How to Get Out of a Despairing Mood

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1K

  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv  4 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    How do you cope with despair? Let us know in the comments below and if you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: th-cam.com/channels/7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog.htmljoin

    • @kopihitam7256
      @kopihitam7256 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Give the Indonesian subtitle please

    • @VulcanGray
      @VulcanGray 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Title typo?

    • @realitycheck4746
      @realitycheck4746 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We all live with despair, some are just more conscious about it than other people. Personally, I stopped pretending to be happy. I cope by always preparing for the worst outcome. Despair is inevitable.

    • @amandawilcox9638
      @amandawilcox9638 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The school of life- Oh, my. I just had my second huge morning laugh. No copy editor? The vid title? "Desparing"? Too silly. But thank you, thank you!🙌🙌😖😀

    • @etherean369
      @etherean369 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just wanna say I love this channel

  • @VerenaSatriani
    @VerenaSatriani 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2186

    You are not your mood, you are not your feeling.. let them come and let them go. You are precious being.

    • @aldenrobelldeloyola1502
      @aldenrobelldeloyola1502 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Thank you for this comment.

    • @m.meursault5205
      @m.meursault5205 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Very wise - why treat moods differently than thoughts during meditation? Allow them to come, become aware from them, learn why you feel this way, and let it pass. Work on the root to avoid it happening in this intensity again. Grow.

    • @realbenmagp7
      @realbenmagp7 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      thanks

    • @toniok.4726
      @toniok.4726 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      wow

    • @wcm4346
      @wcm4346 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Garbage virtue signaling comment.

  • @crys313
    @crys313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +396

    The one thing missing from this great work is that despair is often coupled with fatigue. When you are constantly having to adapt, you can literally feel worn down by life.

    • @Liz-in8lu
      @Liz-in8lu ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Holy cow! Amazing. Fatigue. I feel so drained by accommodating everyone else, because that’s how the world is now.

    • @aleledesma4088
      @aleledesma4088 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      That's exactly what I have been feeling!!

    • @KarAashika
      @KarAashika 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      And sometimes that leads you to not having funds and you have to make realistic decisions, you can't just dream everything is possible

    • @louloumusicofficial
      @louloumusicofficial 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      so so true

    • @quickgirl80
      @quickgirl80 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes, the fatigue feels inescapable.

  • @stories-of-elle
    @stories-of-elle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1853

    This vid was literally made for me right at this moment

  • @SyySkitz
    @SyySkitz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +496

    I was literally going through a stagnant state in life and this gave me the assurance of abundance. That there's a universe of potential and opportunity that I can still explore.

    • @akshar_dave
      @akshar_dave 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      🍀

    • @iv1908
      @iv1908 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same. 😊

    • @campkira
      @campkira 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wait it out.. it will go away.. it the what is the problem that causing it on first plac.e. sometine it don't go awwy.. only way is to get out of the problem..

    • @AnnabellaRedwood
      @AnnabellaRedwood 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just wanted to send love and hugs your way xx 💜🧡💙

  • @yamaken4256
    @yamaken4256 4 ปีที่แล้ว +194

    Reading the comments made me realize that im not alone in feeling this way

    • @justinebourke9449
      @justinebourke9449 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We are many but we are separate and we are lonely

  • @kkaatiee
    @kkaatiee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +423

    Gotta love School of Life “you could even go mad for a little while if you like”

    • @thebeesknees2762
      @thebeesknees2762 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Yes! I thought “hey, that’s me” haha or at least it has been a couple of times

    • @beckyholston
      @beckyholston 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I'm currently going mad, and that comment made me feel so much better about this. I'm not alone.

    • @LLGC510
      @LLGC510 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      “a lot of people do” 😳😩😭🤣

    • @janjansen7983
      @janjansen7983 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Afraid of going mad drives me crazy and makes it even worse. Man this sucks.

    • @angrumbagrum
      @angrumbagrum 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@LLGC510 felt sooo relieved hearing that

  • @dereksilvers9177
    @dereksilvers9177 4 ปีที่แล้ว +473

    THE SCHOOL OF LIFE IS A LEGENDARY CHANNEL!

    • @monicology
      @monicology 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      A LEGENDARY VIDEO DURING A LEGENDARY TIME!!!!! (i needed this video lol)

    • @HappinessOrDeath
      @HappinessOrDeath 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This channel and Alain De Boton are on a whole different level ❤️❤️

    • @vicstee482
      @vicstee482 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It is. It really is. But i find i listen and think its amazing, but lack the will to put it into practice 😥

    • @sumitthakur1625
      @sumitthakur1625 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Indeed

    • @igurospit
      @igurospit 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I couldn’t agree more

  • @WisdomWealth77
    @WisdomWealth77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +582

    Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place. 💞

    • @keaton-immanuelbrown1469
      @keaton-immanuelbrown1469 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      🙏🏻

    • @DiegoPereyra
      @DiegoPereyra 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That really touched something...
      Trying to figure things out from that perspective now,
      its a nice view from there,
      there's air over there and is possible to breath.
      Thanks Immanuel...
      Smile...!

    • @LemonRush7777
      @LemonRush7777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That's great! Not really true, but at least it sounds good.

    • @consoleem5043
      @consoleem5043 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      💞
      Correction - they are always falling into place🤗

    • @consoleem5043
      @consoleem5043 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @Dylan Rogers through the life I've lived I've faced many things falling apart, and I've also fallen apart, many times.. as I kept looking for answers, what I found is that all roads leads back to me, my inner being, my connection to this world and everything in it...The atrocities I witnessed were consequences of lack of understanding yet it is what led me to find truth...So could my path been rosier - yes, could it have been easier- yes, but that's not the life I was given, it's not the way my life unfolded, and here I am stronger and happier than ever so at the end of the day does it matter how much things fall apart when they can lead us to a way forward? Sometimes things can't move forward without something falling apart.

  • @enkhnyambattulga9351
    @enkhnyambattulga9351 4 ปีที่แล้ว +272

    I live in Mongolia and I'm now 17. This channel has been like a good brother that I always needed in difficult and uncertain times. Your advices have really helped me be more confident. I started volunteering, my relationship with my family got better, started learning a new language, learned to code, picked up a sport, and my grades were never better. You have taught me to always keep on trying without taking my little life too seriously. I try to enjoy things. I plan on studying in Europe. And I hope to one day meet you in person and just thank you. Just letting you know that your outreach is global even in our small country. :)

    • @TheRoadtoFinalLight
      @TheRoadtoFinalLight 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Indeed. This Channel is worth 1K in therapy.

    • @taestan6864
      @taestan6864 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This is so sweet ❤️

    • @feedsquirrels
      @feedsquirrels ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Hi Enochnayam,I just read your post now I know it’s from a few years ago but I just want to say it sounds like you have your life headed in the right direction. Best of luck to you!

    • @nafania11
      @nafania11 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're having a great start having improved your life already at 17! kudos!

    • @anushkumar9848
      @anushkumar9848 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I relate to you so well this channel is the only good thing I ve came across to

  • @theflip650
    @theflip650 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    Man, I just got in a big fight with my boss yesterday, lost my job and was so mad/anxious. I don’t know how y’all read my mind but this helped. ✌️

  • @MsTuliplady
    @MsTuliplady 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    1:35 "we can even go mad for a while, and then recover... A lot of people do"
    Some of the most important words ever said. Most of the people I know, including myself... Have gone mad. Only time is able to sort that out, but it's such a valid state of mind, one easily dismissed and ridiculed, but oftentimes so insightful, and life changing. Oftentimes for the better. Just another chapter...

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 4 ปีที่แล้ว +455

    As Heisenberg once noticed: "the process of observing influences the system". When we truly start _observing_ what our bad moods consist of, we weaken them. That's one of the basic mechanisms behind meditation!

    • @koffz-nl2118
      @koffz-nl2118 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      This is one of the things( the main thing actually) I've learned from using the Headspace app. A great concept, but remembering to apply it constantly in your daily life is quite a challenge(as have other things I've learned from the app). Wish it wasn't, because the periods where I did look at my moods and emotions from a distance and studied them, I began flourishing pretty fast.
      Do you have the same problem?

    • @TJ_Travels1
      @TJ_Travels1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Not gonna lie I thought of Walter White straight away

    • @bearded_riffs
      @bearded_riffs 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes totally agree

    • @palaksharma1777
      @palaksharma1777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Walter White said that? /s

    • @TheDhammaHub
      @TheDhammaHub 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@palaksharma1777 Close enough ;D

  • @samtonks3300
    @samtonks3300 4 ปีที่แล้ว +257

    Strange timing, I was literally cornered into a hopeless cycle of anger about 15 minutes ago. I’m now feeling cured

    • @ayatmuhammad3466
      @ayatmuhammad3466 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      SAME!!!

    • @randomdude9135
      @randomdude9135 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Open Twitter to become hope less again

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's so excellent, Sam. I hope you keep on enjoying life. You may have some things to legitimately feel angry about and hopefully can find the chance to fix some of them if that is what is needed. Meanwhile there are other aspects of life and you can focus other emotions on those aspects e.g. hope, gratitude, interest, curiosity etc.

    • @Mefista69
      @Mefista69 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same...

  • @ash.mystic
    @ash.mystic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I appreciate that this video is less than 5 minutes long. It’s difficult to focus and put in effort on large tasks when feeling depressed. Thanks for this inspiration 🙏

  • @amitsao009
    @amitsao009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I saw the title and felt happy.. saw the video and felt despair again.

  • @BeckyTheButterfly
    @BeckyTheButterfly 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Mind boggling how these videos come out just at the right time.
    Literally had to have a therapy session just YESTERDAY to talk about this very thing going on. Life is currently a blank page for me, starting over once again.
    Currently sitting in bed, having a difficult time imagining the good things and places that are yet to come from me being here.

  • @queso5367
    @queso5367 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    Hey, you with the despair -
    Noone has it all figured out. Keep trying new things. Keep getting back up. There's no time limit on success if you're still breathing. Keep on looking for ways to create the life that's right for you. May you find the life you seek & work passionately every day to deserve that joy of fulfillment.
    -Also me, to me

    • @emerywolf9568
      @emerywolf9568 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you homie 🙏

    • @emmajean2386
      @emmajean2386 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks Rachael. This made me cry.. thank you for your comment🌷😭❤️🥺

    • @queso5367
      @queso5367 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@emmajean2386 Much love to you, Emma. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now, things get better. *hugs tightly*

  • @PracticalInspiration
    @PracticalInspiration 4 ปีที่แล้ว +251

    As adults we have the freedom to choose the life we lead, but equally need to bear the responsibility of the choices that we make

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Gerd Wiesler Reality is nobody has choice, in the USA especially, you are a slave. None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who believe they are free. They've convinced slaves they are free, simply so the slaves won't revolt knowing they truly aren't. It's a major hassle to leave the USA, and become established in another country, you have the USA government to thank for this. Even renouncing your citizenship costs over $2,300 as of recent years, to deter people from doing it. If you being unable to choose the job you seek right now is your biggest concern you have little concerns. Be grateful you graduated, and have a degree, some people can't ever afford this in the USA. Some people are upset they have no shoes, until they meet someone who has no feet. I for one could never afford to finish my bachelor's degree, and only have an associate's. I am a USA citizen by being born here, and living here without choice. I don't have any of the constitutional rights you take for granted everyday, despite I am the same as you for all intensive purposes in USA. Always be grateful for what little you have, not for what you don't. Humble yourself, and especially considering the true horrors of the USA. Know that it could always be worse, no matter how precarious your current situation. The journey of 1000 miles begins with just one step. As you should stride to have no fixed plans, and not be intent on arriving anywhere. For the Journey makes the destination, and not the other way around. Keep in mind everything in existence is constantly in a state of flux, ever changing. For that is the way of the universe itself, everything changes, what was one second, can be gone in the next one.

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Gerd Wiesler You CAN choose, but you can't decide over when and how it happens. If you try long enough your chances are pretty high however. Opportunities drop in our lap all the time yet we fixate on what we don't have. You are alive, you are healthy.. you are young. That is a good combination, take the time to learn new things.
      Don't fall into nihilistic thoughts, remind yourself of what you gain from it.

    • @PHARANORMALACTIVITY
      @PHARANORMALACTIVITY 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l Amazing Comment.

    • @somethinggood-sy1ed
      @somethinggood-sy1ed 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Choice can be highly restricted by circumstances

  • @-ahmed121
    @-ahmed121 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I am 16 years old and I cannot imagine my life without the school of life. Thank you very much. You helped me build my character more than anyone else in this small planet thank you alain de botton

  • @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx
    @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I plan to listen to this video three times a day until I turn things around. Thank you!

  • @valeria-militiamessalina5672
    @valeria-militiamessalina5672 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    “narrow circumstances” felt a shiver down my spine hearing this

  • @meowmaple
    @meowmaple 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I come back to this video every once in a while whenever I feel that it can't ever get better

  • @dominiquepereira8211
    @dominiquepereira8211 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    "What would I do differently in my life?" I think I'd probably be a whole lot kinder to those who really loved me. And let go, a whole lot sooner, those who didn't. :(

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      The problem is always in recognizing who is which... Everyone has a burden, are you able to judge? Going to quote Gandalf here..
      "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement."

  • @5even5eals
    @5even5eals 4 ปีที่แล้ว +240

    The fact that I don't really have to suffer makes me feel ashamed for me suffering anyway

    • @erickaperez6703
      @erickaperez6703 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Relatable!

    • @LadyLazarus1027
      @LadyLazarus1027 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      yes! sometimes while i'm crying I get even sadder because I feel like it's all in vain

    • @skimmilkm
      @skimmilkm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Despairing moods are so awful because of that reason for some of us: it tries so hard to justify its own existence so that it can continue to live, like the mood is afraid of dieing.

    • @marcrow9114
      @marcrow9114 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@skimmilkm damn

    • @tysonq7131
      @tysonq7131 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      These thoughts helps me snap myself out of this cycle most of the time: The world owes you nothing and you owe it nothing. Try to reduce suffering anywhere you can but do not stack your suffering against others as if you get points for it. Your peace does not come at the expense of others. (I'm assuming, unless you're like stealing things from people or something). Suffering wears you down emotionally and in turn physically, so the most selfless thing you can do is try to suffer less so you may take care of those around you when they need it. Also, grieving is a necessary biological function for your body to reset back to happiness. It sounds like you get stuck in suffering because you believe you don't deserve the right simply to be sad, and instead of pushing through to the other side and getting relief (usually crying) you get stuck in suffering telling yourself you shouldn't have gotten there in the first place.

  • @bengieofftheleash9217
    @bengieofftheleash9217 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I’ve been off my antidepressants for over a week now (not by choice) so you have no idea how much I need this.

  • @TanvirAhmed24
    @TanvirAhmed24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Sometimes life passes us by so fast that it feels as though we are sitting in a train with our life sliding by like the scenery outside the window. With our busy schedules we tend to rush from obligation to obligation. Some days, we enter our office while it is dark in the morning, and don’t leave until it is dark outside again at night. We can start to feel like we are in a rut, and our life is being determined by others. We feel like we have no choice but to oblige the guidelines others set for us.

    • @matthewpasia3636
      @matthewpasia3636 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Wow thanks for this. you’ve captured perfectly what I’ve been feeling at work recently. Jumping from meeting to meeting, i cant help but ask myself at the end of the day - is my time really mine?

    • @TanvirAhmed24
      @TanvirAhmed24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@matthewpasia3636 Yeah, I hear you.

    • @circleofclouds
      @circleofclouds 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes and we have tried so hard to even get into this place in the office, which makes this mental suffering...self-induced? Societal pressures? I wonder.

    • @wabi_sabi_love
      @wabi_sabi_love 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      People who let others to decide how their life will be are giving themselves permission to waste their life. They will regret it when they are already old or sick but it will be too late to change anything. Sadly, too many people live like that.

    • @TanvirAhmed24
      @TanvirAhmed24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@wabi_sabi_love I feel the same way.

  • @elspethfougere9683
    @elspethfougere9683 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So grateful for this. Life has unexpected tradgedys, which I didn't understand until I got older. If your first in line amongst your friends to have something happen, it's hard to know how to approach it. I've always been creative, and this a great kick starter to give me confidence to keep seeking until inspiration strikes luck

  • @sunnysrivastava7575
    @sunnysrivastava7575 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This video itself has so much positive push which we always crave from a friend.
    It fills the gap of someone who can remind you of what you can still really do.

  • @thescoobymike
    @thescoobymike 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    When we're in despair we also imagine our whole lives as feeling like despair and forgetting all our times of happiness because in that moment we are trapped in that despair

  • @losasakarosa9050
    @losasakarosa9050 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m 18 currently doing my a levels and have no idea what I’m doing with my life, everyone seems to have their shit together and I just feel absolutely inadequate that I don’t know what course to apply for, am not passionate about anything particular and I’m not particularly talented at anything. :( I love this channel because it genuinely shows me I’m not alone and really helps me dissect elements of my thought process and eliminate negative thinking.

  • @alinemachado3
    @alinemachado3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I needed to listen to this so very much that you have no idea how grateful I am right now. 🌼

  • @mazcot
    @mazcot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Every time I watch a video on this channel it gives me a new perspective and makes me feel normal. I can't thank you enough

  • @Cappaluke
    @Cappaluke 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I was feeling despair today actually pretty terribly. I somehow came across a book at my work and read the first few pages about forming and breaking habits. I read only 3 pages and it was enough to get me motivated to break at least one small habit that has been dragging me down for months. And that is continuing the cycle of keeping an ex partner in my head. She’s living in there rent free as they say! The online stalking has continued to keep associations of her in my mind. I have to break these associations and stop downplaying the effects the online creeping actually has on my mental health. Out of sight of mind. It was an enlightening 3 pages to me, it snapped me back into reality and i found it ironic that it was the only book I picked up. More than that, this video was powerfully uplifting as well. Imagination is important for moving forward. I’m extremely grateful for the positivity I have encountered on this day I felt a cloud was hanging over my head. Thank you!

  • @ilag3686
    @ilag3686 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    You’ve presented two incredible writing/journaling prompts:
    •“If I lost everything and had to start up again, I might...”
    •List 20 things that make your life meaningful, then cross them all out and find 10 more
    Enormously useful to have that insight/preparation for yourself- thank you for this splendiferous channel!!

  • @rachamgh189
    @rachamgh189 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Omg this is exactly what I needed for while

  • @katariina7697
    @katariina7697 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This soothes my weary soul, thank you very much.

  • @peipeixi
    @peipeixi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Sometimes it’s the power of our imagination and sometimes it’s the reality and gravity of the situation. For people with mental health disorders, it’s not just a mood or a one-time phase. It’s a recurrent phenomenon. It’s a vicious cycle.

    • @JH-id4te
      @JH-id4te 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm trying to use my power of imagination to forget my mum is dying and I'm totally alone... I just need to try harder apparently.

    • @natasha5553
      @natasha5553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@JH-id4te I am sorry you are going through that but remember the only way is through

    • @snowqueen24
      @snowqueen24 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's true.

  • @toniharrison1215
    @toniharrison1215 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm so thankful I found this channel. Words cannot effectively describe my gratitude.

  • @theoutsider7119
    @theoutsider7119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Most ideas located between the subconscious and the conscious mind are projected clearly in this channel. Becoming aware of details especially about ourselves is truly a virtue..

  • @ananya.a04
    @ananya.a04 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    School Of Life, you are truly a life changer. You make me question a lot of my opinions and thoughts that I previously believed were set in stone, and almost always they change for the better. Thank you for making these kinds of videos. 😊❤️🇮🇳

  • @bigh012345
    @bigh012345 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Hrm ... I am at a turning point in my life. Maybe I should take some time off and go mad for a little bit.
    Thanks Alain!

  • @redahammada8605
    @redahammada8605 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This video just came out in the right time during such stressful moments

  • @j-bonkers1887
    @j-bonkers1887 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is exactly what I need in my life.
    Thank you for creating this wonderful content. Now I can see the the world and my life differently. That I shouldn’t think life is just one way; up or down. And that there is more to it and practically anything is possible as long as you have a good imagination to carry along this marvellous journey.

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble

  • @oimss2021
    @oimss2021 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Idk, this one doesn't work for me. It's precisely my power of imagination that despairs me. To compare my imaginary life, all my potentials realized, all the possible achievements, a happy life on one hand, on the other the sheer boredom of ordinary life, the meaninglessness of my routine, that's the real source of my mood. To think of all the wasted possibilities, all that could have been, all that could be still was it not for my lack of motivation.

    • @ltotheop7512
      @ltotheop7512 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Perhaps you could make your imagination work in your favour instead of turning it into a ruler with which to lash yourself. That in itself isn’t very imaginative. A bit boring even.

  • @onlyme7358
    @onlyme7358 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is needed when going cold turkey and living with a narcissist.
    Thanks for the inspiration.

  • @ASMRHatov
    @ASMRHatov 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    "The oceans are large and beautifully unconcerned with us"

  • @W-Sfire7000
    @W-Sfire7000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    One of the Best/most powerful Vids in SOL series, for me. I'm just wee bit less despairing now. Tkss🤗

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing

    • @0018lancelot
      @0018lancelot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Aint that the truth lol

    • @nelsonsama1
      @nelsonsama1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah, can someone explain what this means?

    • @eazytr101
      @eazytr101 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nelsonsama1 It means you can believe in hope and make your hopes come true and let go of the sadness (despair) that causes us to believe that nothing will or could ever get better or be better.

    • @mofomartianp
      @mofomartianp 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      hope is the hardest cope of them all.

  • @cammackenzie4467
    @cammackenzie4467 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is a truly incredible video. Less than 5 minutes and this legitimately changed my outlook on life

  • @aylastabile
    @aylastabile 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    love this...our imagination is for rewriting the stories of our lives! I'm having a hard time keeping up that open feeling of possibilities in the context of covid, in the face of isolation...you cant go out and see new things or meet people right now. But I try to have patience and I guess in this time of loneliness, the imagination just needs that much more strength.

  • @jamesryan82
    @jamesryan82 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love the way the School of Life never shies away from the fact that we are on a 'dung hill' but have the capacity within us to get past it. It is Marcus Aurelius for the person of today.

  • @oftenwrong.
    @oftenwrong. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I have horrible self esteem! And hate myself.
    That’s what holds me back

    • @reubenbokea5459
      @reubenbokea5459 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      This is how I boosted my self-esteem;
      1. Started hitting the Gym.
      2. Introduced myself to reading books. At least a chapter a day for the start.
      3. Joined a book club that compromised of beginers only. We could regularly meet and do book review alongside other conversations.
      4. Routine Walks in a quiet place like a forest. Without a phone or anything that will cause distraction. Focus on nature and it's beauty. Allow your thoughts to wander without suppressing them. Listen to them. Be aware of your environment and every feeling.
      5. I always groomed myself. Neatness boost's your confidence. Buy yourself the nice staffs. Treat yourself.
      6. Every day before leaving my house, I would make sure I look myself through the mirror, Smile and appreciate that I am smart.I always fall in love with the person I saw at the mirror.I befriended him.I have never regretted.
      7.Started attending parties and events. Eventually,I realized that no one is perfect.Everyone is struggling to fix his/her broken nature.
      This worked for me.I hope it helps you

    • @zedium3280
      @zedium3280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@reubenbokea5459 omg you're such a king thank you so much

    • @Summerfairy81
      @Summerfairy81 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Beautiful Reuben

    • @lakarra3hyababa51
      @lakarra3hyababa51 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@reubenbokea5459 My dude💪💪

    • @reubenbokea5459
      @reubenbokea5459 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you all.Low Self-esteem is not a physical disability. It can be boosted. We can experience life in its abundance.
      Of all the judgements we pass in Life, none is more important than the verdict we pass on ourselves.
      We can grow better. We can improve. We have the ability to. Just small steps every day. That's what compounds to great strides.

  • @sparkymularkey6970
    @sparkymularkey6970 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I've found myself coming back to this video again and again.

  • @m.o6801
    @m.o6801 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    This honestly came at the perfect time for me.. cause i’m not sure how long I can do 9-5 for 😭

    • @joaquinpipinich2042
      @joaquinpipinich2042 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How long have u been doing it?

    • @sarahtriscik3758
      @sarahtriscik3758 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same. I’m in my mid twenties and have worked a 9-5 since 17. I feel like I cant stand it for another day. Trying to figure out what I can do instead.

    • @m.o6801
      @m.o6801 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@joaquinpipinich2042 going on 7 years now :( I am definitely grateful I have a job but it’s scary feeling like there’s nothing more out there

    • @m.o6801
      @m.o6801 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Jedidiah Francisco yeah :(

    • @m.o6801
      @m.o6801 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sarahtriscik3758 honestly how I feel as well

  • @abhirambhat9277
    @abhirambhat9277 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I always felt there was a relation between my mood & my visualization ..
    But this perfectly fixed it ..

  • @TheSassi14
    @TheSassi14 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Honestly, this just made me more sad, because I can't travel right now and the oceans are not untouched by humans

  • @Cris-zx8df
    @Cris-zx8df 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you to TSoL!

  • @mrsszmanda07
    @mrsszmanda07 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    It’s like Alain knew what I was going through this week. Thanks TSoL ❤️

  • @ysabelmariacartago-garcia265
    @ysabelmariacartago-garcia265 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I pray that school of life continues to grow and flourish...thank you for everything ❤️

  • @Lifelearne
    @Lifelearne 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    I'm an adult and surrounded by narrow circumstances

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That could mean that you have to endure some boredom and perhaps meet only a few people. That does make life more difficult. I hope things open up for you.

    • @moneymanfernando1594
      @moneymanfernando1594 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe you need to make some changes. A new job , a new city or new friends.

  • @rubyjulivre1136
    @rubyjulivre1136 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The way i deal with sadness is accept the misfortunes, don't make excuses/justification --> give myself some time to grieve --> move on. It does helps me a lot.

  • @nicolalang5603
    @nicolalang5603 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    If I lost everything and had to start again... I might be relieved that there were no ties keeping me here and decide to end the suffering.

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Except you will not be allowed to end yourself, just as you lacked the choice in coming into existence in the first place. Society removes the choice from you, but the reality of this reasoning is much more twisted. They want you alive as a slave, nothing more nothing less, the more slaves the better for the time being at least. When human slave labor becomes obsolete they will just exterminate the majority of the unneeded populace. Casting off the delusion they feed people to distort the reality of why they refuse to let you choose death. If you had no choice in being born in the first place, its disheartening. Yet the bitter truth to everything is better than the sweetest of lies every-time.

    • @ravenraven966
      @ravenraven966 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l , yes. And we are getting very close to the extermination. Ai runs most of the world now. They don't need too many humans now. I'm counting on Jesus. I'm with you dear one. Hang in....

  • @sidharthaery1662
    @sidharthaery1662 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Despairing is spelled differently in the title and thumbnail nail and it is puting me in despair

    • @anaysayersyes
      @anaysayersyes 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes.

    • @lameooo21
      @lameooo21 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I don’t know if I can handle this

    • @FriendofDorothy
      @FriendofDorothy 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      if you're worried about a spelling error in a video try reading some of the comments, which are spelling and grammar disasters. I thought there was an app or online tool for that, but I guess these people don't care if their comment is barely coherent or a mind-twister to try to read....

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      English spelling and grammar is very strange. You may enjoy reading Kate Burridge's book "The Gift of the Gob" (NB: gob not gab) www.amazon.com.au/Gift-Gob-Morsels-English-Language-ebook/dp/B004KAB2CQ

    • @sidharthaery1662
      @sidharthaery1662 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tracesprite6078 no

  • @jessiechen7194
    @jessiechen7194 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am just experiencing the low mood stage of my life. I changed my working place half a year ago and I'm still not adapt to the current working place. I also have problems with my families and all the messages I get everyday are negative. I just don't know what to do and really want to go to some places where nobody knows me. Thanks to this video, it gives me some courage and feel that it's not that horrible to lose everything and then start again. I will be better some days after, I believe.

  • @austinricky
    @austinricky 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    When you’re in a rut , try new things and go to new places. I summed it up for you.

    • @MrNederland2
      @MrNederland2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Does this really help...

    • @austinricky
      @austinricky 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MrNederland2 actually the opposite in a covid society lol

  • @saurabhsingh1255
    @saurabhsingh1255 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you alain. Greeks had their philosophers, we in our time have you, to guide us, to lessen our pain, and to make our lives chilled out. you sitting in england have changed my life in india.

  • @herculesrockefeller8969
    @herculesrockefeller8969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "We could think how we might survive without any friends, without any reputation, without any love..."
    I don't have to think about it, I live it every day.

    • @1dayumay548
      @1dayumay548 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m sorry for you..

  • @Eliphosys
    @Eliphosys 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a fantastic dose of perspective! We can reclaim our personal power at any moment. Thank you for sharing.

  • @lo0k3r
    @lo0k3r 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    ”Many people might be cruel, but a few are infinitely compassionate and kind. And we can go out and FIND THEM, AND NOT LET THEM GO.” 😾

    • @teethompson7756
      @teethompson7756 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Although I agree with the statement, it makes something extremely difficult sound easy. Making friends, "real friends", is not easy, especially for introverts, and in the age of COVID-19 it is nearly impossible. 😔

    • @saratf
      @saratf 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      After 36 years I’ve only found 2.

    • @hederahelix4600
      @hederahelix4600 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Haven't found any yet. But if I did, they would probably be taken by someone who won't let them go.

    • @lo0k3r
      @lo0k3r 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@hederahelix4600 May be they will FIND YOU first.
      Prepare for that!

  • @boyfmbalcatta
    @boyfmbalcatta 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, this is something we all need to keep in the back pocket of life, close at hand to pull out read/watch at those times when life is challenging!

  • @AndroidCovenant
    @AndroidCovenant 4 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    University courses cost money. Everything for that matter costs money

    • @justnorthofnormal2113
      @justnorthofnormal2113 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      This is why we need to imagine socialism too

    • @AndroidCovenant
      @AndroidCovenant 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      ​@@justnorthofnormal2113 I think we're going to get a little bit of socialism soon. I think the pandemic has opened a lot of people's eyes. We need UBI, healthcare coverage and tuition free college

    • @mattjustice4618
      @mattjustice4618 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@justnorthofnormal2113 unfortunately the billionaires hoarding all the wealth and power are being propped up and protected by the government. So the middle class and the working class will the ones paying the most for any type of socialism

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@mattjustice4618 Simple abolish the government, and install a new system truly for the people by the people. The only obstruction in everyone's path, is the will to act as a unified majority. Which is what the elite rich fear the most, is the populace uniting for the common cause of self betterment. Waking up from an eternal slumber, and refusing to live a lie any longer. The moment this happens a revolution occurs overnight, as the truth of the horrors of the USA will emerge. Nowhere left to hide, they will be dragged into the light. Everyone benefits from this when you cooperate with others for the needs of all individuals, and the betterment of mankind as a whole. Everyone gains, and all needless suffering, or optional suffering that is self inflicted is removed. Which this affliction, is no different than the deliberate act of willfully causing cancer upon yourself, and then imposing this cancerous growth onto all in society. If people would just put aside their differences, and unite, everyone would have their needs met. The communal good would flourish, and all human constructs of self induced suffering would end. Ushering in an era like never before seen of progress, and enlightenment for all humanity. We are all humans, its time we all start treating each other as such regardless. All have the same capacity for potential growth, betterment, kindness, compassion etc. It's merely a choice you make, for the choices of the mind are the ones they can never force you to relinquish. So what do they do instead? Simple, and horrible they deceive you into believing they can take these, and that they have accomplished taking them in doing so. They CANNOT take anything that resides within your mind, and the powers that be can't stand this. As they seek absolute control just as a fool deals in absolutes. For a fool wishes to rule the world, where as a wise person wishes just for a chance to live in it.

    • @bruhcomeon.
      @bruhcomeon. 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l Jesus Christ, who are you ?

  • @randomguy19954
    @randomguy19954 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is the best ever SOL video. Use our imagination to improve our lives.

  • @oktaydes
    @oktaydes 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I sometimes think these videos are being made exclusively for me on spot on moments

  • @Valoelify
    @Valoelify 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This came at the PERFECT moment, thank you so much school of life.

  • @nitpicksa8353
    @nitpicksa8353 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you very much, this message is much needed for myself and many others 🌻🤘🏼💕

  • @Mindseas
    @Mindseas 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Loving the support and wealth of warmth self-understanding and appreciation on share here. And our power and ability to move on. To adapt and grow. Thank you!

  • @dereksilvers9177
    @dereksilvers9177 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for such realistic solutions to such common problems!!!!

  • @yoyoyo5621
    @yoyoyo5621 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    im grateful for thsi video. i was feeling lonely and depressed today and it put a smile in my face :) thank you

  • @memofromessex
    @memofromessex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    The worst advice is to start a new career. Who has the money to do that? I have a mortgage and bills to pay

    • @lopezmiaa
      @lopezmiaa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That's what I was thinking, I don't have the money for those things, it's not that easy I'm just so worried cause I have no job and a very and low chance of getting one

    • @JeffreyThrash
      @JeffreyThrash 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      That’s only feasible if the economy is in fantastic shape. That’s also like saying to a child who is sad about being unpopular and bullied at school: “Just move to a new school.”

    • @williamfischer5214
      @williamfischer5214 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      The advice wasn't to start a new career. I think the point is to imagine what it might be like to start a new career. Or to move to a Tibetan monastery, or become a circus juggler, or move back into your mom's basement, or learn to code, or start a cult (joking). The point isn't necessarily to do something different, but to experience the truth that your options aren't as limited as you think.

    • @wabi_sabi_love
      @wabi_sabi_love 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That’s a great advise to those in despair/stuck with the job they hate/lost their job. You can sit and cry that you don’t have any skills and resources to start a new profession and stay in a looser/victim state of mind. Or you can start creating a new life fir yourself and learn new profession. This video is showing how our attitude will help us destroy our life or rewrite it for a “happy end”.

    • @pn2205
      @pn2205 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      With due respect, i think you still don't know the importance of this channel , it saves people from suicides, a person on the verge of suicide needs an answer to keep living, its not about better life they are talking here...they are talking about how we can still live even when it feels perfect to die either in real sense or from inside.

  • @pepe5645
    @pepe5645 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Estaba en un estado de ánimo desesperado, abri YT. Mi canal favorito subió video y video de lo que más necesito en estos momentos. Gracias escuela de la vida.

  • @muneebkhan7465
    @muneebkhan7465 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The School of Life uploads coherent and meaningful videos without unnecessarily making things complex.Plus the narration is so smooth.Wish your channel Good luck 👍

  • @alienhats3312
    @alienhats3312 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "The more things change, the more they stay the same…"

  • @Blossom-ne4bk
    @Blossom-ne4bk 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel like the narrator should do a book reading with an audience. His voice is so calming and helpful.

  • @aarond9563
    @aarond9563 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I mean yes but this is all predicated on money and utter independence. We are flexible and can change whenever and for whatever when money is not an issue and people are not depending on that change "working".

    • @sdrawkcabUK
      @sdrawkcabUK 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      sadly all too true.... unless you're willing to live on the streets and eat from dumpsters, you choices will be constrained by needing to deal with the money system

    • @aarond9563
      @aarond9563 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sdrawkcabUK I mean to a certain extent right? Probably homelessness is not the main concern for many people, but yes it's a constraint nonetheless. And also not sure it's too "sad". It's reasonable. I mean if money wasn't in the equation no one would be motivated to actually achieve anything and have the ambition to be flexible. Constraints are necessary.

  • @ashwinidombale7158
    @ashwinidombale7158 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I wish I could have seen this the day it was posted.Since that day I have gone mad for 5months and wasted all my time being badly depressed and negative.This is what I needed.Had I seen it before,I would have not gone through so much pain

  • @giannetantiado9812
    @giannetantiado9812 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    watching this while on my nth breakdown today:

    • @riteshshukla5605
      @riteshshukla5605 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nth ?

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Please allow me to teach you some instant meditation. You focus on your breathing for 5 to 10 breaths. Then you focus on the area around the middle of your body for a little while. Then you listen for distant sounds. Repeat. Even if other thoughts keep going, as you repeat these 3 steps, you can feel goodness and calm moving into your life. www.amazon.com.au/Quiet-Paul-Wilson-ebook/dp/B003R509UG Paul Wilson has written lots of books about meditation. They're all good. The Calm App is also wonderful. www.calm.com/

  • @jamesryan82
    @jamesryan82 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    The oceans are large and greatly unconcerned with us. The literal thought of this is enough to make me calm

  • @lynnmonger5515
    @lynnmonger5515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I needed this today thank you.

  • @abhi-wi2mj
    @abhi-wi2mj 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    this channel is like a warm hug

  • @АлександрАнархире
    @АлександрАнархире 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Easier said than done

  • @deepika2644
    @deepika2644 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My god.... Man you always deliver very good quality content that makes me feel not alone.... I love you ❤️

  • @RohanSinha2806
    @RohanSinha2806 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This gives me hope

  • @bunsenn5064
    @bunsenn5064 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Honestly, I find that a lot of School of Life videos seem kind of cynical about human nature, but I like how positive the outlook in this one is.

  • @Enrico_Fusai_Counselor
    @Enrico_Fusai_Counselor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    2:37 - I just LOVE how they put Britney Spears as a nobile model for rebirth in life...
    She should see this!!! ❤️

  • @sam-jk5sn
    @sam-jk5sn 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    This channel has done more for my mental health than 3 different therapists and a trip to the psych ward

  • @impendio
    @impendio 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The problem is that whenever I imagine myself being alone and starting again from zero, I can only think that it would be the perfect moment to finally kill myself without shame or regrets.

    • @moehersk7808
      @moehersk7808 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Take it step by step man, think about all the things that will make u happy make a list and then think of the ones u can control and take it step by step. Theres always hope!

    • @Weeweevil
      @Weeweevil 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was thinking the same thing, man.

    • @dansmith2863
      @dansmith2863 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hang in there, the pain will leave it may not seam like it now but it will, spend time with friends and family and make new friends, you are awesome and your life is worth living.

    • @saratf
      @saratf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same.

    • @corneliao3o882
      @corneliao3o882 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The sad thing is that no one can really tell you you'll be alright. But the thing is that, you made your life, you made the body you live in(Except for what yo mama did), you made the friends you have, you made the choices you've made. You shaped your own life, and if you're not happy with it, you're probably a pretty darn bad life shaper(jk jk). I would suggest for you to think about, the life you would want to have, the person you would want to be. All this but don't think about the things you can't change, such as your past, it's in the past get over it, or facial features. Other than that you have a free mind to imagine whatever you want. What would you want to do with the life you have? If nothing, then either you literally did everything already or you're just trying to convince yourself there's no point. I've seen a lot of people hating themselves, and you can't just say "love yourself!", I'm trying to say "Then try your best to be the person you've always wanted to be, and fight for it. If you give up I'm gonna ask you, is the person you would want to be, a person who would give up on life?" Instead.
      Look I'm no expert, I'm only 15 and I've never been depressed. I don't know shit. But what have saved me from ever being depressed, and falling into the trap of life, is trying to be a life shaper. I hope it helps. I don't know who you are, but I still want you to live, and for you to give yourself a chance.
      /C

  • @Ritermann
    @Ritermann 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I did exactly that for too long. Getting out of Problems telling myself lies of a better world without the one thing I am worrying about at that time. What I try to do now, is to take really time, go for a long long walk and then really think about what is bothering me, and then think about where I am really at and what I really want at the end.
    Because I noticed, that we should not believe everything we think. That's why, think twice. And then think one more time. And then really analyze it. This really helped me a lot lately.
    Unfortunately, I am lonely for most of my life. And that is something I can't get around. Even with the best kind of advice. :(

  • @justinekim4102
    @justinekim4102 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    "Oh you're depressed? Have more imagination."

    • @marihell4296
      @marihell4296 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      What did you want to hear? Stay in bed all day?

    • @CherryBerryFashion
      @CherryBerryFashion 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What if You approsched this imagination of things as a childhood game? Since depression freezes Your desire to do most common things. Perhaps that could provide You with a seemingly meaningless yet positive expirience. And what if something meaningful pops up eventually?

    • @corneliao3o882
      @corneliao3o882 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well in the end you're the one depressed, no one is depressed for you.