I’m going to treatment , but only have time for detox and would like help to find a very effective outpatient program in my area. I have spoken to great personalities over the phone. However, I went for the first time during the beginning of the pandemic.
Not everyone who watches this has a drinking problem! Have you thought that friends and relatives of a problem drinker might be watching this to learn!!!???? I found that part not only insulting and punitive, but detrimental to your video/channel. After that statement, my strong response was to shut the video down. However, I truly was hoping that I could learn something from it and didn’t hit stop. You might want to re address this issue. I actually saw a comment by someone in my position who did turn it off immediately.
1. Hard time relaxing, enjoying yourself without alcohol 2. Can't remember what you did the night before. 3. Trying to manage consumption/questioning if you drink too much 4. The people closest to you are hinting/commenting/voicing concern over your consumption 5. You avoid conversation about your drinking / sneak drinking
I am a functioning alcoholic. I’m Australian and doing very well in my job (electrician), but I was progressively drinking more and more. The past two weeks I have drank every single night (the most I’ve ever drank). Tonight, I searched this before my problem got out of hand. Thank you for the insights, I certainly have a few of these.
Yes, i have never been big on alcohol before, untill, about a year ago! Now, i drink every day ( about 10cl whisky). Which don't seem a lot. But, if i don't have a drink now by the afternoon, i am starting to get kinda edgy. This stuff can get u hooked before u even thought "Hold on, do i have a problem". 😉
@@antoinettenovella1630 thanks, i know . As mentioned only drink 10cl = 100ml= 3 shots. And that is actually still a lot. 🙂 I am a small lady as well. A bit worried about being a habitual alcoholic. 😏
Today am exactly 21 days since I finally decided to stop drinking. I used to drink at least 1 beer everyday, and at least 2-3 days of heavy drinking (6 plus beers) a week. And from this video, I was perfectly a functioning alcoholic. Sometimes am going through really strong urges to take a beer but I have conquered 21 consecutive days. I hope 1 will make it to 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, a year, and a lifetime of sobriety. For people with an alcohol problem, feel encouraged to stop. It all starts with you. You can do it💪
I drank alcoholically for decades yet I can't remember when I could count the number of beers I consumed in single digits. You are not an alcoholic. If you don't want to drink with the same frequency as you have been or you believe drinking is a growing problem for you, then stop or moderate. But alcoholism is a physiological dependency on alcohol; that is, if you stop suddenly you are going to go into withdrawal and possibly experience DT's, seizures and death. By the end of my run, I was consuming over 40 oz. of vodka a day, using cocaine, opiates and tranquilizers. It took 2 years of abstinence from alcohol and 5 years on methadone before I felt like I'd gotten free.
13 months sober here and I identify with many of these signs. I was a functional drinker for years and in the last year before I quit I suddenly went downhill...dragged myself to the gym where before I was doing 5 sessions I would only do 2 sessions a week. I'd work from home on Mondays and sleep through meetings with my camera off still recovering from the weekend. My relationship with my wife (who also was an alcoholic) had descended into nothing but bickering. I had been functional for so long I thought I had it under control and then BOOM it starts to slide. Be careful out there people.
My little sister was a functioning alcoholic with a great job. Sober all day until she got home and popped a wine bottle. I went to al-anon and they were useless other than to confirm what I already knew. They won't change unless they hit rock bottom. Well, she hit rock bottom, she died of liver desease waiting for a transplant.
I’m so sorry about your sister, that is so sad. Al-Anon is not for everyone but when you say it is useless, I think perhaps you were thinking they were going to ‘fix’ your sister, and that is not what their program is about. It is about supporting families and friends of alcoholics to cope and to look at their own behaviours and in changing them will hopefully lead to the alcoholic getting sober. Al-Anon was wonderful for me. It changed my way of looking at the issue with my husband’s drinking which I was obsessed with and it was making me sick and a poor mother, and supported me to focus on myself and my behaviours instead. It gave me the strength, courage and peace of mind to decide to leave him. That was 35 years ago. He continues to drink and is in very poor health. He has had many opportunities over the years to have support to stop drinking but has chosen not to. I do not regret parting ways with him at all. I am now trying to deal with my 37 year old sons ADHD and substance abuse. Much harder to deal with when it’s your child, can’t divorce them and distance yourself like you can with a husband. I think I need to go back to Al-Anon.
9 days alcohol free, 15 from cannabis. I had a moderate alcohol use disorder that I didn’t believe was a use disorder. Working through mild and sometimes moderate withdrawal symptoms. One of my brothers is alcoholic, another who cannot have fun or be himself without alcohol and is also a sex addict that caused major marital problems over and over again. My real crux is cannabis but I enjoyed it a lot with alcohol. These symptoms you talk about I resonate with. Never thought I had a problem until I started researching sobriety topics.
I realized recently I’m a functioning Alcoholic..., 3 to 4 nights a week a few cocktails after work & I hate feeling like sh*t the next morning and I’m ready to quit for good..., 9 days no alcohol. I’m feeling amazing 🥰
when I was a functional alcoholic, I tripled check things constantly...promised lots of cool things to my kids and didn't remember the next morning, functions that I attended were nothing but a blur, folks telling you how funny you were and interesting dance moves that you didn't know you did, waking up finding out you drove the wrong car home and trying to find out where your car is and how to return the one you took. I am so glad I don't drink anymore, life is much more coherent and clear.
Wow. I have all this. I live alone and get drunk almost every night. I drink at work, got a DUI, made many horrible decisions, and just recently started having thoughts of suicide. I need to get it together..
Hi Steven, it sounds like you're ready for a change. This is Andrew's recovery story. I thought it might help: th-cam.com/video/w1nU2Vq073Q/w-d-xo.html
I was there. Find AA group fast. If you put your work in it I promise it'll get better. Stay away from people that pressure you to drink. I have no friends but I'm sober.
You can get help. Alcoholism is a disease. You're not responsible for your illness but you are responsible for finding help. AA is a great program. You work on your emotions and get to know why you needed to cover them up in the first place. I wish everyone could recover and find the freedom and happiness that I have found in being abstinent. 🙂
As a recovering "mostly" functional alcoholic (19 yrs sober) your observations are dead on. Sometimes knowing what I did the night before was worse than not knowing. Another way to tell if someone has a drinking problem is that there stories seldom end with "and then I got home".
Thank you Amber for your insights and knowledge!You have been helpful in separating the issues to understand alcoholism from the addicts perspective and for the loved ones involved. After nearly three and a half years together, I asked my functioning alcoholic to leave. It was extremely difficult but I no longer wanted to have a “front row seat” to his addiction. In retrospect, we were both in a codependent relationship, which in the long run was never going last. I tried to love him through the addiction but understand so clearly now you can’t help anyone who is in denial. He has all the signs of a functioning alcoholic but also uses drugs sometimes, had health issue’s physically and mentally. He has narcissistic tendencies, anger issues, an antagonist, a manipulator and a liar. He said he wants to try and stay friends and I said no because you have never apologised for using me and disrespecting me and sometimes being aggressive. I said I actually don’t like you! I did love him once ( and he said he loved me) but it has now been replaced with contempt, resentment and anger towards him. His family and myself have tried to encourage professional help many many times. But we get told to stop telling him what to do and he won’t talk about it. I was becoming depressed and seriously unhappy so I told him I’m done and you need to leave. He picks up his final stuff today 🙏🏻 I can only change my reaction and my choices - I know that now. I finally have peace and serenity in my home. Time to heal and rebuild my life. Thank you Amber for your straight talking advice x
Life update for those who may need to make the same choice ? This is the first research I’ve done. I’m afraid I’ll end up where you got to. Are you happy you left ?
I am blown away at how spot-on your observations are! The part about the way someone might hide drinking at home or slide it around at a restaurant were unbelievably accurate. I am doing all of that. And I hate it. And I wake up hating myself every day. I desperately want to change. But it is so hard.
I asked my husband to please ease up on his drinking while our daughter was staying with us for a few weeks. It made him so mad he has not spoken to me in three days, and he did not ease up on his drinking. He is a functioning alcoholic
I completely understand every time I asked my husband to slow down he doesn’t. Every time I try to talk to about it he refuses to have a conversation about it.
@charmee4045 is easy to say. Many reasons why people can't leave their homes. My daughter is an adult, but yes, terrible for our entire family. Wasn't always like that. I will say that It has gotten some a tiny bit, but better. Also, it seems easy for people to say run, leave, go. Go where? I'm 63 years old.
I am dealing with the same thing atm I can’t leave. Where am I gonna go? There is a recession on the horizon. Ya I could go to work and do the whole independent thing, again. I just got married less than 2yrs ago. All the videos say that I have to go be the role model, I just shut down. For what, to be trampled on more? lol, I can’t do this anymore tho. It’s a torment, a quiet tournament. Praying the spirit of rejection leave our home.
Thank you so much! My husband has all of these. Since he told everyone he was going to rehab, it feels like no one understands. Like they really don't think it was necessary. It made me think twice.
Often times the spouse is the only one to know when it's functional alcoholism. It is frustrating when other people say it's not a problem. Trust me, no one takes themselves to rehab by accident!
Since I’ve watched a few of your videos others are showing up in my feed. This one perfectly describes my friend, as she has all five of the signs. Before ever seeing this I mentioned “functional alcoholism” to her, but she dismissed it and said she didn’t have a problem. Again it’s me being never happy with her and my “insecurities”. Had I done this research sooner, I probably could have navigated it better with her. I saw each symptom and addressed specific incidents, but it’s the larger addiction issue that needs attention. Again, I can’t help her anymore but your videos help me realize I wasn’t the bad guy. Thanks.
The hardest part of being a functional alcoholic and being completely aware that you are is it makes it very very hard to stop because right now it is working for you! However in the back of your mind you know one misstep and you just ruined your completely functioning life!
I went on a date with someone who I suspected was a functioning alcoholic. He said that during the week he doesn’t drink that much but that he loooves tequila during on vacation. He also said he had troubling sleeping so he started taking marijuana gummy bears so he could sleep... well that was a red flag 🚩. His conversation also seemed slow and since I don’t drink he was literally obsessed with offering me cocktails. It was as he could not believe that I wasn’t big on drinking... and at one point he was also short tempered. All in all he was handsome and smart but I could NOT get past the alcohol problem since I don’t drink much. I could see that down the line the life of this guy was going to be bad. So sad 😭
I m from a family loaded with alcoholics and drug addicts. Fortunately I could never tolerate it bc it made me vomit. I’m so glad. I have seen alcohol ruin so many lives.
Once in denial I genuinely told the therapist "I'm not an alcoholic. I work 50 hours a week, I never miss work, I'm saving up money and doing well financially."
That's my mum. She works, she does a lot for me, especially being autistic but it's become too much seeing her drink. Sometimes she knows she is and needs help and then she'll forget that and just starts saying she's better on the drink because it's helped her through the bad times. She also says because I only drink wine she isn't an alcoholic yet she drinks alcohol pretty much every day. My aunt was the opposite with drink, she was really bad with it, like really scary to see and my younger sister even agrees seeing our aunt like that was bad enough. I want my mum to be able to see there are better ways of dealing with past trauma. I absolutely understand her when she says therapy doesn't help, I went through a time when therapy didn't help me and it's easy to assume just because it didn't help once, it will never help again. I quickly learned the best thing you can do is be honest with others and yourself, because the more honest you are the more you go right I know this really is an issue. Sorry for wittering on, it's hard to explain things sometimes
I told one that I've never had blackouts, which is true. I never woke up the next day and discovered I did something I didn't remember doing. But 6 years removed from it, I realize I only vaguely remember a 4 year blur. I've always been scary accurate about remembering dates and periods of time when things happened, friends would always be shocked by my ability. But there's 4 years now where it's like "yeah that happened at some point during those 4 years, no idea when."
Always looking for help on how to start a conversation with a person that has the issue without hurting their feelings and putting them down, I'm not the one with the issue. As you suggested I'm going to go look at your other videos. Thank you so much.
My ex told me "I just enjoy the actual taste of the beer, I can stop whenever" as soon as I heard that I knew I was in for a difficult time and he actually had a serious problem.
I feel like I'm most definitely going into that FA territory. Been using at least 5 or 6 times a week for the past 2 months but I NEVER go into blackout mode. I work at a store and have bad social anxiety and sad to say, a few shots in the morning helps me be a little social with customers/coworkers but it's still in the back of my mind that I'm going down a bad road. It also takes the edge off my stressful home life, wish I could get myself out it this ugly cycle.
I just called off my wedding. He got a DUI. He made more promises to stop drinking. I know how ashamed he is, and it just hurts. I don’t understand how it got this bad
This describes my partner. 1. I recently told him I organised a catch up with another local couple at the park for a play date for our young kids (also so we can meet people in our new town). He asked “am I allowed to drink?”.. it was both frustrating and sad. Never wants to do any activities that don’t involve drinking. 2. Not sure if he doesn’t remember or he’s gaslighting me, but denies things happened the next day. 3. Told me when we moved in January that he’d cut back to weekends only. He’s still drinking 4-5 nights a week, ranging anywhere from 6 beers to 15 beers per session. 4. To everyone else he’s a hard worker and family man. I see the man that comes home from work, sits outside, drinks, basically ignores his family and then picks fights with me when he’s drunk. But at the same time I’m tired of trying to get him to see it’s a problem so we are basically just room mates now. 5. Trying to talk to him about his drinking when he’s sober only results in him getting defensive and argumentative.
I binge drink once or twice a week, can't stop when I start it so it's now time to stay away from it completely. I've grown up with a family of alcoholics and it's got to the point where I actually feel the next day after drinking I feel suicidal - this is scary, that's why I'm 100% this time around ready to stop for me and my partner. I'm sick of hiding the extra bottle of wine I buy when I pretend I just bought one! It's not pretty anymore. Here's to being sober 🙏
@@bryansimms7005 ye actually alright how you doing bud? I've started to moderate my intake once a week on a Saturday night, big step for me and we'll worth it...
I've been a functioning alcoholic for 32 years. Never lost a job, never got a DUI, was able to keep it from most everyone, etc. I'm now at 55 ready to throw things away. I can't deal with this anymore and need to bow out. I've done a month in rehab 12 years ago, I've done AA, I lost a step father to suicide who was an alcoholic, I had two cousins who died of alcoholism and this demon seems to run though both sides of my family. My insurance does not cover any kind of addiction recovery and the cost is so prohibitive. I'm a data nerd and keep a spreadsheet of my consumption. Since my last "dry spot" that ended November 9, 2020, I've consumed 18.75 gallons of gin. My intestines are wrecked and I have no happiness. I'm ready to put and end to it.
I'm not a fun alcoholic anymore I noticed I get angry now when I drink it use to be my happy drink but now all these thoughts I have buried start to surface then I get upset :(
Hi Janet! That's very insightful. Ultimately alcohol will make you relive all the bad things that have happened to you over and over. It will keep you stuck. Here's a video about taking small steps toward change. Hope it helps: th-cam.com/video/1lLmRjg0cdc/w-d-xo.html
As you imply, a functional alcoholic is an oxymoron, at least in my case. I am an alcoholic in recovery. I haven't had a drink in 2 years, and the longer I'm sober and in AA, the more I realize how dysfunctional I was in my drinking, despite my delusions. Also, at least in my case, alcoholism is a progressive disease. It never gets better until/ unless you stop completely. Thank you for posting this, and I hope that everyone who has this problem finds a/the solution. There _is_ a solution!
You hit all of our main problems. You can dig much deeper though and provide in depth symptoms and differentiate between the stages of alcoholism. The further that I get down this road, I understand that quitting is quitting. False promises only tear you down further!
Nobody close to me thought I had a problem because I was so good at sneak drinking. 😬 It was a morning after sneak-drinking probably 3 extra glasses of wine one night that I was like "Okay. This isn't good. This is going to take you down a path you don't want to go down. It's time to face yourself" This was after two weeks of trying to set limits for myself of how many glasses per night and per week I could have, and simply failing at it. So I decided to cut alcohol off completely, and right now I'm 114 days sober. My family drinks and my parents (who love their wine) still don't really get why I quit drinking, partly because it feels so personal to me that I haven't talked to them much about it beyond "Hey, no need to offer me wine at dinners anymore, I'm just not drinking anymore right now. No, I'm not pregnant." That and letting them know when I was 100 days sober because I felt proud of myself, thinking I could never do it. I suppose I SHOULD talk more about it with them though because just the other day, after THIS long of not drinking around them, my mom started talking about how this summer we should all go to this beautiful winery together hahah. Mom! I don't think that would be super fun for me anymore haha. 😆
Sara I don't know how you went in your journey but as a complete stranger I want to say to you, the choice you made was so amazing. Sometimes in a family 1 person has to stand up and say "This may be everybody elses truth. It will not be mine. It stops with me." And that takes an unbelieveable amount of guts. Well done you. I see you. 🙏
My husband drinks every night in life. He leaves out 4 tins of beer when the family know he has had a bottle of wine aswell. Refuses to address the problem and he says it's his right to drink because he works hard everyday. He is destroying his family and he does not care
Alcohol causes brain changes, learned abhorrent behavior of all sorts, blackouts, broken families, infidelity, joyless lives, DUIs, lawyers, lost jobs, lost wages, it basically ruins lives and can cost $2000/month. Naltrexone does none of those things. In fact, it helps the brain reverse all of those things. Naltrexone, you may start out taking 1 pill a day, but you end up taking 1 pill a month or less. Some take no naltrexone after 4-12 months ! TEDx talk th-cam.com/video/6EghiY_s2ts/w-d-xo.html Documentary www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07NBWMH9D
oh yes...if I was to call myself an alcoholic-I was a functional one...never missed work, never got an DUI, got along with everyone, etc....it was the controlled drinking from the home, by myself, at a certain time didn't leave the house once I started.....my bottles were getting bigger and my trips to the liquor store was every other day..The bottles was running my life and I was dancing to it. People usually do not treat the underlying reasons of alcoholism-just the symtoms--need to get to the core of why we went there...Proud Sober of 14 yrs now-
I've been playing this on a outdoor speaker for my alcoholic female neighbour, it's stopped her from abusing us when she is drunk!! Thank you so much!🙌❤
I'm a functional alcoholic.. I even get raises and promoted frequently for how good I do at my job. I drink even on the job! I bring it in coke bottles and no one ever addresses it because I portray myself as a goody here. This video really was spot on in every point it made.
Hi Angelavery7602! I see a lot of business people who have very similar stories. The sad part is, that the company will bail when the alcohol problems start to create a lot of unmanageability.
Your videos are very informative. Thank you for posting them..I have made some choices in my life and stopped drinking and seeked help because of your videos. Much appreciated
In March I decided to quit on 1st November...so far I believe I will never taste the mocker. Thanks for the video because you were talking to me and maybe many others out there in the battle
Hi Albino, It's totally normal to have some ambivalence and stopping drinking. You don't have to be 100% sure. (51% will work!!!! ) Then create accountability for yourself, so that if you drop below 51% there is some thing will keep you sober even on days when you don't want to!
Totally resonates for me. I have been struggling.. I have had people say. No. You are fine. You don’t have a problem. Even the close ones but I know I do. The last 6 months I have not been able to drink minimally when I do.
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What if I never drink more then 3 beers? I become sleepy...ok I can drink more after the previous effect fades out, after several hours...
I try to stay away from making a decision about alcoholism based on how much alcohol someone drinks. It's more about whether or not it causes problem in your life. Here are the official criteria for alcoholism in case your curious. th-cam.com/video/9JKbdXFXtVE/w-d-xo.html
One of my coworkers insists on taking her lunch at 3:30 pm (8-5 job) and comes back with alcohol on her breath. She is ADAMANT about taking lunch at 3:30 and becomes VERY upset and frantic when the timing is off. We are sure that she does this so she can "start" early, before 5pm, but still have her "buzz" by the time 5pm comes along. I want to add that I am not here because I am concerned for this coworker. She is a horrible bully and a probable narcissist. I'm looking for more clues to her alcoholism. We need to be rid of this monster.
@@PutTheShovelDown Very interesting. Also, quite sad. I do genuinely feel compassion for her in whatever struggle she seems to have with alcoholism/addiction. I have family members who have struggled with addiction and it is a devastating condition. However, this coworker has relentlessly bullied myself and others (public humiliation, degrading insults, berating and high-volume "instructional" rants--it has been horrible and other coworkers have gotten physically ill before coming into work because of this one person's behavior 😢). There is an official investigation now, even. It's a total mess. Anyway, I do feel compassion for her struggle with addiction, but my office and the rest of my coworkers have had enough.
I’m a workaholic first, alcoholic second. If I can drink while working that’s a good time. Even before I started drinking sober me was always miserable so it’s a good mood booster.
I know someone who has a great job and does the job well during the day, but drinks pretty much every night and usually can't stop and continues until she's slurring her speech or passes out. Then somehow she's up at 7am as if nothing happened. She often talks about her alcoholic relatives, but never thinks of herself as an alcoholic.
My father is 68 years old. In general, he didn't like to drink much, but now he is very used to it. He has been drinking alcohol (vodka) for two months now. His face is swollen, he has no strength, and he lies down all the time. What do you recommend? Are transfusions recommended at this time?
When asked, always say at least less than half amount that I actually drink. Take cash not card but sneaking out more money than people/ family know of.
My husband has been functional alcoholic for years since he had gastric sleeve. He does not drink during the work day. It’s every symptom. I have PTSD over his insanity when he over drinks. Every time I smell it on him, I immediately feel sick to stomach. What is your family support site?
Hi Dachshund, here's a link to a video about the trauma of living with someone who has addiction: th-cam.com/video/_IIIebnumpg/w-d-xo.html and here's the link to our FB family support group: facebook.com/groups/familyrecoverysupport
It's not what you drink or how much you drink, it's what it does to you. Only you can say if you need to stop drinking or not. All I know is that my life is better without. If you can't see yourself living without it, you probably have a problem.
I drink 200ml of scotch and 2 large bottles of beer (650ml) once a week when I go to the tavern... I have alcohol in my house but I never touch it alone... I never do stupid things when I drink, is it fine or not? Some people tell me I drink too much for one sit but I do this for years..
A family member of mine been drinking and smoking for 52 years and still going. Now at 65 years old he has signs of liver and kidney disease. Along with alcoholic dementia. Gets drunk when more alcohol in his system than eating. Then he don't remember what he said the the previous nights and says he never said any such things.
As a long dry alchoholic its so tragic that those in denial still have to continue on to the catastrophic breakdown that has to happen before any chance of a rebuild can begin.....
The sneaky drinking: my partner does this. Hides whine in plastic bottles, in het car, in the trash and flat out lies about it. Try to cover up her breath with other foods or brushing her teeth. None of them work. I find the lying part the worst. Or when she gets mad at me when i confront her..she then blames me for giving her stress and a reason to drink. I do really love her when she is sober shes a great person. But to many lies and empty promises are made. The trust is beyond repairable im afraid.
Nah, I'm just a uni student figuring out if my dad is an alcoholic. Everytime I come home from school, he is drunk or has a Coors in his hand. I want to tell him he has a problem but I have not seen him sober for a long period of time. So I've kinda got used to it. idk, I kind of given up hope on him getting sober. (Not like he ever wanted to commit to sobriety)
I've been sober for about a month. Its hard. But I'm making it. I've was drinking for 4 years, everyday, until a month ago. If you look at my youtube channel, it kinda shows. I do feel better. Alot better. But Halloween is coming up, and God knows its gonna be hard not to throw a party and drink my way right back into a hole. I don't wanna die from alcoholism. But when I do die, I want to be drunk. 🥴
Hi Echristle, From reading your comment about halloween being hard an "wanting to die drunk", it tells me that you still feel like you're missing out something. This is why it feels so hard, because in your mind you feel deprived.
@@PutTheShovelDown your completely right. I do feel like I'm missing out. Whoa. I never thought about it like that. What are some steps I should take to feel more.. i guess fulfilled?
I have a problem I drink almost half a litre of spirits most every night and want to stop but like you said its hard when alot of regular activities seem less fun without alcohol
Hi Stalwart, Things will eventually become fun again, after you reset your brain chemistry. You may need to look into detox options. Here's a video about that: th-cam.com/video/hTBrDNwL54o/w-d-xo.html
@@PutTheShovelDown Yep. In my experience, the "less fun" got to the point where I'd have to drink before I could even get excited enough to go out. Ultimately, it was no fun to go out without drinking and it wasn't much fun to go out even WITH drinking. And lord knows what kind of trouble "with Drinking" could generate.
May this video link In the description box of a video for people to use for further education q on my channel next month. You cover this in much more detail on this subject than I am going to.
What can I do while still working? I know I’m an alcoholic. I tried therapy and was honest about it but not getting the help I need. Then, I bought books, watched videos. I can’t afford rehab but I was thinking about it. I just don’t know if it would help anyway. Is there a method for us? Legit afraid because I grew up super healthy and I know my body can’t handle this. I look totally different but am still functioning. Asking for friends. ❤
I'm pretty sure a relative is one because I've lived with them my whole live, but im suspecting another person in my social circle is a functional alcoholic or is pretty dependent on it
My x husband is a functional alcohol he didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere unless he could drink at that event. Also, he couldn’t leave the house after he slammed down 12 beers after work., even if our daughter was hurt and need to go to the hospital. Also he likes to hang out with a young crowd because people his age don’t drink like he does because most 50 yr olds have grown up and have important matters to attend to
Based on research we are doing it seems those with functional alcoholism (5%) those with DTs on withdrawal and those who need a constant infusion of alcholol every day might be a different class?
3:40 Spot on..Thank ypu..This is me..Im 51 dome 31 days dry jan..Then relapsed , im a weekend drinking mainly 'sociable' drink on holidays and vacations too..Hold dpwn a half decent jpb have a mprtgage and a car etc..Plus a nice girlfroend..But everythings literslly hanging by a thread....Can go all weelk or weeks withoit drimking amd cam also go put sometimes and just have a couple pf drinks etc but sooner or laterits back to the binge...Too much slchchol plus other drugs then i feel awful afterwards to pping where cant eat or even get put of bed etc...Had enough now im on day 3 again..
Im barely functional, i tried to not drink. I felt great, for 8 days, then that last day of work was grueling...i completely fell off and under the wagon, i feel so disappointed in myself. I just keep reliving the guilt, its a cycle i can't seem to break
It's okay, Aaron. You can get right back on track. Here's a link to a video about getting back on track after a relapse: th-cam.com/video/q98F9K0pDng/w-d-xo.html
im a 15 year old boy and this is what ny day looks like. i wake up, dont think about or remember last night and i already cant remember anything, then i get up mostly sober, (which is now, i just woke up after a night of drinking sobforgive my grammar 🙏) then i hop on red dead and then i think to myself, "im having fun, but i feel like i dont have a personality rn i wanna get loud and have fuunn. just ONE beer." then i have a beer. then another. and another. i get to the point of double and spinning vision every night. and EVERY night literally, i start off playing red dead, then i put on my fav bluegrass and the steeldrivers and i dance around and get loud, and i watch o brother where art thou. fun nights, but its the alcohol every single day. thank you for pointing these out, i have all of them. i dont wanna fall fully into a bottle
@@_buhbuhbilly That's what I was like Billy you seem like a cool guy. Don't let it get to much. This is my third weekend off booze in 15years never felt better. I found myself playing call of duty mobile constantly. All the best.
I got so fed up with people coming up and telling me what i was doing when drunk i became a house drinker so i wasnt annoying anyone else .. in my alcoholic mind there was always a solution that never interfered with my drinking habits
I'm not. I'm trying to figure out if a friend is one. Every time I speak this friend, this friend says their drinking to ease himself or jokely say he got drunk a day before. I'm wondering if this is the case 🤔
I consider the functioning alcoholic to be the "elite special forces" of alcoholics. All jokes aside I checked most of those boxes. Coming up on 60 days sober.
I’d love to have a conversation with you… undiagnosed ADHD until 2 years ago… now finding out that I may also have Autism. Accused of alcoholism in family court. And I wonder, at what point does PDA and justice sensitivity hit this barrier? Because I don’t drink a lot… haven’t blacked out, done anything embarrassing, done any of the other pre-requisites to define it. But I’m at a loss… because no matter what… I have proved it to an evaluator time and time again. And I just… I don’t get it!
I’m trying to figure out if I have an addiction. I usually drink when I go out, tho It really depends on the kind of event that i’ll be attending. If it’s something casual maybe a beer or 2 (or wine or nothing at all). But, if I go out partying (once every other week- sometimes it’s even more time that goes by without me drinking) it will definitely be more than that, though I’ve been telling myself and others that I do know my limits and I usually do. There have been some (rare) incidents where I get home really drunk and end up throwing up or making a scene. Otherwise, I would be pretty functional. I would even take care of others, drink water, have interesting conversations with people, I can call an uber, take care of myself. The problem is that my mom hates whenever I drink and she’s been telling me to stop, which makes us fight. But, other than that I don’t really have any other problems
My AW was a functional alcoholic for years. She evolved from. weekend cocktails or wine to daily drinks after work to relieve e stress. With menopause she began drinking more to counter insomnia. The kicker for my was No. 5, hiding it. She typically kept a bottle or full tumbler behind the couch and slept in the LR more frequently because she couldn't sleep. She's been unemployed for a year and is no longer "functional". She can go 2 weeks or more without a drink, but will go on binges for 4,5,6 days until she gets sick. Then it's another cycle of 2-3 weeks of sobriety.
Is there anyway to stop this?? Im an addict in recovery- since june 30th 2014. But it wasnt alcohol..i never thought alcohol was that serious. I csn see it now.
I'm really wondering if I could just ride this closer to the edge of the cliff before turning around, bc I wanna stop as late as possible. I don't want to dupe myself into changing when I didn't have to. But I don't know if I'm off the cliff already or how far I am and I don't trust my judgement. Shits confusing.
I wish I knew the original video that brought me here. It was a teacher that got caught drinking wine at her school. I didn't think much of it but I did think "woah, glad I'm not a teacher" and a "dang light weight, how did you get caught?" Somewhere in the midst of that 40 minute video, there was a cop in the room that gave her a breathalyzer and it came back maybe a .234 or something. The principal asked the cops opinion and he said something about he thought she was a "functioning alcoholic." Well down the rabbit hole I go. As I just finished a pint of titos. Or almost, just literally poured the rest out. As I have several times now in this situation at least... this is the first time the dots connected on this though. I am 110% a functioning alcoholic. I'm 30. I have been for 10 years now. I want my joy back. I do love playing with my kids sober or while drinking. But you're right. Life is just so much more enjoyable while drinking. I've forgotten what it was life to even have fun without drinking. I wanna know but I'm scared. Scared it won't work and I'll fall back. Longest in 10+ years that I've gone was 7 whole days, just to see if beer tasted different after that. Scared to go 60 without another one if I make it because all of my good memories are with a cold one in my hand. Tell me there's more, right? I don't want to just feel bland every day life but I want to stop. Chasing that 4 beer buzz all day is euphoric, it makes everything that is boring better.
Take a look at this video. I think it might help. It’s called: What’s it really like to get sober? th-cam.com/users/liveP_WPdEA72FI?si=OQ-PWExIPGEGDwIC
@PutTheShovelDown just wanted to come back and revist, 9 days sober and hanging in there day by day! My longest sober streak in 10+ years was 7 days so to charge past feels amazing 🥲
📌To Learn More about Alcohol Use Disorder, Watch This Next:👉 th-cam.com/play/PLaaJWwIpP_zY7AwWDa8vw_T92MCiRZkrb.html
Cool vid. I also enjoyed the book "30 Days to Sobriety" by Harper Daniels.
@@theotherway1639 is your husband drinking
I’m going to treatment , but only have time for detox and would like help to find a very effective outpatient program in my area. I have spoken to great personalities over the phone. However, I went for the first time during the beginning of the pandemic.
I was watching this video until she told me that watching it means I'm a functioning alcoholic. Then I switched over to the Bourbon Brothers.
Not everyone who watches this has a drinking problem! Have you thought that friends and relatives of a problem drinker might be watching this to learn!!!???? I found that part not only insulting and punitive, but detrimental to your video/channel. After that statement, my strong response was to shut the video down. However, I truly was hoping that I could learn something from it and didn’t hit stop. You might want to re address this issue. I actually saw a comment by someone in my position who did turn it off immediately.
1. Hard time relaxing, enjoying yourself without alcohol 2. Can't remember what you did the night before. 3. Trying to manage consumption/questioning if you drink too much 4. The people closest to you are hinting/commenting/voicing concern over your consumption 5. You avoid conversation about your drinking / sneak drinking
I’m good 😅
Mine says he's functioning, lmao . I bet him
I am a functioning alcoholic. I’m Australian and doing very well in my job (electrician), but I was progressively drinking more and more. The past two weeks I have drank every single night (the most I’ve ever drank). Tonight, I searched this before my problem got out of hand. Thank you for the insights, I certainly have a few of these.
You're being very honest with yourself, which is a very good sign!
Yes, i have never been big on alcohol before, untill, about a year ago! Now, i drink every day ( about 10cl whisky). Which don't seem a lot.
But, if i don't have a drink now by the afternoon, i am starting to get kinda edgy.
This stuff can get u hooked before u even thought "Hold on, do i have a problem". 😉
Good luck Jack, I can empathise, from another Australian. What do you enjoy apart from drinking? I wish you the best.
@@rumplestilskinsmum5094 That is not much but it can climb up. Just don't.
@@antoinettenovella1630 thanks, i know .
As mentioned only drink 10cl = 100ml= 3 shots. And that is actually still a lot. 🙂
I am a small lady as well. A bit worried about being a habitual alcoholic. 😏
Today am exactly 21 days since I finally decided to stop drinking. I used to drink at least 1 beer everyday, and at least 2-3 days of heavy drinking (6 plus beers) a week.
And from this video, I was perfectly a functioning alcoholic. Sometimes am going through really strong urges to take a beer but I have conquered 21 consecutive days. I hope 1 will make it to 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, a year, and a lifetime of sobriety.
For people with an alcohol problem, feel encouraged to stop. It all starts with you. You can do it💪
I'm very impressed with you're insight and your determination!
Lmao. Amateur
How are ypu doing now ?
How are you doing
I drank alcoholically for decades yet I can't remember when I could count the number of beers I consumed in single digits. You are not an alcoholic. If you don't want to drink with the same frequency as you have been or you believe drinking is a growing problem for you, then stop or moderate. But alcoholism is a physiological dependency on alcohol; that is, if you stop suddenly you are going to go into withdrawal and possibly experience DT's, seizures and death. By the end of my run, I was consuming over 40 oz. of vodka a day, using cocaine, opiates and tranquilizers. It took 2 years of abstinence from alcohol and 5 years on methadone before I felt like I'd gotten free.
13 months sober here and I identify with many of these signs. I was a functional drinker for years and in the last year before I quit I suddenly went downhill...dragged myself to the gym where before I was doing 5 sessions I would only do 2 sessions a week. I'd work from home on Mondays and sleep through meetings with my camera off still recovering from the weekend. My relationship with my wife (who also was an alcoholic) had descended into nothing but bickering. I had been functional for so long I thought I had it under control and then BOOM it starts to slide. Be careful out there people.
Yes...I did have an alcohol problem; he passed away in April because he was at the end stage and still thought he was smart enough to beat it.
That's sad and frustrating at the same time 😥
Alcohol wasn't hid problem. You were. Just accept that you love alcoholics
My little sister was a functioning alcoholic with a great job. Sober all day until she got home and popped a wine bottle. I went to al-anon and they were useless other than to confirm what I already knew. They won't change unless they hit rock bottom. Well, she hit rock bottom, she died of liver desease waiting for a transplant.
Shit! My condolences.
How much wine was she drinking daily? And how many years till she got issues? Sorry for your loss
Im so sorry
I’m so sorry about your sister, that is so sad. Al-Anon is not for everyone but when you say it is useless, I think perhaps you were thinking they were going to ‘fix’ your sister, and that is not what their program is about. It is about supporting families and friends of alcoholics to cope and to look at their own behaviours and in changing them will hopefully lead to the alcoholic getting sober. Al-Anon was wonderful for me. It changed my way of looking at the issue with my husband’s drinking which I was obsessed with and it was making me sick and a poor mother, and supported me to focus on myself and my behaviours instead. It gave me the strength, courage and peace of mind to decide to leave him. That was 35 years ago. He continues to drink and is in very poor health. He has had many opportunities over the years to have support to stop drinking but has chosen not to. I do not regret parting ways with him at all. I am now trying to deal with my 37 year old sons ADHD and substance abuse. Much harder to deal with when it’s your child, can’t divorce them and distance yourself like you can with a husband. I think I need to go back to Al-Anon.
I'm so so sorry that you lost your sister. I lost my cousin this way. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing this stark reality.
9 days alcohol free, 15 from cannabis. I had a moderate alcohol use disorder that I didn’t believe was a use disorder. Working through mild and sometimes moderate withdrawal symptoms. One of my brothers is alcoholic, another who cannot have fun or be himself without alcohol and is also a sex addict that caused major marital problems over and over again. My real crux is cannabis but I enjoyed it a lot with alcohol. These symptoms you talk about I resonate with. Never thought I had a problem until I started researching sobriety topics.
Just a bit ahead of you on alcohol... Day 20 today
@@omadas Well done, we got this
I realized recently I’m a functioning Alcoholic..., 3 to 4 nights a week a few cocktails after work & I hate feeling like sh*t the next morning and I’m ready to quit for good..., 9 days no alcohol. I’m feeling amazing 🥰
That's so great, Jenaye! Thank you for taking the time to share part of your story with us. I hope to hear more from you in the future!
I hope you are 4 months sober. It is a great life....a lot of eye opening work but try getting a good sponsor and work the 12 steps if possible
when I was a functional alcoholic, I tripled check things constantly...promised lots of cool things to my kids and didn't remember the next morning, functions that I attended were nothing but a blur, folks telling you how funny you were and interesting dance moves that you didn't know you did, waking up finding out you drove the wrong car home and trying to find out where your car is and how to return the one you took. I am so glad I don't drink anymore, life is much more coherent and clear.
Respectfully, that’s NOT functional…
Wow. I have all this. I live alone and get drunk almost every night. I drink at work, got a DUI, made many horrible decisions, and just recently started having thoughts of suicide. I need to get it together..
Hi Steven, it sounds like you're ready for a change. This is Andrew's recovery story. I thought it might help: th-cam.com/video/w1nU2Vq073Q/w-d-xo.html
I was there. Find AA group fast. If you put your work in it I promise it'll get better. Stay away from people that pressure you to drink. I have no friends but I'm sober.
You can get help. Alcoholism is a disease. You're not responsible for your illness but you are responsible for finding help.
AA is a great program. You work on your emotions and get to know why you needed to cover them up in the first place.
I wish everyone could recover and find the freedom and happiness that I have found in being abstinent. 🙂
I'm the same way 😢
Hey buddy. Hope your doing better man.
As a recovering "mostly" functional alcoholic (19 yrs sober) your observations are dead on. Sometimes knowing what I did the night before was worse than not knowing. Another way to tell if someone has a drinking problem is that there stories seldom end with "and then I got home".
I love it. I'm definitely adding that one to the list of symptoms! 😂🤩🤣
Thank you Amber for your insights and knowledge!You have been helpful in separating the issues to understand alcoholism from the addicts perspective and for the loved ones involved. After nearly three and a half years together, I asked my functioning alcoholic to leave. It was extremely difficult but I no longer wanted to have a “front row seat” to his addiction. In retrospect, we were both in a codependent relationship, which in the long run was never going last. I tried to love him through the addiction but understand so clearly now you can’t help anyone who is in denial. He has all the signs of a functioning alcoholic but also uses drugs sometimes, had health issue’s physically and mentally. He has narcissistic tendencies, anger issues, an antagonist, a manipulator and a liar. He said he wants to try and stay friends and I said no because you have never apologised for using me and disrespecting me and sometimes being aggressive. I said I actually don’t like you! I did love him once ( and he said he loved me) but it has now been replaced with contempt, resentment and anger towards him. His family and myself have tried to encourage professional help many many times. But we get told to stop telling him what to do and he won’t talk about it. I was becoming depressed and seriously unhappy so I told him I’m done and you need to leave. He picks up his final stuff today 🙏🏻 I can only change my reaction and my choices - I know that now. I finally have peace and serenity in my home. Time to heal and rebuild my life. Thank you Amber for your straight talking advice x
Hi Lorrene, I can tell that you really thought this through, and it's the right decision for you.
Life update for those who may need to make the same choice ? This is the first research I’ve done. I’m afraid I’ll end up where you got to. Are you happy you left ?
Lorrenecoe would love no how you are doing your story touch my heart ,hoping you still strong n happy
I am blown away at how spot-on your observations are! The part about the way someone might hide drinking at home or slide it around at a restaurant were unbelievably accurate. I am doing all of that. And I hate it. And I wake up hating myself every day. I desperately want to change. But it is so hard.
I asked my husband to please ease up on his drinking while our daughter was staying with us for a few weeks. It made him so mad he has not spoken to me in three days, and he did not ease up on his drinking. He is a functioning alcoholic
Run like your hair is on fire, it will lead to nothing good. Why would you stay in that environment, terrible for your daughter.
I completely understand every time I asked my husband to slow down he doesn’t. Every time I try to talk to about it he refuses to have a conversation about it.
@charmee4045 is easy to say. Many reasons why people can't leave their homes. My daughter is an adult, but yes, terrible for our entire family. Wasn't always like that. I will say that It has gotten some a tiny bit, but better. Also, it seems easy for people to say run, leave, go. Go where? I'm 63 years old.
I am dealing with the same thing atm
I can’t leave. Where am I gonna go? There is a recession on the horizon. Ya I could go to work and do the whole independent thing, again. I just got married less than 2yrs ago.
All the videos say that I have to go be the role model, I just shut down. For what, to be trampled on more? lol, I can’t do this anymore tho. It’s a torment, a quiet tournament.
Praying the spirit of rejection leave our home.
I have all of these and it opened my eyes thank you
I'm really glad I could be of help, Suby Life!
Thank you so much! My husband has all of these. Since he told everyone he was going to rehab, it feels like no one understands. Like they really don't think it was necessary. It made me think twice.
Often times the spouse is the only one to know when it's functional alcoholism. It is frustrating when other people say it's not a problem. Trust me, no one takes themselves to rehab by accident!
I am a licensed as a substance abuse counselor. I see you as a colleague I can listen to to sharpen my skills with people. Thank you. I can relate
Wow! I take that as a huge compliment. Thank you so much 😍😍😍
I was a functioning alcoholic for a while, then shit hit the fan and I drunk texted my professor. Needless to say, I start AA this week 😅.
I like your humor Abby! You'll do well in recovery
Put The Shovel Down ❤️❤️❤️
Since I’ve watched a few of your videos others are showing up in my feed. This one perfectly describes my friend, as she has all five of the signs. Before ever seeing this I mentioned “functional alcoholism” to her, but she dismissed it and said she didn’t have a problem. Again it’s me being never happy with her and my “insecurities”.
Had I done this research sooner, I probably could have navigated it better with her. I saw each symptom and addressed specific incidents, but it’s the larger addiction issue that needs attention.
Again, I can’t help her anymore but your videos help me realize I wasn’t the bad guy. Thanks.
I'm so glad these videos are helpful to you, E!
Very eye opening. Point 2 and 4 made me feel like I was being personally called out
At least you’re being honest with yourself! 😁👍🏼
Just a bit here as well!!
The hardest part of being a functional alcoholic and being completely aware that you are is it makes it very very hard to stop because right now it is working for you! However in the back of your mind you know one misstep and you just ruined your completely functioning life!
I went on a date with someone who I suspected was a functioning alcoholic. He said that during the week he doesn’t drink that much but that he loooves tequila during on vacation. He also said he had troubling sleeping so he started taking marijuana gummy bears so he could sleep... well that was a red flag 🚩. His conversation also seemed slow and since I don’t drink he was literally obsessed with offering me cocktails. It was as he could not believe that I wasn’t big on drinking... and at one point he was also short tempered. All in all he was handsome and smart but I could NOT get past the alcohol problem since I don’t drink much. I could see that down the line the life of this guy was going to be bad. So sad 😭
It’s a good thing you found out early!
I wish I recognized those red flags with my husband ( Recent ex husband) I didn't see it because I was a social drinker. The webs we weave
The slow talking is definitely a sign
Thats no reason not to sleep with him
you sound boring, so maybe he drank to deal with your petty bullshit.
I m from a family loaded with alcoholics and drug addicts. Fortunately I could never tolerate it bc it made me vomit. I’m so glad. I have seen alcohol ruin so many lives.
Once in denial I genuinely told the therapist "I'm not an alcoholic. I work 50 hours a week, I never miss work, I'm saving up money and doing well financially."
alyssa classic! I hear that all the time!!!💯
My ex bf
That's my mum. She works, she does a lot for me, especially being autistic but it's become too much seeing her drink. Sometimes she knows she is and needs help and then she'll forget that and just starts saying she's better on the drink because it's helped her through the bad times. She also says because I only drink wine she isn't an alcoholic yet she drinks alcohol pretty much every day. My aunt was the opposite with drink, she was really bad with it, like really scary to see and my younger sister even agrees seeing our aunt like that was bad enough. I want my mum to be able to see there are better ways of dealing with past trauma. I absolutely understand her when she says therapy doesn't help, I went through a time when therapy didn't help me and it's easy to assume just because it didn't help once, it will never help again. I quickly learned the best thing you can do is be honest with others and yourself, because the more honest you are the more you go right I know this really is an issue. Sorry for wittering on, it's hard to explain things sometimes
My husband
I told one that I've never had blackouts, which is true. I never woke up the next day and discovered I did something I didn't remember doing. But 6 years removed from it, I realize I only vaguely remember a 4 year blur. I've always been scary accurate about remembering dates and periods of time when things happened, friends would always be shocked by my ability. But there's 4 years now where it's like "yeah that happened at some point during those 4 years, no idea when."
Always looking for help on how to start a conversation with a person that has the issue without hurting their feelings and putting them down, I'm not the one with the issue.
As you suggested I'm going to go look at your other videos.
Thank you so much.
My ex told me "I just enjoy the actual taste of the beer, I can stop whenever" as soon as I heard that I knew I was in for a difficult time and he actually had a serious problem.
That is so common. I hear that in my office all the time!
Wow I’ve heard that before.
This is accurate. I am so blessed to have found AA and am long on the road of recovery before things fell apart
Thanks John!
I feel like I'm most definitely going into that FA territory. Been using at least 5 or 6 times a week for the past 2 months but I NEVER go into blackout mode. I work at a store and have bad social anxiety and sad to say, a few shots in the morning helps me be a little social with customers/coworkers but it's still in the back of my mind that I'm going down a bad road. It also takes the edge off my stressful home life, wish I could get myself out it this ugly cycle.
It's good that you're recognizing the cycle!
I just called off my wedding. He got a DUI. He made more promises to stop drinking. I know how ashamed he is, and it just hurts. I don’t understand how it got this bad
Did you try cucking him?
This describes my partner.
1. I recently told him I organised a catch up with another local couple at the park for a play date for our young kids (also so we can meet people in our new town). He asked “am I allowed to drink?”.. it was both frustrating and sad. Never wants to do any activities that don’t involve drinking.
2. Not sure if he doesn’t remember or he’s gaslighting me, but denies things happened the next day.
3. Told me when we moved in January that he’d cut back to weekends only. He’s still drinking 4-5 nights a week, ranging anywhere from 6 beers to 15 beers per session.
4. To everyone else he’s a hard worker and family man. I see the man that comes home from work, sits outside, drinks, basically ignores his family and then picks fights with me when he’s drunk. But at the same time I’m tired of trying to get him to see it’s a problem so we are basically just room mates now.
5. Trying to talk to him about his drinking when he’s sober only results in him getting defensive and argumentative.
I binge drink once or twice a week, can't stop when I start it so it's now time to stay away from it completely. I've grown up with a family of alcoholics and it's got to the point where I actually feel the next day after drinking I feel suicidal - this is scary, that's why I'm 100% this time around ready to stop for me and my partner. I'm sick of hiding the extra bottle of wine I buy when I pretend I just bought one! It's not pretty anymore. Here's to being sober 🙏
How are you holding up?
@@bryansimms7005 ye actually alright how you doing bud? I've started to moderate my intake once a week on a Saturday night, big step for me and we'll worth it...
I've been a functioning alcoholic for 32 years. Never lost a job, never got a DUI, was able to keep it from most everyone, etc. I'm now at 55 ready to throw things away. I can't deal with this anymore and need to bow out. I've done a month in rehab 12 years ago, I've done AA, I lost a step father to suicide who was an alcoholic, I had two cousins who died of alcoholism and this demon seems to run though both sides of my family. My insurance does not cover any kind of addiction recovery and the cost is so prohibitive. I'm a data nerd and keep a spreadsheet of my consumption. Since my last "dry spot" that ended November 9, 2020, I've consumed 18.75 gallons of gin. My intestines are wrecked and I have no happiness. I'm ready to put and end to it.
You can use your data nerd skills to beat alcoholism. I always say.... You beat this illness with strategy!
do you have a column for how much you've spent ?
I have 7-8 lapses my first year in recovery. Remember that you are not alone, find G-d so that he may heal you.
I'm not a fun alcoholic anymore I noticed I get angry now when I drink it use to be my happy drink but now all these thoughts I have buried start to surface then I get upset :(
Hi Janet! That's very insightful. Ultimately alcohol will make you relive all the bad things that have happened to you over and over. It will keep you stuck. Here's a video about taking small steps toward change. Hope it helps: th-cam.com/video/1lLmRjg0cdc/w-d-xo.html
“Most people don’t look up if they have an alcohol problem” Damn ur calling me out with that 😂
The way I silent screamt 😭😂
As you imply, a functional alcoholic is an oxymoron, at least in my case. I am an alcoholic in recovery. I haven't had a drink in 2 years, and the longer I'm sober and in AA, the more I realize how dysfunctional I was in my drinking, despite my delusions. Also, at least in my case, alcoholism is a progressive disease. It never gets better until/ unless you stop completely. Thank you for posting this, and I hope that everyone who has this problem finds a/the solution. There _is_ a solution!
You and I are in lock step!
Beautiful quote:- YOU ONLY FAIL ONCE YOU STOP TRYING ❤❤
You hit all of our main problems. You can dig much deeper though and provide in depth symptoms and differentiate between the stages of alcoholism.
The further that I get down this road, I understand that quitting is quitting. False promises only tear you down further!
Nobody close to me thought I had a problem because I was so good at sneak drinking. 😬 It was a morning after sneak-drinking probably 3 extra glasses of wine one night that I was like "Okay. This isn't good. This is going to take you down a path you don't want to go down. It's time to face yourself" This was after two weeks of trying to set limits for myself of how many glasses per night and per week I could have, and simply failing at it. So I decided to cut alcohol off completely, and right now I'm 114 days sober. My family drinks and my parents (who love their wine) still don't really get why I quit drinking, partly because it feels so personal to me that I haven't talked to them much about it beyond "Hey, no need to offer me wine at dinners anymore, I'm just not drinking anymore right now. No, I'm not pregnant." That and letting them know when I was 100 days sober because I felt proud of myself, thinking I could never do it. I suppose I SHOULD talk more about it with them though because just the other day, after THIS long of not drinking around them, my mom started talking about how this summer we should all go to this beautiful winery together hahah. Mom! I don't think that would be super fun for me anymore haha. 😆
You've got great insight, Sara!
you could say "you know , alcohol will kill ya "
Sara I don't know how you went in your journey but as a complete stranger I want to say to you, the choice you made was so amazing. Sometimes in a family 1 person has to stand up and say "This may be everybody elses truth. It will not be mine. It stops with me." And that takes an unbelieveable amount of guts. Well done you. I see you. 🙏
@@helenharch447 thank you for such a kind response 💕 Lots of love and well wishes to you! ❤️
My husband drinks every night in life. He leaves out 4 tins of beer when the family know he has had a bottle of wine aswell. Refuses to address the problem and he says it's his right to drink because he works hard everyday. He is destroying his family and he does not care
Hi Ginger, Have you seen this one? It's about getting them to see the problem: th-cam.com/video/-3j6HAhOd1w/w-d-xo.html
It isn’t that he doesn’t care, the alcohol is making him blind to the fact that he is destroying the fsmiliy
Alcohol causes brain changes, learned abhorrent behavior of all sorts, blackouts, broken families, infidelity, joyless lives, DUIs, lawyers, lost jobs, lost wages, it basically ruins lives and can cost $2000/month. Naltrexone does none of those things. In fact, it helps the brain reverse all of those things. Naltrexone, you may start out taking 1 pill a day, but you end up taking 1 pill a month or less. Some take no naltrexone after 4-12 months ! TEDx talk th-cam.com/video/6EghiY_s2ts/w-d-xo.html
Documentary www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07NBWMH9D
You can care enough to take your kids and leave.
@@ripps999p dead easy isn't it
oh yes...if I was to call myself an alcoholic-I was a functional one...never missed work, never got an DUI, got along with everyone, etc....it was the controlled drinking from the home, by myself, at a certain time didn't leave the house once I started.....my bottles were getting bigger and my trips to the liquor store was every other day..The bottles was running my life and I was dancing to it. People usually do not treat the underlying reasons of alcoholism-just the symtoms--need to get to the core of why we went there...Proud Sober of 14 yrs now-
Great insight, Kellie!
I've been playing this on a outdoor speaker for my alcoholic female neighbour, it's stopped her from abusing us when she is drunk!! Thank you so much!🙌❤
Oh my goodness! Do you mean you're playing it loudly so she hears it? Or she asked you to play it for her?
@PutTheShovelDown She needs the hard truth... you differently gave it!!❤🙌
Lol love it
I am sooooo loving that you put this in a video topic!!! Once again, thank you so much!!☺️👏🏻💗
I'm so glad!
I'm a functional alcoholic.. I even get raises and promoted frequently for how good I do at my job. I drink even on the job! I bring it in coke bottles and no one ever addresses it because I portray myself as a goody here. This video really was spot on in every point it made.
Hi Angelavery7602! I see a lot of business people who have very similar stories. The sad part is, that the company will bail when the alcohol problems start to create a lot of unmanageability.
Airplane bottles for me, there so easy to hide
I'm a functional alcoholic on the brink of chaos, I would trade the addiction in for the pain to go away😢beer at least is not heroin 😢
Your videos are very informative. Thank you for posting them..I have made some choices in my life and stopped drinking and seeked help because of your videos. Much appreciated
Thank you for that, Callan! You've made my day 😊😊😊😊🥰
@@PutTheShovelDown glad it did. Done 15 days sober today 😊
I'm not an alcoholic but I'm struggling with other addictions. Thank you for this.
Happy to help, Miss Grinch 😊
In March I decided to quit on 1st November...so far I believe I will never taste the mocker. Thanks for the video because you were talking to me and maybe many others out there in the battle
Dear Amber , You presented it perfectly ;-) most appreciated.
My pleasure, Roy! Glad it was helpful 😊
This fits me I know what I am just dont know how to or if I really truly want to stop I've tried tons of things but no luck
Hi Albino, It's totally normal to have some ambivalence and stopping drinking. You don't have to be 100% sure. (51% will work!!!! ) Then create accountability for yourself, so that if you drop below 51% there is some thing will keep you sober even on days when you don't want to!
Totally resonates for me. I have been struggling.. I have had people say. No. You are fine. You don’t have a problem. Even the close ones but I know I do. The last 6 months I have not been able to drink minimally when I do.
What if I never drink more then 3 beers? I become sleepy...ok I can drink more after the previous effect fades out, after several hours...
I try to stay away from making a decision about alcoholism based on how much alcohol someone drinks. It's more about whether or not it causes problem in your life. Here are the official criteria for alcoholism in case your curious. th-cam.com/video/9JKbdXFXtVE/w-d-xo.html
@@PutTheShovelDown But what if you drink a fifth minimum per day although no problems have really come about (at least not yet) because of it?
My sister has just about every one of those symptoms. She has been going downhill for a while now. 😢
One of my coworkers insists on taking her lunch at 3:30 pm (8-5 job) and comes back with alcohol on her breath. She is ADAMANT about taking lunch at 3:30 and becomes VERY upset and frantic when the timing is off. We are sure that she does this so she can "start" early, before 5pm, but still have her "buzz" by the time 5pm comes along.
I want to add that I am not here because I am concerned for this coworker. She is a horrible bully and a probable narcissist. I'm looking for more clues to her alcoholism. We need to be rid of this monster.
My guess, is that she can't wait until 5. She needs to drink before then but is trying not to start too early. (obviously, this is just a guess)
@@PutTheShovelDown Very interesting. Also, quite sad. I do genuinely feel compassion for her in whatever struggle she seems to have with alcoholism/addiction. I have family members who have struggled with addiction and it is a devastating condition. However, this coworker has relentlessly bullied myself and others (public humiliation, degrading insults, berating and high-volume "instructional" rants--it has been horrible and other coworkers have gotten physically ill before coming into work because of this one person's behavior 😢). There is an official investigation now, even. It's a total mess. Anyway, I do feel compassion for her struggle with addiction, but my office and the rest of my coworkers have had enough.
I’m a workaholic first, alcoholic second. If I can drink while working that’s a good time. Even before I started drinking sober me was always miserable so it’s a good mood booster.
Good video; I had all of those symptoms before I quit 8 1/2 years ago.
Strait to the point!! She also is so pleasant and sweet which is great to listen to. And for some can be very helpful !Thank you 😊 💕👌🏼
"So, if you're watching this video trying to figure out if you're having an alcohol problem"
This hits hard.... 😢
I know someone who has a great job and does the job well during the day, but drinks pretty much every night and usually can't stop and continues until she's slurring her speech or passes out. Then somehow she's up at 7am as if nothing happened. She often talks about her alcoholic relatives, but never thinks of herself as an alcoholic.
You're getting the message across with humour...perfect.
My father is 68 years old. In general, he didn't like to drink much, but now he is very used to it. He has been drinking alcohol (vodka) for two months now. His face is swollen, he has no strength, and he lies down all the time. What do you recommend? Are transfusions recommended at this time?
When asked, always say at least less than half amount that I actually drink. Take cash not card but sneaking out more money than people/ family know of.
It's a ton of work to keep it all up.
I am ashamed of myself.
@@Dan-qu8qs Same here dude, Hang in there, wishing you the best.
@@reece1810 thanks, think we all need support. All the best to you for 2021.
I know this way too well. I just created a video being on the other side of caring for someone who is a alcoholic.
1 year sober after a decade of functional alcoholism 💪
I had all the signs but I wasn’t sure myself until I started experiencing withdrawal symptoms 🙃
Congrats. Very impressive 💪🏻
My husband has been functional alcoholic for years since he had gastric sleeve. He does not drink during the work day. It’s every symptom. I have PTSD over his insanity when he over drinks. Every time I smell it on him, I immediately feel sick to stomach.
What is your family support site?
Hi Dachshund, here's a link to a video about the trauma of living with someone who has addiction: th-cam.com/video/_IIIebnumpg/w-d-xo.html
and here's the link to our FB family support group: facebook.com/groups/familyrecoverysupport
I am going to take the fact that I am here as a wake-up sign
I have a beer or 2 everyday. It's always in the evening. I don't get drunk. Does that make me a alcoholic?
Hey Thomas, drinking 2 beers a day doesn't qualify you as an alcoholic. there are many other criteria.
It's not what you drink or how much you drink, it's what it does to you.
Only you can say if you need to stop drinking or not.
All I know is that my life is better without.
If you can't see yourself living without it, you probably have a problem.
I drink 200ml of scotch and 2 large bottles of beer (650ml) once a week when I go to the tavern... I have alcohol in my house but I never touch it alone... I never do stupid things when I drink, is it fine or not? Some people tell me I drink too much for one sit but I do this for years..
A family member of mine been drinking and smoking for 52 years and still going. Now at 65 years old he has signs of liver and kidney disease. Along with alcoholic dementia. Gets drunk when more alcohol in his system than eating. Then he don't remember what he said the the previous nights and says he never said any such things.
Sounds like he's moved into the Non-functional stage 😥
As a long dry alchoholic its so tragic that those in denial still have to continue on to the catastrophic breakdown that has to happen before any chance of a rebuild can begin.....
The sneaky drinking: my partner does this. Hides whine in plastic bottles, in het car, in the trash and flat out lies about it. Try to cover up her breath with other foods or brushing her teeth. None of them work. I find the lying part the worst. Or when she gets mad at me when i confront her..she then blames me for giving her stress and a reason to drink. I do really love her when she is sober shes a great person. But to many lies and empty promises are made. The trust is beyond repairable im afraid.
My brother is doing this…
I lost one brother 4yrs ago like this…. Same way, but this brother refuses to listen
Nah, I'm just a uni student figuring out if my dad is an alcoholic. Everytime I come home from school, he is drunk or has a Coors in his hand. I want to tell him he has a problem but I have not seen him sober for a long period of time. So I've kinda got used to it. idk, I kind of given up hope on him getting sober. (Not like he ever wanted to commit to sobriety)
everything you have said is me!!! Wow. Thank you so much for this! I've subscribed and so hope to stop drinking!
Hi Dawn, Welcome to our little community. So glad you're here!
I've been sober for about a month. Its hard. But I'm making it. I've was drinking for 4 years, everyday, until a month ago. If you look at my youtube channel, it kinda shows. I do feel better. Alot better. But Halloween is coming up, and God knows its gonna be hard not to throw a party and drink my way right back into a hole. I don't wanna die from alcoholism. But when I do die, I want to be drunk. 🥴
Hi Echristle, From reading your comment about halloween being hard an "wanting to die drunk", it tells me that you still feel like you're missing out something. This is why it feels so hard, because in your mind you feel deprived.
@@PutTheShovelDown your completely right. I do feel like I'm missing out. Whoa. I never thought about it like that. What are some steps I should take to feel more.. i guess fulfilled?
Why do you want to be drunk when you die?
I have a problem I drink almost half a litre of spirits most every night and want to stop but like you said its hard when alot of regular activities seem less fun without alcohol
Hi Stalwart, Things will eventually become fun again, after you reset your brain chemistry. You may need to look into detox options. Here's a video about that: th-cam.com/video/hTBrDNwL54o/w-d-xo.html
@@PutTheShovelDown Yep. In my experience, the "less fun" got to the point where I'd have to drink before I could even get excited enough to go out. Ultimately, it was no fun to go out without drinking and it wasn't much fun to go out even WITH drinking. And lord knows what kind of trouble "with Drinking" could generate.
How much is it to help for weight? Thank you! Stephanie, THANKS!
Im drunk right now thinking what went wrong if I was so happy 😞
Wow that hit me me Hard once i Start i can’t stop and I’m so embarrassed to even look at my phone when I wake up
Even though it's not a fun realization, it's great that you can at least be honest with yourself about it!
May this video link In the description box of a video for people to use for further education q on my channel next month. You cover this in much more detail on this subject than I am going to.
What can I do while still working?
I know I’m an alcoholic. I tried therapy and was honest about it but not getting the help I need. Then, I bought books, watched videos. I can’t afford rehab but I was thinking about it. I just don’t know if it would help anyway.
Is there a method for us?
Legit afraid because I grew up super healthy and I know my body can’t handle this. I look totally different but am still functioning.
Asking for friends. ❤
I'm pretty sure a relative is one because I've lived with them my whole live, but im suspecting another person in my social circle is a functional alcoholic or is pretty dependent on it
My x husband is a functional alcohol he didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere unless he could drink at that event. Also, he couldn’t leave the house after he slammed down 12 beers after work., even if our daughter was hurt and need to go to the hospital. Also he likes to hang out with a young crowd because people his age don’t drink like he does because most 50 yr olds have grown up and have important matters to attend to
I know someone like this, its so sad. I worry for her family.
Based on research we are doing it seems those with functional alcoholism (5%) those with DTs on withdrawal and those who need a constant infusion of alcholol every day might be a different class?
Powerful... well done
Thank you
What symptoms would you add to the list?
A High functioning alcoholic can build a house fix heavy Equipment drive a truck is a police officer or firefighter emt we dont get hangovers
3:40 Spot on..Thank ypu..This is me..Im 51 dome 31 days dry jan..Then relapsed , im a weekend drinking mainly 'sociable' drink on holidays and vacations too..Hold dpwn a half decent jpb have a mprtgage and a car etc..Plus a nice girlfroend..But everythings literslly hanging by a thread....Can go all weelk or weeks withoit drimking amd cam also go put sometimes and just have a couple pf drinks etc but sooner or laterits back to the binge...Too much slchchol plus other drugs then i feel awful afterwards to pping where cant eat or even get put of bed etc...Had enough now im on day 3 again..
Much respect for your honesty and willingness!
Im barely functional, i tried to not drink. I felt great, for 8 days, then that last day of work was grueling...i completely fell off and under the wagon, i feel so disappointed in myself. I just keep reliving the guilt, its a cycle i can't seem to break
It's okay, Aaron. You can get right back on track. Here's a link to a video about getting back on track after a relapse: th-cam.com/video/q98F9K0pDng/w-d-xo.html
im a 15 year old boy and this is what ny day looks like. i wake up, dont think about or remember last night and i already cant remember anything, then i get up mostly sober, (which is now, i just woke up after a night of drinking sobforgive my grammar 🙏) then i hop on red dead and then i think to myself, "im having fun, but i feel like i dont have a personality rn i wanna get loud and have fuunn. just ONE beer." then i have a beer. then another. and another. i get to the point of double and spinning vision every night. and EVERY night literally, i start off playing red dead, then i put on my fav bluegrass and the steeldrivers and i dance around and get loud, and i watch o brother where art thou. fun nights, but its the alcohol every single day. thank you for pointing these out, i have all of them. i dont wanna fall fully into a bottle
@@_buhbuhbilly That's what I was like Billy you seem like a cool guy. Don't let it get to much. This is my third weekend off booze in 15years never felt better. I found myself playing call of duty mobile constantly. All the best.
@Corey.Laundon its no longer alcohol every singke day and ive found fun in my video games while being sober 😭🙏 thank you for the motivation!!
I got so fed up with people coming up and telling me what i was doing when drunk i became a house drinker so i wasnt annoying anyone else .. in my alcoholic mind there was always a solution that never interfered with my drinking habits
I'm not. I'm trying to figure out if a friend is one. Every time I speak this friend, this friend says their drinking to ease himself or jokely say he got drunk a day before. I'm wondering if this is the case 🤔
I consider the functioning alcoholic to be the "elite special forces" of alcoholics. All jokes aside I checked most of those boxes. Coming up on 60 days sober.
🤩🤩🤩Nice work, James!
Sex, alcohol, and rock n roll is the key to life.
I’d love to have a conversation with you… undiagnosed ADHD until 2 years ago… now finding out that I may also have Autism. Accused of alcoholism in family court. And I wonder, at what point does PDA and justice sensitivity hit this barrier? Because I don’t drink a lot… haven’t blacked out, done anything embarrassing, done any of the other pre-requisites to define it. But I’m at a loss… because no matter what… I have proved it to an evaluator time and time again. And I just… I don’t get it!
I’m trying to figure out if I have an addiction. I usually drink when I go out, tho It really depends on the kind of event that i’ll be attending. If it’s something casual maybe a beer or 2 (or wine or nothing at all). But, if I go out partying (once every other week- sometimes it’s even more time that goes by without me drinking) it will definitely be more than that, though I’ve been telling myself and others that I do know my limits and I usually do. There have been some (rare) incidents where I get home really drunk and end up throwing up or making a scene. Otherwise, I would be pretty functional. I would even take care of others, drink water, have interesting conversations with people, I can call an uber, take care of myself. The problem is that my mom hates whenever I drink and she’s been telling me to stop, which makes us fight. But, other than that I don’t really have any other problems
My AW was a functional alcoholic for years. She evolved from. weekend cocktails or wine to daily drinks after work to relieve e stress. With menopause she began drinking more to counter insomnia.
The kicker for my was No. 5, hiding it. She typically kept a bottle or full tumbler behind the couch and slept in the LR more frequently because she couldn't sleep.
She's been unemployed for a year and is no longer "functional". She can go 2 weeks or more without a drink, but will go on binges for 4,5,6 days until she gets sick. Then it's another cycle of 2-3 weeks of sobriety.
Is there anyway to stop this?? Im an addict in recovery- since june 30th 2014. But it wasnt alcohol..i never thought alcohol was that serious. I csn see it now.
I'm really wondering if I could just ride this closer to the edge of the cliff before turning around, bc I wanna stop as late as possible. I don't want to dupe myself into changing when I didn't have to. But I don't know if I'm off the cliff already or how far I am and I don't trust my judgement. Shits confusing.
If your thinking about the cliff then you are there.
I love your accent by the way. Hello from 🇨🇦.
Hey, thanks!
I wish I knew the original video that brought me here. It was a teacher that got caught drinking wine at her school. I didn't think much of it but I did think "woah, glad I'm not a teacher" and a "dang light weight, how did you get caught?"
Somewhere in the midst of that 40 minute video, there was a cop in the room that gave her a breathalyzer and it came back maybe a .234 or something. The principal asked the cops opinion and he said something about he thought she was a "functioning alcoholic." Well down the rabbit hole I go. As I just finished a pint of titos. Or almost, just literally poured the rest out. As I have several times now in this situation at least... this is the first time the dots connected on this though. I am 110% a functioning alcoholic. I'm 30. I have been for 10 years now. I want my joy back. I do love playing with my kids sober or while drinking. But you're right. Life is just so much more enjoyable while drinking. I've forgotten what it was life to even have fun without drinking. I wanna know but I'm scared. Scared it won't work and I'll fall back. Longest in 10+ years that I've gone was 7 whole days, just to see if beer tasted different after that. Scared to go 60 without another one if I make it because all of my good memories are with a cold one in my hand. Tell me there's more, right? I don't want to just feel bland every day life but I want to stop. Chasing that 4 beer buzz all day is euphoric, it makes everything that is boring better.
Take a look at this video. I think it might help. It’s called: What’s it really like to get sober? th-cam.com/users/liveP_WPdEA72FI?si=OQ-PWExIPGEGDwIC
@PutTheShovelDown thank you for that, it's just what I needed. 36 hours down so far. Wish me luck!
@PutTheShovelDown just wanted to come back and revist, 9 days sober and hanging in there day by day! My longest sober streak in 10+ years was 7 days so to charge past feels amazing 🥲