The Time John Mulaney Accidentally Got a Prostate Exam
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- As someone who’s always anxious, John Mulaney once tried to get a Xanax prescription from his doctor, only for his plan to go horribly awry.
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"So I pulled up my pants and shuffled away...feeling different."
"you look different" - batman
@@smosmilesmom "let's do it"
Feeling gay
"And he yells out into the gall and he goes 'HEY WE'RE DOING A BLOOD TEST'"
It's the shuffle for me
"Oooooooooooo"
-John Mulaney
*I’m **_S o R rY_*
John "OOOOOOOOOO" Mulaney
THAT PART GOT ME SO BAD LOL
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@Potterhead-wg7vz ah grr *throws glove away*
My favorite part of this is how John’s voice cracks a bit on “he stuck his hand in”
same. more people need to recognise this.
4:33
He still feels the pain of that traumatic experience.
It does!! He kinda sounds like Joey richter in that moment
@@luizasabbaga592 HE DOES
“Accidental” and “prostate exam” are words that by no means should go together😂
but totally should in this situation
And definitely should not in this situation
Yeah, just like "Brace for impact!"
“BRACE FOR EXAM”, he said placing both hands on your shoulders to help brace you
Who else first learned about prostate exams from that one episode of Family Guy?
I almost pissed myself at "I'm soooorry". Not 11 times though
12?! i would say to get the checked out but we know how that ends
Katie is this you?
Haha I love how it zoomed in on his face when he did 😂😂😂
How many times? We might need you to have a prostate exam.
@@bobbob-fj4cr ?
He should've known not to leave the house to go to a secondary location.
He should have thrown 50 dollars in a money clip! STREET SMARTS!
To prevent this all from happening, he should've thrown some money, yell "YOU WANT IT, GO GET IT?" and run away
@@Kn1feShift STREET SMARTS
StrEeT SmArts
NO, I AINT GOIN TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION!!
This is probably the funniest, best delivered narrative joke I know of. Truly a gem --- Mulaney is a comedic genius.
So this is the only narrative joke you've ever heard huh?
i recommend:
1. party story
2. delta airlines
3. salt and pepper diner
:)
@@sahayeda5220 Oh, I'm familiar.
@@IWillHarvestYourToes no it's not
Jay the hell is your problem? You have a prostate exam go entirely too far or something?
"oh sTICK IT IN I AM AN AMERICAN"
I love your profile pic
GEORGE 😂
Your profile picture says it all
@@sparksketchbook808 hahahaha ...... I was gonna say the same
I'm sure that's in the constitution, somewhere...
The best out of context sentence ever: "I wake up and I'm covered in sweat, lying on the observation table I wake up I open my eyes and I see Batman's face, he's looking at me and he says "you gotta go".
WHERE IS IT?!?
Edit: "WHERE IS IT?!?" batman screams in my face as a reference to the movie
NPC somewhere near 7:10
7:21
Then Batman gives you money for a cab, and you feel so _used_ but it was the wildest night of your life.
@@Rime_Thyme - you're eleven -minutes- seconds awaaaaay!
-from the time stamp :)
Close enough (:
Imagine if someone shat into your hand and went “I’m sORRy”
And then, the doctor ate it.
@@patrinizer346 I'm so fucking tired of seeing what people say
@@patrinizer346 why do we always end up here?
PATFORMER why
Damnit @@patrinizer346
"No that's okay, I was LYING, it was a LIE, to get drugs, you know? Like a crime."
I died
Gets me every time
I say “I was LYING, it was a LIE.” on a regular basis
All I could think of at that part was “You know, like a liar.”
@@1classikai do you know where I can find that clip?
John Mulaney talks like a young priest giving a homily to teens
The bread of bread is breeeaaad
that's not how priests dress XD
not to be that guy but you probably mean a pastor
@@ashleyjohnson9651
And ALSO WITH YOU
@@debaucheryscenes Nah, he's very much Catholic
Needs anxiety meds, does the anxious thing to hide anxiety.
Fucks us over all the time
WHO CARES WHAT HUMANS THINK NEGATIVELY ABOUT PEOPLE FCK THEM
you too
If anyone reading this is struggling with anxiety I would really recommend looking into Andy Cutlers work, reading the success stories is very helpful but also the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price site is great at explaining it well. Wish you all the very best
@@reneehannan6924 I have severe anxiety and Idgaf what people think of me. That's not where anxiety train is heading. Because having anxiety is like having a little window in your mind into the absolute worst timeline, where saying the wrong word at the same moment somehow results in you dying cold and unloved under a bridge. The shit I worry about doesn't even make sense to anyone but myself. For example ever since we've installed the new dishwasher I worry about the tube thing getting loose and causing water damage. Is it reasonable? No. Do I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat thinking "water damage!"? Yes. Now, applying that mindset to interaction with other people, something that is unpredictable? Nightmare.
i've been waiting for this to hit youtube for AGES
it's been on other channels
@@zizinnnn a lot of other channels
Same
He is the gayest straight male I've ever seen. I love it.
You clearly haven’t seen Sebastian Maniscalco
Have you seen JoJo
He is a proud Asian American woman, and you will respect him!
He's an old queen, what're you talking about?
Super Neko Majin who just want to feed his birds
For some reason whenever I listen to this one, I always picture T-Bo from iCarly as the Batman nurse.
Same!!
TeaRoses that is the best thing I’ve ever heard oh my gosh
OMG yes! I can definitely see that 😂
That's beautiful
Yooo what 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭now I cant unsee tht
In retrospect, I think that we had some clues about John's drug problems. He was just so hilarious and charming about it that we forgot to be concerned.
@vanessa jones bruh shut up that is so ignorant
That’s how a lot of us get away with it :/
Is Xanax legal in the UK?
@@venomousbunny9875through prescription
John Mulaney: Power Bottom
This is either a blessed or cursed comment
@@Styxintheriver it's both. perfectly balanced as all things should be
He can do anything.
Blursed comment
Katie Kibbe DaNG It I WAS ABOUT TO CoMmENT THAT
*me*
Oh! I suffer from frequent urination......
*after video ends*
I guess I'm not suffering from frequent urination.
you probably actually should tell a doctor about that, don't let the fear of a prostate exam scare you away because peeing a lot could be a sign of a serious problem
@Daniel Henderson its not really a whoosh, the person got the joke
Haha. I bruised my tailbone and found out the doctor might do a rectal exam if I got it checked out. Decided I was good with giving it time and NOT going to the doctor.
"You're nit gonna faint"
"So..."
SENT ME😂
Kunpimook Bhuwakul's nail polish EVERY TIME HAHAHA
The way his voice wobbled when he said the doctor, "stuck his hand in" was hilarious
I once saw this comment on one of his stand-up videos that said he looks like the gay James Bond villain that promised himself he wouldn't fall in love with Bond, but does anyway. And that comment haunts me.
Is that concept something you enjoy? If so, if you haven't already check out the music video for the song "Genghis khan" by miike snow, you won't regret it
Lachlan Edwards But it is so accurate
What about now 😅
I saw that comment like an hour ago too!
Talent: Original story, perfect timing and delivery, and reading/responding to your audience. In your own voice. Damn fine.
This is literally the opposite of what you should do in a doctor's appointment and I am scrEAminG
Barry Allen altered the timeline again
I was thinking he looked like Grant Gustin the whole time.
Lmao
So does that mean we’re on Earth II?! That’s some bullshit
Finally, someone thinks the way I do! Thank you.
Groen Gras oH MY GOSH THATS WHO HE REMINDS ME OF WOAH
The doctor hitting his sweet spot 😂😂😂
r/suddenlygay
@@samanthavialpando4050 found the reddit user
Rene montes r/yep
🤔🤨😐😶😮🙁☹😟😩😫😖🥴😱🥺🤢
R/suddenlygay
This is exactly why I love John Mulaney: He always has some crazy story to tell! And on top of that he somehow never gets embarrassed from it, which is even more impressive because HOW?
Jason Podell maybe he finally got the xanax prescription
He bares it all for the sake of the joke
Jason Podell Because it’s usually at least partially made up.
dude his skin GLOWS, what highlighter he using
He is damp. He talks about it in his latest bit I believe. I think he has a condition.
@@KINDaf “He is damp” is so fucking funny to me for no reason
@@KINDaf I think I actually know someone like that
Drugs, he was using drugs
@@billnyesmassivethighs3847my body, is GROSS.
How can John Mulaney be THIS good at standup? Is it just me or is he like waaay better than every other stand up comedian I've ever seen.
I'm watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and the show made me appreciate stand-up comedians even more, John Mulaney especially
I love John but better than any other stand up comedian? Absolutely not. Maybe in top 10 all time but probably not, maybe top 5 current. There is some greats though who are way ahead of him. Pryor, Carlin even Dave Chappelle. They are on a different level. But I really do love John, he is excellent at his craft.
Kyle Kinane tells some pretty good stories too.
John is good, but Tim Hawkins, Dave Chapelle, and Nate Bargatze are better imo.
Mulaney is really good though
@@Tmacademia Nate bargatze is one of my favorite comedians
“And he was wearing reading glasses. To show that time had passed.” Was just the perfect way to end that lmao
Damn drew gooden looks hella weird in this
I didn't know Drew Gonzalez did stand up comedy
@@jungkookieisacutie9602 This has so many layers
@@SchoolComedyThursdaychannel indeed it does
That's such a dumb joke
Because we all know this is Danny Gonzalez.
JungKookie is a Cutie! i know this is a joke but he actually had before and its the best
"it was as if a ghost was trapped inside my belly and finally flew out towards the light" such a poetic way of saying he moaned 😁
That "sometimes I get nervous on airplanes" killed me everytime
cried laughing the first time i saw this
I lost my shit at work I couldn't even hide it
provacativemoose interesting choice of words there 😏😄
Haha, "This might as well happen" ;) 3:40
Lol
"And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time had passed."
HAHAHA!
I don't get that part, can you explain?
@@jackmichael448 sometimes in movies and tv shows, they'll do a flash forward where not enough time has passed that a character would look significantly different, so they'll have a character wear something to show that the character is different to how they were before the flash forward. Mulaney has worked on tv shows before so he's probably referencing this trope (I'm also gonna go out on limb and say that aside from the glasses he didn't look too different, causing them to stick out more).
"So I had to pick a number enough to warrant a doctor's visit, so I pick *ELEVEN* "
Love how he refers to the guy as batman
I have a friend with a story so similar to this but it happened when he was 17 and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life
Some y’all be afraid to moan in ya girls ear but I be like: 4:53
OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooomm
DNWNDJEJF
Someone said that he speaks Like This, Where You Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word, and goddamn that is fucken accurate
He's going to absolutely love his first colonoscopy.
Anne-droid fuck off the put you under for that
The colonoscopy is no problem, it's having to drink a whole gallon of that stuff that suspiciously looks and tastes like Prestone anti freeze radiator fluid. My advice to other people, tell the pharmacist you want the lime flavored one. Drink it at home on ice mixed with a little salt and tequila, that way the afternoon and evening won't be a total waste. Oh yeah, never stray farther than 20 feet from the bathroom.
Frank Kolton i’m still gagging from the taste of 4 liters of salty slimy liquid i had to take one year ago for my colonoscopy
@@frankkolton1780 well now I'm wondering how you know what the antifreeze tastes like…
i made them knock me out with anasthesia before they did coz NOPE
"My name is Barry Allen and I am the FASTEST man alive"
if hes the fastest man alive maybe that's why he can't get a date
@@mossman2353 you and Hawkgirl would get along very well
"My name is Barry Allen and SOMETIMES..."
@The_ Under_Xans bro...
@The_ Under_Xans bro?
This is even more funny now in 2023 knowing that he likely didn’t even NEED the Xanax
“And, he was wearing reading glassed to show that time had passed.”
Fucking comedy writing gold.
"Feeling *different* "
John is hilarious!!!!!
His voice and delivery is awesome!!
this bit is so disturbing once you’ve seen him spiral down and the Baby J special where he talks about Dr Michael
I feel like “Ah! We are approaching Martinique!” is such an underappreciated line in this
For some reason that always gets me
I liked that one too, and with the exaggerated accent, it was *chef's kiss*
And then he found a doctor that gave him all the pills he wanted😭
Yeah, but he still had to do degrading things to get them.
I'm a med student and i always wondered how (embarrassed) the patients felt when i examined them this way.
Maybe i shouldn't have known.
We're like 'Hey! What's your name?'
2 mins later: 'Pull your pants down.' -\_(•_•)_/- .
fairly adorable pancreas your username 😂😂😂
He got that Xanax prescription all right
Dr Michael rn:
at least dr michael didnt wanna give him a prostate exam every time he came
i’m watching this with the context that mulaney was a drug addict, and probably lying about needing xanax for anxiety, which makes that first bit about the carnival barker completely non-sequitur and also about 6x as funny
well he has said multiple times that he’s a nervous/anxious person, and maybe that contributed to self medicating
Baby J before rehab, it all makes sense now
"A ghost had been trapped in my belly"
And Batman says: 'shh your not gonna faint'
John: *faints*
Me: he told you you childish SOB he told you
Dr Michaels out here like "man i wish i got to do the prostate exam"
the amount of second hand embarrassment i got for him is overwhelming
“And he was wearing reading glasses, to show that time had passed” is the like the end of a short story
John poppin xannies
ThiccMac hella barred out you can barely understand me
No amount of money could make me tell ANYONE that 😭
That poor fucking doctor
The prescription joke was funny until you realize that a year and a half after this show, John went to rehab for addiction. Hope he maintains his sobriety.
One of the drugs being Xanax too 😭
This recording is from 8+ years before the rehab stint, but yeah hope he's well
Gotta love when the last joke is basically calling out a narrative trick, my authoring ass loves that
For some reason, the fact that he first pulled down his pants and then likely waddled to the observation table instead of the contrary is what I find funniest. Like that encompasses the whole braincells usage and general vibe of the experience and he says it with such nonchalance
7:48 that is the smile of defeat 💀
The bit about trying to get a Xanax prescription hasn’t aged great tbh lol
are you kidding? after his newest special this has aged AMAZINGLY. if he was still on drugs it wouldn’t be funny but because he’s off them it’s very funny
It was always a story about a guy trying to sneak his way into getting drugs. I think laughing about it the first time meant having to accept or hand-wave that part away.
@@Diego24fpsexactly. he makes it very obvious, he just wasnt getting all into it
Is this how his journey to find Dr. Michael? I guess this is why he was so cool with taking off his shirt.
4:33 you can tell he’s reliving the moment right there
the little voice crack xD
I kept picturing Andrew from Big Mouth doing this set, lol
me too! can't unhear 😅
Just a desperate attempt to impress Missy.
Just waiting for Maurice to say something in the background
I’m picturing Andrew just going
“OoOOoOOOOOOOOoooOooHmhhh” while getting a hand stuck up his asshole and I can’t stop laughing
Yessss
I'm wearing headphones in bed watching this, and I just woke my wife up laughing! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
*gasp* you mean this man had a drug problem? Never lolz
Dr Michael must be jealous
Everyone when something happens in 2020: 3:43
I’ve seen all of his specials so many times but every time I watch them again I’m surprised at how consistently funny he is the entire time. No joke or no line wasted. Everything he says is just hilarious.
I thought the title said "The First Time John Mulaney Accidentally Got a Prostate Exam" and I don't think I questioned 'first' as much as I should have
That is one of the best closing lines I have ever heard. You are my favourite comedian, you are basically what I use TH-cam for now.
"I was LYING. It was a LIE. To get drugs...Ya know? Like a crime." HAHHAA😂😂😂😂
Imagine being a doctor and hearing “OOOOOOOH” and “I’M SORRY"
I’m so in love with John Mulaney. And I just adore that he is always in suit and tie. He’s hilarious.
I legit HATED the makeover that Tan France did on him. Put him in skinny jeans and ankle boots. It was awful.
" Oh ! stick it in ! I am an American !"
Now I've heard this special before. But one of the great joys of life is realising old can still become new. And so John Mulaney went "ooooOOOOooooommmmmmmmm" and my mouth went "pfffffft" and my laptop spent the night on the floor without a battery
I used to work at UCLA, Medical Center, and I scheduled a prostate exam for my husband on a day that I was working. Wouldn’t you know it? It was the day there was a power outage in the whole hospital for a brief five seconds right in the middle of his prostate exam.
The doctor I was working with said we could probably hear him scream if we listened hard enough, lol.
i can never get through this bit cause i always end up like pissing myself laughing skjdskds underrated bit
dots do you piss yourself
~Frequently~?
ELEVEN
dots you might wanna get that checked out.
😜
“And I was like Batman look-“
“I bet l know what most things feel like” 🤣🤣🤣
one of my favorite bits. if you cant relate to xanax then just think of a dr visit flying off the rails cause you wanted to get a note excusing you from work. too funny.
Michael gave John a prostate exam? With his wife sleeping right there?
Fucking hell 🤣
Couldn't have been Michael. He was his back alley clonapin dealer
This bit is legendary it always gets a laugh out of me
"And as i was leaving who did i ran into but batman. And he smiled at me. And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time has passed" THIS OFFICIALLY IS ONE OF MY NEW TOP 10 MULANEY CUOTES.
When I bent over for my prostate exam, my doctor got behind me and said "OK, just pretend I'm Eli Manning back here." I said "No. I'm a Packer fan." He says "Don't say you're a Packer fan when I'm back here."
I've seen this so many times yet I'm still crying while laughing.
"And Batman said tome"
.
.
.
.
Can I just say i love all his voices
my dad told me this joke that was like "I always tell guys that when they get a prostate exam, make sure your doctor doesn't look like he can hold a basketball with one hand, and make sure there aren't 2 hands on your shoulders."
This may be the funniest bit in any stand up comedy set that I’ve ever seen
for legal reasons this is my absolute FAVORITE john mulaney bit
Oh my god i love mulauney. After years of watching bill burr and comedians like him and john is like a breath of fresh air. No more of that edgy political (if you can call jokes about feminism as political) just good well written comedic stories. Its just wholesome and shows that comedy does not need to be offensive
It was a lie to get drugs, ya know like a crime
No matter how many times I watch this it kill me every time
I want his “ooooohhhhhhhhhhmmmm” to be my phone alarm tone xD