3 Social Traits that Annoy INFJs
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ย. 2024
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Spot on. I feel like the negative response to abrasiveness is at least in part a nervous system response. Loud, uncouth people who are clueless to their effect on others (me) grate on me, like nails on a chalkboard. It's both the sensory effect and then their total unawareness of that. They aren't capable of "getting" it and choosing to be otherwise, which leaves self-protection my only option. Over stimulation is a real problem, and with abrasive people there's no positive side to counter balance the energy drain. Give me a talkative, but gentle-hearted INFP etc over that any day.
Picky indeed 😂 Extra annoyed by loud obnoxious and abrasive people.
Great insight on the most annoying traits! I fully agree with most of it.
Only thing that I have reservations with is INFJ being a great listener. At least I have tendency to be hanging inside my Ni world and subconsciously fake listening with all the proper sounds and nodding but actually I don’t hear anything. This happens especially if it is not an actual social situation but someone just says something in passing. I have been told that my fake listening is really believable and they don’t know there is no connection.
Also I have a tendency to suddenly drop to my Ni world in the middle of conversation or even a meeting if there is a lull in conversation. Sometimes I can get lost in my thoughts in the middle of my own sentence! I really are not that great at listening all the time.
That being said I am an attentive listener if you first get my attention and then we are focusing on the topic discussed. I am not rude on purpose. But if there is a break in conversation or some specific thing catches my attention, my brain just follows it and I am staring into nothingness totally lost to the world. Thankfully my family and friends are used to it by now. 😂
I had to gradually learn to "fake listen". And even now it's mostly half-heartedly listening if it all. Like it's disrespecting the other person if in a conversation if one is not attentive. I rather choose ending the conversation, if not interested or lack the energy.
I find people fascinating in a philosophical sense., in the real world not so much. I literally have just blown off a dinner date (with someone I actually like) to stay at home and read Virginia Wolfe's The Waves. People are more exhausting than post modernist literature, there I said it out loud.
Infj here. That was excellent. I can so identify with abrasive dominance. Especially when it comes to the irritation that is expressed when the abrasive one is asked a question for clarification or to insert details while actively listening. It's more like people hide their insecurities with an emotional rant on INFJs that are willing to listen instead of having a conversation. Maybe because they feel threatened by the infj's calm hard truth. I find that the more I try to be calm and understanding the more it makes people insecure and abrasive sometimes. They want to intimidate me and make me insecure to get me on their level of failure.
Absolutely agree 💯! The amount of people that have this burning *need* to intimidate me to get their point across.. And we could be talking about the weather. It’s so absolutely unnecessary that it almost makes me ill.
Hit it on the nail as always! I don’t get along well with ExTJs, and that’s my biggest problem. I find them unnecessarily abrasive. I feel as though things could be accomplished without the harshness. I do judge people for that. It comes off to me as a lack of social standards, and lack of EQ. I also dislike talkers. Especially being in school still, I cannot stand when people can’t pipe down. It typically is when it is obnoxious and unnecessarily speaking. Most of the times what they are saying has no value, and that is what’s annoying. I have an INFP friend who only ever talks about herself and her problems. It frustrates me because I enjoy her and like her, but it’s hard sometimes when I’m not listened to myself. When I’m not given the chance to share anything myself. Always so accurate! Thank you for your insights!
As an INFJ, I like people, but I also get annoyed by most in personal relationships. I'm caring but also pretty disagreeable, I've noticed.
Very good video indeed. Especially reason no.3. One of the reasons my relationship with my enfp ex-girlfriend had to end. She couldn't stop talking for minutes, rumbling on and about. while at the same time struggeling very hard not to interrupt people after max two sentences. Saying she knows what i'm trying to say anyway... but also feeling like she was not being able to talk freely (after 3min monologue with 100 different points thrown in for good measure). Hardly anything more annoying than that.
I experience this with an INFP friend! When I try to say anything I am shut down and she continues on talking herself… very annoying
Spot on as usual! I have acquired both your books and I am thoroughly impressed! You are such a treasure!
I tend to really dislike socializing with Se and Te dominants. They have an aggression and a forcefulness that has too much of an edge for comfort.
SE depends IMO
We are judgmental and intense. Puts off people.
thank you for continuing to make these videos. i appreciate them a lot & i hope you keep posting! don't ever feel like this work is being a time waster for yourself or any of us!
OMG ... I work at a mental health day service here in NZ and I tell yah the last one ... My patience is tested to the full when thinking about a couple of my clients in particular. It astounds me how interesting it is to watch groups of people move away from one person. I have all the time in the world but sometimes I don't lol.
I think for me personally, neither insensitivity or sensitivity really offends me, but treating your insensitivity or sensitivity debaucherously. To me those who are less agreeable when it comes towards their disposition doesn't automatically equate to being someone that isn't worth listening to, however I do believe that a common occurrence of treating people as their values or experiences doesn't matter can lead to trouble and therefore I want to equate less to that person. When someone is being oversensitive, in the sense that they aren't actually understanding the issues, but instead reacting based on emotional stimuli makes a big impression that person is not mature enough to handle matters in a effective of proficient way.
Are you familiar with Caroline Myss? Do you think that the Enneagram informs the MBTI?
iam a worldview type also an intj
but iam not motivated to ramble with anyone
why is that?
mbti is one typology system. One infj wont be exactly the same as another. There's a system called Attitudal Psyche and Psychosophy which explain a lot more, also enneagram and socionics.
Normal for an INTJ. Probably due to our Ni dom function, Se 4th, and Fe 7th.
Talking, socializing is the last thing we want to do (not ourselves) (unless it help us to reach our Ni goals, is about something important/existential, help us/them in a practical way Te, or if we really value them Fi)