The Zarna Garg Family Podcast | Ep. 19: Discipline in an Asian Household
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- Dive into the complexities of Indian parenting! We're tackling the eternal question: where's the line between being disciplined and just plain clueless? From the nuances of responsibility to a parent’s right to discipline, we're diving into the chaos with humor and heart, and a sprinkle of cultural identity crises.
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Loved " No dog is eating my puppies."
I agree that that was the greatest line. No dog is eating my puppies. I laughed so hard. What a quick comeback 😅.
@@franpost9800I agree. Best come back, all puppies will always be under the umbrella 😂
Well said 😂
Was I wrong
@@ZarnaGarg No! Certainly not. It's true especially of Indian parents anywhere in the World, whether subtley or overtly. Kids somehow always are under parents' umbrella one way or the other. They always look out for their kids as they grow older way onto adulthood and dare I say beyond! 🙂
I honestly feel Veer needs more talk time.. the way Veer articulates is amazing for a kid his age and I think he has very important points to make. Pls give him more talk time 😍🥰
Well to say that would imply Veer does not get it from/ because of others. I would rather put it as Veer needs to talk. And it is not as if parents or siblings are not allowing himn or would not let him convey his thoughts. I think this is a very mature podcast in a way that I think everyone gets to talk or do talk to put across their pov/s disagreements. agreements etc. very transparently and in a mature fashion. Veer seems to be a shant ( quiet) more of listening kind which is an attribute in a coversation; for all we know or realise, due to this quality perhaps Veer has a chance to imbibe and assimilate all povs quicker and would have interesting points and thoughts to put across. Maybe he will participate more in the conversation as time goes by and he gets more life experiences as his siblings do, at their age.
Poor Zoya 😢 you guys are too hard on her! But Zoya fights back so confidently! 😅
She's a strong woman surely
@@ZarnaGarg that doesn't mean you have to always give her hard way.. No wonder she needed therapy
Veer is so articulate, intelligent and mature for his age. Your other kids too. All of u guys are amazing.
Right?? Where did he come from!
@@ZarnaGarg YES! OMG
I have died at 16:47. This was my whole childhood!!! The passive aggressive silent treatment is the real discipline. Aunty Z, you know your weapons. You know you don’t even need to confiscate anything or tell them they’re grounded… your silent treatment is fear inducing enough to discipline them. It’s a FACT about Asian households.
As a Canadian I was raised exactly the same way. My mom was just like Zarna. I'm glad today, as a 62 yr old woman, that she was.
Oh, she definitely knows exactly what she's doing there. How she keeps her face straight when they call her on it. She's gaslighting them 😄
@@nicolex5908 hahahah! That’s so true…goodness they taught all of them parenting in the same school 🥲
Shared experience! Thank you for tuning in!
Zoya and Brij are absolutely right about the fact that Indian parents connect every mistake a kid makes to a trait or to previous mistakes and connect the dots when there's no correlation.
Yess haha
The study has shown Indian parents produce and raise better Children than any other group out there. Nobody is perfect but we're looking at the statistics here. I'm an Iranian and know that in the previous generations we did SO much better. I think it's because Western culture seeped in our society. While Westerners may be on the outside look so much better with modern lifestyles, we can't ignore what's apparent. Indians are doing it much better. 🥰
What about all the scammers that originated from India? I guess being more strict helps, but it also creates rebellion. It depends on the individual not the parenting... in my opinion!!!
@@AmberxLovelyyscammers luckily make tiny, tiny percentage of indian population. not every kid is coming from stable household in India either. With scammers, some of them they don't even know what exactly they are doing, second, those who know are obviously the one's where parents have either failed or haven't been present 🙏🏽
“No dog is eating my puppies”🙌🏼🙌🏼 😂This is like me talking. Thank you for validating me. A++ to Auntie Zarna😊
So real though
My A+ goes to Zarna. To be a clean comic in America and being this successful is amazing!! Keep going, we love the work
mini ironically the only podcast where she used the F word twice. 😅 but understandable
Pop
@@bkirstieit goes above your head she adored them
HONORED
ZARNA!! I love the family podcast, no matter what and when please dont stop this!!!1
NO PLAN TO!
Please don't advertise therapists as "Bad" for everyone. There are genuinely good ones out there and they have made an impact on a lot of people.
Zarna you were a wild child back home, rebelling against against your dad (per your standups). You're kids seem pretty tame comparingly. Just sayin'.
Because they were throwing a studious minor child into arranged marriage 🙃
A+++++++ to Zoya. I felt her emotions and love her confidence . @ Aunty Zarna : I have one and only one request for you...can u please say I love you to each of your kids and give them big fat hug. I guarantee that will give many of us viewers a huge comfort and joy ❤ I am sure that wouldn't be hard knowing how much u love each one of them 😊 So please ❤️
I would have loved to have had a mom like you. The absolute care and love shines through every pore of your body.
@@bkirstie you understand this is a show? They are good actors.
Welcome to the family!
@@ZarnaGarg ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌹🌹🌹
I love so much about Zarna, however, the amount of gaslighting, the silent treatment, the harsh punishments, the strict demands of perfection from her kids, the eldest 2 are definitely going to need major therapy sessions especially Zoya because of how intensely she gets impacted by her mother 's behaviour
True
They already in therapy.
Zoya made me cry while laughing, talking about how scared she was. And then Brij topped it off describing the silent treatment from Zarna. I'm going to watch it again when it's over. 😂
Edit-My A grade goes to Zarna for her fierce love for her kids. One day they'll meet people whose parents let them do whatever, and they'll say to themselves, wow, my mom loved me so much.
I am so glad! Thank you for turning in !
Had the Principal called Zarna instead of Shalabh, the troublemaker would be apologizing to Veer😂😀🙂
Haha!!
One of things I have realised the longer I am an adult and still not yet a parent - is that as a kid we expect as much from our parents as they expect from us - it is only when you mature that I have come to realise that actually there is no parent is perfect or even 'good' (but God). All the parents that I saw from the outside as children as 'better' parents than mine - still gave their own kids their fair share of trauma ans complexes. All our parents come from their own trauma and all we can do is work on ourselves and heal and love our parents as they are. There is nothing you can do from the past but learn how you can heal and help heal the relations in your family. But constantly self-reflection is also as challenging as it is rewarding.
Haha yess!!
You look good Zoya.You don't have to touch your face and hair so much.
Shows anxiety.
It’s amazing how you guys keep it so real. And not make it all flowery and nice. Just real !
Woo!
EVERY parent is too hard on the oldest child they need to relax js cuz they are older doesn't mean they need to be better or more responsible they are kids too and you really should be showing any difference in they way you treat ur oldest, youngest and middle child cuz they oldest child can tell they were treated differently and harder in many cases. JS my personal opinion tell me if i am wrong..
I totally agree with Zarna - what a mother. U guys should be so grateful to have such a mom / parents. 18 -21 doesn’t matter - love and protection never ends 💕 - ps it’s not good to switch of location - it’s only for your safety and our mental health / peace
Of course, thank you!
Kids these days don't just take the disappointment of people around including from parents voicing the truth. Forget the context. Just be early.
Zarna, copyright this " IN A DOG EAT DOGS WORLD, NO ONE IS EATING MY PUPPIES" on everything possible. 💰💰 💰 🤑 💸 💲
This was the best line of the podcast, and being a mom, I can so relate. ❤
I think Zoya needs more space and seems choked by way of so-called discipline. I also think that both Zoya and Brij voted for Zarna just to cool their mom. Felt that it came more out of fear than being honest. To Zarna: i am totally with you on many counts, however on the disciplining part, you seem to be going overboard. You should win the battle by losing. Love all of you so much!!!
Even Indian moms of same age of Zarna don't do this anymore when girl is at college or involved in professional stuff. What's wrong with Zarna? It's not fair ma'am...
I see - thank you for the input! Only growing from here. Thank you
If I had a mother this strict and hardheaded, I would probably run away to my grandmother's house or kill myself. Parents have to have some trust in their children`s actions, if they are well informed about what is happening and could happen to a teenager in this world. I am thinking about 16+ yrs. old kids, not younger ones.
To the bystander in this situation, Zoya is not selfish. She was late. By 17 minutes. You spent soooo much more time "discussing" it, which just seemed to be reiterating these somewhat stigma-attaching thoughts. Surprising to me, for a family which seems so well-balanced in terms of each person's voice and agency. She's just a kid, standing in front of you, asking you to give her a chota break 😅 [Finals week, y'all]
Killer line ' No dog is eating my puppies.' so A++++++ for Zarna.
Haha!!!
@zoya is amazing young mature adult. But I think she needs to learn to say no if something doesn’t fit her schedule. She knew it was finals for her quarter and it’s okay to say I can’t join this week.
Discipline in Asian households is basically either physical punishment or emotional blackmailing.
To me the highlight of this episode was when Brij turned the table by explaining that Dad has the right to punish too in selective cases like when the mobile was sponsored by him whereas Mom trying to paint that he does not have ANY right just because he was spending money.
Zarna: "Nobody is treated as an adult in this household. Not an 18 year old, not a 21 year old."
Yes, we realized that. Maybe you should think about what it does to your adult children to not be treated like adults.
After following you guys , I’m more interacting with my family and taking time for them . Thank y’all 🫶💐
Keep posting .
Zoya is so right I didn’t even finish the whole podcast yet. I am in her side today.
Haha for once!
The whole episode is Zarna ranting. These people are too possessive about their kids to the point that they are not letting them to live their life
As a 31 weeks first time pregnant Indian woman living in the States, This gives me hope for my parenting ways.
This was an intense podcast episode. What stood out for me and frankly whom I would give an A+ are Zarna and Shalabh together as a couple. They really demonstrated how they work together as parents to both discipline and support their children. Zoya is learning how to manage time and commitments and Veer is silently storing away all the nuggets from what gets his older siblings in trouble.
I don't why and also I am not sure but Veer looks sad these days
"No dog is eating my puppies", nothing tops this! ❤
Zoya is way over-sensitive, starts crying so easily over every small matters like a 10 year old kid.
Zoya is an adult! Really, this is her mother's podcast and she is being guilt-tripped into being a part of it! Okay, so they are paying for her schooling, but...that's what many parents do. It's for Zarna that this podcast is being shown and she should not make it so strict as to the required attendance of Zoya. I mean, finals at a top-notch school is very stressful. Some students jump off of buildings because of the amount of stress they feel from school studies. On another note, really scary what happened to Brij - breaking his nose? Just random violence for its sake is alarming. Who paid for all that care? Surgeries and the rest?
@34:24 “No dog is eating my puppies” Brilliant!
Haha!!
thank you helping me to go back where that line is.. i love it!
i totally relate! 🙌🏻
@@ZarnaGargi looove your podcasts and your reels! i have to drop off 2 of my daughters to college in a few weeks. I relate to u and ur family.
The dad needs to chill out with the daughter. Its so evident that he keeps protecting his sons but keeps targeting the daughter. You keep saying older son and you need to respect him but you keep forgetting about your first born kid.
This was the first episode where I didn't connect with Zarna despite being an immigrant physician mom. Giving space to kids is also important. My A grade to Zoya for handling it so well 🎉
I'm team Zoya 🥰 I could feel her emotions the first 10-15 minutes she really spoke so well and made her point on being late Vs her personal tasks if this was me I'd probably have started crying and not able to speak hahah ! Sometimes grace is necessary 🤭 😍 Lovely podcast as always! love this family!
I love how raw and authentic this is
That's the goal! Thank you!
I want to hug zoya so bad, love you lots zoee
THe best way to nurture independent, strong adults, is to send them away from the family to live on their own in a safe space - such as a university- and allow them to engage in their interests and curiosities. In Japan, they have a saying "send away your favorite child abroad".
If you have raised them well, they will survive.
I am originally from Sri Lanka, and both my parents were pretty hands-off.
we have all grown up to be good, -productive, independent adults. I think love and care we received as children is definitely more important than harsh punishments, But Americans neglect their kids too much by giving them too much independence as children or by hovering over them all the time. It needs to be more moderate.
On the topic of sharing locations with the Mom or even other family members, I think sharing your location (at all times) with a.trusted family member or friend, is not a bad idea from a safety perspective. I am fully with Zarna on this one.
Zarna looks proud when brij said he was scared to come home when late 😂😂
LOL I was
I wait for these every week!! Yall are so relatable
Aw so glad!!
Zarna..lol. You mean you will be like your mother in law. All the kids partners will be under your umbrella.
Broke his nose so thinking you need to vote differently in NY.
I Love everyone but Zoya is my Favourite.
She is such a Absolute dream of a Daughter.
Plzz everyone calm down on Zoya.
Zoya you a Just a wonderful Daughter.
Al of uS out here in the Internet Universe 😊 admirers how you navigate yourself has a Bright and Thoughtful Person You are.
Zoya for President
Hooray hooray.
Hugs to Zoya ! I don't know if I want to give any grade as such to anyone today but kids although all of them are young, are grateful for the times their parents had their back and know how to handle some situations.
Yess
Watched a few of these. Shalab is surely a traditional Indian man so props to Zarna for standing up for herself and finding a way to speak candidly! 🎉
and parents are unnecessarily hard on Zoya.
Zoya for president.
Zoya - You seemed defensive and unlike yourself in this episode. A mistake is a mistake irrespective of the intention. It happens to all of us. I may be the first one to arrive at office everyday, and because of a legitimate issue, I’m late for a single important meeting doesn’t have to get me the expectation to be given benefit of doubt just because of that fact. So accept it and move on, and don’t take it personally.
A+ goes to Veer.
Just stop the habit of being late! Late is not appropriate!!!!
I think that is smart. She doesn’t want her kids to just remember being yelled at by their father. Very loving of her. If he has enjoyable interactions with the kids then he can also get angry and yell.
Exactly!
You five are absolutely hysterical! Zarna, you should write a book on parenting. It would be so funny. I raised 4 kids (3 boys, 1 girl “but forget about her” and I agree with your parenting. My youngest son had a problem of of breaking or losing his cell phone. One time as he and a friend were trying to catch crab, he was in a kayak while his friend was in the ocean. The friend was pulling the crab basket to the surface and once it was at the surface, my son started trying to poke the crab with his phone. Somehow he lost his grip on his phone and all he could do was to watch it slowly spiral deeper and deeper into the ocean. It made the time he dropped another phone on to the center of a pizza that was baking in the oven seem mild, almost understandable. I still don’t understand how his phone went from his shirt pocket into the center of the pizza that was still on the oven rack.
I think Aunty you're doing right as a parent. I saw your love, care, strictness for your children all in right situations. You have a very strong Indian parenting style. Indian professionals here who are CEO's now and many hold a very strong position in tech who are yet to be CEO's, has gone through the same parenting style. And I strongly appreciate how you hold your family together no matter what (purely Indian thing). Your children are always protected. I am glad. You indeed are an Indian mother!!!
Brij and Zoya : let me let you something, indians will apply one mistake u did to EVERY situation!! we as indians are exaggerating all the time 😅
Omg!!! I love this podcast so so much, I have been waiting for ur next podcast so eagerly and now it’s finally here and as always it’s amazing and with total family banter along with a lot of lessons abt life. Absolutely loved it ❤, keep going, keep growing and keep spreading love 💕, love u guys so much 🥰
Aw I am so glad!
I love your podcasts! I do think that Zarna is being too harsh on Zoya and they definitely overreacted with calling 8 times... I also do not agree that they need to be that sheltered after turning 18... like turning on location tracker is a bit much... I agree with another comment about honing the children's independence by allowing them to move away for university. They need to learn eventually what the "real" world is like (eg. learn important life skills like cooking, laundry, finding a place to rent) and like Shalabh was saying, it is a dog eats dog world out there. If they were raised correctly they should have no problem surviving on their own. A lot of it has to do with trusting their children to make the right decisions.
Western woke values are lamentable and its so refreshing your kids don't appear to be absorbing that dangerous aspect of American "values"
Excellent parenting, and the results are obvious.
Zoya totally love u - your parents I am sure are very very proud of you - u r like the perfect daughter 🤗
I’m from the Northeast of India(Meghalaya). Coming from a family of 8, our mom is super strict with us. Discipline us a lot and even using a stick or anything that is close to her to correct us. It’s normal in our culture to discipline kids like that, but im thank full for the discipline she did cause she did an amazing job bringing up all of us with good education and care all alone.
Yes of course!! Thank you so much!
Zoya needs a TH-cam channel already!
I am from India and grew up in househokd where a lot of your jokes actually happened. It was not fun for me. I laugh at your jokes, but I believe this intellectual torture and borderline bullying behavior of Indian aunts (or anyone) are not fun. While you couch these jokes in your shows, It is not a joke in real life. I am unable to laugh at your jokes on MCATS and all.
The other topic that stands out in your comments is equating Americans with white Americans. I am sure you don't believe American culture is white people culture only. America is a diverse place. Please have a think about how your comments sound.
I love Indian culture and I truly believe there is a spectrum of Indians as there is a spectrum of Americans and other people's around the world.
I love your show and wish you a lot of success! I would like you take my feedback for what it is worth. Thank you.
Zoya doesn't want to be told! She messes up and makes a case that SHE is the victim.
ZO-YA! Huge shout out standing your ground! Also Zarnaji - excellent job being Mama Bear! Love your podcasts I'm obsessed!
This episode was so relatable. You guys have raised outstanding kids. To me, you both are exceptional parents.
So glad!!
19 episodes in, this ones the winner - so much honesty, vulnerability and .all with great sense of humour. gotta love this fam..
Beyond happy!!
Dear Zarna, really entertaining podcast…I was laughing out laugh throughout 😂. I will be replaying it with my kids when they are home for the summer break. Thanks for highlighting the nuances along the way👍. Best to the fam❤…it was scary to hear about Brij’s assault incident 😳
Indian moms silence and their tone of voice are the way they discipline period. It does not involve taking anything away or physical gestures. Is the nonverbal communication?
I give A to Zarna on this one. 18 and 21 are still kids and American system is crazy to treat them adult and allow them stay alone on their own and make decisions. They are still very young and can’t still on their own. I sometimes feel parents just don’t want responsibility and abandon their children after 18 .
A+ to Zarna, devoted mother, willing to go to great lengths. Both children and dad lucky to have a mom like her.
Wooo!
I don't know if anything happens like where Zoya looks like she has to go through alot.. people has to say "no wonder Zoya needs therapy" therapy has nothing to do anything from day to day stress. Sometime it's simply sometimw to listen to you. May be Zoya is stressed about college or making right life choices but few people are like no Zarna is too hard on her daughter. My mom was hard on me but that doesn't bother me much as i know after one point that she is kust trying to protect me. If mom is not good then there is no way kids will be that confident.
Mother plays most important part in grooming oif her child, she has to be strict at times for the good of their kids. Your kids remind me of my child. I feel very happy and proud to see him doing well. Sometimes I feel I was strict bcoz I was worried he should not fall in wrong company. By the grace of God, he dint trouble me. Your kids are too cute and loving. May they always be blessed with happiness.❤ Your family is adorable.
Yes of course! Thank you for tuning in!
Very good episode. Would you describe your parents as very strict? Were there also beatings in upbringing, as was common in India in the past?
Shalabh you might be best at your work but Zarna really understands kids. Listen to her!!!
Thank you for the amazing podcast. I watched this with my 9 yr old and she said she feels the same way as your kids. I don’t compromise on discipline ever.. my therapist recently pointed out to me that me trying to discipline also could be mistaken for withholding love towards my child. That’s something I had never thought of. Might be worth thinking huh?
Very cute and amazing girl Zoya 😍😍 don’t tell her anything Zarna , we love her and we love your family 💕💕🥰
This is getting boring with family bickering. Not funny and not entertaining.
Zoya looks tired/sad, hope you're holding up well! Zarna Jiiii, I'm coming to see your show in Delhi. Getting my mom too. Super Excited!!!
She is well!!
Indian mom same i used to do to my boys.where are they.nowadays it is scary.too much going on.drugs, alcohol and sex too much going own.
I am from an immigrant home, it's the same in our house, and now that I have kids I discipline them differently, because I don't want them to feel the way I felt as a kid!
I’m gonna be their umbrella no matter how old they are I’m with you
With older children - cell phones are a safety device because they are going out on their own and if they’re in a situation and they need assistance, then they need that phone
I love the honest talk. We all have these exact conversations.
So glad!!
Veer is so checked out and not even smiling anymore 😂
I feel bad for Zoya
Same😢
Love you all.❤..so funny ,so real..you are great family ❤
I agree with the kids that some parents can relate one problem to another and make it look huge. However, as an educator, I need to say that "discipline" has no mercy, especially in the context of punctuality as everyone should commit to the same schedule especially if it's a pre-scheduled one that we need to follow the organizer. Unless the reason for being late includes an unfortunate accident or else no reason to be late whether it is a delay in transport, party, meeting, etc.
Well said!!
The A+ grade goes to Zarna for not allowing any dog to eat her puppies!!
i just love your family podcasts so sooo... much, i just cant even explain how much, just plz never stop them
Means the world!
Love all of you but must say that Shalab is my fav in most of these podcasts. Balanced, self-assured and most importantly very high EQ.
Not the husband
Control is tiring. But discipline is vital because today there is an disproportionate amount of effort to do the wrong things that would create convention. So, communicate with your parents so that they are growing with you and finding out that you might be trustworthy. Or inform you about the wisdom they need to impart.
Of course