The Time John Mulaney Accidentally Got a Prostate Exam

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.3K

  • @melinalicharowicz7332
    @melinalicharowicz7332 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11690

    "So I pulled up my pants and shuffled away...feeling different."

  • @ayush17
    @ayush17 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7803

    "Oooooooooooo"
    -John Mulaney

    • @Potterhead-wg7vz
      @Potterhead-wg7vz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +260

      *I’m **_S o R rY_*

    • @hankwicklund2182
      @hankwicklund2182 4 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      John "OOOOOOOOOO" Mulaney

    • @baileygobrr
      @baileygobrr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      THAT PART GOT ME SO BAD LOL

    • @Kodac2k25
      @Kodac2k25 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • @stuffnstuff8844
      @stuffnstuff8844 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Potterhead-wg7vz ah grr *throws glove away*

  • @kellyphillips9743
    @kellyphillips9743 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12437

    The best out of context sentence ever: "I wake up and I'm covered in sweat, lying on the observation table I wake up I open my eyes and I see Batman's face, he's looking at me and he says "you gotta go".

    • @npc6817
      @npc6817 4 ปีที่แล้ว +184

      WHERE IS IT?!?
      Edit: "WHERE IS IT?!?" batman screams in my face as a reference to the movie

    • @Rime_Thyme
      @Rime_Thyme 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      NPC somewhere near 7:10

    • @mirstrikesback
      @mirstrikesback 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      7:21

    • @MxDae
      @MxDae 4 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      Then Batman gives you money for a cab, and you feel so _used_ but it was the wildest night of your life.

    • @SR-fq2jz
      @SR-fq2jz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@Rime_Thyme - you're eleven -minutes- seconds awaaaaay!
      -from the time stamp :)
      Close enough (:

  • @tonywhitburn
    @tonywhitburn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24134

    “Accidental” and “prostate exam” are words that by no means should go together😂

    • @caitlinl9494
      @caitlinl9494 5 ปีที่แล้ว +203

      but totally should in this situation

    • @michaelamurphy7555
      @michaelamurphy7555 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      And definitely should not in this situation

    • @UnYin99
      @UnYin99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Yeah, just like "Brace for impact!"

    • @cringe_homestuck_fan3703
      @cringe_homestuck_fan3703 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      “BRACE FOR EXAM”, he said placing both hands on your shoulders to help brace you

    • @stephenking5852
      @stephenking5852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Who else first learned about prostate exams from that one episode of Family Guy?

  • @caela2108
    @caela2108 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2827

    “and so far he’s had to deal with OhOooOOohH and I’m SoRrYy”
    lmao

    • @galaxywolf8444
      @galaxywolf8444 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      "And he didnt even let me off the hook, ya know?"

  • @tomitstube
    @tomitstube 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17769

    "you know, like a crime."

    • @ninahenderson9121
      @ninahenderson9121 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      tomitstube thank you

    • @neomoons296
      @neomoons296 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      something funny is that as soon as I saw this comment, John actually said it

    • @chima6291
      @chima6291 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@neomoons296 me too, strange

    • @1classikai
      @1classikai 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      tomitstube “you know, like a liar.”

    • @cipher5893
      @cipher5893 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Oliver Dreyer aaaaaaaaaaaa@a@@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaa@@aaaaaa@aaaaaaa@a@aaa@aaaaa@aaaaaaaaa@aaaaaaaaaaaaaa@aaaaaaaa@@aa@aaaaa@@a@a@@@a@@@aaaa@@@@@aaa@@aa@aaaa@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@a@aaa@aaa@aa@a@aaa@

  • @sino3318
    @sino3318 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17079

    "oh sTICK IT IN I AM AN AMERICAN"

    • @JayyySecrets
      @JayyySecrets 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      I love your profile pic

    • @Pavelscribbles
      @Pavelscribbles 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      GEORGE 😂

    • @sparksketchbook808
      @sparksketchbook808 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Your profile picture says it all

    • @navneetkaushik2482
      @navneetkaushik2482 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@sparksketchbook808 hahahaha ...... I was gonna say the same

    • @the_gratefulgamer
      @the_gratefulgamer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I'm sure that's in the constitution, somewhere...

  • @taylormoulton8424
    @taylormoulton8424 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34955

    "No that's okay, I was LYING, it was a LIE, to get drugs, you know? Like a crime."

    • @rosericorico4980
      @rosericorico4980 5 ปีที่แล้ว +312

      I died

    • @taakotuesdays
      @taakotuesdays 5 ปีที่แล้ว +252

      Gets me every time

    • @burnpygmalion39
      @burnpygmalion39 5 ปีที่แล้ว +362

      I say “I was LYING, it was a LIE.” on a regular basis

    • @1classikai
      @1classikai 5 ปีที่แล้ว +326

      All I could think of at that part was “You know, like a liar.”

    • @lukagrdzelishvili
      @lukagrdzelishvili 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@1classikai do you know where I can find that clip?

  • @blueskull6268
    @blueskull6268 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29088

    When i got a prostate exam my doctor kept both if his hands on my shoulders to comfort me
    Great guy

  • @inapapina7050
    @inapapina7050 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16823

    Imagine if someone shat into your hand and went “I’m sORRy”

    • @patrinizer346
      @patrinizer346 5 ปีที่แล้ว +664

      And then, the doctor ate it.

    • @casper1754
      @casper1754 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1521

      @@patrinizer346 I'm so fucking tired of seeing what people say

    • @shuckgrim
      @shuckgrim 5 ปีที่แล้ว +460

      @@patrinizer346 why do we always end up here?

    • @doflash9210
      @doflash9210 5 ปีที่แล้ว +136

      PATFORMER why

    • @haydentheforest805
      @haydentheforest805 5 ปีที่แล้ว +124

      Damnit @@patrinizer346

  • @s-kaye-h6583
    @s-kaye-h6583 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5667

    My favorite part of this is how John’s voice cracks a bit on “he stuck his hand in”

  • @ARKWalton
    @ARKWalton 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8510

    He should've known not to leave the house to go to a secondary location.

    • @Kn1feShift
      @Kn1feShift 5 ปีที่แล้ว +184

      He should have thrown 50 dollars in a money clip! STREET SMARTS!

    • @DeeFightingDreamer
      @DeeFightingDreamer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +106

      To prevent this all from happening, he should've thrown some money, yell "YOU WANT IT, GO GET IT?" and run away

    • @somethingelse7389
      @somethingelse7389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@Kn1feShift STREET SMARTS

    • @souptheirl1482
      @souptheirl1482 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      StrEeT SmArts

    • @cringe_homestuck_fan3703
      @cringe_homestuck_fan3703 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      NO, I AINT GOIN TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION!!

  • @Wendy-je9zf
    @Wendy-je9zf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3849

    that ghost? that was the spirit of the long lost twink Mulaney never was escaping

    • @samanthavialpando4050
      @samanthavialpando4050 5 ปีที่แล้ว +118

      IKR i was like, “sounds pretty gay to me man”

    • @unmasc
      @unmasc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +125

      no dude, it was the dead victorian girl, penelope, OR WHATEVER HER NAME WAS.

    • @luxusmode111
      @luxusmode111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

    • @JayyySecrets
      @JayyySecrets 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@unmasc omg your profile pic

    • @unmasc
      @unmasc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @Michael Mell could say the same to you. we stan be more chill. 👏

  • @itsgaylebitxh
    @itsgaylebitxh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5454

    I almost pissed myself at "I'm soooorry". Not 11 times though

    • @suranda.
      @suranda. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      12?! i would say to get the checked out but we know how that ends

    • @bobbob-fj4cr
      @bobbob-fj4cr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Katie is this you?

    • @southpoundham
      @southpoundham 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Haha I love how it zoomed in on his face when he did 😂😂😂

    • @enekaitzteixeira70I0
      @enekaitzteixeira70I0 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      How many times? We might need you to have a prostate exam.

    • @illestvillain1971
      @illestvillain1971 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bobbob-fj4cr ?

  • @sophiasawoski7649
    @sophiasawoski7649 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1561

    "All of his jokes were very anti-work, which is not always what you want from a healthcare professional"

  • @vivianevans8543
    @vivianevans8543 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8313

    John Mulaney talks like a young priest giving a homily to teens

    • @ashleyjohnson9651
      @ashleyjohnson9651 5 ปีที่แล้ว +259

      The bread of bread is breeeaaad

    • @littledrummergirl_19
      @littledrummergirl_19 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      that's not how priests dress XD

    • @debaucheryscenes
      @debaucheryscenes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      not to be that guy but you probably mean a pastor

    • @raspberrycrowns9494
      @raspberrycrowns9494 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@ashleyjohnson9651
      And ALSO WITH YOU

    • @FrankyBabes
      @FrankyBabes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@debaucheryscenes Nah, he's very much Catholic

  • @NESherv
    @NESherv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17432

    "...and he was wearing reading glasses, to show that time had passed." Truly a writer's comedian.

    • @missdahir123
      @missdahir123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      NESherv i didn’t get it

    • @noname-hf9ty
      @noname-hf9ty 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I didn't get it can you explain?

    • @NESherv
      @NESherv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1298

      @@noname-hf9ty John Mulaney's style of storytelling is very self-aware. In other words, he's not afraid to break the fourth wall and wink at the audience when he wants to add a little detail.
      By saying that Batman was wearing reading glasses "to show that time had passed," he is comically suggesting that Batman's only reason for wearing glasses on that day was to better serve Mulaney's story. That's why it's funny.

    • @VanlockFR
      @VanlockFR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +269

      a shame the video cuts a few seconds short, the delivery of that joke would be better if we get to hear the crowd's reaction

    • @noname-hf9ty
      @noname-hf9ty 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@NESherv alright I get it now hahahahahah that is creative I like John Mullaney 70% more than before now

  • @KongKyrre
    @KongKyrre 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7881

    This is probably the funniest, best delivered narrative joke I know of. Truly a gem --- Mulaney is a comedic genius.

    • @Ahriman_II
      @Ahriman_II 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So this is the only narrative joke you've ever heard huh?

    • @sahayeda5220
      @sahayeda5220 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      i recommend:
      1. party story
      2. delta airlines
      3. salt and pepper diner
      :)

    • @KongKyrre
      @KongKyrre 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@sahayeda5220 Oh, I'm familiar.

    • @ellieelle7318
      @ellieelle7318 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@IWillHarvestYourToes no it's not

    • @Taijifufu
      @Taijifufu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Jay the hell is your problem? You have a prostate exam go entirely too far or something?

  • @tssnmm
    @tssnmm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16520

    He is the gayest straight male I've ever seen. I love it.

    • @Jaymac720
      @Jaymac720 4 ปีที่แล้ว +200

      You clearly haven’t seen Sebastian Maniscalco

    • @srluskas6803
      @srluskas6803 4 ปีที่แล้ว +330

      Have you seen JoJo

    • @malachiatkinson7245
      @malachiatkinson7245 4 ปีที่แล้ว +945

      He is a proud Asian American woman, and you will respect him!

    • @qoyote
      @qoyote 4 ปีที่แล้ว +326

      He's an old queen, what're you talking about?

    • @Jaymac720
      @Jaymac720 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      Super Neko Majin who just want to feed his birds

  • @danielcastillo591
    @danielcastillo591 5 ปีที่แล้ว +816

    "The doctor left the room, so I'm alone with Batman" Jesus Christ

    • @oliviagrace6914
      @oliviagrace6914 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      don’t take the Lord’s Name in vain 🥰

    • @danielcastillo591
      @danielcastillo591 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@oliviagrace6914 Thanks for the tip, but I think I will :)

    • @pryingeyes1551
      @pryingeyes1551 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@oliviagrace6914
      It's truly bizarre to me, how many people think the religion they were born to or found is the one "true" religion.

    • @michaelcubed
      @michaelcubed 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@pryingeyes1551 hey, sounds like the religion is doing their job if their followers think they have the one true religion.

    • @PartnershipsForYou
      @PartnershipsForYou 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@oliviagrace6914 don’t take Batman’s name in vain

  • @reyest890333
    @reyest890333 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26732

    Needs anxiety meds, does the anxious thing to hide anxiety.

    • @Ehlaar
      @Ehlaar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +590

      Fucks us over all the time

    • @reneehannan6924
      @reneehannan6924 5 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      WHO CARES WHAT HUMANS THINK NEGATIVELY ABOUT PEOPLE FCK THEM

    • @reneehannan6924
      @reneehannan6924 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      you too

    • @siriolsen7805
      @siriolsen7805 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      If anyone reading this is struggling with anxiety I would really recommend looking into Andy Cutlers work, reading the success stories is very helpful but also the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price site is great at explaining it well. Wish you all the very best

    • @TheyMadeMePickAName
      @TheyMadeMePickAName 5 ปีที่แล้ว +190

      @@reneehannan6924 I have severe anxiety and Idgaf what people think of me. That's not where anxiety train is heading. Because having anxiety is like having a little window in your mind into the absolute worst timeline, where saying the wrong word at the same moment somehow results in you dying cold and unloved under a bridge. The shit I worry about doesn't even make sense to anyone but myself. For example ever since we've installed the new dishwasher I worry about the tube thing getting loose and causing water damage. Is it reasonable? No. Do I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat thinking "water damage!"? Yes. Now, applying that mindset to interaction with other people, something that is unpredictable? Nightmare.

  • @quincytheodore
    @quincytheodore 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7079

    This was my introduction to this tall child and it encapsulated him so perfectly. It's already one of my fave standup set

    • @sahayeda5220
      @sahayeda5220 5 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      you mean this asian american woman? 🤣

    • @LARZMARZ94
      @LARZMARZ94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Amaterasu should have been able to transform into a Doge. She should have, she should have

    • @TylerDurden-dw4ep
      @TylerDurden-dw4ep 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Quincy 1k like

    • @Taikofan04
      @Taikofan04 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      HOLY CRAP IS THAT AN OKAMI PFP

    • @souptheirl1482
      @souptheirl1482 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Mine was the salt and pepper diner and it was in a animation and now I'm addicted

  • @thefootman123
    @thefootman123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14690

    John Mulaney: Power Bottom

    • @Styxintheriver
      @Styxintheriver 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1103

      This is either a blessed or cursed comment

    • @nixuccubus6926
      @nixuccubus6926 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1101

      @@Styxintheriver it's both. perfectly balanced as all things should be

    • @lucaslayton3974
      @lucaslayton3974 5 ปีที่แล้ว +254

      He can do anything.

    • @oliverkibbe860
      @oliverkibbe860 5 ปีที่แล้ว +415

      Blursed comment

    • @thatoneartsykid_1233
      @thatoneartsykid_1233 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Katie Kibbe DaNG It I WAS ABOUT TO CoMmENT THAT

  • @docseamonster3491
    @docseamonster3491 ปีที่แล้ว +208

    "I can't believe that John Mulaney was a drug addict!" which was commonly said about a comedian who's most famous routine is about lying to a doctor so he could get access to controlled substances.

    • @kingofgrim4761
      @kingofgrim4761 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Tbf he was open a lot him beating his addictions, and did a routine about how he doesn’t look like a druggy and was in fact ok drugs all the time

  • @GoodVsEvil1314
    @GoodVsEvil1314 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1462

    No one:
    Not a single soul:
    John: *o o o O o O o O o O O H*

    • @heystepbrother9381
      @heystepbrother9381 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Im sorrrry

    • @eruphin3601
      @eruphin3601 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      4:52 for oooOoOoOoOOH
      5:54 for I'm SoRrY!
      6:08 for oooOoOoOoOOH and I'm SoRrY!

    • @charliesanimations3442
      @charliesanimations3442 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      LMAO THANKS

    • @BriceTerry
      @BriceTerry 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Also John: *I'm SoRrYy!!!*

  • @PlanetMint
    @PlanetMint 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1467

    “He smiled at me and he was wearing reading glasses to show time has passed.” Brilliant!

    • @JMRandNJJislove
      @JMRandNJJislove 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Scott Tesfaye I don’t get it 😭

    • @PlanetMint
      @PlanetMint 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      lovedandlossed It’s a sign that the doctor has stopped being silly and has matured with the passing of time

    • @avagonzalez3237
      @avagonzalez3237 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@PlanetMint when did he say that lol

    • @PlanetMint
      @PlanetMint 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ava Gonzalez around the end

    • @ronburgundy244
      @ronburgundy244 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      @@JMRandNJJislove sometimes in movies and tv shows, they'll do a flash forward where not enough time has passed that a character would look significantly different, so they'll have a character wear something to show that the character is different to how they were before the flash forward. Mulaney has worked on tv shows before so he's probably referencing this trope (I'm also gonna go out on limb and say that aside from the glasses he didn't look too different, causing them to stick out more).

  • @alexeller6022
    @alexeller6022 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4914

    i've been waiting for this to hit youtube for AGES

    • @zizinnnn
      @zizinnnn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      it's been on other channels

    • @cwp2175
      @cwp2175 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@zizinnnn a lot of other channels

    • @soldierofthetemple9815
      @soldierofthetemple9815 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same

  • @thething2723
    @thething2723 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13505

    This man is the epitome of humor. But I will never forgive him for forcing me to explain to MY GRANDPARENTS what a twink is

    • @radioactive_baby
      @radioactive_baby 5 ปีที่แล้ว +165

      How did they respond to that?

    • @amrithkiran.a425
      @amrithkiran.a425 5 ปีที่แล้ว +152

      I should not have searched that on Google images. A big mistake I tell you ! (o_O)

    • @thething2723
      @thething2723 5 ปีที่แล้ว +447

      @@radioactive_baby they were just like "oh haha that makes the joke more funny"

    • @radioactive_baby
      @radioactive_baby 5 ปีที่แล้ว +129

      @@amrithkiran.a425 You poor child

    • @zakr8318
      @zakr8318 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      I want to add don't click on google image when you look for twink...

  • @jasrose4496
    @jasrose4496 5 ปีที่แล้ว +384

    "You're nit gonna faint"
    "So..."
    SENT ME😂

    • @olukiyesimi
      @olukiyesimi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Kunpimook Bhuwakul's nail polish EVERY TIME HAHAHA

  • @kimberlyf6312
    @kimberlyf6312 2 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    In retrospect, I think that we had some clues about John's drug problems. He was just so hilarious and charming about it that we forgot to be concerned.

    • @cantbackdown123
      @cantbackdown123 ปีที่แล้ว

      @vanessa jones bruh shut up that is so ignorant

    • @Tonyhouse1168
      @Tonyhouse1168 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That’s how a lot of us get away with it :/

    • @venomousbunny9875
      @venomousbunny9875 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Is Xanax legal in the UK?

    • @eughyuck
      @eughyuck 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@venomousbunny9875through prescription

  • @tearoses9940
    @tearoses9940 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2074

    For some reason whenever I listen to this one, I always picture T-Bo from iCarly as the Batman nurse.

    • @maggrinch4196
      @maggrinch4196 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Same!!

    • @quinngrey8916
      @quinngrey8916 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      TeaRoses that is the best thing I’ve ever heard oh my gosh

    • @Karina-xm2kt
      @Karina-xm2kt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      OMG yes! I can definitely see that 😂

    • @kevinvenegas6129
      @kevinvenegas6129 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's beautiful

    • @thePokemonmaster141
      @thePokemonmaster141 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yooo what 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭now I cant unsee tht

  • @IReallyAmIronMan
    @IReallyAmIronMan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4242

    I have seen this stand up probably 20 times. Still funny.

    • @shelbytomy07
      @shelbytomy07 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me either

    • @jewfedmuzik
      @jewfedmuzik 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      What special is it from?

    • @jewfedmuzik
      @jewfedmuzik 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@shelbytomy07 me either dont make ANY sense.. but I totally get it.

    • @IReallyAmIronMan
      @IReallyAmIronMan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      J. Byron new in town

    • @liamgannon9474
      @liamgannon9474 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      i fall asleep listening to it every night lmao

  • @etoatoummhmm6391
    @etoatoummhmm6391 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2536

    *me*
    Oh! I suffer from frequent urination......
    *after video ends*
    I guess I'm not suffering from frequent urination.

    • @maggsmarineverdancy7262
      @maggsmarineverdancy7262 5 ปีที่แล้ว +138

      you probably actually should tell a doctor about that, don't let the fear of a prostate exam scare you away because peeing a lot could be a sign of a serious problem

    • @wyskoi
      @wyskoi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @Daniel Henderson its not really a whoosh, the person got the joke

    • @melb2734
      @melb2734 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Haha. I bruised my tailbone and found out the doctor might do a rectal exam if I got it checked out. Decided I was good with giving it time and NOT going to the doctor.

  • @cassieelliott6056
    @cassieelliott6056 5 ปีที่แล้ว +376

    “ooOOOOOOOOHHHHhhhhmmm”
    “ii’M sOoRrY”

  • @Abejaved
    @Abejaved 4 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    The way his voice wobbled when he said the doctor, "stuck his hand in" was hilarious

  • @brookerickert4046
    @brookerickert4046 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5081

    i'M SoRrY!!!

    • @hallucigenias
      @hallucigenias 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      i heard this comment 😂

    • @user-yu9tf8jv4r
      @user-yu9tf8jv4r 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      What that part came around, I choked on my spit

    • @3katfox
      @3katfox 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I CRIED!!! 😂😂😂

    • @salacious_modeus.
      @salacious_modeus. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      *OOOhHHhHHhHhH*

  • @TdcWillies
    @TdcWillies 5 ปีที่แล้ว +687

    Talent: Original story, perfect timing and delivery, and reading/responding to your audience. In your own voice. Damn fine.

  • @fusilijerry6295
    @fusilijerry6295 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1261

    I once saw this comment on one of his stand-up videos that said he looks like the gay James Bond villain that promised himself he wouldn't fall in love with Bond, but does anyway. And that comment haunts me.

    • @ashleyjohnson9651
      @ashleyjohnson9651 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Is that concept something you enjoy? If so, if you haven't already check out the music video for the song "Genghis khan" by miike snow, you won't regret it

    • @novemberblake9505
      @novemberblake9505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lachlan Edwards But it is so accurate

    • @MsLm97
      @MsLm97 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What about now 😅

    • @deliren135
      @deliren135 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I saw that comment like an hour ago too!

  • @shopkinspesky
    @shopkinspesky 4 ปีที่แล้ว +166

    Imagine youre in the doctors office waiting room and then you hear “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU IM SOWWY!” coming from one of the rooms.

  • @thirsttweeter3776
    @thirsttweeter3776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1685

    Barry Allen altered the timeline again

    • @spaceylacey83
      @spaceylacey83 5 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      I was thinking he looked like Grant Gustin the whole time.

    • @samanthavialpando4050
      @samanthavialpando4050 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Lmao

    • @sonofbatman5233
      @sonofbatman5233 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      So does that mean we’re on Earth II?! That’s some bullshit

    • @theangel1975
      @theangel1975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Finally, someone thinks the way I do! Thank you.

    • @elizabethmckain9631
      @elizabethmckain9631 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Groen Gras oH MY GOSH THATS WHO HE REMINDS ME OF WOAH

  • @jellypupdreams
    @jellypupdreams 5 ปีที่แล้ว +699

    OH STICK IT IN IM AN *A M E R I C A N*

  • @shenzybrosee
    @shenzybrosee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2038

    How can John Mulaney be THIS good at standup? Is it just me or is he like waaay better than every other stand up comedian I've ever seen.

    • @haechanverse
      @haechanverse 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      I'm watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and the show made me appreciate stand-up comedians even more, John Mulaney especially

    • @WhatACoolArrow
      @WhatACoolArrow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I love John but better than any other stand up comedian? Absolutely not. Maybe in top 10 all time but probably not, maybe top 5 current. There is some greats though who are way ahead of him. Pryor, Carlin even Dave Chappelle. They are on a different level. But I really do love John, he is excellent at his craft.

    • @UnYin99
      @UnYin99 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kyle Kinane tells some pretty good stories too.

    • @Tmacademia
      @Tmacademia 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      John is good, but Tim Hawkins, Dave Chapelle, and Nate Bargatze are better imo.
      Mulaney is really good though

    • @alleymercuryway7777
      @alleymercuryway7777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Tmacademia Nate bargatze is one of my favorite comedians

  • @Styxintheriver
    @Styxintheriver 5 ปีที่แล้ว +247

    “Some of you are ahead of me”

    • @LaYamiUwU
      @LaYamiUwU 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Love that your comment has 69 likes.

  • @weggman1984
    @weggman1984 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    "It was as if a ghost had been trapped in my belly and finally flew out towards the light..."
    That's some great writing right there. 10 out of 10 comedy.

  • @aarchitasharma
    @aarchitasharma 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1362

    The doctor hitting his sweet spot 😂😂😂

  • @didthatreallyjust
    @didthatreallyjust 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5097

    Lololll he literally has anxiety because this is the stuff shit people do who have anxiety 😂😂😂😂

    • @libbyrose2661
      @libbyrose2661 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @huskersmaster Right!😂😂

    • @elreydelmundo1343
      @elreydelmundo1343 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      He only opened the joke with "I have anxiety".

    • @NINELIVECORP
      @NINELIVECORP 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      self diagnosis in a nutshell "I/he/she shares symptoms of anxiety so I/they MUST have it, right????"

    • @heyryanisonx3141
      @heyryanisonx3141 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@NINELIVECORP he has said he has anxiety before

    • @Anna-tc6rz
      @Anna-tc6rz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@heyryanisonx3141 self diagnosis most likely. If he had a proper diagnosis he wouldn't have had to do all this lol

  • @jasonpodell9680
    @jasonpodell9680 5 ปีที่แล้ว +978

    This is exactly why I love John Mulaney: He always has some crazy story to tell! And on top of that he somehow never gets embarrassed from it, which is even more impressive because HOW?

    • @spiralseyes
      @spiralseyes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Jason Podell maybe he finally got the xanax prescription

    • @spontaneousbootay
      @spontaneousbootay 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      He bares it all for the sake of the joke

    • @tsfbaf303
      @tsfbaf303 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Jason Podell Because it’s usually at least partially made up.

  • @friedriceman
    @friedriceman ปีที่แล้ว +88

    We should’ve seen the warning signs sooner for John.
    “I was going to get a Xanax prescription. I don’t know if anyone here has had Xanax before, but it’s fantastic”

  • @thomasrosebrough9062
    @thomasrosebrough9062 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Hearing a funny Xanax story from John Mulaney in 2019: *Happy Mr Incredible*
    Hearing the same story in 2023: *Distorted Mr Incredible*

    • @F.R.E.D.D2986
      @F.R.E.D.D2986 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don't get it

    • @tardissixteen8178
      @tardissixteen8178 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@F.R.E.D.D2986John went to rehab due to drug addiction in late 2020, and one of the several things he was abusing was Xanax

  • @colhan264
    @colhan264 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3780

    Damn drew gooden looks hella weird in this

    • @jungkookieisacutie9602
      @jungkookieisacutie9602 5 ปีที่แล้ว +425

      I didn't know Drew Gonzalez did stand up comedy

    • @SchoolComedyThursdaychannel
      @SchoolComedyThursdaychannel 5 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      @@jungkookieisacutie9602 This has so many layers

    • @jungkookieisacutie9602
      @jungkookieisacutie9602 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@SchoolComedyThursdaychannel indeed it does

    • @Roboboy17
      @Roboboy17 5 ปีที่แล้ว +194

      That's such a dumb joke
      Because we all know this is Danny Gonzalez.

    • @babes9750
      @babes9750 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      JungKookie is a Cutie! i know this is a joke but he actually had before and its the best

  • @violetbowie4567
    @violetbowie4567 5 ปีที่แล้ว +341

    "And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time had passed."
    HAHAHA!

    • @jackmichael448
      @jackmichael448 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don't get that part, can you explain?

    • @ronburgundy244
      @ronburgundy244 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@jackmichael448 sometimes in movies and tv shows, they'll do a flash forward where not enough time has passed that a character would look significantly different, so they'll have a character wear something to show that the character is different to how they were before the flash forward. Mulaney has worked on tv shows before so he's probably referencing this trope (I'm also gonna go out on limb and say that aside from the glasses he didn't look too different, causing them to stick out more).

  • @vinnyd2197
    @vinnyd2197 5 ปีที่แล้ว +679

    Love how he refers to the guy as batman

  • @safra8168
    @safra8168 5 ปีที่แล้ว +206

    This is literally the opposite of what you should do in a doctor's appointment and I am scrEAminG

  • @lifewithkids5231
    @lifewithkids5231 5 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    When he said “IM SORRY” I burst out with laughter, I haven’t done that in a long time.

  • @EricBrinkman
    @EricBrinkman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +804

    Haha, "This might as well happen" ;) 3:40

  • @missmoney369
    @missmoney369 5 ปีที่แล้ว +457

    cried laughing the first time i saw this

    • @HonoluluWhoCares
      @HonoluluWhoCares 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I lost my shit at work I couldn't even hide it

    • @calisongbird
      @calisongbird 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      provacativemoose interesting choice of words there 😏😄

  • @almightysosa3007
    @almightysosa3007 5 ปีที่แล้ว +625

    I have a friend with a story so similar to this but it happened when he was 17 and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life

  • @goreycinema
    @goreycinema 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    7:47.
    The realization that he went through all of that for absolutely nothing just kills me. XD

  • @mattbabineau197
    @mattbabineau197 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Oof, “Xanax is fantastic” hits different now…

  • @ChoklitThundah
    @ChoklitThundah 5 ปีที่แล้ว +632

    A doctor did a similar procedure on me two years ago. It feels exactly how he described. The doctor gave me a towel to “clean myself up”. Me thinking he meant poop asked, “how bad is it?”
    He was actually just talking about cleaning off the lubricant he used

  • @Youre_a_wizard_shark
    @Youre_a_wizard_shark 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    That "sometimes I get nervous on airplanes" killed me everytime

  • @faith9196
    @faith9196 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    “And he was wearing reading glasses. To show that time had passed.” Was just the perfect way to end that lmao

  • @wetland_5844
    @wetland_5844 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    The “I’m sorry” killed me

  • @evamaloon1920
    @evamaloon1920 5 ปีที่แล้ว +483

    Some y’all be afraid to moan in ya girls ear but I be like: 4:53

  • @anne-droid7739
    @anne-droid7739 5 ปีที่แล้ว +734

    He's going to absolutely love his first colonoscopy.

    • @DehorseProductions
      @DehorseProductions 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Anne-droid fuck off the put you under for that

    • @frankkolton1780
      @frankkolton1780 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      The colonoscopy is no problem, it's having to drink a whole gallon of that stuff that suspiciously looks and tastes like Prestone anti freeze radiator fluid. My advice to other people, tell the pharmacist you want the lime flavored one. Drink it at home on ice mixed with a little salt and tequila, that way the afternoon and evening won't be a total waste. Oh yeah, never stray farther than 20 feet from the bathroom.

    • @nguyentheanh3534
      @nguyentheanh3534 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Frank Kolton i’m still gagging from the taste of 4 liters of salty slimy liquid i had to take one year ago for my colonoscopy

    • @sadmac356
      @sadmac356 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@frankkolton1780 well now I'm wondering how you know what the antifreeze tastes like…

    • @vaishrox66
      @vaishrox66 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      i made them knock me out with anasthesia before they did coz NOPE

  • @shantelhill7390
    @shantelhill7390 5 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    "PSshS YoU'rE NoT GoNna FAiNt" However comma

  • @anapaulasantos7784
    @anapaulasantos7784 5 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    dude his skin GLOWS, what highlighter he using

    • @KINDaf
      @KINDaf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      He is damp. He talks about it in his latest bit I believe. I think he has a condition.

    • @billnyesmassivethighs3847
      @billnyesmassivethighs3847 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@KINDaf “He is damp” is so fucking funny to me for no reason

    • @TooLittleInfo
      @TooLittleInfo 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@KINDaf I think I actually know someone like that

    • @nickgrout2502
      @nickgrout2502 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Drugs, he was using drugs

    • @KajianTemp
      @KajianTemp 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@billnyesmassivethighs3847my body, is GROSS.

  • @Monicalia
    @Monicalia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    "it was as if a ghost was trapped inside my belly and finally flew out towards the light" such a poetic way of saying he moaned 😁

  • @satoru_gojohollow
    @satoru_gojohollow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    "So I had to pick a number enough to warrant a doctor's visit, so I pick *ELEVEN* "

  • @tammyk1761
    @tammyk1761 5 ปีที่แล้ว +261

    "My name is Barry Allen and I am the FASTEST man alive"

    • @mossman2353
      @mossman2353 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      if hes the fastest man alive maybe that's why he can't get a date

    • @marwanali4878
      @marwanali4878 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@mossman2353 you and Hawkgirl would get along very well

    • @TheyMadeMePickAName
      @TheyMadeMePickAName 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      "My name is Barry Allen and SOMETIMES..."

    • @tammyk1761
      @tammyk1761 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @The_ Under_Xans bro...

    • @myaga
      @myaga 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @The_ Under_Xans bro?

  • @HighAndDryyyy
    @HighAndDryyyy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +337

    For those who have never seen these incredible comedian, this story is just the tip of the iceberg

  • @nell1777
    @nell1777 5 ปีที่แล้ว +181

    I feel so represented by the carnival voice

  • @ethanhill4877
    @ethanhill4877 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    “And, he was wearing reading glassed to show that time had passed.”
    Fucking comedy writing gold.

  • @BENYJOSE1
    @BENYJOSE1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    I completely relate - that's what prostate exams are like.
    I got my first prostate exam in my early thirties for two reasons: I wanted a clean bill of health, and it was free as part of my annual check-up. It was probably the worst that I ever felt in my whole life. I learned something that day: I don't always have to get all the free stuff... they can have other costs.

  • @SandrockCustom
    @SandrockCustom 5 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    "Feeling *different* "

  • @ShawnaGraham50
    @ShawnaGraham50 5 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    John is hilarious!!!!!
    His voice and delivery is awesome!!

  • @MrTheCHANNEL1234
    @MrTheCHANNEL1234 5 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    I bet the friend who told him how to get xans was Pete Davidson 😂😂

  • @cinthiaham1517
    @cinthiaham1517 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    This is even more funny now in 2023 knowing that he likely didn’t even NEED the Xanax

  • @abdullahalmomtan800
    @abdullahalmomtan800 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Someone said that he speaks Like This, Where You Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word, and goddamn that is fucken accurate

  • @thiccmac5102
    @thiccmac5102 5 ปีที่แล้ว +529

    John poppin xannies

    • @DJFaNaTiiC
      @DJFaNaTiiC 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ThiccMac hella barred out you can barely understand me

  • @ivy16x81
    @ivy16x81 5 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    my brain at 2 am every single night: 6:07

  • @michellep6417
    @michellep6417 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    “So I pulled up my pants and shuffled away. Feeling different.” HAHAHAH

  • @nicholashanson2096
    @nicholashanson2096 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I feel like “Ah! We are approaching Martinique!” is such an underappreciated line in this
    For some reason that always gets me

    • @TooLittleInfo
      @TooLittleInfo 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I liked that one too, and with the exaggerated accent, it was *chef's kiss*

  • @sheenabeena2838
    @sheenabeena2838 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    “Stick it in, I’m an American” that will be tattooed on my ass😂

  • @alinawolfe6758
    @alinawolfe6758 5 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    the amount of second hand embarrassment i got for him is overwhelming

  • @sophliberty
    @sophliberty 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    i almost started crying at the sheer hilarity of this story

  • @fairlyadorablepancreas3746
    @fairlyadorablepancreas3746 5 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    I'm a med student and i always wondered how (embarrassed) the patients felt when i examined them this way.
    Maybe i shouldn't have known.
    We're like 'Hey! What's your name?'
    2 mins later: 'Pull your pants down.' -\_(•_•)_/- .

    • @calisongbird
      @calisongbird 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      fairly adorable pancreas your username 😂😂😂

  • @sdg2450
    @sdg2450 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    These jokes hit differently in 2023

  • @romolomosqueda4148
    @romolomosqueda4148 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    And then he found a doctor that gave him all the pills he wanted😭

    • @Andy-Mesa
      @Andy-Mesa 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yeah, but he still had to do degrading things to get them.

  • @Andrew-on1wi
    @Andrew-on1wi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    “And he was wearing reading glasses, to show that time had passed” is the like the end of a short story

  • @tommylehomme8695
    @tommylehomme8695 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    He got that Xanax prescription all right

    • @Emitopia
      @Emitopia ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dr Michael rn:

    • @vlad5042
      @vlad5042 ปีที่แล้ว

      at least dr michael didnt wanna give him a prostate exam every time he came

  • @avedic
    @avedic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    LOL! Honestly....out of this entire clip, the line that killed me the most was...
    *"And he was wearing reading glasses....to show that time had passed."*
    Something about that joke...and the timing of it...is just too perfect. Laughed at that more than anything else...and it was all funny.

  • @yugiamane4587
    @yugiamane4587 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    "A ghost had been trapped in my belly"

  • @Ambipie
    @Ambipie ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Dr Michaels out here like "man i wish i got to do the prostate exam"

  • @macyoakes7555
    @macyoakes7555 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    And Batman says: 'shh your not gonna faint'
    John: *faints*
    Me: he told you you childish SOB he told you

  • @atoshi5887
    @atoshi5887 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    this bit is so disturbing once you’ve seen him spiral down and the Baby J special where he talks about Dr Michael

  • @JRemy-pr8dm
    @JRemy-pr8dm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    I'm wearing headphones in bed watching this, and I just woke my wife up laughing! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @emjayay
    @emjayay 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    "I bet I know what most things feel like."

  • @ashen_roses
    @ashen_roses ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Gotta love when the last joke is basically calling out a narrative trick, my authoring ass loves that

  • @jamesebola1250
    @jamesebola1250 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    My yearly prostate exams only involve a single finger insertion from my urologist. Never entire hand...

    • @videohound2005
      @videohound2005 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      But have you asked for xanax?? Must be a code or something.

    • @jamesebola1250
      @jamesebola1250 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@videohound2005 I tipped him $ 20 to keep his finger moving...

    • @videohound2005
      @videohound2005 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@jamesebola1250 well that's one way to get a tickle.

    • @samanthavialpando4050
      @samanthavialpando4050 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      James Ebola r/suddenlygay

    • @Manbagdeluxe
      @Manbagdeluxe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Then you haven't lived