We are sorry to hear about your difficult marriage experience. If you’d like to talk with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT). Just give your number to the Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone. They will pass along your phone number to one of our caring Christian counselors. One of them will return your call just as soon as they’re able.
Keep on going and living. Pray more ppl have your attitude and contentment. I'm 63 and the same, although I do desire marriage. Hard to say that. If God's will, it will happen. Just keep delighting in Jesus and focusing your faith on Him. Thanks for your testimony. (Sorry if I'm inappropriate.)
Lisa Lisa the way you answered the boundary vs love question gave me an aha moment. Thanks for your insight on these topics that was grey areas for us to navigate through in relationships.
Wow, this one is really powerful! I fully intend to listen again and take notes! (Should've done that in the first place, but oh well) My wife and I have been through several couple's counseling sessions. And still, we just keep tumbling down this hill of chaos. Forget hills & spiraling. There are times when it feels like we've been in a free fall. We're now each pursuing individual counsel. There's been some emotional abuse from her and her family members. I've responded angrily in the past, but it's been acknowledged that I've been doing better for some time now. I think we've each felt like what Jim expressed: we get married and then wake up # years later and wonder how on earth did we get here? This isn't what I imagined at all. Personally, everything I thought I understood about biblical marriage has been flipped upside down. There have been times where it feels like a period of separation is in order. A couple of my immediate family members have said they would've left by now. But that would be so unhealthy for our boys (age 8 and 6). I'll do everything I can to see that they have as healthy of a family as possible. I think the biggest piece for me is what Lysa said toward the end about getting out of your own echo chamber. (combine that and the episode with Ted Lowe on changing our mindset!) Figuring out how to interrupt that has really been a challenge. We've moved to a different state lately. That will help a little bit. I have hopes now as well with the individual counseling. Thank you @focusonthefamily for all you do! Are there any episodes that discusses the boundaries of psychology and spirituality? I feel like that was touched on a little bit here. I know the lines of Christianity/spirituality and psychology/psychiatry don't always blend as well as we'd like. I ask because my wife has untreated ADHD and/or bi-polar disorder.
Thank you for sharing so openly, LCK. We’re very sorry you’re experiencing the difficulties you described in your marriage. We realize you’re hurting as you consider what to do and search for solutions. We're glad to hear you and your wife are currently in individual counseling. We’d like to lend a hand in any way we can. The first thing we want you to know is that we’ll be praying for you this week, asking our Heavenly Father to comfort you daily with evidences of His great love and compassion (Lamentations 3:22-23). Also, so that we might come alongside you in a way that addresses some of your specific questions, we strongly encourage you to call one of our counselors (at no cost to you). You may call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will arrange for a counselor to call you back. One of them will be in touch just as soon as they’re able. While not a substitute for speaking with one of our counselors, we hope these links contain information you might find helpful, as well - bit.ly/3vGMXMs, bit.ly/3tQOLSG, and bit.ly/3U50mrW. Thanks, again, for sharing. We hope you'll contact our counselors soon. Grace and peace to you, friend.
Neurodiverse counselling is required when a person has a mental health disorder like Adhd, Autism Normal counselling dosen't always work as the person thinks differently than the normal thinker Divorce rate is very high among Neurodiverse couples so the person with normal thought pattern will be the one carrying most of the burden as the other will either be oblivious or the victim
Profoundly wise words fron Lysa that hit home. Thank you FOTF that you recognize wise, learned women and that yes, they have something to also teach men. There are some big names in the evengelical world of that take Paul's words out of CONTEXT completely. BUT please can we find another word to use when referring to women (solely it seems) than that dastardly "N" word....nag!!?? And more important issues than socks on the floor; I refer to the 4 A's: abuse, adultery, addiction, abandonment.
So what I’m curious about for those of us looking to find a spouse is what’s the difference between red flags and too high of expectations? Both on ourselves and others.
The guy that said “well you married him” Yuk. This is the boomer generation still continuing to muddle up relationships. The woman is great though, coming from another woman. I’d be very curious how “happy” the boundaries were in these two men’s families for the first years.
I get where you are coming from. Being charitable, I think the point he was attempting to get across was that our spouse’s personalities can contain aspects which frustrate us, but through the commitment of our marriage covenant we should seek to find ways we can work through those things without just walking away immediately. I know and work with a lot of the “Boomer” gen (59-77 years old) and they don’t always communicate things in the most nuanced or kindest way. They can have a more abrasive vocabulary. 😅
He was playing the “devil’s advocate” which he does to give many turns to a conversation and show more points of view. This is common in a conversation
When I learned about boundaries I loved it. I couldn't believe how resistant people are when you talk about boundaries.
Me either!
She's a really gifted communicator!
I'm 45. Never been married. I am blessed and Jesus is enough for me.
Stay that way. I married a narcissistic man and I'm miserable. 4 years in and filing for divorce soon
We are sorry to hear about your difficult marriage experience.
If you’d like to talk with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT). Just give your number to the Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone. They will pass along your phone number to one of our caring Christian counselors. One of them will return your call just as soon as they’re able.
Can u connecf over zoom n whats your website @focusonthefamily
I think people married and not will be required to reach that place of Christ being enough
Keep on going and living. Pray more ppl have your attitude and contentment. I'm 63 and the same, although I do desire marriage. Hard to say that. If God's will, it will happen. Just keep delighting in Jesus and focusing your faith on Him. Thanks for your testimony. (Sorry if I'm inappropriate.)
Lisa Lisa the way you answered the boundary vs love question gave me an aha moment. Thanks for your insight on these topics that was grey areas for us to navigate through in relationships.
This was excellent information! Thank you
Fantastic and well needed interview and podcast. Thank you.
This is a great topic discussion.
Wow, this one is really powerful! I fully intend to listen again and take notes! (Should've done that in the first place, but oh well)
My wife and I have been through several couple's counseling sessions. And still, we just keep tumbling down this hill of chaos. Forget hills & spiraling. There are times when it feels like we've been in a free fall. We're now each pursuing individual counsel. There's been some emotional abuse from her and her family members. I've responded angrily in the past, but it's been acknowledged that I've been doing better for some time now.
I think we've each felt like what Jim expressed: we get married and then wake up # years later and wonder how on earth did we get here? This isn't what I imagined at all. Personally, everything I thought I understood about biblical marriage has been flipped upside down. There have been times where it feels like a period of separation is in order. A couple of my immediate family members have said they would've left by now. But that would be so unhealthy for our boys (age 8 and 6). I'll do everything I can to see that they have as healthy of a family as possible.
I think the biggest piece for me is what Lysa said toward the end about getting out of your own echo chamber. (combine that and the episode with Ted Lowe on changing our mindset!) Figuring out how to interrupt that has really been a challenge. We've moved to a different state lately. That will help a little bit. I have hopes now as well with the individual counseling.
Thank you @focusonthefamily for all you do! Are there any episodes that discusses the boundaries of psychology and spirituality? I feel like that was touched on a little bit here. I know the lines of Christianity/spirituality and psychology/psychiatry don't always blend as well as we'd like. I ask because my wife has untreated ADHD and/or bi-polar disorder.
Thank you for sharing so openly, LCK. We’re very sorry you’re experiencing the difficulties you described in your marriage. We realize you’re hurting as you consider what to do and search for solutions. We're glad to hear you and your wife are currently in individual counseling.
We’d like to lend a hand in any way we can. The first thing we want you to know is that we’ll be praying for you this week, asking our Heavenly Father to comfort you daily with evidences of His great love and compassion (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Also, so that we might come alongside you in a way that addresses some of your specific questions, we strongly encourage you to call one of our counselors (at no cost to you). You may call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will arrange for a counselor to call you back. One of them will be in touch just as soon as they’re able.
While not a substitute for speaking with one of our counselors, we hope these links contain information you might find helpful, as well - bit.ly/3vGMXMs, bit.ly/3tQOLSG, and bit.ly/3U50mrW.
Thanks, again, for sharing. We hope you'll contact our counselors soon. Grace and peace to you, friend.
Neurodiverse counselling is required when a person has a mental health disorder like Adhd, Autism
Normal counselling dosen't always work as the person thinks differently than the normal thinker
Divorce rate is very high among Neurodiverse couples so the person with normal thought pattern will be the one carrying most of the burden as the other will either be oblivious or the victim
I need this!!!
Profoundly wise words fron Lysa that hit home. Thank you FOTF that you recognize wise, learned women and that yes, they have something to also teach men. There are some big names in the evengelical world of that take Paul's words out of CONTEXT completely.
BUT please can we find another word to use when referring to women (solely it seems) than that dastardly "N" word....nag!!?? And more important issues than socks on the floor; I refer to the 4 A's: abuse, adultery, addiction, abandonment.
I am the 58th thumbs up and I am 58 years old. And I just did this a commented this on the Crazy about Jesus channel,WOW.
So what I’m curious about for those of us looking to find a spouse is what’s the difference between red flags and too high of expectations? Both on ourselves and others.
Lysa has a video on that in the Proverbs 31 Ministries channel
I want her book on Boundaries!
My boundaries were taken as a
Ultimatum
❤❤❤❤
The guy that said “well you married him”
Yuk.
This is the boomer generation still continuing to muddle up relationships.
The woman is great though, coming from another woman.
I’d be very curious how “happy” the boundaries were in these two men’s families for the first years.
I get where you are coming from. Being charitable, I think the point he was attempting to get across was that our spouse’s personalities can contain aspects which frustrate us, but through the commitment of our marriage covenant we should seek to find ways we can work through those things without just walking away immediately. I know and work with a lot of the “Boomer” gen (59-77 years old) and they don’t always communicate things in the most nuanced or kindest way. They can have a more abrasive vocabulary. 😅
He was playing the “devil’s advocate” which he does to give many turns to a conversation and show more points of view. This is common in a conversation