This channel is sponsored by Better help betterhelp.com/kev If you haven’t been able to find a mental health professional that’s right for you, give better help a try. It’s a new modern, more affordable way to get mental health treatment. You can receive counseling by certified licensed therapist through computer, phone, text, video calls and more. They help you pick a counselor based on your goals and preferences, and if you don’t like the counselor you can request to be paired with someone else. They really just want to help you find the help that you need. Financial aid is even available for those who qualify. It may not be for everybody but give it a try before you give up. Just get treatment somewhere. Just go to betterhelp.com/kev
So many people of both sexes still don't understand that relationships are work, love is work. They just want the highs and the good feels. Truly understanding your partner's wants and needs should be relationship homework for anyone looking to go the distance. I'm not in a relationship but I'm still here listening Kev, because I want to be prepared to be the best partner I can for that special someone. Thank you for doing this. 🦋🌻🐛(edited for bad spelling, lol)
@@juliesauve6719 Thank you! Love that last sentence.... absolutely. Tomorrow doesn't have to be the same as today, we should always be in a state of learning and growing. And I preach to my daughters that it's necessary to be a whole person before trying to be in a serious relationship, i.e., not an emotionally damaged person. So important.
Relationships don’t require work, your career requires work! Why should you have to go to work and then come home and work? Relationships require commitment and selflessness. Been married 25 years and we love each other by communicating our needs and wants and following through. You shouldn’t have to “ fight” for love, or work for it.
The truth is not popular, however, it's needed. Your time isn't being wasted because it is helping somebody and creating a difference and that's what really matters. Stay encouraged and keep your head up. No matter what, you have our support. ☺️
I'd watch Way more relationship advice ☺️. I'm in a new relationship with a man that actually makes me WANT to know and do these things, and I want to learn. This was great, thank you! 🙌
This is so true and not only works in romantic relationships. I was married for 12 years and I was writing letters and being affectionate and giving verbal affirmation to my Wasband and his love language was gifts and acts of service. He would buy me cars, jewelry, gifts etc., and I was like thanks, but I just want a hug and kiss! I also had my children take it because they feel love differently as well! Learning your and your partners love language is vitally important for the success of your/any relationship.
This video is great because in my last relationship, I went with this approach. Not only did I have us talk about and take a love language quiz, I would try and check in with him every now and again about what he needed. I think I was on the right track with that. What ultimately hurt us was that he decided his needs were way more important than my needs, so it went from kind of 50/50 to 10/90, where I had to take care of my needs AND most of his needs, but he also didn't like to communicate, so we could never really talk it out. That's why a partner who can communicate and is open is so highly important to me, now.
I totally agree w you & I’ve been in this same situation. The lack of communication or a person leaving you to figure everything out on your own will most def kill the entire relationship. It’s immature, unbalanced & very draining. After trying several ideas .. it leaves me no other options but to say this isn’t working for me & go on abt my business.
I don't think your previous partner was a partner to deal with in the first place. Sounds more like a little boy and jerk to me🤷🏽♀️ As a secure woman as soon as I realize I have an emotionally unavailable partner who cares only about himself I'm packing up my things and leaving. I'm not staying to try to please him. It never works! You were good to try to work it out lol. Also there are red flags at the beginning of most situationships which is what you had. Many women choose to ignore those red flags thinking they can change a man's mind. A man directly lets you know if he wants you or not. You can't force a man to want you. If he doesn't show any genuine interest let it go and leave him alone. Stop running down men that doesn't want you! Glad that you were led to Kevin's videos and are getting some common sense about fools and authentic men now😊 Also if I am aware that a previous relationship didn't work out and the man was indeed a jerk I don't or won't try to paint him as good🤦🏽♀️ If he was an ass say that. Your mind is very powerful. Stop believing that this fool was good. He's NOT! If I was you I was letting everybody on here know he was a clown🤡💩🗑️
@@chelsieromero4874 I have a question. I’m dating this guy who is about to graduate college with his Masters. He keeps constantly telling me that he will be gone all day because of his new job starting soon. Says he wants a family and a wife but he probably won’t be around a lot. He believes his career is number one is his life. My love language is Quality Time. Right now he’s around me a lot because he’s trying to get me to be his future wife but this is temporary based off what he says. Should I consider this a red flag? And keep it moving.
@@justlissa8192 TBH I can't really say as it's not enough information for me to know if he's a player or not. If you can give me a little more information like what he does and doesn't do then I may be able to help😊 Also how long have y'all been dating like how many months, years etc🤔
@@justlissa8192 if you say your love language is quality time and he said that he won't be spending much time with you and the children you guys have together will that feel fulfilling for you in the long run? Only you can decide if you can handle that.
I think it takes a lot of security in a woman to want to know what is needed in her relationship and as long as those needs are not destructive to the stability of the relationship, then they must be considered. Women are very vocal about their needs for the most part but men are very hesitant to express their vulnerability especially if they think it will create strife. If a woman is getting her needs met, she should be all the more ready to accommodate her partners needs. Great video!😊
Agreed 💯 wanted to add tho 🙏 if there are needs that are considered 'destructive' in any context, I feel like they should be considered and validated as well , to be acted upon or employed in any way is another issue. Maybe I'm wrong, is it masculine or negative? Some consider shadow work?
Consider writing a book on relationships and promote it on social media. Your content is spot on. It's truly healing, empowering and liberating. Stay blessed and knowledgeable
Your videos are extremely empowering to women. I was abused for years and your videos totally changed my life! I am now away from him and taking time to myself. When I’m ready to meet someone new I will be armed with the right skills to find the right man. Thank you so much Kev, 4 years of serious depression and I’m free because of the skills you have given me.
Us women definitely have that intuition and it always tells us when a man is not fulfilled with us but that carries shame for ourselves and it’s easier to point the finger which is why we go looking for evidence he’s not happy instead of asking why.
Love others the way you want to be loved…which means loving them the way they receive love. That’s what you would want, to be loved in the way you receive love. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!
Your videos have helped me more than you'll ever know. This is my first ever comment on your content. I started watching you when I started dating a man after 32+ years of not dating my men. I've been a lesbian my whole life until my boyfriend dropped into my life like a bomb 3+ years ago. I don't recall how I found you, but I was so grateful I did. I watched your videos non-stop for the first year because I was so freaked out. I had no idea how to relate to a heterosexual male or have an intimate (heartfelt) relationship with a Black man. Your insight, brevity, matter of factness, and genuine care got me through a LOT of uncertainty, hard feelings, and wtf moments that I don't think our relationship would have survived if it wasn't for you quite honesty. The biggest take away in the very beginning is when you said "ladies, your man is not your girlfriend, he's not going to relate to you like your bestfriend, you can't expcet him to..."! That was gold! That took a lot of pressure off me that I was placing on him. In queer relationships, my x-wife was all of that. Hearing you say that in the beginning gave me the insight to give us a lot of space to find our way, and he didn't have to be my everything for it to work. It was radical. I talk about you all the time to him and countless other people... "Well, Kev says...". My boyfriend is grateful I found your channel in the beginning. For me, your non-aggressive, very approoachable male perspective, combined with being a Black man, helped me to understand him more. I am forever grateful for your channel. Your wise wisdom content may not get the bajillion views, but trust and believe that the ones who are meant to hear your words, will, and they are very impactful and can and do change lives. They did mine. Blessings to you and your family. Thank you for all your help. 🌱💫🍀
I have to ask this and I don’t want to be rude but what is it about this man that made you attracted to him after 32 years of dating women? Give as many details as you are comfortable with. I’m genuinely curious. ☮️🇨🇦
Kev! The videos that you make about maturity are exactly THE REASON you stand out from other guys. You are right these videos are your best ones. They are the ones I listen to and replay more than once.
This makes a lot of sense. For instance, your man might like his space and, when he comes back around, needs you to be happy to see him just as you usually would. He would just need his woman to understand that, for whatever reason, he needs to pull away for a minute. Then, he needs you to be confident enough in the relationship to not give him a bad time about it. The hard part, though, is that men don't tell you stuff like this. As the woman, you have to put on your Spider-spidey senses suit and figure it out somehow and, unfortunately, by the time many of us DO figure it out, he's mad that you asked him where he's been and now he's gone. The thing I wish you would speak about is the fact that a woman will forgive a man over and over for his mess. She'll start over with him every day of the week but you make one mistake with a man and you are no longer his Miss Wonderful and he never forgets that you disappointed him and wasn't perfect. Why?
@@scardelaro Oh, when I say 'mess', I mean stuff like going to see his mama during the week more times than he comes to see you, or having to tell him, with love and respect in both your manner and your voice, that he's doing something that rubs you the wrong way but no matter how calmly and caringly you tell him, he continues to do it then looks at you like you're the crazy and imperfect one when you finally jump up and say, "LOOK, NEGRO, I DUN' TOLD YOU!" That's what I mean. Not cheating. No. That just says he wants to be someplace else and that's where you make sure he goes.
My fiancé needs at least an hour to himself in the mornings. Not when we work obviously but on the weekends. He wakes up, says good morning, gives me a kiss and goes for a drive lol At first I thought maybe we were spending too much time together if he needed to do that but he just explained that that’s just how he is. Even when he was single he’d always like to go for a drive in the mornings. Doesn’t bother me now. I like alone time too :)
Is disappearing for a month at a time "space"? I get really upset and I feel like I have the right to do that. I'm all for needing space, hell, I need space sometimes too. But he will just go silent with out a single word and then come back apologizing. I'm done, tbh. He insists he's not cheating, maybe he isn't, but leaving without letting me know what's up is extremely disrespectful and now I don't want him anymore.
I pray more people come across your channel man you're changing the game with the way you're delivering this to the people, keep doing your thing and GOD BLESS.
It's awesome that you comment in appreciation to his awesome advice bc I noticed the more comments a video gets, the more the YT algorithm will recommend it. Nice words of encouragement from you. 🤗
I watch all videos that you make, if they apply to me or not. I always hear a new great golden nugget from you, Kev! You often put my thoughts to concise words. I'm still trying to figure what would support my darling lad. I used to bring him fruit at work. He's temporarily far away right now, but we chat more now than ever. We have age and language obstacles, but are spiritually in tune so closely it's astonishing. We say more in eye contact and a hand touch than words can express. I have no illusions about our future. I do plan for his presence in my life in one way or another, as does he. This is a very high octave form of love. My doctor can see the positive difference he's made in my life! Shocker! I did have to work on myself quite a bit to accept the reality of the gift he offered me, thinking it was a trick, but no. No trick! Take care Kev! You're the best!
If you want to preach the truth expect not to be supported by plenty. Know this and know peace, so try not to feel and stay a certain way for long. We watching Kev 👍
This was so helpful! So many of us are guilty of saying “I cook for him, I wash his clothes…” or whatever. While we have been taught that these are things men want done for them, this may not be a priority for every man, as you pointed out Kev. There may be more important things that we are missing, meanwhile we think we are doing everything right. This was eye opening for me. THANK YOU 🙏🏽
I heard a saying my daughter showed me on Tik Tok. Why are you doing wife duties when you are only hos girlfriend? Men want to do things for us. Just let them do for you honey!
That's because men keep saying "we're simple, all we need is ____, it's y'all that are complicated!" Yet this also tends to come from those who haven't done their inner work, so it's just hard to get clear on.
Thank you for sharing....getting the man and keeping the man are two different things, being happy in the relationship requires insight and maintenance.
You love a man how he needs to be loved; not how you want to love him. THATS having real love for someone... and vice versa. Gary Chapman also goes in depth about this... he talks about the 5 love languages.
Im very happy you do it. I grew up without a dad so I really appreciate your content and I think it’s the most realistic and honest coaching I’ve seen so far.
Mad respect for you and your realness. I will speak for myself when I say your words on relationships are pure gold. Authentic and straight from the heart. Never stop.
Your words are powerful and much needed. If you have a message, just deliver it. The world is changing at a rapid pace...you don't know when someone will find your video at the time they need it most! I've found your vids from 3yrs ago and forwarded them to family and friends who thanked me for introducing you and your advice...they are new subscribers😊 You know your purpose...stay true to it. TH-cam may not know what to do with your content...the Universe will put everything in place at the right time. Stay Great cuz greater things are closer than you can imagine!
This was all beautifully said! I think it’s hard to accept the criticism of our partner, but it’s a key factor in personal growth. That is- if you are open to it and open to make an effort to work on those areas. It’s never easy to put yourself out there and be vulnerable; however it’s a necessary step. There is a fine line between being over protective of one’s self as well as being careless and reckless. Vulnerability brings empathy and understanding. Communication always seems the hardest to do simply because we go in with made up assumptions. Instead of seeking understanding.
Love me some Kev… please do not get discouraged, that’s what the devil wants…Keep them coming brother, every video has helped me to grow & become even more prepared for when my BOAZ comes❣️❣️🙏🏾🙌🏾😘
Exactly the power struggle is real. Why put in effort when they don't meet you half way, or when you notice it's going nowhere and when the guy thinks omission of the truth, isn't a lie You start to converse less naturally, trust is broken.
Kev you’re amazingggggggg! Waaaaaaaaaaaay better than these CLEARLY single men who are playing women. Spreading toxic ideas of ‘ignoring people to get them to chase’ and just generally advice that is not healthy nor beneficial. You have changed my life!!!!! Please don’t stop making content 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
YES this helps! Every syllable this man utters is so good, smart, so on point, and helpful. He thinks out problems so deeply and in such detail that I try and write down every word. ( I would love transcripts.) Can't wait to try this out. Great for those of us whose relationship is in trouble and want and need to try and rescue it. I appreciate you so much Kevin. You give me hope that I can be better and we can be better. You are definitely following your life's task and I am so grateful to you. I APPRECIATE you!!! Thank You thank you!
Great video, I've been married now for 20 years, we're still evolving and growing individually and as a couple, so listening to these youthful advice is golden, because sometimes we do forget how to love and how yo even date our spouses.
Hi Kev Hick. i just want to say that it can be frustrating not getting the views you deserve on your intellect and wisdom but people like me see these and are so grateful for these. You are definitely touching people out there even if is not reflective in the likes or views.
I think ppl tend to be more focused on "acquiring a person to be with", but not so much on keeping the relationship going. That's likely why the relationship vids don't do as well as dating topics. Chemistry & compatibility absolutely can die over time without constant effort towards mutual respect, loyalty, honesty, communication, etc. You can go into a relationship on the same wavelength, but if neither party is willing to meet the other where they are as life happens, the gap will widen. It's also easier for ppl to pass the blame on a failed relationship or even current issue & hop into the next one instead of looking at where they may have contributed. Personally, I find relationship vids more useful. I've been single several yrs, but they are a very useful self-reflection & growth tool. It's also nice to hear some mindset validation every now & then to combat the occasional self-doubts.
I can say all your videos have helped me out of trouble. May the promotions reach millions of people on TH-cam, all videos be watched + liked/thumbs up by all the millions of folk who watches.
I understand. Try thinking of it this way....your videos reach and touch one person,that one person is called to reach thousands,the thousands reach millions!!
9:42 Amen I needed to hear that. After listening I see how I show up as a problem in multiple ways in my relationship. I have to unlearn some stubborn habits and apply what I learned. Thank you I love your content.
That pretty much sums it up . I wish to have a partner who is vocal about their needs and is open to criticism from me as well. apparently it's practically impossible to make your point about someone without offending them . specially with SOs.
Powerful video, thanks so much for sharing🌹. I often question why we don’t have more videos like this! I believe many thrive on drama, believing there is ease in suppositions in place of genuineness and vulnerability.
Oooooooo okok. Ok. I hear you. When you said a woman's intuition can tell when our men are cheating but not when they're unhappy... I felt it. Ok . You right ✅️ mental note taken sir
Absolutely, ask for critique. I love that and create a safe space. My dad taught me that too, "What can I do to help you?" or "Is there anything, you need from me?" "Can I get you anything?" And make an attempted change
Those words you spoke today made me hit the subscribe button..... Pandering to the crowd makes you "a one hit wonder' and Cheap! You bring value to the internet bro...
Thank you for caring. The Truth Always Wins and it will continuously Bless you and your channel.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Thank you so much for everything you do!!! You have saved many women from straight Trauma, devastation and abuse caused by a Toxic, game playing, Immature man/Boy...
Yes, it is frustrating. The majority of our society is not evolved, not deep thinkers and not wise enough to do the growth work needed. In an ideal world, you would have so much more subscribers, but in this moment of time, looks like most of people are not ready to go to the depth you're offering. We see you,we hear you and we learn. Give it some time, they will catch up eventually, I hope. Thank you for the valuable work you do .
Thank you for your interest in providing relationships & related videos. We have developed a certain kind of mindset where relationships are all about money or material things should not be a defining factor. "Money cannot buy love," period. Unfortunately some have been "brainwashed" into believing that "high value" crap. I honestly wish that era would go away. We cannot define relationships by other people's standards. We've been in marriage for close to 3 decades plus and from the beginning of the friendship, money was not on our checklist. Individuality, love was by more than attraction, creativity , intellect, gifts,abilities skills etc., spirituality, educational background and pooling of our resources and the things we had in common while working on those that we not in common. Most healthy relationships are NOT based on high value or money or looks. Not saying theses don't help. Relationships knowing who you are and knowing who your partner is. A healthy understanding of each other which grows and develops. Healthy relationships stem from building together, understanding, learning, socializing with other couples, and effective communication are just a few key factors. If the focus is on the outward things with materialistic objectives at the forefront, to impress, and not on things inward, then they are circumstancial and least likely to last.
I think it’s really the fact that it’s a lot more single folk out here then ones in relationships honestly not about disinterest in the content at all! It’s kind of a sad reality of the state of dating these days. I’m sure if there were more people in happy healthy relationships those videos would have more views then the ones geared towards single people. Just an outsiders and viewers realty and observation. Thank you for doing what you do to help our community either way 💕
I'm really disappointed that Your Videos are not still up I have gotten a lot of Inspiration and energy from your Videos. And I look forward to new stuff You add.
Im here for it. I figure that when I do get into a relationship I should have put work into being attentive to him and having a man perspective from a respectable man. Thanks Kev and Mrs Kev
"What was the question..the question was" 😂....Even I forgot what the question was Kev🤣. I'm grateful your catering to all your audience. Keep going, never stop! We support you🤝🤛💪
Kev, it's understandable to not feel motivated to do good works when you are being taken for granted. There is a saying - the cream always rises to the top. So don't race to fill the bottom of the jug. Everyone is on their own journey and may take longer to realize or admit that something or someone more substantive is going to make their lives more fulfilling. You are appreciated. ♥️
Don't stop, they keep coming back, now we single we just hear but when we get to that point in life this will be useful so don't stop. Found this channel a week ago and I'm binging, all in all it makes so much sense! Keep up💯👍
Happy Easter Kev and family!!! 🐰🐣🐰🐣 Unfortunately wise authentic advice doesn't reach the masses as you've stated many times. However please don't quit because it's something that you enjoy doing, also there are those few that you're helping more than you know. Sharing 👌🏽👍🏽
I really don't know why TH-cam had this come up BUT your advice is 100% on point! This is coming from someone that's been married nearly 39 years! We never had counseling but the things that you stated are the things that made it work for us. We just had to figure it out ourselves. GREAT ADVICE PEOPLE!!
Such good advice Kev, to get clear about what your man needs. It seems so simple, and yet is commonly overlooked. Even I didn't think about that until you suggested it. To understand a man's love language, yes, but to understand his needs, this is new to me. So grateful to you☺
I have been saying that for years, you have to love me the way I need to be loved...and vice versa, now that is work and that is the living definition of a real working relationship.
This channel is sponsored by Better help betterhelp.com/kev
If you haven’t been able to find a mental health professional that’s right for you, give better help a try. It’s a new modern, more affordable way to get mental health treatment. You can receive counseling by certified licensed therapist through computer, phone, text, video calls and more. They help you pick a counselor based on your goals and preferences, and if you don’t like the counselor you can request to be paired with someone else. They really just want to help you find the help that you need. Financial aid is even available for those who qualify. It may not be for everybody but give it a try before you give up. Just get treatment somewhere. Just go to betterhelp.com/kev
So many people of both sexes still don't understand that relationships are work, love is work. They just want the highs and the good feels. Truly understanding your partner's wants and needs should be relationship homework for anyone looking to go the distance.
I'm not in a relationship but I'm still here listening Kev, because I want to be prepared to be the best partner I can for that special someone. Thank you for doing this. 🦋🌻🐛(edited for bad spelling, lol)
Well said. It is important to work on ourselves first before we go into the relationship. Every day is a new opportunity for growth.
@@juliesauve6719 Thank you! Love that last sentence.... absolutely. Tomorrow doesn't have to be the same as today, we should always be in a state of learning and growing. And I preach to my daughters that it's necessary to be a whole person before trying to be in a serious relationship, i.e., not an emotionally damaged person. So important.
Relationships don’t require work, your career requires work! Why should you have to go to work and then come home and work?
Relationships require commitment and selflessness. Been married 25 years and we love each other by communicating our needs and wants and following through. You shouldn’t have to “ fight” for love, or work for it.
@@goodseed1024 that's beautiful to hear🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
It is because people think love is a feeling when it is an action.
״It’s funny when a woman’s intuition tells her when something’s wrong or when a guy is cheating but never when he’s unhappy.״
This is gold 🤩
The truth is not popular, however, it's needed. Your time isn't being wasted because it is helping somebody and creating a difference and that's what really matters. Stay encouraged and keep your head up. No matter what, you have our support. ☺️
Absolutely we out here,, listening still set apart and chosen and i am grateful for this content and awarness
Your videos are game/life changing. Stay encouraged and God bless you and yours for all that you do!
Please know that we live in a world that values “fake” and very few look for wisdom. Anyways I value them ✊🏾
Exactly
@@KevHick this was sooo powerful ‼️because it’s truth
@@sungaze342 thank you. I hope it empowers someone in the relationship
I'd watch Way more relationship advice ☺️. I'm in a new relationship with a man that actually makes me WANT to know and do these things, and I want to learn. This was great, thank you! 🙌
They are coming
This is so true and not only works in romantic relationships. I was married for 12 years and I was writing letters and being affectionate and giving verbal affirmation to my Wasband and his love language was gifts and acts of service. He would buy me cars, jewelry, gifts etc., and I was like thanks, but I just want a hug and kiss! I also had my children take it because they feel love differently as well! Learning your and your partners love language is vitally important for the success of your/any relationship.
💯💯💯
Girl, but that guy sound amazing!
This video is great because in my last relationship, I went with this approach. Not only did I have us talk about and take a love language quiz, I would try and check in with him every now and again about what he needed. I think I was on the right track with that. What ultimately hurt us was that he decided his needs were way more important than my needs, so it went from kind of 50/50 to 10/90, where I had to take care of my needs AND most of his needs, but he also didn't like to communicate, so we could never really talk it out. That's why a partner who can communicate and is open is so highly important to me, now.
I totally agree w you & I’ve been in this same situation. The lack of communication or a person leaving you to figure everything out on your own will most def kill the entire relationship. It’s immature, unbalanced & very draining. After trying several ideas .. it leaves me no other options but to say this isn’t working for me & go on abt my business.
I don't think your previous partner was a partner to deal with in the first place. Sounds more like a little boy and jerk to me🤷🏽♀️
As a secure woman as soon as I realize I have an emotionally unavailable partner who cares only about himself I'm packing up my things and leaving. I'm not staying to try to please him. It never works! You were good to try to work it out lol.
Also there are red flags at the beginning of most situationships which is what you had. Many women choose to ignore those red flags thinking they can change a man's mind. A man directly lets you know if he wants you or not. You can't force a man to want you. If he doesn't show any genuine interest let it go and leave him alone. Stop running down men that doesn't want you! Glad that you were led to Kevin's videos and are getting some common sense about fools and authentic men now😊
Also if I am aware that a previous relationship didn't work out and the man was indeed a jerk I don't or won't try to paint him as good🤦🏽♀️ If he was an ass say that. Your mind is very powerful. Stop believing that this fool was good. He's NOT!
If I was you I was letting everybody on here know he was a clown🤡💩🗑️
@@chelsieromero4874 I have a question. I’m dating this guy who is about to graduate college with his Masters. He keeps constantly telling me that he will be gone all day because of his new job starting soon. Says he wants a family and a wife but he probably won’t be around a lot. He believes his career is number one is his life. My love language is Quality Time. Right now he’s around me a lot because he’s trying to get me to be his future wife but this is temporary based off what he says. Should I consider this a red flag? And keep it moving.
@@justlissa8192 TBH I can't really say as it's not enough information for me to know if he's a player or not. If you can give me a little more information like what he does and doesn't do then I may be able to help😊
Also how long have y'all been dating like how many months, years etc🤔
@@justlissa8192 if you say your love language is quality time and he said that he won't be spending much time with you and the children you guys have together will that feel fulfilling for you in the long run? Only you can decide if you can handle that.
I think it takes a lot of security in a woman to want to know what is needed in her relationship and as long as those needs are not destructive to the stability of the relationship, then they must be considered.
Women are very vocal about their needs for the most part but men are very hesitant to express their vulnerability especially if they think it will create strife.
If a woman is getting her needs met, she should be all the more ready to accommodate her partners needs.
Great video!😊
It does. Great point
Agreed 💯 wanted to add tho 🙏 if there are needs that are considered 'destructive' in any context, I feel like they should be considered and validated as well , to be acted upon or employed in any way is another issue. Maybe I'm wrong, is it masculine or negative? Some consider shadow work?
0000
You're made of gentle, pure soul.
Adore seeing you preaching woman in loving demeanor. Continue being kind yet decisive man.
Consider writing a book on relationships and promote it on social media. Your content is spot on. It's truly healing, empowering and liberating. Stay blessed and knowledgeable
Your videos are extremely empowering to women. I was abused for years and your videos totally changed my life! I am now away from him and taking time to myself. When I’m ready to meet someone new I will be armed with the right skills to find the right man.
Thank you so much Kev, 4 years of serious depression and I’m free because of the skills you have given me.
Yours is an amazing testimony! As a complete a stranger I am so proud of and happy for you! And keep up the amazing work Kev!! 💖🙌🏾
Us women definitely have that intuition and it always tells us when a man is not fulfilled with us but that carries shame for ourselves and it’s easier to point the finger which is why we go looking for evidence he’s not happy instead of asking why.
Love others the way you want to be loved…which means loving them the way they receive love. That’s what you would want, to be loved in the way you receive love.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!
Your videos have helped me more than you'll ever know. This is my first ever comment on your content. I started watching you when I started dating a man after 32+ years of not dating my men. I've been a lesbian my whole life until my boyfriend dropped into my life like a bomb 3+ years ago. I don't recall how I found you, but I was so grateful I did. I watched your videos non-stop for the first year because I was so freaked out. I had no idea how to relate to a heterosexual male or have an intimate (heartfelt) relationship with a Black man. Your insight, brevity, matter of factness, and genuine care got me through a LOT of uncertainty, hard feelings, and wtf moments that I don't think our relationship would have survived if it wasn't for you quite honesty. The biggest take away in the very beginning is when you said "ladies, your man is not your girlfriend, he's not going to relate to you like your bestfriend, you can't expcet him to..."! That was gold! That took a lot of pressure off me that I was placing on him. In queer relationships, my x-wife was all of that. Hearing you say that in the beginning gave me the insight to give us a lot of space to find our way, and he didn't have to be my everything for it to work. It was radical. I talk about you all the time to him and countless other people... "Well, Kev says...". My boyfriend is grateful I found your channel in the beginning. For me, your non-aggressive, very approoachable male perspective, combined with being a Black man, helped me to understand him more. I am forever grateful for your channel. Your wise wisdom content may not get the bajillion views, but trust and believe that the ones who are meant to hear your words, will, and they are very impactful and can and do change lives. They did mine. Blessings to you and your family. Thank you for all your help. 🌱💫🍀
I have to ask this and I don’t want to be rude but what is it about this man that made you attracted to him after 32 years of dating women? Give as many details as you are comfortable with. I’m genuinely curious. ☮️🇨🇦
We appreciate you mane, no time is wasted. You've saved quite a few people from their own demise please believe.
You literally change my relationship life at age 31. Don't stop!!!
I LOVE whatchu said about loving sumone according to THEIR needs... not the needs you wud want fulfilled for yourself... spot on.
Kev! The videos that you make about maturity are exactly THE REASON you stand out from other guys. You are right these videos are your best ones. They are the ones I listen to and replay more than once.
This makes a lot of sense. For instance, your man might like his space and, when he comes back around, needs you to be happy to see him just as you usually would. He would just need his woman to understand that, for whatever reason, he needs to pull away for a minute. Then, he needs you to be confident enough in the relationship to not give him a bad time about it. The hard part, though, is that men don't tell you stuff like this. As the woman, you have to put on your Spider-spidey senses suit and figure it out somehow and, unfortunately, by the time many of us DO figure it out, he's mad that you asked him where he's been and now he's gone. The thing I wish you would speak about is the fact that a woman will forgive a man over and over for his mess. She'll start over with him every day of the week but you make one mistake with a man and you are no longer his Miss Wonderful and he never forgets that you disappointed him and wasn't perfect. Why?
So true
Don't forgive his mess. Specially cheating. PLEASE sis
@@scardelaro Oh, when I say 'mess', I mean stuff like going to see his mama during the week more times than he comes to see you, or having to tell him, with love and respect in both your manner and your voice, that he's doing something that rubs you the wrong way but no matter how calmly and caringly you tell him, he continues to do it then looks at you like you're the crazy and imperfect one when you finally jump up and say, "LOOK, NEGRO, I DUN' TOLD YOU!" That's what I mean. Not cheating. No. That just says he wants to be someplace else and that's where you make sure he goes.
My fiancé needs at least an hour to himself in the mornings. Not when we work obviously but on the weekends. He wakes up, says good morning, gives me a kiss and goes for a drive lol
At first I thought maybe we were spending too much time together if he needed to do that but he just explained that that’s just how he is. Even when he was single he’d always like to go for a drive in the mornings.
Doesn’t bother me now. I like alone time too :)
Is disappearing for a month at a time "space"? I get really upset and I feel like I have the right to do that. I'm all for needing space, hell, I need space sometimes too. But he will just go silent with out a single word and then come back apologizing. I'm done, tbh. He insists he's not cheating, maybe he isn't, but leaving without letting me know what's up is extremely disrespectful and now I don't want him anymore.
I pray more people come across your channel man you're changing the game with the way you're delivering this to the people, keep doing your thing and GOD BLESS.
That's a shame Kevin about the relationship posts stay encouraged love all your videos. Grand Raising to you and family.
I appreciate that. Thank you 🙏🏾
It's awesome that you comment in appreciation to his awesome advice bc I noticed the more comments a video gets, the more the YT algorithm will recommend it. Nice words of encouragement from you. 🤗
I watch all videos that you make, if they apply to me or not. I always hear a new great golden nugget from you, Kev! You often put my thoughts to concise words.
I'm still trying to figure what would support my darling lad. I used to bring him fruit at work. He's temporarily far away right now, but we chat more now than ever. We have age and language obstacles, but are spiritually in tune so closely it's astonishing. We say more in eye contact and a hand touch than words can express. I have no illusions about our future. I do plan for his presence in my life in one way or another, as does he. This is a very high octave form of love. My doctor can see the positive difference he's made in my life! Shocker! I did have to work on myself quite a bit to accept the reality of the gift he offered me, thinking it was a trick, but no. No trick! Take care Kev! You're the best!
You are very very wise to understand this. And this is WHY I'm not in a relationship. Most men won't do this ....
You are a god send. Love your delivery of advice. Gentle, informative, doesn't make women feel too bad about themselves.
You are absolutely right. A lot of people operate in selfishness and they’re not even aware of it.Thank you 🙏🏽♥️
If you want to preach the truth expect not to be supported by plenty. Know this and know peace, so try not to feel and stay a certain way for long. We watching Kev 👍
That is a lot of wisdom coming from such a young man. Keep up the good work
This is some golden advise and an absolute truth. The power struggle is Real!!
This was so helpful! So many of us are guilty of saying “I cook for him, I wash his clothes…” or whatever. While we have been taught that these are things men want done for them, this may not be a priority for every man, as you pointed out Kev. There may be more important things that we are missing, meanwhile we think we are doing everything right. This was eye opening for me. THANK YOU 🙏🏽
I heard a saying my daughter showed me on Tik Tok. Why are you doing wife duties when you are only hos girlfriend? Men want to do things for us. Just let them do for you honey!
That's because men keep saying "we're simple, all we need is ____, it's y'all that are complicated!" Yet this also tends to come from those who haven't done their inner work, so it's just hard to get clear on.
Thank you for sharing....getting the man and keeping the man are two different things, being happy in the relationship requires insight and maintenance.
You love a man how he needs to be loved; not how you want to love him. THATS having real love for someone... and vice versa. Gary Chapman also goes in depth about this... he talks about the 5 love languages.
8:09 Thank you. I needed to hear that and unfortunately no one else is saying it. Damn.. good point
Im very happy you do it. I grew up without a dad so I really appreciate your content and I think it’s the most realistic and honest coaching I’ve seen so far.
This video was GOLDEN! Definitely one of your better ones! Super helpful info that’s not so readily available on TH-cam
Mad respect for you and your realness. I will speak for myself when I say your words on relationships are pure gold. Authentic and straight from the heart. Never stop.
This was one of the best relationship videos I’ve ever watched.
Wow I love the idea of asking a man what his relationship fantasy was; I’ve never considered doing that but it’s definitely necessary to know
It’s not about being popular but effective! Kev. Stay blessed! 💯
You are wise beyond words. So sorry that youtube isn’t prioritising your Golden words and insight
Your words are powerful and much needed. If you have a message, just deliver it. The world is changing at a rapid pace...you don't know when someone will find your video at the time they need it most! I've found your vids from 3yrs ago and forwarded them to family and friends who thanked me for introducing you and your advice...they are new subscribers😊 You know your purpose...stay true to it. TH-cam may not know what to do with your content...the Universe will put everything in place at the right time. Stay Great cuz greater things are closer than you can imagine!
Wise words💕💕💕
I needed this reminder in this moment. Thank you.
Truth.
This was all beautifully said! I think it’s hard to accept the criticism of our partner, but it’s a key factor in personal growth. That is- if you are open to it and open to make an effort to work on those areas. It’s never easy to put yourself out there and be vulnerable; however it’s a necessary step. There is a fine line between being over protective of one’s self as well as being careless and reckless. Vulnerability brings empathy and understanding.
Communication always seems the hardest to do simply because we go in with made up assumptions. Instead of seeking understanding.
Your authenticity is refreshing ~ thank you for making videos like this ~ greatly appreciated
Love me some Kev… please do not get discouraged, that’s what the devil wants…Keep them coming brother, every video has helped me to grow & become even more prepared for when my BOAZ comes❣️❣️🙏🏾🙌🏾😘
Thank you kev. You have always given me more. Your calmness,speak volumes. Thank you again. Your message is quite received. Truth!
Exactly the power struggle is real. Why put in effort when they don't meet you half way, or when you notice it's going nowhere and when the guy thinks omission of the truth, isn't a lie
You start to converse less naturally, trust is broken.
Kev you’re amazingggggggg! Waaaaaaaaaaaay better than these CLEARLY single men who are playing women. Spreading toxic ideas of ‘ignoring people to get them to chase’ and just generally advice that is not healthy nor beneficial. You have changed my life!!!!! Please don’t stop making content 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
YES this helps! Every syllable this man utters is so good, smart, so on point, and helpful. He thinks out problems so deeply and in such detail that I try and write down every word. ( I would love transcripts.) Can't wait to try this out. Great for those of us whose relationship is in trouble and want and need to try and rescue it. I appreciate you so much Kevin. You give me hope that I can be better and we can be better. You are definitely following your life's task and I am so grateful to you. I APPRECIATE you!!! Thank You thank you!
Great video, I've been married now for 20 years, we're still evolving and growing individually and as a couple, so listening to these youthful advice is golden, because sometimes we do forget how to love and how yo even date our spouses.
We need them. I need to hear them. Thanks 🙏🏽
Don't let anything stop your inspiration....you give golden advice...thank you for helping me so many others❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for caring and being transparent, Kev.
Hi Kev Hick. i just want to say that it can be frustrating not getting the views you deserve on your intellect and wisdom but people like me see these and are so grateful for these. You are definitely touching people out there even if is not reflective in the likes or views.
Well I’m here now idk where I was 2years ago , would’ve saved me some wasted time & im watching alllll of them . Thanks !!
I think ppl tend to be more focused on "acquiring a person to be with", but not so much on keeping the relationship going. That's likely why the relationship vids don't do as well as dating topics. Chemistry & compatibility absolutely can die over time without constant effort towards mutual respect, loyalty, honesty, communication, etc. You can go into a relationship on the same wavelength, but if neither party is willing to meet the other where they are as life happens, the gap will widen. It's also easier for ppl to pass the blame on a failed relationship or even current issue & hop into the next one instead of looking at where they may have contributed.
Personally, I find relationship vids more useful. I've been single several yrs, but they are a very useful self-reflection & growth tool. It's also nice to hear some mindset validation every now & then to combat the occasional self-doubts.
I can say all your videos have helped me out of trouble. May the promotions reach millions of people on TH-cam, all videos be watched + liked/thumbs up by all the millions of folk who watches.
Your wisdom is heavenly and we're here for all the truth...that's all I can say.
I understand. Try thinking of it this way....your videos reach and touch one person,that one person is called to reach thousands,the thousands reach millions!!
Yes... Speak their love language 🥰
Thanks for sharing. I will certainly be putting this into practice.
This should be your #1 video thanks for posting
5:24 this is a good question to ask so on point. I just recently got engaged so I’m going to ask him. Thank you
Good job!. Spot on!
Thank you, that was beautiful and perfect!
9:42 Amen I needed to hear that. After listening I see how I show up as a problem in multiple ways in my relationship. I have to unlearn some stubborn habits and apply what I learned. Thank you I love your content.
That pretty much sums it up . I wish to have a partner who is vocal about their needs and is open to criticism from me as well. apparently it's practically impossible to make your point about someone without offending them . specially with SOs.
We still need them so thank u for giving your perspective
Thank you Kevin. You're appreciated!
Love people in a way that’s important to them
Powerful video, thanks so much for sharing🌹. I often question why we don’t have more videos like this! I believe many thrive on drama, believing there is ease in suppositions in place of genuineness and vulnerability.
Great message, thank you so much! I'm single, but I hope to bring my best self to the next relationship someday
Really what i feel and belives exact so God blees U men for Ur time 😇
Oooooooo okok. Ok. I hear you. When you said a woman's intuition can tell when our men are cheating but not when they're unhappy... I felt it. Ok . You right ✅️ mental note taken sir
This is your best vid. Wish folks would find stuff like this *before* anybody's intuition tips them off to cheating.
We appreciate your videos. You’re easily one of the best coaches out here. Easily!
Absolutely, ask for critique. I love that and create a safe space. My dad taught me that too, "What can I do to help you?" or "Is there anything, you need from me?" "Can I get you anything?" And make an attempted change
The way you love yourself is how others will show their love to you!
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Those words you spoke today made me hit the subscribe button..... Pandering to the crowd makes you "a one hit wonder' and Cheap!
You bring value to the internet bro...
Thank you for caring. The Truth Always Wins and it will continuously Bless you and your channel.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much for everything you do!!! You have saved many women from straight Trauma, devastation and abuse caused by a Toxic, game playing, Immature man/Boy...
Even if not a lot of people support it. Someone out there will appreciate the video… don’t stop making them !!🤞🏾✨
Yes, it is frustrating. The majority of our society is not evolved, not deep thinkers and not wise enough to do the growth work needed. In an ideal world, you would have so much more subscribers, but in this moment of time, looks like most of people are not ready to go to the depth you're offering.
We see you,we hear you and we learn.
Give it some time, they will catch up eventually, I hope.
Thank you for the valuable work you do .
Keep doing it regardless!!!! Ppl need to hear the truth. Too many ppl wanna date without an end goal.
Thank you for your interest in providing relationships & related videos. We have developed a certain kind of mindset where relationships are all about money or material things should not be a defining factor. "Money cannot buy love," period. Unfortunately some have been "brainwashed" into believing that "high value" crap. I honestly wish that era would go away. We cannot define relationships by other people's standards. We've been in marriage for close to 3 decades plus and from the beginning of the friendship, money was not on our checklist. Individuality, love was by more than attraction, creativity , intellect, gifts,abilities skills etc., spirituality, educational background and pooling of our resources and the things we had in common while working on those that we not in common.
Most healthy relationships are NOT based on high value or money or looks. Not saying theses don't help. Relationships knowing who you are and knowing who your partner is. A healthy understanding of each other which grows and develops. Healthy relationships stem from building together, understanding, learning, socializing with other couples, and effective communication are just a few key factors. If the focus is on the outward things with materialistic objectives at the forefront, to impress, and not on things inward, then they are circumstancial and least likely to last.
I like to call these topic constructive conversations. I really enjoy being attentive to him amd studying him. ❤
I think it’s really the fact that it’s a lot more single folk out here then ones in relationships honestly not about disinterest in the content at all! It’s kind of a sad reality of the state of dating these days. I’m sure if there were more people in happy healthy relationships those videos would have more views then the ones geared towards single people. Just an outsiders and viewers realty and observation. Thank you for doing what you do to help our community either way 💕
I'm really disappointed that Your Videos are not still up I have gotten a lot of Inspiration and energy from your Videos. And I look forward to new stuff You add.
I and so many of us appreciate you Kevin. Continue to stay motivated. I love watching your videos, they help me in so many ways.
Im here for it. I figure that when I do get into a relationship I should have put work into being attentive to him and having a man perspective from a respectable man. Thanks Kev and Mrs Kev
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this. It’s a shame these types of videos don’t give you the feedback you deserve.
This is really mature and attractive. Thanks Kev
"What was the question..the question was" 😂....Even I forgot what the question was Kev🤣. I'm grateful your catering to all your audience. Keep going, never stop! We support you🤝🤛💪
😂i be rambling off in different directions 🗺
@@KevHick Totally understandable. Like you said, you're human too. Just don't give up. We need you!🙌
Makes sense bc after dating comes the relationship so it’s really important to get this info also, thanks Kev!
Kev, it's understandable to not feel motivated to do good works when you are being taken for granted. There is a saying - the cream always rises to the top. So don't race to fill the bottom of the jug. Everyone is on their own journey and may take longer to realize or admit that something or someone more substantive is going to make their lives more fulfilling. You are appreciated. ♥️
Don't stop, they keep coming back, now we single we just hear but when we get to that point in life this will be useful so don't stop. Found this channel a week ago and I'm binging, all in all it makes so much sense! Keep up💯👍
Happy Easter Kev and family!!!
🐰🐣🐰🐣
Unfortunately wise authentic advice doesn't reach the masses as you've stated many times. However please don't quit because it's something that you enjoy doing, also there are those few that you're helping more than you know. Sharing 👌🏽👍🏽
I don’t normally comment here, but thank you for being open with us!
I really don't know why TH-cam had this come up BUT your advice is 100% on point! This is coming from someone that's been married nearly 39 years! We never had counseling but the things that you stated are the things that made it work for us. We just had to figure it out ourselves. GREAT ADVICE PEOPLE!!
Such good advice Kev, to get clear about what your man needs. It seems so simple, and yet is commonly overlooked. Even I didn't think about that until you suggested it. To understand a man's love language, yes, but to understand his needs, this is new to me. So grateful to you☺
I have been saying that for years, you have to love me the way I need to be loved...and vice versa, now that is work and that is the living definition of a real working relationship.
This was truly beautiful... content presented and heard.. thanks for the thoughtful work
You are sooooooo sweet. I love your videos. Your kind and don’t mansplain. Your really helping others Ty.