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The Office Gets Therapized... Again
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 มี.ค. 2022
- The Office Gets Therapized... Again //
What do you do if your relationship is crumbling? The Dinner Party episode with Michael and Jan, showcases a toxic relationship and in this video, we will explore how you can respond when it's your own relationship, or watching someone you know. Watch Therapized with Jonathan Decker, and The Office.
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Next, watch Jim and Pam Get Therapized • Jim and Pam Get Therap...
• The Office Gets Therap...
"Dinner Party" is possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the history of TV
Idk, the theatre episode of IT crowd is up there too
Ozymandias
@@liul omg, I am so glad you mentioned that episode! 😂😅😁 'cause I literally couldn't stop laughing when I watched it...every time. the weak squeaky voice when he says "I'm disabled" and "Acid"... 😂brilliant! 100/10
I believed that as well until I saw Mr Robot's last season and 4x07 episode - "407 Proxy Authentication Required". It revolves like a theatre play and it is genius.
fr
I love how Jim made an excuse to get them out, and Pam was smiling instead of getting alarmed about the "emergency" because she could see what he was doing, but when it turned into getting just him out, she was like, "you're NOT leaving me alone here"
The camera in the bedroom reminds me of something from an earlier episode. Michael was telling his coworkers about how toxic his relationship with Jan is and mentions that she records them having physical intimacy so she can play the tape back afterwards to give him a performance review. Yikes!
Doesn't Michael also say that she shows the tapes to her therapist?
I really hope Michael has misunderstood something there because if that's the case... What kind of psychiatrist would allow that??? 😱
yeah i think that's the point of the canera there its a callback without actually talking about it
@@atinity6749 Honestly, with Jens whole vibe in that episode, "therapist" probably doesn't mean "licensed psychiatrist" and is more something along the lines of a sleazy life coach or guru.
@@atinity6749Jan’s therapist also told her to indulge in her self destructive tendencies so…
@@kevinjohnanandwhich does not sound at all like something a therapist would say. Ever.
The Dinner Party is my favorite episode. It's so awkward throughout, the night just gets worse and worse, until Jan finally uses a Dundee to break the portable television. And then it starts to resolve. Michael goes home with Dwight as that goofy song by Hunter plays, "that one night, you made everything alright". It's the lowest point for Michael, but after this everything will get better. He can stop pretending everything is great because that fake image has been shattered. Now, he can move onto something real.
I mean, that is what happens. He meets Holly the very next episode, who he ends up with
It is a masterpiece of awkward comedy
And he found that something real with Holly Flax :)
It’s the tension finally exploding over and he’s got friends like Dwight who will do donuts until he calms down.
I've been around those couples that shoved every single ounce of anger and animosity against each other into one syllable - BABE.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is possibly my favorite episode of the Office. The older you get the more slightly less hyperbolic versions of this episode you end up in.
I tried looking up Hunter's "That One Night" song on Spotify for fun.
I couldn't find it then, but I did find a playlist someone made that was a bunch of different songs whose titles created the opening lyrics.
Pretty hilarious.
"Underneath all anger is actually a hidden emotion..." That's BRILLIANT! So true! Also, "...listen to music, but not Hunter's music." 🤣🤣
It’s so true what you said about getting at what’s underneath the anger because there’s always something underneath it like sadness, shame, betrayal, etc my therapist says this all the time that anger is not a primary emotion because there’s always something behind it.
Thank you for adding betrayal - I was looking for it
@@AutumnTehKitty no problem!
Jan is a toxic person. She used Michael from the very beginning. There was no saving their relationship. She abused him and he needed to escape. Sadly he thought he loved her and needed her. Their relationship is the saddest one I have ever seen.
Sadly, that's what often happens to people who have small esteem or just generally haven't been in a lot of relationships. Been there, done that. We sometimes get so desperate to hold on to someone - anyone - that we will do anything to keep them in our orbit.We just don't want to be alone again. Like Michael. It's never healthy.
She started off ok, but collapsed on herself like a dying star
If you're talking from the very beginning (i.e season 2), they were both toxic: Michael would constantly cross the boundaries Jan set both professionally and personally.
The way you talk about psychology and therapy has inspired me so much since i started watching your videos :) always interesting, inspiring and in a positive light. I'm now in my first year of university as a psychology student and so excited for the future ^^ ty for putting this kind of content out there!!
My family is very passive aggressive and conflict avoidant. Whenever I try to be an affirmer and have a tough but civil conversation, they spiral out into defensiveness and martyrdom. So now I just sit in silence and watch them inflict pain on each other and my poor baby niece, and it's so depressing and agonizing. What do you do when no one else works to be an affirmer? It takes at least two to have the conversation, but what do you do when one party acts in bad faith and refuses to work on anything? I think I'm going to become a mute.
This passive-aggressive buildup is in my house almost all the time between my mom and everyone else
Dinner Party is an objectively amazing episode, but I've always found it hard to watch because it reminds me of my emotionally abusive ex.
You made my day a whole lot better now that there's a new Mended Light video. Thank you for putting out such great videos
This started off just being a fun thing to watch you react to but ended up being awesome advice. Thankyou :) I jabr to really avoid being passive aggressive because I HATE it when people do it to me. I do it sometimes in my relationship with my partner and I really have to take a step back and be like 'ok that wasn't fair.' I'll either apologise at the time or I'll make sure to make a point of apologising later.
But not in my romantic relationship...I had a co-worker who was so passive aggressive at me all of the time. I don't know what about me he didn't like but he did it so often, so cheerfully and so aggressively (If that makes sense) that it got out of my control and culminated in me bursting out crying and having to go home. But the insidious thing about that passive aggressive stuff is it really wears you down...I was already vulnerable from doing night duty and having a sore foot and if they get in and really turn the screws I can imagine how quickly that kills a relationship if it is your tactic for getting aggression out
It's a lot to ask of yourself to play fair when someone else is using subversive tactics! I'm sorry you have a coworker that does this, you don't deserve it, but don't blame yourself too harshly for your reaction, that is an incredibly difficult situation to be in! I don't have advice, just sympathy! I'm sorry!
I'm curious about the idea that anger always has an underlying, vulnerable emotion driving it. I can see that often being the case, but at the same time, it does seem like there are situations that just prompt a sort of pure anger that can arise out of total selflessness... Like an empowering righteous anger that drives you to fight an injustice, even when it doesn't affect you directly at all. Is that recognized as an "only anger" emotion, or does it still have to have something else underneath it?
It would have pain underneath it. Pain, indignation, frustration, self righteousness
I would love to see your take on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, especially after she starts getting therapy. The way they tackle mental health in the later season is noteworthy... and musical. 😃
Hey Mended Light! I was sent here by Cinema Therapy
This is one of my favorites. Especially the bedroom tour. Michael's sleep bench
I have been waiting for you to review this episode for so long! I knew it had to come eventually, and it did not dissapoint.
Such a special show. And this episode… so good. Now I’m going to have that song stuck in my head again 😂
When my friend was with her ex girlfriend this was similar to how they would be during social gatherings. It would be so awkward and so infuriating because she's like a sister to me.
Pam the entire time:"Oh ok wow, um there's a lot to unpack there."
I feel like I have grown into an affermer after years of being avoidant, but I notice that people do not take me seriously during conflict resolution. As if people are literally not hearing the words that come out of my mouth. I try to always match criticism of others with criticism of myself in the situation and try to come at issues from a place where I recognize my own culpability in the problem at hand, but I feel as though I am left without any change in the situation and thus without any resolve.
How do we find the right measure of direct communication where in we not only express what we think the problem is but how hurt we are when our interlocutor(s) only seem to exhibit and apparently respond to rash anger.
I am at a loss of what to do in my life regarding a specific situation where this comes up. It seems that I am either totally misunderstood or made to be the scapegoat for anger when I try to affect actual change. I feel so hurt and alone and no matter what I do, I can't change the situation for the better.
I feel this comment in my bones. Conflict resolution also makes me feel empty.
You’re matured beyond whoever this other person is and there’s no telling if that person will ever mature, it takes great introspection to change in this way. I’m sorry if you’re still going through it, but if it’s a relationship it may be time to calmly state everything you just said to them and if they respond in rage/anger you have your answer.
I'd be curious about your thoughts on Jan's therapist recommending she indulge her negative desires leading to her relationship with Michael.
This is one of my favorite episodes
This is an excellent follow up to The Bachelor video. 😄
Can you please talk about Simon from bridgerton.
Mild Spoilers......................................................................
Simon promised his father he would never marry and have children because the father was abusive. Simon falls in love and it being the 1800s he can't be with the woman he love without marriage. Please watch and talk about the fear of becoming your parents and living for revenge on a dead abuser.
And the horrifying consequences of having your spouse rape you and then blame you for their actions.
This is the episode I rarely laugh because it's fun, I laugh as a soothing method for discomfort. Anyway, incredible episode, great writing.
You took me by the haaaand 😆
Oh I do enjoy watching you watch my favorite shows.
Those sort of awkward, cringy, passive-aggressive situations trigger my anxiety something terrible. I was literally saying “please don’t make us watch any more of that” at the screen by the time the last clip ended… I’m a people pleaser who grew up with a very emotionally manipulative and passive-aggressive parent in my life, and it shows.
On the up side, I can definitely say I’m an affirmer at this point in my life. It’s taken a lot of work, and I’ll never stop being a people pleaser at heart, but I’ve learned to be accountable for myself without accepting responsibility for others, I do my best to be direct and respectful in life and especially in conflicts. I’ve learned to handle conflict and remain calm even when I’m trembling inside. I’m not a doormat anymore. I still struggle to defend boundaries, but I keep getting better with time. It’s encouraging to see how far I’ve come because I used to be passive-aggressive and hold things in and be too afraid of rejection or upsetting others to talk about things that bothered me or even ask for much of anything.
…I didn’t expect to write this much… lol
I love the Mended Light and Cinema Therapy videos. The way things get broken down and explained is easy to understand and follow, and have certainly helped me as I continue to work on myself. Thanks so much for being here!!
I love that you are doing this, but I can't watch that episode. So painful.
God I love this episode so much. So much cringe, and I still can watch it every month and never get tired of it.
Pleeeease do Ryan and Kelly lol
Now i know what is that strange feeling i got from watching sketch from this show.
I dont' like awkward.
Thanks!
P.S. In fact, I can't comprehend that awkward is an emotion people can enjoy.
That's why I prefer Meet the Fockers to Meet the Parents. The sequel has a ridiculousness about its awkwardness that makes it more funny. The first one just makes me feel really sorry for Greg in pretty much every scene!
Yes oh my God. For whiever likes it that's wonderful but I recently watched The Office with some friends for the first time and it was awful (for me).
I'm normally easily amused but this damn thing is so hard to laugh to (for me), it's just awkward.
It's painfully awkward and uncomfortable at all times, usually in the worst ways.
The characters are almost all mildly annoying to insufferable.
The situations are awful. It's not even interesting.
The camera movement (though it has a good purpose) gave me headaches.
Why are many people obsessed with this I do not know.
Jan also hates Michael’s TV because she knows it’s embarrassing…if it was huge she would have bragged about it
Interesting analysis. Makes me think about my parents to be honest, passive aggressiveness definitely happens.
The Office's website had a list of Jan's candles. One was a Hunter candle, and another was "clean jeans." That camera is a callback to the Ladies' Day episode in Season 3. Michael told the women from the office that Jan would tape them having $ex and then critique him; he also stated he doesn't like wearing the schoolgirl uniform.
Could you please do a Video on Parentified Children?
I've heard so many people say they can't watch this episode cuz it's so cringey and awkward but I love it so much 🤣
For me the Scott's Tots episode is peak cringe 😂
I once had an internship where my boss and his wife were like this to a tee. They'd get on the loudspeakers during public events just to say how much they loved each other but bickered passive aggressively every chance they got, no matter who was present
I am shocked that they are still together
The office? Never heard of it, might check it out
What do you do when you both bounce back and forth but your partner can rarely (if ever cause I legit can't think of a time but would like to believe that it's happened) seem to ever manage the affirmer aspect. Just a few days ago I got mad because frozen food got left out and defrosted all night. I'm talking meat, frozen shrimp etc. I have no clue if I can still use it we had literally just bought it and I was on a meeting when he brought the food in the house (we had gone shopping together and I actually hoped on the meeting as we left the store)and the excuse I got when I confronted him (cause I had found it) was "oh I didn't know it was in the box" (even though the frozen stuff he'd specifically picked out made it in there) and "I thought you had taken care of it". Mind you I had assumed the frozen stuff at least had been put away and was fine thinking the other stuff hadn't. I had gone upstairs to finish the meeting while kiddo and he ate dinner and I put kiddo to bed after. We never discussed it again (after my "wtf is this") moment and that day he proceeded to jump right into playing War Thunder as soon as the work day was over for 5ish hours. I can't talk to him cause I'm either ignored or he shuts down and withdraws. I'm at a point where talking to air seems more productive.
Do Burn Notice
The show kind of crossed a line for me whenever they went to someone's home and the people were still these awful awkward caricatures of themselves. They did it first with Dwight's farm, I think. And this dinner scene was where I mostly tuned out for the rest of the show. The comedy and style of the thing just doesn't work for me, and seems mean, when it's not taking place in, and wryly making light of, the world of bureaucracy.
Cool video on it, though. Thanks!
When you say "I'm going to let you have this space, and then resent how you use it" Can you expand on how to move past that? My husband has his gaming set up in our living room. I don't love it, but there isn't really another place for it to be. I find myself annoyed when he gets all these posters and shelves for his corner, because it makes the living room look strange to have so much decor in one area. But, when you said that, I wondered if it was a different issue for me entirely.
Watching these clips of the office show me how glad I am that I never wasted time watching it. So many people told me it got so much better after the first season, but I don't see that.
"Hunter clearly slept with Jan" said by someone who doesn't even watch the show
If only Jan's only problem was being passive aggressive and not an affirmer. She is deeply troubled, like maybe psychotic. She has so much she needed to work on before she even got with Michael. Would you say in real life you should just not even start relationships with people like her? Or if you find yourself suddenly in one like poor Michael is there any point in even trying to fix things?
Pam, Roy and Jim next
I hate this episode but Pam’s line “I don’t care what they say about me I just wanna eat… which I know is a lot to ask for … at a dinner’s party”
Also lol at Jim’s confessional about making everybody uncomfortable
Having seen couples so close to me act this way or friendships that needed some serious work… I could barely handle this episode. Because I don’t see it as funny it just feels too real.
Also I thought people didn’t take house guests into their ensuite when they are doing the house tour because… you might see some things that you don’t need to see.
To be fair, Michael's "bed" was in did, a lot bigger than it seemed
Wait, didn't she lose her career because of him...?
you remind me of "Illness Of Dr. Howard Asher, Dr. Karlyn Borysenko" on bitchite
Jan never really liked Michael and in turn he didn't like her; I don't think that relationship could be saved. Michael also mentioned in passing that Jan ignored his safe word i.e. Jan raped him. No coming back from that.