The Zarna Garg Family Podcast | Ep. 25: Interracial Romance
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 พ.ค. 2024
- Ever wonder how love can transcend cultural boundaries? Pull up a chair as we navigate the blending of cultures, parental expectations, and the awkward rundown on safe intimate practices. Between immigrant parents and opinionated kids, the conversation is no short of a roller coaster.
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I want to take a moment and recognize how this family is facilitating an inter-generational conversation about dating and sex. Such a rarity in Indian families. Kudos to the parents for having an open dialogue with their kids and to the kids for engaging with their parents. Lots of ❤
Would this happen if there was no POSITIVE CASH FLOW INVOLVED?
NEVER.
Right now she's got her MILs permission to discuss that her father in law has only one testacle, remember?
@Fredastaire2012 on the other hand, would indians publicly discuss such "sensitive" topics? "Honor" is above money for some.
Also, I am always on the side of the joke. I don't care about facts as long as it is funny. It is about comedy, not money at that point.
@@Fredastaire2012 we had zero money when we married, pregnant and on food stamps, both of us had university degrees, no jobs, 41 years later , 2 kids, still in love, retired and have a nice nest egg. Had to ditch the Indian family, it was all about status and money.
I’m an Indian boy married twice … first to a Latin American (have two kids) . Got divorced ( nothing to do with interracial issues) then got married recently to a Malaysian. To me interracial, inter-religion and inter-nationality is beautiful and truly rewarding to develop myself to understand and practice inclusion on a daily basis.
You are just promiscuous…
A grade to Zarna! Shalabh got lucky finding someone that's actually smart. Her questioning, level of thinking and ability to put words to thoughts with so much clarity and eloquence is admirable! Brought amazing perspectives into the topic/discussion!
Zarna’s villanic laughter lol ❤ A to zoya for being able to understand the layers of complexity in this and she being so open to the family in introducing all the dates! that’s brave and deserves an A for that!!
My A grade goes to Zarna, simply because of her mantra - “Practical people win”. I’ve started to appreciate her practical viewpoints on life. Her wisdom, clarity of thoughts is really sound. I wish this podcast existed a couple years ago too, I’d have benefited a lot from Zarna’s teaching. Nevertheless, I’m trying to improve now. Thank you, love this family. Also, Shalab is great. Brij’s A great to his dad and the explanation for it was so inspiring. 👏🏼
As a child of interracial marriage, I’ve seen both the joys and horrors of both witnessing and living within an interracial family with interracial parents. What Zarna says is true that no matter who, both need to have similar values. My mom and dad were not raised the same way with the same values and it really affected all of us kids, (which is probably the main reason I was raised by my immigrant Japanese grandmother and 3rd Japanese generational born Grandfather, (meaning his great grandparents were the immigrants to Hawaii), these are My mom’s parents). There were so many fights because of the different cultures and backgrounds.
For lil one...this whole episode felt like a lecture.Guy had all ears mode on😂
Veer is studying for a test in the background; none of you guys let him talk, he's so either completely out of it or just enjoy listening to all of his funny family members 🤩🤩
As always, I love this South Asian American family and how they take on real life issues in a globalised world. So full of awe and respect for the Fab Five! Been married to an Indian for 20 years and I am Sri Lankan and our kids have grown up in both countries. Vastly different cultures, religions, traditions. The trick is not to amalgamate cultures but to retain the best of inter-cultural marriages/relationships and blend a new flavour. Don't get defensive about your culture. Embrace the good in yours and be realistic about the bad. Be more tolerant of the other's. All will be well. ❤❤
Can you elaborate the difference between Indian and srilankan culture? I thought we have similar values. I mean not exactly same but most part.
You guys are so naturally funny! Episode after episode, I am now falling in love with the entire family, congratulations to the Gargs on the 25th Episode.
I'm Bengali Hindu married to a half Peruvian/half Bolivian 7th Day Adventist. Our families have blended seamlessly because my husband has desi values: education, family, work ethic, respect for elders, etc. We had a Christian ceremony and a Hindi ceremony. We never have overlap of holiday/cultural events so it's very easy to coordinate family gatherings. We've been together for 16 years.
I give my A to Zarna. Cultural differences matter. Surface level differences can be overcome.
The Dad gets our A grade. Interesting how the conversation focused on the white race. Brig mentioned Jewish. My story spans 45 years. I married an American Black man 41 years ago. We have two different religions, races, heights (lol), customs and cultures. It works because of mutual respect. We have 2 very successful sons and now a beautiful granddaughter. Our children attended temple and church. I can’t speak for them but they experienced racism from the Indian culture. I recall one incident where family friends spoke in our language thinking I did not understand the language degrading our marriage and children in front of my family. It was horrible, I replied in English so all could hear me and said how racist they were. Still to this day Indian people who are strangers see us holding hands in public will stare with disgust. My husband and I met in University, kept the secret for years. Let Brig know birth control is not 100%, lol. So happy to get married at 23 with our bundle of joy growing inside of me. I should write a book. Our eldest son married a wonderful Black girl. Our youngest son is still dating. I wonder how your family would accept an African American into your family. Your children are very fortunate to have a father with an open heart. I would love to send you a picture of the beautiful family we created.
❤
Well said. I would love to read the book - please do write it ❤
Oh man that Indian racism towards black is disgusting! The fun part is some Indians are darker than some blacks - wtf, like all this stupidity with applying white powder.. of course if such people can’t respect themselves, they can’t do this for others.. salute to your family!
You said it all. Respect. By the end of the day in any and every relationship it is about respect. We can have 2 Indians with same core values but if there is no respect that relationship will go nowhere. In the other hand you can meet someone across the globe with totally different values and culture but if they respect each other's differences that is definitely a long and successful relationship for life.
Meanwhile, veer is just nodding his head at 25 minutes was the cutest thing. We need to listen to you more veer. You make a lot of sense most of the time.❤
People, let Veer speak. And when he does speak, don't interrupt! 😄
A++ to Zarna for tackling such a minefield topic.
Please give the little boy a chance, he was totally ignored. Never got a word in
It's probably because he's not yet experienced in dating yet because he's young and not explored that season of life yet.
I agree! Happens a lot! They never give him chance to speak! Everyone should have equal voice but I think it is more of Zarna show than family show!
@@sonaldhavale5271 it happens in all the podcasts, not just this one
It's because he's the youngest- you're never taken seriously because you're always the baby.
Im giving my A grade to Zarna for her unwavering dedication to being a parent.
My first A goes to Zarna. You are so wholesome and a great role model as a parent. I would love to hear from Veer. Hats off to him for being engaged despite not being asked his opinion. A's also for Shalab, Zoya & Brij. I love just how wholesome all of you are. ❤
I’m a viewer and not a commenter but I wanted to point out that Zarna is amazing!!!! She is the mom we needed growing up🥹 I love her perspectives and how much she invests in her children! I wish we had this podcast years ago
My brother married a Jewish woman and whenever I'm calling out to his little son who was castrated when he was just 7 days old😭, I feel like I'm calling out to a mouse...cos Eli means mouse in Kannada 😖....one never gets used to the inter racial stuff. Being a South indian, I would have preferred a beautiful tongue twisting sanskrit name
Circumcision is not castration! LOL! The names that are given to the babies are something that people living around can comfortably use them and not a name like nedunchezhian😂
My A grade goes to Zarna! She’s saying things that people eventually come to realize after years of heartbreaks and disappointments.Being an immigrant in America opens your mind to varied cultures and All of them have good things to offer.Ultimately u end up wanting to be with someone who feels like “home”
That being said ,interracial marriages with a strong foundation of love and a practical mind do work! Especially true of kids born to immigrant parents in America.Most of that foundation needs to be done in ur youth-so when interracial couples get together in their school/college years.They might have a greater chance of surviving the marriage years!
Its harder when u marry at a later age
Sorry, Zarna, any one call fall in love with someone who is attractive but a little dumb. 😊 it happens.
Sounds like good old American values at the end of the day
Rom com is 2 hrs long, not the Korean rom coms, lolllll epiccc😂😂😂😂😂
the marriage thing is THE MOST IMPORTANT decision of your life. know the person really really well before you take that step. DO NOT take permanent (well sort of) decision based on temporary emotions.
I give Zarna an "A" grade as she is very wise, practical and totally committed to raising good human beings. Takes her job very seriously and hopefully those kids appreciate that it is a privilege to have so much care taken on your behalf. After all, when they leave home they will be responsible for their own lives. All that guidance without lofty frills thrown in for appeasement's sake, will be appreciated. Not taking a jab at Shalub!
I can am 27 indian women and can’t agree more to zarna.
She is me❤
She is only 21
@@AdityaJapezoya is 21 not zarna
Zarna is correct. Cultural differences do matter when it comes to marriage. It's not racist It's reality. A grade to Zarna ❤
Agreed 💯
Race does make a DIFFERENCE in the long run......
there are millions of interracial couples who live happyly their children will be opened mind about other cultures
lol Latin parents are crazy
My A grade goes to Zarna.
Zarna auntie, as an Indian mom raising 2 little kids in the US, your take on various parenting aspects makes me reflect on those things as well for when my kids are older. As an open minded family, I always say our kids can choose to marry who they wish (irrespective of race) when they grow up. Zarna's point about exploring what it is like being with a person with similar cultural background and letting that guide you decision whatever that might be is very interesting. It is true that removing cultural differences can reduce many points for friction (not to say that there can't be other areas of friction).
These podcasts are doing my soul good. So much love, so much respect and care and strong bonds among them. Sure no family is perfect but they come close. You inspire me to be brighter and more joyful and openminded with my children and I'm so thankful for you sharing a small glimpse into your lovely family.
I give Zarna an A grade!!! Honestly, as a Indian NRI mom of a 20+ yr old, I can relate to Zarna sooooo much. And it’s typical of my son to always look up to his Dad who doesn’t care for him as much as I do…but I give myself credit for my good upbringing that I never bring up my private issues with my husband in front of my son, therefore he respects his Dad in spite of everything. I saw how Zarna also avoided that topic with so much grace and dignity…kudos to you, Zarna 🙌🏼 You inspire and humor us…luv ya!
This Resonated so much with me as my 20 yr daughter is going through so many similar things as Zoya and Brij! thank you so much!!
My A grade to Shalabh today! Every immigrant family needs to have a dad like him!
As a Gujrati with 4 kids I really appreciated this discussion. Refreshing.
What a family! ❤ Amazing conversation guys
Is Shalabh such a calm person even in real life? He is such a cool and calm dad!
Zarna's reactions to Shalabh's comments are cracking me up 😁🤣
My fave podcast
Shalab is so good at winding up Zarna
In all fairness, it doesn't take much to do that anyway :D
Dearest Zarna, this quote you’ve said “If you don’t explore dating/life with an Indian person, you will be thinking about it forever- what would have happened if I had been with an Indian” It resonated with me so much, and I’d never thought about it that way.
I’m young too but older than your kids, but all this time I’ve been saying - “I’ve had enough of Indians, all the Indian boys (and especially their families!) are enough to overwhelm me to death. I’d only go for non-Indians”
But now I think about it in your way, and it’s so true. I would definitely think about my life with an Indian and how it would have been, because I am very Indian no matter what. Even though born and raised outside India just like your kids.
Thanks so much for this perspective.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
I would like to give Zoya A plus for pointing of alignment of values. In my opinion, values are important for relationship to work. and A plus to brij for his looks
Thanks for Reuploading
Such an educative real conversation...i salute all 5 of you although all are younger to me.
Veer never got a chance to put his views 😮❤
I’m in an interracial marriage. I’m Filipino and my husband is Armenian raised in Australia. We’ve been married 18 years and I can honestly say that we have never really had issues with cultural differences. I get what Zarna is saying that the race doesn’t matter as long as their values are close or aligned to your own values. A+++ to Zarna. I think there’s a lot to be said about how and where a person was raised. If I met my husband while he was in Armenia and have lived there all his life, we probably would have had some issues. But since he grew up in Australia, the cultural influence is watered down but the values are still intact. Given we have similar values and I pretty much grew up with a lot of western influence, we get along very well.
Zarna I think is saying is that life throws everyone curveballs, then either couple has to be ready to pivot and still thrive. It’s being creative and using or recognizing each one’s strength and using that to react to survive.
Thanks for pointing out the cultural differences between Indians from different states. It can be quite a shock when you realize even though you’re both Indian, you value different things, different foods, social norms/expectations. American-Indian kids should be aware that just because someone is Indian it’s not a monolithic culture. Marriage is hard work, no matter the race you marry. Sometimes it’s even harder when it’s the same race because cultural expectations trump personal preferences.
Religion is the most important even more than race.
This was my first time listening to you and I really loved this topic. Very real issues. I was a professor for graduate students for 20 years and the issue of relationships for 1st generation students regarding race and ethnicity was something that was a common topic. I am also in a relationship with a Turkish man and very aware of the challenges for both him and myself. What a lovely family you have and I look forward to future listens. Thank you for letting us into a conversation that was both funny and very real. Zarna gets an A for raw honesty :)
Brij Beta, I know a woman personally who made holes in her boyfriend’s condom and got pregnant and had the child regardless of the boyfriend’s wishes (he didn’t want to become a father). They are no longer a couple. So here I must say your mother knows a bit more about how wily some women can be and you would do well to pay attention to her advice. Bytheway I’m finding these podcasts a lot of fun, keep it up!
Zarna, my son is 8 and he listens to me watching every episode and it opens up discussions and questions from him and it's good that you are an intellectual bunch and children always listen when it comes from other children.
You are absolutely right Zarna, no matter how much you love your other half, you'll always think of your choice.
My advice to the kids is that it’s too easy to look for what you don’t have. Make sure the ‘given’ you have now are being considered thoroughly!
Zarna - Thank you for this funny, yet open and honest conversation about interracial romance. As many of us in the Indian American community know, marrying a fellow Indian with all the right credentials (attending elite schools, high paying prestigious jobs) is not some 100% guarantee that marriage will work out. Divorce even among even professionally and financially successful immigrant Indians and US raised Indian couples are common nowadays and is only going up. Whether you chose to marry an Indian or non-Indian is an individual choice, there is no right or wrong here. Do what is right for the both of you based on compatibility, shared values, interests, life goals, families etc. Making a marriage last over a lifetime is hard work no matter the background.
Brij was brilliant in this episode. he brought up such great points. my A grade definitely goes to him.
He put Zarna in a spot when he asked her "Does that mean you will TOTALLY stop caring for me?"
Zarna failed that test.....her own trick back fired on her.
Zarna A grade to you on this one. Cultural differences do affect the relationship if you don’t have a very understanding partner .
For me I stay in Mumbai and am a maharashtrian married to a Marwadi😤 I am lucky to have a partner who understands my situation well but if I meet a maharashtrian girl who wants to marry a marry a Marwadi guy I try to do everything possible to stop her.
God sake the difference is huge. So agree with Zarna 💯
I definitely give Auntie Zarna an "A" grade.
As a person in a cross-cultural and mixed religious marriage, I agree that no matter how successful the marriage is and how much "love" exists, there will be problems. For me, there was a certain amount of lost identity, differences in fundamental beliefs that only presented during times of conflicts or problems, clashes in parenting tactics, especially with teenagers being raised in a modern environment, and struggles with "village mentality" and hundreds of years of tradition. Culture definitely impacts marriage by preconditioning both parties with predetermined expectations, taboos, and rituals that may not emerge until well into the marriage. It takes a very strong couple to succeed within a cross-cultural marriage. It's not easy!
As long as People go into a marriage with an open mind things would be fine
Interesting topic.
I give an A grade Zara, for having such beautiful loving responsible children and for picking a husband with a great sense of humour that matches yours. I love how you genuinely care for your family and that you are actually present in their lives.
I meant to say Zarna
I looooove your podcast)😊
I’d like to give the A grade to Zarna for pointing out how a guy would not have a power in an unexpected situation as mentioned.. #oh how I love the mother in you ❤
A grade to Zarna. She had the best line 'try integrating your partner to the family'. Totally agree and think youngsters should take that into consideration.
But am sure love will conquer all.
Why integrating into just their family? What about integrating into the partner's family? Or they've got to be airbrushed out of existence? 😮
@@MC-rw3lc - It was a gender neutral statement. It means integration both ways
Always A grade goes to Zarna!
Zarna ur so hilarious n witty … I had so many rofl moments! What an adorable Indian family. My As wd go to Zarna n Shalabh for raising such intelligent n sensitive kids.
Also maam the initial "coming up" clip up had no audio it's probably intentional but Ig it's preferable to have audio in that clip plus the next clip where you have your screen showing a clip you introducing the topic followed by same clip in the group call setting showing others too it's also preferable here to just show the group call template video
Most important quality to look for in a future spouse is integrity,morality, and their walk with God. Someone who has compassion and empathy.
A grade for Zarna!!!
You guys are great
One of the biggest recurring arguments I had with my ex -not interracial, but different backgrounds - was how we did holidays. I know some couples make it work, but I do think the little things can be the biggest eroders in a relationship. And I give my A grade to Varna because she gets that.
My A grade goes to Zoya.. I love how she really acknowledges all points of view, balances the whole family and keeps her point of view respectfully.
I also admire the parents for having an open dialogue with kids specially being an Indian family. That is truly commendable.
I do disagree with the point that interracial marriage is a work for the reason that it takes a lot of time and effort to get each other assimilated, and families. That actually could be a good thing as there are less expectations from the family and probably easier to ignore their partners shortcomings and dismiss it saying that probably they don’t know since they come from a different culture. Also learning each other’s culture could be fun. I do fully agree, though that the fundamental values have to be the same.
I understood Shalabh on the Korean romcom 16 episodes😂😂 kdrama can get super addicting😂
My A grade goes to Veer. He demonstrated excellent patience.
Absolutely LOVED Shalabh's shout out to Korean Dramas at 33.33! Zarna and kids, you gotta get on to them!
This is hilarious 😂
I listened on the way home from work and laughed so hard I was crying. That was funny and interesting all. At the same time. I do think Zarna is manipulating with her open mindedness :) I am a mother and I do the same and I'm not even Indian :)
I just realized (and fear😅) that I would be a Zharna Garg as a mother in future and also realized that actually I would like to be the one.Zharna you are doing it absolutely right.A++ to you from a mother👏🙏🏵️
Love Veer, I can tell he is a very kind patient respectful and emphatic boy .
This is the first time i am listening to you guys. It was quite interesting. Although i am following zarna maam comedy since pandemic but never explored the podcast. 😂
Zoya gets A grade from me. I really admire her for her confidence. 😊 I loved the discussion.. kudos to the parents ❤
I married a white Jewish guy 21 years ago. It comes down to values and values can be the same across cultures. Differences aren't always bad. It's an opportunity to expand your horizons. My kids are a blend of two cultures amd navigate both worlds easily. I don't feel like an outlier. My Indian family has embraced all new members and welcomed them. A grade goes to Brij. He has a good head on his shoulders.
Wow. I married my own country ladies BUT FROM DIFFERENT FAITHS AND DIFFERENT PROVINCES....I'M SOUTH INDIAN Christian...my wife of 32 years was a UP Christian....
And in the 70s that was considered an INTER-RACIAL marriage
And for last 8 years my wife is from Punjab and off sikh faith.
Life is never perfect.....but I'll never dare blame tough times on cultural VALUE differences
Come on guys!! !
#Jatt_E_Chennai #Ed_Talks
Brij is a very handsome young man. Any young girl would date him no matter their ethnicity. I'm an Irish Canadian, and if I had a daughter I'd be very pleased if she dated this intelligent kind young man.
He is too young why do you have to spoil it by talking about marriage. Seriously. That’s annoying.
Yeah, but sounds like they'd be very snotty about accepting your daughter.
Your life can get ONLY as good as your relationship gets! So, choose wisely!
I love watching your podcast. Yes I feel also youngest child needs a bit more time to speak. I do enjoy the comments by the husband. I think both of you parents involving the kids and letting them speak their experiences in this country is great.
I laugh, cry, enjoy and at times get irritated. But most of all love, love your podcast
This was a fun and enthusiastic conversation both Brij and Zoya made amazing points, highly intelligent kids. Even though he is too young for this topic I wish Veer could have also said a few words about it so that we get to hear his thought process at this age, the podcast felt incomplete otherwise.
Omg zoya's comment of don't date in school to suddenly you have your diploma now when are you getting married hits home. Lol met my husband at 25 eventually and got married a few years later. Same as me from the "west indies" as americans label it.
A grade to Veer for keeping his own counsel amidst this.
Zarna, as an Afghan American woman, I stress about our culture and religion to be always part of our kids. So I totally feel and understand what you trying to do for your kids. I give you A+ for all what you doing for kids. Being a mom is the hardest job in the whole world 🌍💕🤗
Shalab is so funny 🤣
Nice episode. Zarna A+++++++ for her concern about Brij. Shalabh F for Brij to be left alone.
I agree with you Zarna that as a mom of a boy we worry about a lot of issues.
"...happy for you to check her and pass your judgement on..." OMG 😱
All my votes to Zarna.
You guys should definitely make a video on public schools vs private schools
A grade for this episode definitely goes to Mama Garg!!
such a beautiful family I luv the mother she is a real hero i agree with her I'm proude . Shea right why would you want to be with some who comes upto you amd not doing anything good they just go with anyone everyone thats who they are you must avoid them Zoya brij veer find a beautiful Indian like ir parents look how good they are together your parents aww i love you all ❤ zarna is my besti lots of respect to you
Shalabh - I loved your Korean romcom remark. Guess u have watched Crash Landing on you. My A grade goes to Zarna for being a brilliant mom.
I agree with my besti zarna that you need to do valuation otherwise will be on back of your mind it's a huge point. I believe Indian should be with Indian and not go outside of it or it will look messed up. I agree with zarna 1000% and I think you should not let others ruin your roots
@Zarna Garg: I love all your podcasts and I think you have such an adorable family. I would love to meet you when our kids graduate next year from Stanford (my son is in Zoya’s class) “
First off zarna maam pls record your episodes for a bit longer they are way to much funn as well as an episode packed with rich insights,observations and opinions I would love to watch longer podcasts with more of the same
Secondly my A Grade goes to 1,zarna maam for bringing up the point of the values being same/similar maybe not necessarily indian values but in general values aligning is very important
Also the reliability factor is a good point In general regardless of interracial relationships
2,my A grade also goes to shalabh uncle for always being open minded and like zoya said possibly forgiving maybe as in letting them make mistakes perhaps not huge ones and letting them navigate life and thier mistakes on thier own
3,A grade to zoya also in relation to aunty zarnas point Practicality in relationships is key
Love is not enough in most cases we need to also focus in the problem solving aspects in possible conflicts in relationships
Also the second point is that she bought up the not dating until a specific age and then asking them to get married or asking them to find a partner etc is just so funny
Lots of love from bahrain ❤Hoping to see longer videos soon
Grade A to all the 5 Gargs❤
I’m on my son’s account, but I actually agree with Auntie Zarna. The values of a person are what count. I don’t necessarily feel like she was still saying to date an Indian person. I personally am a black person, but the values that she speaks about when talking to you guys are the same values that I would put into my children and are the values that I was raised with.
A+ grade Zoya & Zarna ❤😂
I am 42 now ... Had I seen this podcast 20 years ago, I wud have given brij the A ... I am a father now, I am giving the A to Zarna ... Especially after her wicked laughter ...
I've lived in India for 5 years and the truth is most Indians care very much about the lightness or darkness of skin color... they are saying race is not important but there's very little chance they would get involved with a Hispanic or black person 😢😓😞🤬
You are correct on this! I’m Indian, have been living in the USA for over 30 years
I agree with Zarna that I would also go for someone brilliant or else the conversation topic will not spark a romance. But it is best to have combination of brain and fitness. I am a Malaysian Chinese but I am not into Chinese and never dated one (prefer the western mindset). Brij has good insights about the wedding ceremonies of two different races.
She is so right