I (F25) went no contact with my family (M54, F50, and M20) when I was 18. Now they are reaching...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
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Story: I (F25) went no contact with my family (M54, F50, and M20) when I was 18. Now they are reaching out. What should I do?
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![[FUll STORY] AITAH For telling my parents they were horrible and saying they shouldn't have more...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/b1GAtK2eJl4/mqdefault.jpg)
![[FUll STORY] AITAH For telling my parents they were horrible and saying they shouldn't have more...](/img/tr.png)
Lol. They destroyed your childhood and call you a bad daughter because you didn’t run back to them?
Tell every relative the whole story - cheating and all - and how they neglected you their entire life because your mom is cheater and your dad is a coward, and now they feel guilty, but don’t actually care about the harm they did. They just want to say they’re sorry, and have absolution of their guilt.
The OP's decision to go NC with her own family is totally worth it in more ways than one because their actions spoke louder than words plus the OP was better off letting them know what she maybe a horrible daughter but her own family made her that way so they have themselves to blame for that reality being played out as is, problem solved right there period.
First of all, neglect *IS* abuse.
Second of all, what you should do is exactly what you have been doing since high school. Your position on being in contact with them shouldn’t change just because they finally want it. In fact, going NC with people who won’t give you the time of day is easy… they take care of it for you. Going NC only matters if there’s some kind of desire for contact for you to refuse.
They’re sick with regret with how they mistreated you over a misunderstanding…. So? They SHOULD be sick with regret over how they mistreated you. And since none of them EVER showed you that they cared, you never had a reason to bond with them. So now they get to live with the consequences of that fact. Your father didn’t want to take a paternity test, because he feared finding out you weren’t his, and he might mistreat you. Instead, he didn’t do the one thing that would have resolved the whole mess… and mistreated you anyway. It was easier for him to emotionally abuse a child, than be a responsible adult, get the necessary information to make an informed decision, and actually parent HIS CHILD.
Someone ignores you, they’re teaching you how to live without them. It took you 18 yrs to learn that lesson, but you learned it. And now, they’re not coming to offering friendship and love, they’re coming to you demanding re-entry into your life, and access to your child. But what do they even bring to the table. Any kindness they show you now just reminds you of the unkindness they showed you before, and the moronic and cowardly reason they had for it.
Personally I feel like the damage has been done.
They have a lot of grovelling to do.
How they treat an innocent child speaks volumes as to who they are. If op wasn't his, it still doesn't justify harming and neglecting op, but she's his and now they want to kiss and make up? They are nasty parents regardless
There is a very special place for those parents.
even if OP was her uncle daughter what is her moms excuse she's the one that had an affair shouldn't she have treated OP right and even if she was an affair baby why do people always take it out on the child
Exactly! It’s your dang screw up! Not the kids! Don’t blame the kid for your stupidity, people!
@nameplayer1571 it requires a real man (an actual masculine man, not what soyciety or women say what masculinity is/should be) to love and raise any child, especially their own children. OP dad is a not even a good man, much less a real one. Everyone needs self respect to maintain and improve mental health among other things, men especially as guys have zero fallback plans meanwhile women don't even have to respect their bodies or their children and some emotionally and constitutionally weak but wealthy guy is still going to try to marry her. OPs dad has no self respect first for taking back a cheater, second, refusal to get the paternity test after the affair was confirmed, third agreeing to raise this child outside of his terms, or comfort zone, safe space compromised, with zero consideration to his own mental health and wellbeing, and fourth, and I really need you to focus your eyes on this , PUNISHING THE CHILD FOR THE SINS OF HIS CHEATING HARLOY, WHOM HE HIMSELF REFUSED TO HOLD ACCOUNTABLE BY REWARDING ALL OF HER TRANSGRESSIONS AND DISRESPECT BY RUG SWEEPING. I'd be p!$$3d and cut them off too if I was OP.
@nameplayer1571he should've done the test, there was a 50/50 chance she was the father's daughter (50/50 is an extremely high possibility, but these jerks lack brainpower). They all resorted to hating the child instead of hating themselves for weakness and idiocy
You don't need people who will ostracized someone over a "misunderstanding". But OP's dad shouldn't have accepted her if he wasn't going to treat op as his own. And if mom wanted to be a family with dad she should have fought for it. Finding out it was a "mistake" the whole time is not making it up to OP. Sad part OP probably could have done better had the parents nurtured her like they did her brother.
Im nc with a family member. I told her she abused me for 30yrs, call me in another 30 of making it up to me. Every few years i get a call from her but its the same script I've gotten since we were kids. There's no change in her behavior, or habits. No remorse for all the things she did to me or to others. Just dialogue of her telling me how she is and everything happening in her life.....
Of course she hasn't started making It up to me so everytime she calls her 30yr timer is reset. I think I'm being generous since every message is just her still keeping me in her circle of abuse.
So your mom couldn’t keep her legs closed got pregnant by her husband’s brother and they both blamed you. Just keep them out of your life they are not worth it
“Chicken nuggets for brains,” I love that 😂. I’m going to start using that LMAO
With chicken nuggets for brains 💀💀💀
The nerve of them to call their several decades long mistreatment of OP a "mistake", and then calling her cruel for not just getting over it and welcoming them back into her life. The hypocrisy is absurd.
Family: you are cruel and heartless.
OP: I learned from the best - you.
Just think if they are all harassing OP still then broadcast why NC on parents to every family member and let them deal with the fallout.
Personally, i am of the opinion of if someone has reached NC status, they should stay that way. If they truly wish to apologise, you can tell them thank you for the apology, but i dont want to change how things are. If you contact me again, i will consider it harassment and follow legal procedure to have a no contact order, all i want is to be left alone, and go back to how we were before, ignoring each others existence. Im NC with 2 of my siblings, and i just dont have anything to talk about with the 3rd one, and they are more stranger than family at this point
"They rushed him to the UMMMM."
😂😂
Hell no, they have the golden child and it's his job to support them for the rest of his life. Don't bother with them after everything they have done
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At the risk of sounding cruel, if OP’s mom wasn’t sure who the father was, why did she go through with the pregnancy? Or better yet have asked for a paternity test as soon as she could? OP is 25, paternity tests back then wouldn’t have been hard to obtain.
What's the point in letting them back in you life when they know nothing about you. When you have never been considered to be part of the family the individual detaches themselves through time. Even if ops family were to be part of her life she would still feel like a stranger and she would still feel like it's a forced family relationship. It never works because you have gotten used to being alone and ignored by family. Ops family were never there through her milestones, they weren't at her HS graduation and probably not even at her weeding. They probably weren't even part of ops daughters birth, they din't even considered ops family at all, why let them in when they were never really there to begin with. I think it's dumb that the brother is trying to reconcile with his sister after all those years of ignoring op and being the favorite. He could have had a sibling relationship with her many years ago but he din't, that's on him and its his fault for believing a lie.
The parents shouldn't get mad that their only daughter is detached from them, they made that happened and conditioned op to never be close or bother with them. Op is right, since she was never ever really seen as a daughter or sister and never considered her existence then they should forget that she ever existed. They should leave her alone and give her the space she needs to process their stupidity and actions towards her. She might forgive them one day but the damage is to deep and the neglect she experienced never ever goes away. It will always be a reminder everytime she thinks about them or if she sees them one day. The trust is gone and I would not like to expose that kind of people to my kids, the hurt is too deep. The parents need to respect ops decision if they care about her at all. The one time that a paternity test could have been done to avoid all the emotional damage was completely disregard because ops father was scared that op was not his. Yep he messed up and now parents have to live with the consequences of their actions. They must feel so stupid in missing on all of ops happy and special moments in her life. You can't get that back and it only happens once in life. They messed up bad and only wish a lot of happiness and success in ops life and family.
This story first came out 4 years ago and was admitted to be completely fake by the real op. This 2024 update thing is pathetic
lol I hate them and don’t even know these people😂😂