She's right. 90% of our moms would never have chosen our dads if they'd had access to dating apps when they were younger. 60% of our dads wouldn't even have kids.
Back in the 90s there was way more slut shaming and therefore a lot more women would not have chad chased on dating apps if they existed. This is a gen-z problem.
Such a female-centric perspective. “There’s always like 55+ plus people you know in the back your mind you’re already matched with” Try being a guy on a dating app where you have to slave away at effort, plus be in the top percentile of men, plus organize your bio/photos effectively & attractively, just to get more than a few matches - usually for girls who put almost no effort in, expect everything, and assume their experience of “shopping for men” is the same for everybody That said, I like and appreciate the video!
We're not even evolved to be dating strangers at all. We're supposed to be dating people that we've already known for years. People we grew up with together in our tribe. The whole concept of dating strangers is an evolutionary mismatch.
not always true. there's some biological traits that make it so that the more often a human see's another human, the less interested they'll be in the other person sexually. Some people have those traits, and some people don't.
There were "exchanges" between tribes. It's called patrilocality and matrilocality : either the guy joins the other family, or either it's the woman, and you can immediately understand why they created "mariage" and laws about it because when someone leaves, you also lose workforce. But yeah we had not that much choices. When a tribe had too much women, a guy would marry his own sister. People think it was polygamy but it wasnt, as it was not by choice.
And even if you yourself didn't know them at a personal level, the older people in your family would already know of their family and its history in the community so there were no bad surprises later on.
Prior to the 50s, dating was never about finding a long-term partner and investing anyways--it was a social activity. So what has happened is it's HARD gone back to that original purpose, and dating apps have provided the catalyst to that. It's turned relationship-building into a Baskin Robbins (for women and the top percentage of men that all the women are clawing after....all other men are invisible). If two people TRULY want to have a relationship, they'd go for it. It's really that easy--you just decide and commit. I know from experience--with none of my girlfriends was there ever this whole "talking phase" crap or superfluous dates before we knew what we were in for. It was "i like you, you like me, let's go!". People think you're wasting your time by jumping in like that, when it's actually the complete opposite. You get straight to the point and work it out as you go along. That's part of what makes the bond tighter, with exception to extreme stuff like infidelity or legitimate abuse. What you're seeing is the after-effects of having too many options, particularly with women, because they're the gatekeepers. They're all playing the field and ending up with nothing.
This is why you don't choose a partner solely based on looks but on values. Does he share your values and believes? Does he want the same things out of life? Does he put family first etc.. When women spend 20 years chasing chad and career, they normally to end up single and childless.
@@jesuschrist5294 true. I find it extremely difficult to find a first date on a dating app. Ignored for months/years... but every date I've been on (3 dates) has been successful. So it's not really my personality that's the problem is it? It's the fact women are social status orientated; rather than personality orientated.
I have been telling women this for the last few years: Think of that couple you know who is the standard for the perfect relationship. You know, the ones who still hold hands after 50 years. If the woman had that list of nonsense that women on dating apps have, would she have even have met that guy??
To add to your point - if Steven was persistent in pursuing her in this modern dating climate he'd be labeled as something extremely negative (creep, stalker, etc.), ghosted and blocked everywhere and even have legal actions taken against him. All in all I agree with everything you said.
I think women radically overestimate their skill at choosing pictures. In truth, men are just less picky. Try it for yourself; upload some "Bad" pictures of yourself to a dating app and watch the matches roll in. Bonus points if you document it and upload the results to TH-cam.
Basically, a lot of men just use the dynamite fishing method, they click yes to all girls, delegating the choice to women, while those last ones pick up guys upon their feeling at the moment. It's statistics versus mood. A real "dating app" should limit your opportunities and almost choose for you, giving you a restricted panel of real matching possibilities. But hey, dating isn't their businessmodel, it's subscribing.
I think there is some truth in that, but also lost in dating apps is real life encounters that build towards a friendship that can become more. Many long term married couples from the pre-dating app era say they married their best friend and also the woman may say they didn't like their would-be husband at first, may have even said no to a date at first, but then the guy grew on them by being around more, seeing them more and showing they are really interested. Well, you can't do that as a guy on the dating websites. If a woman says no, it is over. No chance to 'win them over.'
Choice paralysis, or paradox of choice, occurs when humans are faced with a plethora of options. We are not evolved to deal with so many options, and our brains can't handle them. Too many options = what if there's something even better? What about the next guy?
Its because these apps are poking at the absolute worst part of the brain, especially for women, because women evolved to seek attention. And now they have it, all the attention the world. The most famous statistic from tinder is that 84% of women only swipe right on the top 4% of men. Also I would bet that the remaining 16% of women only swipe right on the 6% thats right below the top 4% of men. What ends up happening, is the women who don't end up with a top 10% guy, will never be happy. Even if they end up in a relationship, they'll never be satisfied. They'll never commit. They'll never put effort into the relationship. They'll forever be "leaving the door open" to other guys as they're dreaming of upgrading. These apps have demolished our civilization.
Everyone can identify a good photo... the problem is that women nowadays have access to tens of thousands of men.. so they only look at the top 10% ... the othr 90% can choose all the good photos they want... they will have very few matchs and probably will not be answered on the apps
You speak truth. Our ancient ancestors may have only interacted with a few hundred people in their entire life. The choices for potential mates were few. A very few.
We don't even have to go that far back. Just the 20th Century generations before Smart phones and all that. They met in real life, in school or at work and often the guy attempted to ask out the girl, sometimes she said no and the guy persisted and finally they girl accepted and it turned into a long term relationship. These days, how would that ever happen? Even in real life. If I meet a woman through work, let's say, and ask her out, if she says no, then what? I can't persist or else I come off as a creep. But that's how some married couples today started out! It started out with the woman saying no to a date or even thinking the guy they would eventually marry was goofy or brash or unattractive in some way.
"A boat's a boat. But the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat. You know how much we've wanted one of those." - Peter Griffin. That's a good analogy, I think, for modern women on the dating scene. "A good man is a good man. But the mysterious next dating app swipe could be anything. It could even be a good man. You know how much I've always wanted one of those." A question for women: If you find a good man, why, then, do you keep trying to continuously upgrade? You think you'll eventually hit it out of the ballpark and magically, unexplainably, land Leonardo DiCaprio, Chris Hemsworth, or Brad Pitt? Get real. It's a dangerous game and if you keep knocking on the devil's door long enough, sooner or later, someone is going to answer (i.e., lifelong singledom or having to settle for a Timmy that doesn't give you "the feels" the way the Chad that got away, once did). The grass isn't greener on the other side. It almost never is. You're not going to find Leo, ladies. You find a good man. Consider yourself lucky.
As a guy, I kinda wish I never messed with it. I spent hundreds of dollars and wrote at least a hundred women and got no response on several apps. It's a harsh way of learning that your really not that desireable. I mean I knew I wasn't a 10 by any means but getting the hit like that hurts pretty bad. I'll keep my hopes up that I'll meet someone eventually.
Don't let that leave a scar in you, brother. Most women nowadays, specially on dating apps, don't even know what they want. Improve yourself, be honest, be kind, go to the gym regularly, if you don't already, read good books, have fun, and try your max so your happiness doesn't come from other people.
A lot of good points here. The sad truth is, most people are visual creatures and looks do matter. Perhaps it’s not the main trait everyone looks for, but if you are prospecting for a mate (yup I used the word prospecting for a reason), and u know absolutely nothing about the person then most people are gonna place looks at the top of their priorities. And yes, I am aware there are words on dating profiles but in my experience, people upsell themselves like they’d do in a resume and words are hard to believe until u actually talk to them.
Looks start the attraction, but compatible personalities and values determine a short-term from a long-term relationship. Problem with dating apps is what Jenna was saying. Unnatural and too many other options. In theory, dating apps seems really rational. Like, I put up my picture, then I write a profile that says what I like, what I look for in a woman and then I approve of women who I see meet my criteria and then if we get a match that should mean we are already off on a great foot because we both agree we like what we see and we like their basic profile. But somehow, that doesn't work out much of the time. And I think it comes back to the unnatural, too many options, issue. The other part is that so many long-term relationships of previous generations have a story where the guy was rejected at first by the woman he would eventually marry. The guy had to persist. But these days, how do you persist as a guy if a woman swipes no? You can't. You can't win them over with humour, with little nice things you do for them in real life that build up a friendship that turns into more. That is gone out the window.
When I realized dating is all lust/vanity, I was like, nooooo.but youve a good point. Sociology is worth noting. Oh, the reason i went on a date site ( i dont know wt an app is) i ws seeing younger folk at work hooking up and happy. Im a 57 widower. So anyway. Just looking at the pretty farcesmade me happier. Chat was danger...
Problem is modern humans live our lives through a screen; men cannot demonstrate the qualities women are attracted to, strength, confidence, ability and personality.
What she is talking about is decision paralysis. This has been studied extensively, and this is precisely the reason sales people offer you 3 choices, not 5, not 10, not 20, not 50, because our brains are not designed t handle too many choices. I don't care if you go to Carmax with 1000 cars on the lot, a store with 500 different versions of what you are looking for, or go to a dating event with 50 women. Narrow it down to 3, then choose 1. When given this many choices, people will just keep swiping past 1000 people, and then swipe past the next 1000, because, in the back of their mind, there is always a better looking, smarter, taller, fitter, wealthier, more charming person who loves animals and is perfect in every way, just a few more swipes away. Then you pass 30, and then 40, and realize, my options have dwindled to zero, while I looked for perfection.
My grandparents have been together forever, and they probably love each other in some way... but they also definitely hate each other. Also a a guy it's definitely not 55+ matches 😂😂. But yea, dating apps are just not great generally. They make money by keeping you on the app, not helping you find a match.
The illusion of infinite choices is definitely a problem... That and unrealistic standards, so much of the Internet tries to convince us we will be that one in a million super success story, when there are literally 999,999 other stories that didn't end that way.
I met my ex-wife between sets at a show. I was the upright bass player in a country-folk band. Now that I am single again, I’ll try the same technique and see how that goes. While married I probably could have had a few dozen “side hustles” after the shows I played.
I regret to say...that I...agree with this assessment. I've had many relationships, and the ones from the dating sites lasted for only about...eight months at most...and yes, I can confirm that the last person I dated from a dating app was quite shallow, and expected me to be everything for them. That's the unfortunate reality. I don't think dating apps are the way to go for long-term relationship stuff, a quick hookup maybe. That said, be honest with people in person on what you are looking for in a relationship still, I have seen people saying 'oh people were looking for perfection' but it's okay to have some standards, like if you want children one day for example but your partner doesn't, that could be an issue.
Good point and one that's not brought up nearly enough. The problem with dating apps is that their use rewards narcissists and snake oil salesmen. People who are experts in manipulating how their public persona is perceived. Simple truth: *good people don't need that skill!*
In the past relationships were initiated by and dependent on legitimate social interaction. Not the "Social Interaction" that Zuckerberg and friends are serving up. Taking that out of the equation is problematic on every level. That one sentence explains all of the side effect issues that have come about in this new way of doing things incorrectly.
Evolved? Way I see it, too many people haven't even got round to growing up, still waiting for someone else to come along and fix their lives. Dating apps? They're not helping. (Still gonna like this though, figure that's just a nice thing to do. Thanks JM, enjoy all your stuff.)
@@cChrodinCc Oh really? And of course, you did. But I guess you're way too busy, or important, to share what you think IS "the point" underpinning Jenna's reflection. Or, deep down you know you haven't really got anything to say that's worth hearing, but your need to be the smartass overrrides all else. I don't know. What do you think?
I think the key is "nothing invested" in the 1st date. I try to make the other person (woman) invest time in phone conversations, driving to the restaurant not so near to her, though I do pay the check. Though, I'm still single, so wtf do I know ... but, I feel like I'm much more successful than the average guy. Nice video.
Its got NOTHING to do with a PHOTO!! A man has virtually ZERO chance of being 'liked' by a woman on a dating app, no matter what photo he uses!! Women have literally THOUSANDS of men to choose from, so it's 100% irrelevant what 'photo' he chooses!!
Barely any of us would be alive today if Tinder was a thing when our parents were around. I don't know who dating apps are for. I'm surprised dudes are even still on dating apps, if you're like 6 ft 4, then sure... go nuts, but any dude in that category is most likely running an entire roster of girls.
i think people blame evolution for anything and everything, we didn't evolve to do anything we are doing today from driving to sitting all day in the office working on a computer but we're doing it just fine. I think issue with dating apps is simply women being spoiled for too much choice, whether it's cake, clothes or men having to many options to choose from makes it difficult to pick one
In those days when people lived in villages, most women wouldn't even see more than 20 men in their entire lives. So, the best man ended up with the best woman, the second best paired up, the third best, and so on. The problem? We live in a society where everyone thinks they're the best person in the village, which makes absolutely no sense because we no longer live in villages. Ever heard those old 'outdated' expressions like 'respect your betters' or 'know your place'? What exactly do you think they were talking about? This concept of 'we're all equal, and no one's better than you' is new-no one thought that in the ancient world. The woman in the tribe who was a 6 was painfully aware that she was a 6, so when the guy who was a 7 took an interest in her, you better believe everyone made it crystal clear that she was the lucky one. But today? A girl who's a 3 is being told that she's a 10, and those Snapchat filters make her believe it. I know a girl who literally thinks she looks like she does in the pictures she posts on Instagram. And I'm just looking at her in person thinking, 'Lady, if you looked like you did on Instagram, I'd be trying to pursue you myself!' I have zero interest. Why? Because she looks nothing like she does on Instagram!
It's the illusion of choice. We were much better off when there were only 10-30 choices, not 10K. And then there's the illusion of keeping them, women used to date months before giving it up, to get to know them, they should go back to that.
Who the fk looks for marriage material on dating apps? I always thought those were for hookups. And IF the person you hooked up with happens to be marriage material it would be a bonus, not the expected outcome.
When I met my wife during college, I told her that I think she's beautiful, but while that is great, it is not that important to me. Because beautiful people exist in huge numbers throughout the world - but you couldn't even be friends with most of them - so deciding your future happiness based on beauty, is bound to fail.
Jenna, you nailed it! Evolutionary mismatch. As a still single guy who went through pre-dating app era, I had to swing and miss A LOT with women I'd met in class or at work or in the community somehow. In some universe those dates would have turned into long-term relationships, like they did with other couples who met like that and it worked out. Later in life, using dating sites, I've dated, none of them have been long-term. The missing ingredient is meeting someone in real life and developing a friendship that becomes more. You cannot do that on dating apps. Like you and me, even if we lived in the same place and liked some of the same things. It probably wouldn't work out. There is no organic history there. But I wish you well, hope you do find that compliment to your life. If not, be single with hopefully good mental health. That is better than being in a bad relationship. Cheers!
Very true. The dating apps are an astronomical hypergamy accelerant. Rick and Morty did an insightful episode on this, except it gave an unrealistically balanced picture of men's general opportunity in the process; in reality only a relative few get most of the action. Anyway, quick, someone woo this lovely girl with a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and a night out square dancing at the apple harvest festival.
I grew up way before dating apps, but because I hated bars, I used online sites such as AOL and Facebook to meet women. I was even married to a woman for 8 years that I met on an online game. I dont see modern dating apps to even come close to social media sites. Its literally "oh I like this picture so we must be a match" which is patently absurd.
Ouch, she just totally burned the superficiality of modern dating apps with one line... burn! Sign her up for a logic and deductive reasoning class... "other than the fact then they can't seem to identify what a good photo of themselves is, but that's not like a quality you care to... marry" Congratulations, you picked an A-1 winner who's shining skill was picking out a good photo of himself or herself. Like, wow. That's a bankable skill... The sad thing is programmers weren't out to destroy the dating landscape forever, or in a terribly negative way... we were actually trying just to make something fun, make it easier to connect with others, and maybe just maybe get a return on it for all our hard programming work. Well, most of that seems to have backfired. In the beginning, it did what we intended... it was fun and helped people connect outside their little local frog holler... but we had no clue about the morphing long term dark side that lay beneath...
A girl who talks about Turing test, evolution... I'm in love😍 That aside, 100% agree, no dna "smells" your body couldn't tell how far or closely related u are, it determines true attraction. Ever wondered why two strangers from other ends of the earth who came together in the middle of nowhere, can't even communicate through language, could spend time together laughing like mad, fall in love and know how to find each other at odd times and places just because they happen to be in close proximity at one time? Follow your receptors, it starts slow about a couple of hours but it'll always guide you in the blind (and more powerful than any apps)😊
Dating apps seemed like a good idea, but there is no substution for experiencing the potentional mate in person. School, work, sports, church and social events were the ways of our parents and are proving to still be the best today
at 2:15, you say "it is effective for many" I don't think that's true. perhaps the primary criteria being used to judge if they're effective or not is the increasing number of couples meeting from online dating. that to me is less indicative of the effectiveness of dating apps and more so the death of "third places" which has been fueled by car-dependent infrastructure
this girl is really cute. with that aside, i do think is right about a lot. problem is, everyone is constantly trying to get the best of the best. girls want the closet, tallest, smartest, best looking guy all while those same guys are trying to get girls that are probably hotter than her. i know guys will swipe right on every in hopes to get some type of match and then look over her profile to figure out if he wants to pursue or not. dating apps suck
You women just compare men too much, and women who go on a lot of dates with different guys is a big turn off, her looks don't even matter at that point things like that kill our inspiration to talk to women.
Instead of holding yourself accountable for your poor love life, you blame dating apps and evolution. I know people who’ve rarely ever used dating apps but have met many partners the old fashioned way - in person, doing fun activities with friends and just living life. Nobody is forcing you to use dating apps. And there’s nothing stopping you from meeting people in person.
"When you're married you see them in person mostly, you don't really see pictures of them all the time" I'm married and this is complete ignorance. People, do NOT settle on partner with zero sense of framing like I did.
She's right. 90% of our moms would never have chosen our dads if they'd had access to dating apps when they were younger. 60% of our dads wouldn't even have kids.
Back in the 90s there was way more slut shaming and therefore a lot more women would not have chad chased on dating apps if they existed. This is a gen-z problem.
The elites do it on purpose, they want to delete humankind
society wont survive then lol no incentive
Hypergamy on steroids.
@@selohcin yet women are "oppressed and struggling" lmfao this world
Such a female-centric perspective. “There’s always like 55+ plus people you know in the back your mind you’re already matched with” Try being a guy on a dating app where you have to slave away at effort, plus be in the top percentile of men, plus organize your bio/photos effectively & attractively, just to get more than a few matches - usually for girls who put almost no effort in, expect everything, and assume their experience of “shopping for men” is the same for everybody
That said, I like and appreciate the video!
We're not even evolved to be dating strangers at all. We're supposed to be dating people that we've already known for years. People we grew up with together in our tribe. The whole concept of dating strangers is an evolutionary mismatch.
not always true. there's some biological traits that make it so that the more often a human see's another human, the less interested they'll be in the other person sexually. Some people have those traits, and some people don't.
There were "exchanges" between tribes. It's called patrilocality and matrilocality : either the guy joins the other family, or either it's the woman, and you can immediately understand why they created "mariage" and laws about it because when someone leaves, you also lose workforce.
But yeah we had not that much choices. When a tribe had too much women, a guy would marry his own sister. People think it was polygamy but it wasnt, as it was not by choice.
And even if you yourself didn't know them at a personal level, the older people in your family would already know of their family and its history in the community so there were no bad surprises later on.
Women have been taught that dating a friend is dangerous, so that avenue is completely closed now.
Prior to the 50s, dating was never about finding a long-term partner and investing anyways--it was a social activity. So what has happened is it's HARD gone back to that original purpose, and dating apps have provided the catalyst to that. It's turned relationship-building into a Baskin Robbins (for women and the top percentage of men that all the women are clawing after....all other men are invisible). If two people TRULY want to have a relationship, they'd go for it. It's really that easy--you just decide and commit. I know from experience--with none of my girlfriends was there ever this whole "talking phase" crap or superfluous dates before we knew what we were in for. It was "i like you, you like me, let's go!". People think you're wasting your time by jumping in like that, when it's actually the complete opposite. You get straight to the point and work it out as you go along. That's part of what makes the bond tighter, with exception to extreme stuff like infidelity or legitimate abuse.
What you're seeing is the after-effects of having too many options, particularly with women, because they're the gatekeepers. They're all playing the field and ending up with nothing.
This is why you don't choose a partner solely based on looks but on values. Does he share your values and believes? Does he want the same things out of life? Does he put family first etc.. When women spend 20 years chasing chad and career, they normally to end up single and childless.
yeah but if you don't pass the looks check, yo don't get the chance to prove values.
@@jesuschrist5294 true. I find it extremely difficult to find a first date on a dating app. Ignored for months/years... but every date I've been on (3 dates) has been successful. So it's not really my personality that's the problem is it? It's the fact women are social status orientated; rather than personality orientated.
I have been telling women this for the last few years: Think of that couple you know who is the standard for the perfect relationship. You know, the ones who still hold hands after 50 years. If the woman had that list of nonsense that women on dating apps have, would she have even have met that guy??
She probably would’ve met him, she just likely wouldn’t have CHOSEN him
To add to your point - if Steven was persistent in pursuing her in this modern dating climate he'd be labeled as something extremely negative (creep, stalker, etc.), ghosted and blocked everywhere and even have legal actions taken against him. All in all I agree with everything you said.
I think women radically overestimate their skill at choosing pictures. In truth, men are just less picky. Try it for yourself; upload some "Bad" pictures of yourself to a dating app and watch the matches roll in. Bonus points if you document it and upload the results to TH-cam.
Basically, a lot of men just use the dynamite fishing method, they click yes to all girls, delegating the choice to women, while those last ones pick up guys upon their feeling at the moment. It's statistics versus mood. A real "dating app" should limit your opportunities and almost choose for you, giving you a restricted panel of real matching possibilities. But hey, dating isn't their businessmodel, it's subscribing.
I think there is some truth in that, but also lost in dating apps is real life encounters that build towards a friendship that can become more. Many long term married couples from the pre-dating app era say they married their best friend and also the woman may say they didn't like their would-be husband at first, may have even said no to a date at first, but then the guy grew on them by being around more, seeing them more and showing they are really interested. Well, you can't do that as a guy on the dating websites. If a woman says no, it is over. No chance to 'win them over.'
men are less picky + men don't use makeup + men don't use photoshop/filters
Women can literally have no profile pic or a flower pic to get 100+ matches.
Men aren't "less picky", they're just realistic. Women ain't.
Choice paralysis, or paradox of choice, occurs when humans are faced with a plethora of options. We are not evolved to deal with so many options, and our brains can't handle them. Too many options = what if there's something even better? What about the next guy?
Women have a plethora of options.
Specially the young and beautiful.
Its because these apps are poking at the absolute worst part of the brain, especially for women, because women evolved to seek attention. And now they have it, all the attention the world. The most famous statistic from tinder is that 84% of women only swipe right on the top 4% of men. Also I would bet that the remaining 16% of women only swipe right on the 6% thats right below the top 4% of men. What ends up happening, is the women who don't end up with a top 10% guy, will never be happy. Even if they end up in a relationship, they'll never be satisfied. They'll never commit. They'll never put effort into the relationship. They'll forever be "leaving the door open" to other guys as they're dreaming of upgrading. These apps have demolished our civilization.
It's 70/30 men/women. 98% of men on dating apps get 0 matches. So the whole thing is much worse than you can even imagine.
Everyone can identify a good photo... the problem is that women nowadays have access to tens of thousands of men.. so they only look at the top 10% ... the othr 90% can choose all the good photos they want... they will have very few matchs and probably will not be answered on the apps
@@TheBossnia very valid 🤔that’s another problem
And we are not persistent anymore, f that
You speak truth. Our ancient ancestors may have only interacted with a few hundred people in their entire life. The choices for potential mates were few. A very few.
We don't even have to go that far back. Just the 20th Century generations before Smart phones and all that. They met in real life, in school or at work and often the guy attempted to ask out the girl, sometimes she said no and the guy persisted and finally they girl accepted and it turned into a long term relationship.
These days, how would that ever happen? Even in real life. If I meet a woman through work, let's say, and ask her out, if she says no, then what? I can't persist or else I come off as a creep. But that's how some married couples today started out! It started out with the woman saying no to a date or even thinking the guy they would eventually marry was goofy or brash or unattractive in some way.
Women: "We don't pick men based on appearance." Also women: "Oh yeah, wrong pic on a dating app? You're toast, dude!"
+ Height
A picture of a carpet on a dating apps get's more matches than most men. . .
@@GreenLanternWillPower oh gosh this is so funny it made me laugh out loud 🫠😂 but I hear you!
Thanks. Good suggestion. I'll try that.
"A boat's a boat. But the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat. You know how much we've wanted one of those." - Peter Griffin. That's a good analogy, I think, for modern women on the dating scene. "A good man is a good man. But the mysterious next dating app swipe could be anything. It could even be a good man. You know how much I've always wanted one of those."
A question for women: If you find a good man, why, then, do you keep trying to continuously upgrade? You think you'll eventually hit it out of the ballpark and magically, unexplainably, land Leonardo DiCaprio, Chris Hemsworth, or Brad Pitt? Get real. It's a dangerous game and if you keep knocking on the devil's door long enough, sooner or later, someone is going to answer (i.e., lifelong singledom or having to settle for a Timmy that doesn't give you "the feels" the way the Chad that got away, once did). The grass isn't greener on the other side. It almost never is. You're not going to find Leo, ladies. You find a good man. Consider yourself lucky.
As a guy, I kinda wish I never messed with it. I spent hundreds of dollars and wrote at least a hundred women and got no response on several apps. It's a harsh way of learning that your really not that desireable. I mean I knew I wasn't a 10 by any means but getting the hit like that hurts pretty bad. I'll keep my hopes up that I'll meet someone eventually.
Don't let that leave a scar in you, brother. Most women nowadays, specially on dating apps, don't even know what they want. Improve yourself, be honest, be kind, go to the gym regularly, if you don't already, read good books, have fun, and try your max so your happiness doesn't come from other people.
A lot of good points here. The sad truth is, most people are visual creatures and looks do matter. Perhaps it’s not the main trait everyone looks for, but if you are prospecting for a mate (yup I used the word prospecting for a reason), and u know absolutely nothing about the person then most people are gonna place looks at the top of their priorities. And yes, I am aware there are words on dating profiles but in my experience, people upsell themselves like they’d do in a resume and words are hard to believe until u actually talk to them.
looks do matter, but in person. Not on a phone, based on some "bad" photo
Looks start the attraction, but compatible personalities and values determine a short-term from a long-term relationship.
Problem with dating apps is what Jenna was saying. Unnatural and too many other options. In theory, dating apps seems really rational. Like, I put up my picture, then I write a profile that says what I like, what I look for in a woman and then I approve of women who I see meet my criteria and then if we get a match that should mean we are already off on a great foot because we both agree we like what we see and we like their basic profile.
But somehow, that doesn't work out much of the time.
And I think it comes back to the unnatural, too many options, issue. The other part is that so many long-term relationships of previous generations have a story where the guy was rejected at first by the woman he would eventually marry. The guy had to persist. But these days, how do you persist as a guy if a woman swipes no? You can't. You can't win them over with humour, with little nice things you do for them in real life that build up a friendship that turns into more. That is gone out the window.
Women be swiping right on this video quick I bet
@@jessesteffan9834 😂😂
When I realized dating is all lust/vanity, I was like, nooooo.but youve a good point. Sociology is worth noting. Oh, the reason i went on a date site ( i dont know wt an app is) i ws seeing younger folk at work hooking up and happy. Im a 57 widower. So anyway. Just looking at the pretty farcesmade me happier. Chat was danger...
Problem is modern humans live our lives through a screen; men cannot demonstrate the qualities women are attracted to, strength, confidence, ability and personality.
What she is talking about is decision paralysis. This has been studied extensively, and this is precisely the reason sales people offer you 3 choices, not 5, not 10, not 20, not 50, because our brains are not designed t handle too many choices.
I don't care if you go to Carmax with 1000 cars on the lot, a store with 500 different versions of what you are looking for, or go to a dating event with 50 women. Narrow it down to 3, then choose 1.
When given this many choices, people will just keep swiping past 1000 people, and then swipe past the next 1000, because, in the back of their mind, there is always a better looking, smarter, taller, fitter, wealthier, more charming person who loves animals and is perfect in every way, just a few more swipes away.
Then you pass 30, and then 40, and realize, my options have dwindled to zero, while I looked for perfection.
Very true!!!
One hundo. Jenna should have millions of subscribers. I hope she continues to keep it real when she gets there.
@@plybyapp 🙌🥰 thank you! I better 😂
My grandparents have been together forever, and they probably love each other in some way... but they also definitely hate each other.
Also a a guy it's definitely not 55+ matches 😂😂.
But yea, dating apps are just not great generally. They make money by keeping you on the app, not helping you find a match.
The illusion of infinite choices is definitely a problem... That and unrealistic standards, so much of the Internet tries to convince us we will be that one in a million super success story, when there are literally 999,999 other stories that didn't end that way.
"Don't try to understand women, women understand women and they hate each other."
- Morgan Freeman
Actually, Al Bundy said it first on "Married with Children."
I met my ex-wife between sets at a show. I was the upright bass player in a country-folk band. Now that I am single again, I’ll try the same technique and see how that goes. While married I probably could have had a few dozen “side hustles” after the shows I played.
Well gay guys take amazing photos though tbh.
I regret to say...that I...agree with this assessment.
I've had many relationships, and the ones from the dating sites lasted for only about...eight months at most...and yes, I can confirm that the last person I dated from a dating app was quite shallow, and expected me to be everything for them.
That's the unfortunate reality. I don't think dating apps are the way to go for long-term relationship stuff, a quick hookup maybe.
That said, be honest with people in person on what you are looking for in a relationship still, I have seen people saying 'oh people were looking for perfection' but it's okay to have some standards, like if you want children one day for example but your partner doesn't, that could be an issue.
Good point and one that's not brought up nearly enough.
The problem with dating apps is that their use rewards narcissists and snake oil salesmen. People who are experts in manipulating how their public persona is perceived.
Simple truth: *good people don't need that skill!*
In the past relationships were initiated by and dependent on legitimate social interaction. Not the "Social Interaction" that Zuckerberg and friends are serving up. Taking that out of the equation is problematic on every level. That one sentence explains all of the side effect issues that have come about in this new way of doing things incorrectly.
The qualities that make a healthy relationship are NOT things you can see in a dating app.
she's 1000% right
Evolved? Way I see it, too many people haven't even got round to growing up, still waiting for someone else to come along and fix their lives. Dating apps? They're not helping. (Still gonna like this though, figure that's just a nice thing to do. Thanks JM, enjoy all your stuff.)
you didn't get the point of the video
@@cChrodinCc Oh really? And of course, you did. But I guess you're way too busy, or important, to share what you think IS "the point" underpinning Jenna's reflection. Or, deep down you know you haven't really got anything to say that's worth hearing, but your need to be the smartass overrrides all else. I don't know. What do you think?
I think the key is "nothing invested" in the 1st date. I try to make the other person (woman) invest time in phone conversations, driving to the restaurant not so near to her, though I do pay the check. Though, I'm still single, so wtf do I know ... but, I feel like I'm much more successful than the average guy. Nice video.
Its got NOTHING to do with a PHOTO!!
A man has virtually ZERO chance of being 'liked' by a woman on a dating app, no matter what photo he uses!!
Women have literally THOUSANDS of men to choose from, so it's 100% irrelevant what 'photo' he chooses!!
I see you've discovered XIX century.
Barely any of us would be alive today if Tinder was a thing when our parents were around. I don't know who dating apps are for.
I'm surprised dudes are even still on dating apps, if you're like 6 ft 4, then sure... go nuts, but any dude in that category is most likely running an entire roster of girls.
Met my wife at church, and we went on dates
@@matthewsmith-ld2ub 🥰🙏
👍👏well said,maybe they listen
i think people blame evolution for anything and everything, we didn't evolve to do anything we are doing today from driving to sitting all day in the office working on a computer but we're doing it just fine. I think issue with dating apps is simply women being spoiled for too much choice, whether it's cake, clothes or men having to many options to choose from makes it difficult to pick one
In those days when people lived in villages, most women wouldn't even see more than 20 men in their entire lives. So, the best man ended up with the best woman, the second best paired up, the third best, and so on. The problem? We live in a society where everyone thinks they're the best person in the village, which makes absolutely no sense because we no longer live in villages. Ever heard those old 'outdated' expressions like 'respect your betters' or 'know your place'? What exactly do you think they were talking about? This concept of 'we're all equal, and no one's better than you' is new-no one thought that in the ancient world. The woman in the tribe who was a 6 was painfully aware that she was a 6, so when the guy who was a 7 took an interest in her, you better believe everyone made it crystal clear that she was the lucky one. But today? A girl who's a 3 is being told that she's a 10, and those Snapchat filters make her believe it. I know a girl who literally thinks she looks like she does in the pictures she posts on Instagram. And I'm just looking at her in person thinking, 'Lady, if you looked like you did on Instagram, I'd be trying to pursue you myself!' I have zero interest. Why? Because she looks nothing like she does on Instagram!
It's the illusion of choice. We were much better off when there were only 10-30 choices, not 10K. And then there's the illusion of keeping them, women used to date months before giving it up, to get to know them, they should go back to that.
Obviously, yes.
Who the fk looks for marriage material on dating apps?
I always thought those were for hookups.
And IF the person you hooked up with happens to be marriage material it would be a bonus, not the expected outcome.
When I met my wife during college, I told her that I think she's beautiful, but while that is great, it is not that important to me. Because beautiful people exist in huge numbers throughout the world - but you couldn't even be friends with most of them - so deciding your future happiness based on beauty, is bound to fail.
Jenna, you nailed it! Evolutionary mismatch. As a still single guy who went through pre-dating app era, I had to swing and miss A LOT with women I'd met in class or at work or in the community somehow. In some universe those dates would have turned into long-term relationships, like they did with other couples who met like that and it worked out. Later in life, using dating sites, I've dated, none of them have been long-term. The missing ingredient is meeting someone in real life and developing a friendship that becomes more. You cannot do that on dating apps. Like you and me, even if we lived in the same place and liked some of the same things. It probably wouldn't work out. There is no organic history there. But I wish you well, hope you do find that compliment to your life. If not, be single with hopefully good mental health. That is better than being in a bad relationship. Cheers!
And what do we do now?
nothing, we are doomed
@@sawris7294 RIP
Very true. The dating apps are an astronomical hypergamy accelerant. Rick and Morty did an insightful episode on this, except it gave an unrealistically balanced picture of men's general opportunity in the process; in reality only a relative few get most of the action. Anyway, quick, someone woo this lovely girl with a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and a night out square dancing at the apple harvest festival.
Love it!
My dude, stop simping
❤❤❤❤❤❤@@jenna.malatskey
Excellent observations.
Dating is garbage, period.
I grew up way before dating apps, but because I hated bars, I used online sites such as AOL and Facebook to meet women. I was even married to a woman for 8 years that I met on an online game. I dont see modern dating apps to even come close to social media sites. Its literally "oh I like this picture so we must be a match" which is patently absurd.
I don't know who are you, but I like you very much for all the things you said.
Thank you! Interesting to hear it resonates!
facts
I appreciate this video a lot
@@barberbroski thank you!!🥰
I thought this was Alessia cara at first. lol
@@EphemeralProductions 😂😂
We didnt even evolve to live in densed cities .
I don't think we evolved at all
Well thank you, captain obvious 😂
Truth
Ouch, she just totally burned the superficiality of modern dating apps with one line... burn! Sign her up for a logic and deductive reasoning class... "other than the fact then they can't seem to identify what a good photo of themselves is, but that's not like a quality you care to... marry"
Congratulations, you picked an A-1 winner who's shining skill was picking out a good photo of himself or herself.
Like, wow. That's a bankable skill...
The sad thing is programmers weren't out to destroy the dating landscape forever, or in a terribly negative way... we were actually trying just to make something fun, make it easier to connect with others, and maybe just maybe get a return on it for all our hard programming work. Well, most of that seems to have backfired. In the beginning, it did what we intended... it was fun and helped people connect outside their little local frog holler... but we had no clue about the morphing long term dark side that lay beneath...
true
What the hell difference does the photo make?
A girl who talks about Turing test, evolution... I'm in love😍
That aside, 100% agree, no dna "smells" your body couldn't tell how far or closely related u are, it determines true attraction. Ever wondered why two strangers from other ends of the earth who came together in the middle of nowhere, can't even communicate through language, could spend time together laughing like mad, fall in love and know how to find each other at odd times and places just because they happen to be in close proximity at one time? Follow your receptors, it starts slow about a couple of hours but it'll always guide you in the blind (and more powerful than any apps)😊
Dating apps seemed like a good idea, but there is no substution for experiencing the potentional mate in person. School, work, sports, church and social events were the ways of our parents and are proving to still be the best today
at 2:15, you say "it is effective for many" I don't think that's true. perhaps the primary criteria being used to judge if they're effective or not is the increasing number of couples meeting from online dating. that to me is less indicative of the effectiveness of dating apps and more so the death of "third places" which has been fueled by car-dependent infrastructure
It's not effective at all. Not by a long shot. If marriage is the goal then you have only a 13% chance of finding someone.
this girl is really cute. with that aside, i do think is right about a lot. problem is, everyone is constantly trying to get the best of the best. girls want the closet, tallest, smartest, best looking guy all while those same guys are trying to get girls that are probably hotter than her. i know guys will swipe right on every in hopes to get some type of match and then look over her profile to figure out if he wants to pursue or not. dating apps suck
You are hilarious. New subscriber here.
ah thank you!!:)
You women just compare men too much, and women who go on a lot of dates with different guys is a big turn off, her looks don't even matter at that point things like that kill our inspiration to talk to women.
Not related, but the way you speak is so cute, and you’re so pretty !
Instead of holding yourself accountable for your poor love life, you blame dating apps and evolution. I know people who’ve rarely ever used dating apps but have met many partners the old fashioned way - in person, doing fun activities with friends and just living life. Nobody is forcing you to use dating apps. And there’s nothing stopping you from meeting people in person.
That brings up the question if we can date girls we see on youtube
🤣🤣
You single? 😂😂😂😂
She really SHOULD have responded with, "maybe, send a pic" lolol
@@MichaelNNY 🤣🤣🤣
"When you're married you see them in person mostly, you don't really see pictures of them all the time"
I'm married and this is complete ignorance. People, do NOT settle on partner with zero sense of framing like I did.
Seems you... Didn't frame it right ^^
would you like to get to know me?
so you wanna get married and have kids?
Exactly! So why try to meet electronically when you could meet real people. You young people are so brainwashed; I'm sad.
Dating apps are the end of relationships
Rent only