Especially thanks to filtered searching on apps which completely renders you invisible.
@@jcj6892 especially women ***
Loneliness is an emotion. Alone is a state of being. Huge difference. When the emotion is felt, honor it, and let it leave. Stay focused on your purpose. Attract, don't chase.
Attract means that you have to prove yourself first in order to get a female to even have time for you.I don't want a woman who only want me for what i can do or what i have or what i can offer her,she has to love me for who i am.
As a 60yr man in the UK I find your videos inspiring, and insightful, thank you. I think you should have your own TV show. Great work, keep 'em coming and stay lucky.
I've been watching your videos for quite a while, Emily. I really enjoy them. As a single woman, I see these videos as learning tools for preparing me of what to do and what NOT to do in a relationship with a guy - especially in today's dating world.
Please, keep them up!
Here's my number one tip: keep your eyes open and be friendly/sweet
You will attract a very kind man if you do that.
I'd tell every woman I could if I could.
I appreciate your tip. And, I'll take note of your tip.
I don't know you, personally, but I think you can do that - give this kind of advice or tips to every other woman, as well.
@@SartorialisticSavage65
Indeed she is helpful to talk about that
you need to find a reliable hard working god fearing, not religious, man, with morals, old morals..regardless of income. life does not revolve around income, its family,. teaching, education,of reality, not bs.. ausie.. been there done that, 20 yrs lost of life with bs women gold diggers.. but, its there lose,,not mine.. im happy,,there not..
I would keep an open mind when you are "learning" here, because she mentioned toxic musculinity, something which never actually existed.
If anything there's been a large presence of female toxicity, like shaming men for being emotional or perceived as being weak or not "manly enough"
Many of us dont feel like we measure up and so we have just decided to not even try.
The west has unabashedly embraced gynocentrism and it is aggressively tearing the very fabric of society and families apart.
emily is doing this for your veiws which = her money she dont care she is part of the problem making money off sad people your terrible emily the worst of them all at least the women who do suck tell you not lie to you then use you that hurts way more emily and you know that...........
The problem is a lot/most modern western men do measure up. It is just women judge men on the wrong things eg: Height - Men have no control of it,and it tells you nothing about a man. While ignoring the things that should matter eg: Treat people well, just because it is the right thing to do.
@@wayneturner8575Women are attracted to what they're attracted to. Are males going to date ugly women? Probably not. We're not going to date short guys.
@@wayneturner8575 Spot on. But most women are too hypocritical to admit this embarrassing fact about their outdated stoneage mate-selection criteria.
love your channel insights emily..... always a great view into our differences.... I've lived through a wife and a fiance (both died from cancer), as well as countless other loves and relationships, and on my coming birthday I'll turn 62. my current fiance (of the past 5 year relationship) gave me a bracelet for my birthday 2 years ago. nothing to fancy, but an interesting design and has an intriguing look about it. I cried like a baby for several minutes...... when she asked me why I was crying I informed her that throughout my life, no woman I've been involved with had EVER given me a present like this..... it was my understanding of this fact that hit me so hard..... my guess is that as men, we NEVER expect this level of simple kindness as we've never experienced the receiving end of the gesture, just the giving end.......
I have my Lord, and that's really all I need.. Amen 🙏
What loneliness epidemic for men? It's the women I hear asking, "Where are the good men?" Men have discovered peace, and they are LOVING it!
Yeah. I have no problem with being alone, I get to do what I want. Are there certain challenging periods, sure, like Christmas and new years eve. But here is the thing, I'm alone, but I'm not lonely..... the oddity here is that usually when I feel loneliness it's in the company of others, as I'm reminded how narcissistic everyone has become and almost nobody wants to listen or even lets you finish the sentence of what you were busy saying. THAT is when I feel loneliness, not when I'm all by myself doing whatever I want to do.
@@stijnvdv2Man, I’ve noticed that too…people talking over one another, not taking turns. Is this really a new thing? I sincerely try to let others finish their thoughts, statements, etc before I speak. Sometimes it doesn’t always happen, and I have to excuse myself. But yeah, it does seem like what you said.
Yup.
They also discovered destinations like Thailand
Where have all the Good Men Gone ??? You Friend Zoned us all, Twenty Years Ago !!!
Wow my ex wife… she pitched a fit if I went out after work with coworkers… calling me every 10 minutes asking when I’ll be home. A direct quote: “it’s called happy hour. Not happy two hours!” But when she wanted to go out with friends or her sisters I’d say “ok!” And I wouldn’t talk to her until she got home with a simple “ did you have a good time?” Of course she did because I allowed her to. 🤦🏻♂️ yeah kelly I’m talking about YOU! Not that she’s be watching a help channel since she never needed any.
Preaching to the church there fam!
Story of my freaking life..
Stay strong brother
Funny how we all live the same sh1t no matter the country.
Here in the UK it's a standing joke that men have to ask their wives' permission to go out fishing with their male friends, or down the pub for a few beers, and if they're over their "home by" time the phone starts to ring. Or you see men looking at their watches or a clock knowing they'll have to set off soon because "I told the wife I'd be back by 10". If the guy is going to be late, his friends tease him about what punishment he's going to receive when he gets home. It's like lslistening to a little boy knowing his mother will scold him for staying out for too long with his friends. Even though he's a supposedly grown adult man in his 40s or 50s with a successful business.
How’s your marriage going?
#4. It's interesting that when men worked outside the home and the woman was the homemaker the domestic duties were less argued about. But it's women who decided to enter the work force and come home to domestic chores. NOTHING in the man's world changed except that now he has to do his role AND navigate her social experiment while being blamed for her double responsibilities. And so the system adjusted costs and taxes for a 2 income household- and there's no going back. Thanks, Feminism..
Emily you are absolutely right; both men and women are lonely these days. Look at any online dating website and what you have is a bunch of lonely people.
Both men and women share responsibility for the decline in relationships. Shaming is bad from either sex.
What gets lost is the teamwork in many modern relationships; the empathy, support, commitment, communication and cooperation. Affection and intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship and the nuclear family together; it is the foundation of support and love.
So many videos on TH-cam talk about; toxic masculinity, the falsity of modern Feminism, unreasonable expectations, body counts, inequity in a divorce, MGTOW, etc. These elements are certainly there in today’s dating/relationships and must be dealt with by a couple.
It all comes back to the "Golden Rule"; treat others the way you yourself want to be treated.
Your videos foster understanding between men and women. THIS is the root of the problem.
The end of my marriage was so painful that I don’t remember any of the happy times with my ex wife. She was the most miserable, contentious, and wretched person I ever met. I definitely did things wrong too. It’s just sad that a kid had to be involved.
I'm learning to be okay with being alone and enjoying my own company. Was seeing a girl for a few months and I had to open up to her about a part of my life, due to my upbringing, and she went along and ghosted me. She ended up using me for validation and whatnot because she had gotten out of a relationship a few months ago and was doing court for child custody. That and the complete joke known as dating apps has pretty much pushed me away from it in general. Messaging people who "like" or "match" with me only for them to leave me on read or unmatch is like... damn. Being introverted is also making meeting people/socializing difficult.
As for being emotionally available, the girl I was in a serious relationship back in 2020, broke up with me a month after my mom dying due to me grieving over my mom dying.
If that's gonna be what my experiences will be like going forward, I'm fine with being alone, tbh.
I hope you’re ok man, my condolences about you mom. Some people can be real harsh, being single can indeed mean you’re not lonely at all and also you can hang out with friends more often aye
@@Kenny-ep2nf Thank you 😄
I'm doing alot better now. Been trying to process things that have happened recently as well as the past. I was actually telling my therapist that spending time with my friends and being there for my dad and sister will help a ton. My dad has Parkinson's and is retired, but helping him and my sister is pretty much a high priority along with working, enjoying my hobbies and working on being the best me possible.
I agree that people can be harsh. I'm learning to shrug it off and move on. There's really no benefit in holding a grudge, be resentful or whatever. Causes you to have a worsening headache more than anything.
Dam, that's cold.,but a bird never out flies its tail.Mark my word, she will have to pay the piper.( I'm sorry for ur.loss.)
I am sorry for your loss.
Sounds like you’ve dodged some bullets.
I was ghosted by a guy for over a week, so I deleted his number. He sent a message saying he was back home. I was like.... who is this? He said ... it's me, I had to go to Florida for a week for my uncle funeral. The problem is.... he never told me he was going anywhere or that anything had happened. I told him I was sorry to hear that and that he should have told me. I knew right then he would do that all the time after that..... so, I ended it right there.
I'm sure he will say I stopped talking to him because someone in the family died.... but it was really the fact he never told me and just left me hanging with no contact at all.
i got told by my now ex wife that she wanted me to try and take care of my childhood trauma (i was neglected unless i was being treated as the family punching bag and was not allowed to hang out with friends after school) and sort through it. i told her i cant do it without faltering, and probably opening up emotions i locked away deep down, and probably withdraw a bit from my efforts in the relationship. she said she would be by my side no matter what. 3 months later she divorces me because im not paying as much attention to her, my emotional trauma is too much. and that she no longer had any respect for me and thought she was more of a man than i was. It has fucking devastated my confidence. I don't know why i still want her back. i really did love her but she broke me and my trust in a way i doubt ill ever fully recover from.
she thinks im the one who ruined the relationship.
That's fucking wild, I couldn't imagine thinking someone would support me through hell or high water, only to find out they're the fair weather type.
@@commodorejones8044 im still fucked up over it nearly 6 months later. Love is wild man
Men are missing the opportunity that modern women are giving them. as a male ,I never feel lonely. not being saddled with having to take care of women anymore, is a great time for men. Having time to follow my passions. I thank women for stepping up and finally pulling their own weight and not holding men back anymore. Thank you modern women for freeing men.
Damn right brother!
Im gonna resume my only time i was truly in love with a girl:
when i was 27 i dated the most beautiful girl at work, everything was great in the beggining until i noticed her lack of interest on responding messages or hang out, until one date night at the end of it she mentioned that she did not feel comfortable dating me anymore, that just destroyed me, i was putting sooo much effort trying to make her keep interest on me it was crazy, so i decided to back off and split up, almost 2 years later i started a new job and she was working there, she tried to flirt with me again many times but i was strong and say '''no, you made your desicion, respect mine now', moral of the story: always try to love yourself more than your partner, dont force something that is not meant to be and spend time knowing yourself and you will see how great of a guy you really are.
Actually, dude, you were trying to hard and making it easy for her. Women like a challenge. That's why she was losing interest. It's the nice guy effect. No worries, though, just keep that in mind for the next one! Stay frosty, bro.
She's probably crazy about you now, women love what they lose and when you ignore them
You’re lucky she wasn’t nasty and reported you to HR for harassment. That’s what a lot of them do nowadays.
Whenever I opened up, showed emotions and vulnerability, it was used against me. So why keep doing it at all.
In my opinion, the main blame is on the rise of social media and dating apps. Both are biggest mistakes of humanity.
I agree. People (especially women) don't realise how much time they waste on them. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, nobody has any idea how much social media warps our minds. It's like you're always looking at "perfect lives" of happy moments caught on camera when in reality, life is nothing like that. There are ups and downs and it is NORMAL. But of course, no one posts the bad memories of them online. The only bad memories we normally see on social media are deaths of close ones.
This also applies to dating apps.
I agree. As a woman I gave up on dating apps. I’m fine living alone and not being criticized. I lived with a guy who used to pick on how I would load the dishwasher since it was his house. I haven’t had a dishwasher in years.
My choices are dating apps or not dating.
I don't use apps so I don't date.
OMG, I did Laundry, changed diapers, cleaned the Kitchen, loaded the dishwasher and then my wife would constantly correct my effort. 🤦 Whatever I did, it was always wrong, even when it was right or fine. 😡
I'm almost 72 and grew up in a city in New Jersey....as a young man whenever I'd bring a girl home my father would check her out. Dad had a GREAT eye for a good woman. If during the evening my Dad would ask the girl....."Anymore at home like you"? If Dad was smiling the statement was high praise.....(it was left to me to explain how to my date). It usually meant that he saw treasure in the girl. If Dad was giving her the eye and NOT smiling....his statement meant..."Holy crap I hope there aren't any more like you at home". I had to think up something to tell her that was complimentary. Hey Emily....."ANYMORE AT HOME LIKE YOU"?....(The good way).
You're a keeper! PS...Dad is gone almost 50 years now.
Refreshing to hear a woman speaking on the loneliness epidemic for men with something other than mockery or derision.
Honestly those who speak about the topic with mockery and derision are repulsive creatures and all men should turn away from them in disgust if they know what's good for them.
I fight loneliness by joining a fraternity. Join Freemasons, VFW, American Legion, Sons of AM Legion, etc.
Well she knows how to get the clicks, the likes & the subscribers. She runs a good con for a woman that left her marriage, children and got knocked up by the new guy with whom she hooked up. I feel sorry for the children. No doubt they would have preferred to have grown up in a home with two loving parents. But no, she started making the big bucks and that all went bye bye. "This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth,
And says, “I have done no wickedness.” Proverbs 30:20.
@@kyle1598hffgyfv I see what you mean, but those are all exclusive clubs. I am VFW life member, but only people who fought in a foreign war can join the VFW. I was a legionnaire for awhile too, still am, just have to pay my dues. I don't think you need a combat deployment to join that, but you do need prior service with an honorable discharge. Never heard of SOAML, and I don't know much about the masons except what is readily available, but I understand it's a pretty exclusive club too.
What kinds of clubs can your average man join/create? It wouldn't be too hard to start your own club gear it towards whatever your interest are and create your own fraternal organization, you could even get funding if you know how to write a grant and your club's mission qualifies for the grant.
@@christianelder4983 Most of this content is grift anyway. It's just modern dear abby's. Nothing new under the sun and all that. Thanks for info on the creator. Hopefully someone showed her the way to forgiveness. The right way, where you admit wrong, apologize, and then how did he put it? "Go and sin no more"
Don't ever tell a woman a secret or express your emptions to them, for some day they will use it against you.
Learned that the hard way but thank god karma did her justice
💯
I actually had one ask me what my darkest secret was..... I full well knew that this was just to try and blackmail me at some point. From that point on it was like sleeping with the enemy. It took forever to get the monster out of the house.
That's true, listen to this advice! From the men who learned this the hard way, including me...
Boom 💥
If you're a sigma male,you're never lonely.💪
Absolutely true.
Emily - you continue to be SPOT ON! Especially your last point - I’m human - I can’t be my wife’s “all.”
The last time (which was also my first time) I trusted a woman (GF) to accept my emotional issues, I learned the hard way that I shouldn't have.
Same. When I had a breakdown she left me.
I’m much happier now though without her. I was always on trial to keep her happy and that was a big contributing factor for my breakdown.
In fact I don’t think I would have had a breakdown if it wasn’t for her.
I don’t think she accepts any accountability.
@@lucatkinson "I was always on trial to keep her happy" - Big, big, BIG mistake. And if a woman EVER shows signs of testing you then the best you can do is to kick her out too.
As much as it would be nice to get love and support from a girlfriend or wife, I can't help but see that as high minded idealism. Todays world is far too reactive and emotional for most people to even consider, let alone take the time to, empathising with the other person. Most men who express vulnerability will often find their relationships breaking down and their vulnerabilities exploited to harm or manipulate them. I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but the stories of other men seem to support this conclusion. I believe at the core of every hard-hearted man is the heart of a sweet and vulnerable child who just wanted to share his love and joys - until faced with the worlds cruelties.
Don’t confuse loneliness with being content in the fact that most women are not deserving of a genuine man and we are “content” with sacrificing having a relationship to assure we live longer, have less stress, retire younger and feel more fulfilled with our lives.
Ladies, you are no longer needed.
Sincerely… retired at 49 and traveling the world scuba diving on a whim. Couldn’t have achieved my zen with a woman holding me back from my goals… oh, I retired my son too.
Youre forgetting anothet main cause for male loneliness... hypergamy and the fact that 85% of the women only have eyes for 10% of the men. I appreciate what you do, Emily. Thank you for trying to understand men and educate people.
The law of big numbers is relentless though and it means that literally 90% of these women will never get a partner. Thus either they'll relent (which is the better case) or bad things will happen to them such as spend the rest of their lives alone.
@@CoolKoonrelenting isn't a better option if they feel like they settled. You're in for a rough life if they don't respect you and you were the fall back option.
@@martyj_9 By "relenting" I meant that they'll start treating men in their lives with respect. If they won't then they're in for either eternal loneliness or abusive relationships.
That goes both ways.
Women can never face reality about this
That part about communicating emotions hits hard. I couldn't tell you how many times I've been told how great it is that I want to communicate my emotions only for the same woman to immediately lose interest the moment she learns I've been through some serious stuff. I won't hide my emotions from a partner though, even if it that's the main reason I can't find one
What's even worse is they lie about things that turns them off or dont know about it until it happens. To me as a guy, it's like how do you NOT know? It's incredibly frustrating.
Just leave them bro, you’ll find the right one when the times right
Yep. The whole scenario is analogous to being stopped by the cops. Heed the Miranda warnings, as the cops are not there to exonerate you and if you talk to them, you are more likely to give them the evidence they are looking for to take you to jail. It’s a trap. Just like this “open up and be vulnerable” bit
The way you find a neutral stance and being very sweet about men and their qualities is keeping me positive towards a marriage in the future. I want a wife who sticks up for me like that and I want to be that for her as well of course.
You give me hope on the not-so-good days and for the future, thank you so much 🙏🏻
The funny thing is the traditionally "feminine chores" are nowadays split up over man/woman, but the traditionally "masculine chores" aren't split up.
It's only become 50/50 for the things that women used to do full time.
I don’t feel lonely. I’m a single father of a beautiful daughter. I’ve not seen or spoken to my daughter because of her mum in 10 months but I’m not lonely. I’m healing from being treated very badly by a woman. There’s a lot to be said for going within. I’m more spiritual than I have ever been. I’m comfortable with myself and look forward to my alone time. I don’t need to be in a relationship where there are rules and grief. Right now I like me, myself and I. You should not be with someone to make you happy. You should be happy in yourself before you meet someone. This is where it all goes wrong.
Hear, Hear! Thank you for expressing this - for both men and women.
I can literally identify with this comment.
That’s right brother, preach
I'm ALONE 90% of my time
I'm NEVER "lonely"
It gets better as time marches on. Peace and love always.
Modern men are forced to choose. You can be miserable in a relationship or you can be single and face lonelyness. Lonelyness can be delt with. The lonelyest I ever felt was when I was "happily married". If you are an abusive man, you'll be shamed and hated, even by other men. A cruel woman is celebrated and supported, even by other women. There are way more cruel women than there are abusive men. Men are walking away because women are mean and hateful. Why would a man want that? Men can easily make it on their own. It just takes a change of attitude and focus. A man can find purpose without a women. He just has choose it.
Emily understand men better than most men. She's a treasure.
I honestly have mostly given up on dating. I have been single for a while now, and I enjoy my peace. I enjoy doing what I want to do without feeling like I have to meet the expectations of someone else. After my last relationship, I realized that I am just happier in my peace. I decided that if a woman I take interest in wouldnt add to my peace, then I drop the idea. It sucks, but I bent over backwards in my last relationship. I lost friends. I was a different person. All because I wanted to be a good boyfriend. After that, I realized just how much of myself I had lost. I will not willingly put myself in a situation where I stand to lose myself again. Do I feel lonely from time to time? Sure, but instead of wallowing in it, I go and do something I enjoy.
One of the best life lessons ai learned is that joy is not something you feel, but something you choose. If something you choose takes away from that joy, that thing needs to be excised. It has served me well over the past 8 years. I wont stray from it.
Always be true to yourself. You owe it to yourself to be who you are. If others do not like that in you say goodbye. That applies to everyone.
That’s right man, do your thing and enjoy it. Don’t pay no thought to what the others say
This literally word for word describes my situation right now. Me and my girlfriend just had discussions of ending our 10 year relationship. I'm ready to find myself again. I hope you're enjoying life out there bud.
The main reason is ghosting! Women today have criteria that is so strict that it's impossible to satisfy her. If you said the wrong thing (which can be anything) or didn't do something, she just ghosts you. They break off contact and we have no idea what we did "wrong" and then possibly end up making the same mistake on the next date because we got no closure.
I couldn't agree more. Nowadays men need to have clairvoyance skills to get along with women. That's insane.
Been there before
Evidently men can ghost women for days and they see no problem with it...... but if I don't get back to a guy within an hour, I must be mad at him or I am ignoring him. That's been my experience.
@@rondasoutherland6882 I know virtually no cases of men ghosting women.
@westerncentristrants525 it just happened to me 3 weeks ago. Went out for a great night out on the town and had lots of laughs with a nice man. We talked on the phone every day for a week after that and planned another date for the following Saturday. On Friday I sent a message asking what town he wanted to meet at, mine or his. (We live in different towns just 35 minutes apart) He said he would let me know later that evening......I haven't heard from him since. I've sent 4 messages after that asking what happened and to make sure he was alright with no response. Yes, we get ghosted more than you think.... and stood up.
I am alone but I am not suffering.It's been almost 7yrs of peace and quiet with no drama.No leeching family,friends,kids or anyone else.This society is so messed up that I have literally turned my back on it including any chance of finding a compatible woman.That line has been crossed once too many times and I am never going down that road again.
There are still a large part of the planet's cultures, still uncorrupted.
I'm with you 99%. I am willing still. 69 years old and living the good life but alone. I'd love to find someone who could live with me and I with her. How do I do that?? Lol!! The women I see are so unworthy. My sisters and my cousins(mostly) would never behave the way modern women behave. Go ahead with your bad self, but don't expect decent guys are going to like it.
Being alone means finally doing things I needed to like saving money to get a new car. Reading a good book, waking up each day without unexpected emotional drama, a peaceful quiet day. Driving around visiting friends. No emotional lip service.
I'm 63 (man) and work in an industrial environment with a lot of younger 20s-40s men and women. I heard not long ago from one man in his early 30s who was not motivated to date that, (as you mentioned in this video), because there is too much confusion in the gender roles..."what is expected, is unknown", and it has caused conflict in his dating experiences. So interesting that you mentioned that. My first job out of college was in a factory, then 30 plus years in advertising, now back in a factory setting. Very interesting to listen to the younger people talk about relationships compared to when I was their age.
The best is that my soon to be ex-wife had the audacity to say that one of the reasons that we are getting a divorce is that I wasn't emotionally available enough. The reason why that is funny is because I have always been very open and expressed my concerns, feelings and was highly empathetic to her own concerns and feelings. HOWEVER. She confessed to me that she cheated on me and for the few months after that, I was withdrawn and trying to process what she had done to me. So yes, for those few months I was emotionally distant ( we had agreed to see counselling and I was essentially counting down the days until we did) because I couldn't tell our friends and family about what she had done because I didn't want anyone to hate her. And then she dropped the news that she wanted a divorce and I started telling everyone and sure enough. Aside from her family, everyone else took my side and she lost nearly all her friends and my family of course.
I also didn't tell anyone about my ex abusing me because I didn't want anyone to hate her. In the end I swear she lost respect from me lying for her or maybe she never had any respect.
@@eddier155 I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated like that and you 100% deserve to be with someone that respects and will defend you rather than use you as a punching bag.
Yes we all deserve common decency and respect. I hate that I ignored the 73 million red flags because eventually her issues dominated my very existence. I don't bother telling friends about the abuse I endured because they either won't believe it or end up hating her. Just wish I didn't have so many unanswered questions about how and why. Thankfully there's plenty of useful information in videos like this one.
@@eddier155my friend, just become the best version of yourself! The best revenge is to live an amazing life!
Yeah, when they cheat and berate and condescend and disrespect, the gloves are off!
You make me feel less lonely. Just some comfort to know you think like this. So thank you...
If I am lonely, it is because I choose to be. I manned up, and have standards that others do not respect or hold.
I haven't had a girlfriend in over 25 years years. Since covid, I lost several friends. I don't miss human company, but my cat died a while ago. I do miss him.
I couldn't agree more. Men have ALOT on their shoulders from relationships, family, friends and even their own marriages too. I wish to all the men out their to seek the help you need, to find the right women to be there, love and support you in everything you do and to find the happiness where you need it most.
Suggestions on where to look? Places where quality women want to be approached where everyone feels safe and that kind of interaction is expected?
It needs to be genuine as well. It feels disingenuous to specifically go and do something I would never do in any other circumstance just to be in a warm environment.
@@deanthroop8054 I can't tell you specifically where to go, who to find or what type of women to love you. That is something that you really want for yourself. I apologize if I didn't make my comment more specific enough.
@@Butterflysoul1990 fair enough, thank you. Positive thoughts for you.
@@deanthroop8054 thank you. Same to you as well.
@@tilens.5710 Don't use social media to find a girl. Find one offline instead. Easier said than done, but it's better to find someone that's offline than from a social media site.
I haven't dated since I was 21 yrs old - I worked on my career goals. I have tried to rejoin the dating pool and most women now days want to be on the Tic-Tak, fartbook, only bans or whackchat. I had some woman try to shame me just because of my choice of going to school and getting a associates, bachelors, 2 Masters degrees and a PhD so I can take care of a woman properly instead of dating 500 women. I can count the girlfriends I had on 4 fingers for funs sake.
I think I am trying to do the correct thing. I'd learned to stay single and stay true to myself instead of lowering my expectations.
Your ego bypass (detachment) in explaining both sides is most refreshing. Thank you Emily. To each talent goes the job/task/mission.
I cried at my grandfathers funeral. Girlfriend left the next day. Haven’t dated since.
Sorry to hear that. I've heard the same many times over after the man experienced a death in the family, including one of his children. I've also heard women call a guy weak and pathetic after the dog he'd had for many years had died, and then leave him.
@@EE12CSVTHonestly, we are better off when they show their true colors.
@@EE12CSVT Brother of my friend committed suicide. My friend was devastated. Do I have to tell you that his girlfriend told him to get over it with zero compassion and left him in less than 6 months. They were living together for few years at that point. Took the dog with her btw.
You've dodged a bullet right there.
@@TorsteinTheFallen Better late than sorry, he's lucky that wretch has shown her true colors soon enough.
There is no such thing as "toxic masculinity" there are only toxic personalities. Masculinity is not toxic.
And most of those are feminine.
Well said.
It's the whole "Not all that wander are lost." I like to believe those who chose to be alone aren't lonely, but instead chose one word above all else, peace. As I've gotten older, my top priorities have changed and peace is probably #1 in my life.
I'm a middle aged man and I'm not in a relationship. That doesn't mean I'm lonely, I just spend a lot of time by myself. I have my peace of mind at home with no one moving my keys or complaining that I left the toilet seat up. There's no rogue credit card bills or insufferable drama in my life. I think I'll keep things just the way they are now.
Strongly agree with this take. The changing times, with regards to gender roles, has thrown the whole family dynamic into question. Trying to find my place in that relationship has been difficult.
I am super glad both men and women can now share many of the roles in the relationship, but while I am strongly in favor of equality, I do not agree with the female supremacy that some women espouse (that women should have to do nothing while being able to spend all the money on things she wants).
I hope to see a day where men and women can be partners and find a relationship dynamic where all the struggles are shared.
I'm truly amazed how well you understand men. I told my wife you are required viewing.
Coming from a person who has lived for more than 3 score and 10 years, I watch your channel to learn how relationships function today, versus when I was your age. Like you said in your video, many things have changed. As I see it, the biggest differences are that most young people do not know how to carry on a personal conversation. This is because of “the machines”. People would rather text than speak in person. Go to a coffee shop and you will see what I mean. This leads to a lack of social skills development. So if young people don’t talk to each other face to face, how do you expect them to communicate within the confines of an intimate relationship.
I have watched several of your videos. You are spot on in what you say. You have renewed my faith in young people. Keep up the great work!
My life experience just taught me that talking about what I'm going through will have me seen as worse.
So i just stay silent and go along my days alone. I have accepted this already and i know that nothing i do will change how things are.
I'm ready to face life on my own until i die.
I totally agree with all 5 points. I've found myself since becoming single after a 12yr marriage-now divorced I've not seen my 2 daughters in 2.5yrs all because of my x-wife who is a narcissistic controlling type of person. She wanted me to show my emotions & when I did I was labelled "a crybaby, a sook" etc... it takes a real man to show his emotions these days!
There's a difference between showing emotions and crying to your wife. You shouldn't do the latter
I suspect the most important reason I am and will most likely remain single for the rest of my life, is that I don't value the same qualities in myself that a woman is looking for in a man.
In response to my first open crying moment with my ex, "i thought it was gross and unattractive, and i considered breaking up with you." I wish she had, rather than keep me believing she loved me for 10 more years.
I am a Gulf and Iraqi war veteran. I am 70% disabled, PTSD, bipolar depression, and anxiety. I have demons that I fight daily. So take or leave it. I have other problems than shallow, self important ladies.
I battled PTSD and the resulting alcoholism for 15 years. Still deal with depression and anxiety, but hide it pretty well. Sticking with old fashioned, conservative women, I haven't had many issues with my mental health being a problem. Been sober for 3 years, I work on myself, and as long as I'm good to them....they've been pretty good to me. The real secret is staying away from liberals, IMO.
Got news for ya, it’s not just liberal women that are fake, self absorbed women. It’s not a one side or other issue. It’s a generational issue I think.
Thank you for your service. My new husband is also an Iraqi vet. He is the most incredible person I have ever met and I value his perspectives from his time in the service. It permeates so much of who he is on a very subtle level (like he is very protective and capable, methodical and organized but also highly adaptable). He has is scars, but he wouldn’t be who he is without them.
If you want a partner, I hope you find someone who values you for you.
@@Swearengen1980Liberals are … well, I find their thinking hypocritical and devoid of a moral compass.
Kudos for your personal growth and I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself. All the best!
I think I don’t have a wife or significant other because how can somebody love someone who is disgusted by themselves. I couldn’t save my buddies, and I can’t help think that it should have been ME! I live with the shame and guilt of not being enough. I hate myself for probably killing other human beings. I am sorry shouldn’t unload on here. Bottom line I don’t love me, so how can anybody else
Most of this loneliness in today's society, is that people (especially women, sorry, not sorry) Are too busy thinking about Me, me, me. What will I get out of this, what will you do for me. There is no "us" any longer. The women always state they want this and that, but in reality, they want and do the opposite. If you lie to men, how can you ever get what you want and or need? I spent a long time studying women after my divorce. I have tested many theories, after seeing how people react to situations. Women are actually the ones that are lonely, and just (once again) trying to push the issue that it's men. Men are not as lonely as you'd like us to be, so, Women, stop trying to shame men into thinking it's all their fault. it takes 2.
so true. a man can be alone and be truly happy. A woman simply cannot.