I noticed it with myself.. feeling with the other person is one thing. Putting my empathy in words, so that they get it is another. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's comic.. Yet it is definetely a learnable thing *cheer*
im not sure if we live in the same world but in my world people always insult loners and say hahaha u have no friends like seriously there is nothing wrong with being a loner
Neal Kelly I think he's talking about a much deeper sense of loneliness--the existential loneliness we all face, even if we're surrounded by people 24/7.
The quote is just not true...our large brains are not the direct cause of loneliness, perhaps indirectly because of the social stratification caused by capitalism...but complex minds should be able to find a way to defeat loneliness
I have almost lost my life trying to please fake friends who were around me for what they wanted to gain but their hearts were very far from me. I am alone now but at peace and safe.
loreta ben same Literally almost died just to please others and when I was in the hospital all of my “friends” n even lover never showed up I was in there for a month.. now I’m back to work w very little friends but at peace and very happy .. I’m glad you’re at peace too.
@@euanelliott3613 Exactly.A few years ago i was reading an interview with the Australien Popsinger Kylie Minogue.And she said》When you on stage you feel like a super women.But when the show is over and you are alone in your hotelroom you feel like the loneliest person in the world...
Spin around (like a whirling dervish) clockwise(yang northern hemisphere/yin southern hemisphere) or counterclockwise (yin northern hemisphere/yang southern hemisphere) (torus spinning). Chant any of these mantras 3 times each while facing east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northernhemisphere): "ieouah", "um"(like "from"), "aum" and "om". Sleep with your head placed east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northern hemisphere). Stare into the flower of life before sleep. Perform the 5 Tibetan rites. Play music at 440hz, 528hz, 432hz, and 396hz.
@@J.A.Hansen That's how I feel when I work customer service and talk to all my shallow and fake regulars only to go home, lay down and stare at the ceiling.
But what would be the idea of a false community? What is a false community? Everybody seems to have different opinions on what would be considered false.
I know what you mean. Dunno if you believe me or if it matters, but I do. When I'm alone and doing things by myself, something in me sticks something sharp in me. It communicates something like: "You're wasting time. Why aren't you out there trying to meet people? Why aren't you fixing the reasons you're alone? Shouldn't you be doing something more constructive?" And I feel some sort of strange guilt afterwards about all the times I was alone, but which I can remember and even revere. I get bombarded with doubt about whether or not I'm avoiding something, being lazy or choosing the easy way.
Never assume you feel isolated, a complex existence, disturbing to society, failure to comply means you remain alone, are you blaming yourself or your environment, conspiracy theory, is it my fault, despite the spite, no one loves anyone, realise that people won't get you, was it out of character, it suggests your lonely ⛔
@@carmichaelmoritz8662 I'm not one. + I've studied history of art in France and i don't make it like "woaw such a great personnality such a great human" we are all the same, morons xD
Based on my experience this is true. Even a person who once mattered everything to me is not someone I could easily talk to. They may appreciate art without knowing the feelings behind it.
"Enduring loneliness is almost invariably better than suffering the compromises of forced community. Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding on to a sincere ambitious view of what companionship must--and could--be." Wow. So true.
Jeremy Signorelli yeo, these words suddenly made me feel so good. I thought I was too picky with friendships but this way the few I have are really intense and interesting.
Loneliness is so painful. Yet I endure it because I have hope. Hope that one day this feeling will pass and I will stop longing for it to pass because I will be content with myself.
Just because u see couples are happy outside does not mean they are truly happy, most are fake happiness, you have more time and space to yourselves than most couples do.
@@touxiong519 it's painful if you don't want be alone and have a desire of loved and cared by someone else. But humans are pretty simple, just give them love and attention they will be all yours. Touch someone's emotion good or bad and most probably they will never forget you.
Accept that it will never pass. You will die lonely. The little islands where people come into your life are like the beautiful, warm sunny days. Appreciate those times when they come, but don't desperately hang on to that connection any more than you'd hang on to the warm sunny day. You know it will pass and it doesn't crush you when it does.
@@aluisious Absolutely! You stole the words right outta my mouth “I almost wish we were butterflies and liv'd but three summer days - three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.” - John Keats (poet)
That's why I'm always working on that! It's actually much better for me now than it used to be. I feel much more fine with being lonely and also when away from the computer.
I'm fine when I'm on my own. It's mingling with my other that gets tricky. I'm in that relationship where there is no communication and understanding. Yet they get it from another..
And that I guess is the meaningful intercourse we have in a world of often, meaningless hyped up jargon that constantly bombard our thinking through facebook, etc.
You're lucky though, I was lonely my whole damn life. Being the only person in my family, school (and probably town) who stutter can really take a kid down. Lol
I think as you grew up, your mind expanded. Point of view formed. As a kid we don't observe, think or contemplate as much. But now as adults we do, which is why we search for companionship with similar thoughts ideas. But we are unable to find the same since everyone else grew up as well and formed different opinions. Idk man, I tried
thank you so much for this video. i have been an introverted, 'lonely' person all my life, but have sadly come accross the road of changing myself for the pleasure of others, fitting in was my main goal. like the end of the video said, being what you might call lonely is better than suffering the compromises of a false community. i have accepted a long time ago i'm lonely, but have just come to the fact that,, it's okay. i prefer being who i am, practically friendless, than hiding behind a mask, and fitting in society's expectations. good luck to everyone out there struggling, and (please) be yourself! the world is a much more interesting place with YOU in it.
JACOB HILLER------ I THINK IT'S PROFOUND AT THE START ,THEN, DOESN'T GO INTO ANY DEPTH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BEING SELFISH ,NOR MORALS REGARDING SELFISH, USING, BAHAVOIR.
superman superman------ He speaks of the power of the written word and other mediums to communicate with our "soulmates" through time.... and you want to hear about morals to go deeper into the profound....?
That means all people and media who scared us to death about loneliness are actually shallow, they prevented us from the chance of self development and being better/deep/creative people. We are all victims of the stupid media and shallow society.
That feeling will go away in time,it's why people go to bars and sit in the same spot for hours and waist there money.I isolated myself from from society years ago and I'm pretty happy with one dog and some cats.Simplicity!
Yup. I have been very independent since pre school age, but at the same time burdened by a vague sting of isolation. Nothing has changed in 30 yrs. Anyways, this is a great video!
Very true and I am alone currently and in better shape physically and financially than I ever was whilst with a badly matched partner. But have you ever met a woman youd be happy to die with than spend your life without her?
@Eric Grijalva I'm so sorry for your loss . My girlfriend who Iived with had heavy depression and took an overdose one night whilst i was away , she was found literally moments before my return, too late though . That was 1993 and i haven't been fully right since . I just had to adapt and get by as best as i could . We wouldve got married, i know that now as I've never met anyone I've been so right with as we were together. Sad tragic story . All the best , I hope you find some peace and happiness.
I highly disagree with the premise that we are alone. I am not alone, I have God Himself, all of His Holy Angels and The Church with me, you do not know the comfort found in Him, knowing that you are not nor will ever be alone or forsaken because that's who He IS. seek Him while He Is Near beloved. seek Him while He can be found, you are NOT alone.
@@ramichahin2 thanks and I wholly agree, as I too believe in God. I'm a Christian, however I'm a very open minded Christian that a lot of Christians would probably, hypocritically judge . But I do believe in God and Jesus i have way too much reason to believe . But i have to keep an open mind . I'll never turn away from christianity but i entertain others interpretations .
No matter how much you get to know someone, no matter how much you share your life, learn about them, feel as though you are almost the same person, there will always be an infinite gulf between who you think they are, and who they really are. You cannot know someone else. You can only know your perception of them. Your experience of that person flows through the filter of your personality, your experience and memories, your biases and intuitions. You don't know them, you know your conception of them. Subjectivity of experience makes truly knowing another person completely impossible. We are all perfectly isolated souls, completely separate from everyone else, desperately reaching out to convince ourselves we aren't really alone.
Actually you can know them, if you are able to dissolve your ego and fully attend and feel their space and energy, in a sense when you do that you are connecting to the greater whole of the universe, and the person infront of you talking is actually a part of you. It takes a certain kind of channeled spiritual energy to do that tho, you have to be juiced up with universal divine energy to be able to feel the other person pain, and when it happen its beautiful, you can shed a tear and actually pinpoint and feel their memories, because it actually did happen one time in history, and the history of all mankind is a part of you and me. But again to be able to do that, you really need to be juiced up with a very thick divine energy, or else your ego will take over and filters it.
Nope, I don't fully accept that view. It's Buddhist conceptualised claptrap. We ARE connected. Sometimes so much so that nothing needs to be said or done; a silence that speaks louder than a 1000 words; a realisation that you're in the right place at the right time, with the right person(s). It's a comfort that needs no effort because it fits. People are always attaching far too much surface value to everything and everyone, and not living their lives simply and with integrity. This is the human problem.
Tried being an extrovert for a long time. Mostly in my younger years. Always felt different than the others I was around. That led me to believe something was wrong with me. After a lot of self examination I just realized and except that I am different. And there's nothing wrong with that. I spend a lot of time alone, but not all the time. Still have family and friends that I enjoy being around. Just I need my time alone. I love reading, and just learning about fascinating stuff. I find I'm a lot happier and content. For me acceptance is the key to living a good life. Societal expectations kind of paint introverts as "Different" to some extent. But I see some ppl who just can't be alone, and are extreme extroverts. World would be a boring place if everyone was the same. As well I have a healthy spiritual life. Alls good.
there is no such thing as lonely. i discovered that it is a PHASE that you have, before you get friend that value honesty over acceptability. want to be my friend? I make honesty == acceptability
You're not different. Every asshole says "I'm different." You're the same as very many other people, and you're not special. Just live your life, with yourself, quietly. "I'm different!" is just another ridiculous cry for attention. Just that much more effort being wasted that could be spent on just keeping yourself company without worrying about it.
I would say loneliness gets worse as you become more and more intelligent. To the masses who simply cannot understand you, loneliness is quite prominent. How can you connect to people who can't understand you, or even those who don't want to?
I think intelligent isn't quite the right word, although I'm almost certain that there's a positive correlation between loneliness and intelligence, as well as between intelligence and the actual quality in question. I'm not sure if there's a word for what I'm thinking of, and I'm not inclined to search for it.
FU 2 No, why do you ask? Also: "People don't 'become more and more intelligent'. Also loneliness can't "get worse". It's an absolute. Either you're lonely or you're not." Well, you're using those words very differently than almost everyone else does. People feel emotions with different levels of severity, and people's brains change. "And the problem is that the very intelligent person just can't abide the average idiot. If he could, dumbing his output down for him or her would be simple enough." That's a wild over-simplification of the problem.
FU 2 Yes, I was well aware of the intent behind your question. I was hoping to coax you into being less hostile. As for why I commented: impulse. I had a faint hope that my thoughts would be understood. "People DON'T become more and more intelligent." As I said, you seem to be using the word "intelligent" in an unusual way. What definition are you using? "Loneliness can't get worse. You're either lonely or you're not." Hunger can't get worse. You're either hungry or you're not. "And the 'loneliness' of the intelligent is brought on my themselves, due to their incapacity to handle the puerile babbling of those of average intelligence." What an odd way to approach the issue. How is loneliness "brought on" by the lonely if it stems from their inherent inability?
I'm sorry for the ambiguity behind this comment. Perhaps I should have explained my thinking behind it more thoroughly. I believe there are levels of intellectualism, whether culturally or socially based. And what I meant by "loneliness getting worse" was the depth of how loneliness can affect an individual, or at least how much or often it is perceived. Yes, loneliness can affect anyone, no matter their intelligence, and I realise this. What I was trying to say was that some individuals of "higher" intellect, as it were, may be able to feel the depths of loneliness at a greater scale than what a "layman" might. I'm not saying that I'm a genius or anything. By no means am I saying that. Rather, I myself, am of average intelligence, and yet I still feel as I try to explain myself in topics I am passionate about, few are able to understand me. That is probably my own fault, in that I simply am not conveying the message properly, but I digress. I didn't intend for this comment to sound so one-sided or biased in any sense.
I find social settings constraining: full of rules, expectations and compromises. I need and enjoy social life like most people, but I have learned that my need for company is unusually small compared to my need for being alone. This is a source of anxiety, because I find it difficult to tell people I want to be alone, partly out of fear that they will interpret it as rejection, and partly out of fear that they will think negatively about me for wanting to be alone.
Oh dude, that sucks. I'm very much prefer my alone time, but I've been fortunate to be surrounded by people that usually get that, at least on some level. Not sure if it helps, but I've found there are two extremes on this stuff. There are people who are extremely social and seem to GAIN energy from being around others. Then, there are people like you and me who gather energy whilst alone to be SPENT while being around others. Perhaps try explaining it that way to people? I've found it helps the socialites in my friendship circles better understand where I'm coming from.
You're definitely an introvert, welcome to the club! :) What helped me deal with my introversion was reading up on it, it made me realise that feeling like this is quite common and there's no need to worry. Actually, being an introvert is great, they can entertain themselves and are usually great listeners (which is becoming an increasingly rare virtue).
If you are unhappy with that need, perhaps you don't value being alone as much as you think, or perhaps it's indeed just shame telling you you shouldn't feel that. Investigate further into it and find out what is true for you. Nobody can tell you this. It's your own personal and in some sense beautiful experience. I'd have to disagree with Jamie, I don't think extremes is a great way of looking at things. There's alot of grey area, mostly because people often don't act on the outside according to how they feel on the inside, for example anxious or depressed people. Also, I'd say don't fall into the trap of labelling yourself one way or another. If you're unhappy with being anxious or introverted then that it's possibly not who you truly are. And about the social settings: they are constraining, but they're like that for everyone. Try to let go of resisting this and just go with the flow. I find that helps me a ton. All of what I've said is just out of my personal experience, you shouldn't believe anything that goes against your own experience :)
Jos Schroons OP didnt say they are unhappy. its just the way it is. what they say about needing a lot of alone time is exactly how a introvert is described. you shouldnt make people feel like they should be acting like an extrovert, theres nothing wrong with being an introvert, they usually enjoy smaller closer social environments, and usually less of it. watch the power of introvert, to see how society makes people feel like there is something wrong with being an introvert
Stilts Of course there's nothing wrong with being introverted. There's nothing wrong with anything. But, as I said, I speak from personal experience and OP doesn't have to take anything I say seriously. It's just reflective of my own situation. I have social anxiety. When it comes on strong, I am an asocial wreck and I hate talking to anyone at all. When I don't, which has only begun to be the case in the last year or so, I'm super outgoing naturally. I understand why you said I tried to shame him though, but it wasn't my intent and I apologize if it came off that way. What I learned from my experience is that personality is not fixed. It's mostly conditioned by our past. Lots of people act in a way that is not at all who they are on the inside. Could be like that for OP, or couldn't, who am I to know. If you know introvertedness to be the core of what you are, then by all means be it. My own healing only started after I started to see the power of alone time. In my opinion, not being true to yourself is the real problem. What's the power of the introvert, a film? Sounds interesting :)
I understand me perfectly...I like me immensely. I enjoy my mind, humor, talents, inquisitiveness, observations and everyday experiences.... I enjoy me.... I also have two dogs to cuddle Life is GRAND..I am, happy, blessed and wouldn't change a thing. I am alone ...but never lonely. I am my own best friend and I am the best friend I have ever had.
That's the best and most positive outlook to have .. Especially if you are alone. But aren't there moments when u are hit with an strong emotion of not being around many people that really understand you and can share your everyday dreams, hopes and miseries ?
@@meghna7863 Nope...never...honestly...never... Valentine's Day it would be nice to get some flowers and some candy but only nice... not necessary.... if I really want them I buy them... I do have family I spend Christmas with my kids and lots of other times too but I live alone and I love love love love love it
You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something. That's what the phones are taking away, is the ability to just sit there. That's being a person. Because underneath everything in your life there is that thing, that empty-forever empty. That knowledge that it's all for nothing and that you're alone. It's down there. And sometimes when things clear away, you're not watching anything, you're in your car, and you start going, 'oh no, here it comes. That I'm alone.' It's starts to visit on you. Just this sadness. Life is tremendously sad, just by being in it... That's why we text and drive. I look around, pretty much 100 percent of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard. - Louis C.K.
After six years I’m surprised to say but relieved, that this is not the most viewed video on your channel. Which kind of describes the fact that I am unique but not alone in my loneliness. I know I am not like many others and this video is giving me more help than you could know. Thank you ❤
ODD-one out n about absolutely. My brothers untimely death started the journey of loneliness for me. My husband died tragically three weeks after my only brother. It’s destroyed my “family” and my mother and father have completely turned their backs on me. It’s very painful to live like this. Hope things get better for you.,
I am speechless. I've reached reasonably the same conclusion when I was little. I couldn't say it out loud, but I've felt this way my entire life. This video was so motivating for me
Yes! I felt exactly the same way, but everyone tells me I need to reach out to people I don't connect with in shallow relationships... I finally feel just a bit more sane now that I know that there are other people out there who think this way.
I ended up hating shallow people until I realized there is no behavior that is right or wrong. If their shallowness comes either from ignorance or is intended (or most probably both), it doesn't matter, it's who they are, the same way I am the way I am. So, Melody Powers, or anyone else reading, don't hate them for trying to give you, what seems to be (and most probably is) bad advice, like I did, but rather thank them or at least be nice. Take the best out of what they tell you and throw away the rest.
I don't believe there is a such thing as a shallow person. Yes, some people may be more deep thinkers than others, most likely from exposure to an environment where deep thinking is encouraged and modeled, but everyone around is a complicated individual with secret complexities that we will likely never realize. Using the word "shallow", I was describing forced relationships and casual acquaintanceship, not the actual people around me.
Grotok I'm in the sixth grade and none of my classmates are "complex" like me(not trying to brag) but I often get bullied for having different views on stupid topics like roasting. My classmates seem pretty shallow and predictable and I know I'll never fit in because of a lot of the points in this video. I'm so glad I can move back to my original country.
You're like a mirror of me 15 years ago lol. Focus on what's important for you while treating them with the same shallow attitude they treat you. You will, at some point, even forget they existed. It's just how school works and noone's doing anything about it, or ever will, for that matter.
At first you are lonely and then you slowly start enjoying your own company,than gradually you realize that it's blissful to be alone rather than a curse.
Or you're in denial. We need human connection as living beings. I believe we need to feel connected and this comes from a very introverted and detached person.
@Ari Jappendi We are pack animals, we need to be amongst our kind to survive. All throughout evolution humans and their ancestors needed a pack. For food, for social interaction, for reproduction; it's what kept them and keeps us alive. Buddhist monks can achieve "peace" as you call it but i do not believe it is ideal or true. I believe they learn to trick themselves into thinking they live in peace which works very well, not going to doubt that but it isn't true.
I think the problem is the social game that rules our society with great influence today. I mean, if a person is pure and want something positive, most of the time the person will conflicted with social "rules" that are stupid... Media and all this crap alienates people... Too much materialism, I don't know... I really think if a person can be alone and don't engage in destructive addictions, is very positive.
well then, can i be your friend? i am also rejected by everyone because i chose honesty over acceptability (i was punished for self defense in school and i stood my ground) never think of loneliness as existing, it is only a stage that you have until you get friend that also value honesty over acceptability
@@vitalnutrients744 there are chances that this is not going to happen. This is hope, a "cancer" that perpetuates a behavior that do not have good consequences. But if it does happens, the chances are that you will change a bit to keep this important person, and it is ok if you do.
Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way. -Janet Fitch , White Oleander
Loneliness is not a human condition. That's utter nonsense. Look at indigenous folks or maybe even at countries that haven't been yet totally westernized.
I think it means that tribal societies have more interpersonal cohesion & connectivity than industrialised societies.There aren't as many alienating cracks to fall into in a tribal society, although the ultimate existential solitudes of life & death are still unavoidable.
Sometimes I think being alone toooo much is bad, but each time I try to go out & I think of the shallow conversations that are going to ensue, I simply meditate, grab a new book & explore new worlds between the covers of my book. Contentment right there, right... there.
@@leanhanleleanah6929 @Human Male Hi HM, so "lonliness" is a painful emotion. In contrast, "being alone" just means there are no other people around at present. Sometimes being alone is a relief. Lonliness is never a relief. The vid wasn't about being alone, it was about lonliness, although i do appreciate what jacobjacob said. When i contemplate going out and enduring the pain of meaningless chitchat, i just stay in and watch yt videos instead.
It is a mistake to base your happiness and satisfaction in life on relationships with others, because they will eventually fail you. Perhaps the person who is somewhat lonely but independent is stronger in the long run because that person can better deal with the adversities that eventually come along. One should strive for a circle of friends, but accept that friends come and go. I'm retired and single, and have realized three rules to life; life is mostly luck, life is unfair, and if you find any joy in life I can guarantee you that someone or forces beyond your control will try and take it away.
“We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out, just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down with us trapped, locked in it.” ― Tennessee Williams
1. " Connecting with people" is a very tricky thing really...Sometimes it is easier to feel connected to people when you are NOT around them. For example, after spending 3 hours at a dinner party you may come back home feeling totally depressed, which is of course nobody's fault. But then you may spend a day or two in silence, reading ( mainly dead people) and you may find hope again. I remember Alain saying that when we turn to art, we look for what we don't have. The same with literature of course. That's why it is the best place to look for hope. Otherwise where do you supposed to hear someone saying: " All men will be brothers" ( from "Ode to Joy" ) I hope Schiller really meant it though! And may be Beethoven composed it because he seriously believed in it? I am glad they are both peacefully dead now and don't have to see how it all went afterwards... Looking for hope, consolation or some acceptable dose of delusion, you must also listen to the most beautiful voice of Crete, Nikos Ksilouris, singing these wonderful verses by Ritsos in "Kαι να αδερφέ μου" : "... And so my brother, At last we have learnt how to discuss Quietly, peacefully, plainly. We understand each other now; Nothing more is needed. And tomorrow, I say, Things will be even simpler. We will find the words That carry the same weight In all hearts , On all lips, So that from here on We can tell things as they are". 2. The best metaphor of loneliness for me is Martin Scorsese's excellent dark comedy " After Hours"! The story of that poor guy who wants just one simple thing: " to get home". But nobody understands him! He does trust everyone he encounters, and he tells them his story but they all get him wrong! They all terribly disappoint him. But they are kind people too... They just live in different worlds. Like all of us. It reminds me of these lines by Garcia Lorca: "... and the heart feels like an island in infinity". ( el corazón se siente isla en el infinito ) The challange is to be able to laugh at ourselves, just the way we laugh at the guy in the movie! 3. If you want real, solid consolation though, Aristotle's view on "virtuous friendship" is very helpful. Here is what he says: "........Virtuous friendship, however, is described as complete and the ultimate form of love. This type of friendship happens between few people, is long lasting, and must be between people with a certain moral character. Those involved in virtuous friendships must be able to value loving over being loved and as such, their relationship will be based more around loving the other person and wanting what is good for them." Despite being a very solitary soul and having talked a lot about stillness and silence, Pico Iyer says: " I think to be human really means to be connected". Aristotle's advice sounds like the wisest way to get there, no matter how lonely we all may be.
well, that was... so educational. It reminded me of alain de botton 's consolations of philosophy; what a nice contribution,I love thoughtful people like you. Please,Stay amazing.
Hello there! Thanks a lot for your time and for such a friendly message:-) Oh,I am so glad you mention that book by Alain, " The Consolations of Philosophy". It is really wonderful. It has helped me enormously. We must recommend it to everybody. I send you my best wishes!
Out of all of the School of Life videos I have watched, this is the best one I have ever seen. I even wrote down notes on two pieces of paper. Everything discussed here spoke words to me. It is so reassuring to know I am not alone in thinking this way and that maybe, just maybe, I can learn to accept my loneliness for what it is and even maybe start appreciating it. Thank you for making this.
I don't think we're biologically capable of accepting loneliness. Sure we can have moments of clarity, moments where we can understand the pointlessness of existence. But these moments are fleeting. They're drowned out by the "noise"' of our lives. We evolved to live in groups and communities so our biology wouldn't allow us to live alone or even accept our loneliness for prolonged periods of time. This is why people choose to end their existence when they see no hope of connection. When they gaze into the truly horrifying abyss of utter and complete loneliness
dnplk Or someone who isn't lonely, and is happy with themselves, and want to share their happiness with others... yeah I thought that part was a little BS too lol
dnplk you can make art without being lonely, what this video is saying when youre lonely youre more free to think for yourself and not worry about the pressures of what everyone else might think
Rhazelle Of course not all art stems from loneliness, I suppose I made my comment look like a generalization. I just really like the metaphor of "message in a bottle" art.
I have a friend group that I hang out with but I always feel like I just observe when they converse and I am not part of it. I was always a chronic introspective guy but I was making myself think my loneliness was a by-product of simply lack of trying. I think I was born to not fit in however biased that may seem. I never seemed to fit in. I always try to compensate but I realize that compensating masks myself. I'm gonna stop that and accept my loneliness. I will still hang out with friends if I want to but there's no need to rush anything. Dying lonely is better than dying next to mannequins.
I spent the last years of my life travelling and doing things alone and I have never been happier..All those forced relationships with people rarely offered me something special...I learned that by spending time with yourself you learn to be happy and not depend on anyone!!
"No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by" quote from Franz Schubert, one of the loneliest geniuses who's ever lived. I think there's a lot of truth to this quote. We can only see things from the outside. I can see your sadness, but that doesn't mean your sadness is the same thing I feel whenever I am sad. I don't think its possible for two people to fully understand each other. No matter how well you think you know someone, being presented with novel circumstances has a way of surprising us in more ways than one. I am alone in my perspective, and in my place in the universe
I am alone but i am not lonely. I have my piano, my cat, my books, i can see the whole cosmos through my telescope and even without all of this i can sit with my eyes closed and meditate for hours... I am alone but not lonely.. :)
That's because you keep yourself distracted. with your piano, your cat and your books. Let go of them for a day. Spend the entire day by yourself with yourself and you will understand that the difference between being alone and being lonely is distraction or lack thereof
I don't keep myself distracted, I'm not a prisoner, i like it, i am ok even when i don't have these things because i have found my centre. I wont try to make you understand because you wont, and its normal, i just washed the video one more time.. have a nice afternoon . . :)
"That's because you keep yourself distracted. with your piano, your cat and your books. Let go of them for a day" You keep yourself distracted, with others. Let them go of you for a day. It's the same concept, we just adapt to our own conception.
I've always been alone. I have secrets I cannot share. Only one person knew but they died, they were also a terrible human being, but we had so much in common I put up with it. I want friends, but I grow to hate people's company over time.
I know it is hard, but try to meet some people. There are good people in this world belive me you are just not open to them. Loneliness will pass... When you will meet them. Stay strong and try to be happy 🙏🏻💜
@@unknownsleepyhead1999 but i like being a loner and if everyone in the world was a loner there would be no such thing as war,fights,depression,bullying,betrayal etc
I don't have friends neither a girlfriend.. but thanks jesus I have a great family especially my mother she is my bestfriend and this is the greatest blessing ever .
Best thing about these videos asides from the videos themselves is the comment thread. I never see this kind of insightful high-brow discussion anywhere else on youtube. Feels like a parallel universe. Even when the commentators get angry, they're still intelligent. *School* Of Life getting yet another one up on us. brrrap.
This might be the greatest consolation I've ever received. Thank you for your great words. 'Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay - for holding onto a sincere and ambitious view of what companionship must and could be.'
People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. And to top it off, lots of people refuse to look inside themselves and figure out who they really are. I'm glad I married my best friend. I may still feel lonely sometimes, but at least we have each other, for now. And thank goodness for loneliness! The bit about art alone makes it worth it...I can't even imagine a world without art. But omg, the last bit, about being lonely rather than having false community...that I totally get. I thought I had found my tribe, until I realized when we spent time together they were more interested in their phones and Facebook than me. I'd rather feel lonely alone than be surrounded by people and feel lonely.
Reminds me of the Hemingway quote: "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." Thank you for this one. Speaks to me and I'm sure many very deeply.
Intelligent people would know that they can control their emotions. Why wouldn't they choose happiness even with all they know of the world? It's simple.
At this point, I'm not longer depressed from learning about these things. Instead, I'm seeing suicide more and more as a practical end to it. Not as a solution or an escape, but as an admission that life is pointlessly cruel in such a myriad of petty ways. I just wish I had the courage to go through with it.
Ben M My life is not unbearable. Hell, I'm not even suffering. My point is that despite its relative ok-ness, my life is still pointless, and so is everyone else's regardless of additional circumstances.
check out Rick and Morty, season 2 episode 3 it's called Auto Erotic Assimilation Unity is a kind of Borg hivemind that wants to become God, nothing wrong with that
They talk about loneliness as something to “endure”, for some of us being alone is a delight! When I’m in a group of people trying to interact with them I feel exhausted it drains me, it literally feels as if I’m diluting as if I’m being washed away it’s an unsettling feeling, in any event I make a real effort to socialize because family is important to me and they’re diehard extroverts, it’s a thing I have to “endure” because I love them.
Its truly sad how many people are either unaware of or ignore the cross century understanding we can find from books, and art. I wouldn't be surprised if feelings of loneliness as a collective people has risen significantly with our current age.
555sarin You can see lots ppl dont understand the logic here which i agree with you. Why detest of being alone? human is already alone from the start to the end!
It's no one fault. It's within human nature to be sociable to some extend, and certainly you have to rely on other for help and support from time to time. But beside those time you will be alone again. Wife, kids, parents they will all gone, not nessecary die, one day eventually. To accept fate of loneliness one must accept that nothing will last and all these man-made relationship can easily be destroy like paper. "Die surrounded by family? Nah, only you that die and you will go alone, other are just there to comfort you." Of course, in daily life even I don't think like this, it just bigger picture.
There is nothing wrong with the fact, that no one completely understands anyone. And why we should be finding someone that share the same views and feelings with us. When you communicate with a person that have a different perception of the world or different values you can take something for yourself or share some your views and maybe change or extend some views of the person you're communicating with. Furthermore, this is how you develop your own UNIQUE personality, by constantly interacting with other people, you're not born with your current personality, it was developed with help of society, we like 'build' each other and it's okay to be different, 'cause when two identical things interact with each other nothing happens.
This is something I've been trying to explain to people for a long time but never truly knew how. You nailed it. It saddens me how very few people are able to enjoy loneliness just because they have backwards mentality about it. It's just self destructive. :c
Human beings belong to the social species. We need other people in order to be healthy. More so, we need to have a connection and bond with someone else. Taking care of each other and working in a team has let us survive and evolve. When a member of the group was abondened, it was a death sentence. The pain of loneliness is a deep wired signal of our genes to help us survive and procreate. We don't live in small tribes anymore and have spread into big societies. This makes it more difficult to find a place of belonging. So yea, it is indeed influenced by societies' dictations (I'd rather consider them 'rules' or 'values'), but also the ability (fear) to survive as part of a social species.
Spin around (like a whirling dervish) clockwise(yang northern hemisphere/yin southern hemisphere) or counterclockwise (yin northern hemisphere/yang southern hemisphere) (torus spinning). Chant any of these mantras 3 times each while facing east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northernhemisphere): "ieouah", "um"(like "from"), "aum" and "om". Sleep with your head placed east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northern hemisphere). Stare into the flower of life before sleep. Perform the 5 Tibetan rites. Play music at 440hz, 528hz, 432hz, and 396hz.
This is the beautiful truth. Isolation creates a need for expression. My life is totally carried by the need I have for expression. It's what drives me, how I make decisions. I absolutely think depth and complexity has something to do with the extend of isolation in a person's life. The backside to the story is however, that isolation can become so crippling, that one loses one's character.
Frederik Rokamp Pedersen ever since I became a certain age, sometime when I was a child. I was reclusive. my entire life seems to have been centered around my thoughts and my room. This added to my social anxiety, and of course, it's bad to be on my ass. But the knowledge you can gain when alone, with the exception egotistical bullshit that may be swishing around, is amazing.
Same here. Been lonely for quite some time now. I've always been a socially anxious ad introverted person but loneliness exacerbated it. I've tried to read during this time, spent hundreds of hours on internet trying to amuse myself and also learnt about my own self as I introspected a lot. But I still long human company nothing can take its place, I really miss my friends who have moved to other countries. I've felt depressed at times. I thought I would learn to live like this but loneliness made me realize what I truly wanted: a friend. Yes, loneliness is better than bad company but It's not good to romanticize it as this video does. The need to connect on a deeper level sometimes ignores the small moments of joy that we can have with most of the people around us.
Indeed it is. Being alone can be a very valuable thing. I know it is for me. But especially as I've grown older, I've learned to value being with others more and more. I'll always value being alone, but I think it's also worth talking about the many different perspectives and feelings of temporary connectivity we get from being with other people. Conversations can be food for thought, and can simmer for days, months and even years. You grow as a person from many things. Being alone and being with others are among those. Humans are social creatures though, and being alone for too long isn't healthy for most people.
In my expierence most of introverted people a very sensible , reflective and intelligent. And extroverted... well... not that much. Thats like a scale. However the real big challenge now is to be booth, intelligent and open-minded at the same time...
If you are really lonely, get a dog - They are amazing, they can be a pain too, but always be kind and you have a real friend for life! They make you get up and go out into the fresh air, and they are always happy to see you!
comedyman112 Nothing feels as good as loving yourself enough to sit alone with yourself. Not even the love of my spouse feels as good as that. Hell, not even the love my kids have for me feels as good as loving myself...probably because I didn't do it for so long.
Matthew Harris ..hi..so do I. .and in total isolation..small holiday coastal village at coast ..only 2 months a year people..I am only resident in 4 blocks..3 dogs..2 parrots and myself..have 1 friend up coast...see her twice a month for a visit....24/7 by myself....and! bloody great!!!..utter quiet and peace..sound of waves and smell of ocean...bliss...
This is brilliant and true …..and I am speaking from experience. One of the best things we can do is to learn to live with ourselves . If we do this we can then look for a partner but also know that if we don’t find the right one -we have built up huge resources in ourself. Far better to live alone and have friends than to be with the wrong person.
Feriel bishop, what if you didn't have to feel that way at all? Putting your faith in mankind isn't where its at. Much more to life than fallible human relationships.
this is what I needed and I feel less lonely because of that video. I search for dark truths when I feel unsure or unsafe or out of the world even . this helped to understand me better so I feel like this is art what you are doing in this channel. and I want to consume more of this channel. I got goosebumps watching this
I get that feeling quite often when I watch these videos. The School of Life is quickly becoming my favorite channel. If you like these videos, you should really consider reading through the Book of Life. A lot of these videos are based off parts of it. They've left a link in the description.
Blueman1027 yes I've heard about it but I've never actually considered buying it. I live in Turkey so I don't know if they ship it here. I will check it out though, thank you
I used to find comfort in loneliness but now I have someone I can share my inner most thoughts with and I've never had so much confidence and appreciation for life Every one needs a person in their life who understands them and can give them constructive feedback
I never feel lonely. I actually feel like I miss myself after I spend enough time with people. I can only enjoy relationships if I limit how much we see eachother to once a week. Not sure if this is bad, but I tend to dissapoint friends and loved onces for not being available enough.
+Joe M I'm an introvert as well. What I have found, is that I actually start getting repulsive when I feel someone is getting too close to me, even though I would love to be able to share a more intimate relationship. I think it is a fear, deep down, of disappointing the potential partner, so I won't make that a possibility in the first place.
This is by far in my opinion, one of the most enlightening videos on this channel. I used to think being alone and sometimes still do in times of unwanted isolation that I am doomed to fall into a spiral of depression and die of impoverishment. But some of these values the video has told me has shined through for me in some situations. For example, a few years back into my childhood I used to be an outcast and failed miserably (to hold onto someone) to the point I stopped trying so hard to rely on others to make me solely happy. As the years fell into a sinkhole of pure solitude I began to ponder and observe more with myself and my surroundings. I reached out for philosophy and advice such as this channel to learn and deepen my understanding of social intimacy and how to better find the people who could embrace me altogether whole, without hesitation, to build a wholesome life with. I dedicated myself as an ambassador of self-betterment. I went to the gym, learned some songs to sing and play to, put in a long-term commitment to learn a language, indulged in aspirations for E-sports and worked harder for my place in university. Although the work part of self-betterment had put me in a trance, I could see more and more further into the horizons as I float aimlessly in empty space. To search better for the "ones" I long for, you may one day find someone else float towards you. Ever so slowly you'll fall together, back down into the earthly atmosphere, on a meadow of joy, laughter and warmth in due comfort. So whenever you find yourself lost and feel like screaming in the soundless vacuum of space. Take the time recognize yourself and reflect on yourself. In due time , another opportunity shall present itself and you will be more prepared by the end of it to find your place of "belonging". I still search for that meadow I could call home with the right company. But for now I will continue to better myself, to shine as bright as a star so anyone alone can start floating towards me, no matter how far.
This video was recommended to me and it came at such a perfect time! I am a songwriter so knowing that my words can connect with people and we'll connect on that level makes me feel so much better about my loneliness :)
A philosopher is more afraid of being understood than being misunderstood. Maybe we needlessly complicate our existence because of the possibility that humans are simple creatures and what is simple is unimportant, thus our need to feel important makes us go around finding new weird and interesting things to say about ourselves. Think hard and you will find a lot of close people kind of blurring the issue of their own identity, they have complicated lives, they have weird hobbies, they are "different", they don´t want to talk about certain important subjects, all these things they say about themselves to run away from the prospect of simplicity and understanding, because if you are understood then you are simple, and if you are simple then you are unimportant and not worth investing more time into, so you delude yourself into thinking you are messed up in an interesting way and you work your life around strengthening that weirdness. And at some point people lose interest in your identity, and then you lose interest in that identity, and you find yourself in the middle of an identity crisis. Funny thing is the more simple your answers to the problems in life, the more sincere you are to yourself and others, at least that´s what I find myself thinking at the moment :)
Thanks. Always refreshing to find brilliant thinking like this on TH-cam. (and by brilliant thinking I'm referring to your comment, in addition to the video)
No. Life is definitely more complicated than less. You can make it simple by ignoring all the details--but that's all it is: ignorance. And ignorance is bliss.
Lonely we enter a long and grand tradition, we find ourselves in surprisingly in great company. Enduring loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding onto a sincere, ambitious view of what companionship must and could be. My eyes spilt their blood upon utterance of your beautiful words.
It's crazy how we all feel the same and can relate to eachother yet we feel like no one understands...
I noticed it with myself.. feeling with the other person is one thing. Putting my empathy in words, so that they get it is another. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's comic.. Yet it is definetely a learnable thing *cheer*
im not sure if we live in the same world but in my world people always insult loners and say hahaha u have no friends like seriously there is nothing wrong with being a loner
true
its called the hedgehog dilema...
This is called depression
"Loneliness is a tax we have to pay to atone for a certain complexity of mind."
Bravo. Eminently quotable.
good quote indeed, although surely there are complex minds out there that are open enough to understand my simple one :)
Onderzoek It's BS though...only a minority of the population suffers from chronic loneliness
Neal Kelly I think he's talking about a much deeper sense of loneliness--the existential loneliness we all face, even if we're surrounded by people 24/7.
Szymon W Humility is the beginning of wisdom. I think you're much more complex than you let on my friend. :)
The quote is just not true...our large brains are not the direct cause of loneliness, perhaps indirectly because of the social stratification caused by capitalism...but complex minds should be able to find a way to defeat loneliness
“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone”
Orson welles
I really love that quote
It hits so hard but true at the same time
The Irish have a saying, “You’re born in pain, live in suffering and die alone! Have a great day.
@@richarthur3069 So basically we're all deemed to die away with an useless life, alone.. that's motivating..
“The irony of loneliness is that we all feel it together” - Rupi Kaur
Insightful
"I hate these people who deprive me of my loneliness without bringing me company" Irvin David Yalom
WOW!
Happens every time...
I have almost lost my life trying to please fake friends who were around me for what they wanted to gain but their hearts were very far from me. I am alone now but at peace and safe.
What a quote! It could be said by the character of his novel, The Schopenhauer Cure. Lovely.
loreta ben same Literally almost died just to please others and when I was in the hospital all of my “friends” n even lover never showed up I was in there for a month.. now I’m back to work w very little friends but at peace and very happy .. I’m glad you’re at peace too.
"The history of art is the record of people who couldn't find anyone in the vicinity to talk to."
_well said_
Beautiful! ❤👍
The curse of every artist is to be loved for what you do, but not for who you are.
@@euanelliott3613 Exactly.A few years ago i was reading an interview with the Australien Popsinger Kylie Minogue.And she said》When you on stage you feel like a super women.But when the show is over and you are alone in your hotelroom you feel like the loneliest person in the world...
Spin around (like a whirling dervish) clockwise(yang northern hemisphere/yin southern hemisphere) or counterclockwise (yin northern hemisphere/yang southern hemisphere) (torus spinning). Chant any of these mantras 3 times each while facing east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northernhemisphere): "ieouah", "um"(like "from"), "aum" and "om". Sleep with your head placed east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northern hemisphere). Stare into the flower of life before sleep. Perform the 5 Tibetan rites. Play music at 440hz, 528hz, 432hz, and 396hz.
@@J.A.Hansen That's how I feel when I work customer service and talk to all my shallow and fake regulars only to go home, lay down and stare at the ceiling.
This made me feel a little less lonely.
Ashley Nguyen don't be ashamed of it, embrace your loneliness
NPJ Global ^^^
she isnt ashamed
Ashley Nguyen same
hey Ashley, hope you have a wonderful day!
" Enduring loneliness is almost invariably better than suffering the compromise of false community."
which is why Id rather be alone on bdays than be with friends that make feel I had to feign happiness.
True
But what would be the idea of a false community? What is a false community? Everybody seems to have different opinions on what would be considered false.
@@jRex918 I think it is simply to be surrounded by people who don't accept you but force you to behave in a way that suits them
I believe what he actually said here was “forced community”. Either way, it’s elegantly stated.
When I’m lonely I sometimes wonder if I’m at peace or just hopelessly lost
That`s impossible. The two are as different as day amd night!
I know what you mean. Dunno if you believe me or if it matters, but I do. When I'm alone and doing things by myself, something in me sticks something sharp in me. It communicates something like: "You're wasting time. Why aren't you out there trying to meet people? Why aren't you fixing the reasons you're alone? Shouldn't you be doing something more constructive?" And I feel some sort of strange guilt afterwards about all the times I was alone, but which I can remember and even revere. I get bombarded with doubt about whether or not I'm avoiding something, being lazy or choosing the easy way.
This is inspiringly insightful
i feel the same, it really sucks
I feel you, guess I am on the same boat as you are. Especially when I see happy people surrounding by family, and friends I feel like an outcast.
Anybody who came here to watch this, including me. I just wanna tell you it's okay. I feel scared too.
park chanyeol is a giant baby fight me we are all we have, yet we keep killing each other and poisoning our home 😔
Park Chanyeol im scared ill live a long life
Hey! Nice to meet you!
I was scared i'm the only one...
Aww this is such a sweet comment. Nearly made me cry
I'll take loneliness over fakeness every time.
u nd i should be friends... This is the exact quality i look for in a friend.. And i believe u and i share the same quality..
Mazie Ferreira Well, everyone is at least a bit fake. Right?
i SkyWalKing Jesus bro, chill out.
i SkyWalKing what the actual fuck
Mazie Ferreira me too..
I prefer being alone, then surrounded by lots of people who make me FEEL lonely
Me too.
Never assume you feel isolated, a complex existence, disturbing to society, failure to comply means you remain alone, are you blaming yourself or your environment, conspiracy theory, is it my fault, despite the spite, no one loves anyone, realise that people won't get you, was it out of character, it suggests your lonely ⛔
It's so bad belong to people that make me feel lonely 💀 goddamn
“The history of art is the record of people who couldn’t find anyone in the vicinity to talk to” ♥️
Not really sure of this one :') but if that can make you feel better why not
@@sarahconnorh4609 its my belief that most comments come from bots
@@carmichaelmoritz8662 I'm not one. + I've studied history of art in France and i don't make it like "woaw such a great personnality such a great human" we are all the same, morons xD
here[sex pistols]they gotcha covered.
Based on my experience this is true. Even a person who once mattered everything to me is not someone I could easily talk to. They may appreciate art without knowing the feelings behind it.
"Enduring loneliness is almost invariably better than suffering the compromises of forced community. Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding on to a sincere ambitious view of what companionship must--and could--be."
Wow. So true.
Jeremy Signorelli yeo, these words suddenly made me feel so good. I thought I was too picky with friendships but this way the few I have are really intense and interesting.
Jeremy Signorelli fuck that
Jeremy Signorelli try being lonely your whole life not by choice
Julio Sanchez yes. The answer this video is giving, is, try art. Goethe felt the same, surrounded by friends.
Until you can't, anymore.
these videos turn darkness into light
+
Sometimes darkness can show you the light!
Disturbed - The Light
The light was always in the darkness
there is no light without darkness
there is no darkness without substance and light. light hits Rick rock creates shadow.
"We appeard on Earth at a different time" that cuts so deep , because it is so true
Exactly we can never find one who understand us completely and thats make us unique and ALone
Loneliness is so painful. Yet I endure it because I have hope. Hope that one day this feeling will pass and I will stop longing for it to pass because I will be content with myself.
Donna Ryan loneliness is not painful, pain comes from longing for what you can't have. Loneliness is empty and calm, soothing and peaceful.
Just because u see couples are happy outside does not mean they are truly happy, most are fake happiness, you have more time and space to yourselves than most couples do.
@@touxiong519 it's painful if you don't want be alone and have a desire of loved and cared by someone else.
But humans are pretty simple, just give them love and attention they will be all yours. Touch someone's emotion good or bad and most probably they will never forget you.
Accept that it will never pass. You will die lonely. The little islands where people come into your life are like the beautiful, warm sunny days. Appreciate those times when they come, but don't desperately hang on to that connection any more than you'd hang on to the warm sunny day. You know it will pass and it doesn't crush you when it does.
@@aluisious Absolutely! You stole the words right outta my mouth
“I almost wish we were butterflies and liv'd but three summer days - three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.” - John Keats (poet)
If you can not be at peace in your own company then you can't be truly at peace anywhere.
How High Can You Fly what if you're dead?
mangaka08 Try face yourself and your problems instead of looking for a way out. Take full responsibility for yourself.
Check out a guy called Johnny Berba. Watch his recent videos. He may have some answers for you.
That's why I'm always working on that! It's actually much better for me now than it used to be. I feel much more fine with being lonely and also when away from the computer.
I'm fine when I'm on my own. It's mingling with my other that gets tricky. I'm in that relationship where there is no communication and understanding. Yet they get it from another..
the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself
~ Douglas Coupland
Interesting comment: seems the universe deliberately wants to always spoil that need, with the worst possible solutions.
O really even for 5 years in a row.
lmao you feel smart got this now??
Its something scary to me, but i find it to be true!
Beautiful quote! ❤👍
It’s so funny how we are a lot of people who can understand each other bc maybe we have similar stories but probably we will never meet
@Ghost 💯... I think there won't even be a connection if we met. If does happen we meet, our relationship has to be spontaneous.
Never say never .. ✌☺
Yeah
Tell me about it . But at least we’ve a glimpsed a community , no matter how widely it might be dispersed .
@Ghost yup , Wolfgang von Goethe was right .
"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company" Jean-Paul Sartre
Finally a quotation from someone worth quoting.
Goethe (quoted in the video) is _not_ worth quoting??
I never thought I would like a quote made by that man.
Why do we talk about the weather? Sometimes it's all we have in common.
Dana Campbell never thought about it that way, such a beautiful thinking of senseless small talk
And that I guess is the meaningful intercourse we have in a world of often, meaningless hyped up jargon that constantly bombard our thinking through facebook, etc.
Very thoughtful and good responses. It's windy here today and a bit cool. How's your weather?
its very sunny and tropical with a slight breeze, despite the fact it is the middle of autumn, but that is typical of being near the equator
that's a very deep and insightful thought!
I wasnt lonely as a kid. Only as an adult. What happened.
You're lucky though, I was lonely my whole damn life.
Being the only person in my family, school (and probably town) who stutter can really take a kid down. Lol
I think as you grew up, your mind expanded. Point of view formed. As a kid we don't observe, think or contemplate as much. But now as adults we do, which is why we search for companionship with similar thoughts ideas. But we are unable to find the same since everyone else grew up as well and formed different opinions. Idk man, I tried
Kids are so much better at simply accepting others at face value.
complexity of the mine bro
Social programming finished loading
For some reason I’ve always had a premonition of me dying old and lonely. I don’t fear it, I am ready to accept it if it is my fate.
Don't be afraid likeminded, Immanuel kant was never married when died alone at the age 80.
I fear the loss of consciousness, not particularly death but ultimately it is the same thing.
Deaths ok and at least you get a sleep and a long lie in. 😊
When I was younger I assumed I would die old. Now that I'm older I'm hoping I don't have to endure this life much longer
I'm there now, in a remote mountain location, it's likely that no one will claim my body and I will end in the county incinerator,
"I'm lonely, but everyone is lonely so I know at least I'm not alone"-Eyedea
RIP
there is definitely a difference bt feeling lonely and being alone without people around or interacting with you.
He had some of the most beautifully dark poetry I've ever heard, loved his work.
thats deep
SBR Grim Right? It's a shame that he had to leave so early. R.Eye.P
Embracing loneliness its one of the hardest things to do.
It is ..but it can be done. .I know I've been doing it ..embrace it don't fear it.. the strength is within us ..💥☺
@@genocyber0101 after one year i managed to feel in peace with myself, im not in the point i would like to, but im kinda doing it.
It's easy, we can adapt to anything
Becareful not to get comfortable there. You’ll want death after while
@@solosindicate6000 I know exactly what you mean . I'm going through it now smh
Indeed. Loneliness is the price you have to pay to find your own inner peace. Thank you for the video
A agreed!
A nice
Real
thank you so much for this video. i have been an introverted, 'lonely' person all my life, but have sadly come accross the road of changing myself for the pleasure of others, fitting in was my main goal. like the end of the video said, being what you might call lonely is better than suffering the compromises of a false community. i have accepted a long time ago i'm lonely, but have just come to the fact that,, it's okay. i prefer being who i am, practically friendless, than hiding behind a mask, and fitting in society's expectations.
good luck to everyone out there struggling, and (please) be yourself! the world is a much more interesting place with YOU in it.
Damn. That was profound.
Thanks for watching and commenting Jacob.
JACOB HILLER------ I THINK IT'S PROFOUND AT THE START ,THEN, DOESN'T GO INTO ANY DEPTH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BEING SELFISH ,NOR MORALS REGARDING SELFISH, USING, BAHAVOIR.
That is what the rest of The School of Life and Alan Watts lectures are for :-)
superman superman------ He speaks of the power of the written word and other mediums to
communicate with our "soulmates" through time.... and you want to hear
about morals to go deeper into the profound....?
Bill Hicks (very explicit comedian, just a heads up), Alan Watts, Terrence Mckenna, this School of Life series... revolutionary, man.
That means all people and media who scared us to death about loneliness are actually shallow, they prevented us from the chance of self development and being better/deep/creative people. We are all victims of the stupid media and shallow society.
Well said
Yes, everyone is stupid except you.
I like being alone..but at the same time have never felt accepted by any group
Free Speech you are officially accepted into my group
Si mon The Illuminati?
That feeling will go away in time,it's why people go to bars and sit in the same spot for hours and waist there money.I isolated myself from from society years ago and I'm pretty happy with one dog and some cats.Simplicity!
Yup. I have been very independent since pre school age, but at the same time burdened by a vague sting of isolation. Nothing has changed in 30 yrs. Anyways, this is a great video!
I would never belong to any group that would have me as a member.
"It's better to be healthy and alone than sick with someone else." - Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil)
Female Dr. Phil?
Very true and I am alone currently and in better shape physically and financially than I ever was whilst with a badly matched partner. But have you ever met a woman youd be happy to die with than spend your life without her?
@Eric Grijalva I'm so sorry for your loss . My girlfriend who Iived with had heavy depression and took an overdose one night whilst i was away , she was found literally moments before my return, too late though . That was 1993 and i haven't been fully right since . I just had to adapt and get by as best as i could . We wouldve got married, i know that now as I've never met anyone I've been so right with as we were together. Sad tragic story . All the best , I hope you find some peace and happiness.
I highly disagree with the premise that we are alone. I am not alone, I have God Himself, all of His Holy Angels and The Church with me, you do not know the comfort found in Him, knowing that you are not nor will ever be alone or forsaken because that's who He IS. seek Him while He Is Near beloved. seek Him while He can be found, you are NOT alone.
@@ramichahin2 thanks and I wholly agree, as I too believe in God. I'm a Christian, however I'm a very open minded Christian that a lot of Christians would probably, hypocritically judge . But I do believe in God and Jesus i have way too much reason to believe . But i have to keep an open mind . I'll never turn away from christianity but i entertain others interpretations .
No matter how much you get to know someone, no matter how much you share your life, learn about them, feel as though you are almost the same person, there will always be an infinite gulf between who you think they are, and who they really are. You cannot know someone else. You can only know your perception of them. Your experience of that person flows through the filter of your personality, your experience and memories, your biases and intuitions. You don't know them, you know your conception of them. Subjectivity of experience makes truly knowing another person completely impossible. We are all perfectly isolated souls, completely separate from everyone else, desperately reaching out to convince ourselves we aren't really alone.
i wish i was able to express myself this fluently...
Actually you can know them, if you are able to dissolve your ego and fully attend and feel their space and energy, in a sense when you do that you are connecting to the greater whole of the universe, and the person infront of you talking is actually a part of you. It takes a certain kind of channeled spiritual energy to do that tho, you have to be juiced up with universal divine energy to be able to feel the other person pain, and when it happen its beautiful, you can shed a tear and actually pinpoint and feel their memories, because it actually did happen one time in history, and the history of all mankind is a part of you and me. But again to be able to do that, you really need to be juiced up with a very thick divine energy, or else your ego will take over and filters it.
This needs a book... I'd completely be your biggest fan!
Nope, I don't fully accept that view. It's Buddhist conceptualised claptrap. We ARE connected. Sometimes so much so that nothing needs to be said or done; a silence that speaks louder than a 1000 words; a realisation that you're in the right place at the right time, with the right person(s). It's a comfort that needs no effort because it fits.
People are always attaching far too much surface value to everything and everyone, and not living their lives simply and with integrity. This is the human problem.
I'm looking out of myself and everyone else is looking out of themselves.
Tried being an extrovert for a long time. Mostly in my younger years. Always felt different than the others I was around. That led me to believe something was wrong with me. After a lot of self examination I just realized and except that I am different. And there's nothing wrong with that. I spend a lot of time alone, but not all the time. Still have family and friends that I enjoy being around. Just I need my time alone. I love reading, and just learning about fascinating stuff. I find I'm a lot happier and content. For me acceptance is the key to living a good life. Societal expectations kind of paint introverts as "Different" to some extent. But I see some ppl who just can't be alone, and are extreme extroverts. World would be a boring place if everyone was the same. As well I have a healthy spiritual life. Alls good.
there is no such thing as lonely.
i discovered that it is a PHASE that you have, before you get friend that value honesty over acceptability.
want to be my friend? I make honesty == acceptability
You're not different. Every asshole says "I'm different." You're the same as very many other people, and you're not special. Just live your life, with yourself, quietly. "I'm different!" is just another ridiculous cry for attention. Just that much more effort being wasted that could be spent on just keeping yourself company without worrying about it.
I would say loneliness gets worse as you become more and more intelligent. To the masses who simply cannot understand you, loneliness is quite prominent. How can you connect to people who can't understand you, or even those who don't want to?
True, but there are lonely idiots, too.
I think intelligent isn't quite the right word, although I'm almost certain that there's a positive correlation between loneliness and intelligence, as well as between intelligence and the actual quality in question. I'm not sure if there's a word for what I'm thinking of, and I'm not inclined to search for it.
FU 2 No, why do you ask?
Also: "People don't 'become more and more intelligent'. Also loneliness can't "get worse". It's an absolute. Either you're lonely or you're not."
Well, you're using those words very differently than almost everyone else does. People feel emotions with different levels of severity, and people's brains change.
"And the problem is that the very intelligent person just can't abide the average idiot. If he could, dumbing his output down for him or her would be simple enough."
That's a wild over-simplification of the problem.
FU 2 Yes, I was well aware of the intent behind your question. I was hoping to coax you into being less hostile. As for why I commented: impulse. I had a faint hope that my thoughts would be understood.
"People DON'T become more and more intelligent." As I said, you seem to be using the word "intelligent" in an unusual way. What definition are you using?
"Loneliness can't get worse. You're either lonely or you're not." Hunger can't get worse. You're either hungry or you're not.
"And the 'loneliness' of the intelligent is brought on my themselves, due to their incapacity to handle the puerile babbling of those of average intelligence."
What an odd way to approach the issue. How is loneliness "brought on" by the lonely if it stems from their inherent inability?
I'm sorry for the ambiguity behind this comment. Perhaps I should have explained my thinking behind it more thoroughly. I believe there are levels of intellectualism, whether culturally or socially based. And what I meant by "loneliness getting worse" was the depth of how loneliness can affect an individual, or at least how much or often it is perceived. Yes, loneliness can affect anyone, no matter their intelligence, and I realise this. What I was trying to say was that some individuals of "higher" intellect, as it were, may be able to feel the depths of loneliness at a greater scale than what a "layman" might. I'm not saying that I'm a genius or anything. By no means am I saying that. Rather, I myself, am of average intelligence, and yet I still feel as I try to explain myself in topics I am passionate about, few are able to understand me. That is probably my own fault, in that I simply am not conveying the message properly, but I digress. I didn't intend for this comment to sound so one-sided or biased in any sense.
The stigmatization of loneliness makes it all worse but I'm glad we've gotten out of it slowly
I find social settings constraining: full of rules, expectations and compromises. I need and enjoy social life like most people, but I have learned that my need for company is unusually small compared to my need for being alone. This is a source of anxiety, because I find it difficult to tell people I want to be alone, partly out of fear that they will interpret it as rejection, and partly out of fear that they will think negatively about me for wanting to be alone.
Oh dude, that sucks. I'm very much prefer my alone time, but I've been fortunate to be surrounded by people that usually get that, at least on some level.
Not sure if it helps, but I've found there are two extremes on this stuff. There are people who are extremely social and seem to GAIN energy from being around others. Then, there are people like you and me who gather energy whilst alone to be SPENT while being around others. Perhaps try explaining it that way to people? I've found it helps the socialites in my friendship circles better understand where I'm coming from.
You're definitely an introvert, welcome to the club! :) What helped me deal with my introversion was reading up on it, it made me realise that feeling like this is quite common and there's no need to worry. Actually, being an introvert is great, they can entertain themselves and are usually great listeners (which is becoming an increasingly rare virtue).
If you are unhappy with that need, perhaps you don't value being alone as much as you think, or perhaps it's indeed just shame telling you you shouldn't feel that. Investigate further into it and find out what is true for you. Nobody can tell you this. It's your own personal and in some sense beautiful experience. I'd have to disagree with Jamie, I don't think extremes is a great way of looking at things. There's alot of grey area, mostly because people often don't act on the outside according to how they feel on the inside, for example anxious or depressed people. Also, I'd say don't fall into the trap of labelling yourself one way or another. If you're unhappy with being anxious or introverted then that it's possibly not who you truly are. And about the social settings: they are constraining, but they're like that for everyone. Try to let go of resisting this and just go with the flow. I find that helps me a ton. All of what I've said is just out of my personal experience, you shouldn't believe anything that goes against your own experience :)
Jos Schroons OP didnt say they are unhappy. its just the way it is. what they say about needing a lot of alone time is exactly how a introvert is described. you shouldnt make people feel like they should be acting like an extrovert, theres nothing wrong with being an introvert, they usually enjoy smaller closer social environments, and usually less of it. watch the power of introvert, to see how society makes people feel like there is something wrong with being an introvert
Stilts Of course there's nothing wrong with being introverted. There's nothing wrong with anything. But, as I said, I speak from personal experience and OP doesn't have to take anything I say seriously. It's just reflective of my own situation. I have social anxiety. When it comes on strong, I am an asocial wreck and I hate talking to anyone at all. When I don't, which has only begun to be the case in the last year or so, I'm super outgoing naturally. I understand why you said I tried to shame him though, but it wasn't my intent and I apologize if it came off that way. What I learned from my experience is that personality is not fixed. It's mostly conditioned by our past. Lots of people act in a way that is not at all who they are on the inside. Could be like that for OP, or couldn't, who am I to know. If you know introvertedness to be the core of what you are, then by all means be it. My own healing only started after I started to see the power of alone time. In my opinion, not being true to yourself is the real problem.
What's the power of the introvert, a film? Sounds interesting :)
i'd rather be lonely than be imprisoned in a lousy relationship i can't get out of.
"Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding on to a sincere, ambitious view of what companionship must and could be."
Marjory Sheba so beautiful
This channel has some great writers I wonder what they have lived through and seen to be so wise
que no pare la fie ta don't stop the pary!
I understand me perfectly...I like me immensely. I enjoy my mind, humor, talents, inquisitiveness, observations and everyday experiences.... I enjoy me.... I also have two dogs to cuddle Life is GRAND..I am, happy, blessed and wouldn't change a thing. I am alone ...but never lonely. I am my own best friend and I am the best friend I have ever had.
That's the best and most positive outlook to have .. Especially if you are alone. But aren't there moments when u are hit with an strong emotion of not being around many people that really understand you and can share your everyday dreams, hopes and miseries ?
@@meghna7863 Nope...never...honestly...never... Valentine's Day it would be nice to get some flowers and some candy but only nice... not necessary.... if I really want them I buy them... I do have family I spend Christmas with my kids and lots of other times too but I live alone and I love love love love love it
I’m gonna make this a daily affirmation for myself! lol.. everything I feel I should feel but my thinking mind stops me. I am grateful I am me. 😊
"Loneliness is the tax we pay to atone for our complexity of mind" this is one of the most profound things I have heard in my life
mine was ( we ourselves have become the eater of God's)
You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something. That's what the phones are taking away, is the ability to just sit there. That's being a person. Because underneath everything in your life there is that thing, that empty-forever empty. That knowledge that it's all for nothing and that you're alone. It's down there.
And sometimes when things clear away, you're not watching anything, you're in your car, and you start going, 'oh no, here it comes. That I'm alone.' It's starts to visit on you. Just this sadness. Life is tremendously sad, just by being in it...
That's why we text and drive. I look around, pretty much 100 percent of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard. - Louis C.K.
I've watched this interview of Louis CK, he's very true about it. He's great man explaining his philôsophy in a funny and simple way
Charziken909 the point completely went over your head.
@Finn.__.M: Not necessarily. Can be Absurdism or Existentialism.
We're All Thieves Amazing. Love how he talked about this
We're All Thieves ....... goddammit shut the fuck up!!!! like your Mr or miss perfect.
If you do happen to find someone on exactly the same page of the soul as you, and you lose them, you will feel even lonelier than before.
very true , it happened to me and i feel more lonely than ever
I couldn't agree more...🥺
Lacey Juk yep. I came here looking to relate to others. Here I am feeling worse than I did before. Fuckin way she goes.
Lacey Juk Yes. I agree. I never knew that until it happened.
I wish I couldn't relate to this... but I can : (
After six years I’m surprised to say but relieved, that this is not the most viewed video on your channel. Which kind of describes the fact that I am unique but not alone in my loneliness. I know I am not like many others and this video is giving me more help than you could know. Thank you ❤
Anyone else here rejected by mother, family,churches, work,neighbours, strangers, and so called friends?
Odd one out and about, yes
I am rejected by those people considered as "desirable" such as normies.
Rejected by mother, father and the one I loved.
ODD-one out n about absolutely. My brothers untimely death started the journey of loneliness for me. My husband died tragically three weeks after my only brother. It’s destroyed my “family” and my mother and father have completely turned their backs on me. It’s very painful to live like this. Hope things get better for you.,
@@justarandomgirl7994 me too.
I can relate to every single word!
"You better starve, than eat whatever. And better be alone, than with whoever.” ― Omar Khayyám, Rubaiyat.
I am speechless. I've reached reasonably the same conclusion when I was little. I couldn't say it out loud, but I've felt this way my entire life. This video was so motivating for me
Yes! I felt exactly the same way, but everyone tells me I need to reach out to people I don't connect with in shallow relationships... I finally feel just a bit more sane now that I know that there are other people out there who think this way.
I ended up hating shallow people until I realized there is no behavior that is right or wrong. If their shallowness comes either from ignorance or is intended (or most probably both), it doesn't matter, it's who they are, the same way I am the way I am. So, Melody Powers, or anyone else reading, don't hate them for trying to give you, what seems to be (and most probably is) bad advice, like I did, but rather thank them or at least be nice. Take the best out of what they tell you and throw away the rest.
I don't believe there is a such thing as a shallow person. Yes, some people may be more deep thinkers than others, most likely from exposure to an environment where deep thinking is encouraged and modeled, but everyone around is a complicated individual with secret complexities that we will likely never realize. Using the word "shallow", I was describing forced relationships and casual acquaintanceship, not the actual people around me.
Grotok I'm in the sixth grade and none of my classmates are "complex" like me(not trying to brag) but I often get bullied for having different views on stupid topics like roasting. My classmates seem pretty shallow and predictable and I know I'll never fit in because of a lot of the points in this video. I'm so glad I can move back to my original country.
You're like a mirror of me 15 years ago lol. Focus on what's important for you while treating them with the same shallow attitude they treat you. You will, at some point, even forget they existed. It's just how school works and noone's doing anything about it, or ever will, for that matter.
At first you are lonely and then you slowly start enjoying your own company,than gradually you realize that it's blissful to be alone rather than a curse.
Absolutely
Or you're in denial.
We need human connection as living beings.
I believe we need to feel connected and this comes from a very introverted and detached person.
@Ari Jappendi We are pack animals, we need to be amongst our kind to survive. All throughout evolution humans and their ancestors needed a pack. For food, for social interaction, for reproduction; it's what kept them and keeps us alive. Buddhist monks can achieve "peace" as you call it but i do not believe it is ideal or true. I believe they learn to trick themselves into thinking they live in peace which works very well, not going to doubt that but it isn't true.
I think the problem is the social game that rules our society with great influence today. I mean, if a person is pure and want something positive, most of the time the person will conflicted with social "rules" that are stupid... Media and all this crap alienates people... Too much materialism, I don't know... I really think if a person can be alone and don't engage in destructive addictions, is very positive.
Just to be clear : I'm completely in favor of a true companionship. I'm not a " companionship" hater at all. Cheers everyone !
Actually I chose honesty over acceptability and that's partly why everyone hates me.
Yesssssss
well then,
can i be your friend?
i am also rejected by everyone because i chose honesty over acceptability (i was punished for self defense in school and i stood my ground)
never think of loneliness as existing, it is only a stage that you have until you get friend that also value honesty over acceptability
🤣🤣
@@vitalnutrients744 there are chances that this is not going to happen. This is hope, a "cancer" that perpetuates a behavior that do not have good consequences. But if it does happens, the chances are that you will change a bit to keep this important person, and it is ok if you do.
Can relate
"We are born alone, we die alone so why can't we live alone" -Diogenes
Well if you have a twin then you're not born alone
The fucking madlad
Cuz it hurts like shit
We're born alone, we die alone, and somewhere in between there, we live alone.
Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into
you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness.
Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that
space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great
exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you
will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to
understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the
cattle stand in your way. -Janet Fitch , White Oleander
inspiring
Loneliness is not a human condition. That's utter nonsense. Look at indigenous folks or maybe even at countries that haven't been yet totally westernized.
Thank you 🙏🏻 I
@@liukang85 " Look at indigenous folks or maybe even at countries that haven't been yet totally westernized"
What do mean by that?
I think it means that tribal societies have more interpersonal cohesion & connectivity than industrialised societies.There aren't as many alienating cracks to fall into in a tribal society, although the ultimate existential solitudes of life & death are still unavoidable.
Sometimes I think being alone toooo much is bad, but each time I try to go out & I think of the shallow conversations that are going to ensue, I simply meditate, grab a new book & explore new worlds between the covers of my book. Contentment right there, right... there.
Being alone is not the same as loneliness.
@@elhollins5988 difference?
@@leanhanleleanah6929 @Human Male Hi HM, so "lonliness" is a painful emotion. In contrast, "being alone" just means there are no other people around at present. Sometimes being alone is a relief. Lonliness is never a relief. The vid wasn't about being alone, it was about lonliness, although i do appreciate what jacobjacob said. When i contemplate going out and enduring the pain of meaningless chitchat, i just stay in and watch yt videos instead.
It is a mistake to base your happiness and satisfaction in life on relationships with others, because they will eventually fail you. Perhaps the person who is somewhat lonely but independent is stronger in the long run because that person can better deal with the adversities that eventually come along. One should strive for a circle of friends, but accept that friends come and go. I'm retired and single, and have realized three rules to life; life is mostly luck, life is unfair, and if you find any joy in life I can guarantee you that someone or forces beyond your control will try and take it away.
ive learned 2 rules in my life:
1. Never tell anyone everything you know
2.
joe inderbitzen it is better to share your learning and experiences with everyone so that like minded people associate with it.
gwwayner you are so right
gwwayner I refuse to think and live in such a depressing way.
gwwayner how is life unfair if the 'unfairness' happens to all?
“We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out, just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down with us trapped, locked in it.”
― Tennessee Williams
Couldn't say it better myself.
1. " Connecting with people" is a very tricky thing really...Sometimes it is easier to feel connected to people when you are NOT around them. For example, after spending 3 hours at a dinner party you may come back home feeling totally depressed, which is of course nobody's fault. But then you may spend a day or two in silence, reading
( mainly dead people) and you may find hope again. I remember Alain saying that when we turn to art, we look for what we don't have. The same with literature of course. That's why it is the best place to look for hope. Otherwise where do you supposed to hear someone saying:
" All men will be brothers"
( from "Ode to Joy" )
I hope Schiller really meant it though! And may be Beethoven composed it because he seriously believed in it? I am glad they are both peacefully dead now and don't have to see how it all went afterwards...
Looking for hope, consolation or some acceptable dose of delusion, you must also listen to the most beautiful voice of Crete, Nikos Ksilouris, singing these wonderful verses by Ritsos in "Kαι να αδερφέ μου" :
"... And so my brother,
At last we have learnt how to discuss
Quietly, peacefully, plainly.
We understand each other now;
Nothing more is needed.
And tomorrow, I say,
Things will be even simpler.
We will find the words
That carry the same weight
In all hearts ,
On all lips,
So that from here on
We can tell things as they are".
2. The best metaphor of loneliness for me is Martin Scorsese's excellent dark comedy " After Hours"! The story of that poor guy who wants just one simple thing: " to get home". But nobody understands him! He does trust everyone he encounters, and he tells them his story but they all get him wrong! They all terribly disappoint him. But they are kind people too... They just live in different worlds. Like all of us. It reminds me of these lines by Garcia Lorca:
"... and the heart feels like an island in infinity".
( el corazón se siente isla en el infinito )
The challange is to be able to laugh at ourselves, just the way we laugh at the guy in the movie!
3. If you want real, solid consolation though, Aristotle's view on "virtuous friendship" is very helpful. Here is what he says:
"........Virtuous friendship, however, is described as complete and the ultimate form of love. This type of friendship happens between few people, is long lasting, and must be between people with a certain moral character. Those involved in virtuous friendships must be able to value loving over being loved and as such, their relationship will be based more around loving the other person and wanting what is good for them."
Despite being a very solitary soul and having talked a lot about stillness and silence, Pico Iyer says:
" I think to be human really means to be connected".
Aristotle's advice sounds like the wisest way to get there, no matter how lonely we all may be.
Lua Veli Good points outlined here.
Hey Paul, thank you so much for reading all this! Have a nice weekend:-)
well, that was... so educational. It reminded me of alain de botton 's consolations of philosophy; what a nice contribution,I love thoughtful people like you. Please,Stay amazing.
Hello there! Thanks a lot for your time and for such a friendly message:-) Oh,I am so glad you mention that book by Alain, " The Consolations of Philosophy". It is really wonderful. It has helped me enormously. We must recommend it to everybody. I send you my best wishes!
Oh unfortunately...But thanks a lot for reading and for writing back. All the best! :-)
Out of all of the School of Life videos I have watched, this is the best one I have ever seen. I even wrote down notes on two pieces of paper. Everything discussed here spoke words to me. It is so reassuring to know I am not alone in thinking this way and that maybe, just maybe, I can learn to accept my loneliness for what it is and even maybe start appreciating it. Thank you for making this.
Carly Friebel IKR I for one have watched and rewatched this video what feels like a million times...
I don't think we're biologically capable of accepting loneliness. Sure we can have moments of clarity, moments where we can understand the pointlessness of existence. But these moments are fleeting. They're drowned out by the "noise"' of our lives. We evolved to live in groups and communities so our biology wouldn't allow us to live alone or even accept our loneliness for prolonged periods of time. This is why people choose to end their existence when they see no hope of connection. When they gaze into the truly horrifying abyss of utter and complete loneliness
I actually couldn't relate more.
My mom doesn't accept that I prefer to be alone, than with other people that can't comprehend how I am or what I'm thinking.
Never thought of art being a product of loneliness, that's amazing.
dnplk That was one of the best parts for me!
that's a stupid premise, art is basic communication, even some species of bird use it to attract mates
dnplk Or someone who isn't lonely, and is happy with themselves, and want to share their happiness with others... yeah I thought that part was a little BS too lol
dnplk you can make art without being lonely, what this video is saying when youre lonely youre more free to think for yourself and not worry about the pressures of what everyone else might think
Rhazelle Of course not all art stems from loneliness, I suppose I made my comment look like a generalization. I just really like the metaphor of "message in a bottle" art.
I have a friend group that I hang out with but I always feel like I just observe when they converse and I am not part of it. I was always a chronic introspective guy but I was making myself think my loneliness was a by-product of simply lack of trying. I think I was born to not fit in however biased that may seem. I never seemed to fit in. I always try to compensate but I realize that compensating masks myself. I'm gonna stop that and accept my loneliness. I will still hang out with friends if I want to but there's no need to rush anything. Dying lonely is better than dying next to mannequins.
I spent the last years of my life travelling and doing things alone and I have never been happier..All those forced relationships with people rarely offered me something special...I learned that by spending time with yourself you learn to be happy and not depend on anyone!!
I couldn't have phrase it better
Juan Rodriquez bang on
"No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by" quote from Franz Schubert, one of the loneliest geniuses who's ever lived.
I think there's a lot of truth to this quote. We can only see things from the outside. I can see your sadness, but that doesn't mean your sadness is the same thing I feel whenever I am sad. I don't think its possible for two people to fully understand each other. No matter how well you think you know someone, being presented with novel circumstances has a way of surprising us in more ways than one.
I am alone in my perspective, and in my place in the universe
Wow..iv'e felt this way all my life. This guy nailed it. I've always felt more comfortable as an outsider and misfit
I haven't but I think I'll start now!
People's words and actions are scary enough as it is. Being alone is better than dealing with other people's hatred
I feel like I've needed this channel my whole life. It has a fantastically poignant method. I wish they would play these in public school.
I am alone but i am not lonely. I have my piano, my cat, my books, i can see the whole cosmos through my telescope and even without all of this i can sit with my eyes closed and meditate for hours... I am alone but not lonely.. :)
Haha nooo! I kicked that off a year ago! But it was ending in hub :D
That's because you keep yourself distracted. with your piano, your cat and your books. Let go of them for a day. Spend the entire day by yourself with yourself and you will understand that the difference between being alone and being lonely is distraction or lack thereof
I don't keep myself distracted, I'm not a prisoner, i like it, i am ok even when i don't have these things because i have found my centre. I wont try to make you understand because you wont, and its normal, i just washed the video one more time.. have a nice afternoon . . :)
Petros Kefallinos 6dvv
"That's because you keep yourself distracted. with your piano, your cat and your books. Let go of them for a day"
You keep yourself distracted, with others. Let them go of you for a day. It's the same concept, we just adapt to our own conception.
I've always been alone.
I have secrets I cannot share.
Only one person knew but they died, they were also a terrible human being, but we had so much in common I put up with it.
I want friends, but I grow to hate people's company over time.
I know it is hard, but try to meet some people. There are good people in this world belive me you are just not open to them. Loneliness will pass... When you will meet them. Stay strong and try to be happy 🙏🏻💜
@@unknownsleepyhead1999 but i like being a loner and if everyone in the world was a loner there would be no such thing as war,fights,depression,bullying,betrayal etc
@@V_For_Vigilante yeah but being alone and being lonly are two diffrent things. And I don't really think war was because of that
Ikr
Ahhh i have some dark secrets too that nobody knows
I don't have friends neither a girlfriend.. but thanks jesus I have a great family especially my mother she is my bestfriend and this is the greatest blessing ever .
That blesses her. God bless you.
@Roy R mind your language kid
Roy R that's rude and stupid!
Thank you for sharing that inspiring message. Bless you!
You're welcome!
I'm an introvert, and being around other people actually makes me exhausted. I prefer to be by myself with hints of hanging out with other people!!!
Best thing about these videos asides from the videos themselves is the comment thread. I never see this kind of insightful high-brow discussion anywhere else on youtube. Feels like a parallel universe. Even when the commentators get angry, they're still intelligent. *School* Of Life getting yet another one up on us. brrrap.
This might be the greatest consolation I've ever received. Thank you for your great words.
'Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay - for holding onto a sincere and ambitious view of what companionship must and could be.'
I wanted to comment just that very last sentence, and I see that you have already done it. Thanks to the uploader and thanks to you. Cheers.
I've come to acceptance of the fact that I'll be lonely for eternity therefore I don't need to put forced smile or impressing people anymore.
People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. And to top it off, lots of people refuse to look inside themselves and figure out who they really are. I'm glad I married my best friend. I may still feel lonely sometimes, but at least we have each other, for now.
And thank goodness for loneliness! The bit about art alone makes it worth it...I can't even imagine a world without art. But omg, the last bit, about being lonely rather than having false community...that I totally get. I thought I had found my tribe, until I realized when we spent time together they were more interested in their phones and Facebook than me. I'd rather feel lonely alone than be surrounded by people and feel lonely.
Reminds me of the Hemingway quote: "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." Thank you for this one. Speaks to me and I'm sure many very deeply.
Gregor Collins I feel like this video is just me!
Intelligent people would know that they can control their emotions. Why wouldn't they choose happiness even with all they know of the world? It's simple.
Veggie Brain you cant choose happiness, happiness is a feeling, you cant force a feeling
At this point, I'm not longer depressed from learning about these things. Instead, I'm seeing suicide more and more as a practical end to it. Not as a solution or an escape, but as an admission that life is pointlessly cruel in such a myriad of petty ways. I just wish I had the courage to go through with it.
proudnoob124 that sounded hauntingly beautiful, I hope your life becomes more bearable, maybe you should start writing more.
Ben M My life is not unbearable. Hell, I'm not even suffering. My point is that despite its relative ok-ness, my life is still pointless, and so is everyone else's regardless of additional circumstances.
Gegia 96 In other words, death is the outcome anyways, so might as well do other stuff while we wait? Yeah, I guess there's nothing better to do.
♥ WUBA LUBA DUB DUB ♥!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
check out Rick and Morty, season 2 episode 3 it's called Auto Erotic Assimilation
Unity is a kind of Borg hivemind that wants to become God, nothing wrong with that
They talk about loneliness as something to “endure”, for some of us being alone is a delight! When I’m in a group of people trying to interact with them I feel exhausted it drains me, it literally feels as if I’m diluting as if I’m being washed away it’s an unsettling feeling, in any event I make a real effort to socialize because family is important to me and they’re diehard extroverts, it’s a thing I have to “endure” because I love them.
lucky you
the school of life = best channel ever
I love you.
centipede
This video is good, they do have some videos they get entirely wrong though
Yeah!!!
Its truly sad how many people are either unaware of or ignore the cross century understanding we can find from books, and art. I wouldn't be surprised if feelings of loneliness as a collective people has risen significantly with our current age.
We're born alone and die alone.
555sarin You can see lots ppl dont understand the logic here which i agree with you. Why detest of being alone? human is already alone from the start to the end!
It's no one fault. It's within human nature to be sociable to some extend, and certainly you have to rely on other for help and support from time to time. But beside those time you will be alone again. Wife, kids, parents they will all gone, not nessecary die, one day eventually.
To accept fate of loneliness one must accept that nothing will last and all these man-made relationship can easily be destroy like paper.
"Die surrounded by family? Nah, only you that die and you will go alone, other are just there to comfort you."
Of course, in daily life even I don't think like this, it just bigger picture.
no, not everyone is born alone.some are born with brothers or sisters.not everyone dies alone.some dies of a heart attack in the middle of a party.
How can you disprove or dispute that? Is it disputable/disprovable/falsifiable?
555sarin I was conceived, developed and born alongside my fraternal twin brother, lol.
Priceless! Surprised that this was made 6 years ago and still so relevant . Thank you to whoever made this video
There is nothing wrong with the fact, that no one completely understands anyone. And why we should be finding someone that share the same views and feelings with us. When you communicate with a person that have a different perception of the world or different values you can take something for yourself or share some your views and maybe change or extend some views of the person you're communicating with. Furthermore, this is how you develop your own UNIQUE personality, by constantly interacting with other people, you're not born with your current personality, it was developed with help of society, we like 'build' each other and it's okay to be different, 'cause when two identical things interact with each other nothing happens.
This is something I've been trying to explain to people for a long time but never truly knew how. You nailed it. It saddens me how very few people are able to enjoy loneliness just because they have backwards mentality about it. It's just self destructive. :c
this made me feel that loneliness is just another state of being... and my fear of it is just influenced by societies dictations.
Human beings belong to the social species. We need other people in order to be healthy. More so, we need to have a connection and bond with someone else. Taking care of each other and working in a team has let us survive and evolve. When a member of the group was abondened, it was a death sentence. The pain of loneliness is a deep wired signal of our genes to help us survive and procreate. We don't live in small tribes anymore and have spread into big societies. This makes it more difficult to find a place of belonging. So yea, it is indeed influenced by societies' dictations (I'd rather consider them 'rules' or 'values'), but also the ability (fear) to survive as part of a social species.
Spin around (like a whirling dervish) clockwise(yang northern hemisphere/yin southern hemisphere) or counterclockwise (yin northern hemisphere/yang southern hemisphere) (torus spinning). Chant any of these mantras 3 times each while facing east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northernhemisphere): "ieouah", "um"(like "from"), "aum" and "om". Sleep with your head placed east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northern hemisphere). Stare into the flower of life before sleep. Perform the 5 Tibetan rites. Play music at 440hz, 528hz, 432hz, and 396hz.
Never more lonely than when I’m in a crowd.
This is the beautiful truth. Isolation creates a need for expression. My life is totally carried by the need I have for expression. It's what drives me, how I make decisions. I absolutely think depth and complexity has something to do with the extend of isolation in a person's life. The backside to the story is however, that isolation can become so crippling, that one loses one's character.
Frederik Rokamp Pedersen ever since I became a certain age, sometime when I was a child. I was reclusive. my entire life seems to have been centered around my thoughts and my room. This added to my social anxiety, and of course, it's bad to be on my ass. But the knowledge you can gain when alone, with the exception egotistical bullshit that may be swishing around, is amazing.
Same here. Been lonely for quite some time now. I've always been a socially anxious ad introverted person but loneliness exacerbated it. I've tried to read during this time, spent hundreds of hours on internet trying to amuse myself and also learnt about my own self as I introspected a lot. But I still long human company nothing can take its place, I really miss my friends who have moved to other countries. I've felt depressed at times. I thought I would learn to live like this but loneliness made me realize what I truly wanted: a friend. Yes, loneliness is better than bad company but It's not good to romanticize it as this video does. The need to connect on a deeper level sometimes ignores the small moments of joy that we can have with most of the people around us.
Well said ! Even if loneliness makes you a wizard of knowledge and arts , you are still lonely ! We as humans are social and must connect with people.
Indeed it is. Being alone can be a very valuable thing. I know it is for me. But especially as I've grown older, I've learned to value being with others more and more. I'll always value being alone, but I think it's also worth talking about the many different perspectives and feelings of temporary connectivity we get from being with other people. Conversations can be food for thought, and can simmer for days, months and even years. You grow as a person from many things. Being alone and being with others are among those. Humans are social creatures though, and being alone for too long isn't healthy for most people.
In my expierence most of introverted people a very sensible , reflective and intelligent. And extroverted... well... not that much. Thats like a scale. However the real big challenge now is to be booth, intelligent and open-minded at the same time...
If you are really lonely, get a dog - They are amazing, they can be a pain too, but always be kind and you have a real friend for life! They make you get up and go out into the fresh air, and they are always happy to see you!
Even a pet rat can friend a cat
get a ant then
Too many dogs.. And I love dogs.. But that's not the answer..
This is great and all... or l could it be that you have been just hypnotized by a telepathic dog pushing its own agenda?....
@@foreverzeta6578 whether you get a dog or not, the dog will still be born
I live alone and I love it, less people less problems!
Matthew Harris have you ever been in a relationship? You can't deny the happiness you feel when being with the one you truly love
comedyman112 Nothing feels as good as loving yourself enough to sit alone with yourself. Not even the love of my spouse feels as good as that. Hell, not even the love my kids have for me feels as good as loving myself...probably because I didn't do it for so long.
risainternet pretty interesting concept with which many will probably not agree...but nevertheless worth exploring
Matthew Harris ..hi..so do I. .and in total isolation..small holiday coastal village at coast ..only 2 months a year people..I am only resident in 4 blocks..3 dogs..2 parrots and myself..have 1 friend up coast...see her twice a month for a visit....24/7 by myself....and! bloody great!!!..utter quiet and peace..sound of waves and smell of ocean...bliss...
This is brilliant and true …..and I am speaking from experience. One of the best things we can do is to learn to live with ourselves . If we do this we can then look for a partner but also know that if we don’t find the right one -we have built up huge resources in ourself. Far better to live alone and have friends than to be with the wrong person.
This explains why I seem to share more incommon with content creators on the internet or in books than people I am around.
i love this channel it makes me feel less awkward and less lonely or comfortably lonely i should say
Feriel bishop, what if you didn't have to feel that way at all? Putting your faith in mankind isn't where its at. Much more to life than fallible human relationships.
this is what I needed and I feel less lonely because of that video. I search for dark truths when I feel unsure or unsafe or out of the world even . this helped to understand me better so I feel like this is art what you are doing in this channel. and I want to consume more of this channel. I got goosebumps watching this
I get that feeling quite often when I watch these videos. The School of Life is quickly becoming my favorite channel. If you like these videos, you should really consider reading through the Book of Life. A lot of these videos are based off parts of it. They've left a link in the description.
Blueman1027 yes I've heard about it but I've never actually considered buying it. I live in Turkey so I don't know if they ship it here. I will check it out though, thank you
I used to find comfort in loneliness but now I have someone I can share my inner most thoughts with and I've never had so much confidence and appreciation for life
Every one needs a person in their life who understands them and can give them constructive feedback
I never feel lonely. I actually feel like I miss myself after I spend enough time with people. I can only enjoy relationships if I
limit how much we see eachother to once a week. Not sure if this is bad, but I tend to dissapoint friends and loved onces for not being available enough.
You're just introverted. That is ok.
Joe M I'm pretty much like you. I feel like the closer I get to people, the further the relationship gets. So I tend to stay away from people.
Mehdz03 Well I can handle relationships. But after a few months I find myself battling to keep a good amount of time and space to myself.
+Joe M I'm an introvert as well. What I have found, is that I actually start getting repulsive when I feel someone is getting too close to me, even though I would love to be able to share a more intimate relationship. I think it is a fear, deep down, of disappointing the potential partner, so I won't make that a possibility in the first place.
Joe M me too I need my privacy and don't like having someone around 24/7
This is by far in my opinion, one of the most enlightening videos on this channel. I used to think being alone and sometimes still do in times of unwanted isolation that I am doomed to fall into a spiral of depression and die of impoverishment. But some of these values the video has told me has shined through for me in some situations. For example, a few years back into my childhood I used to be an outcast and failed miserably (to hold onto someone) to the point I stopped trying so hard to rely on others to make me solely happy. As the years fell into a sinkhole of pure solitude I began to ponder and observe more with myself and my surroundings. I reached out for philosophy and advice such as this channel to learn and deepen my understanding of social intimacy and how to better find the people who could embrace me altogether whole, without hesitation, to build a wholesome life with. I dedicated myself as an ambassador of self-betterment. I went to the gym, learned some songs to sing and play to, put in a long-term commitment to learn a language, indulged in aspirations for E-sports and worked harder for my place in university. Although the work part of self-betterment had put me in a trance, I could see more and more further into the horizons as I float aimlessly in empty space. To search better for the "ones" I long for, you may one day find someone else float towards you. Ever so slowly you'll fall together, back down into the earthly atmosphere, on a meadow of joy, laughter and warmth in due comfort.
So whenever you find yourself lost and feel like screaming in the soundless vacuum of space. Take the time recognize yourself and reflect on yourself. In due time , another opportunity shall present itself and you will be more prepared by the end of it to find your place of "belonging". I still search for that meadow I could call home with the right company. But for now I will continue to better myself, to shine as bright as a star so anyone alone can start floating towards me, no matter how far.
my loneliness comes from lack of romantic relationships ... if you can guess I've had crushes but it doesn't lead to anything.
me too
Sending solidarity to all the lonely souls here.
this is seriously deep . i'm seriously shoked how deep it is
This video was recommended to me and it came at such a perfect time! I am a songwriter so knowing that my words can connect with people and we'll connect on that level makes me feel so much better about my loneliness :)
A philosopher is more afraid of being understood than being misunderstood. Maybe we needlessly complicate our existence because of the possibility that humans are simple creatures and what is simple is unimportant, thus our need to feel important makes us go around finding new weird and interesting things to say about ourselves.
Think hard and you will find a lot of close people kind of blurring the issue of their own identity, they have complicated lives, they have weird hobbies, they are "different", they don´t want to talk about certain important subjects, all these things they say about themselves to run away from the prospect of simplicity and understanding, because if you are understood then you are simple, and if you are simple then you are unimportant and not worth investing more time into, so you delude yourself into thinking you are messed up in an interesting way and you work your life around strengthening that weirdness. And at some point people lose interest in your identity, and then you lose interest in that identity, and you find yourself in the middle of an identity crisis. Funny thing is the more simple your answers to the problems in life, the more sincere you are to yourself and others, at least that´s what I find myself thinking at the moment :)
Costan Catalin-Rares Beautifully described!
What constitutes as a weird hobby?
Thanks. Always refreshing to find brilliant thinking like this on TH-cam. (and by brilliant thinking I'm referring to your comment, in addition to the video)
No. Life is definitely more complicated than less. You can make it simple by ignoring all the details--but that's all it is: ignorance. And ignorance is bliss.
lum0s I agree with that
Lonely we enter a long and grand tradition, we find ourselves in surprisingly in great company.
Enduring loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding onto a sincere, ambitious view of what companionship must and could be.
My eyes spilt their blood upon utterance of your beautiful words.
I'm not lonely cause.....
I have voices in my head !
True..
😳
The demons will never turn down a good conversation
When i wake up in an empty
dumpster i hear the echos of maga trumpsters
I wish they didn’t want me dead XD