So I married a woman with a high body count. She gave me the impression that it was lower while we were dating but I eventually learned it was much higher. I eventually had to file for divorce because she was unfaithful. This was completely predictable and could have been gleaned from knowing how she conducted herself in her youth. Look it's not the number but what the number means. It means she can't commit or she can't discern. Meaning she wouldn't know a good man if he was standing in front of her with a choir of Angel's singing hallelujah. She's broken and you can't fix her no matter how hard you try. Believe me I know.
Absolutely correct, it is less about the actual number, and whether or not this woman has the demeanor for a committed relationship. Women with high notch counts are often broken, and while men are natural problem-solvers, there are some problems we are just not able to fix.
You absolutely can fix her. It just requires some things people of our age have been programmed to find "horrible" and "distasteful." Like brainwashing, psychological conditioning, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and general tips/tricks of slavecraft. So first they took away our ability to fix women when they go awry/bananas, then they crank up the propaganda and make women go nuts. Hmm.... riddle me that one Batman!
And This Right Here Is The Biggest Mistake Men (And Women) Are Making, We Might Be Natural Problem Solvers But Its Not Our Responsibility To Be Our Woman's Therapist Trying To "Fix" Her. Nor Is It A Woman's Responsibility To Be Our Therapist & "Fix" Us. We Are Draining Ourselves Taking On A Responsibility That Isn't Ours That Nobody Asked Us To Take & If They Did That's A Boundary We Both Need To Learn To Establish & Respect In Our Relationships. If It Can't Be Respected Then We Need To Either Part Ways Peacefully Or Run Like A Bat Outta Hell Depending On The Damage.
For men seeking women, low body count = Not likely to cheat. Null and void if the man is just looking for a quick hook up. For women seeking men, low body count = less valued (by women) and why a man being a virgin well into their 20's/30's is terrified they'll be a virgin forever.
for those who want a short list: 1: std's 2: her reputation 3: how she spends her time/hobbies and habits 4: Trauma/baggage 5: pair bonding difficulty/relationship satisfaction Although I would also add the possibility of paternity fraud
I still find Tania Joya attractive, but she doesn't strike me as being generally loose. Other than that, the problem isn't even the diseases, it's that all women with huge sexual histories are fundamentally untrustworthy, deceptive, and unfaithful. And it's not just the count either, it's the age. In fact a woman that had multiple partners but was only in committed relationships is less trustworthy than a woman who's had a couple fewer but they were all hookups when they were like 13. Of course, people having sex at 13 have probably had dozens of sexual encounters by adulthood. I've heard the most disgusting thing that apparently there's girls in their 20s with 100 past partners. Any woman who started having sex at an early age does not see it as a big deal and she WILL likely cheat. They don't see it as sacred, and they don't take that part of marriage seriously. The added problem is women lie about this, which ironically while I could maybe be a retard and ignore the huge sexual history, the fact is most women aren't even going to take that chance of being honest and so they all invariably do the one thing most guaranteed to piss me off which is lie to my face, and that alone is grounds for termination. I will not and can not forgive lying to my face. And women with body counts always pull this shit too and they will likely not ever be honest with you, putting you in the position of wasting lots of time before figuring it out the hard way and needing to dump them (if you stay together you're a retarded simp, she's going to cheat on you and THEN bail on your ass so cut your losses ASAP, women like this are incapable of fidelity and honesty).
@@WhiteRaven12773, everybody. EVERYBODY rides it. The problem is who's going to want to pay for the repairs and upkeep? In the end it gets used up and tossed aside.
thats logic xommon in woman that only soyboys (simp slave, bitchy gossipy , usually low testosterone men, ) use, because they have low self confidence because they know their immature deep down bellow all those lies, so they follow thecrowd or whatever their uncontrolled feelings do to them, often inclding peer pressure
My wife and I met when we were 17, married at 19, and have only been with each other. Call,us old fashioned, but we don’t ever have to wonder if either of us ever had it “better” with someone else. In July we celebrate 49 years of a beautiful monogamous marriage and I love her more each and every day.
Congrats to you and your wife. I wish this could happen more, but today's younger generation don't really get to start traditional adult life at 18 like that. In most job centers, rent is unaffordable for an 18 year old, so the ones that don't go to college either need 4 roommates, or live at home through their late 20s. If they go to college, traditional adult life gets pushed back even further. This gap from age ~18-28 makes the hookup culture way more prominent. I believe if younger people could afford to buy a house and start a family in their early 20s it would be a different story.
She will never tell you otherwise because she knows it will hurt your feelings. The reality is a lot of women who have only been with one man in this world have never even really had an actual orgasm and the man is never the wiser.
I am turning 30 years old this year as a woman and still a virgin. I used to be embarassed about it but not anymore. I am a 10. Im a old school hopeless romantic. Its SO HARD to find a good man who is similar to me aka my soulmate. I am not ashamed anymore. The society calling me weird can go off.
Absolutely nothing wrong with this. You have standards and respect your self. The only people who make fun of you for it are clowns. Like imagine giving a shit about another persons sex life? What does that say about them?
Embarrassed why? You're a catch. You have the right to be picky, and demand what you want in a man, why? Because there's not that many girls like you...Your man can flaunt you, but what's there to flaunt with a girl with a high body count? Every other guy already got a piece of her.
So what about the men who are having the sex. Why does the women body count and not the man. This conversation should be that you cannot trust anyone who has a large body count. Not just women who have them or not just men, but both because both partipate into the behavior. But to many men are hung up on looks also instead of personality and other factors tnat are more important in living together day to day.
@@narek323Sure it does. You such a hypocrite. Why is against the women to have a high body count but OK for men. Men cheat 10% more then women do. Talk about being a misogynist. Basically it does not matter who has the high body count, the man or women or both. It just shows they enjoy sex but not ready or want to get married. But if someone is bouncing around then they are probably not going to be faithful no matter what sex they are.
I'm 53 yrs old, I can openly say that I have a "body count" of 5 men. Two of the 5, I was married to and the other three were long term relationships. I can' honestly say that I'm pretty proud of that. I guess I just don't understand women these days where the goal in life is being a dirty whore. If they're trying to get attention, then they are going about it all wrong and it's pretty sad and pathetic. In the long run, they're only hurting themselves and God bless all the kitty cats, because there are going to be MILLIONS of "Crazy Cat Lady's". They have no self respect, no morals or values, NOTHING except ridiculous "demands" from men. Keep those standards high gentlemen and be damn proud of them, you deserve nothing but the best!
As a dude in his mid thirties, I wish I could see the morals you clearly have expressed within a woman near my age. However, I stopped even looking a few years back just because of the sheer effort involved in dealing with ego's meant for a queen, yet have the mental and spiritual fortitude of a drugged up hobo on the streets. Just so happens the drug they are addicted to is dopamine and you never know the value of what you have until you lose it. With regard to your desire to understand the motives of younger women, it is only my opinion, but I believe the reason you see many as whores yet they appear to be completely immune to that sort of language is ego. If you stroke anyone's ego for long enough, they will think too highly of themself. They don't think they are whores therefore, because they feel they deserve the affectionate treatment. Many women will tell other women they deserve things they probably don't for this same reason. You stroke my ego and then I'll stroke yours. This is technically a drug deal for dopamine on both sides. A fair number have probably had that sort of drug addiction for most of their life. If you have this ego issue get extreme enough, you get solipsism, or, the idea that you are the only thing that actually exists and everything else is just an extension of you. Ironically enough there is a theory that babies, for a set amount of time after birth, have solipsism because they have no logical barriers yet to what is the self. It takes moments like the baby crying for something and NOT getting what it wanted that allow the child over time to recognize that, for instance, it's mother IS NOT itself. As the parent won't always do exactly what the child wanted when they wanted it. Funny/Sad to think we are essentially actively promoting women behave and perceive existence like an infant.
6. The Frankenstein monster of the perfect guy that exists in women’s head. That she makes by taking the best qualities of her previous partners and measures against the present guy she’s dating.
@@kennethsmith6367BOOM! You just nailed the “broken female’s fantasy” like some say.. there ARE NO Disney Princesses😂 there’s no Prince Charming coming for these females who’ve broke so many souls and hearts.. when they relate to one red flag! You’ll never know that female they have been traumatised and it will be THE excuse every time, and me I’ll laugh as I’ve been through sooo much trauma it scares a lot that I’m still here🤷🏼♂️🙏 by 30-35 who doesn’t have some kind of trauma it’s no excuse! And I swear older females cannot control their mouths. I refuse to curse out a female just on respect and principle.. but 🤯 if I lm not as talkative I’m this that and the other and never get “are you ok?” Just tantrums. When a man tells a woman about his pain and she doesn’t take it seriously- or kicks him instead of asking if he’s ok.. you remove yerself if they have it in their head you will do this and that.. it’s a waste. And unlike me, I’ve been hurt so I don’t set out to hurt anyone but it’s a game for some.. one that has me ready to bounce from this country ✌️😮💨 Good luck bro!
Holy smokes. #1 is 100% accurate. I’ve just learned about this concept recently while I’m trying to navigate lingering strong sexual attraction to my ex-wife who cheated on, had a love child, and divorced me. Just came to know that she had a high body count, that I repressed severely out of being naïve , while she was and has been the only woman I’ve slept with. I’ve been divorced for almost 2 years. But yes the pair bonding makes so much sense in regard to why we care about a woman’s body count. I believe I’ve pair bonded with her even though I can’t trust her farther than I can throw her. It’s a totally crappy feeling when you still have this abnormal attraction to someone who has hurt you so incredibly bad.
I did my ex after the divorce. I wish I hadn't. I thought because I had forgiven her that the bad feelings were gone. They were just contained and intimacy set them loose. You are better off just getting someone new. You won't be able to rebuild the past in some way that she isn't a cheater.
I feel your pain (Sorry Bill Clinton) brah. Move on. Learn to see her for what she is: a whore/slut who abused you. There are PLENTY of fish in the ocean. Move on.
Bro, I hate to break it to you, but you aren't pair bonded with this woman. Yes, you were married to her at some point in time, but she cheat on you, had a child with another man, divorced you, and you say yourself that you can't trust her. That is *not* pair bonding. This lingering sexual attraction you have for her is just limerence, and judging from your description of her, I highly doubt she feels the same way about you.
When I was 19 I dated a girl whose body count was 16 when at the time she was 18. I wish I stayed away as she ended up cheating on me. At the time she was trying to convince me she was ready for a relationship etc. and then found out later she cheated. Many years later I find out she got 2 kids now from 2 diff blokes and she single. I’m glad we went out separate ways. Just wish I never met her in the first place.
I am 31 and a tradesman. I spent 4 years after my only big break up at age 20 just chasing as many women as possible, trying to feel better about myself. I couldn't hold long term relationships with them because I hadn't dealt with the damage done by my cheating ex. Years later being married, I wish I could forget every one of those situations. The "fun" I was having at the time devalued sex and I think devalued women in my mind. It took years to undo that terrible mindset and sometimes I still have a hard time trusting people or trusting myself to treat people right. Focus on your own well being and career. After that, serious relationships only. That is my advice to young men these days.
Don't be so hard on yourself. So you had a little fun. I don't see that as a big deal and you didn't mistreat anyone. The women were willing participants. No need to feel guilty. Human desire and sex is part of our biology.
I learned too late about my now ex-wife's high body count. Once I found out the truth I was repulsed by her, I didn't even want to share a bed let alone touch her. I also learned that she had several abortions at the same time. No surprise she cheated and I never felt like the divorce was a mistake. I have lived a much better life since removing her from it.
Problem is not the bodycount itself. Its her personnality, which also involve a high body count. But you cant say every woman who had several partners is like that.
I will have to disagree, while the actual number will vary from man to man there will ultimately be a number that no man can tolerate. We have all heard the statistics about a woman's ability to pair bond being all but lost after 5 sexual partners, how should a man dealing with woman with dozens or worse expect to have a real lasting relationship. While many women consider this empowering, we men see it as degrading and disgusting@@danslavallee
Thanks, Emily, for this. I'm reminded of an old saying: "When a woman is interested in a man, she looks at his future. When a man is interested in a woman, he looks at her past.". This seems to be human nature and it can be difficult for the genders to understand this about each other. Good topic, thanks again.
Men don't want to have a women on his arm that his friends, business dealings and family may have had. That women causes him to loose status in the eyes of the men around him that either know what she was or spent time with her.
We don't need a reason and there is no debate. We care and there's nothing you can do about it. The best you can do is find a man desperate enough to pretend he doesn't care.
I remember, just after college, I was sitting at an event and a beautiful single woman sat down next to me. We started talking and hit it off. I felt great about it. Then, as we talked about mutual acquaintances, I came to realize that she was a woman who had spontaneous pickup sex with at least five of my friends. In one case, two at a time. I instantly was repulsed by her. Part of it was the STD issue. Part was the fact that so many of my friends had experienced her. I would have been ashamed to bring her around or to let any of my friends know I married her. I disengaged from the conversation as quickly as possible and turned down her invitation to dinner. She probably never suspected why.
A woman’s past tells me about her future. Women with high body counts have difficulty pair bonding. Women with high body counts are better for short term sexual relationships. Women with no or low body counts are better for long term sexual relationships. This has been my personal experience over the years.
I remember I was on my third date with my now wife, and this guy suddenly angles over to the table. It was immediately clear in my wife’s eyes that she knew who he was, and I was thinking, “uh oh, here it comes, this chick has a baggage train.” He didn’t even acknowledge her, just looked at me and says, “Hey man, don’t waste your time, this girl is a prude.” And walks away. He could not have given her a better endorsement. It was so good that I suspected she engineered it for the longest time.
More men should look out for other men like this. Women do it all the time. They will even go as far to trash a man with lies about him just to be mean, vindictive and manipulative, but that’s in their genes.
@@Makemysammich23 Yes, it is very common. Especially if the man is not socially adept, doesn’t have social media, and doesn’t gossip. Women with men like this feel they can trash him and slander him (for any number of reasons, like manipulating the feelings of others) without him ever knowing. My wife does it, too, though in a positive way. While it is flattering that she wants to tell people good things about me, I still don’t really like it. Having random people or acquaintances say “I heard you are really great with your kids” causes me to inwardly cringe, but I haven’t confronted her about it. It would hurt her feelings and cause unnecessary friction, but it is always in the back of my mind that pay attention to what people are saying in the event it starts to be negative things I’m hearing.
At its core, a lot of this is all related to paternity. Women can never truly understand how important & dangerous this is for men because women will obviously know that the child she gave birth to is hers, while men have no such guarantee.
@@davidz3879 oh it does. u just dont understand the point. while men want women with low body count to be sure its their baby, women prefere men with high body count (sadly) because it means their dna is valuable and cant provide for good babys. its all biology since we are just animals like every other animal on this planet
High body count means promiscuity. There will always be mistrust from the man, not to mention the promiscuous female will likely mistrust her man. Chaste woman will always be more highly valued by any discerning man. Men want real love as much women, but in order to achieve that, men require the two most important aspects of a relationship: Loyalty and Respect. And yes, of course that’s a two-way street.
As a guy who is 56 and married for 28 uears, and has slept with only one woman, I can say I really, really, feel for the you guys at the moment. Feminism has turned normal women into ‘high body count’ (we all know what that means) girls and told them it is empowering and normal. My son is 25 and hooked up with a good woman, and I think he might have got lucky. Stick to your principles, guys, a wrong decision might cost you dearly these days.
With STDs alone I can't wrap my head around why women DON'T seem to care about their partner's body count. Women have told me very confidently and proudly that they don't care and all I can think is "but... YOU. REALLY. SHOULD. CARE."
When they are young, they don't see why it matters, so they don't care. Later on when they finally understand why it matters, it's too late -damage is done, you can't go back. Its really sad the way feminism gave them "the freedom to do as they please" and "the gun to their head" at the same time.
@@godozo I'm a woman and that's always how I have looked at it. Lack of sexual discipline is such a turn off for me. And surely, that lack of discipline translates in other areas of the person's life. If you're reckless with your own body, how can I trust you with anything?
My challenge with a high body count (myself included; male) is that it's a form of training. When we are going from partner to partner to partner, and not needing it to last it trains the eye to look for the next one, the next one, the next one... Then out of the blue you want to start a relationship With NO Training!!! I am nearly half way through my life, and I'm grateful to say "I have zero training for one night stands". People who do well with causal hook-ups, are those who don't have empathy. Empathy creates emotional connections.
I literally can't even do that. It's honestly a bit creepy and scary to think about how people can have actual baby making sex with each other and feel nothing. Imagine being literally that dead. Like your soul is just dead. That's not even the Thousand Cock Stare levels of trauma, that's just serial killery sociopathy. I also adamantly disagree with anyone talking about experience, it's not a good thing, if anything it leaves you more damaged and even more unable to get in and maintain a relationship than when you were younger. In fact my relationships DID get shorter as time progressed, until I finally just got so damaged and realized I'd had it with people fucking groping me. So to me it's like how people talk about forced schooling for "socialization" fuck no it's the same thing as sending yuor kid to prison, would you send you child to prison to "make them learn how to socialize and make friends"? No of course you wouldn't because that only teaches them the negative ways to socialize and they don't even begin having real friendships without transactional bullshit and leaves them even WORSE off than someone with no experience, because now they have to literally unlearn all the bad things they were taught on top of that and basically fight against their own second instincts. It reminds me of this landscaping construction thing I did, where the (it was my first time doing it back then) bossman was like "oh no that's good." I'm like why's that good? He said "it's because this means that you didn't learn how to do something someone else's way and I don't have to wait time for you unlearning all the stupid shit the last guy taught you. I don't have to be patient with you unlearning how to do things wrong. I can just teach you how to do things right the first time." And that is why if you had sex at an earlier age or if you had tons of sexual partners you're really fucked beyond how badly you imagine, and my protip would be for you to take at least several years off from your shenanigans. I agree with what that one woman had to say, the dating pool is so toxic because some people never go and time to heal and instead jump back directly in to start pissing in the pool immediately. So I think if you did conduct yourself poorly with a string of bad relationships, you're pretty much better off just taking a bit of time to work things out, rather than waste more time on broken relationships that're only going to make you worse. It's like switching to cigars to stop yourself chain smoking, you're still an addict and now you're only going to stink more.
@@williamlevy6964 Yes, you can! You sound like a man who has challenges with emotional connections. Men like this tend to have trust issues; commitment issues... Mature men like me who have a healthy sacred masculine, are men with strong integrity, that provides empowering emotional connections! You're just not there just yet. Focus on your healing, and you will be.
The main reason for a man to be concerned about a high body count or any amount of casual encounter-type history is the emotional damage that must exist in that woman. The sex itself will be fine, but there is more to it than that.
I think she’s definitely right about women who have a low body count or are virgins. It’s for a reason they’ve saved themselves or have been careful. They don’t want a man either with a high body count. I didn’t. And while I was a virgin and my husband wasn’t when we married, he only had a body count of 2. Considering the research that was shared in this video, is a relief.
The problem with this reasoning is that a virgin man does not = a virgin woman. All the qualities men are looking for in virgin women are *not* present in virgin men whatsoever... men aren't women.
@@davepazz580 Nobody said men and women are the same. The reasoning can be different or similar, doesn't matter. The point is women who do their best to honor their body & exercise discipline want men who have done the same... and are as repulsed by men with high body counts as men are repulsed by women with high body counts.
@@sarauniyaGH You are suggesting that men and women are perfectly identical with this line of thought... It would be as if I said, "Men who have done their best in their careers and disciplined to making hundreds of thousands of dollars per year want women who make the exact same money"... Even if you found some examples of this being true for *some* men, the *huge* majority of financially successful men couldn't care any less if a woman has a great career or making the same money he does... he's looking for other qualities and the stats would prove this fact. Same goes for virgin vs. non-virgin or high body count men... the *majority* of women choose men based on anything *but* a man's body count, and the stats show this very clearly. So these words of yours sound very nice, but ultimately empty and meaningless... *most* women desire men that other women also want, and such men are *not* virgins. As I said before, a virgin man does *not* "equal" a virgin women... if they were the same, then no high body count man would ever even exist int he first place.
@@davepazz580 Again, men and women are not the same. That does not mean we don't share similarities. If a woman is an honest person and hates liars.. she is not gonna desire a habitual liar for a partner. Same as a man. Just like lying is an undesirable trait regardless of gender, promiscuity is an undesirable trait regardless of gender. So I don't understand why it's so hard for you to accept that a woman who makes the conscious decision and effort to not be promiscuous typically desires a partner that is similar in nature. People with high body counts are mostly having sex with other people with high body counts.. whether they realize it or not. A virgin woman looking for a long-term commitment like marriage with someone who will love, value, respect & be loyal to her 9/10 is not gonna choose the man having sex outside of committed relationships, using multiple women as fleshlights or hopping from situationship to situationship. That's the case for me, a lot of the women I know, and OP whose comment you originally replied under. There are probably a few outliers out there, but they are definitely not the majority. We choose men for a lot of different reasons.. similarities in some aspects is definitely one of them.
@@sarauniyaGH They certainly don't share "similarities" when it comes to the *primal* factors that instinctively draw one to the other... It's a well-known fact that men who are financially very well off and have a high social status attract the greatest number of women... but women that are very financially well-off do *not* attract the greatest number of men. A woman's bank account and public profile bears no significance whatsoever in her power to attract, but a man *needs* to build his financial and social status high to even think about attracting women in any real capacity. See? What works for one doesn't work for the other... in fact, the *only* men enjoying female attention in the dating scene are financially secure, high-status men (these men are constantly dating new women and sleeping with them also). Now, you can choose whatever man you like (women are the ones that choose sex anyway)... I don't object to your personal choice, but I do reject this silly idea of ascribing a virgin woman's characteristics onto a male virgin, somehow thinking a man with multiple partners in his life means he's "using multiple women as fleshlights or hopping from situationship to situationship". These silly characterizations are what promiscuous *women* are known for... men aren't women, and don't even control access to sex in the first place. As someone here once said: "A virgin man is simply a loser that can't get laid.... end of story." If the vast majority of women said what you said and actually *acted* according to those beliefs (i.e. they *only* dated virgin guys) then I'd give more seriousness to this point of view because I'd have proof it's actually happening on a large scale. But that's far from what goes on in the real world, so I place no relevance on such statements whatsoever... they are just nice words with very little impact in real life.
My dad once explained it to me like this "Imagine you're at a social event and the men there are passing around a can of beer that every guy spits in and then passes along. When the can comes to you, would you drink out of it knowing that many men spit I to it before you?"
@@Jerry-yb7po I was asking the person who provided the "can of beer" analogy. I wanted to know what *he* thought. For presumably you would not want to drink that beer even if the people were allowed to spit in it.
On women, lots of bodies, like tattoos, are a good indicator of issues. Some guys like wild nonconformists... but that gets less and less attractive to men as they mature, and women with those traits have a tougher and tougher time competing over time. There'll always be guys available who just want a good time, but the ones looking for something serious will look elsewhere.
Tattoos, anything other than ear piercings, smoking, anything aside from extremely light drinking are all signs of promiscuity. People can cope all they want, but its true
Disagree. Not a fan of tattoos and a bunch of piercings for myself, but I find women with them to be attractive. I'd say it's more a personal taste thing.
yeah I never really thought of myself as being conservative really, but I don't like tatoos on women. I mean if it's some small cute thing somewhere with a deep meaning to her, it's not a deal breaker, but yeah lots of tatoos are a huge red flag and honestly I think it screws up the beauty of their skin.
Some of these topics can be made for both sexes actually, in my vision, not just the physical heath part, but the mental as well. And as a male who has participated in hook up culture and serial monogamy, finding my true love and being able to (not without effort, from both sides) change my ways to build a healthy relationship, I have to say that I literally can feel a (positive) difference in how my mind works now. Although men and women's brains have somewhat different biochemical and morphological works, the ways in which humans in general perform change in themselves are basically the same. Having a specific "routine" in our lives can make us repeat ourselves even when we don't like what we're doing. And by rooting out the cause of bad habits and commiting to a choice of way of life can be effective in bettering both physical and mental health.
If it matters to HER so much how tall he is, then he gets to care whether or not Chad, Tyrone, and the rest of the block ran through her like a track & field court.
These and SO many more reasons. Generally, a promiscuous woman also lacks morals, integrity, self respect, etc. etc.. and guessing way more likely than average to cheat if she ever does find herself in a LTR. It's a huge turnoff for me and is a solid 'deal breaker'. The sad thing is that many people have no issue lying about it. Pretty sad the things we have to deal with in society these days. 🤦🏼♂
The biggest worst most ironic thing about all that is the simple fact that LYING is itself a true and total dealbreaker to me. And so all you're really doing when you do that and lie to me is pushing off when I'm going to break up with you. Because once I found out that you lied to me to my face (and I will find out eventually, one way or another; we all do eventually) it goes from being a "wellll this is a problem but Bob the builder can still fix it and make this work" to "you broke down the fundamental loyalty, trust, and honesty needed to make any relationship work, that is literally the definition of what relaitonships are is trust/honesty/loyalty, and so therefore we don't even have anything anymore and I question how much we even had is a lie." I can't stand it that women do this. No female sin is more prominent and outrageous than the complete lack of honesty and blunt truthfulness that the majority of women display in trying to basically avoid conflict and dodge responsibility or looking bad, and so they basically use all means available to avoid using the real truth. Hence a lot of the times even when a guy is just directly telling the truth like K Samuels "yeah but I don't like the way he said it" that when you follow the logic it eventually gets to halftruths and misrepresentations to make the one party look good and the other party look bad. Women that do this pathologically I try and avoid like the plague and the problem is you really can't tell them apart at first glance. But it's just sad to me because on the off chance I, personally, really liked someone (and frankly in my case it's super rare, like even feeling deeply drawn to a person is something I only experience a few times a decade) I'm highly liable to overlook literally absolutely everything about a person at that point that's a serious redflag at that point, from a history of drug addiction to a bad sexual history to too many tattoos to abusiveness to being a single mom to being a former stripper etc., and yet I'm utterly intolerant of people lying to me, and so if you did seem like it was worth it then you sure as hell don't now. It's a dumb ass gamble to me to be making but I'm assuming because it actually works more often than not is why women keep pathologically lying so damn much, because they know full well the average guy, once he's having sex with her, is pretty much going to be too blinded to do anything at that point and so they expect it can just be some fight and go to bed when he finds out. It's like they completely disregard all the future consequences and is, quite frankly, the reason why people say things like a history of drug addiction, tattoos, and bad credit are so much of a big character flaw, is because it shows the complete lacking of foresight, and that's the perfect examplar of this, is basically lying through your teeth to a guy to get your foot in the door and then only to have him find out later and letting it all implode. So the thing is, this may work for a time, but you're also destined to run into guys like me who are actually willing to work with you on this if you're one of those rare utterly compelling people, but it all goes out the window the moment I find out you were lying. Lying is hands down worse than cheating. It's literally the worst thing you possibly can do about a relationship, and I see it all the damn time. This seems to be way more common with certain types of women though, and I'm thinking of ones that don't have any tattoos or drug addiction or criminal past and come off as "preppy" types, but are some of the ones so used to pathologically lying to men that they'll lie about damn near everything. I'd rather be with a woman who has a lot of tattoos and take a chance on her or a former heroin addict, than ever tolerate someone who's lying to me.
With respect, what evidence do you have for *any* of your claims? How do you know that promiscuous women lack ‘morals’ and ‘self-respect’? This is a bold claim and without evidence you come across as a prude.
@@thefuturist8864 Observing people for 50 years, reading books, articles, etc.. I don’t have time to try and dig up some research for you. If a woman has no problems with hookups, sleeping with a guy within an hour or less of meeting for the first time, threesomes, sleeping around, etc. It’s not going to take much for them to cheat if they are upset with their boyfriend or husband… Also, note that I said ‘generally’ I realize there may be the exceptions. Though, even if they were capable of being faithful, I would not want to be with someone that has been sleeping around with a lot of people for essentially sport or hobby, with a high body count. No thanks, not the sort of woman I would be interested in. Maybe you don’t think there is anything wrong with that sort of lifestyle, idk. To each their own.
@@thefuturist8864 No it's just the truth and it's how we all see it. We may not say it, not to you, not to your face, but this is how the majority of everyone thinks and feels and we're right to do so. Not acting like a total slut doesn't make us "a prude." You just got raised wrong and have bad values and poor character leading you to making bad choices that I'm sure were substance fueled too, especially by alcohol. I'm sorry that we all lied to you and each other as a society, but it's not ok, and it never was ok to sleep around. Being promiscuous means a complete lack of any self respect, yes, and speaks volumes about personal boundaries, personal values, character, and integrity. It says this person just doesn't take sex seriously and so you can't take her seriously as a wife. Given there are pretty big consequences for all this, you should never marry a woman like that without a prenup, and even then you're putting your kids' welfare on the line for a woman who's got a proven track record not even to give a shit about maintaining integrity with sex. Moreover sexual promiscuity is a serious marker for a wide variety of mental illnesses. It includes the cluster b personality disorders, manic episodes, and substance use disorders, among other things. The fact you literally not only see nothing wrong with outright promiscuity but that you even go so far as calling people who don't sleep around "prudes" speaks volumes and I feel bad for you. You probably do not yet know or admit to yourself then the way others really are seeing you and treating you, and haven't yet come to terms with the fact you're not being seen as wife material by anybody. No man with actual resources is going to do anything but fuck around with a loose girl and then eventually abandon her. This is because promiscuous women centrally cannot be trusted and are often disloyal, which is where the real problem lies, and why they're absolutely atrocious for any man wanted to have a family and a marriage, because they're the worst bet possible like marrying active drug addicts in terms of maintaining a healthy and stable environment for raising children.
@@thefuturist8864If a woman will give her body to just anyone, then that is all the evidence that you need to know that she doesn’t have respect for herself and doesn’t see herself as too valuable for just anyone to easily get.
I never saw body count as an issue when I was younger, but now in my 40's I've gotten a really good real life look at how damaging it can be in the long term. Every single girl I knew in my youth who used to sleep around, 100% of them, are currently single, divorced, unable to maintain a relationship, and most have kids with multiple partners. Not a single one of them managed to stay in a long term committed relationship. Most if the girls that weren't like that have been married for many years and have good, stable families. A woman's ability to pair bond starts to erode at 5 sexual partners, and by the time they hit 10 it's almost completely gone. If you are with a woman with a high body count there is an almost zero percent chance the relationship will last long term, and you shouldn't waste your time trying to make it work.
Met an eastern european girl about 14 years ago. I was the 10th guy. She was a serious girl, I couldn't keep up. Wanted to get married at 22. We broke up, dated another guy for a month or so, didn't sleep with him, met another guy that she married and has been married ever since. 3 kids. So 10 parteners is not really that much in today's standard. She cared for me as well. Cheers.
Actually those are the scientifically supported FACTS. Five is pressing it, ten is past the point of no return. The psychological studies have been done. The results are a matter of record.
I discussed "Body Count" with my wife and even she had a hard time understanding why it disgusts men. So I offered her this example: You meet a friend in a coffee bar and your friend hands you a large latte'. As you go to drink, you notice various color lipstick stains on the cup indicating multiple people have been using that same cup recently. Would you still drink out of that cup? Or would you be disgusted and pass? I bet you would pass. Well, that's how it is with a guy who finds out the person he is dating is sleeping with other guys at the same time. It totally puts him off that other men have been there first. If it was a long time ago, then that is one thing. But if it happened in the recent past, (a month or less) then that is a completely different story. There is probably a biological reason for this because the same thing happens in nature. A dominant male deer (buck) generally has a harem and will fight to the death if any other buck tries to mate with his females. It's inherent in male thinking. We don't know why nor can we explain it, but the feeling is real and very powerful.
Does your wife have a high body count herself? She's got to understand too that the more bodies a woman has, the less likely she will bond to one particular man, and she will always subconsciously compare you to the other guys she's been with.
Nature or not, this is wrong for women. Men don't like women. Like this animal who has a harem. Do you think he love them ? No he is just selfish. Which woman is happy in a harem ?.😂 we have a spirit not like animals. So get over this biological instinct
There is also the spiritual aspect in that it is a union of spirits. Each additional union you have with others you carry some part of their spirit which you can pass on to future unions with someone else.
Personally I have found women who were promiscuous after a certain point were unable or struggled to create a monogamous relationship lasting any significant time. They were always at first happy about the new relationship and then as the realities of day in day out life intruded on their relationship and it lost its newness they started looking for reasons to breakup. The reasons were usually simple and petty, "He does text me back as soon as I text him, He comes home tired often from work, he wants to eat at home and does not want to go out several times a week,.... Basically they do not want to be in a relationship that has lost its freshness aka its bloom. Yet when asked about their earliest relationships they were committed to them and when things became a problem they were determined to work them out and sustain the relationship. But as they became more and more promiscuous they found themselves having more and more "Disposable" relationships. This ranged from being with a man for up to a month to a single day. Most of these relationships centered around what their partner did for them. A sad ending to a woman who could have been a giving and supporting partner in a relationship instead of a parasitic member from day one. Now add to this the promiscuous woman who depended upon abortion to allow them to have unprotected sex with a casual hookup. This first and foremost breed into them a casualness of disposable life in regards to a fetus. Secondly they present themselves as a hotbed where a STI/STD can be planted and passed onto other partners. For me when I seek to enter into a relationship it is not for one and done. So when I meet a woman and she has a string of previous partners my first thought is how is this woman broken, Then I wonder whether her history includes Sexual Transmitted Diseases, what is the risk to me as a potential partner? Then I look at her morals, has she had an abortion thru not having protected sex or being on birth control? As a person that believes that abortion is murder this is a serious issue for me. When I find these things out this woman almost instantly switches from possible to no thank you mam. I have one thing on this earth that is the most valuable thing to me. My Time! I do not mind spending money on a woman who I am dating. But to find out I have wasted time on someone incapable of a sustainable relationship or who has opened themselves upto STDs or has killed her own fetus, that is time just pissed away like beer thru a drunks kidneys useless. My time is finite and I spend it judiciously until I find that woman that I want to be my partner. I do not require a beauty queen or someone made up to the nines and with styled hair and artistically done fingernails, (I actually prefer my woman without makeup so I can see the real her.). I am happy to have a plane jane who does not stand out in the crowd. She only has to be real and willing to devote herself to me as I am willing to devote myself to her. Someone who is looking for that onetime longtime permanent relationship. I have turned down more womens offer of a night in their arms than I care to think about. I want to know a woman intimately before I lay down with her. To know her wants and needs and yes aspirations. So Body Count is a high standing benchmark for me with women because it usually points to other traits that tell me this is not the woman I am looking for.
@@sarahrobertson634promiscuity effects women more than men, and more women are promiscuis than men are, you are more likely to find a virgin man or a man with low body count than you are to find a woman
Even as a teenager looking for love, I knew I had to have a virgin GF. High school heuxes were out of the question. Even nice girls who I knew had lost their virginity were not acceptable. It took a while but I met my wife in community college. Junior high and high school was a zoo. One semester in college and I met a good girl. Been married 31 years and have three grown kids, looking forward to retirement.
Men are considered as "keys." Women are considered as "locks." A key that can open many locks is considered as a "Master Key. A lock that is opened by any key is considered as "Broken."
Nice one! …There were two cannibals in a feeding frenzy over a clown. Suddenly, one cannibal stopped eating and said to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
The problem is parenting. I was an abused child and never had the "sex" talk with either of my biological parents. Now I have 2 kids of my own and I am making sure that they both understand that casual sex is not acceptable. There has to be accountability. Sex is not just 2 people engaged in a form of mutual masturbation. It is an act of love and child conception. I don't know if im going so far as to make it religious and say that it has to be reserved for after a wedding. But, it means more then just hooking up at a bar. There has to be love, and commitment.
0:35 see at first I thought I didn't care, until my ex fiance started telling me stories of her past. Then, I started feeling a literal disgust in my stomach fhe more I heard about different guys. Then I realized, I care; I just hadn't thought about it. When your body makes you physically sick from the thought of the person you want to marry sleeping around in the past and racking up bodies, then you should listen to your body. I didn't choose to care, I just instinctively do. Also, sti's and std's are definitely more prevalent now than 20 years ago
This is what ive tried to explain before, that its instinctual to feel disgusted by this. It's not personal, just that we evolved to be this way, and we cant just turn that off.
@MBEG89 yea, exactly. Girls act like it's a conscious choice we make and decide when for most guys it's a natural response, not even a thought just a literal disgust
I absolutely agree. If you're a man who abstains from this behavior because you know just how damaging it can be to women it hits really hard when you find out she's previously slept around. Part of us intrinsically knows, even though it's not on the forefront of our minds, that she isn't going to be as satisfied with the guy that comes later on. Sex is something both parties don't start out being great at so it's something people should learn together one time, in the context of marriage in my opinion.
This guy I knew gave this girl herpes. He was at a bar one night when the woman came in. She announced to the bar that Hector had given her herpes. No sex for you anymore dipsh!t, got to leave town. He was murdered in his barn one night.
Above 5, a woman's bodycount becomes the single most common factor in failed marriages. I once heard somebody say that sex is as much a spiritual act as a physical one. Every time you have sex with somebody new you leave a little piece of your soul with them and they leave a tiny piece of theirs with you. You destroy your ability to form a deep, intimate connection with the next person everytime you have sex with someone new. This is even true for men, but it impacts women much more strongly than men. Which makes sense considering how often women LOVE going on about spiritual/pseudo-spiritual crap. Crystals, astronomy, etc, etc. Women connect to that stuff much more readily than men do.
‘You leave a little piece of your soul with them’? What a load of nonsense. Sex isn’t a ‘spiritual’ endeavour; it’s two (or maybe more!) people mutually enjoying each other’s bodies. If you’re going to dismiss women’s ideas about ‘spirituality’ as ridiculous, maybe take a look at your own as well.
@@thefuturist8864 So much cope. Rockin' a nice high bodycount there, huh? You can't un-ring the bell so just cope harder. Gaslight harder. That'll make it all better. It actually applies to men too, yanno. The threshold is higher, but a man's ability to form a meaningful bond with any one woman also drops off as that bodycount climbs. Doesn't muchmatter if you want to explain it away spiritually, scientifically, or all of the above. The stats remain the stats. No amount of cope or denial will change that. Math is kinda ruthless like that. Good luck. Really. It's not...impossible...to form a meaningful connection with a high bodycount. Highly improbable...but not impossible. I guess. So good luck. Word of Advice. The first step to getting out of the hole is always the same no matter what: Stop digging.
When I re-entered the dating market body count was important. But, I also wanted to know the reason for the break up of her relationships. I met a woman who seemed perfect for me. She had girls the same age as my boys and other things similar that made me interested. But, when she told me she just got tired of her husband I saw red flags. If the break up was not her fault like if the guy she was with was a cheater or an abuser I gave her a chance. So body count and the reasons for the break up were both important to me.
These issues are completely predictable now. She was 19, I was 22. Our families knew each other and we were in a committed relationship since she was 15. She willingly slept with her friends brother on a sleep over when she was 13 and had one other sexual boyfriend before me. She drank to excess, not remember things and was mentally and physically abusive. I remember pulling her out of many bad situations. It ended with her getting drunk, starting a fight and storming off down the beach in Mexico. She ended up throwing herself at and sleeping with a guy she barely knew. I’m 50 and retired, she’s divorced (from that same guy). Point is, I’m sure she cheated on me many times over, just as she cheated on her X. I could have asked her to do any number of immoral things back then. I never asked. You can’t fix what’s set in stone.
Body count matters more than any other single consideration when deciding whether to commit to a woman. It's a heuristic for 20+ relevant factors: 1. Her psychological and biochemical ability to form lasting pair bonds. Studies show a strong correlation between a woman's number of sexual partners and infidelity or divorce. Women with high body counts, unlike men, get desensitized to dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin, making it difficult for them to feel genuine lasting love and loyalty. 2. Her need for novelty and how easily she gets bored in a long-term monogamous relationship. 3. Her need for male attention and validation. 4. Her impulse control and ability to practice delayed gratification. 5. Her general outlook on life and her priorities. 6. Her morals. 7. Her level of trauma from prior relationships and sexual encounters. 8. Her potential for being a good mother and role model for our future daughters. 9. The chances of her having an STD (one in four girls have one.) 10. The chance of her having a roster (yuch) and you just being one of many guys on that roster. 11. The possibility of losing sexual access in the future if she suddenly decides to switch to some other man. 12. The degree to which she is dating opportunistically, monkey branching from man to man, chasing materialistic wealth and status. 13. Her self-respect and her concept of what a relationship should be. 14. The likelihood of her still having active male friendships while dating you. 15. A party lifestyle: A high number of past sexual partners could also be an indication that she has a very active social life, going to parties, night clubs, etc., where she dresses provocatively, effectively making herself available to other men. Her friends also likely share this lifestyle and will continuously influence her choices and preferences. This type of lifestyle increases the chances of relationship dissatisfaction and dissolution. 16. The deeply ingrained innate preference in men for youth, fertility, sexual inexperience, chastity, and purity in women to ensure numerous healthy offspring and paternity certainty. This preference is rooted in evolution. 17. Social perception and status: if a woman is unfaithful to a man, he risks losing status in his community. Promiscuous women have a higher chance of causing future financial loss, humiliation, emotional anguish, and loss of social status if their promiscuity causes them to misbehave. 18. The chances of her comparing your sexual performance and sexual chemistry to her past sexual partners. 19. The fact that you'll always know. The mental image of your girlfriend/wife getting plowed by all those men will always gnaw at you. It will fester and grow into resentment. 20. A high body count could also mean that she had her sexual debut at a young age or that she has had past abortions, which can further add to her trauma. 21. The likelihood of past abortions and failed pregnancies and how that potentially changes her outlook on wanting children in the future. 22. Her relationship with her family. Promiscuous girls often have "daddy issues" with abusive, neglecting, or absent fathers. You will potentially have to deal with this family dynamic and her trauma for the rest of your life. Her dysfunctional parents will be your children's grandparents. 23. The chances of her having been on hormonal birth control for years with all the associated adverse side effects (mood swings, endocrine problems, blood clots, cancers, ovarian cycle disruption, libido issues, weight gain, masculinization, altered mate preferences, altered brain chemistry, etc.). Birth control pills elevate progesterone levels and suppress the secretion of gonadotropin-releasing hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone, thereby tricking the body into thinking it's pregnant so that an egg isn't released when it naturally otherwise would be. Studies have shown that women who met their partner while on the pill and later stopped taking it report lower sexual satisfaction and partner attraction compared to those who were not on the pill when they met their partner. 24. The chances of her comparing her feelings with you to an idealized version of how she remembers feeling with a particularly alpha past partner. You should never commit to a girl with a double-digit body count. Imagine a girl who has slept with 22 men. That's two whole soccer teams of men before you came along. What are the odds of you, number 23, being her last? That's disgusting and insane in a historical context. Before the advent of female contraception, such a woman would have had a dozen kids if she had that lifestyle. Female promiscuity and a high body count is an absolute boundary. A woman's class, grace, dignity, purity, innocence, manners, self-restraint, self-respect, and morals are instinctively super crucial for a man when committing to a woman. They are her strongest assets. That woman will be the mother of his children. If she has her ass all over the internet or if she has slept with a bunch of different men, she's not someone you should commit to. Party girls, promiscuous girls, and attention addicts are for non-committed, short-term, no-strings-attached relations only.
Number 1 is definitely correct. In many cases women with high counts have an underlying issue like molestation or they are bi-polar or both, and if they have a eating disorder it's also usually a big red flag of these behaviors as well. Every situation is different as each person is different.
What a lot of men don't realize is, some women's idea of body count ONLY refers to long term/serious relationships. I had a GF say "I've only been with 8 guys." And she was in her mid 50's! She was NOT counting the 1 night stands, the drunk hookups, etc,etc. After we broke up (3 years ago) she's been with at least 4 boyfriends since me. (And let's not count the drunken 1 nighters or hooking up with a guy she THOUGHT liked her! So she's at LEAST averaging 2 guys a year or more. Do the math....Yeah right....
Most women don't count hookups or one night stands, especially as they get older I find out. The deception makes them feel better inside I guess. Once you lie, I tend to not trust anymore, so bye bye...
Put two people together with high body counts, they will always be mistrusting and suspicious of one another. I know of couples like this and they are always accusing each other and checking their phones. Not a comfortable relationship and not a happy one either.
I'm glad you put at number one the ability to commit. This has definitely been confirmed by research. When it first came out (I can't remember which university, but I seem to recall it may have been Canadian) there was a bit of an outcry among feminists who accused the report and the researchers of misogyny. So other research was done, but only confirming the first research. What you did not say, but is also a part of the research - and why it received such opposition from feminism - is that they researched both men and women and found that the ability to pair bond was not as impaired among the men. In other words, when a man feels he has the right partner, he will commit for life unless something happens to cause him to doubt reason for commitment, but this is not the case with women as they are more affected by their past. I absolutely agree, though, that a virtuous woman will want to find an equally virtuous man. It doesn't affect her as much as hypergamy (which is not something I complain about because it would be as stupid as complaining that a cloudless sky is blue) but it's right up there.
When I was recently out of school i found myself attracted to a homely coworker (she was in the main office i working remotely not us together in the same room) i found out we had the exact same work schedule and lived near eachother and I felt i didn't deserve a "princess" so i asked her out to receive a big no. After a long time talking she said she would have been glad to call me her boyfriend up until she discovered the carousel in college. "My standards went way up, and, unless he's built like a hockey player...i just can't (get excited)" (she was chubby then and a walrus now) (Koo-koo kachu lol). I realized then that once a woman has been with a bunch of guys she is now forever into the most hunky only. She wasn't the only one to prove the point. Had close hot female friends who over time spilled the beans that each partied with hotshot guys and they instantly lost the ability to see average guys like myself as worth anything.
I've found the same, but in reverse. I'm not that tall at 5ft 8in but I'm well-built. It's very obvious that I've been working out for years. Women assume from looking at me that I have a harem I go around in rotation and it's clear they wish to join it. They never did this with me before I hit the gym a few years ago. They're disappointed when I tell them I don't do anything with women. They'd rather share me with other women than anything monogamous with a single guy.
Omg u hit the nail on the head on all counts. Having been in a relationship with a girl with an exceptionally high body count..I concur on all 5. Great job and thank u for the insight!
For me it isn't just body count. It's the circumstances. I'll give an example: I met a girl at 21 with 3 previous partners. A 2yr boyfriend age 18-20 (obvs no problem), at 20 a guy who she slept with a couple of times after nights out as part of their group with no intention of dating him (bit skanky but no major deal) then a final one that really repulsed me. A guy who was the friend of her friend's date. She didn't want to go out with him, but they had a sex arrangement. After nights out on a weekend they'd have sex, but the part that really repulsed me was this: he'd pick her up from work on her dinner hour, bang her in the car then drop her back off at work. Her colleagues knew. He'd also pick her up from the road near her parents house (where she lived), have sex with her down a nearby dirt track (didn't even take her home) then drop her back near her parents house once they'd done. The whole thing just left me thinking "if she was so cheap to him, why would I consider anything long term. She's set her price for intimacy to the world- absolutely 0. No hope of commitment, respect, not even a date or even a bed. Just an hour in his car down a dirt track". I'd rather have a woman with 15 previous relationships than that. It really repulsed me.
Funny you would mention STDs, probably the single greatest reason I have consistently refused casual opportunities is this, I’ve travelled all over the world and into areas where sex could be bought for next to nothing, but wasn’t even tempted because of the risk. I’m an “almost” teetotaller, by choice, I get up early and exercise, I don’t like hangovers, I don’t like loss of control, I don’t like the damage alcohol has been proven to do, so clubs, pubs or bars aren’t my preferred venue. I’ve never heard of the “re-wire” hypothesis, I’d be interested in a citation. My sneaking hunch is a high body count is indicative of a very damaged self image with a lowish intelligence or psychiatric issues and that I wouldn’t probably be attracted to the type anyway. I realised some time ago, my type are all in happy long term relationships and not on the market, I missed the window.
In my opinion, body count not only tells you about that person's choices and judgement, but also about what they think of, and how they value, relationships. The higher the count, the lower the value I would think they would see in a relationship. A high count may also indicate low faithfulness, and easily getting bored with things that are the same, as well as general impulsiveness. Not something I would want in the woman I am looking to be my wife, the manager of my household, and the mother of my children. The worst case would be they're just interested in a transaction, not a relationship, and they'll discard and replace you as soon as they think they've rung you dry. If a woman is in her 20s or 30s and her body count resembles her age, she might have a 'discard and draw' mentality, meaning she's more likely to discard you to draw her next. Sometimes they have multiple partners at once. You just never know. A woman with a high body count could easily lie about it, but she'll give herself away in the way she acts. Question is how fast.
Same goes for men . The exact same reasons men give for not wanting a woman with a high body count apply to them also . Stop making excuses , men with high body counts also have the same issues in the list in this video. It’s enough that a man should be able to say that don’t like a high body count. You don’t need any reasons . They all sound hypocritical anyway .
My reasons: 1. Lack of shared values. I'm a Christian and a virgin. 2. Sharing the love of my life with someone disgusts me. 3. More bodies means more emotional and spiritual baggage and weakened ability to pair bond physically. 4. A sign of discontentment and hypergamy in a person. 5. Bad role model for our children. 6. Loss of innocence. I'm attracted to innocence. 7. Lack of foresight and bodily control. 8. Selfishness. 9. I just think sleeping with lots of people is gross. 10. Not attracted to easy women. 11. Might be an indicator of liberal or socially progressive politics. 12. Lack of personal accountability, especially if they don't see anything wrong with it.
You sound awfully immature and insecure. Don’t worry it’ll pass probably sometime in your mid to early 20s so don’t worry just focus on graduating middle school for now, kiddo!
Just letting you know this so it doesn't come as a surprise, only 3% of women actually wait for marriage to have sex, only 3%, so when a women tells you she is waiting for marriage to have sex, is more likely she means, she will only have sex with you if you marry her, but she will be having sex with other random dudes.
im a 42 year old man and from experience a woman with a high body count ends in disaster. But the part that hurts me if since coming to Christ Jesus, and now im divorced, i am in search of a woman with a low body count bc it does mean alot to me. Pair bonding i think is that number 1 reason but i would be a hypocrite bc i myself have slept with around 30 women in my life and i regret it highly :( I just want a high valie, low body count woman with Christian morlas and values that I cna rasie a family with obviously connect with. being 42, its very hard to find a lets says 35 year old woman who loves God, has no kids and has a low body count.
I agree. I broke up with my ex due to her number and how she acted by just asking a simple question. I had no shame in telling her it was 2 and it took teeth pulling for her to tell me about her 18. It wasn't the number that fully turned me off but how she responded and overall attitude. Fast forward to being in my 30s now. She has 3 baby fathers now and produce 5 kids. So I may have dodged a bullet. These days if I choose try to meet someone, I make it a point to ask them their count along the way. Just a personal preference.
I had a woman tell me 6 one time. It was more like 50. And my sister's ex husband just happened to be one of them. She married a truck driver before I dated her, and 1 week to the day before she was to be married to that guy, she put on full makeup, her wedding dress and went and f'd another guy wearing everything she would 1 week later wear to her wedding. Women with high body counts are evil. They simply do not care about how anyone but them feels.
Believe it or not this is a huge problem at schools, we cannot send out letters to "the parents" anymore because caregivers and single mothers are the majority now. Those 5 kids sooner or later end up being looked after by family while she goes out clubbing. I'll never forget the one mom drunk out of her mind sleeping in her car in the parking lot during the day with a bottle of wine still in her hand.
One woman blurted out to me pretty much out of nowhere over dinner that she'd had 7 partners. Oh, OK I thought. I suspect it's many, many more than that from what she'd done me of her wild party life from her early teens and that she's got 2 kids from 2 baby daddies. No, I didn't ask her out, we'd been on a day out with others at a demo and needed food at the end of a long day.
@@EE12CSVT She didn't finish the thought. 7 partners. She wants you to assume it is 7 total. But it could be 7 this year, 7 this month, 7 this week... Or some of these women go hard now, 7 at once...
Main reason (your last reason) is that high body count means a greater likelihood of a woman conditioning herself to wear emotional armour in relationships to avoid getting hurt. Over time, this turns into a lack of an ability to form deep and stable long term emotional bonds (affects the release of the bonding hormone which is essential for long term monogamy / commitment). In short this is why women leave men if they don't get attention from them all the time (a requirement to work late for more than a few days / drama from in laws or close friends requiring the hubby to spend more time with them can trigger separation / cheating without a strong bond). Without a deep emotional connection, women will only stay with their man if they are getting what they need at all times / and will be much less willing to sacrifice if the hubby's situation requires it at the time. Modern divorce law incentivises separation / divorce for women and has created a culture that if you have put in time with a guy that entitles you to choose to dump the guy and force him to support you and your kids for the rest of your life, often permanently ruining his finances and stopping him from being able to afford another family despite losing access to his kids in the divorce. These guys (unless they are very wealthy) often live very crappy depressing lives alone and sometimes choose to die early as a result. Only defense a guy has is the strength of the emotional bond, it is everything.
As an afterthought, wanted to mention: I have friends who have gone through the divorce with kids thing, never ends well for the guy and leaves the guy a shell of himself. Those of us who have seen it, it leaves an impact.
You’re thinking proximally though. The actual ultimate technical reason is that’s it’s a psychological adaptation. It’s an instinct that helps men deal with paternity uncertainty. It’s basically part off the male variant of sexual jealousy.
"Women will only stay it they have what they needs all the time" : yeah and they are RIGHT. Yes its hurts when its not only about your selfish needs right ? Men are too used to have their needs first... Relationship is also about women needs. Glad the experience helps women to open their eyes. Deal with it.
@@danslavallee Male needs are very small in comparison to female needs... females are top consumers, lifestyle seekers, not mentioning hypergamous nature etc... And if you check singles nowdays, women being able to live like an adult (working and taking care of own bills, repairs, changing tire) is HUGE accomplishment, however for man it's basic expectation.
This is why in Proverbs 31 it says that the Virtuous Wife does good to her husband ALL the days of her life. She saves herself for him even before they meet.
Well, the problem with that is that the French girl that I sleep with and I would have been a distant memory if things had been done_your_ way. We met in a train station and she was with another boy. Now, the other boy was guarding her like a pigeon. I swooped in like a hawk and I grabbed her out from under him. The other boy is now the distant memory and the squab caught the worm - - so to speak. To my thinking, girls, today, should just find a boy they like and make babies with him. Don’t over think it. Over thinking reproduction is causing the population to crash and burn. All these so-called great people are not being re-produced. I’m not saying that couples shouldn’t be devoted to their families. I’m just saying that passion (..and a baby) has to come, first. The problem today is less about finding devoted boys than finding girls that know what love is.
I don't want to be disrespectful to anybody, few offensive men have told me that when man deposits his seeds in the women it effects her "biologically" and remains in her body all their life. They also said the higher the body count the less she will hold on to long-term relationships. I do not agree with these statements.
Its honestly simple, high body count means no self respect. This goes for men too. You're self indulgent and are a slave to your desire, that makes a bad life partner.
I made a bad life partner before I was honest with myself about my need for sex. I am very strongly motivated by sex and pursuing qualities that would make me sexually attractive such as being fit, pulling a good paycheck, and not being a drunken need scrimping by off my parents, and the government have vastly improve my life for the better, including my relationships with other people. Motivation and sobering up getting fit and finding a job was to get laid more, but it ended up not only getting me laid, but making my life vastly better and making me a much better man in the process. Quit your prudery.
@Mortablunt Maybe you're unusual? Just because you cleaned up your act to attract women doesn't necessarily mean you've become a good partner. Are you now in a loving LTR? How long for?
Hi, Em. I'm a man who doesn't really care about a woman's body count (this will depend on her psychology/personality, of course). One point you forgot to mention is the man's sexual confidence. A man will be unable to help wondering how he compares to a woman's previous lovers if he knows her body count is high. My sexual confidence is already extremely high. Therefore, I have a pretty good Idea how I stack up, since most dudes *ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT EVERYTHING* from foreplay to aftercare.
I think this is a good point. I think masculinity requires knowing she's inexperienced. To my mind, it's just because it's the dominant role. Not because it hurts his feelings, but because he can't play a confident game in that context.
It only matters for a long term relationship. Someone with 12 jobs over the past year isn't a good candidate to hire. Either they were getting fired or kept quitting.
I never ask, and I don’t wanna talk about it. There are two main reasons. The first is, of course, the high likelihood that a woman’s sexual history is not completely consensual. She shouldn’t be punished or judged for being victimized. The second is that some women regret their behavior in the past, and want to change. Why reject someone who is trying to change, because you’re unable to see them as anything more or different than who they were in the past? It’s not about the number; it’s about who she is when she is with you.
One vitcms dont get judged thats a whole thing on its own next i dont care is she is has changed she is not right for me i will wish her egood luck and good bye
What a challenging situation that we have currently in the world as men. I met a woman for a first date that had slept with multiple men. She admitted it and wore it like a badge. I was appalled and shocked. I said, to her, after dinner that I wish her luck and promptly left. I just want an honest and low body count woman that respects her body and her boundaries. Not the barfly and “ho” attributes that many present.
Interesting topic, Emily... One thing not mentioned is the space between relationships with the ladies... I've noticed many pretty girls are almost never without a man. Many men, however might go for years between relationships. How does one heal in-between when there's no in between??? Hence the cumulative damage within the female psyche...
As someone whos been with a couple very high body counts, theres a reason it didnt work out. Yes I got very hurt but I learned so much because of it, it was worth it for the wisdom I gained. Best piece of advice I can give is when she tells you her number (multiply x3) and if those red flag alarms are sounding in your head and its wrenching your gut, follow them and run away. Both were a very dysfunctional relationship, in the back of my mind the whole time was disgust, resentment towards them, at times it would turn me off during sex, then I let it eat away at my confidence and esteem level "shes had bigger/better than me, etc". A very unhealthy mentality to develop. And since those things happened in my life I will not give a high body count wahman a second of my time no longer. Being a 304 doesnt turn me on. Purity and virtue does.
When someone seems prone to looking for love in all the wrong places, it’s a real concern whether they will be able to succeed in a healthy long-term monogamous relationship.
Having been raised in catholic no sex before marriage environment I grown to hate it. I was thinking it makes no sense. But then seeing women that do not enjoy family evenings and exoect husband to take her dancing all night frequently - I become suspicious. What you're saying makes absolute sense, despite religion having similar view. It's reasonable and facts based. Having body count of only 2 in my 40s no longer is an issue for me. I am loyal, what can I say..
I really wish I could go back in time and say no one last time. And head off that entire sequence of events in my life. And quit smoking and drinking back then to find someone who was truly worth marrying, and losing my vriginity to my wife, as I'd originally planned. I'm not giving people one single damn chance at all anymore. *No one* is getting into my life and I'm not listening to what *anybody* else has to say to me at this point after the last couple decades of complete bullshit. What I could've done best is completely ignoring everything anyone else had to say about anything and sticking to my guns instead.
u dont have the adamages to yoru ability to emottionaly bond due to seggsual liberalism, because because ur a man... it takes more phsycal intimayc with the same woman to become emotionally attached to one of the women. for women, it happens quikcly, which is why its more common in women doing the same stuff.
Fun fact: religion figured out a lot of practically useful things thousands of years before science did. Like washing your hands. The myths may not be exact, but the lessons are still useful.
perspective as a man: If a woman is difficult to get when she's single, she will be impossible to get when she's married. That doesn't mean deliberately try to be difficult, just the dating process is the difficulty enough for men. When men see that a woman is easy to get when she's single that means there could be a chance she will cheat in a relationship.
Ok, there are 2 separate considerations here, a man who just wants to hook up, or a man who really is looking for marriage. For a man who is just looking to hook up, body count means nothing. For a man who is looking for marriage there is NOTHING more important than body count. Here are the reasons why: 1.) marriage will fail if a woman has been around too much because she'll never be satisfied. 2.) men are disgusted by disease ridden saloon prostitutes, modern women are worse than that. 3.) Men want to experience everything with their spouse for the first time, all relationship things, not just bedroom. 4.) Men want to build a life with an inexperienced woman. Basically, if you are an 18 year old virgin, all men will want to marry you. If you are a modern woman, all men will play with you, but be disgusted about the notion of marrying you.
Any man with any degree of self respect cares about body because down the road we want to make a family and it's a helluva lot easier to raise a family when a woman is a good role model.
I think the role model thing is overhyped because unless the wife tells your daughter “I slept with a bunch of men that never loved me and you should too”, there is no way for your daughter will ever find out her mother’s body count. Even if the mother did sleep around in the past, she’s probably not going to tell her children that and there’s a really good chance she regrets it and is maybe ashamed of it.
A ‘good role model’ is someone who makes their own choices and encourages others to do the same. Merely having a ‘high body count’ doesn’t mean that a person (female or male) was a passive agent in the encounter, and there are plenty of people (again, female or male) who have made chosen an active and varied sex life.
I used to think this subject didn't matter much when I was younger, but I grew to realize a few things. One of them being, it isn't as much about what the woman is like afterwards. It is more about what she isn't like, and it is about exclusivity. That starts with virtue. Virtue isn't simply a matter of cleanliness or innocence. Some women think they simply wash themselves clean and the problem is gone, or God forgives them, and so should their eventual life partner, so then they are counted as clean and innocent, and the problem is gone. However, it isn't that simple, and here is why. We have a longing that never goes away for something to be uniquely ours, if we feel like it isn't somehow. I don't prefer to compare people to inanimate objects, but unfortunately there aren't many alternatives, and they have enough of a similarity to still be useful and applicable. I like to compare it to having a home that was custom built for you, with you being the first and only owner, and occupier, and comparing that with buying a home previously owned and occupied by someone else. This seems to indicate that it is simply a matter of cleanliness, but here is how it isn't, since humans have dynamics that inanimate objects don't. When it comes to human experiences, there is no cleaning away memories or feelings, and how each experience changes you as a person. Things rarely ever feel like they do the first time you do them, ever again. This isn't simply a sexual thing either. If you compared a woman to puzzle, men want to solve their wife's puzzle, not pick up the broken pieces, and find the missing pieces, that are scattered to the wind, or feel like we are left longing for the pieces she will never let us see. This may be due to old wounds she is reminded of, or it could be shame, or old feelings she doesn't want to feel. It isn't a matter of solving the puzzle to manipulate the woman either, which some would immediately think. It is about getting the opportunity to experience for the first time, what a woman likes and doesn't like, sharing those feeling with her when she does, as opposed to her and Chad having an incomplete and cheap thrill, that ruins things thereafter. There is something to be said for the bond that develops between two people that results from being uniquely and exclusively each other's. If a virgin man marries a former 304 and he wants to experience all of the things he possibly could and enjoy his partner in every way, but she is unwilling or reluctant to, already knowing what she wants and doesn't want, and all he is left with is what she wants or is willing to try, it leaves him feeling want and like he is robbed. I truly believe this could be a catalyst for a man to either want a divorce or even to cheat, because he feels so robbed. Also, if a woman truly feels that getting to experience her lustful fling with Chad is so important and that he is too cute to resist, how is settling for the beta male later in life, so that her immediate needs are met, ever going to TRULY satisfy her? To me, this is a catalyst for her to cheat or seek validation and confidence through someone else, where the grass is perhaps greener. Why should a reasonable man accept a life with a woman that he feels he can't truly satisfy, since she didn't get what she wanted, and he doesn't live up to that standard? How can he have any self-respect, if he feels he is a used, cheap alternative, and he does it anyway because, his only other options are loneliness or a woman that he doesn't really want to look at? That is a tough pill to swallow for a man, that he shouldn't be forced to swallow. This is exactly what happens when women decide to shop themselves around. Frankly, it is a slap in the face that was never deserved. Life itself has plenty of other cold, cruel realities to slap us in the face, without that being added on. Unless he is a total cuck, men have no interest in playing second fiddle to another guy, when it comes to women. I think that is hard for women to wrap their minds around, past seeing it exclusively in a sexual context and that problem simply doesn't go away, as long as she isn't having a relationship with both of men at the same time. Truthfully, we never stop relating our experiences with someone, to another situation. There is nothing like being punished in a relationship, for what your spouse's ex did to them. Believe me I know. If you think men are superficial for wanting a woman they really want to look at and appreciate looking at, ask yourself if it makes for good conversation, if you don't really want to look at the person or truly enjoy it? Also, do you want to be with someone who doesn't truly think you are beautiful, and he simply settled for you, since it is all he could get? This also applies to your heart and mind, not just your face, that will one day wrinkle and sag. DO you think a man wants to look at a wrinkly face he never really preferred to look at in the first place? Do you? If after reading this, if you think that I think it is ok for men to hoe around, please go back and try to reread it. Hopefully you fully understand afterwards.
Men understand the difference between Vanity and Virtue in our society. However the cultural sexual lifestyle of Eskimos and other isolated tribes, indicates that the body count issue is non-existent primarily because vanity does not exist and virtue means sharing ones woman or women to ensure livability of the tribe.
@@JandiFebie , thankfully our survivability doesn't interfere with my morals or my unwillingness to share my spouse. I am still wondering why you mentioned an outlier, as if it should justify what is otherwise filthy behavior, spreading disease and destroying family structure. If it was to one up my conclusion, you failed. If it was to strike up a conversation, I already spoke my peace.
Biggest issue with me would be baggage, and you can have that regardless of body count. Having spent the past 40 something years with the daughter of an acloholic...there's a baggage claim full of baggage to parse. I'm pretty sure my wife's body count = 1.
It is a lot easier for a woman to have any guy she wants. The reason we want someone with a low body count are a few: 1) She might have been with a guy who is better, stronger, taller and Bigger D. We don't want to compete with that. 2) She could mess around with anyone on the side and have a kid and pin it on the current boyfriend. 3) We want to feel like we matter. A woman that is only interested in us for the money makes us feel like we are just a wallet and not someone deserving of attention and acceptance. Too many women bash on guys. One has to have the courage to go up to a woman, and that fear goes up the more attracted the man is towards that woman. It is crushing when a woman looks you up and down and flatly rejects you in an offensive manner. We are just tired and don't want to put up with all this shit. All the games. How can a man feel different or special when a woman has already been around. Edit: fixed some spelling errors
Very well said. Pair bonding is a big deal. Loyalty naturally seems lost when people have high body counts. Separating sex from love is the main culprit.
I hate to tell you no girl actually cares about dick size only men do to be honest a small one is a lot more pleasurable in bed just saying just be yourself and find a girl who wants the same lifestyle that you can provide or work together to provide. Honestly all women wanted for a man not to cheat on her that’s basically it we may say different things in public but that really all we really want it maybe you do the dishes after we cook that basically it and I date both men and women because I’m bi so I just thought you should know all that stuff you think that actually matters again and the girl is actually don’t matter if the girls truly loves you when a guy is going to learn that
These types come off as highly critical. They make their kind appear cruel... There is a harvest of reality coming for these types. Not our problem, gentleman...
@@markceci9896 pair bonding is a big deal, but how many guys have an attractive personality that will lead a woman to love them long term for it?? it's such a small percentage of men who have personalities like this.. Women leave men the majority of time because they eventually find him too boring, or they were in a transactional relationship in the first place and were never attracted to him.. I think we use this pair bonding high body count excuse for why relationships fail, when the real reasons a lot of them fail is because of the 2 reasons I said
@michaelangst6078 Actually, you just made my point. Women get bored, and they marry men that they are not attracted to. Or, they marry a "bad boy" and tame him. Men have always adjusted to do what will get them a great wife. We do what they want up to a point. Some men do anything for a woman and will usually bore her away. The men you speak of were old school dominant types or new school simps. Neither works. Find your formula....
When you get right down to it, this is why waiting till marriage was held in such high regard back in the day. But it wasn’t for men, it was for women, because sex affects women more than it does men.
Here is the biggest reason. If you are looking for life partner there is no reason to even attempt a relationship with a high body count person. It is widely known that it is practically impossible for them to pair bond with a person. Time after time these women either cheat or want an open relationship because they cannot bond to a one male and they become unhappy. It is frightening how many women are doing this and i pray that it will eventually seep into our culture how bad this hookup lifestyle is. I don’t understand how getting used for one night over and over is empowering. Even to the single men not looking for a life partner I recommend you avoid these hookup women due to their instability and unwanted drama that they bring with them.
As always, there are these “preferences” that sometimes seem not to matter and some people will simply dismiss, but when you stop to think about it, it’s obvious why they are reasonable.
I am going to apply the Marshmellow experiment to this topic."The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a study on delayed gratification in 1972 led by psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University.[1] In this study, a child was offered a choice between one small but immediate reward, or two small rewards if they waited for a period of time. During this time, the researcher left the child in a room with a single marshmallow for about 15 minutes and then returned. If they did not eat the marshmallow, the reward was either another marshmallow or pretzel stick, depending on the child's preference. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores,[2] educational attainment,[3] body mass index (BMI),[4] and other life measures." The real point here is about delaying gratification as an indicater of possible psychological disorders that impact relationships. The inordinate need for attention and validation coupled with an undisciplined approach to s3xual intimacy ("it's just sex") can lead to an inability to honor agreements of fidelity in relationships. If you listen to enough reddit stories (of which I am guilty of) the classic lines after being caught being unfaithful are "It didn't mean anything!" "We can fix this!" "It was only s3x. I only love you!" "It was a mistake!" The other point I want to make is that this widespread behavior seems to be justified with the notion that all men are promiscuous ignoring that it is quite easy for women to have many partners (gee...is that where the term "easy" in regards to females comes from?) but only the very top 5% of men can approach the double and triple digit body counts. Lastly, your first point about STIs can be expanded on in that women are just more biologically vulnerable to STIs in general....but as you indicated many uniformed think they can all be cured with modern medicine...and that is not true.
There are two types of women, those you have fun with, date, etc... and those you marry; it is beyond me why a woman would chose to be the first rather then the later. Most men have a low body count, only perhaps, the top 1% of men get sex on a regular basis. The normal Joe on the street is sexless a lot of the time. PS: Men also want to ensure paternity which is why paternity test should be mandatory!
Because our society went from having some sort of, call it what you like- standard, expectations, moral, etiquette- what ever, to not having it. Look around in recent society, modern movies, the media talk shows , they all push this idea of buy now pay later, instant gratification, get gain with no pain, no consequences for negative actions, no weaknesses except those you impose on yourself. Mostly all this stuff is aimed at women, i mean look at lead female characters in movies (especially disney, starwars, ) of the last 10 years- take Rae skywalker and compare to say 1970s Ripley. This is an example of why people choose type one in your summary. It’s because society pushes it and sadly they learn its not very good too late. Unfortunately i think the next couple of decades will have a lot of sad people, only really after 10 years now are we seeing a sort of small backlash and fringe counter movement like this channel is one. Everything coming from this channel would have been just common sense 50 + years ago. Now its like controversial
Thank you Emily ! I really appreciate your content. I have learned so much about relationships and human nature from life and it's good to have it confirmed. I tried to "fix" someone for many years (13) before I realized I was there, in the relationship, to grow personally and to learn about early childhood abuse and it's long term affects, one of them being a hard time being in a committed relationship. We both were able to grow some but overall the lack of deep trust could not be overcome. Niether of us could fully trust that the other. High body counts indicate , I think , in many cases some kind of abuse has happened leading to low self esteem, self hate and unhealthy attachment style It's a complex issue that requires dedication to heal from. . I'm 58 and recently found a wonderful woman, 46, who is still learning and growing and we are very happy, it's been a year. Thanks again Emily !
It's not necessarily self hate or self esteem issues either, but yeah it can indicate childhood sexual abuse, as well as severe psychological problems, mental illnesses, behavioral and conduct disorder, criminality, and substance abuse, all of which often go hand in glove with each other. The same is especially true for, frankly, being queer. I don't care how asshurt that makes people feel, you all know it's true, gay guys and bi girls can't commit for shit and usually they have all the previous things from substance abuse to emotional trauma to behavioral issues and lack of impulse control to mental illnesses. I think what, you know what's really the saddest thing though is you sit there and see these people who really do genuinely and sincerely just want someone to love them, but often enough they then go and just fuck right up. And it's like, ok, so why in the fuck would you go out and do that then? Fuck no I don't trust you, you literally just violated someone's trust and then ask why your life is shit, that's why.
Very much on point, it’s difficult to take a woman with a high body count seriously. As men, we risk parting with half of our net worth with divorce and want to invest our resources into a woman who has a vested interest in working things out for the long haul and has a good track record. Would you rather hire somebody who’s had 20 jobs in the past 5 years or somebody who has been with their company for years at a time? Also, listening to a woman we’re considering as a potential mate going on and on about the men who have hurt her in the past and holding space for that lowers our attraction enough by itself to view her as a placeholder until a low body count woman comes along and blows her out of the water
I think #2 is a big one! The more bad relationships and bad breakups a woman has had, the more likely she is to bring unresolved trauma into the next relationship. I actually think this plays a big part of why, at least from a psychological perspective, men prefer younger women. A woman with fewer past partners is less likely to bring past trauma into a relationship and is more likely to have a more positive outlook on relationships and life in general.
SIMPLY PUT: Women are like sticky tape. What? Simple, put sticky tape against the wall, and it will form a very strong bond. Remove the tape and stick it back on the wall, it will stick but not that well. Do that four or five times....a gust of wind can knock it off.
@@Mortablunt 45? Amateur Number. For men, turn out the light, and Pu**y is all the same. Married the virgin girl I dated in college 35 years ago, still married, kids are all outstanding.
@@konstantinosrope-maker1228 Abstaining from sex before marriage is like buying a car based on a walk around the exterior and the salesman's word before you drop $50,000. You wouldn't buy a car on the motivated words for a salesman not even seeing if it meets your needs for performance, comfort, handling, carrying, range and economy for yourself. So why would you marry a woman, spending about $10,000 for the engagement and $40,000 further on the wedding, and on average $15,000 each year in assorted maintenances, gifts, and other expenses without knowing if the key thing a partner brings to your life, intimacy, is right? You have friends for companionship, you can pay people to cook and clean for you, but the special role of your wife is sex. Does she give you sex worthy of about 1/3rd your income? How do you know? And then the average marriage lasts 8 years. That's up to $120,000 after an initial buyin of $40,000. Are you really going to spend $160,000 without even trying something out? Sex isn't everything, but when it isn't right, it's the only thing. A bad sex lif will destroy a marriage. Sooner or later, the partners are either going to stray if they aren't getting that proper satisfaction, or if it's really bad, someone's going to end up feeling they were "raped" and hate their partner. You can solve some issues, like a guy being a prejac, or the girl being frigid. You can't solve incompatible styles, like her needing rough sex to enjoy it, but him wanting slow and gentle lovemaking. Or even worse, someone who only really gets off from something the other person hates, like a girl with awful down there bouquet needing oral to finish. And yes I've lived that. It's a horrible strangling death for a relationship. Not making sure you're sexually right before making a huge and expensive commitment is like buying a house unvisited because the realtor made it sound nice.
Like some people have said it's a disgust thing. I was a virgin when I married my wife. However she had only 1 partner before me. For me the thoughts of sloppy seconds and the thought of some other guy had ejaculated in my wife bugs me every once in a while. We have been married for almost 22 years and the thoughts creep in maybe once or twice a year.
Pretty sure that's just a personal problem and being overly possessive. Aside from a woman's 'cherry' being popped, you would literally never know if she's a virgin or had sex with 100 men by look or by feel. It's all in your head.
I'm no psychologist, but if after 22yrs of marriage these thoughts still bother you, then that's not normal. If you haven;t accepted your wife, warts and all, by now it's going to eat at you. And if (just suppose) you're in an argument and ever throw that at her, that kind of thing is relationship destroying. One previous partner is not a "body count". I'd suggest you ought to speak with someone ( not your wife) about why you feel this way still. This feeling may be masking something else that is bothering you, like hidden jealousy that someone else was her "first" and not you. You need to get this out of your system.
I agree , but it works both ways , otherwise it’s hypocritical. Most men have a body count that would disqualify a woman in their eyes . I agree with all the reasons a woman should have a low body count but most of all it shows a whether a woman respects herself. I believe men have a right to say they just don’t like a high body count in a woman and that is enough . Stop making all these “ reasons “ when they are hypocritical. All those reasons in this list are the same for a man or a woman.
Imagine a man took you on an amazing trip to the Bahamas. Private yacht, snorkling with dolphins, tiki torch lit cabanas while counting the stars, etc. It'd feel pretty special right? Now imagine you're the 20th woman he took on the same trip. Not only does it not feel special anymore, it probably feels creepy and a bit like you've been tricked into a relationship that was never really on offer. Yea, the trip was great, but you'd much rather go with someone who actually cares about you. Also, it's just a disgust reaction. Perhaps an evolutionarily ingrained response to all of the reasons mentioned in the video. But rationalizing why something is gross doesn't make it less gross. The Cleveland Show did a much more vulgar explananation that probably gets the point across more directly.
So you've got a lot of guys here wondering where they could find somebody like you... Not you, just someone who has the insight and experience that you obviously radiate. Maybe a video of helping guys get around/over the girl who is in their face and actually find the right person for them. You can do it boys ♥️ love your work
Women who want to use men gravitate towards men that are easy to use. Be polite to women, but don't do anything extra for them. They will avoid you like the plague once they realize you're not a SIMP and move on to "greener pastures." The only women still talking to you, if any, because they are rare, will be the ones that aren't trying to use you. It is just like with men, the women other men want are the ones that never learn how to treat others, instead of learning how to own up to a mistake or fix and issue, or compromise, they just move on to the next man. Typically, women who grew up in a traditional household, with an active father who isn't a SIMP, learn healthy traits. All the statistics back this up (children raised by single mothers vs children raised by single fathers or both). Unfortunately, a larger percentage of women in the West, are not raised this way. As such, many Western men go overseas, where divorce rates are much lower. It's a good match, kind, Western men matching with kind Eastern women. If you pursue this, do thorough research. There are plenty of women in the East who will take advantage of you as well, if you are clueless. Also, the education system is usually better overseas, and for many of them English is mandatory in school. So, these women are smarter and have better common sense. They also tend to walk everywhere and use less ac in the summer and less heat in the winter, so they are mentally and physically stronger. If you go expecting to find some girl from an anime, you will be made a fool. Best of luck. Be a good person and demand a good person in return.
I’m going to explain this in the simplest way and I’m sorry if this offends anybody. Why men do not want a woman with a body count, The answer is simple when you go into a car dealership do you wanna buy a new car or used one ???
Why do young people nowadays talk about their "body count" in such a casual way? As if they are proud of it. As if they are bragging about their baseball card collection - "I have 17 Pete Rose cards." And why are men admonished to *NOT* care about a woman's high body count, and if they do care that is "anti-woman."
Not that it matters much to me now since I'm happily married, but a high body count suggests impulse control issues and indicates someone who'll likely cheat on me. However, how and when the body count grew also matters. Someone who was the town bike in her early 20s and then spent a few years celibate and reevaluating herself, I would at least consider her, assuming she has dealt with her issues. However, if her body count was still increasing when I met her, then it would be a hard no. Then there's the concern for STIs...ugh.
That's a level headed approach. I think it is all situational and there are just no guarantees either way. People like a safe bet but I know how my libido is and I need someone compatible with that or I will be miserable or need out of the relationship. So balance and discretion is advised. 😂😂😂 Even a gal that is a virgin on your wedding night can one day get to wondering what sex with someone else might be like and I have seen good girls all of a sudden go off on a kick and decide they wanted to try new things. The early thirties and that seven year itch is one that I have personally noticed in my own life experience with women. Whether it is their sexual peak or something else they all of a sudden get real playful and start to wander and test the waters no matter the body count. So I guess the bottom line is do whatever makes you happy and comfortable because there really isn't any such thing as a safe bet in affairs of the heart and time spent with others in the the bedroom.
It very much matters to men. Women are trying so hard to tell us what we want. They convince each other in their little echo chambers that they are right that it convinces the weak men that it doesn’t matter. When women sleep around they don’t pair bond the way they are supposed to.
How would a woman feel about marrying a man with a high body count? What about a man with a high body count and several children out there? What about a man with a high body count, several children out there, and he's eyeball deep in paternity payments so that he has no money left? Yeah, I'm sure that last one was the deal breaker.
@protorhinocerstor142... Not necessarily, I have a coworker who married a girl he pursued for four years... He's paying for two kids from previous situations... She's a stay at home mom, he works two jobs...
@@georgeelder8415 it more than likely won’t work out in the long run. Even if she had a low body count she left the father of her kids. She will leave your friend
Perhaps I was unclear. The guy was a man hoar, I'm not aware of the wife's past. My friend and his wife have a great relationship. She only has kids with him...
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 76 | คู่เอก "ผึ้งหลวง vs สมิงดำ"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9SBshmGQOIM/mqdefault.jpg)
So I married a woman with a high body count. She gave me the impression that it was lower while we were dating but I eventually learned it was much higher. I eventually had to file for divorce because she was unfaithful. This was completely predictable and could have been gleaned from knowing how she conducted herself in her youth.
Look it's not the number but what the number means. It means she can't commit or she can't discern. Meaning she wouldn't know a good man if he was standing in front of her with a choir of Angel's singing hallelujah. She's broken and you can't fix her no matter how hard you try. Believe me I know.
Absolutely correct, it is less about the actual number, and whether or not this woman has the demeanor for a committed relationship. Women with high notch counts are often broken, and while men are natural problem-solvers, there are some problems we are just not able to fix.
You absolutely can fix her. It just requires some things people of our age have been programmed to find "horrible" and "distasteful." Like brainwashing, psychological conditioning, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and general tips/tricks of slavecraft.
So first they took away our ability to fix women when they go awry/bananas, then they crank up the propaganda and make women go nuts. Hmm.... riddle me that one Batman!
Sorry you had to go through that Darren. Hope you can heal from this. God bless 🙌
Veritas
And This Right Here Is The Biggest Mistake Men (And Women) Are Making, We Might Be Natural Problem Solvers But Its Not Our Responsibility To Be Our Woman's Therapist Trying To "Fix" Her. Nor Is It A Woman's Responsibility To Be Our Therapist & "Fix" Us. We Are Draining Ourselves Taking On A Responsibility That Isn't Ours That Nobody Asked Us To Take & If They Did That's A Boundary We Both Need To Learn To Establish & Respect In Our Relationships. If It Can't Be Respected Then We Need To Either Part Ways Peacefully Or Run Like A Bat Outta Hell Depending On The Damage.
There's a disgust factor involved. You can't socially norm men into accepting what disgusts them.
Likewise, most women are repulsed by low-count men.
For men seeking women, low body count = Not likely to cheat. Null and void if the man is just looking for a quick hook up.
For women seeking men, low body count = less valued (by women) and why a man being a virgin well into their 20's/30's is terrified they'll be a virgin forever.
I find promiscuous men disgusting.
Yes you can.
How do you think your current disgusts were created?
@@springerworks002 This one could go deeper, though. Look up why a man's pens is shaped the way it is. This revulsion might be biological.
for those who want a short list:
1: std's
2: her reputation
3: how she spends her time/hobbies and habits
4: Trauma/baggage
5: pair bonding difficulty/relationship satisfaction
Although I would also add the possibility of paternity fraud
Absolutely. We’ve all seen the Maury Povich shows!
I think you hit the nail on the head bro.💯🙏🇬🇧
Let’s face it, all of the above apply to men too. Double standard as usual
I would add being compared to past bfs. "Joe used to ..." *Billy was better at ...." So on.
Not really. Men can pair bond regardless of experience.
I am 66 and my wife is 64. I have a 'body count' of 2. Hers is 1. We have been married almost 44 years with no plans to change that...
Bless you and your wife
Thank you very much!@@jakesmith-bs4jd
Man..that's the dream
That’s cute you think her body count is 1
Well don't you have the moral high ground!?
A man wants a woman that other men want, not a woman that other men have had.
I still find Tania Joya attractive, but she doesn't strike me as being generally loose. Other than that, the problem isn't even the diseases, it's that all women with huge sexual histories are fundamentally untrustworthy, deceptive, and unfaithful. And it's not just the count either, it's the age. In fact a woman that had multiple partners but was only in committed relationships is less trustworthy than a woman who's had a couple fewer but they were all hookups when they were like 13. Of course, people having sex at 13 have probably had dozens of sexual encounters by adulthood. I've heard the most disgusting thing that apparently there's girls in their 20s with 100 past partners. Any woman who started having sex at an early age does not see it as a big deal and she WILL likely cheat. They don't see it as sacred, and they don't take that part of marriage seriously. The added problem is women lie about this, which ironically while I could maybe be a retard and ignore the huge sexual history, the fact is most women aren't even going to take that chance of being honest and so they all invariably do the one thing most guaranteed to piss me off which is lie to my face, and that alone is grounds for termination. I will not and can not forgive lying to my face. And women with body counts always pull this shit too and they will likely not ever be honest with you, putting you in the position of wasting lots of time before figuring it out the hard way and needing to dump them (if you stay together you're a retarded simp, she's going to cheat on you and THEN bail on your ass so cut your losses ASAP, women like this are incapable of fidelity and honesty).
true who wants to ride the town bicycle
@@WhiteRaven12773, everybody. EVERYBODY rides it. The problem is who's going to want to pay for the repairs and upkeep? In the end it gets used up and tossed aside.
@@GLDn1best retort I’ve heard to that, I approve ~sincerely, bored guy at work
thats logic xommon in woman that only soyboys (simp slave, bitchy gossipy , usually low testosterone men, ) use, because they have low self confidence because they know their immature deep down bellow all those lies, so they follow thecrowd or whatever their uncontrolled feelings do to them, often inclding peer pressure
My wife and I met when we were 17, married at 19, and have only been with each other. Call,us old fashioned, but we don’t ever have to wonder if either of us ever had it “better” with someone else. In July we celebrate 49 years of a beautiful monogamous marriage and I love her more each and every day.
Congrats to you and your wife. I wish this could happen more, but today's younger generation don't really get to start traditional adult life at 18 like that. In most job centers, rent is unaffordable for an 18 year old, so the ones that don't go to college either need 4 roommates, or live at home through their late 20s. If they go to college, traditional adult life gets pushed back even further. This gap from age ~18-28 makes the hookup culture way more prominent. I believe if younger people could afford to buy a house and start a family in their early 20s it would be a different story.
Happy to hear! I wish I had that.
Congratulations.🥰
I find it very hard to believe a woman has only ever been with one man
She will never tell you otherwise because she knows it will hurt your feelings. The reality is a lot of women who have only been with one man in this world have never even really had an actual orgasm and the man is never the wiser.
I am turning 30 years old this year as a woman and still a virgin. I used to be embarassed about it but not anymore. I am a 10. Im a old school hopeless romantic. Its SO HARD to find a good man who is similar to me aka my soulmate. I am not ashamed anymore. The society calling me weird can go off.
Wow! How odd…. a woman thinking of herself as a 10.
Absolutely nothing wrong with this. You have standards and respect your self. The only people who make fun of you for it are clowns. Like imagine giving a shit about another persons sex life? What does that say about them?
good for you fam, I have much respect and admiration for women like you salute!
Same also 30, nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about :)
Embarrassed why? You're a catch. You have the right to be picky, and demand what you want in a man, why? Because there's not that many girls like you...Your man can flaunt you, but what's there to flaunt with a girl with a high body count? Every other guy already got a piece of her.
High body count means they dont respect their bodies or the men in their lives. They dont see sex as special and will easily cheat.
I would say it's the same.
Men have highbody count if they are popular.
@@loaaderA high body count does not indicate difficulty in commitment on a man's part.
So what about the men who are having the sex. Why does the women body count and not the man. This conversation should be that you cannot trust anyone who has a large body count. Not just women who have them or not just men, but both because both partipate into the behavior. But to many men are hung up on looks also instead of personality and other factors tnat are more important in living together day to day.
@@narek323Sure it does. You such a hypocrite. Why is against the women to have a high body count but OK for men. Men cheat 10% more then women do. Talk about being a misogynist. Basically it does not matter who has the high body count, the man or women or both. It just shows they enjoy sex but not ready or want to get married. But if someone is bouncing around then they are probably not going to be faithful no matter what sex they are.
@@loaaderWell I can say the same for the women. But it is OK for the men to shop around but not women. These comment just kill me.
I'm 53 yrs old, I can openly say that I have a "body count" of 5 men. Two of the 5, I was married to and the other three were long term relationships. I can' honestly say that I'm pretty proud of that. I guess I just don't understand women these days where the goal in life is being a dirty whore. If they're trying to get attention, then they are going about it all wrong and it's pretty sad and pathetic. In the long run, they're only hurting themselves and God bless all the kitty cats, because there are going to be MILLIONS of "Crazy Cat Lady's". They have no self respect, no morals or values, NOTHING except ridiculous "demands" from men. Keep those standards high gentlemen and be damn proud of them, you deserve nothing but the best!
Yep, those types of interactions are normal. It’s the carousel riders that most men won’t commit to.
As a dude in his mid thirties, I wish I could see the morals you clearly have expressed within a woman near my age. However, I stopped even looking a few years back just because of the sheer effort involved in dealing with ego's meant for a queen, yet have the mental and spiritual fortitude of a drugged up hobo on the streets. Just so happens the drug they are addicted to is dopamine and you never know the value of what you have until you lose it.
With regard to your desire to understand the motives of younger women, it is only my opinion, but I believe the reason you see many as whores yet they appear to be completely immune to that sort of language is ego. If you stroke anyone's ego for long enough, they will think too highly of themself. They don't think they are whores therefore, because they feel they deserve the affectionate treatment. Many women will tell other women they deserve things they probably don't for this same reason. You stroke my ego and then I'll stroke yours. This is technically a drug deal for dopamine on both sides. A fair number have probably had that sort of drug addiction for most of their life. If you have this ego issue get extreme enough, you get solipsism, or, the idea that you are the only thing that actually exists and everything else is just an extension of you.
Ironically enough there is a theory that babies, for a set amount of time after birth, have solipsism because they have no logical barriers yet to what is the self. It takes moments like the baby crying for something and NOT getting what it wanted that allow the child over time to recognize that, for instance, it's mother IS NOT itself. As the parent won't always do exactly what the child wanted when they wanted it. Funny/Sad to think we are essentially actively promoting women behave and perceive existence like an infant.
You mam a wonderful jewel of a woman
Whoever is with is a very lucky man.
God bless you and your family
@@azothamenti3378 Thank you so much. That's very kind of you to say.
@@kimasp7482 the honor is mine kim asp.
Thank you on behalf of good men and women out there for the light that you are.🙏
5. STDs
4. Her reputation
3. Indicator of her habits and hobbies
2. Emotional Damage/Trauma
1. Impact on Pair Bonding
#5 is really #1.
Add 3, 2, and 1 and you get a higher likelihood of infidelity.
Human Evolutionary Biology is the main reason which is consistently not discussed and ignored.
6. The Frankenstein monster of the perfect guy that exists in women’s head. That she makes by taking the best qualities of her previous partners and measures against the present guy she’s dating.
@@kennethsmith6367BOOM! You just nailed the “broken female’s fantasy” like some say.. there ARE NO Disney Princesses😂 there’s no Prince Charming coming for these females who’ve broke so many souls and hearts.. when they relate to one red flag! You’ll never know that female they have been traumatised and it will be THE excuse every time, and me I’ll laugh as I’ve been through sooo much trauma it scares a lot that I’m still here🤷🏼♂️🙏 by 30-35 who doesn’t have some kind of trauma it’s no excuse! And I swear older females cannot control their mouths. I refuse to curse out a female just on respect and principle.. but 🤯 if I lm not as talkative I’m this that and the other and never get “are you ok?” Just tantrums. When a man tells a woman about his pain and she doesn’t take it seriously- or kicks him instead of asking if he’s ok.. you remove yerself if they have it in their head you will do this and that.. it’s a waste. And unlike me, I’ve been hurt so I don’t set out to hurt anyone but it’s a game for some.. one that has me ready to bounce from this country ✌️😮💨
Good luck bro!
Holy smokes. #1 is 100% accurate. I’ve just learned about this concept recently while I’m trying to navigate lingering strong sexual attraction to my ex-wife who cheated on, had a love child, and divorced me. Just came to know that she had a high body count, that I repressed severely out of being naïve , while she was and has been the only woman I’ve slept with. I’ve been divorced for almost 2 years. But yes the pair bonding makes so much sense in regard to why we care about a woman’s body count. I believe I’ve pair bonded with her even though I can’t trust her farther than I can throw her. It’s a totally crappy feeling when you still have this abnormal attraction to someone who has hurt you so incredibly bad.
I did my ex after the divorce. I wish I hadn't. I thought because I had forgiven her that the bad feelings were gone. They were just contained and intimacy set them loose.
You are better off just getting someone new. You won't be able to rebuild the past in some way that she isn't a cheater.
I feel your pain (Sorry Bill Clinton) brah. Move on. Learn to see her for what she is: a whore/slut who abused you. There are PLENTY of fish in the ocean. Move on.
Bro, I hate to break it to you, but you aren't pair bonded with this woman. Yes, you were married to her at some point in time, but she cheat on you, had a child with another man, divorced you, and you say yourself that you can't trust her. That is *not* pair bonding. This lingering sexual attraction you have for her is just limerence, and judging from your description of her, I highly doubt she feels the same way about you.
Wait, she had a kid with someone else WHILE you were married?
When I was 19 I dated a girl whose body count was 16 when at the time she was 18. I wish I stayed away as she ended up cheating on me. At the time she was trying to convince me she was ready for a relationship etc. and then found out later she cheated. Many years later I find out she got 2 kids now from 2 diff blokes and she single. I’m glad we went out separate ways. Just wish I never met her in the first place.
I am 31 and a tradesman. I spent 4 years after my only big break up at age 20 just chasing as many women as possible, trying to feel better about myself. I couldn't hold long term relationships with them because I hadn't dealt with the damage done by my cheating ex.
Years later being married, I wish I could forget every one of those situations. The "fun" I was having at the time devalued sex and I think devalued women in my mind. It took years to undo that terrible mindset and sometimes I still have a hard time trusting people or trusting myself to treat people right.
Focus on your own well being and career. After that, serious relationships only. That is my advice to young men these days.
GREAT advice!!!
Fantastic advice 👏
Don't be so hard on yourself. So you had a little fun. I don't see that as a big deal and you didn't mistreat anyone. The women were willing participants. No need to feel guilty. Human desire and sex is part of our biology.
I learned too late about my now ex-wife's high body count. Once I found out the truth I was repulsed by her, I didn't even want to share a bed let alone touch her. I also learned that she had several abortions at the same time. No surprise she cheated and I never felt like the divorce was a mistake. I have lived a much better life since removing her from it.
These lady are so good at lying and being manipulative. They think they hide the past.
@@emanhero6311 I hope you are above reproach in absolutely every area of your life for saying that.
Problem is not the bodycount itself. Its her personnality, which also involve a high body count. But you cant say every woman who had several partners is like that.
I will have to disagree, while the actual number will vary from man to man there will ultimately be a number that no man can tolerate. We have all heard the statistics about a woman's ability to pair bond being all but lost after 5 sexual partners, how should a man dealing with woman with dozens or worse expect to have a real lasting relationship. While many women consider this empowering, we men see it as degrading and disgusting@@danslavallee
The best predicter of future behaviour is past behaviour.
Thanks, Emily, for this. I'm reminded of an old saying: "When a woman is interested in a man, she looks at his future. When a man is interested in a woman, he looks at her past.". This seems to be human nature and it can be difficult for the genders to understand this about each other. Good topic, thanks again.
Nope. Men are not creatures in which the past does not tell a tale. Patterns of behaviors are hard to change.
@@alanasmith6065 I think you’re trying to make a point here, but it’s lost in translation. Could you explain your statement?
Men don't want to have a women on his arm that his friends, business dealings and family may have had. That women causes him to loose status in the eyes of the men around him that either know what she was or spent time with her.
Actually, womans are the only ones having difficulty in understand/accept it. (Most of them nowdays)
@@augustmosco fEMINAZI ALERT: >@Alanasmith6065 is a fEMINIST
We don't need a reason and there is no debate. We care and there's nothing you can do about it. The best you can do is find a man desperate enough to pretend he doesn't care.
She belongs to the streets - I'll pass!
and I would add, "Good luck at finding those too."
You'll never know anyway.
I remember, just after college, I was sitting at an event and a beautiful single woman sat down next to me. We started talking and hit it off. I felt great about it. Then, as we talked about mutual acquaintances, I came to realize that she was a woman who had spontaneous pickup sex with at least five of my friends. In one case, two at a time. I instantly was repulsed by her. Part of it was the STD issue. Part was the fact that so many of my friends had experienced her. I would have been ashamed to bring her around or to let any of my friends know I married her. I disengaged from the conversation as quickly as possible and turned down her invitation to dinner. She probably never suspected why.
You should have told her why. Might have been the best thing for her, long term.
What's her #?
A woman’s past tells me about her future.
Women with high body counts have difficulty pair bonding.
Women with high body counts are better for short term sexual relationships.
Women with no or low body counts are better for long term sexual relationships.
This has been my personal experience over the years.
The pair bonding is the biggest thing.
Exactly: "Past is prologue".
Guess you have quite a high body count yourself to have got a statistically representative sample. So ...
@@transientaardvark6231 I do have a high body count. And talking from experience, he is correct.
Substitute "a" where "high" is used and take out "or low". High and low are subjective.
I remember I was on my third date with my now wife, and this guy suddenly angles over to the table. It was immediately clear in my wife’s eyes that she knew who he was, and I was thinking, “uh oh, here it comes, this chick has a baggage train.” He didn’t even acknowledge her, just looked at me and says, “Hey man, don’t waste your time, this girl is a prude.” And walks away.
He could not have given her a better endorsement. It was so good that I suspected she engineered it for the longest time.
More men should look out for other men like this. Women do it all the time. They will even go as far to trash a man with lies about him just to be mean, vindictive and manipulative, but that’s in their genes.
That is a great account!
@@Makemysammich23 Yes, it is very common. Especially if the man is not socially adept, doesn’t have social media, and doesn’t gossip. Women with men like this feel they can trash him and slander him (for any number of reasons, like manipulating the feelings of others) without him ever knowing.
My wife does it, too, though in a positive way. While it is flattering that she wants to tell people good things about me, I still don’t really like it. Having random people or acquaintances say “I heard you are really great with your kids” causes me to inwardly cringe, but I haven’t confronted her about it. It would hurt her feelings and cause unnecessary friction, but it is always in the back of my mind that pay attention to what people are saying in the event it starts to be negative things I’m hearing.
Woooohoooo, hooray for you both!!!!! This makes me happier than you can know. Instead of second hand embarrassment, I feel second hand dignity!
The irony. That guy was giving you a huge thumbs up, while thinking he was warning you and burning her. Awesome! And congrats to you and your wife!
The slang "High Body Count" sanitizes what we, in our day, called a "slut". "Body count" removes the stigma of slutty behavior.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You can't make a wife out of a 304.
At its core, a lot of this is all related to paternity. Women can never truly understand how important & dangerous this is for men because women will obviously know that the child she gave birth to is hers, while men have no such guarantee.
On the money. It's an instinct men have thats evolutionary.
this is a very important point but none women will ever understand this (besides Emily and a few other tressures out there)
That doesn't explain the large majority of women having a strong preference for men who have a high count.
@@davidz3879 oh it does. u just dont understand the point. while men want women with low body count to be sure its their baby, women prefere men with high body count (sadly) because it means their dna is valuable and cant provide for good babys. its all biology since we are just animals like every other animal on this planet
@@davidz3879 In a word, Hypergamy.
High body count means promiscuity. There will always be mistrust from the man, not to mention the promiscuous female will likely mistrust her man. Chaste woman will always be more highly valued by any discerning man. Men want real love as much women, but in order to achieve that, men require the two most important aspects of a relationship: Loyalty and Respect. And yes, of course that’s a two-way street.
Low body count means she will have a high body count later.
Why is everybody saying 'low' or 'high', it must be fcking zero.
@@zombine7103 ~I did not say “low”; I said “chaste”.
Yes...marry a woman that doesn't enjoy sex, and then complain when she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore.
Well played gentlemen.
@@zombine7103 zero is unrealistic
Emily, agree and you are correct, men should not expect their woman to have a low body count if their count is huge.
As a guy who is 56 and married for 28 uears, and has slept with only one woman, I can say I really, really, feel for the you guys at the moment. Feminism has turned normal women into ‘high body count’ (we all know what that means) girls and told them it is empowering and normal. My son is 25 and hooked up with a good woman, and I think he might have got lucky. Stick to your principles, guys, a wrong decision might cost you dearly these days.
With STDs alone I can't wrap my head around why women DON'T seem to care about their partner's body count. Women have told me very confidently and proudly that they don't care and all I can think is "but... YOU. REALLY. SHOULD. CARE."
Another way to look at it:
If a woman's reckless with her body, what else is she reckless with?
When they are young, they don't see why it matters, so they don't care. Later on when they finally understand why it matters, it's too late -damage is done, you can't go back. Its really sad the way feminism gave them "the freedom to do as they please" and "the gun to their head" at the same time.
Women don't care because it would make them take a deeper look at their own very poor decisions.
Men's disgust for women who are not chaste is because of a biological need to ensure paternity.
@@godozo I'm a woman and that's always how I have looked at it. Lack of sexual discipline is such a turn off for me. And surely, that lack of discipline translates in other areas of the person's life. If you're reckless with your own body, how can I trust you with anything?
My challenge with a high body count (myself included; male) is that it's a form of training. When we are going from partner to partner to partner, and not needing it to last it trains the eye to look for the next one, the next one, the next one... Then out of the blue you want to start a relationship With NO Training!!! I am nearly half way through my life, and I'm grateful to say "I have zero training for one night stands".
People who do well with causal hook-ups, are those who don't have empathy. Empathy creates emotional connections.
I literally can't even do that. It's honestly a bit creepy and scary to think about how people can have actual baby making sex with each other and feel nothing. Imagine being literally that dead. Like your soul is just dead. That's not even the Thousand Cock Stare levels of trauma, that's just serial killery sociopathy. I also adamantly disagree with anyone talking about experience, it's not a good thing, if anything it leaves you more damaged and even more unable to get in and maintain a relationship than when you were younger. In fact my relationships DID get shorter as time progressed, until I finally just got so damaged and realized I'd had it with people fucking groping me. So to me it's like how people talk about forced schooling for "socialization" fuck no it's the same thing as sending yuor kid to prison, would you send you child to prison to "make them learn how to socialize and make friends"? No of course you wouldn't because that only teaches them the negative ways to socialize and they don't even begin having real friendships without transactional bullshit and leaves them even WORSE off than someone with no experience, because now they have to literally unlearn all the bad things they were taught on top of that and basically fight against their own second instincts.
It reminds me of this landscaping construction thing I did, where the (it was my first time doing it back then) bossman was like "oh no that's good." I'm like why's that good? He said "it's because this means that you didn't learn how to do something someone else's way and I don't have to wait time for you unlearning all the stupid shit the last guy taught you. I don't have to be patient with you unlearning how to do things wrong. I can just teach you how to do things right the first time."
And that is why if you had sex at an earlier age or if you had tons of sexual partners you're really fucked beyond how badly you imagine, and my protip would be for you to take at least several years off from your shenanigans. I agree with what that one woman had to say, the dating pool is so toxic because some people never go and time to heal and instead jump back directly in to start pissing in the pool immediately. So I think if you did conduct yourself poorly with a string of bad relationships, you're pretty much better off just taking a bit of time to work things out, rather than waste more time on broken relationships that're only going to make you worse. It's like switching to cigars to stop yourself chain smoking, you're still an addict and now you're only going to stink more.
@@pandemicneetbux2110That would be you OPINION and nothing more.
Yes! So verey true.
Emotional connection is not in a man's favour. Either the law changes or it stays the same. You can't have the cake and eat it too.
@@williamlevy6964 Yes, you can! You sound like a man who has challenges with emotional connections. Men like this tend to have trust issues; commitment issues... Mature men like me who have a healthy sacred masculine, are men with strong integrity, that provides empowering emotional connections! You're just not there just yet. Focus on your healing, and you will be.
The main reason for a man to be concerned about a high body count or any amount of casual encounter-type history is the emotional damage that must exist in that woman. The sex itself will be fine, but there is more to it than that.
I think she’s definitely right about women who have a low body count or are virgins. It’s for a reason they’ve saved themselves or have been careful. They don’t want a man either with a high body count. I didn’t. And while I was a virgin and my husband wasn’t when we married, he only had a body count of 2. Considering the research that was shared in this video, is a relief.
The problem with this reasoning is that a virgin man does not = a virgin woman.
All the qualities men are looking for in virgin women are *not* present in virgin men whatsoever... men aren't women.
@@davepazz580 Nobody said men and women are the same. The reasoning can be different or similar, doesn't matter. The point is women who do their best to honor their body & exercise discipline want men who have done the same... and are as repulsed by men with high body counts as men are repulsed by women with high body counts.
@@sarauniyaGH You are suggesting that men and women are perfectly identical with this line of thought...
It would be as if I said, "Men who have done their best in their careers and disciplined to making hundreds of thousands of dollars per year want women who make the exact same money"...
Even if you found some examples of this being true for *some* men, the *huge* majority of financially successful men couldn't care any less if a woman has a great career or making the same money he does... he's looking for other qualities and the stats would prove this fact.
Same goes for virgin vs. non-virgin or high body count men... the *majority* of women choose men based on anything *but* a man's body count, and the stats show this very clearly.
So these words of yours sound very nice, but ultimately empty and meaningless... *most* women desire men that other women also want, and such men are *not* virgins.
As I said before, a virgin man does *not* "equal" a virgin women... if they were the same, then no high body count man would ever even exist int he first place.
@@davepazz580 Again, men and women are not the same. That does not mean we don't share similarities. If a woman is an honest person and hates liars.. she is not gonna desire a habitual liar for a partner. Same as a man. Just like lying is an undesirable trait regardless of gender, promiscuity is an undesirable trait regardless of gender.
So I don't understand why it's so hard for you to accept that a woman who makes the conscious decision and effort to not be promiscuous typically desires a partner that is similar in nature. People with high body counts are mostly having sex with other people with high body counts.. whether they realize it or not.
A virgin woman looking for a long-term commitment like marriage with someone who will love, value, respect & be loyal to her 9/10 is not gonna choose the man having sex outside of committed relationships, using multiple women as fleshlights or hopping from situationship to situationship. That's the case for me, a lot of the women I know, and OP whose comment you originally replied under. There are probably a few outliers out there, but they are definitely not the majority. We choose men for a lot of different reasons.. similarities in some aspects is definitely one of them.
@@sarauniyaGH They certainly don't share "similarities" when it comes to the *primal* factors that instinctively draw one to the other...
It's a well-known fact that men who are financially very well off and have a high social status attract the greatest number of women... but women that are very financially well-off do *not* attract the greatest number of men.
A woman's bank account and public profile bears no significance whatsoever in her power to attract, but a man *needs* to build his financial and social status high to even think about attracting women in any real capacity.
See?
What works for one doesn't work for the other... in fact, the *only* men enjoying female attention in the dating scene are financially secure, high-status men (these men are constantly dating new women and sleeping with them also).
Now, you can choose whatever man you like (women are the ones that choose sex anyway)... I don't object to your personal choice, but I do reject this silly idea of ascribing a virgin woman's characteristics onto a male virgin, somehow thinking a man with multiple partners in his life means he's "using multiple women as fleshlights or hopping from situationship to situationship".
These silly characterizations are what promiscuous *women* are known for... men aren't women, and don't even control access to sex in the first place.
As someone here once said: "A virgin man is simply a loser that can't get laid.... end of story."
If the vast majority of women said what you said and actually *acted* according to those beliefs (i.e. they *only* dated virgin guys) then I'd give more seriousness to this point of view because I'd have proof it's actually happening on a large scale.
But that's far from what goes on in the real world, so I place no relevance on such statements whatsoever... they are just nice words with very little impact in real life.
My dad once explained it to me like this "Imagine you're at a social event and the men there are passing around a can of beer that every guy spits in and then passes along. When the can comes to you, would you drink out of it knowing that many men spit I to it before you?"
Do you liken a chaste widow to a beer that has been spit in?
🤣🤮 is a hilarious way to put it
@@zapazapno....she was married to that person...so she was allowed to be intimate sexually with him...different this way.
@@Jerry-yb7po I was asking the person who provided the "can of beer" analogy. I wanted to know what *he* thought. For presumably you would not want to drink that beer even if the people were allowed to spit in it.
Hopefully you tell the women you're courting that they're like a can of beer that you hope to spit in some day.
On women, lots of bodies, like tattoos, are a good indicator of issues. Some guys like wild nonconformists... but that gets less and less attractive to men as they mature, and women with those traits have a tougher and tougher time competing over time. There'll always be guys available who just want a good time, but the ones looking for something serious will look elsewhere.
Tattoos, anything other than ear piercings, smoking, anything aside from extremely light drinking are all signs of promiscuity. People can cope all they want, but its true
Tattoos USED to be a symbol of nonconformity, but it's been at least a decade, maybe two, since that was the case.
Disagree. Not a fan of tattoos and a bunch of piercings for myself, but I find women with them to be attractive. I'd say it's more a personal taste thing.
yeah I never really thought of myself as being conservative really, but I don't like tatoos on women. I mean if it's some small cute thing somewhere with a deep meaning to her, it's not a deal breaker, but yeah lots of tatoos are a huge red flag and honestly I think it screws up the beauty of their skin.
Tattoos are a huge red flag that the woman has a lot of trauma drama ..
Some of these topics can be made for both sexes actually, in my vision, not just the physical heath part, but the mental as well. And as a male who has participated in hook up culture and serial monogamy, finding my true love and being able to (not without effort, from both sides) change my ways to build a healthy relationship, I have to say that I literally can feel a (positive) difference in how my mind works now.
Although men and women's brains have somewhat different biochemical and morphological works, the ways in which humans in general perform change in themselves are basically the same. Having a specific "routine" in our lives can make us repeat ourselves even when we don't like what we're doing. And by rooting out the cause of bad habits and commiting to a choice of way of life can be effective in bettering both physical and mental health.
LOL, my bullsh*t meter is banging the peg! What a load of crap!
Most importantly, If he cares,
HE GETS TO CARE!!!
A woman does not get to dictate what a man cares about.
A simple point, yet very true.
If it matters to HER so much how tall he is, then he gets to care whether or not Chad, Tyrone, and the rest of the block ran through her like a track & field court.
These and SO many more reasons. Generally, a promiscuous woman also lacks morals, integrity, self respect, etc. etc.. and guessing way more likely than average to cheat if she ever does find herself in a LTR. It's a huge turnoff for me and is a solid 'deal breaker'. The sad thing is that many people have no issue lying about it. Pretty sad the things we have to deal with in society these days. 🤦🏼♂
The biggest worst most ironic thing about all that is the simple fact that LYING is itself a true and total dealbreaker to me. And so all you're really doing when you do that and lie to me is pushing off when I'm going to break up with you. Because once I found out that you lied to me to my face (and I will find out eventually, one way or another; we all do eventually) it goes from being a "wellll this is a problem but Bob the builder can still fix it and make this work" to "you broke down the fundamental loyalty, trust, and honesty needed to make any relationship work, that is literally the definition of what relaitonships are is trust/honesty/loyalty, and so therefore we don't even have anything anymore and I question how much we even had is a lie."
I can't stand it that women do this. No female sin is more prominent and outrageous than the complete lack of honesty and blunt truthfulness that the majority of women display in trying to basically avoid conflict and dodge responsibility or looking bad, and so they basically use all means available to avoid using the real truth. Hence a lot of the times even when a guy is just directly telling the truth like K Samuels "yeah but I don't like the way he said it" that when you follow the logic it eventually gets to halftruths and misrepresentations to make the one party look good and the other party look bad. Women that do this pathologically I try and avoid like the plague and the problem is you really can't tell them apart at first glance. But it's just sad to me because on the off chance I, personally, really liked someone (and frankly in my case it's super rare, like even feeling deeply drawn to a person is something I only experience a few times a decade) I'm highly liable to overlook literally absolutely everything about a person at that point that's a serious redflag at that point, from a history of drug addiction to a bad sexual history to too many tattoos to abusiveness to being a single mom to being a former stripper etc., and yet I'm utterly intolerant of people lying to me, and so if you did seem like it was worth it then you sure as hell don't now.
It's a dumb ass gamble to me to be making but I'm assuming because it actually works more often than not is why women keep pathologically lying so damn much, because they know full well the average guy, once he's having sex with her, is pretty much going to be too blinded to do anything at that point and so they expect it can just be some fight and go to bed when he finds out. It's like they completely disregard all the future consequences and is, quite frankly, the reason why people say things like a history of drug addiction, tattoos, and bad credit are so much of a big character flaw, is because it shows the complete lacking of foresight, and that's the perfect examplar of this, is basically lying through your teeth to a guy to get your foot in the door and then only to have him find out later and letting it all implode. So the thing is, this may work for a time, but you're also destined to run into guys like me who are actually willing to work with you on this if you're one of those rare utterly compelling people, but it all goes out the window the moment I find out you were lying. Lying is hands down worse than cheating. It's literally the worst thing you possibly can do about a relationship, and I see it all the damn time. This seems to be way more common with certain types of women though, and I'm thinking of ones that don't have any tattoos or drug addiction or criminal past and come off as "preppy" types, but are some of the ones so used to pathologically lying to men that they'll lie about damn near everything. I'd rather be with a woman who has a lot of tattoos and take a chance on her or a former heroin addict, than ever tolerate someone who's lying to me.
With respect, what evidence do you have for *any* of your claims? How do you know that promiscuous women lack ‘morals’ and ‘self-respect’? This is a bold claim and without evidence you come across as a prude.
@@thefuturist8864 Observing people for 50 years, reading books, articles, etc.. I don’t have time to try and dig up some research for you. If a woman has no problems with hookups, sleeping with a guy within an hour or less of meeting for the first time, threesomes, sleeping around, etc. It’s not going to take much for them to cheat if they are upset with their boyfriend or husband… Also, note that I said ‘generally’ I realize there may be the exceptions. Though, even if they were capable of being faithful, I would not want to be with someone that has been sleeping around with a lot of people for essentially sport or hobby, with a high body count. No thanks, not the sort of woman I would be interested in. Maybe you don’t think there is anything wrong with that sort of lifestyle, idk. To each their own.
@@thefuturist8864 No it's just the truth and it's how we all see it. We may not say it, not to you, not to your face, but this is how the majority of everyone thinks and feels and we're right to do so. Not acting like a total slut doesn't make us "a prude." You just got raised wrong and have bad values and poor character leading you to making bad choices that I'm sure were substance fueled too, especially by alcohol. I'm sorry that we all lied to you and each other as a society, but it's not ok, and it never was ok to sleep around.
Being promiscuous means a complete lack of any self respect, yes, and speaks volumes about personal boundaries, personal values, character, and integrity. It says this person just doesn't take sex seriously and so you can't take her seriously as a wife. Given there are pretty big consequences for all this, you should never marry a woman like that without a prenup, and even then you're putting your kids' welfare on the line for a woman who's got a proven track record not even to give a shit about maintaining integrity with sex.
Moreover sexual promiscuity is a serious marker for a wide variety of mental illnesses. It includes the cluster b personality disorders, manic episodes, and substance use disorders, among other things.
The fact you literally not only see nothing wrong with outright promiscuity but that you even go so far as calling people who don't sleep around "prudes" speaks volumes and I feel bad for you. You probably do not yet know or admit to yourself then the way others really are seeing you and treating you, and haven't yet come to terms with the fact you're not being seen as wife material by anybody. No man with actual resources is going to do anything but fuck around with a loose girl and then eventually abandon her. This is because promiscuous women centrally cannot be trusted and are often disloyal, which is where the real problem lies, and why they're absolutely atrocious for any man wanted to have a family and a marriage, because they're the worst bet possible like marrying active drug addicts in terms of maintaining a healthy and stable environment for raising children.
@@thefuturist8864If a woman will give her body to just anyone, then that is all the evidence that you need to know that she doesn’t have respect for herself and doesn’t see herself as too valuable for just anyone to easily get.
I never saw body count as an issue when I was younger, but now in my 40's I've gotten a really good real life look at how damaging it can be in the long term. Every single girl I knew in my youth who used to sleep around, 100% of them, are currently single, divorced, unable to maintain a relationship, and most have kids with multiple partners. Not a single one of them managed to stay in a long term committed relationship. Most if the girls that weren't like that have been married for many years and have good, stable families.
A woman's ability to pair bond starts to erode at 5 sexual partners, and by the time they hit 10 it's almost completely gone. If you are with a woman with a high body count there is an almost zero percent chance the relationship will last long term, and you shouldn't waste your time trying to make it work.
It's ancient wisdom. Every serious civilization discouraged female promiscuity.
The body count itself is not the issue its the cause behind what sometimes leads to it.
Met an eastern european girl about 14 years ago. I was the 10th guy. She was a serious girl, I couldn't keep up. Wanted to get married at 22. We broke up, dated another guy for a month or so, didn't sleep with him, met another guy that she married and has been married ever since. 3 kids. So 10 parteners is not really that much in today's standard. She cared for me as well. Cheers.
Actually those are the scientifically supported FACTS. Five is pressing it, ten is past the point of no return. The psychological studies have been done. The results are a matter of record.
@@vladrugina94- unfortunately, multiple studies refute your conclusion. Ten is past the point of no return 99.999% of the time.
I discussed "Body Count" with my wife and even she had a hard time understanding why it disgusts men. So I offered her this example: You meet a friend in a coffee bar and your friend hands you a large latte'. As you go to drink, you notice various color lipstick stains on the cup indicating multiple people have been using that same cup recently. Would you still drink out of that cup? Or would you be disgusted and pass? I bet you would pass.
Well, that's how it is with a guy who finds out the person he is dating is sleeping with other guys at the same time. It totally puts him off that other men have been there first. If it was a long time ago, then that is one thing. But if it happened in the recent past, (a month or less) then that is a completely different story.
There is probably a biological reason for this because the same thing happens in nature. A dominant male deer (buck) generally has a harem and will fight to the death if any other buck tries to mate with his females. It's inherent in male thinking. We don't know why nor can we explain it, but the feeling is real and very powerful.
Does your wife have a high body count herself? She's got to understand too that the more bodies a woman has, the less likely she will bond to one particular man, and she will always subconsciously compare you to the other guys she's been with.
@@mikeymyke : No, actually I was her second and we got married. It's just that women see things differently, even when you THINK you understand them.
Nature or not, this is wrong for women. Men don't like women. Like this animal who has a harem. Do you think he love them ? No he is just selfish. Which woman is happy in a harem ?.😂 we have a spirit not like animals. So get over this biological instinct
A woman is not a cup. Problem starts right there. You see women as an object to use.
@@mikeymyke and ? Comparison is good. So she can choose the better person for her. Oh yeah but you don't care about women needs and happiness...
There is also the spiritual aspect in that it is a union of spirits. Each additional union you have with others you carry some part of their spirit which you can pass on to future unions with someone else.
Personally I have found women who were promiscuous after a certain point were unable or struggled to create a monogamous relationship lasting any significant time. They were always at first happy about the new relationship and then as the realities of day in day out life intruded on their relationship and it lost its newness they started looking for reasons to breakup. The reasons were usually simple and petty, "He does text me back as soon as I text him, He comes home tired often from work, he wants to eat at home and does not want to go out several times a week,.... Basically they do not want to be in a relationship that has lost its freshness aka its bloom.
Yet when asked about their earliest relationships they were committed to them and when things became a problem they were determined to work them out and sustain the relationship. But as they became more and more promiscuous they found themselves having more and more "Disposable" relationships. This ranged from being with a man for up to a month to a single day. Most of these relationships centered around what their partner did for them. A sad ending to a woman who could have been a giving and supporting partner in a relationship instead of a parasitic member from day one.
Now add to this the promiscuous woman who depended upon abortion to allow them to have unprotected sex with a casual hookup. This first and foremost breed into them a casualness of disposable life in regards to a fetus. Secondly they present themselves as a hotbed where a STI/STD can be planted and passed onto other partners.
For me when I seek to enter into a relationship it is not for one and done. So when I meet a woman and she has a string of previous partners my first thought is how is this woman broken, Then I wonder whether her history includes Sexual Transmitted Diseases, what is the risk to me as a potential partner? Then I look at her morals, has she had an abortion thru not having protected sex or being on birth control? As a person that believes that abortion is murder this is a serious issue for me.
When I find these things out this woman almost instantly switches from possible to no thank you mam. I have one thing on this earth that is the most valuable thing to me. My Time! I do not mind spending money on a woman who I am dating. But to find out I have wasted time on someone incapable of a sustainable relationship or who has opened themselves upto STDs or has killed her own fetus, that is time just pissed away like beer thru a drunks kidneys useless. My time is finite and I spend it judiciously until I find that woman that I want to be my partner. I do not require a beauty queen or someone made up to the nines and with styled hair and artistically done fingernails, (I actually prefer my woman without makeup so I can see the real her.). I am happy to have a plane jane who does not stand out in the crowd. She only has to be real and willing to devote herself to me as I am willing to devote myself to her. Someone who is looking for that onetime longtime permanent relationship.
I have turned down more womens offer of a night in their arms than I care to think about. I want to know a woman intimately before I lay down with her. To know her wants and needs and yes aspirations.
So Body Count is a high standing benchmark for me with women because it usually points to other traits that tell me this is not the woman I am looking for.
Well said!
Promiscuous men can't pair bond either.
@@sarahrobertson634promiscuity effects women more than men, and more women are promiscuis than men are, you are more likely to find a virgin man or a man with low body count than you are to find a woman
@@sarahrobertson634 this. The whole "men don't have the same hormones and can do it more easily" is such horseshit. Fuck the man-o-sphere grifters
@@sarahrobertson634 thats false
As a traditional virgin man, I will never settle for non-virgins.
You know virgin women are pretty near extinction right?
Have fun being a virgin forever then lol.
Even as a teenager looking for love, I knew I had to have a virgin GF. High school heuxes were out of the question. Even nice girls who I knew had lost their virginity were not acceptable. It took a while but I met my wife in community college. Junior high and high school was a zoo. One semester in college and I met a good girl. Been married 31 years and have three grown kids, looking forward to retirement.
Then remain a virgin, because if being a virgin or not is make or break, you are probably a fucked up individual.
Good for you man! More should be doing that and COULD if their morals and convictions were strong
Men are considered as "keys."
Women are considered as "locks."
A key that can open many locks is considered as a "Master Key. A lock that is opened by any key is considered as "Broken."
Nice one!
…There were two cannibals in a feeding frenzy over a clown. Suddenly, one cannibal stopped eating and said to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
The problem is parenting. I was an abused child and never had the "sex" talk with either of my biological parents. Now I have 2 kids of my own and I am making sure that they both understand that casual sex is not acceptable. There has to be accountability. Sex is not just 2 people engaged in a form of mutual masturbation. It is an act of love and child conception. I don't know if im going so far as to make it religious and say that it has to be reserved for after a wedding. But, it means more then just hooking up at a bar. There has to be love, and commitment.
0:35 see at first I thought I didn't care, until my ex fiance started telling me stories of her past. Then, I started feeling a literal disgust in my stomach fhe more I heard about different guys. Then I realized, I care; I just hadn't thought about it.
When your body makes you physically sick from the thought of the person you want to marry sleeping around in the past and racking up bodies, then you should listen to your body. I didn't choose to care, I just instinctively do.
Also, sti's and std's are definitely more prevalent now than 20 years ago
This is what ive tried to explain before, that its instinctual to feel disgusted by this. It's not personal, just that we evolved to be this way, and we cant just turn that off.
@MBEG89 yea, exactly. Girls act like it's a conscious choice we make and decide when for most guys it's a natural response, not even a thought just a literal disgust
I absolutely agree. If you're a man who abstains from this behavior because you know just how damaging it can be to women it hits really hard when you find out she's previously slept around.
Part of us intrinsically knows, even though it's not on the forefront of our minds, that she isn't going to be as satisfied with the guy that comes later on.
Sex is something both parties don't start out being great at so it's something people should learn together one time, in the context of marriage in my opinion.
That "gut feeling" is your body telling you "🚨Danger Danger 🚨". You are absolutely correct. You should NOT ignore 🚩s, they indicate weak boundaries.
This guy I knew gave this girl herpes. He was at a bar one night when the woman came in. She announced to the bar that Hector had given her herpes. No sex for you anymore dipsh!t, got to leave town. He was murdered in his barn one night.
Above 5, a woman's bodycount becomes the single most common factor in failed marriages. I once heard somebody say that sex is as much a spiritual act as a physical one. Every time you have sex with somebody new you leave a little piece of your soul with them and they leave a tiny piece of theirs with you. You destroy your ability to form a deep, intimate connection with the next person everytime you have sex with someone new. This is even true for men, but it impacts women much more strongly than men. Which makes sense considering how often women LOVE going on about spiritual/pseudo-spiritual crap. Crystals, astronomy, etc, etc. Women connect to that stuff much more readily than men do.
Sounds like fake garbage some grifter pedaled to people lol. You don't loose part of your soul after sleeping with someone.
‘You leave a little piece of your soul with them’? What a load of nonsense. Sex isn’t a ‘spiritual’ endeavour; it’s two (or maybe more!) people mutually enjoying each other’s bodies.
If you’re going to dismiss women’s ideas about ‘spirituality’ as ridiculous, maybe take a look at your own as well.
@@thefuturist8864 So much cope. Rockin' a nice high bodycount there, huh? You can't un-ring the bell so just cope harder. Gaslight harder. That'll make it all better.
It actually applies to men too, yanno. The threshold is higher, but a man's ability to form a meaningful bond with any one woman also drops off as that bodycount climbs.
Doesn't muchmatter if you want to explain it away spiritually, scientifically, or all of the above. The stats remain the stats. No amount of cope or denial will change that.
Math is kinda ruthless like that.
Good luck. Really. It's not...impossible...to form a meaningful connection with a high bodycount. Highly improbable...but not impossible. I guess. So good luck.
Word of Advice. The first step to getting out of the hole is always the same no matter what: Stop digging.
When I re-entered the dating market body count was important. But, I also wanted to know the reason for the break up of her relationships. I met a woman who seemed perfect for me. She had girls the same age as my boys and other things similar that made me interested. But, when she told me she just got tired of her husband I saw red flags. If the break up was not her fault like if the guy she was with was a cheater or an abuser I gave her a chance. So body count and the reasons for the break up were both important to me.
Women with high body counts arent much different from sociopathic/psychopathic men.
These issues are completely predictable now. She was 19, I was 22. Our families knew each other and we were in a committed relationship since she was 15. She willingly slept with her friends brother on a sleep over when she was 13 and had one other sexual boyfriend before me. She drank to excess, not remember things and was mentally and physically abusive. I remember pulling her out of many bad situations. It ended with her getting drunk, starting a fight and storming off down the beach in Mexico. She ended up throwing herself at and sleeping with a guy she barely knew. I’m 50 and retired, she’s divorced (from that same guy). Point is, I’m sure she cheated on me many times over, just as she cheated on her X. I could have asked her to do any number of immoral things back then. I never asked. You can’t fix what’s set in stone.
Body count shows what kinda person you are dealing with! In fact it's like looking into how your relationship will go
WRONG. YOU ALL ARE SEXIST AND WRONG.
Body count matters more than any other single consideration when deciding whether to commit to a woman. It's a heuristic for 20+ relevant factors:
1. Her psychological and biochemical ability to form lasting pair bonds. Studies show a strong correlation between a woman's number of sexual partners and infidelity or divorce. Women with high body counts, unlike men, get desensitized to dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin, making it difficult for them to feel genuine lasting love and loyalty.
2. Her need for novelty and how easily she gets bored in a long-term monogamous relationship.
3. Her need for male attention and validation.
4. Her impulse control and ability to practice delayed gratification.
5. Her general outlook on life and her priorities.
6. Her morals.
7. Her level of trauma from prior relationships and sexual encounters.
8. Her potential for being a good mother and role model for our future daughters.
9. The chances of her having an STD (one in four girls have one.)
10. The chance of her having a roster (yuch) and you just being one of many guys on that roster.
11. The possibility of losing sexual access in the future if she suddenly decides to switch to some other man.
12. The degree to which she is dating opportunistically, monkey branching from man to man, chasing materialistic wealth and status.
13. Her self-respect and her concept of what a relationship should be.
14. The likelihood of her still having active male friendships while dating you.
15. A party lifestyle: A high number of past sexual partners could also be an indication that she has a very active social life, going to parties, night clubs, etc., where she dresses provocatively, effectively making herself available to other men. Her friends also likely share this lifestyle and will continuously influence her choices and preferences. This type of lifestyle increases the chances of relationship dissatisfaction and dissolution.
16. The deeply ingrained innate preference in men for youth, fertility, sexual inexperience, chastity, and purity in women to ensure numerous healthy offspring and paternity certainty. This preference is rooted in evolution.
17. Social perception and status: if a woman is unfaithful to a man, he risks losing status in his community. Promiscuous women have a higher chance of causing future financial loss, humiliation, emotional anguish, and loss of social status if their promiscuity causes them to misbehave.
18. The chances of her comparing your sexual performance and sexual chemistry to her past sexual partners.
19. The fact that you'll always know. The mental image of your girlfriend/wife getting plowed by all those men will always gnaw at you. It will fester and grow into resentment.
20. A high body count could also mean that she had her sexual debut at a young age or that she has had past abortions, which can further add to her trauma.
21. The likelihood of past abortions and failed pregnancies and how that potentially changes her outlook on wanting children in the future.
22. Her relationship with her family. Promiscuous girls often have "daddy issues" with abusive, neglecting, or absent fathers. You will potentially have to deal with this family dynamic and her trauma for the rest of your life. Her dysfunctional parents will be your children's grandparents.
23. The chances of her having been on hormonal birth control for years with all the associated adverse side effects (mood swings, endocrine problems, blood clots, cancers, ovarian cycle disruption, libido issues, weight gain, masculinization, altered mate preferences, altered brain chemistry, etc.). Birth control pills elevate progesterone levels and suppress the secretion of gonadotropin-releasing hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone, thereby tricking the body into thinking it's pregnant so that an egg isn't released when it naturally otherwise would be. Studies have shown that women who met their partner while on the pill and later stopped taking it report lower sexual satisfaction and partner attraction compared to those who were not on the pill when they met their partner.
24. The chances of her comparing her feelings with you to an idealized version of how she remembers feeling with a particularly alpha past partner.
You should never commit to a girl with a double-digit body count. Imagine a girl who has slept with 22 men. That's two whole soccer teams of men before you came along. What are the odds of you, number 23, being her last? That's disgusting and insane in a historical context. Before the advent of female contraception, such a woman would have had a dozen kids if she had that lifestyle. Female promiscuity and a high body count is an absolute boundary. A woman's class, grace, dignity, purity, innocence, manners, self-restraint, self-respect, and morals are instinctively super crucial for a man when committing to a woman. They are her strongest assets. That woman will be the mother of his children. If she has her ass all over the internet or if she has slept with a bunch of different men, she's not someone you should commit to. Party girls, promiscuous girls, and attention addicts are for non-committed, short-term, no-strings-attached relations only.
Number 1 is definitely correct. In many cases women with high counts have an underlying issue like molestation or they are bi-polar or both, and if they have a eating disorder it's also usually a big red flag of these behaviors as well. Every situation is different as each person is different.
What a lot of men don't realize is, some women's idea of body count ONLY refers to long term/serious relationships. I had a GF say "I've only been with 8 guys." And she was in her mid 50's! She was NOT counting the 1 night stands, the drunk hookups, etc,etc. After we broke up (3 years ago) she's been with at least 4 boyfriends since me. (And let's not count the drunken 1 nighters or hooking up with a guy she THOUGHT liked her! So she's at LEAST averaging 2 guys a year or more. Do the math....Yeah right....
Was she not counting hookups, or was she just lying when she said 6?
The large majority of men say their count is significantly higher than it is. The large majority of women do the opposite.
Most women don't count hookups or one night stands, especially as they get older I find out. The deception makes them feel better inside I guess. Once you lie, I tend to not trust anymore, so bye bye...
Dude, the number resets every time they decide to be a born again virgin.
Reminds me of that scene from Clerks.
37?!?
Past behavior predicts future behavior.
People, read and ponder this insight as truth.
Put two people together with high body counts, they will always be mistrusting and suspicious of one another. I know of couples like this and they are always accusing each other and checking their phones. Not a comfortable relationship and not a happy one either.
I'm glad you put at number one the ability to commit. This has definitely been confirmed by research. When it first came out (I can't remember which university, but I seem to recall it may have been Canadian) there was a bit of an outcry among feminists who accused the report and the researchers of misogyny. So other research was done, but only confirming the first research. What you did not say, but is also a part of the research - and why it received such opposition from feminism - is that they researched both men and women and found that the ability to pair bond was not as impaired among the men. In other words, when a man feels he has the right partner, he will commit for life unless something happens to cause him to doubt reason for commitment, but this is not the case with women as they are more affected by their past.
I absolutely agree, though, that a virtuous woman will want to find an equally virtuous man. It doesn't affect her as much as hypergamy (which is not something I complain about because it would be as stupid as complaining that a cloudless sky is blue) but it's right up there.
When I was recently out of school i found myself attracted to a homely coworker (she was in the main office i working remotely not us together in the same room) i found out we had the exact same work schedule and lived near eachother and I felt i didn't deserve a "princess" so i asked her out to receive a big no.
After a long time talking she said she would have been glad to call me her boyfriend up until she discovered the carousel in college.
"My standards went way up, and, unless he's built like a hockey player...i just can't (get excited)" (she was chubby then and a walrus now) (Koo-koo kachu lol).
I realized then that once a woman has been with a bunch of guys she is now forever into the most hunky only.
She wasn't the only one to prove the point. Had close hot female friends who over time spilled the beans that each partied with hotshot guys and they instantly lost the ability to see average guys like myself as worth anything.
I've found the same, but in reverse. I'm not that tall at 5ft 8in but I'm well-built. It's very obvious that I've been working out for years. Women assume from looking at me that I have a harem I go around in rotation and it's clear they wish to join it. They never did this with me before I hit the gym a few years ago. They're disappointed when I tell them I don't do anything with women. They'd rather share me with other women than anything monogamous with a single guy.
Yup
chad only
Omg u hit the nail on the head on all counts. Having been in a relationship with a girl with an exceptionally high body count..I concur on all 5. Great job and thank u for the insight!
For me it isn't just body count. It's the circumstances. I'll give an example:
I met a girl at 21 with 3 previous partners. A 2yr boyfriend age 18-20 (obvs no problem), at 20 a guy who she slept with a couple of times after nights out as part of their group with no intention of dating him (bit skanky but no major deal) then a final one that really repulsed me. A guy who was the friend of her friend's date. She didn't want to go out with him, but they had a sex arrangement. After nights out on a weekend they'd have sex, but the part that really repulsed me was this: he'd pick her up from work on her dinner hour, bang her in the car then drop her back off at work. Her colleagues knew. He'd also pick her up from the road near her parents house (where she lived), have sex with her down a nearby dirt track (didn't even take her home) then drop her back near her parents house once they'd done.
The whole thing just left me thinking "if she was so cheap to him, why would I consider anything long term. She's set her price for intimacy to the world- absolutely 0. No hope of commitment, respect, not even a date or even a bed. Just an hour in his car down a dirt track".
I'd rather have a woman with 15 previous relationships than that. It really repulsed me.
Funny you would mention STDs, probably the single greatest reason I have consistently refused casual opportunities is this, I’ve travelled all over the world and into areas where sex could be bought for next to nothing, but wasn’t even tempted because of the risk. I’m an “almost” teetotaller, by choice, I get up early and exercise, I don’t like hangovers, I don’t like loss of control, I don’t like the damage alcohol has been proven to do, so clubs, pubs or bars aren’t my preferred venue. I’ve never heard of the “re-wire” hypothesis, I’d be interested in a citation. My sneaking hunch is a high body count is indicative of a very damaged self image with a lowish intelligence or psychiatric issues and that I wouldn’t probably be attracted to the type anyway. I realised some time ago, my type are all in happy long term relationships and not on the market, I missed the window.
In my opinion, body count not only tells you about that person's choices and judgement, but also about what they think of, and how they value, relationships. The higher the count, the lower the value I would think they would see in a relationship. A high count may also indicate low faithfulness, and easily getting bored with things that are the same, as well as general impulsiveness. Not something I would want in the woman I am looking to be my wife, the manager of my household, and the mother of my children. The worst case would be they're just interested in a transaction, not a relationship, and they'll discard and replace you as soon as they think they've rung you dry. If a woman is in her 20s or 30s and her body count resembles her age, she might have a 'discard and draw' mentality, meaning she's more likely to discard you to draw her next. Sometimes they have multiple partners at once. You just never know.
A woman with a high body count could easily lie about it, but she'll give herself away in the way she acts. Question is how fast.
Same goes for men . The exact same reasons men give for not wanting a woman with a high body count apply to them also .
Stop making excuses , men with high body counts also have the same issues in the list in this video. It’s enough that a man should be able to say that don’t like a high body count. You don’t need any reasons . They all sound hypocritical anyway .
My reasons:
1. Lack of shared values. I'm a Christian and a virgin.
2. Sharing the love of my life with someone disgusts me.
3. More bodies means more emotional and spiritual baggage and weakened ability to pair bond physically.
4. A sign of discontentment and hypergamy in a person.
5. Bad role model for our children.
6. Loss of innocence. I'm attracted to innocence.
7. Lack of foresight and bodily control.
8. Selfishness.
9. I just think sleeping with lots of people is gross.
10. Not attracted to easy women.
11. Might be an indicator of liberal or socially progressive politics.
12. Lack of personal accountability, especially if they don't see anything wrong with it.
All of those plus the rampant STD's out there.
You sound awfully immature and insecure. Don’t worry it’ll pass probably sometime in your mid to early 20s so don’t worry just focus on graduating middle school for now, kiddo!
Just letting you know this so it doesn't come as a surprise, only 3% of women actually wait for marriage to have sex, only 3%, so when a women tells you she is waiting for marriage to have sex, is more likely she means, she will only have sex with you if you marry her, but she will be having sex with other random dudes.
For me you forgot one: self-control. High body count means they have no self-control and self-control is necessary for a happy life and relationship.
im a 42 year old man and from experience a woman with a high body count ends in disaster. But the part that hurts me if since coming to Christ Jesus, and now im divorced, i am in search of a woman with a low body count bc it does mean alot to me. Pair bonding i think is that number 1 reason but i would be a hypocrite bc i myself have slept with around 30 women in my life and i regret it highly :( I just want a high valie, low body count woman with Christian morlas and values that I cna rasie a family with obviously connect with. being 42, its very hard to find a lets says 35 year old woman who loves God, has no kids and has a low body count.
I agree. I broke up with my ex due to her number and how she acted by just asking a simple question. I had no shame in telling her it was 2 and it took teeth pulling for her to tell me about her 18. It wasn't the number that fully turned me off but how she responded and overall attitude. Fast forward to being in my 30s now. She has 3 baby fathers now and produce 5 kids. So I may have dodged a bullet. These days if I choose try to meet someone, I make it a point to ask them their count along the way. Just a personal preference.
I had a woman tell me 6 one time. It was more like 50. And my sister's ex husband just happened to be one of them. She married a truck driver before I dated her, and 1 week to the day before she was to be married to that guy, she put on full makeup, her wedding dress and went and f'd another guy wearing everything she would 1 week later wear to her wedding. Women with high body counts are evil. They simply do not care about how anyone but them feels.
Believe it or not this is a huge problem at schools, we cannot send out letters to "the parents" anymore because caregivers and single mothers are the majority now. Those 5 kids sooner or later end up being looked after by family while she goes out clubbing. I'll never forget the one mom drunk out of her mind sleeping in her car in the parking lot during the day with a bottle of wine still in her hand.
One woman blurted out to me pretty much out of nowhere over dinner that she'd had 7 partners. Oh, OK I thought. I suspect it's many, many more than that from what she'd done me of her wild party life from her early teens and that she's got 2 kids from 2 baby daddies. No, I didn't ask her out, we'd been on a day out with others at a demo and needed food at the end of a long day.
@@EE12CSVT She didn't finish the thought. 7 partners. She wants you to assume it is 7 total. But it could be 7 this year, 7 this month, 7 this week... Or some of these women go hard now, 7 at once...
Is it even possible for a woman to have a body count below 18 at the age of 16????
Main reason (your last reason) is that high body count means a greater likelihood of a woman conditioning herself to wear emotional armour in relationships to avoid getting hurt. Over time, this turns into a lack of an ability to form deep and stable long term emotional bonds (affects the release of the bonding hormone which is essential for long term monogamy / commitment). In short this is why women leave men if they don't get attention from them all the time (a requirement to work late for more than a few days / drama from in laws or close friends requiring the hubby to spend more time with them can trigger separation / cheating without a strong bond).
Without a deep emotional connection, women will only stay with their man if they are getting what they need at all times / and will be much less willing to sacrifice if the hubby's situation requires it at the time.
Modern divorce law incentivises separation / divorce for women and has created a culture that if you have put in time with a guy that entitles you to choose to dump the guy and force him to support you and your kids for the rest of your life, often permanently ruining his finances and stopping him from being able to afford another family despite losing access to his kids in the divorce. These guys (unless they are very wealthy) often live very crappy depressing lives alone and sometimes choose to die early as a result. Only defense a guy has is the strength of the emotional bond, it is everything.
As an afterthought, wanted to mention: I have friends who have gone through the divorce with kids thing, never ends well for the guy and leaves the guy a shell of himself. Those of us who have seen it, it leaves an impact.
You’re thinking proximally though. The actual ultimate technical reason is that’s it’s a psychological adaptation. It’s an instinct that helps men deal with paternity uncertainty. It’s basically part off the male variant of sexual jealousy.
"Women will only stay it they have what they needs all the time" : yeah and they are RIGHT. Yes its hurts when its not only about your selfish needs right ? Men are too used to have their needs first... Relationship is also about women needs. Glad the experience helps women to open their eyes. Deal with it.
@@danslavallee Male needs are very small in comparison to female needs... females are top consumers, lifestyle seekers, not mentioning hypergamous nature etc...
And if you check singles nowdays, women being able to live like an adult (working and taking care of own bills, repairs, changing tire) is HUGE accomplishment, however for man it's basic expectation.
This is why in Proverbs 31 it says that the Virtuous Wife does good to her husband ALL the days of her life. She saves herself for him even before they meet.
Well, the problem with that is that the French girl that I sleep with and I would have been a distant memory if things had been done_your_ way. We met in a train station and she was with another boy. Now, the other boy was guarding her like a pigeon. I swooped in like a hawk and I grabbed her out from under him. The other boy is now the distant memory and the squab caught the worm - - so to speak.
To my thinking, girls, today, should just find a boy they like and make babies with him. Don’t over think it. Over thinking reproduction is causing the population to crash and burn. All these so-called great people are not being re-produced. I’m not saying that couples shouldn’t be devoted to their families. I’m just saying that passion (..and a baby) has to come, first. The problem today is less about finding devoted boys than finding girls that know what love is.
I don't want to be disrespectful to anybody, few offensive men have told me that when man deposits his seeds in the women it effects her "biologically" and remains in her body all their life. They also said the higher the body count the less she will hold on to long-term relationships. I do not agree with these statements.
Its honestly simple, high body count means no self respect. This goes for men too. You're self indulgent and are a slave to your desire, that makes a bad life partner.
What you said. Nothing interesting to say, but merely commenting to boost the OP.
I made a bad life partner before I was honest with myself about my need for sex. I am very strongly motivated by sex and pursuing qualities that would make me sexually attractive such as being fit, pulling a good paycheck, and not being a drunken need scrimping by off my parents, and the government have vastly improve my life for the better, including my relationships with other people. Motivation and sobering up getting fit and finding a job was to get laid more, but it ended up not only getting me laid, but making my life vastly better and making me a much better man in the process. Quit your prudery.
@Mortablunt Maybe you're unusual? Just because you cleaned up your act to attract women doesn't necessarily mean you've become a good partner. Are you now in a loving LTR? How long for?
nope. Men improve with experience, women degrade with use
@@ShaunHensley all guys i know that live with this mentality are severely underdeveloped and never have money. I wonder why.
Hi, Em. I'm a man who doesn't really care about a woman's body count (this will depend on her psychology/personality, of course). One point you forgot to mention is the man's sexual confidence. A man will be unable to help wondering how he compares to a woman's previous lovers if he knows her body count is high. My sexual confidence is already extremely high. Therefore, I have a pretty good Idea how I stack up, since most dudes *ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT EVERYTHING* from foreplay to aftercare.
I think this is a good point. I think masculinity requires knowing she's inexperienced. To my mind, it's just because it's the dominant role. Not because it hurts his feelings, but because he can't play a confident game in that context.
It only matters for a long term relationship. Someone with 12 jobs over the past year isn't a good candidate to hire. Either they were getting fired or kept quitting.
I never ask, and I don’t wanna talk about it. There are two main reasons. The first is, of course, the high likelihood that a woman’s sexual history is not completely consensual. She shouldn’t be punished or judged for being victimized. The second is that some women regret their behavior in the past, and want to change. Why reject someone who is trying to change, because you’re unable to see them as anything more or different than who they were in the past? It’s not about the number; it’s about who she is when she is with you.
One vitcms dont get judged thats a whole thing on its own next i dont care is she is has changed she is not right for me i will wish her egood luck and good bye
What a challenging situation that we have currently in the world as men. I met a woman for a first date that had slept with multiple men. She admitted it and wore it like a badge. I was appalled and shocked. I said, to her, after dinner that I wish her luck and promptly left. I just want an honest and low body count woman that respects her body and her boundaries. Not the barfly and “ho” attributes that many present.
My God.
They ALL wear it like a badge. It's a point of pride now. They have no shame left.
Interesting topic, Emily... One thing not mentioned is the space between relationships with the ladies... I've noticed many pretty girls are almost never without a man. Many men, however might go for years between relationships. How does one heal in-between when there's no in between??? Hence the cumulative damage within the female psyche...
@@georgeelder8415 Women are never really single.
@@Christian_Martel Enjoy getting the Clap dude.
As someone whos been with a couple very high body counts, theres a reason it didnt work out. Yes I got very hurt but I learned so much because of it, it was worth it for the wisdom I gained. Best piece of advice I can give is when she tells you her number (multiply x3) and if those red flag alarms are sounding in your head and its wrenching your gut, follow them and run away. Both were a very dysfunctional relationship, in the back of my mind the whole time was disgust, resentment towards them, at times it would turn me off during sex, then I let it eat away at my confidence and esteem level "shes had bigger/better than me, etc". A very unhealthy mentality to develop. And since those things happened in my life I will not give a high body count wahman a second of my time no longer. Being a 304 doesnt turn me on. Purity and virtue does.
I wouldn't want her to compare me to others that she's been with before.
The tricky thing is you can't just ask a girl her body count, what if she lies and says it's zero?
It's not a good idea to just ask out of nowhere or soon after meeting her...
When someone seems prone to looking for love in all the wrong places, it’s a real concern whether they will be able to succeed in a healthy long-term monogamous relationship.
Having been raised in catholic no sex before marriage environment I grown to hate it. I was thinking it makes no sense. But then seeing women that do not enjoy family evenings and exoect husband to take her dancing all night frequently - I become suspicious.
What you're saying makes absolute sense, despite religion having similar view. It's reasonable and facts based.
Having body count of only 2 in my 40s no longer is an issue for me. I am loyal, what can I say..
I really wish I could go back in time and say no one last time. And head off that entire sequence of events in my life. And quit smoking and drinking back then to find someone who was truly worth marrying, and losing my vriginity to my wife, as I'd originally planned.
I'm not giving people one single damn chance at all anymore. *No one* is getting into my life and I'm not listening to what *anybody* else has to say to me at this point after the last couple decades of complete bullshit. What I could've done best is completely ignoring everything anyone else had to say about anything and sticking to my guns instead.
u dont have the adamages to yoru ability to emottionaly bond due to seggsual liberalism, because because ur a man... it takes more phsycal intimayc with the same woman to become emotionally attached to one of the women. for women, it happens quikcly, which is why its more common in women doing the same stuff.
Fun fact: religion figured out a lot of practically useful things thousands of years before science did. Like washing your hands. The myths may not be exact, but the lessons are still useful.
it makes no sense when you're young and hormones are raging, but it makes perfect sense when you're old and you see the damage it's caused
perspective as a man: If a woman is difficult to get when she's single, she will be impossible to get when she's married. That doesn't mean deliberately try to be difficult, just the dating process is the difficulty enough for men. When men see that a woman is easy to get when she's single that means there could be a chance she will cheat in a relationship.
Ok, there are 2 separate considerations here, a man who just wants to hook up, or a man who really is looking for marriage. For a man who is just looking to hook up, body count means nothing. For a man who is looking for marriage there is NOTHING more important than body count. Here are the reasons why: 1.) marriage will fail if a woman has been around too much because she'll never be satisfied. 2.) men are disgusted by disease ridden saloon prostitutes, modern women are worse than that. 3.) Men want to experience everything with their spouse for the first time, all relationship things, not just bedroom. 4.) Men want to build a life with an inexperienced woman. Basically, if you are an 18 year old virgin, all men will want to marry you. If you are a modern woman, all men will play with you, but be disgusted about the notion of marrying you.
Any man with any degree of self respect cares about body because down the road we want to make a family and it's a helluva lot easier to raise a family when a woman is a good role model.
I think the role model thing is overhyped because unless the wife tells your daughter “I slept with a bunch of men that never loved me and you should too”, there is no way for your daughter will ever find out her mother’s body count. Even if the mother did sleep around in the past, she’s probably not going to tell her children that and there’s a really good chance she regrets it and is maybe ashamed of it.
A ‘good role model’ is someone who makes their own choices and encourages others to do the same. Merely having a ‘high body count’ doesn’t mean that a person (female or male) was a passive agent in the encounter, and there are plenty of people (again, female or male) who have made chosen an active and varied sex life.
I used to think this subject didn't matter much when I was younger, but I grew to realize a few things. One of them being, it isn't as much about what the woman is like afterwards. It is more about what she isn't like, and it is about exclusivity. That starts with virtue. Virtue isn't simply a matter of cleanliness or innocence. Some women think they simply wash themselves clean and the problem is gone, or God forgives them, and so should their eventual life partner, so then they are counted as clean and innocent, and the problem is gone. However, it isn't that simple, and here is why.
We have a longing that never goes away for something to be uniquely ours, if we feel like it isn't somehow. I don't prefer to compare people to inanimate objects, but unfortunately there aren't many alternatives, and they have enough of a similarity to still be useful and applicable. I like to compare it to having a home that was custom built for you, with you being the first and only owner, and occupier, and comparing that with buying a home previously owned and occupied by someone else. This seems to indicate that it is simply a matter of cleanliness, but here is how it isn't, since humans have dynamics that inanimate objects don't.
When it comes to human experiences, there is no cleaning away memories or feelings, and how each experience changes you as a person. Things rarely ever feel like they do the first time you do them, ever again. This isn't simply a sexual thing either. If you compared a woman to puzzle, men want to solve their wife's puzzle, not pick up the broken pieces, and find the missing pieces, that are scattered to the wind, or feel like we are left longing for the pieces she will never let us see. This may be due to old wounds she is reminded of, or it could be shame, or old feelings she doesn't want to feel. It isn't a matter of solving the puzzle to manipulate the woman either, which some would immediately think. It is about getting the opportunity to experience for the first time, what a woman likes and doesn't like, sharing those feeling with her when she does, as opposed to her and Chad having an incomplete and cheap thrill, that ruins things thereafter. There is something to be said for the bond that develops between two people that results from being uniquely and exclusively each other's. If a virgin man marries a former 304 and he wants to experience all of the things he possibly could and enjoy his partner in every way, but she is unwilling or reluctant to, already knowing what she wants and doesn't want, and all he is left with is what she wants or is willing to try, it leaves him feeling want and like he is robbed. I truly believe this could be a catalyst for a man to either want a divorce or even to cheat, because he feels so robbed.
Also, if a woman truly feels that getting to experience her lustful fling with Chad is so important and that he is too cute to resist, how is settling for the beta male later in life, so that her immediate needs are met, ever going to TRULY satisfy her? To me, this is a catalyst for her to cheat or seek validation and confidence through someone else, where the grass is perhaps greener. Why should a reasonable man accept a life with a woman that he feels he can't truly satisfy, since she didn't get what she wanted, and he doesn't live up to that standard? How can he have any self-respect, if he feels he is a used, cheap alternative, and he does it anyway because, his only other options are loneliness or a woman that he doesn't really want to look at? That is a tough pill to swallow for a man, that he shouldn't be forced to swallow. This is exactly what happens when women decide to shop themselves around. Frankly, it is a slap in the face that was never deserved. Life itself has plenty of other cold, cruel realities to slap us in the face, without that being added on. Unless he is a total cuck, men have no interest in playing second fiddle to another guy, when it comes to women. I think that is hard for women to wrap their minds around, past seeing it exclusively in a sexual context and that problem simply doesn't go away, as long as she isn't having a relationship with both of men at the same time. Truthfully, we never stop relating our experiences with someone, to another situation. There is nothing like being punished in a relationship, for what your spouse's ex did to them. Believe me I know.
If you think men are superficial for wanting a woman they really want to look at and appreciate looking at, ask yourself if it makes for good conversation, if you don't really want to look at the person or truly enjoy it? Also, do you want to be with someone who doesn't truly think you are beautiful, and he simply settled for you, since it is all he could get? This also applies to your heart and mind, not just your face, that will one day wrinkle and sag. DO you think a man wants to look at a wrinkly face he never really preferred to look at in the first place? Do you? If after reading this, if you think that I think it is ok for men to hoe around, please go back and try to reread it. Hopefully you fully understand afterwards.
Men understand the difference between Vanity and Virtue in our society. However the cultural sexual lifestyle of Eskimos and other isolated tribes, indicates that the body count issue is non-existent primarily because vanity does not exist and virtue means sharing ones woman or women to ensure livability of the tribe.
@@JandiFebie , thankfully our survivability doesn't interfere with my morals or my unwillingness to share my spouse. I am still wondering why you mentioned an outlier, as if it should justify what is otherwise filthy behavior, spreading disease and destroying family structure. If it was to one up my conclusion, you failed. If it was to strike up a conversation, I already spoke my peace.
Biggest issue with me would be baggage, and you can have that regardless of body count. Having spent the past 40 something years with the daughter of an acloholic...there's a baggage claim full of baggage to parse. I'm pretty sure my wife's body count = 1.
"A key that opens many locks has value, whereas a lock that is opened by many keys has no value", author unknown.
It is a lot easier for a woman to have any guy she wants. The reason we want someone with a low body count are a few:
1) She might have been with a guy who is better, stronger, taller and Bigger D. We don't want to compete with that.
2) She could mess around with anyone on the side and have a kid and pin it on the current boyfriend.
3) We want to feel like we matter. A woman that is only interested in us for the money makes us feel like we are just a wallet and not someone deserving of attention and acceptance.
Too many women bash on guys. One has to have the courage to go up to a woman, and that fear goes up the more attracted the man is towards that woman. It is crushing when a woman looks you up and down and flatly rejects you in an offensive manner. We are just tired and don't want to put up with all this shit. All the games.
How can a man feel different or special when a woman has already been around.
Edit: fixed some spelling errors
Very well said. Pair bonding is a big deal. Loyalty naturally seems lost when people have high body counts. Separating sex from love is the main culprit.
I hate to tell you no girl actually cares about dick size only men do to be honest a small one is a lot more pleasurable in bed just saying just be yourself and find a girl who wants the same lifestyle that you can provide or work together to provide. Honestly all women wanted for a man not to cheat on her that’s basically it we may say different things in public but that really all we really want it maybe you do the dishes after we cook that basically it and I date both men and women because I’m bi so I just thought you should know all that stuff you think that actually matters again and the girl is actually don’t matter if the girls truly loves you when a guy is going to learn that
These types come off as highly critical. They make their kind appear cruel... There is a harvest of reality coming for these types. Not our problem, gentleman...
@@markceci9896 pair bonding is a big deal, but how many guys have an attractive personality that will lead a woman to love them long term for it?? it's such a small percentage of men who have personalities like this.. Women leave men the majority of time because they eventually find him too boring, or they were in a transactional relationship in the first place and were never attracted to him.. I think we use this pair bonding high body count excuse for why relationships fail, when the real reasons a lot of them fail is because of the 2 reasons I said
@michaelangst6078 Actually, you just made my point. Women get bored, and they marry men that they are not attracted to. Or, they marry a "bad boy" and tame him. Men have always adjusted to do what will get them a great wife. We do what they want up to a point. Some men do anything for a woman and will usually bore her away. The men you speak of were old school dominant types or new school simps. Neither works. Find your formula....
When you get right down to it, this is why waiting till marriage was held in such high regard back in the day. But it wasn’t for men, it was for women, because sex affects women more than it does men.
Here is the biggest reason. If you are looking for life partner there is no reason to even attempt a relationship with a high body count person. It is widely known that it is practically impossible for them to pair bond with a person. Time after time these women either cheat or want an open relationship because they cannot bond to a one male and they become unhappy. It is frightening how many women are doing this and i pray that it will eventually seep into our culture how bad this hookup lifestyle is. I don’t understand how getting used for one night over and over is empowering. Even to the single men not looking for a life partner I recommend you avoid these hookup women due to their instability and unwanted drama that they bring with them.
As always, there are these “preferences” that sometimes seem not to matter and some people will simply dismiss, but when you stop to think about it, it’s obvious why they are reasonable.
I am going to apply the Marshmellow experiment to this topic."The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a study on delayed gratification in 1972 led by psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University.[1] In this study, a child was offered a choice between one small but immediate reward, or two small rewards if they waited for a period of time. During this time, the researcher left the child in a room with a single marshmallow for about 15 minutes and then returned. If they did not eat the marshmallow, the reward was either another marshmallow or pretzel stick, depending on the child's preference. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores,[2] educational attainment,[3] body mass index (BMI),[4] and other life measures." The real point here is about delaying gratification as an indicater of possible psychological disorders that impact relationships. The inordinate need for attention and validation coupled with an undisciplined approach to s3xual intimacy ("it's just sex") can lead to an inability to honor agreements of fidelity in relationships. If you listen to enough reddit stories (of which I am guilty of) the classic lines after being caught being unfaithful are "It didn't mean anything!" "We can fix this!" "It was only s3x. I only love you!" "It was a mistake!" The other point I want to make is that this widespread behavior seems to be justified with the notion that all men are promiscuous ignoring that it is quite easy for women to have many partners (gee...is that where the term "easy" in regards to females comes from?) but only the very top 5% of men can approach the double and triple digit body counts. Lastly, your first point about STIs can be expanded on in that women are just more biologically vulnerable to STIs in general....but as you indicated many uniformed think they can all be cured with modern medicine...and that is not true.
THB, it's a turn off because [desire for] high body counts are a masculine trait; it makes a woman come off more masculine to do the same
I can honestly say that I loved every lady I've been with. I accepted the fact that I may become a father.
There are two types of women, those you have fun with, date, etc... and those you marry; it is beyond me why a woman would chose to be the first rather then the later. Most men have a low body count, only perhaps, the top 1% of men get sex on a regular basis. The normal Joe on the street is sexless a lot of the time. PS: Men also want to ensure paternity which is why paternity test should be mandatory!
than* the latter*
Because our society went from having some sort of, call it what you like- standard, expectations, moral, etiquette- what ever, to not having it. Look around in recent society, modern movies, the media talk shows , they all push this idea of buy now pay later, instant gratification, get gain with no pain, no consequences for negative actions, no weaknesses except those you impose on yourself. Mostly all this stuff is aimed at women, i mean look at lead female characters in movies (especially disney, starwars, ) of the last 10 years- take Rae skywalker and compare to say 1970s Ripley.
This is an example of why people choose type one in your summary. It’s because society pushes it and sadly they learn its not very good too late. Unfortunately i think the next couple of decades will have a lot of sad people, only really after 10 years now are we seeing a sort of small backlash and fringe counter movement like this channel is one.
Everything coming from this channel would have been just common sense 50 + years ago. Now its like controversial
Thank you Emily ! I really appreciate your content. I have learned so much about relationships and human nature from life and it's good to have it confirmed. I tried to "fix" someone for many years (13) before I realized I was there, in the relationship, to grow personally and to learn about early childhood abuse and it's long term affects, one of them being a hard time being in a committed relationship. We both were able to grow some but overall the lack of deep trust could not be overcome. Niether of us could fully trust that the other. High body counts indicate , I think , in many cases some kind of abuse has happened leading to low self esteem, self hate and unhealthy attachment style It's a complex issue that requires dedication to heal from. . I'm 58 and recently found a wonderful woman, 46, who is still learning and growing and we are very happy, it's been a year. Thanks again Emily !
It's not necessarily self hate or self esteem issues either, but yeah it can indicate childhood sexual abuse, as well as severe psychological problems, mental illnesses, behavioral and conduct disorder, criminality, and substance abuse, all of which often go hand in glove with each other. The same is especially true for, frankly, being queer. I don't care how asshurt that makes people feel, you all know it's true, gay guys and bi girls can't commit for shit and usually they have all the previous things from substance abuse to emotional trauma to behavioral issues and lack of impulse control to mental illnesses.
I think what, you know what's really the saddest thing though is you sit there and see these people who really do genuinely and sincerely just want someone to love them, but often enough they then go and just fuck right up. And it's like, ok, so why in the fuck would you go out and do that then? Fuck no I don't trust you, you literally just violated someone's trust and then ask why your life is shit, that's why.
Very much on point, it’s difficult to take a woman with a high body count seriously. As men, we risk parting with half of our net worth with divorce and want to invest our resources into a woman who has a vested interest in working things out for the long haul and has a good track record. Would you rather hire somebody who’s had 20 jobs in the past 5 years or somebody who has been with their company for years at a time? Also, listening to a woman we’re considering as a potential mate going on and on about the men who have hurt her in the past and holding space for that lowers our attraction enough by itself to view her as a placeholder until a low body count woman comes along and blows her out of the water
I think #2 is a big one! The more bad relationships and bad breakups a woman has had, the more likely she is to bring unresolved trauma into the next relationship. I actually think this plays a big part of why, at least from a psychological perspective, men prefer younger women. A woman with fewer past partners is less likely to bring past trauma into a relationship and is more likely to have a more positive outlook on relationships and life in general.
SIMPLY PUT: Women are like sticky tape.
What?
Simple, put sticky tape against the wall, and it will form a very strong bond. Remove the tape and stick it back on the wall, it will stick but not that well. Do that four or five times....a gust of wind can knock it off.
nice analogy
And let me guess it’s fine for you to have 45+ from the past
@@Mortablunt No, both sexes should abstain from sex before marriage
@@Mortablunt 45? Amateur Number. For men, turn out the light, and Pu**y is all the same.
Married the virgin girl I dated in college 35 years ago, still married, kids are all outstanding.
@@konstantinosrope-maker1228 Abstaining from sex before marriage is like buying a car based on a walk around the exterior and the salesman's word before you drop $50,000. You wouldn't buy a car on the motivated words for a salesman not even seeing if it meets your needs for performance, comfort, handling, carrying, range and economy for yourself.
So why would you marry a woman, spending about $10,000 for the engagement and $40,000 further on the wedding, and on average $15,000 each year in assorted maintenances, gifts, and other expenses without knowing if the key thing a partner brings to your life, intimacy, is right?
You have friends for companionship, you can pay people to cook and clean for you, but the special role of your wife is sex. Does she give you sex worthy of about 1/3rd your income? How do you know?
And then the average marriage lasts 8 years. That's up to $120,000 after an initial buyin of $40,000. Are you really going to spend $160,000 without even trying something out?
Sex isn't everything, but when it isn't right, it's the only thing. A bad sex lif will destroy a marriage. Sooner or later, the partners are either going to stray if they aren't getting that proper satisfaction, or if it's really bad, someone's going to end up feeling they were "raped" and hate their partner. You can solve some issues, like a guy being a prejac, or the girl being frigid. You can't solve incompatible styles, like her needing rough sex to enjoy it, but him wanting slow and gentle lovemaking. Or even worse, someone who only really gets off from something the other person hates, like a girl with awful down there bouquet needing oral to finish.
And yes I've lived that. It's a horrible strangling death for a relationship.
Not making sure you're sexually right before making a huge and expensive commitment is like buying a house unvisited because the realtor made it sound nice.
Like some people have said it's a disgust thing. I was a virgin when I married my wife. However she had only 1 partner before me. For me the thoughts of sloppy seconds and the thought of some other guy had ejaculated in my wife bugs me every once in a while. We have been married for almost 22 years and the thoughts creep in maybe once or twice a year.
Pretty sure that's just a personal problem and being overly possessive. Aside from a woman's 'cherry' being popped, you would literally never know if she's a virgin or had sex with 100 men by look or by feel. It's all in your head.
I'm no psychologist, but if after 22yrs of marriage these thoughts still bother you, then that's not normal.
If you haven;t accepted your wife, warts and all, by now it's going to eat at you.
And if (just suppose) you're in an argument and ever throw that at her, that kind of thing is relationship destroying.
One previous partner is not a "body count". I'd suggest you ought to speak with someone ( not your wife) about why you feel this way still.
This feeling may be masking something else that is bothering you, like hidden jealousy that someone else was her "first" and not you.
You need to get this out of your system.
Would you feel that way of she was widowed?
This comment is a perfect representation of how sexually repressed and disturbed the guys here with this "purity" obsession are.
@@zapazap - whether or not a woman is widowed has absolutely nothing to do with promiscuity. Nothing.
High body counts equal the inability to pair bond BOTTOM LINE
I agree , but it works both ways , otherwise it’s hypocritical. Most men have a body count that would disqualify a woman in their eyes . I agree with all the reasons a woman should have a low body count but most of all it shows a whether a woman respects herself. I believe men have a right to say they just don’t like a high body count in a woman and that is enough . Stop making all these “ reasons “ when they are hypocritical. All those reasons in this list are the same for a man or a woman.
Imagine a man took you on an amazing trip to the Bahamas. Private yacht, snorkling with dolphins, tiki torch lit cabanas while counting the stars, etc. It'd feel pretty special right? Now imagine you're the 20th woman he took on the same trip. Not only does it not feel special anymore, it probably feels creepy and a bit like you've been tricked into a relationship that was never really on offer. Yea, the trip was great, but you'd much rather go with someone who actually cares about you.
Also, it's just a disgust reaction. Perhaps an evolutionarily ingrained response to all of the reasons mentioned in the video. But rationalizing why something is gross doesn't make it less gross. The Cleveland Show did a much more vulgar explananation that probably gets the point across more directly.
So you've got a lot of guys here wondering where they could find somebody like you...
Not you, just someone who has the insight and experience that you obviously radiate.
Maybe a video of helping guys get around/over the girl who is in their face and actually find the right person for them.
You can do it boys ♥️ love your work
Women who want to use men gravitate towards men that are easy to use. Be polite to women, but don't do anything extra for them. They will avoid you like the plague once they realize you're not a SIMP and move on to "greener pastures."
The only women still talking to you, if any, because they are rare, will be the ones that aren't trying to use you.
It is just like with men, the women other men want are the ones that never learn how to treat others, instead of learning how to own up to a mistake or fix and issue, or compromise, they just move on to the next man.
Typically, women who grew up in a traditional household, with an active father who isn't a SIMP, learn healthy traits. All the statistics back this up (children raised by single mothers vs children raised by single fathers or both).
Unfortunately, a larger percentage of women in the West, are not raised this way. As such, many Western men go overseas, where divorce rates are much lower. It's a good match, kind, Western men matching with kind Eastern women. If you pursue this, do thorough research. There are plenty of women in the East who will take advantage of you as well, if you are clueless. Also, the education system is usually better overseas, and for many of them English is mandatory in school. So, these women are smarter and have better common sense. They also tend to walk everywhere and use less ac in the summer and less heat in the winter, so they are mentally and physically stronger. If you go expecting to find some girl from an anime, you will be made a fool.
Best of luck. Be a good person and demand a good person in return.
Yup, same
Bottom line, men are allowed to set standards for themselves and don't need anyone else's approval.
I’m going to explain this in the simplest way and I’m sorry if this offends anybody. Why men do not want a woman with a body count, The answer is simple when you go into a car dealership do you wanna buy a new car or used one ???
Why do young people nowadays talk about their "body count" in such a casual way? As if they are proud of it. As if they are bragging about their baseball card collection - "I have 17 Pete Rose cards." And why are men admonished to *NOT* care about a woman's high body count, and if they do care that is "anti-woman."
Not that it matters much to me now since I'm happily married, but a high body count suggests impulse control issues and indicates someone who'll likely cheat on me. However, how and when the body count grew also matters. Someone who was the town bike in her early 20s and then spent a few years celibate and reevaluating herself, I would at least consider her, assuming she has dealt with her issues. However, if her body count was still increasing when I met her, then it would be a hard no. Then there's the concern for STIs...ugh.
It's gross. I despise promiscuity. Particularly promiscuous males.
That's a level headed approach. I think it is all situational and there are just no guarantees either way. People like a safe bet but I know how my libido is and I need someone compatible with that or I will be miserable or need out of the relationship. So balance and discretion is advised. 😂😂😂
Even a gal that is a virgin on your wedding night can one day get to wondering what sex with someone else might be like and I have seen good girls all of a sudden go off on a kick and decide they wanted to try new things. The early thirties and that seven year itch is one that I have personally noticed in my own life experience with women. Whether it is their sexual peak or something else they all of a sudden get real playful and start to wander and test the waters no matter the body count. So I guess the bottom line is do whatever makes you happy and comfortable because there really isn't any such thing as a safe bet in affairs of the heart and time spent with others in the the bedroom.
It very much matters to men. Women are trying so hard to tell us what we want. They convince each other in their little echo chambers that they are right that it convinces the weak men that it doesn’t matter. When women sleep around they don’t pair bond the way they are supposed to.
How would a woman feel about marrying a man with a high body count?
What about a man with a high body count and several children out there?
What about a man with a high body count, several children out there, and he's eyeball deep in paternity payments so that he has no money left?
Yeah, I'm sure that last one was the deal breaker.
Keep a strong frame, gentleman...
@protorhinocerstor142... Not necessarily, I have a coworker who married a girl he pursued for four years... He's paying for two kids from previous situations... She's a stay at home mom, he works two jobs...
@@georgeelder8415 it more than likely won’t work out in the long run. Even if she had a low body count she left the father of her kids. She will leave your friend
Perhaps I was unclear. The guy was a man hoar, I'm not aware of the wife's past. My friend and his wife have a great relationship. She only has kids with him...