Jim and Pam Get Therapized with Jonathan Decker

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2021
  • Jim and Pam Get Therapized with Jonathan Decker //
    America's sweethearts- they were such a perfect couple but then, their marriage almost got destroyed. Watch this video to see how we would help them.
    JimAndPamGetTherapized
    #Therapized
    #MendedLight
    • Jim and Pam Get Therap...

ความคิดเห็น • 200

  • @rachelhansen2417
    @rachelhansen2417 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1265

    I love that John put his foot down and prevented a scene of Jim cheating from being filmed. This was a much less traditional storyline for film to go with, and it works.

    • @jasmingovers4403
      @jasmingovers4403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It really does!

    • @Ozloz
      @Ozloz ปีที่แล้ว +51

      It’s also just like super out of character for Jim?? Like, I can’t imagine Jim even doing anything that hurts someone that much, unless he was oblivious to it

    • @Schu0086
      @Schu0086 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Agreed. Jim is typically not impulsive. His nature is to assess the situation before acting. He wouldn’t cheat on a whim and he would be fully aware of how it would hurt his partner. I can’t see that cruelty coming from him.

    • @bmxrichard21
      @bmxrichard21 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@Schu0086
      It also made the plot so believable and "strong".
      He had two jobs also to make his family better off, yet he didn't notice that they were losing their husband and father.
      Good Intention, but the result could have been the same as if he cheated on Pam.
      To realise this in time takes a great deal of wit, intelligence, insight and also luck and love.
      Fortunately, Jim had all of these (and the show has been showing us this all along, so it was completely natural).

  • @tanadarko6991
    @tanadarko6991 2 ปีที่แล้ว +938

    The line about her being "so blocked up" is so true. I've seen marriages end and Jim almost waited too long. I don't want to be vulnerable anymore with a person who has blown off that vulnerability again and again. WHo doesn't see me. This whole arc was amazing.
    My little brother just got married and the advice I gave in my speech was that the times you want to be vulnerable the least is the time you probably need to be the most.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +168

      That's a terrific insight! May I share that?

    • @tanadarko6991
      @tanadarko6991 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      @@MendedLight Yes of course!

    • @sigthom3711
      @sigthom3711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Please make a separate video about this comment here!!! PLEASE

    • @marisartin-tarm102
      @marisartin-tarm102 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      that is pretty great advice! thank you for sharing that here. Most people I know don't follow this, sadly.

    • @lCoolPartner
      @lCoolPartner 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I didnt understand...not native english speaker. Please explain

  • @chibigirl8545
    @chibigirl8545 2 ปีที่แล้ว +392

    I love how he holds on and just keeps holding on until she can "feel it".

  • @tepes3517
    @tepes3517 2 ปีที่แล้ว +445

    I would love love love to see a schits creek family gets therapized. They make so much progress over the course of the series and it would be really comforting.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      That is a fantastic suggestion, thanks!

  • @currently_heather243
    @currently_heather243 2 ปีที่แล้ว +620

    I loved Jim and Pam so much and watched the office all the way through. When I saw them struggling, I thought it was such an important thing to include in the show - to really emphasize that even the relationships that seem utterly perfect will go through trials.
    Love your analysis and work Mended Light Team :)

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Thank you! We really appreciate your comment, and are glad that you are enjoying our videos!

    • @naturallyamused
      @naturallyamused 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I agree -- I was really impressed they showed them realistically struggling. How many couples out there start off with seemingly a perfect start, but kids and jobs and interests start to drive a wedge... this was really well done and I loved it.

  • @pigpjs
    @pigpjs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    When I first saw this episode I was in my early 20s and I remember being upset by it. Now that I am in my mid 30s and married, their marriage struggles were one of most realistic depictions of marriage. Most of my friends who got divorced, divorced for seemingly small things that built up over time.

  • @WinterFoxes22
    @WinterFoxes22 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    The scene with the hug outside the taxi makes me cry every time. It’s such raw genuine hurting love and there didn’t need to be any words spoken in that moment, it was just so powerful.

  • @TravellerMel
    @TravellerMel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    I think it's important to show that a relationship doesn't just culminate with a wedding - there needs to be care, concern, and work after that day to keep the relationship alive.

  • @angelearichardson5555
    @angelearichardson5555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    I LOVE season 9 of The Office specifically for the Jim and Pam storyline. It is SO much more realistic. It was so beautiful to see a couple that people consider to be "goals", go through trials, only to come out of it stronger at the other end. It gave me so much hope for my own relationship.

    • @puppycatsbee
      @puppycatsbee ปีที่แล้ว

      awweee i love that for youu 🥹🫶 (and i completely agree!!)

  • @SCordova19
    @SCordova19 2 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    This storyline I really liked because it was the first time I saw Jim behave in a way that wasn’t great. It was the first time I saw flaws in Jim. From the beginning he backed her into a corner with the new company, he told/asked her about it after he’d already said yes and had been actively working on it. Then he didn’t acknowledge how much she was sacrificing to make his dreams come true. I’m glad they made it in the end.

  • @jenniferdonald5166
    @jenniferdonald5166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    Coming over from Jonathan Decker's other channel to watch some of his Mended Light videos, and all I can say is Wow... The raw emotion, the tears, the vulnerability, all of it... Thank you. For making it okay to be vulnerable! That it's okay to BE human. Thank you.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      You're very welcome! Thank you for joining us here :)

  • @itzesmi
    @itzesmi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    My husband’s love language is touch
    And mine isn’t or I trained myself as a child not to be as not to feel needy.
    This is the first time Jim & Pam make me cry. I’ve seen it so many times.
    I couldn’t relate until recently.
    I am trying to hard to give affection back because I know it means a lot to him. Kind words and hugs.
    We’re continually learning.
    Love your videos!

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      You are in a good position, that you even recognize this about yourself, because you are in a healthy position to grow both in yourself, and in your relationship with your husband. Have you read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? It is a brilliant book that really is eye opening. When you are choosing to touch your husband, you are loving him in a way that matters to him, and it helps him to feel secure in your relationship, and so loved.

    • @AmaraJordanMusic
      @AmaraJordanMusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Kudos for acknowledging his need and working on your comfort level with reciprocation. My secondary love language is touch, and especially when I'm in pain (I have chronic pain), or my depression is bad, it's incredibly reassuring and anchoring to be hugged, or have a hand on my shoulder or knee, or holding hands. Positive touch disrupts the pain signals, so it's therapeutic, but it's also just a reassurance thing. It's like curling up in a warm blanket when it's cold out; its refuge from the world.
      My husband was sort of... trained not to show emotion, and what he deemed excessive displays were frowned upon. He didn't realize how much it hurt my feelings for him to say, "Again??" when I'd ask him to hug me, or "Right now?" But... he wants to help me, and feels like there's not much he can do to improve things, medically speaking. But this, he can do. And knowing how important to me it is, how happy it makes me, makes him feel appreciated and needed in return. It's really helped us feel closer to each other, and lessened some strain. It felt like a rejection when he didn't want to hug me, like I wasn't important enough for him to turn and hug me, or like I was ridiculous or babyish for needing support, and it really hurt. It never stopped stinging the whole year and a half it was a problem. Each time was just as painful. But seeing that he's put thought and time and effort into working on his behavior to make me happier? That's hugely validating, hugs or no. Showing that he cares makes a big difference. Kudos, again, for making an effort. I hope things are going well and that you guys are happy!

    • @MayBlake_Channel
      @MayBlake_Channel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      There should be a Facebook group for women with husbands whose love language is touch, hahaha. That hug interaction is me and my husband for sure. I've always hated being touched, and often he's trying to show me love and I just feel irritated. Even though I know what he's trying to do, it just doesn't sink in

  • @marchingham
    @marchingham 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    I LOVED their marriage issues and resolution. The stuff with the camera guy was kinda lame but the rest was great. It was so real and so wonderful to see them come through it stronger. I was sadly the Jim in this situation but it all worked out for the best. Yay for realistically portrayed relationships!

    • @the_only_living_ghost
      @the_only_living_ghost 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I think the stuff with the cameraman was really realistic. Both Jim and Pam had moments where they felt distant from each other and turned to someone else. Either for emotional support or for excitement. And that’s very true to real life. The important part is that they both realized that what they needed was to turn to each other.
      The cameraman was so nice though! I think he was super hot too

    • @marchingham
      @marchingham 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@the_only_living_ghost don't get me wrong. The camera man as a character was definitely hot and nice ha. It made complete sense for her to turn to someone (and I kind of loved that he developed a crush on her after all this time with her in the documentary. That was ridiculously cute.) Had they referenced him even once or twice throughout the series I think it would have been really powerful, but as it stands the guy was clearly invented by the writers last minute and that kind of lost me. But it's a tv show haha I shouldn't be so picky lol

  • @LydiaKrow
    @LydiaKrow 2 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    It's nice to see someone appreciates this story arc. It was almost a relief for me to see them go through this, as I had gone through something similar, only we broke up without being able to reconnect. It was so hard seeing what was once such a vibrant relationship drift like that, and feel like you have nothing in common anymore. Watching it helped to heal me. I always blamed myself, but I realized it could happen to anyone, even the "perfect" couple, and that coming back from it was so very difficult. I understand why people abandoned the show, and I even think the "I fixed Season 9" meme where he asks her to come do the graphic design for his new company at the beginning of the season is funny, but I'm glad they tried something risky. It was hard to watch, but amazing at the same time. Also, I teared up as well, watching this, so I empathise. :)

  • @oleanderwyvern
    @oleanderwyvern 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    I'm an ace and I've always dated allosexuals (frankly because its hard not to). Engaged now, and incredibly happy, we've had discussions multiple times...but my biggest fear, every day, no matter how many discussions I have with however many people I love over the course of my life, is that I'll wake up and not be enough because I don't have any sexual attraction to my partner. It's so pervasive in media that sex=love, but in my head I keep equating it to food. Imagine if your partner didn't want food. Not just yours, but anyone's. It's always been true for me, never been hungry in that way. It would be hard to believe your partner, no? Because food is so essential to life. Maybe they just don't like your cooking and are saying they don't like food to cover it up? Who doesn't like food?

    • @dumbdonny4824
      @dumbdonny4824 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for sharing this. Your vulnerability helps save the world

  • @shey6050
    @shey6050 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I didnt appreciate it at the time but now I really love that the show included a relationship that was failing, but then recovered. I dont feel like we see that enough in a healthy and realistic way. I also found it interesting that you put a fair ammount of fault on Jim. Usually I see Pam getting a lot of the blame.

  • @cathrynhaubner5595
    @cathrynhaubner5595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    My husband and I watched the last season of the office after the birth of our little guy, and I remember feeling so connected to the turmoil in Jim and Pam’s relationship. The stress of having a newborn and finishing grad school while my husband juggled a full time job and watching the baby while I was in class tested our relationship in a very real way, and I felt heartened by the reminder that even when the relationship feels ragged you can come back to love and regrow the relationship from there. The love doesn’t necessarily go away, it just can feel scary to feel it when it feels like you are losing the other person.

  • @meltingpointcreations1457
    @meltingpointcreations1457 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I have so much love for Jim and Pam’s story. It’s so real. It starts out with that sweet and realistic fire, and they fight through that incredibly realistic and difficult drop-out. I just love them so much.

  • @nicoleroden9647
    @nicoleroden9647 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Did not expect to cry but I totally am! It's so relatable and touching. I Corinthians chapter 13 is such a beautiful passage to learn what REAL love is and isn't. It is the backbone of our 6 year marriage and that's why it is one of my favorites. ♥

  • @ingramwifey2016
    @ingramwifey2016 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    The hug at the end gets me everytime 😭😭

  • @MalloryNewcomb
    @MalloryNewcomb 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The overlay of the Scripture reading at their wedding… man that got to me. Because you really see how much they wanna live that and that in that moment, they are choosing each other. You remember how special they are together and that they had a love that is worth believing in.
    “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.” -Michael Scott

  • @ryanedwards7487
    @ryanedwards7487 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I was recommended this because of following (very avidly) CinemaTherapy, and was very glad I did. I remember something akin to this in my marriage about a year after our first child. Looking back on us growing apart. It took my wife basically telling me how broken we had become and months of personal work to get back to where we are today. And it’s still not perfect. It’s not easy, but I love this woman with my heart and soul. It hurts so much when I start to relapse on something that bothers her-it kills me. But…constantly working on it has made me a better dad and man and hopefully a better husband. Remember: it’s easy to get so caught up you lose sight of what really matters. Marriages are something you have to work at and by and large are not easy, but this axiom has always proven true: Nothing really worth doing or keeping is easy.

  • @ItsNicola
    @ItsNicola 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty Jon, excellent content as always. We’re all learning to be better

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you so much Nicola!

  • @magdalenehagey4079
    @magdalenehagey4079 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I tear up at that scene every damn time. It's so beautiful to see that distance that's been built up over time be resolved with a moment of intimacy, where Jim and Pam turn towards eachother at the same time. I know people dunk on Season 9, but I *love* the exploration of Jim and Pam's marriage, because there are absolutely low points in any marriage, and the way it resolves is so realistic and beautiful.

  • @lauraw353
    @lauraw353 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’ve seen so many people upset by this storyline. How dare they depict a favorite tv couple having struggles? I just don’t understand that. After nearly 14 years of marriage, I love this storyline. It is one of the most accurate and ultimately encouraging depictions of marriage in media. I’ve experienced all sorts of ups and downs in my marriage. It truly takes work. Every day. You don’t just ride off into your fairytale ending, like so many stories we see and hear. You have to actively create your happily ever after yourself, and it’s not always easy.

  • @tiffanypersaud3518
    @tiffanypersaud3518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    “Dad was coming out of the store with a bag of Doritos and a Pepsi, and he got down on one knee.” Honestly is that part right there were my story, I’d shout it from the rooftops, multiple times. To me, public proposals put the women in a situation where she has to say yes in order not to “embarrass” the man. But that moment was theirs, them, and I loved it.
    Thanks for the vid, and thanks for sharing whatever you felt comfortable sharing.

  • @mackenziehaas9673
    @mackenziehaas9673 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    When I first watched this scene, my husband (then boyfriend) and I had been together for 6 years. We had been through a lot in our relationship, but it was still before we were married and had our son. I could not understand why they'd ruin Jim and Pam's relationship like this. Now, after being together for 16 years and married for 6 of those years, I truly appreciate the raw emotion and writing of this storyline. I think anyone who's been in a committed, healthy relationship can relate to this scene and understand that the "perfect couple" doesn't exist. It's so relatable. I can picture myself going through these same emotions and getting absorbed in this scene every time I watch it. It truly is therapeutic!

  • @Vivi-Core
    @Vivi-Core 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    6:55 💖💖💖
    It was so sweet of u
    The fact u cried it's so adorable

  • @laurarominger2073
    @laurarominger2073 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for being so honest. One thing I learned from my first marriage to my second is if each person is willing to admit mistakes and grow things can be worked out. When you’re the only one willing and the only one growing it doesn’t work.
    And I learned I need to go back and watch this because I quit watching too.

  • @sandyartm4169
    @sandyartm4169 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I was so guilty of this and am currently working to make up for it. Thank you for sharing! It helps to not feel so alone in this struggle.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're so welcome!

  • @KxNOxUTA
    @KxNOxUTA 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    What beautiful honesty! It's what makes all of this the best. You're vulnerable and it adds to you, just as it should!
    It's good to have good versions of reality represented in media. When things are show with their bright and their shadow sides and don't "just" stop at the most harmonious point. When they actually display problems and also offer good and realistic methods to deal with them. But it was also really important you communicated the unsaid easy to miss aspect. That at the end she did not just let herself be convinced by sole physical closeness. Cause that's often shown and simply won't do! It's sometimes a good way to patch a rift and bring us back to a place where we can perceive each other from a place of closeness and where we want this to be. But if we mistake this for the situation being resolved, then wellbe back at the rift in no time and it'll be even harder to bridge. As repetition of hurt tends to rip down the bridge AND have the edges of the rift tumble down the abyss, so next time even more bridge needs to be built, to restore connection.
    It's crucial to understand that previous effort was the key, not the stubborn persistence of a hug. The hug having been a very risky move of dubious consent that might as well have backfired at them and made her feel even more disregarded in her needs/wants.

  • @GreenGoddessLita
    @GreenGoddessLita 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I watched "The Office" because so many people said it was good. I may be one of the few people who actually *didn't* like Michael Scott, and enjoyed the show more after he left. That being said, the Jim and Pam relationship was the thing I was really watching for. What angered me most of all was when Jim started yelling at Pam for messing up recording CeCe's ballet recital. All I could think was: he wanted to be with this woman when she was dating someone else, he was patient, and eventually got her in the end. And, he's yelling at her for something that was an accident, while he made the choice to be somewhere else. That sorta soured the love I had for their relationship.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      And yet, that's what makes it real. I don't know a single healthy, committed, loving relationship that hasn't had that moment.

    • @karikari6549
      @karikari6549 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That’s valid. I initially thought “jeez dude, you’re overreacting ” when this happened but then wondered why. I then saw it as misdirected frustration. “I’m pushing for this job for my (family’s) sake. I can’t see them. I miss them. I’m not able to attend this pivotal moment in my first child’s life and I have no way of getting it back.”
      Obviously he pursued his new career because it was a dream job, he wanted to do something more meaningful during working hours… and probably justified it by saying ‘if I can just push hard now, I can provide more for my family’ or something. Things aren’t working out as smoothly as he anticipated- he planned to be at the recital but an investor is pulling out, keeping the company afloat means his sacrifice (and Pam’s) is not wasted… and then when the day is over, the guy still pulled out. Jim’s efforts and sacrifices for the day were not rewarded AND he completely missed his daughter’s first recital so he’s probably seriously disappointed in himself, in the situation and of course Pam as well even if it was a mistake. Should he have yelled at her? No. But I could see how he got there.

    • @GreenGoddessLita
      @GreenGoddessLita 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ​@@MendedLight Too true! And John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer sold the hell out of the whole thing.

    • @starlightwhispers6781
      @starlightwhispers6781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Something is always more desirable when it's out of your reach

  • @ShellCage
    @ShellCage 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The last scene always makes me cry. Thanks for your wonderful advice Jonathan ☺️.

  • @Bcubed2011
    @Bcubed2011 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love this arc and scene so much. The first time I saw I cried like it had happened to me 😂. It was so well written and acted. You can tell if she hadn’t decided to take the umbrella and if he hadn’t decided to grab her in that moment it was over. There would be no going back. There’s a definite line like that in all relationships and sometimes it gets missed and it’s over but I’m so glad they didn’t destroy my favorite Office couple.

  • @BonBonHassan
    @BonBonHassan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    One of my favorite TV couples

  • @biancajobst7615
    @biancajobst7615 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ooooooh my god, that's so cute , thanks for sharing that. I love it when therapists tell stories about their own life and where they went wrong, it shows that even if you studied this stuff and work in the field you still make mistakes, which is human and makes you relatable :)

  • @nohemymendez8189
    @nohemymendez8189 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    That scene with Jim and Pam really hit me. My partnet and I are struggling and in the same way, and idk if we'll ever get to that point in the scene. But it made me really emotional. I was one of those people the dropped the show but it was more unintentional. I had no idea their marriage struggles in the later seasons. Great video!

  • @ange76prkr
    @ange76prkr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm watching this based on the recommendation from your other videos. I have never watched the show but that scene made me cry, I want to say with happy tears that it reminds me how strong my relationships are. Love is demonstrated so clearly in such few words.

  • @kellystewart4830
    @kellystewart4830 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I really love the concept for this video and I think whatt made watching this powerful scene between Jim and Pam even more powerful was the vulnerability that you showed, how clearly you related to the emotions and issues that were playing on the screen. It definitely made this feel like more than just a regular "therapized" or reaction video. I appreciate your authenticity. This is a powerful video. Well done.

  • @luciv1582
    @luciv1582 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i'm a Cinema Therapy follower and I just found this channel now, how did that happen!!! Love your videos Jonathan, i got emotional seeing the scene that made you cry, and then your soft voice made me cry too. You seem like a very sweet person. I wish I was from the states so i could be your patient

  • @Bree8tiveBEing
    @Bree8tiveBEing 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for creating this series! This episode really spoke to me. It can be so easy for relationships to slowly drift apart. That which we water grows, and what we do not water (i.e. feed, nurture, attend to) withers. Not just ambition, but in my case depression and withdrawal as well as economic insecurity, really reeked havoc on so many of my relationships. More people understand how to relate now, because resources are more accessible than 10-15 years ago. I found that rebuilding trust has required me to be vulnerable and communicate more. It is so difficult, especially when the person on the other end doesn't see or accept my efforts. I haven't been able to recover some relationships, and I have also had to grieve what the relationships use to be in order to make room for its evolution.
    I love how these fictionalized stories can teach us so much about how to move forward in our real lives.

  • @kellynoel77
    @kellynoel77 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is a great discussion and I so appreciate your self-disclosure, Jonathan!

  • @mackraewatrous3561
    @mackraewatrous3561 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey, thank YOU for your vulnerability and accountability!!! Important and so good to see! Thank you for doing what you do!

  • @NikholaRichter
    @NikholaRichter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Three weeks ago i was in Pam’s shoes. A LOT has happened in the last three weeks, we have been separated and I’d give anything to have him here right now. Hopefully he will be back next week

  • @hpwho17
    @hpwho17 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for the video! I love the last season and how realistic are Jim and Pam's relationships. This moment makes me cry too, it's so beautiful. I wish more people would talk about it

  • @AllThePeppermint
    @AllThePeppermint 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I've watched every single episode of The Office minimum three times. It's such a good show!

  • @abbyabroad
    @abbyabroad 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Damnnnn…. This is awesome. Thank you for being so vulnerable.

  • @mlove.1376
    @mlove.1376 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It touches me Jono that you have this insight that you might not really get something till you live it. I think we have all done that.

  • @bloom4956
    @bloom4956 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When you started talking about your own mistakes in a relationship I started crying for someone that’s seems to be attentive and caring it’s amazing that you didn’t start out like that

  • @addaptinginthedark
    @addaptinginthedark 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is the clip I'm going to show people when they get mad at me for using self disclosure in my sessions. (Obvs I know this environment isn't a session and a session requires careful use). But your vulnerability and rawness was what gave this video its impact. I wasn't ever really that much of an office fan. And did not expect to be this impacted by this video. But it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm crying at my desk. Thank you for the great work you do. Sharing ourselves to build beautiful empathy is such a powerful thing.

  • @Olivia-xf4gy
    @Olivia-xf4gy ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing about your own marriage. Thanks for doing these reacts and like therapy session for different couples!
    Watching this had me tear up (when I originally watched it and even now) cuz like definitely I can relate so hard to this when my own marriage went through a time like this....even down to like missing each other trying to connect. And my husband hugging me and me really praying hard to find it in me to just hug him back and wondering why it was so hard

  • @noramero2955
    @noramero2955 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She looked defeated walking away from him before he hugs her.

  • @sarahhambridge7862
    @sarahhambridge7862 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What a wonderful video! Thank you for this 🤍

  • @HalE14
    @HalE14 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It makes me beyond happy that you’re talking about this arc! I know so many people that don’t like it and thought it wasn’t needed blah blah blah but I have ALWAYS loved it probably because I related to it so much! Their arguments in that season sound EXACTLY what my husband and I have been through and to be quite honest, it’s really comforting seeing these characters I know and love go through something sucky and find their way back to a good place. If anything, it’s still makes me feel like they are a “perfect” couple because they were able to work through a big conflict. I know TV and movies aren’t real but the hope that they showed me on screen felt real and it was honestly enough to help me through my uncertain moments ❤️ to be honest, this is a big reason I actually enjoy season 9. I think it’s a great plot line

  • @siristhesalamander4186
    @siristhesalamander4186 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Another excellent video! Your vulnerability is really motivational and humbling. Thanks!

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you, we appreciate you saying so. We are so passionate about making these videos and helping people to understand and learn about behaviors and relationships.

  • @Ranak_141
    @Ranak_141 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have watched this clip like 100 times, and it still bring me to tears when jim hugs pam and pam doesn't for a little time

  • @xoundful
    @xoundful 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Im so glad i found this channel... you're awesome!

  • @HARPERSSON
    @HARPERSSON 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I appreciate your vulnerability.....it's rare in this day. Thanks.

  • @Admilly101
    @Admilly101 ปีที่แล้ว

    Omg John crying 😭 that made me cry. So used to seeing Alan bawling 😅

  • @krystalh3566
    @krystalh3566 ปีที่แล้ว

    This moment between Jim and Pam always touches me.

  • @xlucikx
    @xlucikx 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you fot this episode :)

  • @luizafreire3193
    @luizafreire3193 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    hey! I'm engaged right now, have been for a couple months and i love your videos very much, you're a very wise dude! Really, it always makes me cry hahaha and makes me reflect on how to contribute more to my relationship. I'm so glad, 'cause I'm gonna marry the love of my life, and each day I think how can i cherish her more and be a better person. She makes me feel so happy, heard, seen and safe. I always wanted something like Jim and Pam have, but I believe I got something even better for myself. Anyway, congrats and thanks! You and Alisha make a great couple, you're both adorable!

  • @c.j.p.7607
    @c.j.p.7607 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wow I didn't know you had had your own channel apart from the therapist reacts! I just subscribed. I'm kind of going through this myself, not marriage but still. Great video! Very insightful.

  • @rebeccagraf2962
    @rebeccagraf2962 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have been waiting 18 years for Jonathan's advice to come to fruition in my marriage. I have no more fight. I hope if the realization ever happens I can muster the "long suffering" needed to even start the journey. Makes me want to cry!

  • @00juls00
    @00juls00 ปีที่แล้ว

    I haven't seen the last season of The Office in while, and it's actually really hard to watch them go through all that, even knowing it ends well. I'm like you, Jonathan. I don't cry for just anything on tv, but Jim and Pam will get me every time. I think it's not only because it's well acted and we've grown to love the characters, but it speaks to real life so strongly. It's just very real, and so beautiful how they fought for each other.

  • @coocoobananasz
    @coocoobananasz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    OOOF very emotional - love the channel

  • @christophergarrett7082
    @christophergarrett7082 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    They are my favorite couple on tv

  • @jasmingovers4403
    @jasmingovers4403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I recently just watched this scene again and it really got to me because of my situation with my ex.

  • @elizavassilev5962
    @elizavassilev5962 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video. Good job.

  • @Amrold
    @Amrold 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I loved your take on this. I struggled with this storyline because it felt like Pam was refusing to step out of her comfort zone and grow with Jim beyond the limitations of the office and that felt really hard to see. To feel like his desire to be more than a guy who works at the office meant he would lose his most important relationship. It made me frustrated with Pam and sad for them.

  • @kakeen1977
    @kakeen1977 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was Pam and he was Jim, except it wasn't a dream that was making him neglect me, it was the Internet and video games.
    He emotionally (and physically bc he was locked in the rm all day & all night) left me, after I got pregnant w/our 1st child. I was alone all the time, and he got annoyed if I spoke to him.
    He DID try after I talked of divorce, but was never vulnerable. Never expressed emotion. He bought me little gifts, but I felt unloved for 9yrs...candy wasn't enough.
    Then he expressed how excited he was to pursue the "dream girl" he let go bc he met me....and I knew, I felt unloved bc I was unloved.

  • @tallulahd582
    @tallulahd582 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As horrible as it sounds, it’s amazing to hear that Jonathan and Alicia had relationship problems because it just shows that even somebody who is professional in helping with people’s relationships, still doesn’t have a dream relationship, which I just find super grounding.
    I obviously wish only the best to the two, and am glad they solved it!!

  • @puppycatsbee
    @puppycatsbee ปีที่แล้ว

    ur so real for this

  • @gjh9299
    @gjh9299 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Their wedding was great

  • @StormTalara
    @StormTalara 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m actually really glad i watched this one as i didn’t really get into the office that much. I’m going through this just now though, and ready to walk away. I’ve fought for so long for him to see that I’m hurting, and he seems to think everything is fixed after one big fight and a short conversation later.
    I’m tired. I feel done. But i know he’s a good man, so it’s hard to just simply walk away without giving him a chance. I don’t have much left in me anymore though.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm so sorry. That's so, so hard. Is he changing the behavior at all?

  • @jerilane4420
    @jerilane4420 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was a great post Mr.Decker- mad props to you as you nailed it. This couple made me so happy all through the series and in season 9 when they had their troubles it really affected me as needed their relationship to be healthy each season. They were such a perfect match . But we all know there are always challenges and to see them struggle really bummed me out. But like you said the fact Jim made changes and decided nothing was as important as wife and family shows how much he loves Pam. The haters out there of course turn it on Pam as she is being selfish and not letting Jim follow her dreams. They have no clue how scared she is because he is acting in a way that is so not JIm! Plus it is a big risk when you have a family and an established life in a small town to go to a city and faster paced life. Pam needed time and the proof that Jim wasnt going to replace her with a passion for work only. Once she was sure of her place in his heart again she could share his dream!

  • @ilou9129
    @ilou9129 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lol love the thumbnail. Group hug! 😄🤗

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, it's fun for sure :)

  • @melaniedejonge5234
    @melaniedejonge5234 ปีที่แล้ว

    The scene when they are using therapy-speak at their desk and Clark thinks they’re high is SO hilarious!!!!

  • @margaretlovecchio8316
    @margaretlovecchio8316 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Where’s the change indeed. Growing apart is inevitable when one or both partners takes the other for granted & you’re no longer close emotionally, talking, sharing. You’re just living your own separate life in the same physical space with someone who’s barely a roommate. It’s better to end the relationship when you can’t reconnect, your lives are separate

  • @tracyroweauthor
    @tracyroweauthor 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    that scene causes me to tear up too, Jono. Every time.

  • @tonichan89
    @tonichan89 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm crying too, man :')

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad you liked the video!

  • @MuricaTurkey
    @MuricaTurkey 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've never seen this show, but I've watched almost all the stuff you've covered about things I have watched and I just love your take on things lol So now I'm branching out into shows and movies you comment on that I haven't seen
    That said, I really love the way this couple was written (and acted of course). I actually really love that he proposed at a gas station. Real love is about the day to day, and being with them can make anything feel special.
    My husband and I don't have a perfect relationship but we love each other so much, and really enjoy being together, that it often makes the mundane feel special.
    One of our movies we bonded over is True Romance (I know, there's definitely BAD stuff in there lol But specifically I'm talking about the love story aspect). I come from a very poor family, and while some of that was really crappy growing up, I do think it made me appreciate simple things, and to be grateful. I very much value meaning over material.
    So the fact that their proposal involved a plastic toy ring was something I thought was very sweet and super romantic.
    This scene where he proposes ar a gas station has a similar vibe. Simple setting, not at all classically romantic, but totally off the charts in the feels department. Really lovely 💜

  • @danijessee
    @danijessee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    That scene makes me cry too! Beautiful. I always look forward to your videos, thank you! I’m curious, what are your thoughts on Jim’s decision to sacrifice his career at least for a time for Pam? Of course it was a great act of love on his part but do you feel that I know it was too much of a compromise and Pam should’ve met more in the middle? Of course it ended wonderfully for them but just curious on your thoughts on that.

  • @DistrictTribute
    @DistrictTribute 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just watched the Black Widow analysis and was already crying when I clicked on this video. First it's Alan, now you crying Jon. I'm going to go drink a few gallons of water because I'm sure I have no water left in me from all the tears.

  • @dalilamontesgonzalez6451
    @dalilamontesgonzalez6451 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi and thank you for the interesting videos!
    If I may ask (and if not already done), I would love to see Eleanor and Chidi's relationship (the Good Place) therapized ;)
    Many thanks!

  • @moonchiId.
    @moonchiId. 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    of course i would love to see jim and pam being happy forever without fights or any problem BUT they are one of the most realistic couple of tv and this is why i love them this storyline is so powerfull and i am sorry but if some ppl didn't liked it because they never had a ralationship to understand that is so lame bc i never dated and this scene + the one with the dvd made me cry a lot and i could feel what they were feeling. Also i LOVE how you talk about what jim was doing bc i get so angry at everyone who just blame pam like when the public in the office universe was asking pam why she was acting like that towards jim or something and treating like he never did something wrong and then he said he was being selfish i liked his answer (to me is another episode of misoginy btw and the writing did not helped because i love this show but SOME things the writing did to get wrong reactions about pams character is so annoying bc she is amazing like) pam's insecurity was so relatable and of course i am not saying jim is the only one who needed to understand the other side but blame just one side is so wrong

  • @mallorilesseski8676
    @mallorilesseski8676 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ok, fine. I’ll watch the office again!

  • @TanyerLamb
    @TanyerLamb ปีที่แล้ว

    This hits pretty hard, because I think for my story, it was a little too late, and now we are processing that transition.
    Thankfully, we are now rebuilding our relationship as friends/an unconventional connection, rather than husband and wife.

  • @folk_love
    @folk_love ปีที่แล้ว

    Very important video, thank you. Maybe you could make one about the love triangle of Jim, Karen and Pam, especially from Karen's POV - was it a right thing of her to stay with Jim, despite his feelings for Pam, and trying to 'fix' him.

  • @boopsy4439
    @boopsy4439 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'd love to see you therapize Bridgerton or even Game of Thrones

  • @ashleehowell3117
    @ashleehowell3117 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Shared ❤

  • @yefersonherrera532
    @yefersonherrera532 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is the bread and butter! 🤌👌

  • @wiziarmy4879
    @wiziarmy4879 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    As I'm binging your episodes as a podcast im starting to say what you do in my real life as advise🤭 also is it possible that you do a Gilmore girls therapist reacts? Pleaseee

  • @catherinesinclair7727
    @catherinesinclair7727 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Safe respected and loved

  • @linzermusik
    @linzermusik ปีที่แล้ว

    Can you do family therapy on the Kims from Kim's Convenience? Such an amazing show with such fascinating relationships!!

  • @laisrodrigues1797
    @laisrodrigues1797 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you. I’m a MESS now.

  • @kvaughn3791
    @kvaughn3791 ปีที่แล้ว

    My Papa proposed to my Gma in the 50s at the gas station where they met, and they were happily married for over 50 years! ❤ Sometimes a gas station is where H.E.A starts 😍

  • @mirandamarshall7079
    @mirandamarshall7079 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I struggle so hard to watch the last season. It hurts as it hits so close to home.

    • @MendedLight
      @MendedLight  ปีที่แล้ว

      It does. It's also very beautiful.

  • @breadthathatesmustard5800
    @breadthathatesmustard5800 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video, it was really insightful. I was just wondering what you thought of the episode with Cece's ladybug ballet recital and the conflict that arose between Jim and Pam because of Jim missing it and Pam accidentally not recording it. How do you think it should have been delt with?

  • @elizabethdevilliers6494
    @elizabethdevilliers6494 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love your videos. I would love to see you react to The Waitress