I’m 36 and am 27 weeks pregnant with my first child. Your videos are like listening to the older sister I don’t have (only brothers here). I feel like I don’t know anything at all when it comes to pregnancy and babies but your videos definitely are helping me feel more confident.
Watched this while breastfeeding my second baby through her 6 weeks growth spurt. Every tip is great ❤️ I have to remind myself that I'm a good mom even if the ''only'' thing I did today was taking care of my baby.
Very good advice about the grieving, what I did was to write everything down, I was crying a lot, and I needed to put it out there but I couldn’t speak about it without hard crying, so I wrote down my whole birth experience, let go and cried LOADS and once I was done I felt so relieved. It massively helped me move on.
I started watching you before I was ever pregnant, and now I'm pregnant with my second baby! You've been such a ray of practical positivity since I started watching you 🙂
@@jess_hover I have shared your channel with so many friends as they join our family in becoming parents, and lots of people have found so much to relate to in your videos. Thanks for your work and perspective 😊 xx
With our first baby, we learned the hard way that as much as I feel the need to do all the baby care myself and my partner sometimes struggles with the newborn care, I NEED a break from the baby for my sanity. For us, sharing responsibilities looks like my partner having scheduled times that he comes and takes the baby away from me for 20 minutes so that I can snuggle the dog, snuggle the older baby, use the bathroom entirely by myself, have a nap, or just cry by myself. I don't mind changing all the poopy diapers, but sometimes I really need to be able to walk away from the crying.
I’m 21 weeks with baby #4 and I’ve taken care of all of my babies by myself. My husband has always worked a lot and nobody ever really asked me if I needed help. I Never wanted to ask.. ❤ I’m definitely going to try and change things up this time 😊🙏🏼 love your content! 👏🏼😁
A tip from myself is adult diapers work great after birth. They’re comfortable and you don’t have to worry about bleeding through or ruining underwear , or pads not sticking. It took me a second to get over my own self criticism about wearing them but it paid off. The black always nighttime ones work great and they look a little less like an adult diaper … hope this helps someone , I know it helped me
Thank you for these reminders, particularly about letting go of expectations and giving yourself permission to only rest, recover and focus on your baby. Just had baby #3 and was struggling with releasing into those concepts. ❤
Such a great video! I fully agree with the content! I have three teenagers, but my best friend recently gave birth and I'm processing changes to their life. The tips are actually great for life in general, take responsibility for what you need and want, and verbalize it. When life gets hectic, concentrate as much as possible on the most important thing(-s) and tune out the noise. In my family our three babies arrived in the span of 14 months, and it was my husband who told me that it's okay to only focus on our small ones and ourselves. He said 'Hey, forget everything else, our goal is that we are all alive at the end of the day, and we will consider it a bonus if are are happy on top of that.' I loved that Jessica chose words to fit different kinds of families! ❤❤❤
I am a first time mama and I stumbled across this video and I’m so happy I did!! Thank you for making this video!!! I am 7 weeks postpartum and wish I would have seen this sooner! I really needed this 💗
I’ve been a mom for 5 years now. This entire time I’ve visited and revisited your content. You’ve been by far the most helpful, informative, and supportive mother on the internet. I appreciate you so much. Baby #3 coming soon! 😊
The only mum channel new mums should trust that will actually help them and not feel worse 🙌 First tip is such a great idea! I always heard the asked or help tip but this example I'd never thought of. Absolutely doing this next time. Sharing responsibility tip, spot on. We're still sharing the 5-9 15 months later. I couldn't have had it any other way. Looking gorgeous Jess!
I'm the one who usually works the 9-5, and then also having the baby, and then going back to work as soon as my paid leave runs out (~6 weeks). I'm a single mom with a 2year old (partner and I split 15 weeks into this pregnancy), so I love the tip about writing down specifically what would be helpful if people come to visit and want to help.
I would love to know how your going a year on from this comment. It sounds like you had an intense time laid out before you, how did you find the pp period/ the last year raising two under 2? I’ll have two under 2 in 10 weeks (oldest is 18 months). 💖💖
Awe I love and appreciate all the thoughtful language you put to this. Hearing stuff like "even if it's not restful and it's a sweet rhythm" really helped me set my expectations more appropriately and have a warm perspective. I'm having a bit of trouble relaxing and not feeling pretty high alert as of 2 weeks postpartum but this helped a lot
Oh wow that one on feeling the grief that’s real and then focus on what is real in the moment, we hat hit me hard and brought up tears I didn’t know I still had inside me. I had the most wonderful out of hospital birth I had always wanted but then had to take my baby to the NICU and ended up having to still spend a few days in the hospital before I got to bring her home. I didn’t get to breast feed or hold her at all during her first day of life beyond just the immediate moments after birth. I have grieved this loss so hard and move beyond it on a lot of ways but it still comes up and is still very real for me. I am craving another baby and sometime I worry that it’s only because on some deep level I think I can patch up my grief by doing it again and having the post birth experience I wanted. I know that’s a bad reason to have a second baby and I can’t seem to separate the feelings enough to know if that is what is driving my intense need for another baby
I’m so happy I found your channel! I really appreciate your warm and open manner - you are super calming to listen to and your advice is easy to take in without being overwhelming. I’m 36 weeks with my first and I still feel pretty clueless, so your videos have been a game changer - thank you Jessica!
You’re such an inspiration to me, I’ve been navigating motherhood for a year and a half, and soon to welcome another! I loved the list idea, because people always ask what they can do and when your sleep deprived you’re just like “go away so I can sleep” haha. The only thing I would say about this video is the words between the tips, were on the screen for slightly too short, it was hard to read, but loved this video anyways!
Also depends underwear; then you don’t have to worry about ruining any panties so you can just throw away and put a new one on. I told my husband baby and I were both gonna wear diapers in the beginning
Thank you for this video. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and I'm about to finish a bachelor's degree. My first baby is going to be born about the time I would begin my exam period. I am doing everything I can to finish my degree before the due date, but she might want to be born a little before or I just might not make it entirely. My instinct tells me I should not pressure myself to get ready to do exams postpartum, but I'm feeling pressured to do so. When you said to focus only on the baby and my own recovery as much as possible, I felt validated in just leaving exams for later, whenever I can do them. I like to study, but creating and raising a family comes first and above all else, but not always others have that expectation, they assume I worry about getting my bachelor's done, even if that means to sacrifice my family a little (NO!!!). Thank you for helping me become more confident in my stance.
Great advice! I am probably the type of person who doesn't like to ask help but this will be very helpful to most moms. You are right, different personalities adapt to situations in their own best way. Be in the moment, love it!
Ahh Hi Jess!! Thank you for all of your help and support through your videos. I have a 1 year old and I still don’t know what I’m doing but I don’t feel like I’m doing it alone. ♥️
Im nearly 36 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. I also will have a 7 month old puppy when the baby gets here. 😅 My scheduled csection is December 11th. I am asking ALL the people for help this time! lol
Currently 5 weeks postpartum with my daughter and already have a little boy who will be 3 in November. Still trying to figure out how to juggle two kids now that it’s just me here and husband is at work.
Jessica, This is was SUCH a helpful video for me as I am definitely not feeling as supported as I thought that I would during my first pregnancy. I am definitely going to look into your community. Is it a global community or just in the U.S.? Can you narrow down where you find (which states) other moms?
I'm so glad! Thank you for watching! The community is global but most moms are in the US and you can see who lives closest to you once you’re inside! Join us we would LOVE to have you there ❤️
Great video. You're so endearing! I'm wondering what advice moms have for my upcoming third arrival. Dad will be home a for a couple weeks to help but I know it will be quite the transition to eventually be home alone with 3 kids all day.
Hell yeah both parents are working…it’s so antiquated to have the father or the non lactating partner not participate once they get off work. The oxytocin high exists in both parents when they participate in caring and feeding! It’s exhausting but it’s such a precious time that nothing else should be pressing. I still don’t understand why some women take the burden of caring around the clock when like you said both of you made this baby.
I am just in love with that 12 minute mark about 9-5p working...aaannd then the spice you added about the 5-9p both working since that work was done to CREATE the baby. Haha this was good and practical and just loved hearing it all over again 🎉
How entitled of your friend that wrote the list in point one. The audacity to even make the list itself. Putting in on the fridge is also so passive aggressive. Like hey if you happen to walk by you BETTER do something for me but don’t you DARE verbally ask. Dislike
Mmmm maybe you haven't had a child? Also for people pleasers like myself, it can be VERY hard to ask verbally. Also yes, it's exhausting to still be "in charge", getting asked all the questions, remembering where things are when you've just been through the most physically demanding experience of your life. It's not passive aggressive. It's there for people who want to help, people who don't or don't have time don't have to.
It’s not passive. It’s efficient. If 20 people ask you what they can do to help when you’re absolutely depleted and your vagina is ripped stitched and bleeding. Your nipples are cracked and you’re beyond exhausted. A list on the fridge is just fine.
My mom labeled all my cabinets and put instructions on our washer so I didn’t have to explain where things go or how to do things. Super helpful!
I’m 36 and am 27 weeks pregnant with my first child. Your videos are like listening to the older sister I don’t have (only brothers here). I feel like I don’t know anything at all when it comes to pregnancy and babies but your videos definitely are helping me feel more confident.
All the best Jennifer
That is so sweet. Congratulations, new mommy! I'm 39 and just found out I'll be having my first!
Watched this while breastfeeding my second baby through her 6 weeks growth spurt. Every tip is great ❤️ I have to remind myself that I'm a good mom even if the ''only'' thing I did today was taking care of my baby.
Very good advice about the grieving, what I did was to write everything down, I was crying a lot, and I needed to put it out there but I couldn’t speak about it without hard crying, so I wrote down my whole birth experience, let go and cried LOADS and once I was done I felt so relieved. It massively helped me move on.
I started watching you before I was ever pregnant, and now I'm pregnant with my second baby! You've been such a ray of practical positivity since I started watching you 🙂
Aw congratulations!!! Thank you for watching my content I really appreciate it and I am thankful it is helpful for you!! 💛
@@jess_hover I have shared your channel with so many friends as they join our family in becoming parents, and lots of people have found so much to relate to in your videos. Thanks for your work and perspective 😊 xx
I'm a third time mom about 3 months postpartum. You are amazing. Kind, down to earth, and very practical. Hats off to you! ❤
With our first baby, we learned the hard way that as much as I feel the need to do all the baby care myself and my partner sometimes struggles with the newborn care, I NEED a break from the baby for my sanity. For us, sharing responsibilities looks like my partner having scheduled times that he comes and takes the baby away from me for 20 minutes so that I can snuggle the dog, snuggle the older baby, use the bathroom entirely by myself, have a nap, or just cry by myself. I don't mind changing all the poopy diapers, but sometimes I really need to be able to walk away from the crying.
I’m 21 weeks with baby #4 and I’ve taken care of all of my babies by myself. My husband has always worked a lot and nobody ever really asked me if I needed help. I Never wanted to ask.. ❤ I’m definitely going to try and change things up this time 😊🙏🏼 love your content! 👏🏼😁
A tip from myself is adult diapers work great after birth. They’re comfortable and you don’t have to worry about bleeding through or ruining underwear , or pads not sticking. It took me a second to get over my own self criticism about wearing them but it paid off. The black always nighttime ones work great and they look a little less like an adult diaper … hope this helps someone , I know it helped me
Thank you for these reminders, particularly about letting go of expectations and giving yourself permission to only rest, recover and focus on your baby. Just had baby #3 and was struggling with releasing into those concepts. ❤
Such a great video! I fully agree with the content! I have three teenagers, but my best friend recently gave birth and I'm processing changes to their life. The tips are actually great for life in general, take responsibility for what you need and want, and verbalize it. When life gets hectic, concentrate as much as possible on the most important thing(-s) and tune out the noise. In my family our three babies arrived in the span of 14 months, and it was my husband who told me that it's okay to only focus on our small ones and ourselves. He said 'Hey, forget everything else, our goal is that we are all alive at the end of the day, and we will consider it a bonus if are are happy on top of that.'
I loved that Jessica chose words to fit different kinds of families! ❤❤❤
I am a first time mama and I stumbled across this video and I’m so happy I did!! Thank you for making this video!!! I am 7 weeks postpartum and wish I would have seen this sooner! I really needed this 💗
I’ve been a mom for 5 years now. This entire time I’ve visited and revisited your content. You’ve been by far the most helpful, informative, and supportive mother on the internet. I appreciate you so much. Baby #3 coming soon! 😊
The only mum channel new mums should trust that will actually help them and not feel worse 🙌
First tip is such a great idea! I always heard the asked or help tip but this example I'd never thought of. Absolutely doing this next time.
Sharing responsibility tip, spot on. We're still sharing the 5-9 15 months later. I couldn't have had it any other way.
Looking gorgeous Jess!
I'm the one who usually works the 9-5, and then also having the baby, and then going back to work as soon as my paid leave runs out (~6 weeks). I'm a single mom with a 2year old (partner and I split 15 weeks into this pregnancy), so I love the tip about writing down specifically what would be helpful if people come to visit and want to help.
I would love to know how your going a year on from this comment. It sounds like you had an intense time laid out before you, how did you find the pp period/ the last year raising two under 2? I’ll have two under 2 in 10 weeks (oldest is 18 months). 💖💖
This idea of a list is genius! Some times (most times!) if you don’t ask or are not clear, you don’t get! Wow!
Awe I love and appreciate all the thoughtful language you put to this. Hearing stuff like "even if it's not restful and it's a sweet rhythm" really helped me set my expectations more appropriately and have a warm perspective. I'm having a bit of trouble relaxing and not feeling pretty high alert as of 2 weeks postpartum but this helped a lot
Oh wow that one on feeling the grief that’s real and then focus on what is real in the moment, we hat hit me hard and brought up tears I didn’t know I still had inside me. I had the most wonderful out of hospital birth I had always wanted but then had to take my baby to the NICU and ended up having to still spend a few days in the hospital before I got to bring her home. I didn’t get to breast feed or hold her at all during her first day of life beyond just the immediate moments after birth. I have grieved this loss so hard and move beyond it on a lot of ways but it still comes up and is still very real for me. I am craving another baby and sometime I worry that it’s only because on some deep level I think I can patch up my grief by doing it again and having the post birth experience I wanted. I know that’s a bad reason to have a second baby and I can’t seem to separate the feelings enough to know if that is what is driving my intense need for another baby
Gearing up for my first baby in early October and loving all of your advice.
I’m so happy I found your channel!
I really appreciate your warm and open manner - you are super calming to listen to and your advice is easy to take in without being overwhelming.
I’m 36 weeks with my first and I still feel pretty clueless, so your videos have been a game changer - thank you Jessica!
Wow this is my 4th baby and many gaps... and literally what you said is exactly what I just said today and I needed to hear this
You’re such an inspiration to me, I’ve been navigating motherhood for a year and a half, and soon to welcome another! I loved the list idea, because people always ask what they can do and when your sleep deprived you’re just like “go away so I can sleep” haha.
The only thing I would say about this video is the words between the tips, were on the screen for slightly too short, it was hard to read, but loved this video anyways!
Also depends underwear; then you don’t have to worry about ruining any panties so you can just throw away and put a new one on. I told my husband baby and I were both gonna wear diapers in the beginning
Thank you so much for making this video! You are so eloquent and calm and hearing you speak brought so much knowledge and peace.
Thank you for this video. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and I'm about to finish a bachelor's degree. My first baby is going to be born about the time I would begin my exam period. I am doing everything I can to finish my degree before the due date, but she might want to be born a little before or I just might not make it entirely. My instinct tells me I should not pressure myself to get ready to do exams postpartum, but I'm feeling pressured to do so. When you said to focus only on the baby and my own recovery as much as possible, I felt validated in just leaving exams for later, whenever I can do them. I like to study, but creating and raising a family comes first and above all else, but not always others have that expectation, they assume I worry about getting my bachelor's done, even if that means to sacrifice my family a little (NO!!!). Thank you for helping me become more confident in my stance.
Great advice! I am probably the type of person who doesn't like to ask help but this will be very helpful to most moms. You are right, different personalities adapt to situations in their own best way. Be in the moment, love it!
Ahh Hi Jess!! Thank you for all of your help and support through your videos. I have a 1 year old and I still don’t know what I’m doing but I don’t feel like I’m doing it alone. ♥️
That makes me so happy. Thank you! I know you’re doing such a good job 🥰
Great tips, I always love your videos Jess! And love being apart of the weekly calls on the clubhouse 💗
Very helpful thank you!
Im nearly 36 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. I also will have a 7 month old puppy when the baby gets here. 😅 My scheduled csection is December 11th.
I am asking ALL the people for help this time! lol
Jessica is an incredible human. Omg. ⭐✨
Currently 5 weeks postpartum with my daughter and already have a little boy who will be 3 in November. Still trying to figure out how to juggle two kids now that it’s just me here and husband is at work.
Jessica,
This is was SUCH a helpful video for me as I am definitely not feeling as supported as I thought that I would during my first pregnancy. I am definitely going to look into your community. Is it a global community or just in the U.S.? Can you narrow down where you find (which states) other moms?
I'm so glad! Thank you for watching! The community is global but most moms are in the US and you can see who lives closest to you once you’re inside! Join us we would LOVE to have you there ❤️
Great video. You're so endearing! I'm wondering what advice moms have for my upcoming third arrival. Dad will be home a for a couple weeks to help but I know it will be quite the transition to eventually be home alone with 3 kids all day.
Hell yeah both parents are working…it’s so antiquated to have the father or the non lactating partner not participate once they get off work. The oxytocin high exists in both parents when they participate in caring and feeding! It’s exhausting but it’s such a precious time that nothing else should be pressing.
I still don’t understand why some women take the burden of caring around the clock when like you said both of you made this baby.
Thank you for this vidoe
I am just in love with that 12 minute mark about 9-5p working...aaannd then the spice you added about the 5-9p both working since that work was done to CREATE the baby. Haha this was good and practical and just loved hearing it all over again 🎉
Such a good video ❤️
How do you ask for help from family who believes you shouldn't be asking? Expecting you to be independent.
That’s so hard. All we can do is ask and if they refuse to help then we need to look elsewhere for support. It’s normal to need help.
I love you Jessica
I need a call with you am 3 months pp
How dare you suggest that the parents share responsibility! Lol
Down yonder 😆🤣
How entitled of your friend that wrote the list in point one. The audacity to even make the list itself. Putting in on the fridge is also so passive aggressive. Like hey if you happen to walk by you BETTER do something for me but don’t you DARE verbally ask. Dislike
Mmmm maybe you haven't had a child? Also for people pleasers like myself, it can be VERY hard to ask verbally. Also yes, it's exhausting to still be "in charge", getting asked all the questions, remembering where things are when you've just been through the most physically demanding experience of your life. It's not passive aggressive. It's there for people who want to help, people who don't or don't have time don't have to.
Hopefully she doesn't know someone like you! What a rude comment, hope you improve your attitude
It’s not passive. It’s efficient. If 20 people ask you what they can do to help when you’re absolutely depleted and your vagina is ripped stitched and bleeding. Your nipples are cracked and you’re beyond exhausted. A list on the fridge is just fine.
Who hurt you? 😂