He'll Fight For You (and Won't Take You For Granted) When THIS Happens
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
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I was left no choice but to ask my boyfriend to leave. He totally takes me for granted. No commitment. I am 60 already. No time to play games with a 58 yro kid.
Good advice as always. Right now I am spending more time with God and when the right man comes along, it is because the creator sent him to me. Don't chase love, let it find you.
I hear ya...
Love this I'm spending time with god too he never lets me down while I feel this man does or he's to immature to meet in the middle .
Amen!
People will disappoint you but God never does, as long as we have faith in Him.
Alles is voorbestemd
en gecreëerd door GOD.
I recently dated someone who wasn't emotionally available. It was sad not being able to grow in order to even develop trust. I think its important to pay attention when there lack of capacity and remove yourself sooner rather than later, because after a while, it just becomes too painful to keep trying for 2 people.
Excellent advice for those of us wanting to invest and grow with someone. I also appreciate your encouragement for us to move beyond "emotional constipation" and be radically honest with each other while working on personal development. 👍
Thank you 😊
I agree 100%! I spoke my needs from the beginning. We can go slow at first, getting to know each other, but my long term goals I put out there right away, that I intended to get married to the right Christian guy, or I would not marry, if I didn’t find the right one, as my expectations were high. My guy wasn’t sure about all that at first, but really respected my expectations and boundaries, and now 17 months later we are working toward getting married. It works! To be authentic, transparent and vulnerable, and build that trust with each other, as long as it’s with a good guy who can do the same, it is wonderful! Thanks Jonathon for all you share with us! ❤️
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Lucky you, you give me some hope.
Am only 29, but watching your channel for the last 18months has really changed my love life. Thank you Jonathon...
Sadly, a lot of divorced people have been damaged by what's happened and have not done the personal development work like therapy to heal. It's very important to be on the same page with someone and know yourself and your wants and needs. As you always say, Jonathon, ASK GOOD QUESTIONS right at the beginning so you know where the other person is coming from ...expectations play a BIG role. I'm capable of an equal partnership. I am loyal and want to be there for a man when he gets sick or whatever happens.
I especially enjoyed your caring and gentle encouraging presentation this morning. The different ways of looking at relationships really struck a chord with me - especially when you visually showed differing levels and relationship styles. How lucky we are to have you - a great teacher/coach who cares how we treat one another. Many thanks to you, Jonathon, with deep appreciation.
Thank you 😊
You’re awesome Jonathon, thanks once again. It’s hard starting again at 44, and navigating this new age online dating crap 🤮 Your videos give me hope and inspire me to meet the old fashioned way (where possible LOL) with face to face communication and gauging if they’re real. Would be nice to grow with someone again. Cheers for your video xx
Happy to help!
It's hard when both sides have been in charge of their life.... Nobody in my family .make decisions for me.. I am the boss for my life.
Love your information. I listen often and you are right on. From a single woman for 10 years with no boyfriends for 10 years, it's difficult to give up some of my things that I have had to be a boss for myself against my family .
Thank you...the amount of stress, in 2022, on top of all the challenges, it's unreal...🙄🙄🙄🙄
I am more into equal partners. Neither are good at everything. I have been mostly female but I am a fighter for rights to be equal but different. In many ways.❤️❤️❤️💕💕🌻🌻🌻🌻
I'm 60; stuff, is still the same...I didn't want to " raise " my spouse, because I already was raising my son ..Vast majority, can't handle finances properly...in the times we are in, even worse...you would think COVID, was a " wake - up call "...
The " prospective dates and relationships I had " , were already in poor finances, dating...Couldn't imagine, a lifelong commitment, I didn't want worse; like, the streets, because of poor money management...One of my ex's, had 10 past residences, and spent 50 years, renting...!? That wasn't a huge, red flag !? And couldn't stand to stay in 1 place; to pay off a home mortgage...!!
So many women, have " depended " on their spouses; to the point, the spouse passes away, they are left, with literally, nothing...in death, the income, and social security, both stop...so 90 percent of women, especially if they haven't worked, are " left, behind the 8 ball "...
Can you both; sit down, and pay bills, without fighting !? Instead of savings and investments, is he at the local bar, smoking and drinking !? Or gambling, or hotel rooms, with affairs, all over the place !?
I received your book 📖 and others you recommended today!!! Reading your book first. 😊🙏🏼
I think that this book is probaby a very good tool that a lot of excellent time and thought has gone into it. Id just like to point out that I can read and absorb this book and Ive read many many books of personal development, and I have attempted to share and apply it to the other persons. However, like you said, if the other person is NOT interested in a longterm relationship or growing together, it just dosent work. I know my own worth and love myself, and I have learned to continue to do so, and have learned to stop puting so much loving energy into men, who always turn out to be emotionally unavailable, take me for ganted, and not into wanting to grow with me.
A time long I watched your video sir and I must say this is what I really need to hear... Thanks for sharing this, obviously we want a relationship and bonding but might not really know what's into it. Or might not know how much we should build the relationship and gain trust, and like you said......that is done through an emotional intimacy and with spending time with eachother (attention, affection appreciation, acceptance)
Thank you as always Jonathan great video. I feel long distance thing is kind of taking its toll on me, I might maybe need to make that call 😆
I am glad you included 6 seats and seventies most people don't they leave us out👍🏾👏🏾
I would like commitment. He is afraid.
When you tell men in the talking phase that your looking for a committed monogamous LTR .. they get defensive and say.. sounds like you want to get married tomorrow.. so I dont even get past that stage..& when they lie & say things you want to hear.. i waste my time meeting them! Frustrating to say the least
Maybe because these men don't know a clue about what a romantic relationship means from all facets.
Agreed.. so the only relationship that is out there is a FWB type.. not what i want.. but do want companionship.. so no choice!
@@gcohen9855 There’s always a choice. Not all men are looking for fwb so be hopeful. You can also choose yourself until you find your person. Good luck
I've done this and learned these men aren't capable of serious relationships. Also, defensive behavior is a sign of unhealed trauma, a therapist I saw years ago said this behavior stems from childhood wounds. His parents probably yelled at him when he was was a child.
Hi Jonathon, love your content! Avid listener. One request- can your recording mic be any louder? I listen to you while walking, and have iPhone/earbud volume as high as it goes. I struggle to hear you fully. If that vol increase is possible on your end that would be great. Thx for your info, and consideration😁😁
Another video with great, solid advice! Love your channel Johnathan! 💕
Thanks so much!
Thanks for expanding on the 4 As of Love from Being an Adult in Relationship. Good book!
My pleasure 🙏
A great video with lots of useful content.I love the reminder to be intentional and to use radical honesty😀
Great video! To the point! Thank you so much!! Can you do video on how to be vulnerable with out being afraid !
Great suggestion!
How do you end something casual that you agreed to, “casual but probably commitment later,” and then you find it sucks? End it In person ? Text ? Use As little words as possible, or truly communicate your feelings and experience. I care about this person, but he’s really letting me down big time, and I’ve determined this needs to end. Thanks for your feedback !
Sounds like you are not on the same page. 😬
@@JonathonAslay I agree- thank you for your reply
If it's casual who cares. I had similar situation ended via text.
End it in a way that feels most comfortable for you. Since Guys don't do "closure", therefore, this is for you. It will not matter to him the same way it matters for you. Make sure you're in a safe environment no matter what happens. And be very clear you do not wish to continue to see him anymore; and wish him well. If he calls you down the road, rinse, wash, repeat! If you really mean that, then you will be successful moving on to a new relationship.
@@sfoster4874 only a Sith speaks in absolutes.
The bible spills all the beans
You drink Taylor’s Port ha ha ha… Do you know where I live, Jonathon? Exact in OPorto - Portugal… that’s why I know… ha ha
Awwww, SO cute, the little white teddy bear! 💕 Really great insight and coaching, thank you! 😃👍
Spend time vs. looking to grow is great advice - thank you
Amen 🙏
Thank you, Jonathan...always enjoy, your podcasts ..!!
Love the T shirt
I love your videos and I agree with so much you say but the work takes years like you said. Since it takes so long we end up
Either having several different partners and adding possibly more trauma and need for healing or being alone which I don’t think is what a human needs.
Thank u...btw: men text and call to talk waaaay more than I ...I don't enjoy those
It's true you have to know up front otherwise you are wasting you're time in dating.
Thank you thank you!! You have helped me so much- God bless you
Your woman client sounds incredibly naive. Never assume anything. I wised up and I don't assume a man wants commitment just because we are dating. I received several marriage proposals last year. I'm serious & I'm over 50! Then again, I know who I am. I'm confident and I am a follower of Christ. Yes!! Love you Jonathan.
@Danny Jon-Phillips Is he a therapist or relationship expert?
Love da t-shirt. Your informative as always. Thank you Jon.
M-i received your hug of love. It was Kind.
Awesome on Deliverance💙👑
Thank you 😊
Im New to your channel
I love it
Learning, alot
In the 60' age group
Never, too old to learn...
Thank you
Thanks for watching!
Love all your content. It's very grounding, logical and genuine for me. Your videos often have me pondering the 5 love languages and how important they are to me. I hear you often talk about the top two. I'm struggling with figuring out what my top two are or if I even need to rate them in that way? I don't feel like I have just a top two and struggle with this. Would you mind talking about that for those that maybe struggling to figure this out for themselves as well? Much appreciation for your work and the good you bring to the world of relationships. I did not grow up in a healthy environment and am on a personal life-long journey to be my best person, lover, partner, Mother, daughter, sister, friend. Thank you for the gift of inspiration and practical, useful tools!
Hi, I highly that you do the questionnaire either from the book or online from The Five Love Languages ... Johnathon is always recommending this book. Answer all the questions as truthfully and carefully as you can, then rate your answers according to their categories. Most people have one main love language, but some, like me, have 2, with all the others being very important as well. I heartily recommend that you read the entire book as well - you'll be totally surprised by the information and case stories presented. It's way too complicated and intricate a topic for Johnathon's videos in my view. He's done his job by introducing us to the concept, now you need to do your part, like I did, and wow, what an eye-opener it is!!! You won't regret it, I surely don't!! Find out what your love language is, then learn about what those of your partner, family members and even friends are ... and your relationships will improve beyond your wildest dreams when you put your new-found knowledge into action. Happy researching!
Good advice BIG BIG HUGG Jonathan ❤️❤️
Thank you for insight perspective would have been better if I knew years ago.
TY
I like the authenticity in your videos. Thanks!
I'm new here.. brilliant ...trust is the problem ... I asked y now are you all for me when before you were always coming an going and letting me down ..he said ..oh your trying to wind me up I said no I'm expressing myself! Sounds like he doesn't like when I do this like I'm irratating him but it goes back to trust !! He's away !! So I'm scared he's just bulkshitting me and when he comes back hel act the same as before ...this behaviour getting annoyed with me whilst I express myself makes me not trust I feel empty IV been trying to invest in myself I am investing in myself since he's gone but I have expectations and I guess I'm not fully happy with my life I'm waiting on him to come back and IL be whole again ..I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be back with someone you miss and love but I don't trust his words ..I guess now I have to just look after myself and expect nothing from him it's quiet possible that will happen from the way he's acting getting pissed off when I express my worrys ..and his past actions .
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Fighting just dissolves a relationship.
Yes I have all of those. He won’t commit just says it’s best we are friends at this point. Am I sapposed to stay?
What do you want to say?
That after all this time he would know if I was the one so maybe it’s best we go separate ways.
How long have you know him?
@@giuliana5888 8 years
Is he ok with being treated like a friend only?
Real human behavior 👏
🙏
Jonathon, what happens when you have everything but do not get along with each other’s kids?! Is this a deal breaker?
Absolutely that is a deal breaker. Most importantly the kids must like your partner or it will never work.
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t like your kids??
My deal breaker is if my kids didn’t like him or if he did not make an effort to know them.
A man who really loves you will love your kids too. Your a full package. 🌟
"fighting"=making the effort to make it work
I find men are asking for your phone # right after they meet you and I find it to be to soon
From what observe most folks do that...
@@JonathonAslay I'm talking online and I don't want everyone to have my phone #
@@kimfrederick7710 if you don't feel comfortable giving a certain guy your number...don't, they're not the one for you.
@@domesticgoddess1426 I don't, I simply state to them I'm not comfortable giving out my phone number and if they choose to continue talking to me that's on them
I don’t ask the questions because I’ll have to answer them myself. I’m not sure what my own answers are. 😐
Gotcha
Watching Replay~👀
Thank You for this Wonderful Video and Great Content Jonathon! 🙏
Watching you and your Channel is Helping me So Much as I continue to Stay Open to a Genuine, Happy Loving Relationship again...💕 I love when you shared about a person Loving you as much as you Love Yourself and someone that has your Back! I want that again! Until then I will continue to Love Myself, Trust, and Enjoy my Own Company! 💫✨💜✨💫
I love so many more things you have said as well... 💖💖💖
You're the best!
@@JonathonAslay 💫✨🙏✨💫
Thank you for your insight. Your insight resonates with me. Kind Regards!💫
My pleasure 🙏
Love the explanation about your shirt! Yes! Lifelong learners!
Thank you 😊
You read some amazing books. Will have to look into the other ones you have suggested ☺️
👍
The tshirt! 🥰🤣🤣
Thank you 😊 Johnathon 🤗
Been watching every chance I get,but being a Leo sign, I keep busy.Love your program
awe... thank you. BTW, do you own a vineyard?
@@JonathonAslay No I would be drinking some wine and probably not get much done in a day.Actually that is my last name Cellars
🤗ty for this info
Awesome advise!!!
Well said!!!
Thanks Jonathon
Great video Jonathan. Thanks
Thank you 😊
Jonathon, do you feel loveable and likable?
Sometimes no... 😔
@@JonathonAslay Thanks for your honesty
Amen
But how do you grow together when you live a distance (over two hours) away from each other and he’s not willing to move here? I was clear from the beginning that I wasn’t willing to move, and he was fine with making ‘the move’ when we were at that point. Otherwise our relationship is good. I feel like we’re at an impasse.
One thing's for certain in life: change! Time to revisit the beginning agreement. Stand up for your values. Perhaps it has become clear to one of you that this isn't going to work for the long haul. If one of you is no longer interested in investing in it, it's over. You can run but you can't hide from it :( In any event, mean what you say, and say what you mean. Hugs!
Radical honesty.
@@sfoster4874 it’s been three years so I think you’re right. I’ve asked what his intentions are (after being very clear about mine) and he couldn’t answer. I’m ready to move forward but he seems ‘stuck’ which is a red flag in itself. Thanks for your insights.
@Amina Isah just stop.
@@lomalo2702 don’t listen to SFoster. They make a lot of comments on this channel but it’s clear they are still learning. They shouldn’t be giving you advice when they know nothing about your situation other than a TH-cam comment. Go with the actual coache’s advice and use Radical Honesty, not the comments section’s advice.
LOVE your videos.... there's always a takeaway even when it's something I already kinda know...learning about people and the nuances that come with getting to know them is a lifelong process.
Thank you 😊