Considering OP’s father and brother aren’t currently sitting in prison for grand theft charges, I’d say that Op’s BiL is being incredibly generous and forgiving. The fact that the worst he’s done to the family is ‘hold a grudge’ is more indicative of his character than op thinks it is.
Just think how much the BIL must love his wife to still be around that family? I have some trying issues with my in-laws, but none of them ever stole $70K from me.
So these guys straight up stole tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, that he needed for his business, and wrecked it all. And he doesn’t know why the brother-in-law is still pissed at him?
Yeah they made a massive mistake and they are in the blame but shouldn’t the BIL have insurance for his equipment. I guess they might not have paid since it wasn’t a workplace accident but that’s another issue
Last story: In her comments, OP admitted that she regularly picks the daughter up 30 mins late and that "SometimesI have to tell her to wait an hour or so until I get my work done". So yeah - negligent parent.
Ah, that changes stuff. Because I don't necessarily agree with RSlash's "why did you get angry?" comment... he clearly doesn't have teenagers yet. I've gotten angry at my kids when they did something stupid to themselves -- it's anger borne of concern, but it's still anger. So the "anger" from the parent isn't unjustified when your kid would be sitting outside freezing for several hours instead of calling you. That said, it's clear here that the kid DID have reason to not trust OP to get them. And that changes the story. If OP was always on time picking them up (or let's go with "rarely late"... lateness happens sometimes). Then the OP has the right to get irritated/mad (from a caring place). But it sounds like they're often late, in which case the kid was right to "not bother", which makes OP TA. Also, what parent who picks up the kids doesn't know their kid's schedule? My wife picks up the kids about 75% of the time, but even then, I know my kids' schedules, in case something comes up (like if my wife has a meeting that stops her from getting them).
Haven't seen the update myself, but I'd be willing to bet that OP also berates the daughter if she leaves on her own. No 17-year-old would sit in the cold for that long instead of taking a bus, uber, or get a lift from a friend unless the punishment she'll get for leaving is worse than two hours freezing.
@@cmlemmus494 in a reply to someone’s question, it was revealed that the daughter doesn’t have the keys to the house. She’ll end up having to be outside anyways.
As a dude who was consistently picked up late by my parents, I'd say it was more of a point of emphasis for the girl. I remember I'd always need to get picked up at 4:30 when my practice ended after school, but my dad in particular would always be 30 minutes late. It sucked because all the other kids were gone and the coach would stick around specifically for me and tell me to tell my parents to come on time. It's embarrassing and for no reason either. It's not like my parents had jobs that ended that late, no. They would literally just be sitting at home and LEAVING at 4:30 instead of getting to the school at 4:30. And I didn't have a phone in high school, so if they forgot, I'd be doomed. At some point I was tempted to just walk the 10-15 miles home on my own when they came a whole hour later. But then I got the trick down. Just tell my parents that practice ends an hour earlier, that way they make it on time. And if they been sitting in the parking lot for too long, just tell them practice ran late. That's how I handled that
Last story: as a mom (though mine is only 6y/o) my first question was "why did OP's daughter think they wouldn't come?" I am betting there is a history of the daughter needing to be picked up early and OP not doing it, or berating her for needing to be picked up early, or telling her that it wasn't going to happen again. Also, how does OP not know the schedule of the school? I have a copy of my daughter's school's schedule pinned up at my desk in the office and another on my home fridge. This is fully on OP for being a bad parent. Addendum: found the post. OP regularly picks their daughter up 30 minutes late and sometimes makes them wait as much as an hour to pick them up so they can finish work. Every comment they make in response is filled with either blaming their daughter or being defensive.
I was a kid who was left till school closed a few times and at some point I just stopped caring and expected them to be late. My parents weren’t mean but apologized and were just stuck at work. Op is just a dick. He should know when his kid is off school and if he is awful enough gh to make her afraid of calling that is a problem.
Same it seemed weird that she would have just randomly given that excuse so it leads me to believe that there's a history of OP getting pissed at the daughter if she has to be picked up early
@@czarinajohnson6074 I would guess the she probably doesn't have the funds to get an Uber/Lift/taxi and if she had she likely would have gotten in trouble for wasting the money. Her plan was quite simply to wait and not get in trouble. Instead she waited patiently and got called an idiot by OP. I feel like this was a "damned if you do damned if you don't" situation.
Technically, in the first story, they cost the brother-in-law more because he used those for work. This means it pushes projects back. It means that he can't take on more projects. So that 70 grand is actually way more.
And then imagine the extra insult to the injury that in 10 years, a full decade, none of them have even considered a payment plan or anything. They just assumed that 'no lawsuit means no guilt'. And on top of that, the insurance money they likely got was probably for the things they stole, not the truck. Their insurance would not pay for the truck because it was used to haul a load outside its capability. That or they lied to the insurance company. So that family is a bunch of criminals who are smug they got away with it.
They defiantly sound like the type who expected hand outs from BIL before the incident... If they didn't do what they did and gave BIL a "get out of financially supporting us" card they would have abused the fact that they are "better off" more then OP asking now 10 years later... He did lose $70,000 to them but they lost the right to ask for anything from BIL now and the OP needs to understand that BIL could have turned their lives upside down because of this but took the loss instead! They got insurance money for their truck and used it ALL on a new one for the dad but BIL wouldn't be able to make an insurance clam without filing charges of theft or filing fraudulently because when it comes to insurance of a big business they have strict rules they have to follow like who can use the insured items. (which is probably why he said "NO") He most likely couldn't get any money from insurance so he had to eat that loss all on his own with his in-laws getting away with no repercussions and a new truck...
1 story: The brother in law didn’t just lose the equipment and trailer, he loss jobs which in turn took profits from his family. Imagine him loosing customers because he doesn’t have the skid loader and trailer to complete the jobs he had lined up before the accident.
Indeed, they should have chipped in to compensate for the damage first instead. It's not just about money, as he clearly said no when asked and his anwer to the question wasn't honored.
EXACTLY what I was going to say. When it comes to running a business, your machinery working is pivotal on performance and meeting contractual obligations! He probably had one skid loader assigned to one of 3 or 4 job sites, that now, can't be done because they are short one. If I were the BIL, I'd have taken them to court to force the repayment. OP's family is lucky he didn't do that and just settled on isolating away from the family instead. BIL did them a favor in that regard, frankly.
They are lucky the brother-in-law didn't take it to court. Judge would also look into loss of finances because of that accident. That 70 grand would be probably over 100 grand.
That gay son story, it probably could be handled better, but to me it sounds like OP was being supportive, but got caught off guard by the son pretending something was secret that everyone knew.
Also OP didn’t out him to his dad, sounds like he’d already figured it out as well Yeah she handled it poorly in that moment, and he was probably thrown off which is where the comment came from, but she didn’t out him (since he didn’t tell her, and she just figured it out)
@@tyrannapusandfriends6254 yeah that confused me as well. OP didn't out anyone. figuring out something obvious is not outing. If she went and told others, it would be that, but she kept it to herself.
Story 1: Man, these kinds of stories hit me hard. I had a close family member steal about 10K from me once. He was actually remorseful, and though he couldn't pay me back right away, he began garnishing his wages to make up for it. I was still pissed at the time and filed a police report. Over the next year and a half, while he paid me back monthly, we managed to build our relationship back up, and I ended up dropping the charges (the police move super slow, he hadn't even been served yet). My point is, he had to work, both to pay me back financially and to rebuild what we had emotionally. He didn't get an easy pass because he's "family." Our relationship is back to what it was, for the most part, with one caveat: He never, ever gets so much as a single penny loaned to him from me.
exactly 💯 so let's say $70,000 : 10 years : 12 months = $583,33/month, without interest. and I'm sure the brother in law will not ask for the interest. only $583,33/month, $19,5/day, that's how much they need to pay their debt. but NOOooo... they choose to be a douchebag.
As a guy who tried to hide my relationship with my boyfriend for a while, I actually preferred my parents approaching it with humor. That's my personal experience though, and since I was already out before this, it could make my perspective irrelevant
I think your perspective is relevant and could pertain to many others in your situation. My best friend's son, on the other hand, took almost three years to come out even though his parents are liberal and openly supportive of all human rights. He has since said that he knew his parents would love him, and he knew that they probably knew, he just wasn't ready to share. But that was his journey, be well in yours!
I am straight but if I put myself in OPs shoes I think it's more of him being embarrassed and shocked then actually hurt I think he just didn't processed the emotions and it came out as anger and maybe now it's awkward... I know I am assuming too many things but... I think that's a possibility
It depends on the parents as well. If your parents have really old opions on life it could be hard to come out. It was the case for me, my mother doesn't really care but my father thought I was jocking. It doesn't bother him now and we all laugh about this situation now but I think it's better that a strict family is open to dicuss those things in a jockly way than a strict and unloving way. Also it would be a bit funny and cute to see your giga chad alpha boy being sweet, loving and caring toward the love of his life. He doesn't need to hide it anymore, he could love freely
My daughter has had a very close friend since sixth grade and they’re now 18 and 19 respectively. He moved five years ago to another state with his family of six or seven. Anyways, I absolutely adored this young boy who has grown up into a wonderful young man. Honestly, he’s always been my favorite among her close friends. I think he came out in the summer when he had been in seventh and going into eighth. Poor thing has been so nervous and worried when my husband and I knew all along. The both of us accepted him with open arms as well and for sure our daughter too. However, he’s never come out to his religious parents. To me, I’ve always been baffled that his parents seem to have been in denial and it saddens me to know that both of his parents would reject him from his close knit brothers and sisters along with their church. As a parent, it is so difficult for me to even try to comprehend these parents who cut off their children simply due to their preference in the same gender. I know I love my daughter far too much to throw her out just because she is interested in girls rather than boys. I just couldn’t do it. I think it would destroy me and my life I did. Back to our young man. He still hasn’t told his parents, and I really don’t think he ever will, which is his choice, and one I do tend to agree with. He now has his his own place that he rents, a full-time job that he enjoys, and some pretty great friends of what I’ve been told. I always knew he’d make good friends because he himself is a good friend too. I wish him nothing but the very best with a nice, smooth road to travel.
In story 3 the sister absolutely has a point. Like op said her and her fiance are madly in love and of course they are they have only dated for 6 months. They are still in the "honey moon" period where they are madly in love and "walking on rainbows" but that change after a year or so and then you know if you are compatible or not. If they marry now it might come as an expensive misstake after a while
Absolutely anybody who says getting married is so that in the eyes of the law they recognize you as soulmates is way too immature to be getting married. Legal contracts don't care if you're soul mates or not. They don't even care if you're in love or not or even like each other. All they care about are you two consenting adults of marrying age. That's it.
Yes, 6 months is almost certainly too soon to get engaged. Hope they have a lengthy engagement. BUT relationships fail after years together so time spent isn't a guarantee either.
Have known couples married many years after dating for a short time first. The red flags are the abruptness of OP's decisions: getting married, cutting her sister from her wedding, refusing to talk. It sounds like someone who's immature and volatile.
I'm so glad RSlash looked up the price for the first story. That really did change the story a whole lot. Like OP and the family were AH before, but it like skyrocketed once I learned the price.
price is irrelevant, firstly they should have honered his answer, secondly as they didn't they should have made an efford to compensate for the financial losses. They should be gratefull the BIL didn't press charges and they didn't end up in jail for stealing. If they can chip in for a cruise, they could have chipped in 10 years before that to start paying for the financial loss. Even if they just compensated 10% of the loss, by the shown effort of trying to compensate at least the BIL may have had an entire different attitude already. Al sins can be forgiven, but not unconditionally. Regret, repent and satisfactory compensation preceed forgiving.
@BlacksmithTWD I mean more so it matters because of how lucky they got off with BIL. All he did was cut them off. He should have sued them and they should have paid him back. I'm not saying they were nice people before I found out the price. I meant it really shows just how stupid and entitled they are. They were the AHs for ignoring the BIL and than not paying him back any money for the damage they did.
@@BlacksmithTWD Agreed, price is totally irrelevant, as is the inability of the family to pay for it and the ability of the BIL to absorb the cost. The fact is they destroyed BIL's property and never paid him back for it for 10 years. Then they have the audacity to ask him for money so their parents can go on a cruise. Bunch of entitled A-holes.
I agree with the sister in the third story honestly. It seems incredibly impulsive to marry somebody after 6 months. Especially considering OP gets defensive when her sister brings up her very reasonable concern... gives me the impression she isn't really thinking clearly and just acting on her emotions.
I keep thinking the same. I’m seeing a lot of people talking about people 30, 60 years ago marrying after a few months and being happily married for xx years but things are definitely different but it’s not like you can’t get married later? Being married can also be a strain of “you’re married now, you have to suck it up and deal with it” when there’s an issue. Just because it seems like someone is quick to marry doesn’t mean they’ll be quick to divorce someone and some people can end up taking advantage of that.
I think it depends on the individuals involved in the relationship. If they are both ready to accept what it means to be married and what not. While not super common in the United States it happens a lot. I married my wife after knowing her for 7 months. Granted we were both looking for a permanent relationship.
You're kidding, right Ahmad? The sister never supported the relationship, she just pretended to because she was obviously thinking that it wouldn't last. Her comment to OP that OP would find someone else that she "loves more" was disrespectful at best. It's like the sister is telling OP that she doesn't know what love feels like or that OP's feelings aren't valid. It'd be one thing if she was encouraging OP to hold off on getting married to quickly, but no, she's trying to tell OP to find someone else. There is context to the story that isn't read in the video, as they are comment that OP left in response to questions people had. The marriage isn't from being impatient but rather logistical reasons. She's met his friends and family (parents, siblings, cousins), and they even ran into his ex gf one time and the ex gf was nice and respectful. Mind you, maybe she will change her mind a few years down the road, but all this aside, the question was if OP would be TA for not inviting her sister. IMO, a wedding should consist of those who support the relationship, and if OP's sister isn't going to be supportive of it, then there's no reason to invite her.
i came out in the same way as the 4th story. my parents knew, and just asked me. i dont see why this kid is so upset. its a dream to be able to just say yes and not have to jump through hoops or worry about homophobia with some parents. this kid is super lucky and so am i.
I'm straight and an ally if I ever have kids and one is obviously gay that's pretty much how I'll handle it. If they feel they need to "come out" to me I'd feel like a failure.
Yeah, I'm not gay but thinking about it I couldn't imagine a better scenario. I don't imagine coming out is ever an easy experience but to have your parents already know and be so accepting they invite your boyfriend on a family trip seems ideal. Unless he wanted drama of course, in which case screw that guy.
"Outing my Son" deserves ZERO bad guys. RSlash's advice is simply not how you would expect any other parent to go about things. If you had a hetero son and you found out he was becoming active with girls OF COURSE you would insert yourself into that situation even if they were embarrassed about it
Story 3 has soooo many red flags. Not only is 6 months real short for a relationship, the fact that the fiancé is so ready to isolate her from her family is alarming. I know a 24-30 age gap isn’t huge, but there’s a lot of growth a person goes through in those years, and a mature 30 year old would say “she’s just concerned for you, she’s your sister..” not just ”yep cut her out”. It’s just a huge red flag since one of the first things narcissists and abusers do is isolate their victims.
6 months isn't really that short. Also, we have no idea what the relationship between the family members is like or how the conversation went. I wouldn't say that letting her manage her own guest list is really a red flag. Standing up for her sister might have been a reasonable thing to do, but I also think it's fine to trust and support your fiancee to open their own wedding
Agree there are red flags - I think people need at least a couple of years to get to know each other before marrying - but the sister made a huge mistake saying she 'didn't support' OP. At most, the sister should have voiced her concern about rushing into a marriage, but once OP made it clear they were going ahead, the sister should have buttoned her lip and stood by to help OP if things went sideways.
Not even that, it's "Pay for this cruise that you don't even get to go on... also FUCK YOU and your job.. you're never seeing a dime of money from us."
7:29 Second story: the moment they threw her out. INSTANT NTA. They knew she couldn’t support herself in that moment but oh “because she CHOOSE her lifestyle” she needed to sleep in the bed she made! Give me a break, they made their bed and they can sleep in it.
I laughed at my sister when she tried to convince me that her boyfriend was just a friend. It was very obvious. The son could not hide it and cannot be angry that they figured it out. You can only pretend that something isn't happening for so long.
For the outing story… kind of have a similar story to tell. I am ace, but before last year didn’t even know it was a label. My parents were extremely religious, so once I found out I was ace, I planned on staying in the closet forever. When asked about relationships and sex and whatnot, I always responded kind of grossed out and negatively. One day, I was doing the dishes and my mom was talking to my aunt. Then someone mentioned potential partners and mom is just like, ‘nah she’s asexual so her dating pool is probably really small.’ I paused, shocked, and then slowly continued doing the dishes. My dad still doesn’t know (like I said - closet to grave (and they separated a year ago), but mom wasn’t necessarily the jerk for outing me the way she did. I think she just wanted to tell me it was fine and she could still make fun of and embarrass me anyway (the way moms always do).
Story 1: YTA be lucky they didn't sue you and you're not in jail. What an ungrateful entitled person and thief. Doesn't matter how long ago or "If he can take it" you're the jerk and he has right to have a grudge against you.
They stole one quarter of BILs business, regarding the loader and trailer, 70k is only the value of the broken items, if he had sued them he could have sued for lost revenue, which would make it probably to about 200k or more, depending on how many contracts he could have covered with the fourth skit loader...
I don’t think OP was involved in the theft of the skid loader and dump trailer, just their dad and brother, so I don’t think they’d also be arrested- But you’re absolutely right, I’d rather just deal with this guy hating me over being sued and imprisoned
@@frootsnacc6790 But OP's defense of his family to the BIL does make them TAH. Those who approve of what their family does, even if they didn't do those things themselves, are just as guilty.
Bruh I about crapped my pants when I heard the first paragraph of story 3. I’m about OP’s age, a year younger actually, and even I can see clear as day why her sister isn’t being “supportive”. Girl, you haven’t even known this man for the length of an average K-12 school year AND you got engaged before you’d even made it half a year into the relationship?? Age gap aside, this relationship is moving WAY too fast! Has OP and her fiancé even tried living with each other under the same room yet? Because you can think someone is just gods gift to the world all you want, but when you have to actually live with them day I’m and day out, that assumption can change pretty damn fast depending on their respective lifestyles. Have they discussed their future plans, finances, and if they want kids or not? For OP’s sake, she and her fiancé need to cool their jets for a bit, they both need time to see if this relationship is right for either of them. If OP gets married now, I don’t see the marriage lasting even a full year.
They're still in the honeymoon phase. Everyone is on their BEST behavior. In the Reddit thread people were commenting on the boyfriend's support for cutting ties with the sister. The fact that OP can't even stand to hear another opinion shows that she NEEDS to hear another opinion. I'm not saying it isn't a good relationship, that they won't work out or anything, but it ventures into a toxic echo chamber when you won't even let opposing viewpoints in. Not good.
RIGHT! It is hilarious! Then you have the OP who took the time to write everything out while trying to downplay their wrongdoings and are still seen for their BS! It is great! LOL
Final story: The anger was insecurity and fear that she'd look like a horrible parent (likely because she is). My mother was exactly like this and she has NPD. Its a fear of "now everyone who saw you sitting out here knows I'm a bad parent and that's your fault".
Last story: There is DEFINITELY a lot of information being left out here. No surprise that OP's daughter doesn't call him for things like this when his immediate response is to throw a fit and call her names. And coming from a toxic family, I highly doubt that the insults are the extent of this
I think the main thing people are missing from the last story is that the daughter told her parent the ‘excuse’ of “I didn't think you'd come”. That thought does not come from a place where she knows her parent will show up when she needs him. Her parent also directing the anger at her does not help his case either. The post seems to give bare bones information too. Really we need an update to this with more information or a post from the daughters side. Edit: noticed that the op did not specify whether they are a mom or dad. Username could imply dad but still. Edit 2 for research into the post: OP made multiple comments about how they pick their kid up anywhere from 30 minutes after school lets out to a full hour after. Not for clubs, because OP gets UPSET when they have to leave work early and their kid must know that they don't like to do this. Their 17-year-old also does not have keys to their home and does not leave the house. By the by, schools in the US have to notify parents of early dismissal if it is planned or unplanned and if the parent picks their daughter up every day they should know that it is an early dismissal day if it was planned. It would have been on the school calendar. Either OP missed the call/text from the school and is blaming the kid by saying it's her responsibility to tell them or, OP knew and put work before the safety and security of their own kid.
I unfortunately had a similar relationship with both my parents... They would lash out, call me everything in the book, and even slapped me in the face a few times among other things. The ironic part is that when I started withdrawing, not speaking up about pain or cramps or being sick or needing something or whatever, when they found out my dad would rage about how I was being " ridiculous, exaggerated, attention seeking and/or manipulative." I can see where the daughter is coming from, OP please reevaluate your relationship before you lose your kid forever.
@@tiny436 Thank you friend. I'm mostly fine now, but the fact is that even though some part of me knew what was happening at home was bad, I didn't realize just how bad it was until I had a frame of reference. It took me until I met my partner and saw how their family operated, how everyone laughed at Christmas and asked for hugs and generally enjoyed each other's company to fully realize how much I was missing. It made me really stop trying to make my own family work, and I almost guarantee that when OP's daughter finds her place, finds people (whether a new family or friends) that fill that deficiency, she's going to be absolutely done with her dad/mom. When you find yourself essentially adopted by people who actually like you the reality of what's going on at home sinks in hard, and why would OP's daughter keep going back to him when the contrast is made quite clear? OP is on borrowed time to fix this before his daughter finds something much better and never talks to him again.
my parents aren't like that but they can yell if they're mad. whenever there's an early dismissal or i have to be picked up, my school always called my parents and they'll wait outside for my van/bus to come and get me off.
My dad picked me up late all throughout high school, usually about an hour. The school would be closed, I had a creepy senior asking for my number as a freshman (I'm a girl and have perpetual babyface that draws all the creeps), and so naturally my dad continued to say I'd be fine and not fuss over it. Eventually my grandmother was the one to get me a phone because my dad said if I needed to call someone I could borrow a phone... You know, in front of a school that closes 30 minutes after closing. I'd sit behind the trees hoping no one walking or driving by would see me. Sorry for the rant, the daughter's response brought back old memories. I hope she has someone looking out for her. I'm 25 now. You don't forget what happened over ten years ago, you just don't actively think about it.
Story 3: honestly, I'd recommend waiting it out a little more than six months, passion or not. You shouldn't rush big things. But at the end of the day it's op choice. I'd still invite her, because it's a pretty mild difference, not like your sister hates him or wants to disown you. Unnecessarily nuclear option
I'd argue they should wait because of the passion. Being so in love so fast can lead to people overlooking flaws that after a longer time start to become a big deal
As someone who made that mistake and is now going through a messy divorce after coming out as a lesbian 8 years after marrying a man, yeah. Waiting is a lot smarter (and cheaper! My divorce is going to cost me $300 and my marriage was just the cost of the license, which was $50). She's young. And while girls DO mature quickly, 24 is still too young to know what you'll want in 5 years. Especially with someone you've only dated for 6 months (like wtf? Give it a year and time for the honeymoon phase to pass first).
And let's be real honest. Anybody who thinks that a marriage license means that the law recognizes you as soulmates is not mature enough to be married. Silliest little Disney girl fantasy I've ever heard. A marriage in the legal sense is so the law knows your assets are joint. Your debt is joint, and you have to file taxes jointly. That's it. They don't care if you're in love or your soulmate or even if you like each other. All the court cares about is you of legal marrying age, and do you willingly knowingly consent to being married. That's it. There's nothing romantic about marriage in the legal sense. And anyone who thinks that that's what a marriage license is that the government knows it that's your soulmate you're too young to get married. You do not have the life experience to understand how the real world works if that's what you think.
I got engaged to my wife after dating her for only 3 months! Extreme, I know, but as has been said, when you know, you know. Having said that, the compromise was a long (6 year) engagement mainly because we couldn't afford a wedding for a long time. We're celebrating our 20 year anniversary this year!
"Well you see your Honor, I'm not rich so I don't think I should have to pay for the speeding ticket or fine for drunk driving!" Yeah dude, not how things work. Maybe if you're not rich you shouldn't steal peoples expensive equipment and wreck it.
Story 1: Even if they could never afford 70K they could have set up some sort of repayment plan to at least say "hey, we fucked up and we're going to try and make it right". Like even if it was nominal, it signals taking responsibility and probably would've gone a long way to emotionally repairing the rift. But no, they were fine with stealing his stuff and then didn't care to repair anything to the point of BIL not being involved with the family.
The reason that I don't lend stuff out is because most people don't give a shit about taking care of the item. I rent a house and the landlord comes round to do work. He stated that when I move out he can have another tenant move in the next day, as he has never seen someone take such care during a tenancy.
Story 3: I agree with the sister. This marriage won’t last long. OP is too impulsive for it to be one of those rare occasions. Even then, in most of those rare occasions, the couple were already just friends for a long time. These two barely know each other. If they do stay married, it’ll be because they don’t want to go through the process of divorce. Edit: THE AGE GAP! THE READINESS TO ISOLATE OP! OP. RUN, DON’T WALK, TO THE NEAREST EXIT.
Not to mention anybody who thinks that getting married is so that you're legally recognized as soulmates is two immature to make the legal commitment to get married. Marriage in a legal sense has nothing to do with love. I'm not trying to be cynical. I'm not trying to be a butthole. But marriage license and the people issuing them only care about a few things. Are you who you say you are? Are you the age to consent to getting married. That's it. They don't care if you're madly in love or if you hate each other. That is not a prerequisite to getting a marriage license.
I met my husband in 2002. We went from "nice to meet you" to "how about going out someplace?" to "I love you" to "will you marry me?" In about a month. When you know, you know. In four days we will be married twenty-one years.
@@Scottsteaux63 Good for you. But abusive partners tend to push for the quick marriage to trap their victims. It's normal to be cautious and worried when things escalate this quickly.
@@Scottsteaux63yeah that's wonderful that your marriage worked out like that. Like I'm so happy for you. But your marriage and your example is just that it's yours. It's not representational of most people's experience. And the fact of the matter is I have to agree with the above commenter a lot of times. Abusive partners especially with young girls push them to make big commitments like marriages. She hasn't known this person long enough to know if their abusive or not. The reality is that a lot of abusers will push their victim to making big commitments cuz it's harder to leave once you're married. As opposed to just dating. And I guarantee you if she went through with this marriage and he is abusive. She's pregnant. Because then it's even harder for her to leave him. So like I said, your story is a beautiful fairy tale and I'm so glad that you had that experience. But that's not the reality for most people. Most people have the abusive experience when they rush into these marriages or just a disaster of a relationship. Especially someone who's so immature they think a marriage in the legal sense is about the law recognizing their soulmates.
I love the way OPs parents try to turn it around that she's the bad person for this. She was a child~THEIR CHILD~and alone. They are grown adults that have each other. Maybe they should've given her the love and compassion she deserved when she came out and they'd have a loving compassionate daughter willing to help them.
As a gay person it should be our dream to reach a point where we don’t have to “come out” a lot of ppl have a lot of traumatic situations surrounding coming out as seen from the earlier coming out video and this kid is mad because he’s supportive parents knew the obvious. We should strive for this.
Ugh these homophobic people piss me of so much my parents totally accepted the fact that I am bi and they support me 100% it’s because of homophobic people that society still sucks in 2023
@@fool4343 yeah i feel is that but really is hard judging op, it really just feel they waited for the inevitable talk since they realized but enough time happened that maybe they just started thinking of it as entablished info
I think it was the laughing at him when he was trying to say he was straight. Teenagers are often emotional and insecure. If OP didn’t laugh and had a more serious conversation (not lecture, just not laughing at her son…) it probably would have gone over way better. Also, hard to tell if he’s scared on his BF’s behalf. But I imagine if parents take him to dinner and talk and don’t “make fun of him” (that’s what being laughed at feels like) for being so oBvIoUs then it will probably patch things up. And they can inquire on how much the other boy’s parents need to know vs not.
I've dealt with this myself. When I had to flee from my (former) parents, I lost thousands in tools, equipment, and collectibles. Not to mention the money they stole from my paychecks for about 5 months or so. I was told by everyone to 'just get over it, it's not that big of a deal'. There was grim satisfaction in irony when one of the people who told me to get over it lost $5,000 from theft. To this day he isn't over it.
@@sylythryllsixxus3809 WTF! So even when they had the exact same thing happen to them it is somehow "different" because you personally know who stole from you? I detest these "but they are faaaamily" people who downplay the abusive things family can do to you just because you had a relationship once upon a time... Hypocrisy at its finest! Sorry to hear that happened to you and that some of the people in your life are super delusional...
"They couldn't pay back my brother in law because he wanted almost 70,000 dollars" They can use whatever audacity they had stealing your brother in laws stuff to get that amount
Story 1 - the brother and dad are exceedingly lucky that the BIL didn't press charges for theft. I would have pressed charges immediately upon finding out that the thieves had zero intention on righting the wrong.
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 Actually, with that one, I get the feeling she was raised to be this family pleaser whom they can manipulate because she's a girl, as this type of sexism in toxic families isn't really new, and the BIL was trying to teach her to stand up her herself and it seems like when the mess took place, she wasn't quite independent yet and she was in her home alone, so of course her family would take this advantage and see this as their chance to get what they want. So, instead, I'd actually put in that this family had raise what I assume is the only daughter into being their puppet that they can control.
I'm gay and I would be incredibly relieved to hear my mom laughing at my relationship over being angry about it. This kid is mad because his mom is being supportive? WHY?
Brat. Sometimes I think most gay or trans people care more about the theatrics than actually having a support system when they come out. I would have loved for my mom to laugh and joke with me about it.
Yeah, I disagree with RSlash on this one. Like if it were a straight son with his girlfriend and the Mum asked a similar question and teased him, no one would say it's none of her business. It's a teenager in his 1st relationship - that's what parents do
Yeah lol that dudes probably just thinking that he’ll immediately get attacked or something, I’d be happy honestly that they didn’t mind and already knew
@@rhiannonmackenzie2527 Maybe because being straight doesnt get you disowned and bullied?? The amount of people looking at this as "lets make gay normal by ignoring homophobia" is absolutely appalling.
3rd story: I feel like the sister's concerns are justified, BUT I think she's going about it in a bit of an aggressive way to OP. Overall I think OP is moving quite fast for a 6 month relationship and their sister is rightfully worried. The two of them really sound like they do need a talking to with a calmer mindset and in a calm environment.
Also, absolutely anybody who thinks that getting married is about the law, recognizing that your soulmates is not mature enough to be making that commitment to anyone. The law doesn't care if your in love. Two people that absolutely hate each other as long as they meet the requirements for being married in most places to be a certain age and not to be previously married. They will give you a marriage license. Whether or not you're in love is not relevant. As far as the laws concerned.
16:09 I'm a 25 year old guy with a Mom like that. Ever since I was a kid, Mom had always been overprotective towards me. Any kind of injury I receive, be it a small papercut, she freaks the fuck out and yells at me first! Then brings an excessive amount of first-aid. To this day, whenever I get a cut, the first thing that comes to my mind is my Mom's yelling face! Does that mean she's abusive? Heck no! I'd even go on to say bring in the best parents on the planet and my parents would still be better! That's just how she is. A quirk of her, I may say. I think this Dad is the same.
Last story: if this situation had happened to me, where i stayed out in the cold for 2 hours instead of calling my dad right away because i thought for some reason he wouldn't come pick me up (which he would, because he's a good dad, i'm just saying if i perceived that), yeah he might be a little angry that I didn't call him because he doesn't want me to freeze to death, but then he would apologize and we'd have a talk about why i thought he wouldn't pick me up. He'd do the right thing and apologize for ever giving the impression that he would do that. That's how a *real* dad would handle it.
The last story reads like the daughter's afraid of inconveniencing her father. It has r/raisedbynarcissists vibes all over it. Basically, some parents (including my own) raise their kids to try to predict their mercurial moods, because they get angry, yell and scream for minor issues, and take out all their anger and stress on their kids. It's disgusting, and it's unfortunately all too common. The daughters actions are a sign of years of living in an abusive home.
Story 2: They have a lot of nerve to think that someone they threw out would just be okay with helping them. That is karma, and you gotta accept that, OP's parents
Yeah, the parents are delusional. 😆😆 I haven't heard from you in OVER A DECADE ...since you drop kicked my from your house at 18.... and now you turn up expecting help? Somebody should drug test her parents. LOL
i'm pansexual (i'm attracted to any gender) but i'm also wlw (woman loving woman) and if i had op's parents then there would be a post on r/prorevenge in days
4th story: guy wasn’t even in the closet to come out at that point. Sure, the mom didn’t help by laughing and putting him on the defensive, but if he ain’t acting like it’s a secret, he shouldn’t be surprised when people just acknowledge it.
Here's a lil fun factor to think about. It's not the "coming out" as gay thing that matters here. It's that the person is uncomfortable sharing something with their parents. As a teen, you will do things and want things you don't want to share with your parents period. No matter how kind and supportive they are. Even as an adult you will have things that are "YOURS" to induldge on and you don't want to share it with others. It's a human trait. And before you go into a dark place... remember how the stereotypical dad has secret projects in their garage they do not share with others? That's the behaviour shown here. What was the dad building? Maybe a car, maybe a model of something. But the thing is... it's fully theirs and their world. Something to retreat into. The reason they don't wanna share it with others? - Embarrasment - Having others involved with it while you just want it to be your thing. - Fearing interference might ruin it. - Solitude Moments - Something to just call your own. - Not ready to share it with others. Even in gaming, have you played such a good game, but don't wanna share or play it with others cause they will start being newbies and halt your own progress and enjoyment of the game, cause they wanna play with you and get angry when you don't? Instantly you will sound like a selfish jerk... that interaction you want to avoid... so you just never share it. That kinda thought process is behind story 4.
@@kotlolish the problem with your example is that there wasn’t any hint he wanted privacy. He was doing these things in front of his parents. There was no attempt of subtlety of boundary setting, besides occasionally shutting a door Let’s use your examples: someone is building a car, but instead of working in their garage, they choose to work on it in their front driveway, or where they park in the street. Do they have any right to be upset about a neighbor merely bringing it up after seeing it progress for months? They had no idea the car was a secret since it was done out in the open. Or video games. This would be like if someone played one video game all the time, and only spoke about it. So, a friend decides to give them a shirt with art of the game, only for them to act like they don’t like the game. The friend isn’t out of line for thinking it would be a good idea, since he was so open about it normally. Sure, if the parent started heavily questioning him, you’d have a point. But this was a scenario where she mentioned the basic idea without details, and then refuted obviously attempts to cover it up in post.
@@PrimeCypher totaly agree with you. Yes, it's probably emberessing for him because he very badly tried to hide his relation. But that's very normal. Are Parents now not allowed to say "your boy-/girlfriend" until they officially say it? In this story nobody digged where they shoudn't. As you said it was a secret hidden in plain sight
With the "dating my song” one, I'm gay. So weirdly enough this is kinda what happened to me and my best friend. We both were country boys and I was terrified to tell him I was gay. Then one day while we were on a walk he just blurts it out. "Hey I know you're gay and I don't care". In that situation specifically it was one of those things that cemented our friendship forever. However in a different context and with family I can see that going a different way for sure.
OMG! That first story was infuriating! Dabney, I'm with you, they are just out of their minds! Pay first and then go anywhere, the title should have been AITA for ignoring we owe 70000 to my BIL for 10 years and not care about it?
“A little wedgie thing” had me almost falling out of my chair from laughing so hard. Idk why that was so amusing to me. I’m not even in construction and had to google it myself.
For story 3, I think that it’s a nobody sucks here, they all have valid reasons for how they’ve reacted. My parents got married after dating for six months, and they’ve been together almost 17 years. But I can see where the sisters coming from bc it’s uncommon to see that work out, especially when you’re young.
There is so much left unsaid in that last story. There is a lack of trust on the daughter’s part in regards to her dad. Maybe he’s quick to anger, maybe he’s verbally or emotionally abusive or maybe he’s just bad at keeping promises. Whatever it is, daughter has learned to not to go to her father when in need. By her own actions she would rather be cold. OP left a LOT out of his AITA story.
3rd story: That relationship is a treasure trove of red flags. 6 months is the honeymoon phase, you can’t truly know a person well enough to know you’re ready to be together for the rest of your life in that time. Plus, while 24-30 isn’t gross, it’s kind of eh, like she’s still in her early 20s, go out and have fun. I feel like sooner rather than later OP is going to understand why her sister doesn’t support it. I understand that hurts but you also shouldn’t enable someone to do a questionable thing just cause you love them. Also the fiancé being like “Just cut her off” that quick, eh that feels like this is about to get abusive the second they step out of the church.
Nah Dabney OP in the closeted son story is NTA. I would have KILLED to have an interaction like that. And I think most people would too. Parents that say "Hey we know about you and your boyfriend bring him along we'd love to get to know him! We're cool with it!"? A Godsend compared to the stories you always see. I think The Son is just a bit scared OP outed him to everyone, which doesn't appear to be the case, and once he realizes that everything will be fine.
@desperate need of scotch True, they wouldn't likely be able to pay the total amount, but in many cases, the court has the power to make a liable person liquidate assets such as homes and vehicles to pay back part of what they owe as well as docking wages. Also, stealing items of that value may even carry jail time if charges were pressed.
Third story: OP is TA. She barely knows her fiancee, and the fact that Derrick is willing to support OP's estrangement from her sister is an extremely red flag. Narcissists like to isolate their victims, so OP could be walking into something dangerous. Six months is a very short time into a relationship to get married. The sister is asking valid questions, and OP's response was to get defensive and draw a line in the sand.
Plus be really honest. Anybody who thinks that getting married in the legal sense is about the law. Recognizing you as soul mates is too naive to head in her clouds and two immature to be making that kind of commitment to anyone. Your regardless of her age. Legally speaking, I'm not trying to poo poo marriage. I'm getting married this October. I love marriage. But lately speaking in the eyes of the law they don't care. If you're in love or not. You could absolutely hate each other. The law doesn't care what it cares about is are you are who you say you are. Are you of legal marriaging age. And are you married now? That's it. This story just blows my mind.
Being a contractor myself, there’s no way in hell I’d let someone scrap my equipment and get away with it, be it family or not… that’s my livelihood right there
I agree but considering how entitled OP and the other family members acted it's entirely possible the sister is a people pleaser and felt ambushed. After all she was alone and her husband was away working. Being cornered like that makes people make not so great decisions.
@@VixyGirl Yeah, I do get that feeling from OP's sister. So it's not her fault the family manipulated her to be this way and I imagine that the BIL was trying to teach her to stand up for herself, which she finally did 10 years later.
They put a SKID LOADER in an effing DUMP TRAILER??? Holy shit, my dad would kill me for even thinking of trying that! Those need special trailers to move, not even mentioning how insanely heavy they are! How the hell did they even get it IN a dump trailer?? We have a diesel Ford excursion and it was pushing THAT around when driving slow with the right trailer! It sounds like the dad and brother were driving normally or like they had a uhaul trailer, which driving like that would've taken them off the road on any turn and pushed them through an intersection at any red light! And don't get me started on how the tractor itself would've destroyed the dump trailer. I can't believe people can be that dumb and reckless!
In regards to the third story, I agree with the sister. My parents got engaged after six months of dating, but my mom called it off because she didn’t feel ready. A few years later they got back together and got married. Making sure you’re ready is super important, and it won’t ruin your relationship. Marriage is a huge commitment, and if you’re young, it might feel like a hinderance at points.
Anyone who thinks that marriage in the legal sense is about the law. Recognizing you as a soulmate is neither realistic enough has their head in the clouds too much and not mature enough if they think that. Because legally speaking soulmates not a real thing. They don't recognize it. It doesn't give you special protection under the law. As far as the law and a marriage license is concerned, they don't care if you absolutely hate each other. Most places have the same prerequisite to giving you a marriage license. Are you who you say you are? Are you of legal marriaging age? Are you married now. That's it. This girl does not sound mature make the commitment to having a sea monkeys let alone to getting married.
Here's something about "love" it takes 3 months (at least) to get to know someone and when you're physical with that person you release dopamine and it bonds very quickly. It will cause you to feel more in love than you actually are, that typically doesn't last, but for some people they make rush judgements of of it. Plus there are many conversations you should have before marrying someone because you need to make sure they're actually a good fit. I'm not saying 6 months can't work, it's just typically not a strong foundation and most relationships take more time than that.
Yeah like, sure he probably is feeling sensitive right now, but according to what the op says, it really seems that both parents just noticed and were waiting for it to just be said, son never does, is obviously dating, so parents kind of forget at some point that it wasn't an already entablished information
Second Story: I wanna say NAH too. OP doesn't have to invite her sister if she doesn't want to, it's her wedding. But also, her sister is probably saying these things out of concern rather than malice. Especially since there's an age gap, and they have only dated for 6 months. It could be a really big red flag to her sister, and is worried that OP is rushing into things. Love gives you rose colored glasses, and it may be beneficial to look at things from others perspective before committing to anything. I hope OP doesn't actually uninvite her sister, she might need her support if the relationship doesn't work out.
They should be in jail, the fact that BIL didn’t press charges makes him a saint. They could’ve set up a payment plan to make things right of money was so tight but nooooo, heaven forbid they face any real consequences for stealing. Don’t know why OP made the post if he didn’t want to listen to the judgement given. I mean, I know why, he was looking for validation, but still, to double down and take no accountability after hundreds of not thousands of people told you you were in the wrong, my goodness.
I have to strongly disagree with rSlash on the coming out video. If the situation had been him having a girlfriend that was obvious and his parents had said hey do you want to bring your girlfriend along? There would’ve been no problem even if he tried to deny it, and they laughed a little bit at him, denying an obvious relationship, I also feel like observing some thing that is seen is not an invasion of his privacy or any sort of. I don’t even know what the word is I don’t feel like it is a negative thing in anyway, I think the OP in that story, deserves zero out of five.
First story: People usually call those Bobcats, even though Bobcat is the name of one of many companies that builds them. Sorta like calling facial tissues kleenex or action cameras "Go Pros"
Story 4: The son is likely butthurt that his attempt at stealthing his relationship was completely obvious. Yes it is his fully right to come out when he is most comfortable, but I am guessing that his actions were so obvious that OP was legitimately surprised when her son tried to deny it. Also the laughing may not have been totally appropriate but when someone says something that you know is obviously a lie, you are allowed to respond with humor at the fact that it is so unlikely to be true
I feel like we should start teaching it at kindergarten level that marriage is a LEGAL CONTRACT. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone what matters is if you are both suitable to enter a legal contract with each other . Love is nice and a bonus but it’s just that a bonus . The essence of a marriage is the legal contract you are entering .
But this legal contract will prove to everyone that they're soul mates! It's right there in section 4, subsection C. The soulmates clause. How can you disregard that, you monster!!?
The bad thing is that there's 3 types of relationships The good one The one that doesn't realize marriage is a legal contract The one that *knows* that marriage is a legal contract...
The rate of divorce is extremely high among people who get married before 1 year of dating, so I'd definitely say the sister was in the right. OP is incredibly immature to get married that quickly
Gay son story: It's not her business, but he's making it pretty obvious that he's gay. He is making it her business if he's being cutesey with him in front of his mom. Maybe that's sort of his way to silently tell her he's gay?
@@mariposa9506 Oh yeah I agree! I was trying to say that it doesn’t make sense to say it’s not her business when her son is a minor and he’s making it obvious that he’s gay. I should have worded it better lol.
@@VixyGirlNot sure your house rules growing up, but in my parents house and now in my house the parents have a say in what age you start dating, meeting and approving a boyfriend or girlfriend before letting your child go out with them, communicating to your child about how to be safe and explaining them your own principles about when to have sex, and monitoring your relationship behaviour to ensure a healthy balance in your life. It's your right to not allow your minor child to have sex in your house. It's your right and responsibility not to let couples sleep together as minors. My teen sons friends sleep over, his girlfriends do not. It's one of many responsibilities loving parents have to create healthy boundaries for their children. To not do so is neglect.
the gay dude story is funny he wants it to be dramatic like in the movies but can't because his family is supportive, WTF you have the best case scenario so take what you get
@@nanakwame1122 i think they are making here outing as "to talk about it" because otherways i don't know how anybody is being it, like is because the parents talked about it between themselves or op talked about it to the son himself
Story 4: as a closeted bi myself, I know my familly wouldn't be supportive of me if I told them I like guys, but not just guys.. I wish my parents would be so lighthearted like that and just randomly said to me 'they already know and they don't care', that's basically what OP meant by their actions.. It's not like they went and outed their son to the entire family or something, it was between the two of them, but also OP's kid is entitled to feel however he feels, it's his life. I believe is a NAH situation.
Story where OP’s mom and dad abandoned her : your impression of the BEEPS that are OP’s parents is AWESOME Rslash!!! Hit the nail on the head with that 👍😂
Last story: OP said he was angry, but he never said he was angry at his daughter. Granted he inappropriately took it out on her, but he was probably angry at the school for abandoning her.
That seems like a correct assessment, he probably got angry because the daughter put herself on unnecesary danger, she could have been kidnapped a no one would have known until the dad went for her and she weren't anywhere to be found. That's a pretty good reason to be angry at your own children's stupidity.
Either OP is actually abusive... or the daughter just didn't think to call and then had to invent a lie on the spot to not look like an idiot, which failed. We won't know for sure
@@DoomedMarine666 Making assumptions about other peoples behaviour and intentions without even attempting to ask first may have been adding fuel to that fire.
@@shykorustotora I'm pretty sure we all have done stupid shit and being called out for it also and semi-tangently people default to see any figure of authority as abusive in general, and a teenager's judgement isn't really that good to begin with either.
As someone who was once in a similar situation to OP's kid, there's definitely more to this story. Also, calling your kid an idiot for not asking you for help isn't the way to make them feel like they can ask you for help
In the marriage story- it seems like the sister knows something about the fiancé and she isn’t sharing. Like she’s cautioning without trying to hurt her sister
I have a similar story to the first. Over the pandemic my grandfather passed away, my father went to go get his stuff (for a bit of context my aunt had really shown her true color in when my grandfather died.) He willed his small truck me and while me and my dad were loading it onto the trailer to take it home we realized the owners manual and title were gone. Now my grandfather was known for keeping his cars clean, and having the owners manual in the glove box. We look all around the truck for the manual and give up, and load it onto the trailer to get it home. A few months later my aunt sends me a big box for my birthday, and yep its the manual for my truck that has been laying around her house for a few months. Due to that and her pretty much yelling and arguing with me about other stuff is why I have held a grudge about the manual and don't have much to fo with her
story 4: if the son's closet was made out of glass, I don't think it's OP's fault for noticing. Coming out is about privacy, sure, but the concern for privacy comes from the fear of violence. If his family is totally supportive and pays no mind to his sexuality, I say OP has done nothing wrong. Ultimately, the point of acceptance is not to have everyone come out, it's to the remove the need to come out entirely and view different sexualities as a fact of life, not a spectacle to spur drama.
OP in the first story is so entitled he truly doesn’t understand that his bil could’ve sued his brother and father so hard but didn’t choose to. His family is so lucky all they have is a grudge.
Outing my son story: NTA. She didn't out him to anyone, she only realised and discussed it with him privately. Additionally, a child's relationship absolutely is their parents business. Not that they need to know everything but if the child keeps too many secrets, something bad might be going on
2nd story: "Oh no, it's the consequences of my own actions!!" OP's parents can get bent. You don't get to ghost your daughter and then act all surprised when that daughter does the same to you
Here’s my thing with the outing story. Dude, if you’re gonna get all upset about it then don’t make it obvious. If you’re any to stay in the closet till you’re ready, don’t sit so close on the couch you’re basically cuddling, or make it known you’re buying gifts. If you want it to be a secret, then be secretive
The first op and his family should’ve at least gone on a payment plan to show that they’re sorry and will try to make it up even if it takes years. They are at fault and should’ve at least attempted to make it right.
With the last story it really showed that you were an english major reminded me of how english teachers get all of these hidden meanings that the author didn't put there, op is a parent and just learnt that his daughter was sitting in the cold for TWO HOURS, so it makes sense that his emotions flared up and some of these emotion very easily can become anger that was then misplaced with the daughter, but in essence op has a very human parental reaction and you very quickly go to abusive
I feel like the OP in the Outing My Son post is being judged too harshly. Here’s a comment (4th best) from the post that adequately puts together why I think OP isn’t an AH, way better than anything I could’ve written: As a gay man, some of yall need to get over yourselves. NTA. Yes he had to come out at an unexpected moment, but maybe don't suck so bad at hiding it? I mean it's terrible we have to hide anything at all, but if you're not ready for people to know, don't go around showing off things that obviously give it away and then get mad when someone has connected the dots, especially if that someone isn't even being malicious about it and has no way of being aware of what the entire situation even means. You're punishing an ally, that we desperately need as many of as we can get. I mean really, with fascism bearing down on us yall want to scream at the mother who just told her son "honey, you're not as inconspicuous as you think you are". OP, it looks like you're a loving parent and had no ill will towards your child. There is a lot of fear and uncertainty involved with coming out and since your child is now realizing he may not have that security any more, those emotions are getting charged. The best thing to do (based on what I felt I wanted before I came out) is to just continue to show him that it makes no difference in your love and support of him.
4th story def NTA. The thing is, son is upset that somehow that the parents take him being gay as something normal, nothing special. He wants to be a special star, have a coming out, being "brave and shit".
Dabney googling the prices and then immediately switching to "entitled OP" voice will never fail to make me laugh.
That got me too😂😂😂
true lol
Exactly what i thought too🤣
Init😂
Kek yeah happens kind of lot with his reading when you can hear the realization. Cracks me up everytime.
Considering OP’s father and brother aren’t currently sitting in prison for grand theft charges, I’d say that Op’s BiL is being incredibly generous and forgiving. The fact that the worst he’s done to the family is ‘hold a grudge’ is more indicative of his character than op thinks it is.
Just think how much the BIL must love his wife to still be around that family? I have some trying issues with my in-laws, but none of them ever stole $70K from me.
Preach
Ong I would have not been so forgiving. I would have been in court suing them.
Exactly. He should have reported the theft and his insurance would’ve made him whole
So these guys straight up stole tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, that he needed for his business, and wrecked it all. And he doesn’t know why the brother-in-law is still pissed at him?
The dad and brother may not be bad people according to the OP, but they are sneaky and dishonest people.
I'm surprised BIL didn't sue
I would sue them definitely. Wanna bet that OP and the family will say something to the effect of "You can't sue us! We're fAaAAaAaaMILY!!"?
BIL should have sued the crap out of them! Loss of equipment, revenue, damages, criminal charges. It would have been waaaay more than $70,000.
Yeah they made a massive mistake and they are in the blame but shouldn’t the BIL have insurance for his equipment. I guess they might not have paid since it wasn’t a workplace accident but that’s another issue
Last story: In her comments, OP admitted that she regularly picks the daughter up 30 mins late and that "SometimesI have to tell her to wait an hour or so until I get my work done". So yeah - negligent parent.
Ah, that changes stuff.
Because I don't necessarily agree with RSlash's "why did you get angry?" comment... he clearly doesn't have teenagers yet. I've gotten angry at my kids when they did something stupid to themselves -- it's anger borne of concern, but it's still anger. So the "anger" from the parent isn't unjustified when your kid would be sitting outside freezing for several hours instead of calling you.
That said, it's clear here that the kid DID have reason to not trust OP to get them. And that changes the story. If OP was always on time picking them up (or let's go with "rarely late"... lateness happens sometimes). Then the OP has the right to get irritated/mad (from a caring place). But it sounds like they're often late, in which case the kid was right to "not bother", which makes OP TA.
Also, what parent who picks up the kids doesn't know their kid's schedule? My wife picks up the kids about 75% of the time, but even then, I know my kids' schedules, in case something comes up (like if my wife has a meeting that stops her from getting them).
Haven't seen the update myself, but I'd be willing to bet that OP also berates the daughter if she leaves on her own. No 17-year-old would sit in the cold for that long instead of taking a bus, uber, or get a lift from a friend unless the punishment she'll get for leaving is worse than two hours freezing.
@@cmlemmus494 in a reply to someone’s question, it was revealed that the daughter doesn’t have the keys to the house. She’ll end up having to be outside anyways.
As a dude who was consistently picked up late by my parents, I'd say it was more of a point of emphasis for the girl. I remember I'd always need to get picked up at 4:30 when my practice ended after school, but my dad in particular would always be 30 minutes late. It sucked because all the other kids were gone and the coach would stick around specifically for me and tell me to tell my parents to come on time. It's embarrassing and for no reason either. It's not like my parents had jobs that ended that late, no. They would literally just be sitting at home and LEAVING at 4:30 instead of getting to the school at 4:30. And I didn't have a phone in high school, so if they forgot, I'd be doomed. At some point I was tempted to just walk the 10-15 miles home on my own when they came a whole hour later.
But then I got the trick down. Just tell my parents that practice ends an hour earlier, that way they make it on time. And if they been sitting in the parking lot for too long, just tell them practice ran late. That's how I handled that
@@_.hybrids._1680 bro what. My 12 year old brother has keys to the house 💀
Last story: as a mom (though mine is only 6y/o) my first question was "why did OP's daughter think they wouldn't come?" I am betting there is a history of the daughter needing to be picked up early and OP not doing it, or berating her for needing to be picked up early, or telling her that it wasn't going to happen again. Also, how does OP not know the schedule of the school? I have a copy of my daughter's school's schedule pinned up at my desk in the office and another on my home fridge. This is fully on OP for being a bad parent.
Addendum: found the post. OP regularly picks their daughter up 30 minutes late and sometimes makes them wait as much as an hour to pick them up so they can finish work. Every comment they make in response is filled with either blaming their daughter or being defensive.
I was a kid who was left till school closed a few times and at some point I just stopped caring and expected them to be late. My parents weren’t mean but apologized and were just stuck at work. Op is just a dick. He should know when his kid is off school and if he is awful enough gh to make her afraid of calling that is a problem.
Same it seemed weird that she would have just randomly given that excuse so it leads me to believe that there's a history of OP getting pissed at the daughter if she has to be picked up early
I also wanted to know why she just sat and waited? Did she order a Uber? If she didn’t think he was coming what was the next step?
@@czarinajohnson6074 I would guess the she probably doesn't have the funds to get an Uber/Lift/taxi and if she had she likely would have gotten in trouble for wasting the money. Her plan was quite simply to wait and not get in trouble. Instead she waited patiently and got called an idiot by OP. I feel like this was a "damned if you do damned if you don't" situation.
Dab, brother, you just invented a whole world off of a 2 sentence post. Try not to let your imagination run away with you. 🤨
Technically, in the first story, they cost the brother-in-law more because he used those for work. This means it pushes projects back. It means that he can't take on more projects. So that 70 grand is actually way more.
It definitely could have snowballed 😮
And then imagine the extra insult to the injury that in 10 years, a full decade, none of them have even considered a payment plan or anything. They just assumed that 'no lawsuit means no guilt'. And on top of that, the insurance money they likely got was probably for the things they stole, not the truck. Their insurance would not pay for the truck because it was used to haul a load outside its capability. That or they lied to the insurance company. So that family is a bunch of criminals who are smug they got away with it.
They also never really apologized, and it's likely that OP left out a ton of shit too.
They defiantly sound like the type who expected hand outs from BIL before the incident... If they didn't do what they did and gave BIL a "get out of financially supporting us" card they would have abused the fact that they are "better off" more then OP asking now 10 years later... He did lose $70,000 to them but they lost the right to ask for anything from BIL now and the OP needs to understand that BIL could have turned their lives upside down because of this but took the loss instead! They got insurance money for their truck and used it ALL on a new one for the dad but BIL wouldn't be able to make an insurance clam without filing charges of theft or filing fraudulently because when it comes to insurance of a big business they have strict rules they have to follow like who can use the insured items. (which is probably why he said "NO") He most likely couldn't get any money from insurance so he had to eat that loss all on his own with his in-laws getting away with no repercussions and a new truck...
1 story: The brother in law didn’t just lose the equipment and trailer, he loss jobs which in turn took profits from his family. Imagine him loosing customers because he doesn’t have the skid loader and trailer to complete the jobs he had lined up before the accident.
Indeed, they should have chipped in to compensate for the damage first instead.
It's not just about money, as he clearly said no when asked and his anwer to the question wasn't honored.
EXACTLY what I was going to say. When it comes to running a business, your machinery working is pivotal on performance and meeting contractual obligations! He probably had one skid loader assigned to one of 3 or 4 job sites, that now, can't be done because they are short one. If I were the BIL, I'd have taken them to court to force the repayment. OP's family is lucky he didn't do that and just settled on isolating away from the family instead. BIL did them a favor in that regard, frankly.
They are lucky the brother-in-law didn't take it to court. Judge would also look into loss of finances because of that accident. That 70 grand would be probably over 100 grand.
He had three more
OP & Fam are lucky af that he didn't report the theft and take legal action. Dude must really love his wife, who is also a chronic craphat.
That gay son story, it probably could be handled better, but to me it sounds like OP was being supportive, but got caught off guard by the son pretending something was secret that everyone knew.
Also OP didn’t out him to his dad, sounds like he’d already figured it out as well
Yeah she handled it poorly in that moment, and he was probably thrown off which is where the comment came from, but she didn’t out him (since he didn’t tell her, and she just figured it out)
@@tyrannapusandfriends6254 yeah that confused me as well.
OP didn't out anyone. figuring out something obvious is not outing. If she went and told others, it would be that, but she kept it to herself.
Story 1: Man, these kinds of stories hit me hard. I had a close family member steal about 10K from me once. He was actually remorseful, and though he couldn't pay me back right away, he began garnishing his wages to make up for it. I was still pissed at the time and filed a police report. Over the next year and a half, while he paid me back monthly, we managed to build our relationship back up, and I ended up dropping the charges (the police move super slow, he hadn't even been served yet). My point is, he had to work, both to pay me back financially and to rebuild what we had emotionally. He didn't get an easy pass because he's "family."
Our relationship is back to what it was, for the most part, with one caveat: He never, ever gets so much as a single penny loaned to him from me.
THISS!! If the dad and bro was actually "good", they would've done what your comment did!!!😮💨🤦🏽♀️
exactly 💯
so let's say $70,000 : 10 years : 12 months = $583,33/month, without interest. and I'm sure the brother in law will not ask for the interest.
only $583,33/month, $19,5/day, that's how much they need to pay their debt. but NOOooo... they choose to be a douchebag.
As a guy who tried to hide my relationship with my boyfriend for a while, I actually preferred my parents approaching it with humor. That's my personal experience though, and since I was already out before this, it could make my perspective irrelevant
I think your perspective is relevant and could pertain to many others in your situation. My best friend's son, on the other hand, took almost three years to come out even though his parents are liberal and openly supportive of all human rights. He has since said that he knew his parents would love him, and he knew that they probably knew, he just wasn't ready to share. But that was his journey, be well in yours!
I am straight but if I put myself in OPs shoes I think it's more of him being embarrassed and shocked then actually hurt I think he just didn't processed the emotions and it came out as anger and maybe now it's awkward... I know I am assuming too many things but... I think that's a possibility
Kid try so hard to hide their relationship, just found out mom and dad knew the whole time. He will come around.
It depends on the parents as well. If your parents have really old opions on life it could be hard to come out. It was the case for me, my mother doesn't really care but my father thought I was jocking.
It doesn't bother him now and we all laugh about this situation now but I think it's better that a strict family is open to dicuss those things in a jockly way than a strict and unloving way.
Also it would be a bit funny and cute to see your giga chad alpha boy being sweet, loving and caring toward the love of his life. He doesn't need to hide it anymore, he could love freely
My daughter has had a very close friend since sixth grade and they’re now 18 and 19 respectively. He moved five years ago to another state with his family of six or seven. Anyways, I absolutely adored this young boy who has grown up into a wonderful young man. Honestly, he’s always been my favorite among her close friends. I think he came out in the summer when he had been in seventh and going into eighth. Poor thing has been so nervous and worried when my husband and I knew all along. The both of us accepted him with open arms as well and for sure our daughter too. However, he’s never come out to his religious parents. To me, I’ve always been baffled that his parents seem to have been in denial and it saddens me to know that both of his parents would reject him from his close knit brothers and sisters along with their church.
As a parent, it is so difficult for me to even try to comprehend these parents who cut off their children simply due to their preference in the same gender. I know I love my daughter far too much to throw her out just because she is interested in girls rather than boys. I just couldn’t do it. I think it would destroy me and my life I did.
Back to our young man. He still hasn’t told his parents, and I really don’t think he ever will, which is his choice, and one I do tend to agree with. He now has his his own place that he rents, a full-time job that he enjoys, and some pretty great friends of what I’ve been told. I always knew he’d make good friends because he himself is a good friend too. I wish him nothing but the very best with a nice, smooth road to travel.
In story 3 the sister absolutely has a point. Like op said her and her fiance are madly in love and of course they are they have only dated for 6 months. They are still in the "honey moon" period where they are madly in love and "walking on rainbows" but that change after a year or so and then you know if you are compatible or not. If they marry now it might come as an expensive misstake after a while
Absolutely anybody who says getting married is so that in the eyes of the law they recognize you as soulmates is way too immature to be getting married. Legal contracts don't care if you're soul mates or not. They don't even care if you're in love or not or even like each other. All they care about are you two consenting adults of marrying age. That's it.
If you’re so sure that you’re getting married then you can absolutely wait for a bit.
Yes, 6 months is almost certainly too soon to get engaged. Hope they have a lengthy engagement. BUT relationships fail after years together so time spent isn't a guarantee either.
Have known couples married many years after dating for a short time first. The red flags are the abruptness of OP's decisions: getting married, cutting her sister from her wedding, refusing to talk. It sounds like someone who's immature and volatile.
Yeah. I was getting mega Princess Anna vibes.
I'm so glad RSlash looked up the price for the first story. That really did change the story a whole lot. Like OP and the family were AH before, but it like skyrocketed once I learned the price.
price is irrelevant, firstly they should have honered his answer, secondly as they didn't they should have made an efford to compensate for the financial losses. They should be gratefull the BIL didn't press charges and they didn't end up in jail for stealing.
If they can chip in for a cruise, they could have chipped in 10 years before that to start paying for the financial loss. Even if they just compensated 10% of the loss, by the shown effort of trying to compensate at least the BIL may have had an entire different attitude already.
Al sins can be forgiven, but not unconditionally. Regret, repent and satisfactory compensation preceed forgiving.
@BlacksmithTWD I mean more so it matters because of how lucky they got off with BIL. All he did was cut them off. He should have sued them and they should have paid him back. I'm not saying they were nice people before I found out the price. I meant it really shows just how stupid and entitled they are. They were the AHs for ignoring the BIL and than not paying him back any money for the damage they did.
@@BlacksmithTWD Agreed, price is totally irrelevant, as is the inability of the family to pay for it and the ability of the BIL to absorb the cost. The fact is they destroyed BIL's property and never paid him back for it for 10 years. Then they have the audacity to ask him for money so their parents can go on a cruise. Bunch of entitled A-holes.
I agree with the sister in the third story honestly. It seems incredibly impulsive to marry somebody after 6 months. Especially considering OP gets defensive when her sister brings up her very reasonable concern... gives me the impression she isn't really thinking clearly and just acting on her emotions.
I keep thinking the same. I’m seeing a lot of people talking about people 30, 60 years ago marrying after a few months and being happily married for xx years but things are definitely different but it’s not like you can’t get married later? Being married can also be a strain of “you’re married now, you have to suck it up and deal with it” when there’s an issue. Just because it seems like someone is quick to marry doesn’t mean they’ll be quick to divorce someone and some people can end up taking advantage of that.
I think it depends on the individuals involved in the relationship. If they are both ready to accept what it means to be married and what not. While not super common in the United States it happens a lot. I married my wife after knowing her for 7 months. Granted we were both looking for a permanent relationship.
Yay, you just described 99% of wahmen. And when there's a bitter divorce in one year, she'll be boohooing and wanting support from the sister.
You're kidding, right Ahmad? The sister never supported the relationship, she just pretended to because she was obviously thinking that it wouldn't last. Her comment to OP that OP would find someone else that she "loves more" was disrespectful at best. It's like the sister is telling OP that she doesn't know what love feels like or that OP's feelings aren't valid. It'd be one thing if she was encouraging OP to hold off on getting married to quickly, but no, she's trying to tell OP to find someone else. There is context to the story that isn't read in the video, as they are comment that OP left in response to questions people had. The marriage isn't from being impatient but rather logistical reasons. She's met his friends and family (parents, siblings, cousins), and they even ran into his ex gf one time and the ex gf was nice and respectful.
Mind you, maybe she will change her mind a few years down the road, but all this aside, the question was if OP would be TA for not inviting her sister. IMO, a wedding should consist of those who support the relationship, and if OP's sister isn't going to be supportive of it, then there's no reason to invite her.
@@TheGuruStudsexist much?
i came out in the same way as the 4th story. my parents knew, and just asked me. i dont see why this kid is so upset. its a dream to be able to just say yes and not have to jump through hoops or worry about homophobia with some parents. this kid is super lucky and so am i.
I'm straight and an ally if I ever have kids and one is obviously gay that's pretty much how I'll handle it. If they feel they need to "come out" to me I'd feel like a failure.
Yeah, I'm not gay but thinking about it I couldn't imagine a better scenario.
I don't imagine coming out is ever an easy experience but to have your parents already know and be so accepting they invite your boyfriend on a family trip seems ideal.
Unless he wanted drama of course, in which case screw that guy.
What if it isnt about being gay, but a mother asking about the relationship. Teenagers get embarrased by that shit, its normal.
@@ron4202 that embarrassed?? Not talking to his mom for a few day’s embarrassed?
@@jamesfromteamrocketmcduck7288
Dude, that sounds like your average teenager, ever been around one?
"Outing my Son" deserves ZERO bad guys. RSlash's advice is simply not how you would expect any other parent to go about things. If you had a hetero son and you found out he was becoming active with girls OF COURSE you would insert yourself into that situation even if they were embarrassed about it
Great analogy 💯
Story 3 has soooo many red flags. Not only is 6 months real short for a relationship, the fact that the fiancé is so ready to isolate her from her family is alarming. I know a 24-30 age gap isn’t huge, but there’s a lot of growth a person goes through in those years, and a mature 30 year old would say “she’s just concerned for you, she’s your sister..” not just ”yep cut her out”. It’s just a huge red flag since one of the first things narcissists and abusers do is isolate their victims.
YUP
6 months isn't really that short. Also, we have no idea what the relationship between the family members is like or how the conversation went. I wouldn't say that letting her manage her own guest list is really a red flag. Standing up for her sister might have been a reasonable thing to do, but I also think it's fine to trust and support your fiancee to open their own wedding
How did you find a way to make the only dude in the story a bad guy?
Fucking misandrists I swear 🙄
Agree there are red flags - I think people need at least a couple of years to get to know each other before marrying - but the sister made a huge mistake saying she 'didn't support' OP. At most, the sister should have voiced her concern about rushing into a marriage, but once OP made it clear they were going ahead, the sister should have buttoned her lip and stood by to help OP if things went sideways.
6 months is too short it takes years to get to know somebody
*Totals $70,000 worth of equipment * "bro it was a mistake get over yourself, anyways lets go on a cruise"
Yeah a cruise for my dad who stole your loader!
Yeah they should have chipped in to repay the BIL
I can't fathom how after OP typed that all out he could sit back and go, yeah we are so not the AH, we are pooooor
More like, "Oh, sorry we trashed $70k worth of your equipment. Can you give us money to send Mom & Dad on a cruise?"
Not even that, it's "Pay for this cruise that you don't even get to go on... also FUCK YOU and your job.. you're never seeing a dime of money from us."
7:29 Second story: the moment they threw her out. INSTANT NTA. They knew she couldn’t support herself in that moment but oh “because she CHOOSE her lifestyle” she needed to sleep in the bed she made! Give me a break, they made their bed and they can sleep in it.
I laughed at my sister when she tried to convince me that her boyfriend was just a friend. It was very obvious. The son could not hide it and cannot be angry that they figured it out. You can only pretend that something isn't happening for so long.
For the outing story… kind of have a similar story to tell. I am ace, but before last year didn’t even know it was a label.
My parents were extremely religious, so once I found out I was ace, I planned on staying in the closet forever.
When asked about relationships and sex and whatnot, I always responded kind of grossed out and negatively.
One day, I was doing the dishes and my mom was talking to my aunt. Then someone mentioned potential partners and mom is just like, ‘nah she’s asexual so her dating pool is probably really small.’ I paused, shocked, and then slowly continued doing the dishes. My dad still doesn’t know (like I said - closet to grave (and they separated a year ago), but mom wasn’t necessarily the jerk for outing me the way she did. I think she just wanted to tell me it was fine and she could still make fun of and embarrass me anyway (the way moms always do).
Story 1: YTA be lucky they didn't sue you and you're not in jail. What an ungrateful entitled person and thief. Doesn't matter how long ago or "If he can take it" you're the jerk and he has right to have a grudge against you.
They stole one quarter of BILs business, regarding the loader and trailer, 70k is only the value of the broken items, if he had sued them he could have sued for lost revenue, which would make it probably to about 200k or more, depending on how many contracts he could have covered with the fourth skit loader...
Honestly, I wish the BIL DID sue them!
@@tawnyacosta9091 It would have been taken from any income they had since they don't have the money for it. If that.
I don’t think OP was involved in the theft of the skid loader and dump trailer, just their dad and brother, so I don’t think they’d also be arrested- But you’re absolutely right, I’d rather just deal with this guy hating me over being sued and imprisoned
@@frootsnacc6790 But OP's defense of his family to the BIL does make them TAH. Those who approve of what their family does, even if they didn't do those things themselves, are just as guilty.
Bruh I about crapped my pants when I heard the first paragraph of story 3. I’m about OP’s age, a year younger actually, and even I can see clear as day why her sister isn’t being “supportive”. Girl, you haven’t even known this man for the length of an average K-12 school year AND you got engaged before you’d even made it half a year into the relationship?? Age gap aside, this relationship is moving WAY too fast! Has OP and her fiancé even tried living with each other under the same room yet? Because you can think someone is just gods gift to the world all you want, but when you have to actually live with them day I’m and day out, that assumption can change pretty damn fast depending on their respective lifestyles. Have they discussed their future plans, finances, and if they want kids or not? For OP’s sake, she and her fiancé need to cool their jets for a bit, they both need time to see if this relationship is right for either of them. If OP gets married now, I don’t see the marriage lasting even a full year.
Half a year dating, half a year married, rest of their life divorced. Lol
yup. what's the rush? give it at least a year, there's literally zero harm in waiting but sooo many consequences for marrying too early
They're still in the honeymoon phase. Everyone is on their BEST behavior. In the Reddit thread people were commenting on the boyfriend's support for cutting ties with the sister. The fact that OP can't even stand to hear another opinion shows that she NEEDS to hear another opinion.
I'm not saying it isn't a good relationship, that they won't work out or anything, but it ventures into a toxic echo chamber when you won't even let opposing viewpoints in. Not good.
You think 6 months is a long time? Holy cow is this the 17th century? Me and my husband didn’t get that far and we are happily married 6 years later
It's a guilty pleasure, but I do love when RSlash and the comments rip an OP apart.
I too love when people rip someone apart but in real life
RIGHT! It is hilarious! Then you have the OP who took the time to write everything out while trying to downplay their wrongdoings and are still seen for their BS! It is great! LOL
@@Kibo-sama that right there, really is nonsensical bullsh*t
Final story:
The anger was insecurity and fear that she'd look like a horrible parent (likely because she is). My mother was exactly like this and she has NPD. Its a fear of "now everyone who saw you sitting out here knows I'm a bad parent and that's your fault".
Last story: There is DEFINITELY a lot of information being left out here. No surprise that OP's daughter doesn't call him for things like this when his immediate response is to throw a fit and call her names. And coming from a toxic family, I highly doubt that the insults are the extent of this
Seems like one of those stories where the OP is leaving out the info missing here on purpose just to make themselves look good on Reddit.
I think the main thing people are missing from the last story is that the daughter told her parent the ‘excuse’ of “I didn't think you'd come”. That thought does not come from a place where she knows her parent will show up when she needs him. Her parent also directing the anger at her does not help his case either. The post seems to give bare bones information too. Really we need an update to this with more information or a post from the daughters side.
Edit: noticed that the op did not specify whether they are a mom or dad. Username could imply dad but still.
Edit 2 for research into the post: OP made multiple comments about how they pick their kid up anywhere from 30 minutes after school lets out to a full hour after. Not for clubs, because OP gets UPSET when they have to leave work early and their kid must know that they don't like to do this. Their 17-year-old also does not have keys to their home and does not leave the house.
By the by, schools in the US have to notify parents of early dismissal if it is planned or unplanned and if the parent picks their daughter up every day they should know that it is an early dismissal day if it was planned. It would have been on the school calendar.
Either OP missed the call/text from the school and is blaming the kid by saying it's her responsibility to tell them or, OP knew and put work before the safety and security of their own kid.
I unfortunately had a similar relationship with both my parents...
They would lash out, call me everything in the book, and even slapped me in the face a few times among other things.
The ironic part is that when I started withdrawing, not speaking up about pain or cramps or being sick or needing something or whatever, when they found out my dad would rage about how I was being " ridiculous, exaggerated, attention seeking and/or manipulative."
I can see where the daughter is coming from, OP please reevaluate your relationship before you lose your kid forever.
@@mr_graves_ I'm sorry that happened to you brother. Your emotions and feelings are always valid and know that you are not alone.
@@tiny436 Thank you friend.
I'm mostly fine now, but the fact is that even though some part of me knew what was happening at home was bad, I didn't realize just how bad it was until I had a frame of reference.
It took me until I met my partner and saw how their family operated, how everyone laughed at Christmas and asked for hugs and generally enjoyed each other's company to fully realize how much I was missing.
It made me really stop trying to make my own family work, and I almost guarantee that when OP's daughter finds her place, finds people (whether a new family or friends) that fill that deficiency, she's going to be absolutely done with her dad/mom.
When you find yourself essentially adopted by people who actually like you the reality of what's going on at home sinks in hard, and why would OP's daughter keep going back to him when the contrast is made quite clear?
OP is on borrowed time to fix this before his daughter finds something much better and never talks to him again.
my parents aren't like that but they can yell if they're mad. whenever there's an early dismissal or i have to be picked up, my school always called my parents and they'll wait outside for my van/bus to come and get me off.
My dad picked me up late all throughout high school, usually about an hour. The school would be closed, I had a creepy senior asking for my number as a freshman (I'm a girl and have perpetual babyface that draws all the creeps), and so naturally my dad continued to say I'd be fine and not fuss over it. Eventually my grandmother was the one to get me a phone because my dad said if I needed to call someone I could borrow a phone... You know, in front of a school that closes 30 minutes after closing. I'd sit behind the trees hoping no one walking or driving by would see me.
Sorry for the rant, the daughter's response brought back old memories. I hope she has someone looking out for her. I'm 25 now. You don't forget what happened over ten years ago, you just don't actively think about it.
Story 3: honestly, I'd recommend waiting it out a little more than six months, passion or not. You shouldn't rush big things. But at the end of the day it's op choice. I'd still invite her, because it's a pretty mild difference, not like your sister hates him or wants to disown you. Unnecessarily nuclear option
Sounds to me like the sister has histrionic personality disorder. One way it hits is falling madly in love and going from 1-100
I'd argue they should wait because of the passion. Being so in love so fast can lead to people overlooking flaws that after a longer time start to become a big deal
As someone who made that mistake and is now going through a messy divorce after coming out as a lesbian 8 years after marrying a man, yeah. Waiting is a lot smarter (and cheaper! My divorce is going to cost me $300 and my marriage was just the cost of the license, which was $50). She's young. And while girls DO mature quickly, 24 is still too young to know what you'll want in 5 years. Especially with someone you've only dated for 6 months (like wtf? Give it a year and time for the honeymoon phase to pass first).
And let's be real honest. Anybody who thinks that a marriage license means that the law recognizes you as soulmates is not mature enough to be married. Silliest little Disney girl fantasy I've ever heard. A marriage in the legal sense is so the law knows your assets are joint. Your debt is joint, and you have to file taxes jointly. That's it. They don't care if you're in love or your soulmate or even if you like each other. All the court cares about is you of legal marrying age, and do you willingly knowingly consent to being married. That's it. There's nothing romantic about marriage in the legal sense. And anyone who thinks that that's what a marriage license is that the government knows it that's your soulmate you're too young to get married. You do not have the life experience to understand how the real world works if that's what you think.
I got engaged to my wife after dating her for only 3 months! Extreme, I know, but as has been said, when you know, you know. Having said that, the compromise was a long (6 year) engagement mainly because we couldn't afford a wedding for a long time. We're celebrating our 20 year anniversary this year!
"Well you see your Honor, I'm not rich so I don't think I should have to pay for the speeding ticket or fine for drunk driving!" Yeah dude, not how things work. Maybe if you're not rich you shouldn't steal peoples expensive equipment and wreck it.
Story 1: Even if they could never afford 70K they could have set up some sort of repayment plan to at least say "hey, we fucked up and we're going to try and make it right". Like even if it was nominal, it signals taking responsibility and probably would've gone a long way to emotionally repairing the rift. But no, they were fine with stealing his stuff and then didn't care to repair anything to the point of BIL not being involved with the family.
The reason that I don't lend stuff out is because most people don't give a shit about taking care of the item. I rent a house and the landlord comes round to do work. He stated that when I move out he can have another tenant move in the next day, as he has never seen someone take such care during a tenancy.
Story 3: I agree with the sister. This marriage won’t last long. OP is too impulsive for it to be one of those rare occasions. Even then, in most of those rare occasions, the couple were already just friends for a long time. These two barely know each other. If they do stay married, it’ll be because they don’t want to go through the process of divorce.
Edit: THE AGE GAP! THE READINESS TO ISOLATE OP! OP. RUN, DON’T WALK, TO THE NEAREST EXIT.
Not to mention anybody who thinks that getting married is so that you're legally recognized as soulmates is two immature to make the legal commitment to get married. Marriage in a legal sense has nothing to do with love. I'm not trying to be cynical. I'm not trying to be a butthole. But marriage license and the people issuing them only care about a few things. Are you who you say you are? Are you the age to consent to getting married. That's it. They don't care if you're madly in love or if you hate each other. That is not a prerequisite to getting a marriage license.
I met my husband in 2002. We went from "nice to meet you" to "how about going out someplace?" to "I love you" to "will you marry me?" In about a month. When you know, you know. In four days we will be married twenty-one years.
I met my husband and got married 3 months later that was 28 years ago.
@@Scottsteaux63
Good for you. But abusive partners tend to push for the quick marriage to trap their victims. It's normal to be cautious and worried when things escalate this quickly.
@@Scottsteaux63yeah that's wonderful that your marriage worked out like that. Like I'm so happy for you. But your marriage and your example is just that it's yours. It's not representational of most people's experience. And the fact of the matter is I have to agree with the above commenter a lot of times. Abusive partners especially with young girls push them to make big commitments like marriages. She hasn't known this person long enough to know if their abusive or not. The reality is that a lot of abusers will push their victim to making big commitments cuz it's harder to leave once you're married. As opposed to just dating. And I guarantee you if she went through with this marriage and he is abusive. She's pregnant. Because then it's even harder for her to leave him. So like I said, your story is a beautiful fairy tale and I'm so glad that you had that experience. But that's not the reality for most people. Most people have the abusive experience when they rush into these marriages or just a disaster of a relationship. Especially someone who's so immature they think a marriage in the legal sense is about the law recognizing their soulmates.
I love the way OPs parents try to turn it around that she's the bad person for this. She was a child~THEIR CHILD~and alone. They are grown adults that have each other. Maybe they should've given her the love and compassion she deserved when she came out and they'd have a loving compassionate daughter willing to help them.
As a gay person it should be our dream to reach a point where we don’t have to “come out” a lot of ppl have a lot of traumatic situations surrounding coming out as seen from the earlier coming out video and this kid is mad because he’s supportive parents knew the obvious. We should strive for this.
I don't see why Dabney said OP was the a-hole there. Imean I don't know what she could have done better there. He was in a glass closet
Ugh these homophobic people piss me of so much my parents totally accepted the fact that I am bi and they support me 100% it’s because of homophobic people that society still sucks in 2023
i think the kid was probably stressed bc he was afraid of the worst outcome. i feel like she shouldve handled it a bit with more care
@@fool4343 yeah i feel is that but really is hard judging op, it really just feel they waited for the inevitable talk since they realized but enough time happened that maybe they just started thinking of it as entablished info
I think it was the laughing at him when he was trying to say he was straight. Teenagers are often emotional and insecure. If OP didn’t laugh and had a more serious conversation (not lecture, just not laughing at her son…) it probably would have gone over way better. Also, hard to tell if he’s scared on his BF’s behalf. But I imagine if parents take him to dinner and talk and don’t “make fun of him” (that’s what being laughed at feels like) for being so oBvIoUs then it will probably patch things up. And they can inquire on how much the other boy’s parents need to know vs not.
"I told him that my dad and my bro made a mistake, and he needs to let it go!"
Easy to say when you're not the one that lost the money
I've dealt with this myself. When I had to flee from my (former) parents, I lost thousands in tools, equipment, and collectibles. Not to mention the money they stole from my paychecks for about 5 months or so.
I was told by everyone to 'just get over it, it's not that big of a deal'.
There was grim satisfaction in irony when one of the people who told me to get over it lost $5,000 from theft. To this day he isn't over it.
@@sylythryllsixxus3809 did you tell them to just get over it? What was their reaction?
@@scuba535 I told them it was like what happened to me, they told me it was different because the thief wasn't a relative.
@@sylythryllsixxus3809 WTF! So even when they had the exact same thing happen to them it is somehow "different" because you personally know who stole from you? I detest these "but they are faaaamily" people who downplay the abusive things family can do to you just because you had a relationship once upon a time... Hypocrisy at its finest! Sorry to hear that happened to you and that some of the people in your life are super delusional...
Should have told them to get over it.
9:40 “Op thats my impression of your parents, what do you think am I close? :)” LMAO
"They couldn't pay back my brother in law because he wanted almost 70,000 dollars"
They can use whatever audacity they had stealing your brother in laws stuff to get that amount
Story 1 - the brother and dad are exceedingly lucky that the BIL didn't press charges for theft. I would have pressed charges immediately upon finding out that the thieves had zero intention on righting the wrong.
Story 1 yta I heard this one before. They stole from him. Never paid him back then has the audacity to tell him get over it. What terrible people.
not only that but the dad decides to pay for a new truck from the insurance he got for his stupid decision.
Also people forget how the sister completely ran over her husband’s boundaries. It wasn’t hers to lend out
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 Actually, with that one, I get the feeling she was raised to be this family pleaser whom they can manipulate because she's a girl, as this type of sexism in toxic families isn't really new, and the BIL was trying to teach her to stand up her herself and it seems like when the mess took place, she wasn't quite independent yet and she was in her home alone, so of course her family would take this advantage and see this as their chance to get what they want.
So, instead, I'd actually put in that this family had raise what I assume is the only daughter into being their puppet that they can control.
I'm gay and I would be incredibly relieved to hear my mom laughing at my relationship over being angry about it. This kid is mad because his mom is being supportive? WHY?
Brat. Sometimes I think most gay or trans people care more about the theatrics than actually having a support system when they come out. I would have loved for my mom to laugh and joke with me about it.
Yeah, I disagree with RSlash on this one. Like if it were a straight son with his girlfriend and the Mum asked a similar question and teased him, no one would say it's none of her business. It's a teenager in his 1st relationship - that's what parents do
Yeah lol that dudes probably just thinking that he’ll immediately get attacked or something, I’d be happy honestly that they didn’t mind and already knew
It shouldn't have to be one extreme or the other. She clearly could have been more sensitive about it. She wasn't reading the room.
@@rhiannonmackenzie2527 Maybe because being straight doesnt get you disowned and bullied?? The amount of people looking at this as "lets make gay normal by ignoring homophobia" is absolutely appalling.
3rd story: I feel like the sister's concerns are justified, BUT I think she's going about it in a bit of an aggressive way to OP. Overall I think OP is moving quite fast for a 6 month relationship and their sister is rightfully worried. The two of them really sound like they do need a talking to with a calmer mindset and in a calm environment.
Also, absolutely anybody who thinks that getting married is about the law, recognizing that your soulmates is not mature enough to be making that commitment to anyone. The law doesn't care if your in love. Two people that absolutely hate each other as long as they meet the requirements for being married in most places to be a certain age and not to be previously married. They will give you a marriage license. Whether or not you're in love is not relevant. As far as the laws concerned.
@ImperiousMax How was the sister aggressive? All she did was state how she thought the marriage was too fast, and to give it a little more time.
16:09 I'm a 25 year old guy with a Mom like that. Ever since I was a kid, Mom had always been overprotective towards me. Any kind of injury I receive, be it a small papercut, she freaks the fuck out and yells at me first! Then brings an excessive amount of first-aid. To this day, whenever I get a cut, the first thing that comes to my mind is my Mom's yelling face! Does that mean she's abusive? Heck no! I'd even go on to say bring in the best parents on the planet and my parents would still be better! That's just how she is. A quirk of her, I may say.
I think this Dad is the same.
I like how once Rslash looked up the prices of this stuff, he chose to switch with the Entitled Kevin voice
Ah, money. Nothing makes a family('s hands) tighter (around each other's necks) than money.
This
"Op, that's my impression of your parents. Did I get close?" That had me dead🤣
Last story: if this situation had happened to me, where i stayed out in the cold for 2 hours instead of calling my dad right away because i thought for some reason he wouldn't come pick me up (which he would, because he's a good dad, i'm just saying if i perceived that), yeah he might be a little angry that I didn't call him because he doesn't want me to freeze to death, but then he would apologize and we'd have a talk about why i thought he wouldn't pick me up. He'd do the right thing and apologize for ever giving the impression that he would do that. That's how a *real* dad would handle it.
The last story reads like the daughter's afraid of inconveniencing her father. It has r/raisedbynarcissists vibes all over it. Basically, some parents (including my own) raise their kids to try to predict their mercurial moods, because they get angry, yell and scream for minor issues, and take out all their anger and stress on their kids.
It's disgusting, and it's unfortunately all too common. The daughters actions are a sign of years of living in an abusive home.
Story 2: They have a lot of nerve to think that someone they threw out would just be okay with helping them.
That is karma, and you gotta accept that, OP's parents
I doubt that their going to accept that in all honesty
Yeah, the parents are delusional. 😆😆 I haven't heard from you in OVER A DECADE ...since you drop kicked my from your house at 18.... and now you turn up expecting help? Somebody should drug test her parents. LOL
i'm pansexual (i'm attracted to any gender) but i'm also wlw (woman loving woman) and if i had op's parents then there would be a post on r/prorevenge in days
4th story: guy wasn’t even in the closet to come out at that point. Sure, the mom didn’t help by laughing and putting him on the defensive, but if he ain’t acting like it’s a secret, he shouldn’t be surprised when people just acknowledge it.
Here's a lil fun factor to think about.
It's not the "coming out" as gay thing that matters here.
It's that the person is uncomfortable sharing something with their parents. As a teen, you will do things and want things you don't want to share with your parents period. No matter how kind and supportive they are. Even as an adult you will have things that are "YOURS" to induldge on and you don't want to share it with others.
It's a human trait. And before you go into a dark place... remember how the stereotypical dad has secret projects in their garage they do not share with others?
That's the behaviour shown here.
What was the dad building? Maybe a car, maybe a model of something. But the thing is... it's fully theirs and their world. Something to retreat into.
The reason they don't wanna share it with others?
- Embarrasment
- Having others involved with it while you just want it to be your thing.
- Fearing interference might ruin it.
- Solitude Moments
- Something to just call your own.
- Not ready to share it with others.
Even in gaming, have you played such a good game, but don't wanna share or play it with others cause they will start being newbies and halt your own progress and enjoyment of the game, cause they wanna play with you and get angry when you don't?
Instantly you will sound like a selfish jerk... that interaction you want to avoid... so you just never share it. That kinda thought process is behind story 4.
@@kotlolish the problem with your example is that there wasn’t any hint he wanted privacy. He was doing these things in front of his parents. There was no attempt of subtlety of boundary setting, besides occasionally shutting a door
Let’s use your examples: someone is building a car, but instead of working in their garage, they choose to work on it in their front driveway, or where they park in the street. Do they have any right to be upset about a neighbor merely bringing it up after seeing it progress for months? They had no idea the car was a secret since it was done out in the open.
Or video games. This would be like if someone played one video game all the time, and only spoke about it. So, a friend decides to give them a shirt with art of the game, only for them to act like they don’t like the game. The friend isn’t out of line for thinking it would be a good idea, since he was so open about it normally.
Sure, if the parent started heavily questioning him, you’d have a point. But this was a scenario where she mentioned the basic idea without details, and then refuted obviously attempts to cover it up in post.
@@PrimeCypher totaly agree with you. Yes, it's probably emberessing for him because he very badly tried to hide his relation. But that's very normal. Are Parents now not allowed to say "your boy-/girlfriend" until they officially say it?
In this story nobody digged where they shoudn't. As you said it was a secret hidden in plain sight
@@PrimeCypher yeah I tots agree with you, the son is being unsubtle with his choices and then being surprised when his parents find out.
@@kotlolish yeah no he's an idiot, showed my friends this post and the ones who have come out with negative results are chewing him out
With the "dating my song” one, I'm gay. So weirdly enough this is kinda what happened to me and my best friend. We both were country boys and I was terrified to tell him I was gay. Then one day while we were on a walk he just blurts it out. "Hey I know you're gay and I don't care". In that situation specifically it was one of those things that cemented our friendship forever. However in a different context and with family I can see that going a different way for sure.
OMG! That first story was infuriating! Dabney, I'm with you, they are just out of their minds! Pay first and then go anywhere, the title should have been AITA for ignoring we owe 70000 to my BIL for 10 years and not care about it?
“A little wedgie thing” had me almost falling out of my chair from laughing so hard. Idk why that was so amusing to me. I’m not even in construction and had to google it myself.
Wasn't that the brother in law's stuff he needed for work? He should have sued!
100% should have sued. If they stole it from anyone else they would have been and deserve to be.
Considering how much OP pleads family poverty, it's possible that the BiL wanted to sue but was told that it wouldn't be worth it by a lawyer.
For story 3, I think that it’s a nobody sucks here, they all have valid reasons for how they’ve reacted. My parents got married after dating for six months, and they’ve been together almost 17 years. But I can see where the sisters coming from bc it’s uncommon to see that work out, especially when you’re young.
There is so much left unsaid in that last story. There is a lack of trust on the daughter’s part in regards to her dad. Maybe he’s quick to anger, maybe he’s verbally or emotionally abusive or maybe he’s just bad at keeping promises. Whatever it is, daughter has learned to not to go to her father when in need. By her own actions she would rather be cold. OP left a LOT out of his AITA story.
3rd story: That relationship is a treasure trove of red flags. 6 months is the honeymoon phase, you can’t truly know a person well enough to know you’re ready to be together for the rest of your life in that time. Plus, while 24-30 isn’t gross, it’s kind of eh, like she’s still in her early 20s, go out and have fun. I feel like sooner rather than later OP is going to understand why her sister doesn’t support it. I understand that hurts but you also shouldn’t enable someone to do a questionable thing just cause you love them. Also the fiancé being like “Just cut her off” that quick, eh that feels like this is about to get abusive the second they step out of the church.
Nah Dabney OP in the closeted son story is NTA. I would have KILLED to have an interaction like that. And I think most people would too. Parents that say "Hey we know about you and your boyfriend bring him along we'd love to get to know him! We're cool with it!"? A Godsend compared to the stories you always see. I think The Son is just a bit scared OP outed him to everyone, which doesn't appear to be the case, and once he realizes that everything will be fine.
Dabney, I really like it when you pause reading to add commentary. Don’t apologize, do it more! You’re (usually) pretty funny!
They are lucky BIL didn't take them to court. OP needs to STFU and count their blessings.
@desperate need of scotch True, they wouldn't likely be able to pay the total amount, but in many cases, the court has the power to make a liable person liquidate assets such as homes and vehicles to pay back part of what they owe as well as docking wages. Also, stealing items of that value may even carry jail time if charges were pressed.
Bring back Tree Law, dearest Dabney!
Third story: OP is TA. She barely knows her fiancee, and the fact that Derrick is willing to support OP's estrangement from her sister is an extremely red flag. Narcissists like to isolate their victims, so OP could be walking into something dangerous. Six months is a very short time into a relationship to get married. The sister is asking valid questions, and OP's response was to get defensive and draw a line in the sand.
Plus be really honest. Anybody who thinks that getting married in the legal sense is about the law. Recognizing you as soul mates is too naive to head in her clouds and two immature to be making that kind of commitment to anyone. Your regardless of her age. Legally speaking, I'm not trying to poo poo marriage. I'm getting married this October. I love marriage. But lately speaking in the eyes of the law they don't care. If you're in love or not. You could absolutely hate each other. The law doesn't care what it cares about is are you are who you say you are. Are you of legal marriaging age. And are you married now? That's it. This story just blows my mind.
Being a contractor myself, there’s no way in hell I’d let someone scrap my equipment and get away with it, be it family or not… that’s my livelihood right there
Love how honest rslash always is
How brother in law didn’t divorce his wife for such a betrayal, baffles me
I agree but considering how entitled OP and the other family members acted it's entirely possible the sister is a people pleaser and felt ambushed. After all she was alone and her husband was away working. Being cornered like that makes people make not so great decisions.
@@VixyGirl Yeah, I do get that feeling from OP's sister. So it's not her fault the family manipulated her to be this way and I imagine that the BIL was trying to teach her to stand up for herself, which she finally did 10 years later.
They put a SKID LOADER in an effing DUMP TRAILER??? Holy shit, my dad would kill me for even thinking of trying that! Those need special trailers to move, not even mentioning how insanely heavy they are! How the hell did they even get it IN a dump trailer?? We have a diesel Ford excursion and it was pushing THAT around when driving slow with the right trailer! It sounds like the dad and brother were driving normally or like they had a uhaul trailer, which driving like that would've taken them off the road on any turn and pushed them through an intersection at any red light! And don't get me started on how the tractor itself would've destroyed the dump trailer. I can't believe people can be that dumb and reckless!
In regards to the third story, I agree with the sister. My parents got engaged after six months of dating, but my mom called it off because she didn’t feel ready. A few years later they got back together and got married. Making sure you’re ready is super important, and it won’t ruin your relationship. Marriage is a huge commitment, and if you’re young, it might feel like a hinderance at points.
Anyone who thinks that marriage in the legal sense is about the law. Recognizing you as a soulmate is neither realistic enough has their head in the clouds too much and not mature enough if they think that. Because legally speaking soulmates not a real thing. They don't recognize it. It doesn't give you special protection under the law. As far as the law and a marriage license is concerned, they don't care if you absolutely hate each other. Most places have the same prerequisite to giving you a marriage license. Are you who you say you are? Are you of legal marriaging age? Are you married now. That's it. This girl does not sound mature make the commitment to having a sea monkeys let alone to getting married.
Lol "We totaled three of your vehicles and damaged your livelihood when you were away but smh it was an accident"
'You should be supportive of family..." - people who weren't supportive of family
2nd story: Oh the poetic justice of throwing the words back at the parents! So good! "You made your bed now lay in it!" *chef's kiss*
Here's something about "love" it takes 3 months (at least) to get to know someone and when you're physical with that person you release dopamine and it bonds very quickly. It will cause you to feel more in love than you actually are, that typically doesn't last, but for some people they make rush judgements of of it. Plus there are many conversations you should have before marrying someone because you need to make sure they're actually a good fit. I'm not saying 6 months can't work, it's just typically not a strong foundation and most relationships take more time than that.
You gotta always think through the other side, if your daughter would rather wait in the cold than calling you, you're doing something wrong.
Dabney's "impression" of the parents is both accurate and hillarious.
Story 4: THEY didn't out him. He was already out, because he failed to hide it. They let him know they know in the most gentle way I could think of.
Yeah like, sure he probably is feeling sensitive right now, but according to what the op says, it really seems that both parents just noticed and were waiting for it to just be said, son never does, is obviously dating, so parents kind of forget at some point that it wasn't an already entablished information
Agreed
they did you just didnt listen
I feel like more and more, People want the esthetics of coming out more then they want to be expected.
Dude's closet was made out of glass
Second Story: I wanna say NAH too. OP doesn't have to invite her sister if she doesn't want to, it's her wedding. But also, her sister is probably saying these things out of concern rather than malice. Especially since there's an age gap, and they have only dated for 6 months. It could be a really big red flag to her sister, and is worried that OP is rushing into things. Love gives you rose colored glasses, and it may be beneficial to look at things from others perspective before committing to anything. I hope OP doesn't actually uninvite her sister, she might need her support if the relationship doesn't work out.
Not only did he destroy the guys equipment, he put the one to four people hired to run that equipment out of work.
They should be in jail, the fact that BIL didn’t press charges makes him a saint. They could’ve set up a payment plan to make things right of money was so tight but nooooo, heaven forbid they face any real consequences for stealing. Don’t know why OP made the post if he didn’t want to listen to the judgement given. I mean, I know why, he was looking for validation, but still, to double down and take no accountability after hundreds of not thousands of people told you you were in the wrong, my goodness.
I have to strongly disagree with rSlash on the coming out video. If the situation had been him having a girlfriend that was obvious and his parents had said hey do you want to bring your girlfriend along? There would’ve been no problem even if he tried to deny it, and they laughed a little bit at him, denying an obvious relationship, I also feel like observing some thing that is seen is not an invasion of his privacy or any sort of. I don’t even know what the word is I don’t feel like it is a negative thing in anyway, I think the OP in that story, deserves zero out of five.
Rslash after googling the price of the dump truck changed his mind and voice.
First story: People usually call those Bobcats, even though Bobcat is the name of one of many companies that builds them. Sorta like calling facial tissues kleenex or action cameras "Go Pros"
Yeah, I didn't know what a skidloader was but I do know what a Bobcat is.
When Rslash said "it's a one person/single seat dumptruck..."
Me: But... but that's a Bobcat bro...
I've always called them and heard them be called skid steers
genericide lol
Story 4: The son is likely butthurt that his attempt at stealthing his relationship was completely obvious. Yes it is his fully right to come out when he is most comfortable, but I am guessing that his actions were so obvious that OP was legitimately surprised when her son tried to deny it. Also the laughing may not have been totally appropriate but when someone says something that you know is obviously a lie, you are allowed to respond with humor at the fact that it is so unlikely to be true
I feel like we should start teaching it at kindergarten level that marriage is a LEGAL CONTRACT. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone what matters is if you are both suitable to enter a legal contract with each other . Love is nice and a bonus but it’s just that a bonus . The essence of a marriage is the legal contract you are entering .
But this legal contract will prove to everyone that they're soul mates! It's right there in section 4, subsection C. The soulmates clause.
How can you disregard that, you monster!!?
The bad thing is that there's 3 types of relationships
The good one
The one that doesn't realize marriage is a legal contract
The one that *knows* that marriage is a legal contract...
The rate of divorce is extremely high among people who get married before 1 year of dating, so I'd definitely say the sister was in the right. OP is incredibly immature to get married that quickly
Gay son story: It's not her business, but he's making it pretty obvious that he's gay. He is making it her business if he's being cutesey with him in front of his mom. Maybe that's sort of his way to silently tell her he's gay?
Since he's a minor his love life is her business actually.
@@mariposa9506 Oh yeah I agree! I was trying to say that it doesn’t make sense to say it’s not her business when her son is a minor and he’s making it obvious that he’s gay. I should have worded it better lol.
@@mariposa9506 unless it's an illegal age gap, no it's Not her business.
@@VixyGirlNot sure your house rules growing up, but in my parents house and now in my house the parents have a say in what age you start dating, meeting and approving a boyfriend or girlfriend before letting your child go out with them, communicating to your child about how to be safe and explaining them your own principles about when to have sex, and monitoring your relationship behaviour to ensure a healthy balance in your life. It's your right to not allow your minor child to have sex in your house. It's your right and responsibility not to let couples sleep together as minors. My teen sons friends sleep over, his girlfriends do not. It's one of many responsibilities loving parents have to create healthy boundaries for their children. To not do so is neglect.
the gay dude story is funny he wants it to be dramatic like in the movies but can't because his family is supportive, WTF you have the best case scenario so take what you get
Yeah, I want to know why rslash gave OP 1.5 AH when all she did was ask questions, she didn't plan on outing him or anything.
@@nanakwame1122 i think they are making here outing as "to talk about it" because otherways i don't know how anybody is being it, like is because the parents talked about it between themselves or op talked about it to the son himself
Story 4: as a closeted bi myself, I know my familly wouldn't be supportive of me if I told them I like guys, but not just guys.. I wish my parents would be so lighthearted like that and just randomly said to me 'they already know and they don't care', that's basically what OP meant by their actions.. It's not like they went and outed their son to the entire family or something, it was between the two of them, but also OP's kid is entitled to feel however he feels, it's his life. I believe is a NAH situation.
Story where OP’s mom and dad abandoned her : your impression of the BEEPS that are OP’s parents is AWESOME Rslash!!! Hit the nail on the head with that 👍😂
Last story: OP said he was angry, but he never said he was angry at his daughter. Granted he inappropriately took it out on her, but he was probably angry at the school for abandoning her.
That seems like a correct assessment, he probably got angry because the daughter put herself on unnecesary danger, she could have been kidnapped a no one would have known until the dad went for her and she weren't anywhere to be found. That's a pretty good reason to be angry at your own children's stupidity.
Either OP is actually abusive... or the daughter just didn't think to call and then had to invent a lie on the spot to not look like an idiot, which failed. We won't know for sure
@@DoomedMarine666
Making assumptions about other peoples behaviour and intentions without even attempting to ask first may have been adding fuel to that fire.
@@shykorustotora I'm pretty sure we all have done stupid shit and being called out for it also and semi-tangently people default to see any figure of authority as abusive in general, and a teenager's judgement isn't really that good to begin with either.
As someone who was once in a similar situation to OP's kid, there's definitely more to this story.
Also, calling your kid an idiot for not asking you for help isn't the way to make them feel like they can ask you for help
Last story. If someone I cared about thought I'd be angry about that I'd be ashamed of myself
In the marriage story- it seems like the sister knows something about the fiancé and she isn’t sharing. Like she’s cautioning without trying to hurt her sister
Story 1: Burn down OPs house. I'd say the same thing for story 2 parents but they're already homeless.
I have a similar story to the first.
Over the pandemic my grandfather passed away, my father went to go get his stuff (for a bit of context my aunt had really shown her true color in when my grandfather died.) He willed his small truck me and while me and my dad were loading it onto the trailer to take it home we realized the owners manual and title were gone. Now my grandfather was known for keeping his cars clean, and having the owners manual in the glove box. We look all around the truck for the manual and give up, and load it onto the trailer to get it home. A few months later my aunt sends me a big box for my birthday, and yep its the manual for my truck that has been laying around her house for a few months. Due to that and her pretty much yelling and arguing with me about other stuff is why I have held a grudge about the manual and don't have much to fo with her
story 4: if the son's closet was made out of glass, I don't think it's OP's fault for noticing. Coming out is about privacy, sure, but the concern for privacy comes from the fear of violence. If his family is totally supportive and pays no mind to his sexuality, I say OP has done nothing wrong.
Ultimately, the point of acceptance is not to have everyone come out, it's to the remove the need to come out entirely and view different sexualities as a fact of life, not a spectacle to spur drama.
OP in the first story is so entitled he truly doesn’t understand that his bil could’ve sued his brother and father so hard but didn’t choose to. His family is so lucky all they have is a grudge.
Outing my son story: NTA. She didn't out him to anyone, she only realised and discussed it with him privately. Additionally, a child's relationship absolutely is their parents business. Not that they need to know everything but if the child keeps too many secrets, something bad might be going on
2nd story: "Oh no, it's the consequences of my own actions!!"
OP's parents can get bent. You don't get to ghost your daughter and then act all surprised when that daughter does the same to you
Here’s my thing with the outing story. Dude, if you’re gonna get all upset about it then don’t make it obvious. If you’re any to stay in the closet till you’re ready, don’t sit so close on the couch you’re basically cuddling, or make it known you’re buying gifts. If you want it to be a secret, then be secretive
The first op and his family should’ve at least gone on a payment plan to show that they’re sorry and will try to make it up even if it takes years. They are at fault and should’ve at least attempted to make it right.
With the last story it really showed that you were an english major reminded me of how english teachers get all of these hidden meanings that the author didn't put there, op is a parent and just learnt that his daughter was sitting in the cold for TWO HOURS, so it makes sense that his emotions flared up and some of these emotion very easily can become anger that was then misplaced with the daughter, but in essence op has a very human parental reaction and you very quickly go to abusive
I feel like the OP in the Outing My Son post is being judged too harshly. Here’s a comment (4th best) from the post that adequately puts together why I think OP isn’t an AH, way better than anything I could’ve written:
As a gay man, some of yall need to get over yourselves.
NTA.
Yes he had to come out at an unexpected moment, but maybe don't suck so bad at hiding it? I mean it's terrible we have to hide anything at all, but if you're not ready for people to know, don't go around showing off things that obviously give it away and then get mad when someone has connected the dots, especially if that someone isn't even being malicious about it and has no way of being aware of what the entire situation even means. You're punishing an ally, that we desperately need as many of as we can get. I mean really, with fascism bearing down on us yall want to scream at the mother who just told her son "honey, you're not as inconspicuous as you think you are".
OP, it looks like you're a loving parent and had no ill will towards your child. There is a lot of fear and uncertainty involved with coming out and since your child is now realizing he may not have that security any more, those emotions are getting charged. The best thing to do (based on what I felt I wanted before I came out) is to just continue to show him that it makes no difference in your love and support of him.
4th story def NTA. The thing is, son is upset that somehow that the parents take him being gay as something normal, nothing special. He wants to be a special star, have a coming out, being "brave and shit".
The delivery of "what do you think, am I close" should win an Emmy for best comedy performance
Man, with families like these, who even needs enemies?!