How to Handle a Passive Husband | Ep. 154
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
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Jeff Bethke and Jeremy Pryor talk about how to encourage husbands to take a leadership role in the team.
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"Responsibility and authority must always be in sync" .. I love it. Great word
its like this. The Scriptures that apply to ME are the ones I concentrate on. If my husband shows ANY initiative, I support him even if I don't necessarily agree. I don't try to usurp his headship. Because he's passive I have to be careful to no emasculate him in decision making. I am responsible for showing subjection to him. I have more work because I chose a man who is not a lion. I chose him. I don't ruminate on his failures. I meditate on his good qualities because that is the loving thing to do.
The hardest type of passive husband is the non-violent unemotional one who demand respect while allowing his family to put his wife down and when she speak up for herself shames her for this and blames her. This is my situation. I stood up for myself when my husbands parent were mistreating me and he blames me for this and says I am the reason for no relationship. He is a "christian" but mostly in that he demands to be respected but doesn't lead our home in prayer or any spiritual practices. I confronted him on this and he said "I pray with the kids every night". He doesn't lead me spiritually and I have lost respect for him. I know respect is love for men but I can't fabricate respect when he isn't doing anything that warrants it. The best way to describe him is he wants to be called coach but doesn't show up to the game. He doesn't confront bullying by family members and isn't safe. I know what I am dealing with and I am sad because I want our kids to see a Godly home and they are 6 & 3 now. I am very resentful and at a place of disgust with him. I am struggling to stay in our marriage and keep it together without this changing.
I hear you. Do you have a place where you can let out your anger and resentment?
I had someone like that in my life.
When a drunk harassed me and I asked my ex partner for protection, he got mad AT ME and blamed me for a) telling him about it (poor him!) and b) told me it was my fault this man harassed and followed me...
We let these guys enter our hearts and homes and they refuse to grow up. It's a shame. I ended it before marriage.
Hope you can set boundaries and that he'll be able to step up.
Good luck dear one.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how discouraging and disheartening that must feel, like you’re spiritually mismatched. While I don’t have many answers, what I can say is that even if he’s not taking on his responsibilities fully, don’t neglect yours in the process. You too, as a wife, are created with authority and are a leader, though the responsibility differs from your husband. And even when the bitterness and loneliness rises up, take heart and know that when you pray with your little ones, when you’re sharing the scriptures with them, when you’re walking in love and humility, God is pleased and all of those seeds will bear good fruit. God will honor your faithfulness, and will stand beside you to help you even when it’s hard. Just as much as our husbands need to lean on God, we need Him too.❤️praying for you. (Also there’s a book called Spiritually Mismatched that may help)
I hope you’re well 🥺❤❤❤❤
What's the answer to the "how," I don't feel that was answered. Concerning passivity.
You do not talk about a passive man here, as indicated by your title. Instead, you are speaking about the opposite. Not helpful.
Sadly, only wife listens to this podcast.
So, if the husband doesn't step up, what should the wife do?
My 3 sons are pre-teen and teen who need a strong father. However, my husband is extremely passive. He has never led us. For the past 10 years, I thought men just don't like to deal with little kids. He's there but acts more like a babysitter. So, I led the way, like pulling a wagon with the kids in it, him on the side.
My husband is calm and quiet. He doesn't initialize any communication and avoids confrontation at all cost. He 's not driven at work or in life. He doesn't fix the house and keep up our property. He doesn't discipline, teach and parent the kids. Basically, if I don't come up with something, our family does nothing. He doesn't share the financial information with me. I don't know why because I am financially responsible. He is anti-social so he doesn't like to hang out with other people or family. He doesn't like to go out in crowded place, like festivals or big events. If he goes, he can't stay long.
We are such a dysfunctional family but nobody knows because I cover it up with a smile face. He is a super picky eater so we have never eaten like a normal family, like mom's cooking homemade meals and everybody eats. Unfortunately, 2 out of 3 kids take on his way of eating. It really takes a toll on me. It's always so frustrating to cook for them because whatever I made something new (from youtube). I am often beaten down with the kids' complaints, tantrums and meltdowns. So, I gave up cooking a year ago. Now, my husband cooks 2 things for them alternatively.
On top of it, my husband is also into porn. When the kid was little, he used to sneak out of our bedroom in the middle of the night to watch porn. I caught him 3 times. Every time, he promised not to do it again but he kept catching him. After that, I don't want to know anymore because I don't want to hurt myself. Now, I just sleep in the guest room.
On top of the top of it, my husband also has emotional affair(s) with his female co-worker. He denies it because in his mind, if it's not related to intercourse, it's not an affair.
Sounds like he's not happy with you. I got this way with my ex wife. I just checked out of the family. Chose porn over her.
@@timtim-hf3ut Well thats not very helpful is it do you think maybe you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
Im sorry for you its so sad to hear your story and any type of infidelity wether it be emotional or looking and lusting after women in porn is not acceptable AT ALL. Does your husband not pray or read his bible at all. Maybe explain to him from the scriptures what God expects of him as he is our higher authority. Also if you go to church please seek godly advice and counselling as a second step also. I know that people cant change on their own but i hope God can change his heart towards you and the children.
@@abiadu5276 Long time ago, my husband said he prays every night but I don't know now. He read the Bible when he was young, so he seems to know more about the scriptures than I do.
We have been living in separated lives for 3 years but live under the same roof.
Few years ago, we used to go to church for over a year. I initialized it and found his church domination (Church of Christ) because I thought that would help him to feel comfortable and make friends easier. I can make friends anywhere I go. He kept ignoring and turning down all the invitations to the family group gatherings. After 3 or 4 times, they don't ask us anymore. The ladies know me because I take my boys, volunteer and participate in VBS every summer.
@@lifeseries7944 Wow really seems like a disconnect is going on. Im so sad for you because its not how God intends a biblical marriage to be. You and your husband need to get back to the basics. He can never change unless he rekindles his flame for Christ there may be areas that you need to work on also as everyone is not perfect. Please dont let bitterness or hate enter your heart so that your prayers are not hindered but rather remember theres nothing impossible for God and instead pray over your husband for change and for yourself. If you have allowed negative thoughts or feelings please repent and ask for forgiveness and Also importantly please consider fasting and prayer in order to break the chains of Satan over your marriage and so that you can hear Gods voice clearer and get direction. Bless you.
Make sure he is not a narcasisst... If so seek counselling for yourself.
God bless.