Steven Seagal's The Keeper -The World Wishes It Knew How To Quit Him - Worst Movie Ever

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 2.7K

  • @SpaceIce
    @SpaceIce  ปีที่แล้ว +238

    Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice

    • @lucassmith1886
      @lucassmith1886 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      My boi

    • @bestkind123
      @bestkind123 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You just created the best name for his style of fighting lofl, true sloppy slappy

    • @Super-J10
      @Super-J10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      With a sprinkle of Native American

    • @Aidzburgerinparadise
      @Aidzburgerinparadise ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How many bottles of JD and cigarettes do you got through watching these Seagal movies?

    • @AdhvaithSane
      @AdhvaithSane ปีที่แล้ว

      And another movie where Seagal shits on, fuaq both them….

  • @Boomer04888
    @Boomer04888 ปีที่แล้ว +2250

    Steven Seagal suddenly adopting a crappy Texan accent after being there for a day is the most Steven Seagal thing ever

    • @Zebra_3
      @Zebra_3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      goes w/ the cowboy hat...a badass twofer...don't mess w/ Texas.

    • @bellissimo4520
      @bellissimo4520 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      What do you mean "Seagal adopting a Texan accent"? He invented it. The Texans got it from him.

    • @venichen1
      @venichen1 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      I find it funny he changes his accent depending on who he is speaking to.

    • @Boomer04888
      @Boomer04888 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      @@bellissimo4520 "Hell, I been speakin' Texan since I was the last samurai, around the same time I invented jiu-jitsu and crossed the Delaware
      River with Washington"

    • @elijahFree2000
      @elijahFree2000 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He speaks Texan real good. He's darn near effluent in it.

  • @BeautifulRhodeIsland
    @BeautifulRhodeIsland ปีที่แล้ว +1433

    These Steven Seagal Space Ice reviews are so much better and rewatchable than the covered movie.

    • @erict3728
      @erict3728 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      You're so right.
      BTW I may not know you, homie but I have a strong suspicion you're as Portuguese as I am... Educated guess

    • @BeautifulRhodeIsland
      @BeautifulRhodeIsland ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@erict3728 you hit the nail on the head boss!

    • @leoMC4384
      @leoMC4384 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Space Ice: "I watched many Steven Seagal movies.."
      **Cut to Ace Ventura crying in the shower** 😂😂😂😂

    • @erict3728
      @erict3728 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@BeautifulRhodeIslandawesome. Take care, bud!

    • @chillinginr.i.
      @chillinginr.i. ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ahh, I see another person from R.I. has taste!

  • @ColonelPanic007
    @ColonelPanic007 ปีที่แล้ว +1380

    The best way to destroy a heavily armed compound is to tell Seagal it's full of innocent families.

    • @BazookaToe
      @BazookaToe ปีที่แล้ว +83

      And waffles.

    • @Mouse_007
      @Mouse_007 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      🤣

    • @NEWBSQUIZZES
      @NEWBSQUIZZES ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Don't forget the cookies!

    • @TadaimaHakushaku
      @TadaimaHakushaku ปีที่แล้ว +25

      He goes balistic after hearing that 🤯🤯🤯

    • @yorkshire_tea6875
      @yorkshire_tea6875 ปีที่แล้ว

      How do you think Putin is able to hold onto power. It's because he let's Seagal kill anyone he wants as long as he kills Putins enemies

  • @Norvik_-ug3ge
    @Norvik_-ug3ge ปีที่แล้ว +306

    '...all he needs to do is randomly attack strangers, which quiets the voices...' 😂😂😂

    • @DanteMcClutch
      @DanteMcClutch 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      "it's been an hour he hasn't killed anyone"

  • @NOCALGooN916
    @NOCALGooN916 ปีที่แล้ว +363

    That hospital gun always comes in handy when your partner tries to murder you the second time😂😂

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios ปีที่แล้ว +13

      he must have stashes spread around like Janeway on Voyager with her engine room rifle

    • @sudharshangarg8936
      @sudharshangarg8936 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      ​@@HappyBeezerStudiosI am doing a Seagul movie run and watched this a week ago. They actually put a teeny weeny amount of thought into this scene...some cop comes to visit him and he steals her pistol

    • @BoisegangGaming
      @BoisegangGaming 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      The best part is you can tell how much of a narcissistic asshole Seagal is because his characters never suffer any consequences lmao. It's like a kid at a playground.
      "I shoot you in the chest"
      "I still have a pulse"
      "I shot you right in the heart."
      "Nuh-uh"

    • @feraltaco4783
      @feraltaco4783 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      He's the kind of guy who suddenly has a toilet gun, freezer gun, garbage can gun, car bazooka. And don't forget about the random bomb he keeps in the trunk of his car.

    • @machirim2805
      @machirim2805 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@BoisegangGaming Playground is the perfect analogy for Seagal’s movies. He always gets with people half his age or less, and he basically gets to murder and kill everyone in his movies with no consequences. If he does get arrested, the cops or some authority figure from the military or CIA or whatever will usually lavish praise on him and then release him. If he does stay in prison then the inmates all love him.

  • @eggy6815
    @eggy6815 ปีที่แล้ว +1416

    Nothing hurts me more than the knowledge that one day this channel will run out of seagal movies, so I’m just enjoying it while it’s still happening

    • @skipinkoreaable
      @skipinkoreaable ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Some AI Chat GPT type thing will generate some more someday.

    • @davidhero1000
      @davidhero1000 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hope he moves on to shit on current awful disney and mcu movies

    • @scottvincent3062
      @scottvincent3062 ปีที่แล้ว +216

      We will never run out of seagull movies as long as there is money to be laundered, free buffets at strip clubs and seagull not eating himself into becoming his own galaxy.

    • @robertmaguire1067
      @robertmaguire1067 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      He hasn't even done Under Seige 1 and 2 yet

    • @Chhjmmkg
      @Chhjmmkg ปีที่แล้ว +71

      he's got uwe boll movies too...

  • @glowing571
    @glowing571 ปีที่แล้ว +1039

    Steven Seagal playing a cop is like a poor man's, fat man's, lazy man's Training Day.

    • @wesleygriffiths8748
      @wesleygriffiths8748 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Except Seagal will never have the charisma or charm of Alonzo Harris.

    • @JoeMama-yd1ve
      @JoeMama-yd1ve ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@adoredpariah hot bimbo: "Is it true what they all say about you? That King Kong aint got nothing on you."

    • @BeautifulRhodeIsland
      @BeautifulRhodeIsland ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Only wet his partner gets is Stevens sweat from eating.

    • @einienj3281
      @einienj3281 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      And a lazy attempt to recreate the "bodyguard"

    • @tiattahiscupcakecandykatan2453
      @tiattahiscupcakecandykatan2453 ปีที่แล้ว

      I didnt like the ending, I thought he was going to bang her

  • @GigglewithFelix321
    @GigglewithFelix321 ปีที่แล้ว +2807

    Steven is white, Asian, black & Mexican at the same time. Amazing.

    • @aveedub7403
      @aveedub7403 ปีที่แล้ว +422

      Don't forget he also thinks he's Russian!!😂😂😂😂😂

    • @frankievice80s74
      @frankievice80s74 ปีที่แล้ว +271

      And an Indian.

    • @evillordbeerus2455
      @evillordbeerus2455 ปีที่แล้ว

      Steven is in fact White, spiritually Asian, half Black sometimes, Mexican by marriage, and, when the mood hits him, a big, fucking Indian.

    • @mattdubovik3082
      @mattdubovik3082 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      ​@@aveedub7403So Russian isn't white? Good to know

    • @RichardPhillips1066
      @RichardPhillips1066 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Maybe he has a personality disorders..he puts a hat on and thinks he's a different person

  • @A.G.P.115
    @A.G.P.115 ปีที่แล้ว +299

    "We can't find her until we know why she was taken" Imagine if law enforcement was really like this!😂

    • @buyerenogurlfwendo2106
      @buyerenogurlfwendo2106 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Right? Let the victim suffer because her dad won’t tell us why. Not like we should try to save her anyways then also figure out what she knows 😂

    • @last7509
      @last7509 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      this guy must be Frank dux dad

    • @andrewleah1983
      @andrewleah1983 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      The American police is like that what are you on about?!

    • @mrbig891
      @mrbig891 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I know right because in reality the police would and will never show up in the first place unless you owe the government money 😂😂😂

    • @Dan-di9jd
      @Dan-di9jd 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I don't know. The police in the USA are pretty bad at missing persons cases unless it's a child or some mental limitation. Usually they'll tell you to wait 48 hours and then you can file a missing person thing. Usually they do nothing afterwards because 99% of the time the person comes back and it turns out to be they left without telling anyone.@@buyerenogurlfwendo2106

  • @Noahboy8
    @Noahboy8 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    "He needs to attack a couple of strangers which quiet the voices" Seagal being his full psychotic serial killing self. 😂

    • @Tacoguy1000
      @Tacoguy1000 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yea, that's my favorite joke.

  • @Zbond10
    @Zbond10 ปีที่แล้ว +317

    I love the way Space Ice says “mega blockbuster,” it never fails to get a giggle out of me.

    • @konradk1066
      @konradk1066 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      lol, its always "Mega Blockbuster... that showed the WORLD..." it never gets old 😆

    • @raylopez99
      @raylopez99 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Because of Blockbuster (TM) video stores or just the way he says it?

    • @Chhjmmkg
      @Chhjmmkg ปีที่แล้ว +11

      may-ga blockbuster...

    • @sharpfalcon6196
      @sharpfalcon6196 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@raylopez99 The way he says it, I reckon.

    • @tyleradams9358
      @tyleradams9358 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@sharpfalcon6196 im pretty sure its because the movies are never in anyway a mega blockbuster ha, although the way he says it is also funny 😆

  • @FandersonUfo
    @FandersonUfo ปีที่แล้ว +440

    I think we all owe a lot to Space Ice and the work he does - God bless him

    • @jkdbuck7670
      @jkdbuck7670 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      His therapy bills must be huge.

    • @Dan-nt2yb
      @Dan-nt2yb ปีที่แล้ว +15

      His sacrifice is worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize.👍🏾

    • @Hoplasa
      @Hoplasa ปีที่แล้ว +7

      if someone has to watch this garbage im glad he can stomach it for the rest of us xd

    • @chloeirnes
      @chloeirnes ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I think they deserve some quality time out to dance in a Thai bar!

    • @Eddie-j3s6e
      @Eddie-j3s6e ปีที่แล้ว

      Not to forget the ordeal he must go through watching these travesties then turning them into block busters!

  • @leonndambuki4284
    @leonndambuki4284 ปีที่แล้ว +582

    Sometimes i imagine Steven seagull sitting at home with his beer on one hand and a burger on another hand wearing those funny glasses watching his own movies saying " godamn that's a masterpiece" 😂😂😂

    • @currentlyAddictedToKebab
      @currentlyAddictedToKebab ปีที่แล้ว +55

      or circling his nipples (like those south park characters) while watching Ultimate Seagal Compilation #14

    • @babblingalong7689
      @babblingalong7689 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@currentlyAddictedToKebab 😁

    • @ChimpFromSpace
      @ChimpFromSpace ปีที่แล้ว +46

      That's probably not too far off from the truth, tbh.

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      If those Keenan Ivory Wayans stories from Rob Scheinder are true, he probably does.

    • @coolanimatedshortsbro
      @coolanimatedshortsbro ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Steven Seagal: I just read the greatest script I've ever read in my life.
      Writer: Oh wow, who wrote it?
      Steven Seagal: I did.

  • @waynecampbell9714
    @waynecampbell9714 ปีที่แล้ว +442

    The narrator is literally making this movie 100x better than the original one. Best sarcastic comedy of Steven Seagal I've heard yet 😂😂😂

    • @malcolmcurve9511
      @malcolmcurve9511 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I was literally laughing all the way 🤣

    • @Jizzlewobbwtfcus
      @Jizzlewobbwtfcus ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Tis the only reason we want Steven Seagal to carry on making movies lol

    • @_1Marisa
      @_1Marisa ปีที่แล้ว +7

      True. Now I want to watch it 😂😂

    • @Jizzlewobbwtfcus
      @Jizzlewobbwtfcus ปีที่แล้ว

      DON'T DO IT!
      U DON'T NEED TO!@@_1Marisa

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios ปีที่แล้ว +5

      If Steven Seagal would be self aware and make these kind of direct-to-video productions as sort of mockbuster-esque parodies, he would be hilarious.
      If some of the scenes would be acted by people who know what they're down and who give a damn, they would be great (imagine the fighting-while-sitting stuff with Jackie Chan)
      If he would be an insane over-actor who hams up his lines so hard, every movie of his would make a great ham & cheese sandwich, they would be amazing.
      But that would require not having Steven Seagal in them...

  • @matthewhunt6525
    @matthewhunt6525 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    "The good guys know they can only keep her safe for so long"!! Lmao had me dying

    • @goofygrandlouis6296
      @goofygrandlouis6296 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      True. In Steven Seagal's movies, it's like we're watching the show from the *villain* 's point of view. 😅

    • @ssa6227
      @ssa6227 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂

    • @digitalthirteen
      @digitalthirteen 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🙂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @SomeHomesickAlien
    @SomeHomesickAlien ปีที่แล้ว +529

    Ngl when the woman told Seagal "there's something you gave me as a little girl" It was scarier then any horror movie I've seen

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      And doesn't Seagal write most of his direct to video garbage?

    • @ZeitGeist_TV
      @ZeitGeist_TV ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@bigbearkat2010Of course his ego and over inflated sense of self writes these movies.
      I could be wrong and he could very well be the cause of both the writers and actors strike.

    • @TalkingThrones
      @TalkingThrones ปีที่แล้ว +10

      ​@@ZeitGeist_TVIt's confirmed 👌

    • @amai2307
      @amai2307 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@bigbearkat2010 Like for real bro, just imagine - little girl, but it is actually Seagal.

    • @akawojo
      @akawojo ปีที่แล้ว +11

      and it immediately made her vomit too! xD

  • @dmpath
    @dmpath ปีที่แล้ว +572

    I was stunned that the young girl didn't throw herself at Seagal like they do in every other movie.

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      I wanted to know about the tracking device he gave her to wear, but as per usual, *it's never mentioned again*

    • @wolfiesjustfine6499
      @wolfiesjustfine6499 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      ​@@jimmyzhao2673Oh no, he's still tracking her. That's where true life imitates art.

    • @Komotau4691
      @Komotau4691 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Seagal dont ask. He take what he wants. But this time it wasnt caught on camera :D

    • @rogierb5945
      @rogierb5945 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Especially since he wrote the movie.

    • @treystephens6166
      @treystephens6166 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She ain’t bad.

  • @DotaCandies
    @DotaCandies ปีที่แล้ว +137

    I like the fact that Seagal is the villain in every Seagal Movie.

  • @LJyoutubing
    @LJyoutubing ปีที่แล้ว +129

    I died at the, "Seagall tries to order a cheesesteak over the radio!" 😅😅😅

    • @EddyKnightBlade
      @EddyKnightBlade 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      No worries his Stunt doubles will take over

    • @feraltaco4783
      @feraltaco4783 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Took me out. 🤣 🤣 🤣

  • @mikeshelogowski434
    @mikeshelogowski434 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    "Hospital gun" made me laugh harder than anything has a right to 😂

    • @dimitri4964
      @dimitri4964 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I was dying

  • @crossbones116
    @crossbones116 ปีที่แล้ว +356

    Segal getting shot at the start of the movie is like... the closest we've ever gotten to him losing a fight in a movie.

    • @RWBprototype
      @RWBprototype ปีที่แล้ว

      China Salesman

    • @WarriorEsoteric
      @WarriorEsoteric ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Hard to kill

    • @CharterForGaming
      @CharterForGaming ปีที่แล้ว +25

      He dies in a movie with some airplane terrorist thing.
      Executive Decision

    • @Scott__C
      @Scott__C ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@CharterForGaming That's why the movie was great.

    • @malcolmcurve9511
      @malcolmcurve9511 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@CharterForGaming I felt a sigh of relief when he died in that movie. My entire family applauded that scene

  • @Kelveron
    @Kelveron ปีที่แล้ว +578

    In the entire history of film review, no one has brilliantly, hilariously and accurately mocked an 'actor' as Space Ice has mocked Steven Seagal! Bravo sir, great job every time. 🤣

    • @tehpurplepills
      @tehpurplepills ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Seagal is not an actor, he is a trained killer, real life warlord, and certified badass

    • @Voodoo_One
      @Voodoo_One ปีที่แล้ว +13

      ​@@tehpurplepillswell, certainly ones brain cells will be mass murdered watching that crap. So yeah, at least that will be achieved by seagull

    • @seewhativescene
      @seewhativescene ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Typing long rambling babbling essays reminds me of seagal, good job comrade ​@@Voodoo_One

    • @rockerdude9397
      @rockerdude9397 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤣🤣

    • @jamessanders8895
      @jamessanders8895 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm proud to be your 420th like! Sammy "The Bull" says that Steven Seagal shit himself twice on set and then cried to the F.B.I., and I believe it. 😂🎉

  • @nKaizer
    @nKaizer ปีที่แล้ว +310

    The continuous joke about licence plates, women creeper, being the best at everything and such is pure comedy. Pure joy of watching

    • @G0ddEityawesome
      @G0ddEityawesome ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Women creeper is actually not a joke but truth

    • @absolutelyfookinnobody2843
      @absolutelyfookinnobody2843 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And him being the best thing is a joke but steven does it in every single movie

    • @nKaizer
      @nKaizer ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I know guys, I referred it as a joke because we're making fun of him here, but it is truth and lack of self awareness..I know because I'm not Seagall

    • @ShesMongolianASMR
      @ShesMongolianASMR ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Women creeping is funny to you?

    • @maciek8159
      @maciek8159 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@ShesMongolianASMRIt's a joke. Grow up. You are a buzz kill. Are you the type of person who goes to comedy shows and gets offended? I bet you are real pleasant to be around huh?

  • @peteschaub7561
    @peteschaub7561 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    "After having one of his best sit-down shootouts" 😂 Only Seagal can have so many that they're ranked.

    • @julianrosas9134
      @julianrosas9134 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That was top five for sure

  • @r.e.d.docena5957
    @r.e.d.docena5957 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    When even the bad guy asked Seagal not to kill the children... 😂

    • @segalman
      @segalman 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "fck you, he will never agree to that!"😂

    • @nobbynobbs8182
      @nobbynobbs8182 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Did Steven Seagal even knew he was in a movie?

    • @dontcare7086
      @dontcare7086 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It is wild how the plot establishes he is a bad guy who kills people well breaking every law a cop should follow then just forgets about that. His partner did the right thing. No redemption arc, no going full on evil cop. Just forget about it and start 5 other plots that go nowhere.

  • @justinjohnson1360
    @justinjohnson1360 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    ""He needs a quick break from all that standing"😂😂😂

  • @enalb5085
    @enalb5085 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    i like how you framed steven segal as the kidnapper lmao

    • @tailedgates9
      @tailedgates9 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      And is the one trying to kill the hostage. XD "F**k! Out of ammo." Lol

    • @raylopez99
      @raylopez99 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Framed Seagal? Sounds like the plot of a Seagal movie.

    • @monarxk
      @monarxk ปีที่แล้ว

      Yo, that was soo funny😂

    • @holosbachstudios9122
      @holosbachstudios9122 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@raylopez99 a steven seagal remake of murphy's law (1986)

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Seagal movies make more sense when you see him as the villain.

  • @SpokoR3
    @SpokoR3 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    "Tiny binoculars made up of two Hubble telescopes." I've rarely come across such a genius hilarious line in my entire 30 years of experience

  • @jessicachafoya3747
    @jessicachafoya3747 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    “ After mandating that she’d take 8 hours of sexual harassment training every quarter, he takes the job!” I died 💀 😂

  • @otacon444
    @otacon444 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Daughter gets kidnapped. “Eh…I’ve got other business to attend to.” LMAO what?

  • @johnjamele
    @johnjamele ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Seagal doesn't show the world he's back. He shows the world that he's still here and refuses to leave.

  • @_BhagavadGita
    @_BhagavadGita ปีที่แล้ว +68

    "Seagal goes full sloppy slappy on him." 🤣😅😂

  • @crane8819
    @crane8819 ปีที่แล้ว +200

    It's impressive that Seagal has been making movies as long as he has yet his acting hasn't improved at all. That has to be a skill in and of itself. 😅

    • @ZephaniahL
      @ZephaniahL ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I’d go further - it has worsened.

    • @sevagapkarian4699
      @sevagapkarian4699 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Do film acting skills matter in a money laundering front?

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I'm sure in his mind he thinks 'why mess with perfection'?

    • @muskyoxes
      @muskyoxes ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Each line read is the worst line read he's ever given

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@muskyoxes The exception being "I will snatch every motherfucker birthday". That is a line to be remembered.

  • @MoreBuffMoreMuff
    @MoreBuffMoreMuff 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    "None of the bathroom cameras are even facing the bathroom."

  • @NewYouTubeHandle1
    @NewYouTubeHandle1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    0:40 "Now Seagal just needs a quick break from all that standing" Sides in orbit

  • @mettehermkens6645
    @mettehermkens6645 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    I'm at the point in my life that a new video of you rating Seagal movies is the highlight of the weekend 🤣

  • @latarribell4152
    @latarribell4152 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    I got 50 bucks to spare. I’m gonna give it to Seagal so he can make 6 more movies for Space Ice to review.

    • @vasvas8914
      @vasvas8914 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Most budget would go to women tolerating scenes with him

    • @HotSauceForTheSoul
      @HotSauceForTheSoul ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He'll just use it to buy more Philly cheesesteaks.

    • @jaycol21
      @jaycol21 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Don’t forget to get your change.

    • @ssoory6343
      @ssoory6343 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's waay more than the DVD sales of those 6 movies

    • @nobbynobbs8182
      @nobbynobbs8182 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Augh

  • @VeeeeeryDisturbing
    @VeeeeeryDisturbing ปีที่แล้ว +244

    At this point I wouldn’t even be surprised if Steven seagal turned out to be an actual serial killer 😂

    • @chichfm5108
      @chichfm5108 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      😂😂

    • @mattg4705
      @mattg4705 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      He is absolutely not smart enough to be a serial killer

    • @galil_6863
      @galil_6863 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      He'd probably send his body double to commit the murders

    • @Nostromo2144
      @Nostromo2144 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      He is...a moviemaking serial killer!!!

    • @serenity8839
      @serenity8839 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      ​@@mattg4705or its working in his favour everyone just assumes it can't be him as he is thick 😂

  • @haroldb1856
    @haroldb1856 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This channel is keeping Steven Seagal's legacy alive and showcasing it to a new generation.

  • @roryslaine7896
    @roryslaine7896 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    "Now they have a serial killer they have to deal with...
    Nevermind, it's just Seagal." 😂😂

  • @BabyKobeeee
    @BabyKobeeee ปีที่แล้ว +67

    The way he changes his accent depending on who he’s talking to is the funniest thing

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Tom Segura warned us all

    • @robertcatania1120
      @robertcatania1120 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The fact that Segal has no clue how racist he is being when he does that is hilarious to me!

    • @Bigedub101
      @Bigedub101 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@robertcatania1120Its hilariously bad how he changes accents when talking to different races

  • @Aanteatur
    @Aanteatur ปีที่แล้ว +44

    "Rescuing one of Seagulls victims won't be that easy" fucking LOL

  • @db1777
    @db1777 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    Perfect way to start off a long weekend with Steven Seagull roasting session by Space Ice 🇨🇦

    • @nicomancinicorleone9768
      @nicomancinicorleone9768 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yessss😂😂😂😂

    • @mayhemmcfly4229
      @mayhemmcfly4229 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It is!! Happy Canada Day, fellow Canadian! 🇨🇦🍁

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mayhemmcfly4229 🟥🍁🟥 yay Canada !

  • @peterpan2859
    @peterpan2859 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The "relaxed car chase" looks like a Will Sasso MadTV sketch. This is gold 🤣🤣

  • @nicholasleclerc1583
    @nicholasleclerc1583 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    5:57
    “The good guys know they can only keep her safe from Seagal for so long”
    Omfg, the fucking passive aggressive SHEER HATRED you have for him is fucking amaaaaaziiiiiiiing !!!!!

  • @mattmurdock5424
    @mattmurdock5424 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    I love how he switches accents from normal to southern mid-movie. Only Steven Seagal

    • @jakeh6980
      @jakeh6980 ปีที่แล้ว

      No, he went from his black accent to his 💩 texas accent

    • @malcolmcurve9511
      @malcolmcurve9511 ปีที่แล้ว

      He is the worst action actor the world has ever seen. Nobody does the same shit he does he's a legend in his own garbage

  • @SALVATORE---0087
    @SALVATORE---0087 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    How the hell is space ice soo damn funny!? I hope seagal keeps making movies so we can keep getting these hilariously, witty break downs

    • @PoulDK
      @PoulDK ปีที่แล้ว +7

      His sarcasm game is om point.

    • @rickwong9049
      @rickwong9049 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Unfortunately Seagal took a path of no return with his venture in Russia. So our only hope now is Neil Breen.

    • @valvenator
      @valvenator ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Soon to come a Steven Seagal movie Fund Me page sponsored by Space Ice

  • @Kaermon
    @Kaermon ปีที่แล้ว +57

    I love your Steven Seagal reviews! You had me rolling since the start, but I really lost it at "Hospital gun". Thanks and keep up the great work!

  • @Mikeb-NH
    @Mikeb-NH ปีที่แล้ว +15

    “He’s interrupted by one of his biggest pet peeves”. I honestly thought it was going to be a flight of stairs.

    • @_Paul_N
      @_Paul_N ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Or a buffet closing

  • @clara5924
    @clara5924 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I never could sit myself watching Seagal films. Thanks for the review, it’s more entertaining than the actual film 😂

    • @malcolmcurve9511
      @malcolmcurve9511 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I stopped watching watching his movies after failing to finish a few of them. You need to switch of your brain to endure just 30 mins of one, but even that is not enough

  • @casperharlet
    @casperharlet ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Steven Seagal's tiny binoculars made up of 2 Hubble telescopes, classic!

  • @gbap8230
    @gbap8230 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    How to get an actor to actually try in a Seagal movie: trap them in his trailer.

  • @mieloso8255
    @mieloso8255 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    I felt a wave of embarrassment come over me from all the decisions Seagull makes in this movie. Thank you space ice for your diligence. I don't think I could watch this movie first hand.

    • @Rainbowkitty09
      @Rainbowkitty09 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      "Seagull" made me laugh irrationally hard.

    • @marcust478
      @marcust478 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He's getting there!
      For the first time ever in one of his movie he was actually ambushed and sent to the Hospital.
      Even though he's still ex-special forces, the greatest most talented person that ever lived...again.

  • @elmnt420
    @elmnt420 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    2:17 he throws a knife and misses it. Still decides to leave the shot in.😂

  • @rob1nsky
    @rob1nsky ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The narrators delivery has me on the floor for the duration of the videos. Space Ice, BRAVO!

  • @cgsweat
    @cgsweat ปีที่แล้ว +99

    I was kind of rooting for Seagal's partner at the beginning to finally kill Seagal, but then I realized we wouldn't have any more glorious Space Ice reviews.... Long live Seagal!

    • @eec_h_o
      @eec_h_o ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm amazed that there was a whole plotline where another character realizes Seagal is a bad guy and tries to stop him, and then he dies and the movie just moves along and pretends like it never happened.

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@eec_h_o Indeed. *It's never mentioned again*

  • @SuperVlad666
    @SuperVlad666 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    "... which quiets the voices..." made me cry. Thank you.

  • @truthhurts3524
    @truthhurts3524 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    “10lbs 4 reps!”
    😂😂

    • @Zebra_3
      @Zebra_3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      no rest period...that's badass.

    • @truthhurts3524
      @truthhurts3524 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And judging by those tree trunks, he doesn’t skip leg day

  • @Diceman770
    @Diceman770 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This channel gives me life.

  • @ruthnoyes4228
    @ruthnoyes4228 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    That tan shirt he’s wearing at 2:30 that nearly goes down to his knees is everything 😂Oh to be a fly on the wall in wardrobe for these movies

  • @Markus_Andrew
    @Markus_Andrew ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I appreciated the mini-lecture on proper urinal etiquette in the description. It needed to be said.

  • @williamnoonan7380
    @williamnoonan7380 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    "Oh, please. The shorter, the better" made me laugh for 10 straight minutes

  • @phasm42
    @phasm42 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    "Nevermind, it's just Seagal doing Seagal things." 😅

  • @spencerherron5539
    @spencerherron5539 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    She was kidnapped over a f-ing uranium mine! 😂 his inflection is so perfect.

  • @Dan-di9jd
    @Dan-di9jd ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I just watched the film myself. The entire plot revolves around Seagal and his lady pal. It seems like everyone owes him a favor because earlier he beat up someone for them like he’s in 2nd grade or something. Also the woman he’s protecting is falling for him and wants him to love her because she senses something profound about him. His fascination about this bodyguard-client relationship goes so deep that it ignores everything wrong with the overall plot of someone trying to kidnap her for a uranium mine.

  • @wiseone1013
    @wiseone1013 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    The Steven Seagal POV is always a wild ride and funny as hell.

  • @NiIex
    @NiIex ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "He kills like 5 families a shift"
    After a minute already I need to take a laugh break 🤣

  • @AvoidTheCadaver
    @AvoidTheCadaver ปีที่แล้ว +52

    @6:28 Seagal is so incredible that he even managed to remove the license plates off the cop cares *before* they showed up.

    • @galil_6863
      @galil_6863 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The police didn't arrest him for the shooting, they arrested him for stealing their license plates

    • @larrywest42
      @larrywest42 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can't believe they cut out the scene where he slapped the plates off the cars using his famous slapkido moves.

  • @CL3V3Rtrevor
    @CL3V3Rtrevor ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I'm guessing Seagal thought barrells of uranium just explode if shot.

    • @Theodore_Twombly
      @Theodore_Twombly 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And water explodes when it freezes!

  • @bcunning456
    @bcunning456 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Space Ice!!! Please do one of these for the Seagal movie ‘Asian Connection’. I just found out a friend of mine is in it. He told me this week, I checked, and it’s true! I’m pretty sure it will be the only time in my life where someone I know will ever tell me they were in a Seagal movie. I’ll die happy if you can make this happen.

  • @NotTheGrimmReaper
    @NotTheGrimmReaper ปีที่แล้ว +71

    The Seagal reviews on this channel are the only series, i anxiously wait for. i laugh my ass off at every episode. i only found this channel like two months ago,and have watched everyone of them over and over. You're a legend Space Ice.

    • @Chhjmmkg
      @Chhjmmkg ปีที่แล้ว +6

      uwe boll ones are a masterpiece as well... and van damme ones are great

    • @NotTheGrimmReaper
      @NotTheGrimmReaper ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Chhjmmkg True, , the Neil Breen ones are good aswell. The Seagal ones are my favorite. Hell anything he narrates would be funny tbh.

    • @Pound-Town
      @Pound-Town ปีที่แล้ว +4

      JCVD is the true greatness

    • @NotTheGrimmReaper
      @NotTheGrimmReaper ปีที่แล้ว

      True, but I just like watching seagal get dunked on by Space Ice. lol

    • @josef-Connected
      @josef-Connected ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@Pound-TownHe was good in kick boxing . Norris said he was very ,very good .Unfortunatelly ha is a lousy actor..

  • @TimTimmay
    @TimTimmay ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Nothing better than starting your month off with a nice
    *SPACE ICE: SEAGAL BASHING* 😂

  • @jordanbooth4470
    @jordanbooth4470 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    A new Sensei Seagal video on my actual birthday, the greatest present anyone could hope for

    • @ADR69
      @ADR69 ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy birthday🎉

    • @johnsanko4136
      @johnsanko4136 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would wish you a happy birthday, but Segal just snatched your mother fucker birthday.

    • @MrJedroi258
      @MrJedroi258 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Happy Birthday

  • @crazyworld54321
    @crazyworld54321 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "These tiny binoculars made up of two Hubble telescopes".
    LMAO

  • @thabotheron
    @thabotheron ปีที่แล้ว +38

    That knife throw is entirely accurate.

    • @jaysonlee4394
      @jaysonlee4394 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      "neck full of ass knife"-Space ice..one of my favorite qoutes

    • @clbeefburger459
      @clbeefburger459 ปีที่แล้ว

      All part of the script!

  • @jackrex7817
    @jackrex7817 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I think Space Ice's premise of Seagal being the villain in each film is true. If you go back and watch any Seagal movie, but view it from the perspective that he is the villain, it actually works out way too well.

    • @kolossis8283
      @kolossis8283 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I mean, he do be commiting a lot of atrocities as a government or law enforcer in his movies.

    • @malcolmcurve9511
      @malcolmcurve9511 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@kolossis8283 he is a serial killer maniac in all his movies

  • @musicaepica1
    @musicaepica1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    When fighting depression, come to this channel 😂😂😂

  • @TheAverageGuy12
    @TheAverageGuy12 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Never leave home without your "Hospital Gun"👍

  • @SirWilliamKidney
    @SirWilliamKidney ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Woooo I was just starting to go into Steven Seagull withdrawals, thank you Space Ice! This is the funniest channel I swear!

  • @LuciusSicarius
    @LuciusSicarius ปีที่แล้ว +30

    No better way to kick off the weekend than waking up to another Space Ice review of a Steven Seagal movie. At this point I'm just praying Seagal continues to make movies for eternity so Space Ice can keep shitting on them.

  • @joelnotsure2871
    @joelnotsure2871 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Your plot descriptions are invariably better than the actual plots.

    • @etme1000
      @etme1000 ปีที่แล้ว

      *inevitably

  • @MaesterMike
    @MaesterMike 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I absolutely love the "most relaxed car chase ever". Is that calm music actually in the film? If so, it kills me.

  • @ConSentidoComunPty
    @ConSentidoComunPty ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Seagul is so lethal, that uses doubles to not kill someone.

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hell that might've actually been true in his prime given his reputation of ignoring fight choreography and not pulling his punches

  • @Kalikinsribbit
    @Kalikinsribbit ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I just wanted to say that when I'm having a really bad depression day I tend to watch a few of your videos in a row and they really help me brighten up. I know you do this for entertainment but they really do help :) Thank you for everything you do.

    • @muskyoxes
      @muskyoxes ปีที่แล้ว +6

      If i watch three videos in a row, all my thoughts are in his cadence

    • @swervo4415
      @swervo4415 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@muskyoxes i thought i was the only one🤣

  • @kfd784
    @kfd784 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The fact that Ice refers to the guys wearing ski masks as "the good guys" just tickles my pickle.

  • @larrywest42
    @larrywest42 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    9:16 "that's definitely Seagal's trailer" - harsh ... but fair. 😅

  • @Rocko_Washington
    @Rocko_Washington ปีที่แล้ว +6

    3:34 Spaceice is a legend 😂!! .. he said he installed .. skirt mirrors 😂😂

  • @theelder4797
    @theelder4797 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Love how Stephen's movies are mega blockbuster hits, and The Rock was a small independent film 😂👍

    • @lamalama9717
      @lamalama9717 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      When 'The Rock' review first popped up I thought I'd be 'clever' by saying "mega blockbuster hit movie" before SI got to it and damn, Space Ice flipped the script. He's the boss!

    • @akawojo
      @akawojo ปีที่แล้ว

      good spot! ;-)

  • @lancehobbs8012
    @lancehobbs8012 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Hes the king of strange plot occurrences that are "never mentioned again " in the whole movie

  • @Timmeh_The_tyrant
    @Timmeh_The_tyrant ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I cry through every one of these you put out. This one is no exception. I don’t know how you do it. It’s the funniest shit on TH-cam. I was laughing so hard on this one. I started coughing my guts out.

  • @Theorigamicrane170
    @Theorigamicrane170 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I love how space ice plays the entire thing as segual being the main bad guy of the movie and it making complete sense.

  • @TheAbbot92
    @TheAbbot92 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    “MEGA blockbuster hit” is literally the be catch phrase for anything ever

  • @senseiseagal1983
    @senseiseagal1983 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You have blessed us with more Seagal wisdom. You're a true visionary mate. Love it

  • @travisdean8794
    @travisdean8794 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I often wonder if Steven is waddling around his house with a bacon cheeseburger and his phone watching these outstanding reviews knowing that the whole world is laughing at him.

    • @nathanadler1452
      @nathanadler1452 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I see him more as a shambler than a waddler. Either way, hope so.

    • @davidcarter6659
      @davidcarter6659 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Where do you think he keeps getting movie Ideas from?

    • @5points185
      @5points185 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think I read somewhere that he has a disorder where he can't recognize mockery ...of him

    • @nathanadler1452
      @nathanadler1452 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@5points185 he's never experienced people not mocking him, so how could he?

    • @5points185
      @5points185 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nathanadler1452 this is VERY TRUE!!!

  • @Jt-ms8dd
    @Jt-ms8dd ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I was waiting on this for a while 💀 I can’t get enough of master seagal

    • @BeautifulRhodeIsland
      @BeautifulRhodeIsland ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It is rumored Steven alone halted the Wagner coup with his slap skills

    • @Sammasambuddha
      @Sammasambuddha ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@@BeautifulRhodeIsland
      He told his best friend, Pootin, he'd come by to help finish the glorious job of murdering innocent Ukrainian families. Pootin started the war as a birthday gift for Seagull, after all.

    • @edgabrielocay3376
      @edgabrielocay3376 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Sammasambuddha that's syphilis.

  • @pleasedontfailusproduction1968
    @pleasedontfailusproduction1968 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love the commentary and the titles. Your a legend! 😂

  • @WCDavis-cl7si
    @WCDavis-cl7si 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The no-budget, one camera, single-take, slow motion close-ups while driving during car chases were the best part of the movie, and this review. Thank you Space Ice! Yes; I've watched this review 3 times. Bite me. And; I'm about to watch Space Ice review Absolution again. It's the Steven Seagal of Steven Seagal movies.

  • @alterego6075
    @alterego6075 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    The way he found a cowboy hat that fits over his hair hat...is pretty impressive.

    • @annferguson3113
      @annferguson3113 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hair hat..😂

    • @hydorah
      @hydorah ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Imagine all the boot polish and sharpie ink all over the inside of that cowboy hat afterwards. I also wonder did Steven's hair hat get wedged inside the 75 gallon Texas bonnet when he removed it?

  • @boozypixels
    @boozypixels ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Good to hear he's working through his license plate fetish