There's nothing offensive about this. I'm an esthetician and if a client came to me and said hey I'm transitioning and I would love for you to show me how to care for my skin and nails, I would be honored to help them. Monica, you're doing something right.
GuiltyUntillProvenSober how the fuck is this in any way shape or form sexist. If this is what some transgender or transitioning people want to be like, so be it.
GuiltyUntillProvenSober If it isn’t femininity what makes a woman a woman, what does? That’s a sincere question, because most transgender women feel like they need to go through dozens of surgeries to make their voice and body more feminine to be who they really are. If femininity isn’t what makes a woman a woman, in theory, they can just keep their bodies intact and be a masculine woman.
Nobody is saying its a tick box uniform to be a woman but fucking hell, If a trans person adds material things to help them be able to leave the house, LOVE THEMSELVES A LITTLE MORE or as mentioned 'passing' to not be verbally abused, physically abused or killed then who the fuck even cares. Under your statement if you're going to be pissed off with anybody be pissed off with women who have on nails, wear heels, makeup etc. because in theory they are the ones reinforcing that those things are visually what a woman has to have. We are all moving bags of flesh who all chose external pieces of nothing'ness to portray an image of our choice to the world.
Jay Bee so there’s exceptions, but there’s no exceptions? You actually just don’t understand, even though you think you do. It’s not all about genetic make up and chromosomes. Science knows that even if you don’t. You’re going to come back and tell me I’m an idiot or something, maybe even with a cherry picked “citation”. When it comes down to it, chromosomes can be really wildly diverse and not actually fit what we think it should. Hermaphroditism, or more correctly intersex or DSD (difference of sex development) for humans, has a large scope and isn’t a simple “both or nothing”. It’s not simple he and she, bam biology. Never has been, never will be. You can disagree, feel free. It doesn’t mean you’re right though. I don’t really understand, but at least I know enough to understand that I don’t understand.
She's not militantly telling trans people you need my service, she's like a stylist. All the people getting offended need to realize that their choice to reject hyperfeminism doesn't mean that others should simply because of it
"they dont know better". Do you hear how patronizing you sound? Say it out loud to yourself. Say it out loud about yourself. Listen to yourself and tell me that isn't belittling.
It is only evil in your eyes so the evil is already in you then you seek someone to project it on. There is a reason you are on here and i suspect perhaps you are on these sites a lot?
i agree! i see the opposite thing as a trans guy- if i wore a dress i would be shot down by other guys and trans guys. people should wear whatever empowers them!
Being shamed to express feminity if you desire to sounds even more anti-feminist in my opinion. Anyone should express their idenity however they like, whether it be traditionally based or not. Chrissie slays regardless. :)
@@saharnadi9763 Exactly. Hating on feminine expression is simply placing more value on masculine traits than feminine ones. Empowering women comes from placing value in however you express your womanhood, traditional or otherwise.
Just because someone wants to look a certain way doesn't mean they are conforming to anything. A real feminist wouldn't judge other women for looking more traditionally feminine. The consultant seems very compassionate and sweet.
A M. While I agree with some of your points I would like to express that as a trans individual it has nothing to do with being feminine or masculine that’s just the only way we can explain how dysphoria feels because it’s very strange the only way I think I can explain to you is feeling alien in your biological body it is a incurable nuerological disorder and transition is he only way to feel comfortable
A M. Look that is what most people want that’s the thing I wish I could accept my body the thing is it feels like it doesn’t belong to you at the end of the day I’m not a doctor you can believe what you want but it is a neurological disorder there is evidence of that please don’t claim to know all there is to know about it the brain is a complex super computer inside our heads there is physically no way you understand all there is to know about nuerology neither do I but there are other ways to explain dysphoria I just don’t know if you would necessarily understand then my point is I understand your point of view but try to be open minded and come into arguments/debates ready to intake information have a nice day
A M. There are so many studies for it but you clearly are not going to listen to anything I say so I genuinely can’t be bothered with you. Your acting like you know everything there is to know about the brain and culture and gender stereotypes and what’s going on in other people’s heads but you don’t. Stop preaching about all this stuff you can’t comprehend. If there is no evidence tell me why thousands of studies and brain scans say otherwise and what evidence do you have to disprove it???
A M. I’m tired of this argument I respect your opinion, the fact you have an opinion and the right to share it. All I would say is that do not state your opinion as if it is fact and you are 100% correct because it is an opinion. I will consider it an opinion until you have read every medical document regarding gender dysphoria on the internet because there is no way you have read all of them have a nice day
+Jessica M While she is teaching them about style and stuff, I think she is more importantly being someone they can rely on to be open with. I feel like its sort of a therapy thing, because for the first time these women can talk comfortably about what they think are important womanly things in their lives.
How can anyone, gay, trans or hetero, try and say that what Monica is doing is wrong? She's helping people be more confident, more themselves and giving them ways of presenting themselves so that they don't get harassed or attacked. Not many people would do that for a complete stranger but she's doing it for a goddam job! IMO she is an amazing woman
I am glad Monica is doing this,as a business perspective it's a good thing since its able to solve problems and from a perspective a person who uses the service they feel better about themselves around Monica, it's obvious she wants to help people feel better with themselves and that's admirable
People hire image consultants as well, I see this is no different. Also if you don't want to present more feminine, that's you. I think people should wear and do what makes THEM happy.
She saw a need and took advantage of it and in the process is helping people who would otherwise be clueless on what to do. I think not every trans woman wants to have multiple layers of makeup, huge wigs and suggestive clothes like what you see drag queens wearing. She took her skill and used it in a very different way that I think will bring her much success.
True. However, we do need to talk about why so many transgender (and cisgender) women equate femininity with being a woman. The lady said it herself during the video; a lot of her clients start out in super suggestive outfits that cater to masculine sexual tastes, and don't know what else to wear. Maybe we as a society could do a better job of teaching everyone that there is more to being a woman than the stereotypical, super feminine things, and make the world a safer, more comfortable place for transgender women AND less feminine cis women at the same time!
Asha Mae I am aware that her acknowledgment of the revealing/flashy clothing was brief insight into what the people she works with has in their closet. But it did sit with me for a couple of seconds. It made me sad that part of the process with transitioning (on the topic of clothing) for a few people involved "coming to terms with" objectification so quickly. Like you said, there are so many amazing ways to express femininity. I would also like to see us move from that initial direction.
Chrissie’s smile when Monica said “We’re going to get your ears pierced today” melted my heart I’m so happy for her. I think Monica is truly helping. She doesn’t force trans women to be women they don’t want to be. She will help women be whoever they truly are.
@@SR-mz8nn it's not cruel. It's a simple biological FACT. I hope that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, assigning yourself a pronoun based on what you Wish were true just doesn't make it real. Act how you want, good for you, no harm to me. But I WILL say what I believe to be true. Good for me, and really, there's no harm to you.
yeah, if you object to the service you don't seek it out and pay for it. the woman is providing for trans women that admire and want to present the stereotypical image of a woman. if you don't want to conform to that, you don't have to. this video is being overly critical.
I agree. When you grow up with the world regarding you as female you get the chance to try out being traditionally "girly", and you learn how to do all that "girly" stuff from your mom, your sisters, your friends, etc. If you were denied the opportunity to try out classic "femininity", and if it's something you want/identify with, where do you start when you're already in your 40's, for example, and want to look sophisticated?
Yeah, and that's awesome, if these people are enjoying the service she gives and she's happy giving that service then what is the fucking problem of other people? Especialy the "cis woman" part, like, a cis woman is probably someone who knows very well how to be feminine, that's like complaining about you gyno being female.
@@Justhppy2behere Well, no, not technically. Their chromosomes are still male. However, if they've gone through surgery and now have female parts, it's absolutely acceptable to want to be addressed and identify as a woman, and they should be. I would absolutely consider them a woman by society's standards. But, if you want to get scientific and technical, no, they are not a *REAL* woman.
If you can answer one question why is it that people like you say this is wrong,?!okay Then y watch videos like this!😵! like in the search for gold😂like me I don't like rock music so why in the world would I search for it watch the whole video then judge it...🍻👀if I don't like rock music💁😘its stupid lol
I can't imagine not being able to express who you are for 65 years, and once it begins, it has to be scary. That she's able to be a safe place for someone like Cristen really is amazing.
Surprisingly unscary; indeed, so much less difficult than wearing a mask. But Monica completely rules...and this video barely scratches the surface of how valuable her advice has been.
I live in a small town and I'm very open about understanding and correcting transphobe as I'm mtf. But I sometimes wanna go to school without being called "that trans girl who always is in the gsa(gender sexuality alliance) presentations
I think what Monica is doing is good work. Especially for older trans women. They’re targets for harassment. If they want to blend in, who is to say they shouldn’t be allowed? Who they are as a person should be what people notice, not if they’re trans. I don’t know why anyone would have a problem with what she does.
Agreed, the lawyer clearly expressed her desire to look professional and not be a "distraction" which to me empowered her to move forward as her authentic self. Monica didn't overly feminize her, she styled her to quite a modern and simple look.
Let’s be real here as a cis female I went through all this as teenager I learnt how to do my hair and makeup and how to pick out clothes for my body type, this is really just people who didn’t have that opportunity at that age doing those things and she is just like a Mum/ sister figure
Some of us women even took until our mid thirties to find our style :) the 90s fashions did not suit my body type lol it took 50s fashion to start coming back into style 10 years ago for me to find the style that doesn’t make me look like a sack of potatoes. Now I’m 45 I’m only just learning how to do make up. 90s make up again wasn’t the best time to learn! Maybe one day I’ll learn to walk in heels, damn you doc martins! (Eh, screw heels, I’m too old for that one!) ;)
That true I’m still learning... growing up with my grandmother whose not into fashion little bit odd being a retire seamstress and a mother whose a hairdresser.. I didn’t learn how to do my own make up and neither choosing a right clothes for a occasion I’m more comfy
@@janinebasil Your pic is beautiful. Too old for heels!!! Nope!!! That feeling of slipping on heels is so yummy. Shop and find a pair of quality shoes. My brands are Weitzman, Jessica Simpson, Micheal Kors, Carlos Santana, BCBG, I just bought Fergilicious, and a Michael I can't remember. These fit my foot and are sturdy. I'm curvy. I'm large chested. You gotta balance more as a buxom lady. Always have comfy flats or sneakers in the car. Beauty is not pain...just fun. Well good luck and hugs. Keep being your beautiful self.🌹
This isn't just a 'to be a female you need to be x,y,z,' it's an empowerment of women who were denied it as they grew up. Monica saw that these people were struggling to feel comfortable in society so she created a safe and open space where she could help them. Any body is allowed to dress however they want, these women want to dress to society's standard of feminine and she is just there to help them with that.
illuminatisdf Idk if your comment is aimed at me but I might as well reply. I don't believe everything that defines a 'woman' should be the definition of a woman (i.e. the need to wear makeup, woman are weaker, skirts being mandatory in work environments). But as some people like to be loud and queer, there are likely many trans people who don't want to be the stereotypical dyed hair, androgynous look of the trans community that you see at pride. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fit in to everyday life. Having a choice does not mean you should be different, but you are allowed to be different. Similar to Hijab debates; if a girl wishes to wear a hijab (or something similar which I don't know the names of), that she should be able to, it's not right when a girl is forced to wear it despite what she wants. These woman have a choice, and they chose to blend in with society, and I don't think them wanting it that way is wrong.
illuminatisdf How degrading of you to women to tell them how to dress! Trans women can't get a break, either they're not passing enough to feel like their gender, or they're too much of that gender! What about cis women who fit into these stereotypes? There's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is rejecting people and invalidating them.
@Fliss098 idt id characterize it as the extreme left unless you mean the leftism in the era of mao zedong, "the four olds", and how femininity was punished as it became a scapegoat for bourgeois affectation. But that ends up just being regular old misogyny which exists in every political sphere and every aspect of social modernity (of globalized societies at least).
She is very positive and affirming towards her clients who are not yet full time presenting as female. She uses the correct pronouns and seems very supportive. I’m a transgender man and initially this could seem transphobic but this is about people getting the guidance they are seeking.
I love how the consultant consistently asks the clients how they feel. Her goal isn't nails and dresses and 50's pinups, it's bringing comfort and knowledge to those who may not have had access to all the information.
The interviewer is being overbearing. She focuses so much on her own ideals and forces them onto scenarios that have nothing to do with it. Monica is giving advice and tips, not forcing them. It just seems like she's expanding their minds by vocalizing her own feminine thoughts for them to build off of, and it clearly makes them so happy. It warms my heart really. It's true that there's no way to truely be feminine, but there's definitely a base for it, and we as cis woman grow up with that base without thinking too hard about it and build off of it to form our "femininity" but these trans women don't. She's just giving them a place to start because they're feeling a little frazzled and confused, and I'm sure it takes a load off for them and makes them feel like it's a bit easier to live life.
Couldn't agree more! Sometime most of us were only really close to our mothers, sisters, girlfriends or cousins but didn't have the place to build ourselves as women. While almost everyone was expecting and investing on you to become a man, so it's like trying get out of that skin (or should I say dress) people built on you.
its really funny how monica and the kristen were so comfortable and understanding of each other but the reporter was so annoyed and judgy lmfao some people want to be feminine and theres nothing wrong with that
@Kasey I am not one, however, IMO feminists simply want women to be viewed as "strong", capable and competent regardless of their physical aesthetic or fashion choices. I really do not think it has anything at all do with them exuding "masculine" traits - instead they opt to take complete control of their lives and seek equal opportunity, equitable pay, fair treatment, non-biases, etc. In no sense are these merely "masculine" desires or traits. (And I am a woman of color)
@@sheldeon What those particular feminists don't realize is that I can be strong, capable, independent WHILE being feminine. A lot of those feminists like you said want to be seen as strong etc. but in the same breath shame women who unapologetically want to be feminine.
@@velvetstorm4563 So can I. My point is people need to STOP attributing the term "masculine " traits to a woman who is merely handling her business and just living her own best life, no matter what she interprets that to be/look like.
This lady is a saint. I know how she feels. I'm trans Male and I've given my trans female friends advice on how to be more feminine, wear makeup, etc. In turn they help me with being more masculine. It's just what we as trans people do.
I wish I had an older sister teach me... my mom never really taught me to do what most mothers/sisters teach their daughter or younger sister.. like braiding or makeup..
Ninny Nina makeup, fashion and heels are not 'feminine'. Creating and nurturing life is FEMININE. What you speak of corporate marketing strategies to get women to purchase shit in order to qualify as a 'woman'.
For trans women, "passing" isn't just some random choice they have. It is often literally a life or death situation. If a woman wants this service, don't you dare shame them for it. This woman and the people who come to her deserve none of your garbage. They are exactly who they are. They do not need to apologize for being themselves. Smh... Transwoman get shit on for not being feminine enough and then when they try to be more feminine by going to someonme like this stylist they get shit on for caring what others think of them.
The reporter acts as though just because she doesn't like being feminine means that no other women are allowed to be feminine. She's a really downer in an otherwise uplifting video.
I agree. I agree that gender and femininity/masculinity is a spectrum and it’s sad someone has to conform to these societal standards but that’s the way it is. In today’s day and age, if you don’t conform to these standards of femininity set by society you run the risk of being violated or even killed. This is why trans deaths are so high. I think the cis-gendered reporter needs to realize that these trans people are trying to be more feminine so they aren’t being separated or left out from the conversation of being a woman. They should’ve had a trans reporter instead of a cis-gendered reporter in my opinion.
I mean, I love wearing dresses and love many "girly" things, but I also like many typically "boyish" things like rock climbing, video games and comics. Everyone can be different and to be honest, gender isn't a binary and the same counts for gender expression or rather the way you want to express yourself.
This reporter is obnoxious. These people aren't being forced to come to this woman - they are seeking her out! As a cis female my makeup was trash when I was growing up (blue eyeliner and gold glitter erryday) but I had my entire youth living as a woman to experiment with my look, hone my styling skills, and get advice from the women around me. This woman is offering a similar (although expedited) experience for these trans women to learn what they weren't able to explore in their youth.
Not going to lie it's really hard to take you seriously when your name is "Ice Cream Lover". How exactly is anyone infringing on your rights by being trans? Also, by saying you let "you guys have rights"- are you talking about women? Because I'm a biological woman (not that it should matter). It seems like your reading cognition is pretty poor.
@@MsBunhead What does my account name have do with it? It's wrong to be trans because it's not your biological gender. I was born a female and that's what I am. You can't change DNA or gender, learn biology. Second, it DOES infringement on our rights. If a person didn't believe in trans cause of their religious beliefs, they are forced to violate their religious beliefs to accommodate them. See how messed up it is?
Ice Cream Lover so you expect a person to live their entire lives an unhappy lie to circumvent your religious beliefs and feewings? what privilege. you don’t force someone to do what slowly kills them just because you don’t approve. move on, because what’s a detail to you is someone’s entire life. and yeah, “accommodate” them by letting them live, since they’re HUMAN, like everyone else. Ps- there’s no such thing as “believing in trans.” some people have gender dysphoria. that’s facts. you clearly have a misunderstanding about rights, too.
Ice Cream, how exactly does your right to be Christian, trump a Trans Persons rights? As a Christian, I have the right to chose to be or not be a Christian. Trans people and gay people didn't get the right to chose to be gay or trans, that choice was made for them. See how messed up that is?
@@tobflipped It takes our rights away cause if you're like that, people who don't support it cause of religious beliefs would be forced to take a part in it. Like the baker forced to make a gay wedding cake for gay couple or the Christian woman forced to call trans man a boy. It's against their religion. It gay.
I actually like what she is doing and I think it's just misunderstood. She's being like a stylist/girlfriend. If you hire a stylist you look for one who vibes with your style. I think Monica has a lot of clients like the lawyer. She wants a very classic NORDSTROM look. Femininity has many styles, this is just theirs. I think sometimes when we are so focused on being the wokest feminist in the room we count some women out. She's making the lives of some women brighter while not knocking others down in the process.
I see a lot of (especially the ones who transition at an older age) trans women go through the awkward stages of fashion that most girls go through in middle school - I would probably consider Monica more a fashion coach than anything. If a trans woman's goal is to not attract extra harassment, why should this service be demonized? The reporter is missing the point by inserting her own opinions on femininity over the the wants of these individual trans women.
I couldn’t believe how the reporter missed the HUGE issue of SAFETY! If you “pass,” you are going to not only feel safer, but actually be safer. How can she be so judgmental? She is giving these woman the tools to present themselves how they want to look!! I can’t imagine going through that gawky teen fashion phase in my 30s.
A M. Trans women are absolutely safer if they are passing as the gender they choose to present. I am not saying being a woman is inherently safe, but trans women (and men!)have it 10x harder than we cis women do. For example, we can go into the bathroom with the gender we identify as. Trans men are risking assault if they aren’t passing. Trans females have hate crimes perpetrated against them all the time! We are talking about a compound issue here. These women are not only as subject to sexual harassment and assault as a cis woman, they risk being a victim of a hate crime. They risk being targeted for being trans. I am personally lucky to live somewhere that behavior isn’t tolerated, but most trans people are risking their personal safety going out in public if they don’t look like one gender or another.
A M. It is absolutely safer to appear to conform to one gender or another period. I’m literally stating a fact. Problematic? Sure. Doesn’t make it untrue. I don’t know why you believe otherwise. I’m obviously not gonna convince you but whatever.
She has a dream job. She gets to make people feel good about themselves. It's SO much more than the make up and just becoming feminine. They are paying to feel accepted, to feel like their real self matches their ideal self. It's a beautiful thing. I'd do it for free on the side if I knew anyone who wanted that kind of help.
The reporter telling women that there's something wrong in being overtly feminine or wanting to look like a 50's housewife is the exact opposite of what a feminist should be saying. Feminism should be about empowering women/transwoman to be able to be whoever they want to be, to dress however they want. There's nothing wrong with wearing a dress and heels but there's something wrong with telling someone that they shouldn't wear what makes them happy because they are dressing to societies standards which somehow oppresses them? How about we let people make their own decisions and stop telling people what they need to wear and how they need to act. Let people live.
She's providing a Trans specific service to Trans people. What's this interviewers problem with people expressing their femininity in different ways. It isn't a dirty thing to enjoy being pretty and wearing nice things.. and I'm fairly tomboyish lol.
It's so bizarre to me that all of these liberal people they interviewed are acting like there's something wrong with what she's doing. Seriously, these people are paying her for a service - to help them learn fashion, makeup, and presentation as feminine, and she's helping them to do that, and clearly doing a very good job of it. How on earth can someone have a problem with this? Let people live their lives, sheesh
I'm liberal and I love this. She's making them feel more comfortable in expressing who they are. Everyone experiments in how they present themselves and how they define themselves, living your life in the wrong gender robs a lot of trans people of the opportunity to be comfortable in who they are. Left, right or middle some people just live to be negative.
Ya i dont get the YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME, BUT THIS BITCH OVER HERE shit i dont get. They want everybody to listen to them and not pass any judgement but then in turn are the cringy-ist judgemental people. Isn't the whole idea to be who THEY want to be and live THEIR life the way their comfortable? Keep it up she's providing a great service.
Oh for God's sake. How can you misinterpret it THIS MUCH? What people are initially skeptical of is the idea that a cis-woman is somehow needed to validate trans women. And I totally get that - it's a fair fucking position to have. Trans women don't need anyone but themselves to validatestheir own selves, obviously. And that's the whole point of this episode. To explore it more. Because at surface level, it can seem a bit iffy. But seeing the episode, it did make sense to me and I am sure many others. That's why those critical people were put in the BEGINNING of the episode, btw. To show that there are deeper, underlying reasons why Monica might exist. To try and paint them as bad or stupid is completely missing the mark - and you are the one who ends up looking stupid.
@@smaakaker You know when I first heard in the video that there is this person who has a job that helps trans become more feminine it really confused me. I was like if they are women inside already why would they need help with that. But after watching this video it really makes sense. There is more to expressing yourself as a female with fashion than you realize. Not all trends compliment your physique and you adjust accordingly but transitioning late in life you miss all those moments of adjusting your style (and that is just one small aspect). Her role/job kind of reminds me of the daughter mother dynamic when lets say I see my mom wearing something embarrassing and I have to let her know as my daughterly duty lol. Even as women we can miss the mark let alone someone who has been posing as a man most of their life.
Michelle's interventions in this video got too repetitive. WE GET IT, you disagree with femininity standards, let trans people be happy and feel good in their own skin for a moment and let them discover how much they want to conform to these standards, it's not like they're not making an informed decision if they're already hiring a stylist to help them in the first place.
Her ideas are being rushed I prefer to have her see this and understand that feminity isn't patronizing than have someone who agrees with the consultant. If she is judging that is another story
beatlebabe1969 I noticed that, too. Her personality came out in such a lovely way when she was in the pretty clothes and makeup. She felt pretty and that was a joy to witness. ⭐⭐⭐
I really don't understand why people would get their panties in a twist about this. This woman is helping transgender women achieve their own individual feminine style and raising their confidence. Plenty of cis women ask other cis and trans women about style and makeup ALL THE TIME! One huge example would be makeup tutorials.
HI, a transwoman is not a transvestie men. You defined what transvesties & transqueers do. A transsexual woman is a woman, and transsexual is not her identity, is her medical status. You like to use the term transwoman for transvestites and ''drags'', ok, that's what gay men do all the time.
Verónica Darrell These women seemed happy to have someone coach them along and help them. Many people hire life coaches for a variety of things. These women seemed very happy for her service.
The reporter's attitude really upsets me. As cis women, we're never gonna understand the amount of dysphoria that can come with being trans; of course, we can openly reject hyper-femininity and "conformity", because society will always accept us as women. For a trans woman, however, they don't get the traditional feminine childhood cis women have; they aren't encouraged to embrace their womanhood and they certainly weren't taught how to wear makeup and heels as we were. Sure, feminism is about breaking gender roles and rebelling against societal views of women, but it's core foundation is about embracing ALL women, even the ones who DO like to present as very feminine. It's about finding your own definition of womanhood and femininity, not outright rejecting it. Her rhetoric is dangerously similar to the mindset of "not being like other girls" and suggests that femininity is a bad thing.
You must not have watched the entire video.. or have selective hearing. But the end she was accepting. You should try being more accepting of different viewpoints yourself. And yes in Trans
It's strange to me that you would say "society will always accept us as women". Perhaps you are a naturally 'feminine' appearing woman, but most cis women know that the closer your appearance is to masculine, the more dangerous & harder your life will be. I mean, all you have to do is read the comments on an Ellen video or Amy Schumer video. They're both women, but the comments are full of insults denigrating them for being men or ugly or not real women. Any woman who won't or can't conform to gender stereotypes faces harassment & discrimination. If you doubt that, stop shaving your armpits & legs for a couple of months, & then go out to a bar in a sleeveless dress & no makeup. Womanhood & femininity are two very different things. We are socialized to believe it's somehow 'natural' for women to undergo plastic surgery or spend hours every day on our appearance, all in the cause of 'femininity'. But that's not 'natural', that's a culture that enforces rigid gender standards on us from the moment we take our first breath.
The reporter has such a distorted idea of what feminism is nowadays. (As do most people, unfortunately). She speaks as if dressing in a sexy polkadot dress and heels, baking cookies, or wearing pink eyeshadow and lipstick are things women do/ have done in the past for the sole purpose of pleasing men. And that is just not true. If a woman feels confident and comfortable styling herself in a way that is perceived as “stereotypical” (housewife, barbie doll, etc.) it does not need to mean she does this for any other reason than to please herself. For someone to assume that dressing in a very “feminine” way is automatically associated with men or sexism, is very wrong. The problem does not lay within the women who choose to be “stereotypical.” The problem lays within the people who associate these traits with “women trying to please men.” If a woman is happiest when she looks like a barbie doll, it is not your place to tell her that she is only doing so for the sake of men. She is doing so for HERSELF, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with a woman dressing herself in things that are considered “masculine” or “tomboy- ish.” The way women dress should not be associated with men, as long as the women are happy this way. For the most part, I feel that as a society we have made some progress regarding the whole “how women should act” bullshit. Nowadays (not completely), nobody is mean to a girl who likes “masculine” things, nobody tries to tell a little girl that she cannot skateboard or play football, this is because people are letting go of the “women and men should both act a certain way” narrative. (As I said, not completely). We cannot forget that it goes both ways, though. It is ok for a girl to act or dress “masculine” and it is also ok for a girl to act or dress “feminine.” This is because neither of those words have much meaning anymore, you should be able to like whatever you like (as a man or a woman) and not be told it is wrong, or that it is just a way of trying to please the other gender. Today, real feminism means letting women dress or act in whatever manner that makes them feel happiest, most confident, and most comfortable. And it should never be/ has never originally been for any other reason.
Thanks for this! I'm a femmey lesbian, so if I have an opportunity to get all glammed up, I take it -- and it's obviously not to please men! My girlfriend often tells me that she likes me better without all the makeup, so it's not even for her either...it's for me!
Thank you, being cis female and femme is definitely not only dressing to please men! Corsetry and waist-training have always been my passions, it's about molding and shaping and feeling safe and expressing my artistic vision. all my life, the people complimenting me most are women of all genders and I love them all.
A cisgender woman is the perfect person to consult them. There is such a thing as feminine/feminine looking. This is a perfect service and anyone has a choice to go to it, it's not forced. You have to be a negative person to not want this to exist and actually help people. You're not helping at all, you're just complaining and making things worse.
ok I know she gets paid but she honestly is such a sweet and caring girl to her clients. so genuine. not a snob or anything, just a genuine girl. good on her.
Monica seems like an insightful, intelligent person who recognizes that there’s a need for a service that exists for many trans people, one that she’s very good at providing. And yes, she’s aware of privileges and objectification of women. While she is criticized for being a cis woman being a consultant for trans women on traditionally feminine things, the trans women that seek her consultation never had the privilege that her critics had of having coaches in fashion and makeup skills like they did growing up. They value Monica’s services, and Monica is helping them overcome their dysmorphia. To me, the interviewer and others like her come across as the judgy ones, while Monica actively works to provide a safe space for trans people to explore becoming their ideal selves.
I don't see anything wrong with this, cisgender women ask other cisgender women ALL THE TIME on how to do certain makeup, or what they should wear when they goto a party, or WHATEVER. These women want to look in a traditionally really feminine way and they don't know how to do it because that's not how they were raised/brought up in the world. They always felt they were a woman but they were treated like men. They didn't grow up doing their makeup with their mom or hanging with girls at sleepovers, doing all that kind of stuff that a lot of girls do when they're young. Knowing how to do all that girly stuff comes with years of experience, so if you take this older female attorney client, she needs someone to teach her how to do these really traditionally feminine things in a shorter amount of time to make up for all the years she didn't get to learn these things. At the end of the day, these are women who are making their own choice to how they want to be as a woman, it just so happens they want to be the women in high heels and dresses and they need help.
Zechariah Cameron To your point, do you know what a Francofile is? It's a person who loves French culture. Francofiles exist worldwide, and it's not uncommon to identify with another culture or even another era to the extent that people conform to that style of dress, language, read books or watch film from that culture or from that time period, go to museums, travel to, collect, etc. Cultural comparison is a good one, but it's not as personal as gender identity. A person doesn't feel they their body is their own- until they finally transition.
Zechariah Cameron I don't think you are being hateful, I think you don't understand, the situation. You have not said anything mean. Carl Jung one of the first psychologist theorized there is a woman in every man and a man in every woman. When you express your gender , weather it match your body or not , you are expressing something that is inherently yours to express. If , I say I am Asian , when let's say I am Italian, I would be making a far greater stretch then a person expressing their gender , whichever gender they express. Nevertheless , I would not call myself crazy , if I expressed Asian when I am Italian , after all we were all the same not very long ago. Certainly , there are people that love Japanese food and are not Japanese , not so crazy to say many of us have some "Japanese " in us. We express it when we die over our favorite sushii place. Winks Lisa
I think this woman is doing something interesting, she’s helping people become what they want to become. I don’t know why people would dislike this. Some trans women do want to become hyper feminine, and they don’t know how to do it. She’s helping people with their disphoria.
if they are just naturally "real women on the inside" then they shouldn't have to be taught things. It should just come to them naturally the way it comes to other females. No one had to teach me how to walk in heels or carry myself.
@@izzybizzy3030 I'm a cis woman and I had to learn how to do makeup to create the appearance that I want, appropriate styling for different situations, etc. I wasn't born knowing how to do that.
IZzy Bizzy bitch you think I knew how to dress up nicely when I was younger? No, I spent hours watching TH-cam tutorials on how to dress nicely for yourself lmao. It’s not like that you’re taught how to dress nicely, I wore ugly shorts that went more than half way down thighs and fuckinh kapris who the fuck wears kapris??? And yes I’m born a girl if you’re asking. That girl is 65, she’s grown up learning how to dress like a man not a woman why would she know how to dress as a girl?
This video makes me so sad. Not because of the topic but because of the reporter that is just tearing all these lovely people down. The consultant is so nice and I have great respect for her work. Please stop making 'more feminine' people feel like femininity is a bad thing. Equal rights and feministic ideas are about having the right to make your own decisions also if this means wanting to look more like a 'traditional' feminine women. Please let people live and do not make them feel bad for helping others just because you feel like it's not modern enough.
Agreed. Have you watched Katya Zamolodchikova's videos on this subject? She'll wear a frilly antique dress with comfy sneakers or boots, challenging anyone in the drag community to define femininity for her. Now she's a fashion icon and totally supports everyone's right to choose how to express their unique qualities. She's a joy to watch!
this so much, but it also makes me sad because these clients of hers are so old and they're just now getting the chance to express themselves and be comfortable. it makes me so frustrated for all the repression and acting they had to do their whole life.
What exactly is wrong with doing “traditionally feminine” things? There is nothing wrong with baking cookies or wearing heels. If that’s what you choose, more power to you. If you choose otherwise, more power to you too.
the idiotic, misogynistic host is just a modern reincarnation of the white, patriarchal men of the 50's; demonising women for their choices in an effort to take their autonomy and ability to choose away so they conform to the ideals of others
@A M. I understand what you're saying however the world in which you wished was reality is not the world we live in, men and women will never be an homogenous entity and this is not because of the desires of men being enforced upon women but rather because of the natural divergence of inclinations manifesting in different forms, femininity will always look like femininity, masculinity will always look like masculinity, testosterone and oestrogen have real, biological effects on both the body and mind and their differing manifestations present as complimentary equals and not homogenous equals, if as a woman you wish to veer off from this than that is your prerogative and makes you no less of a woman, femininity is not essential to womanhood, however it would make sense a man wishing to pass as a woman would try to adopt feminine qualities, whether they are feminine by essence or their historical association, since femininity often correlates with, and denotes womanhood, the host is implying that to adopt feminine qualities makes you less than, which is to imply feminine qualities and their manifestations are inferior by design- a very misogynistic assertion indeed, where society has gone wrong is by endowing otherwise neutral behaviours as masculine or feminine but this is not to say that feminine and masculine behaviours don't exist at all
@A M. nothing about my comment is confused; femininity can be both innate and cultural and need not be definitively one at the exclusion of the other, they are not mutually exclusive. I find it confusing you seem to be asserting that femininity does not denote womanhood, in fact at the risk of sounding frank, I find it quite absurd- if you acknowledge that men and women are different, then it stands to reason that there are specific qualities unique to each that demonstrate their separate nature from one another. Of course a man simply acting feminine does not make him a woman, and to reduce the transitional journey down to such simplistic measures is entirely reductive, whether or not one views a trans woman as a 'true woman' or not is up to individual discernment, of course there will always stand the biological difference however once the transitional journey is complete trans women do appear to be entirely female, at least on the surface, but I think its important to note that most trans women consider themselves to be 'trans women' and not 'women' anyway, and again, to reduce the trans experience down to simply "identifying with the trappings of femininity" is reductive at best and conveys an ignorance of the trans experience in its entirety. I also find it odd you seem to claim that femininity itself is not the problem whilst also denoting it as 'the trappings of femininity' in the same breath, this appears to me to be an insincere inconsistency of logic, and to claim that because one may wish to subscribe to traditional ideals of femininity that they are communicating all women must do so or risk forfeiting their womanly status is utterly ridiculous, so must women do everything in their power to not appear feminine or risk being branded as a victim of sexist stereotypes? ridiculous, that is like saying by identifying as straight you are communicating that all people must be straight too, and that to be anything but straight makes you less of a human- it is a logical fallacy. the reporter quite evidently has an issue and is deeply uncomfortable with any expressions that could be construed as feminine, that to embody femininity is instead disempowering rather than empowering, and if femininity functions to disempower its subject then you can't in good faith continue to posit that she does not see a problem with femininity itself
I mean it is absolutely weird. I mean, you can like girly things and boyish things at the same time. I love wearing dresses, but I also love playing video games. It's not a binary. You can express yourself and be who you are, but don't judge others for the same thing.
This woman makes these trans people feel good about themselves and is helping them to transition and I think thats really great . they all seem genuinely happy with her help and thats all that matters. These trans people have someone to go to and feel accepted and supported for who they truly are. And I think thats what matters most
I would compare Monica as a feminine fairy godmother figure. Acting like a mother figure, she guides the women who come to her and helps the women find themselves. Leading to more confident women !
“a cis woman can’t help a trans woman” is about as thoughtful a comment as “a coach can’t help a player if they haven’t been a player themselves” it’s inane.
Yes! Its not like she forces anyone to do anything. Those people go to her and thats their choice. Butthurt people just need to calm down and mind their own business.
I think it’s sweet. She’s just a makeup and fashion consultant who specializes in helping people just beginning to explore a new side. Don’t hate, she isn’t saying people need to see her. She’s helping trans people who want to look more feminine do that.
@@TheSweetForever who to say they dont? Or a grandfather or male father figure for that matter? Go figure out ur daddy issues that gave rise to ur ugly, damaged, crusty diseased heart
gospelevans you sound like you have an ugly heart here. Go figure out whatever issues you have that make you such a bitch. This person said nothing rude and was being nothing but empathetic.
@@ertfgghhhh you're really being quite critical for no reason. there are plenty of possible reasons for someone to not have a dad or a father figure they can speak to about it. maybe they're older like the first client, so any father figure would have likely passed away already. maybe they're still closeted, so they can't ask the individuals they view as a father figure. maybe the men in their lives are transphobic and refuse to interact with them for these things. the list goes on. no need to be rude.
I think the journalist takes her already feminine features for granted. She doesn’t realize how lucky she is to be able to be seen as feminine despite maybe not being a traditional feminine woman. This is something older trans women sometimes can’t relate to at all and she just doesn’t get it
Or women who arent in an art or cutting edge or 'creative' hot hip profession say... say women who's client base are stodgy ir middle aged... there are so many many reasons being able to successfully gracefully confidently put together a whole cohesive look with mastery and finesses and ease can be empowering and spectacularly improve daily quality of life !
Monica is great. This reporter is the one that has some problems, in my opinion. Let women dress the way they want to dress without shaming them. Monica and her clients feel good wearing the clothes they do, fitting into the traditional archetype. This reporter feels good rejecting the archetype. The reporter talks like she feels above those who do fit into the archetype, and she isn't. Just let women feel good in clothes they feel good in.
That was the side point of this video; broaden her perspective. She came in with a certain preconceived idea of what the situation was and by the end, she saw that certain people were happy with a life-style she personally does not like. She saw the good that was done to these women. The whole point was to show her and us things we might have preconceived notions about, and challenging them. You did not see the reporter make fun of the consultant nor the clients by the end.
YES! It's also a form of empowerment to feel good with all the cliché feminine things/styles/looks... I have friends that love to put glitter-nailpolish on, but they don't let man give them shit and they don't do anything style-wise for men, they do it for themselves. This wanna-be-woke woman just has a lot of prejudices herself.
I know! Especially when the girl called the reporter a goddess, right after that same reporter had sneered at her femininity and basically called her fake. The designer is an angel.
I notice watching this how often Monica says things like "how do you feel" and "is this comfortable?" Then offers reassurances-- "this is really cute" "you look hunky in the shoulders"-- it really shows the connection between internal feeling and external presentation, with the inside being the guiding force for the outside.
dimeface yeah I'm a bit confused as to how it is a problem, when she is literally just helping people achieve their desired look, even if she is cis! I feel like being a cis woman would make her advice more genuine. Idk why the women in the beginning are mad about it
Honestly people are just trying to make a problem out of anything and everything. If a trans woman wants to be really feminine then let them, I don't see the problem with a cis woman being sort of a guide or a "coach"
the people in the beginning of the vid who had a problem with her job aren't even trans women (dmab), so they really shouldn't even be passing judgement on it. it's not their call.
I work in a shoe shop and one of my favourite customers is trans. The first day I met her, she had had a super rough day being misgendered and embarrassed. As soon as she and her girlfriend asked for help I immediately addressed her and said "How can I help you lovely ladies today?" She lit up. From then on she'll only shop there if she sees I'm on shift
You shouldn't make a female feel bad for wanting to be feminine. The whole point is being able to be whoever the hell you want to be. If she wants to be feminine and do her make up and hair, LET HER!!! Just as much if someone wants to where supposed "male" clothing, LET THEM. The whole point is there being no judgemental notions whatsoever.
nowadays it seem like when you tell a female that being feminine is okay, people get offended. I mean as human being we function with concept without concept we can't communicate....
Her teaching isn't prescriptive, it's accommodating and personally relevant. It's really sweet. I'm non-binary, and I could appreciate that she's showing people a range of ways to be high femme.
wouldn't wanna use high femme like that if i were you... it's a lesbian identity that describes how you have sex (high) and how you subvert femininity by performing it for only other women (femme). i understand what you are trying to say, but you're grossly misusing an identity with a long history and great importance in the lesbian community.
latina[]VEGAN[]gal nope! femme is French for woman or wife. please don’t spread misinformation just so you can try to invalidate my argument. there is no such thing as being “high woman/wife”, so this comment did misuse ‘high femme’.
@@jenjen2239 calm down nobady is trying to "invalidate" your comment ive never heard femme was for sex ive only been told im femme because im feminine who likes masculine women and i looked it up in the past and have seen femme also means feminine lesbian (has been used by my friends) never tried to "invalidate" the person who commented never meant any harm or to trigger you, neither did i.Also ive heard people use the word fem as a short for feminine
They're right!!!?? How would a natural-born female know _AnYtHiNg_ about what living as a woman is like... I'll remember this next time I get my kidney transplant at my local bowling alley
I really take issue with the interviewer criticizing this woman for being "something out of a rom com." How can you call yourself a feminist and then criticize a woman who wants to express herself by wearing makeup, heels etc. AND is helping non gender conforming people to achieve the image they want? Who is the open minded person here?
Tbh I thought this was gonna be really transphobic and shit but I actually really like the woman who’s doing her job and the men and women she’s helping. I also thought it was really funny that two siblings both came out as trans at the same time like I think that’s adorable and awesome that they understand each other can can confide in each other. It’s really sweet
cullrapists Why would a sexist man choose to be the gender he hates and become an outcast in society? Take a step back and stop spamming the comments with your bs.
I'm a cis woman and I consider myself feminine & a feminist; I think the consultant is doing a wonderful job helping her clients and the lady attorney looks great an professional.
+Ord Grill If you consider yourself a feminist you must either not well enough informed or a sexist man hater.Feminism is absolutely not needed in U.S. anymore.And even if it was it doesn't stand for equal rights,not anymore.It stands for female superiority,which is sexist and unoforgivable. Such movements have no place in today's world and should be eradicated.BLM and feminism are cancer to the world.
@@yikesman72 I don't disagree with that, but I believe this is channel that is independent and does not have to follow yhe protocol of mainstream news. Besides that, her biases created an interesting final product, I think.
Jake Dean The more people supporting something the stronger it makes the cause don’t “need” allies but there wonderful and helpful people who want to support that’s what allies are.
They’re just people like you and me they just live and think differently. They have just as much to offer the world as you and I do. These people are fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers and they are all sons and daughters of someone. They are farmers, storekeepers, soldiers and doctors they are just people like you and myself. They are good and they also have bad ones just like the circles you and I run with. They’re just people and they deserve to be happy in whatever way they can be that’s true to themeselves so long as it isn’t inflicting negative impacts on the people in their lives. When I was sworn in I took an oath to protect and defend the constitution from enemies both foreign and domestic and that counts for the entire country not just a small portion of it. Granted I was kicked out from getting put on probation at a really young age when I first joined but that oath I took didn’t make a difference. People are just people and in my eyes they all matter regardless of ideals and beliefs.
it really is not feminist to bash women who enjoy "traditional" femininity. feminism is about understanding and supporting a wide range of experiences, wants ,and needs!
I have learnt something from this video. Be more like Monica, be less like Michelle. Because at the end of the day most trans people doesn't wanted to be treated 'special' because they're trans, they just want to be part of the society aka blending in. If Monica able to do that, then why are you should be judging her???????
As a trans man I always want to dress and look so stereotypically masculine so no one can read me, no one can tell. I think what she's doing is incredibly important
i totally agree with the last person at the start - if this is what they want, then it should absolutely be alright! if you want to be super 'traditionally feminine' then why the fuck would this not be okay? i love how she acts with her clients and Kristen is such a gorgeous soul - this is super lovely, plus, sure _michelle_ doesn't personally want to conform to society but for a trans woman who's maybe getting on a little, so what if she wants to become the ideal kind of femininity that she was brought up on? i say live and let live, this is a great idea for some and not so much for others, and that's how most things are.
Lollipop Lou I agree with you! I have often wondered if such services were available to Trans Women, and I am so glad to know that this gal is helping the women who want to be more feminine to become that way! Everyone, needs a little help at some time , so why should trans women be any different? I am sure it can be very scary for these gals , who have waited to be female , to find a way to present in the way they have dreamed of. Soooo, if there are folks out there that want a little help in realizing that goal, it is an wonderful to take advantage of the opportunity. A dear friend of mine from HS transitioned last year.... I have seen pics of her and her other trans friends, and they all can definitely can use a bit of tweaking here and there, since they are new to this... Any woman would want to go to a makeup artist or stylist to find the right colors, hairstyles, and clothing that would work for her, trans or not.... I think this is just such a great and compassionate service to offer to trans women!
They ACT like stereotype pink pink pink versus blue " females". Caused by the extreme old fashioned fifties tradition of pink versus blue in the US. We luckily do not know that in Europe. Guys will die as the males they always were. It is by definition impossible to change sex. Gender ( in the meaning it has since the sixties) is a word made up in the US by the pharmaceutic industry. They earn millions at these perverted depressed degenerated decadent idiots who lack any talent to count their blessings. Trying to change sex never will solve a depression. It will work for some years. Most of the time with an emotional victim in the family. An exchange of positive and negative energies.
I think it's frankly disgusting what that lady's view on femininity is. She's acting as if it's a bad thing. She says she's a feminist meanwhile shaming cis and trans women for being feminine.
I totally agree. If someone wants a service like this why shouldn't someone else help them? Lets not go pushing own visions of gender onto others. No one is a shit feminist if they like to do traditional roles or dress in a 'super feminine' way and no one is shit person for dressing however they want to. Live, love and let other live their lives unjudged
Why is the reporter so concerned with how Monica is so traditionally feminine? If that's how she wants to act and look, it's not very feminist of her to be constantly putting her down, saying she looks like she belongs in a rom-com, or making fun of how she might put lotion on when she's alone. If that's how she wants to be, what's so wrong with that? For me personally, I love the look of the 50's housewife, baking cookies and cleaning her home while her husband is at work, and looking and acting like that would be for ME, not any man. I also have huge respect for all of the women that are doctors and lawyers, and supporting themselves in the world, all of the women that don't find much enjoyment in perfecting their makeup everyday and cooking dinner for a man. Isn't the point of feminism supposed to be that women can choose ANY kind of life they want to live, even if that is a stereotypical housewife?
Isabel The Look of the housewife? Not wearing makeup is related to not cooking for your man? You sound super pretentious. You perpetually relate fashion and makeup to the feminine power which is to create and nourish life. You've been brainwashed by marketing and advertising firms. A woman actually getting shit done at home around the house and actually being present focused on raising her children right and engaging with her husband is not worried about such ridiculous shit as fashion and most definitely not makeup.
Juliana Silva You sound like a fucking militant dictator. Liberation is freedom to choose. Not every female will fall in lockstep with your trendy version of modern feminism. Many women have goals outside of the almighty dollar and what luxuries it can buy. But your government thanks you for joining the workforce, buying more shit, and helping to produce more shit. Biggest revenue grab in history that boosted GDP to make the US an economic powerhouse all in the name of modern feminism. Run along sheep.
Isabel, SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK (I don't think they heard you the first time) You are absolutely right, feminism is absolutely and completely about the right to choose. Let's simplify this right down for the folks who honestly don't seem to get it, it may not be rocket science, but it still seems to be beyond them. Imagine a country where you have to eat icecream, and all ice-cream flavours are banned, except strawberry. The only flavour dairies sell is strawberry, the only tubs of ice-cream available are strawberry, and you can't travel to another country because of the ice-cream police. Now for some people this is fine, they love strawberry ice-cream, and although some wouldn't mind other flavours for a change, on the whole it doesn't worry them. For others they crave chocolate, goodie goodie gumdrops, vanilla..... Or they simply can't stand strawberry. it makes them ill. And some others would rather skip dessert altogether, And so the discontented started working and campaigning for the right to any flavour ice-cream they want, or none at all. Many of those who like strawberry and are already happy decided to join the fight as well, after all, it is only chance that they love strawberry, don't others also deserve the chance to have the flavour they love, even if it is cookies and cream, or rum and raisin? Well eventually, after many years, and some issues with the cost and availability of other flavours. things began to settle down, they weren't perfect, but in most places they were good. Then something strange started to happen. Some people still loved strawberry, but now others started coming up to them, telling them they should be ashamed of themselves, that many people fought so that they could choose a different flavout. "But strawberry is my favourite" they would protest, only to be told they weren't true icecream fans, and despite explainations that the whole point is now everyone gets to choose their favourite flavour and that is what they fought for, But people tell the poor strawberry fans that they are stopping everyone else enjoying their icecream, and that if the strawberry fans aren't careful, they will cause the icecream ban to be brought back. Yes, the example is silly, but the point is, fighting for the right to go from one option to many options for everyone doesn't suddenly make the original option wrong for everybody. And choosing that option doesn't mean you cant want others to be allowed to choose different options. And if wearing makeup and nice clothes while being a housewife makes someone happy, then it is none of your business because there isn't one right way to eat strawberry icecream, any more than there is a right flavour of icecream Sincerely, a millennial who understands that we don't all have to be the same to all support each other and protect each other's rights
I agree with your point, I think an extremely important part of feminism is to have a choice in how you live as a woman. I find it easy to interpret what the reporter said as just simply speaking for herself based on her own life experiences as a woman- but yeah the point is it's worth remembering that how a woman chooses to live isn't as important as her having a choice to choose begin with
yes but obviously it's important to point that out, that not every transwoman wants to be 50's housewife, as to avoid reinforcing negative and untrue stereotypes
NathanRomml I agree, but just to be clear, adopting a traditional feminine appearance and fashion style does not automatically mean wanting to be a 50s housewife. Anyone who thinks so should take a walk downtown and look at the number of highly educated, professional women who hold influential positions in large companies, in government and in many other walks of life who choose to wear very nice dresses, heels, "feminine" hairstyles, painted nails and makeup everyday. They are definitely not 50s housewives; however, they are also definitely not feminist sellouts who have accepted that they must look pleasing to men (in a traditionally feminine sense) in order to "get ahead" in a man's world (as many third wave feminists would have us all believe). The men in the equivalent positions with whom these women deal everyday wear expensive suits, properly fitted shirts, fancy ties, nice shoes, shave, keep their hair and nails well groomed etc. These men don't do this to impress the women in the office - they do it because (a) that is the standard of appearance expected of them and (b) most of them feel their strongest, most powerful and most effective when dressed in the "powerful" look of a well-tailored suit! It says, "I am good at what I do and quite successful at it - take me seriously." Professional women can choose to wear pants, pant suits or even men's suits, if they wish - nobody really cares (anymore :-D). I was recently at a military formal gala where people could choose to wear military formal dress or civilian black tie. Most men wore the standard issue male mess dress (as that particular military uniform is called); a few, however, chose to wear dinner jackets (aka tuxedos). Regardless of their individual choices, they all looked quite dashing :-) Most serving military women, on the other hand, chose to wear civilian gowns and all the accompanying accessories. Interestingly, many of the women who chose to wear military mess dress wore unofficial, but widely accepted, "modified" versions of it. Most wore the floor length skirt (the "proper" bottom for female mess dress) and the jacket (which is essentially the same as the male jacket), but replaced the female cowl neck shirt (which is, admittedly, not very flattering) with a men's dress shirt and black bow tie. I did see one woman who chose to wear pants with her mess dress; however, they were not exactly male trousers because these uniforms are tailor made for each individual (yes, we have to purchase them out of our own pockets :-) and she had them properly fitted to her female body. Regardless of skirt or pants, cowl neck or bow tie, however, all the women I saw in mess dress that night were wearing high heels. (I won't say what I wore to that particular event.) My point is that ciswomen are free to choose how "traditionally feminine" they wish to appear. Given that choice, yes, many of them do opt for less traditionally feminine styles, often choosing many "traditionally masculine" elements (though, rarely entire "men's" outfits). However, a large number of intelligent, well-educated, highly paid women in positions of power and influence across a wide variety of sectors in society choose a traditionally feminine appearance because it makes them feel good - it gives them power, boosts their self-confidence, affirms their womanhood and makes them feel really good about themselves, just as a well-tailored suit coupled with a pair of expensive leather dress shoes gives many men power, boosts their self-confidence, affirms their manhood and makes them feel really good about themselves!!! "50s housewives" were trapped in a life of limited choices wherein their (ultra)feminine appearance (along with certain biological realities) was used as a weapon of oppression by a male dominated society. Thankfully, (second wave) feminism brought an end to that sad state of affairs; however, the baby was thrown out with the bath water when a traditionally feminine appearance became a symbol of "bad feminism." As feminism moved into its third wave, despite the many positive evolutions, such as increased awareness of intersectionalism, support for lesbian rights and the recognition that there is a vast world of problems facing the hundreds of millions of girls and women who live outside North America, that came with it, many unsuspecting women soon found themselves under the heels of new oppressors - radical feminists who believe men are evil incarnate and that any woman who freely chooses to express traditional femininity is a sellout who has betrayed every other female on the planet. This radfem oppression is as sad as the "patriarchy" it replaced; a clear case of "meet the new boss; same as the old boss." Feminism is about letting (all) women enjoy equal opportunity, equal access, equal compensation, equal recognition and equal respect for their individual choices as any other person (male or female), regardless of how "feminine" or "masculine" (or androgynous) they choose to dress or behave. This applies to transwomen as well as ciswomen (with the exception of certain reproductive rights and issues that do not apply to transwomen - a point many sjw transadvocates need to understand and respect!). Sorry for the longish rant, but I just had to get all that off my chest.
I love her, she's not telling them that they HAVE to be this certain feminine way, she's helping them find the way that makes them feel empowered, and safe
What the consultant is doing is coming up with a look that 1. The client wants 2 the look she is going for is not extreme-a tailored work look for the first client and secretary and second client. What is up with the reporter? Very negative-she is bringing her own dislike of extreme feminine stereotypes to this process.
I think she should pay for that adult barbie fetish shes got going on there. Plus trans people need jobs and job reform is needed since the whole job search thing is just a great way to steal peoples identities.
@@FR-eu3ch Actually no, cis people get "corrected" all the time and constantly told what we say is wrong even when there's obviously no ill intention. "Trans female" is incorrect. As many times as I've been told gender =/= sex and straight up harassed and threatened because I used the term interchangeably. This person needs to get it right, there's no such thing as a "trans female".
@@eekk2212 i think the actual trans woman who wrote this comment and the trans guy you've now decided to pick a bone with no better than you, but nice try. it's a diverse community and we can personally define ourselves how we like
I was so confused when I heard the second person say she found it weird that a cis woman would teach a trans woman what it means to be a woman... They have literally been one their entire lives?
And there is a definition of femininity! otherwise trans wouldn't even be a thing? There seems to be such a confused rhetoric in the left recently whereby they want everyone to let them be how they want, except those who don't fit what they think is right... let her get her nails done if she wants to tf?
@@ineskenny8090 I've been saying this FOREVER. Pretending like gender norms don't exist completely diminishes transpeoples very real experiences! Just bc one person doesn't fit into gender norms it doesn't mean they don't exist
@@sydneynicole837 I'm slightly confused by your reply. I was making a point about the existence of femininity and that a cis woman is perfectly capable of teaching that to someone who wants to learn to be that way. Could you rephrase or expand on what you mean? thanks :)
It's unerving that some of these people are bashing the "classic feminine" look/persona as if it's archaic and outdated. I am a classic feminine woman and I don't see anything wrong with being me. I love who I am and I will support anyone whose inner beauty wants to be a classic feminine person. Just like ying and yang, I believe that the difference between masculine and feminine engery is beautiful in its own respect and we should respect each other for how we want to present ourselves to the world.
I agree, I'm a classic feminine woman as well and I feel feminists bash me the most for it, because it's too "cliche" or too appeasing to men. There really is something against feminine women these days.
i hate to break it to you but there has always been something against feminine women- as well as non-feminine women. both are vehemently shit upon. i've seen unmasculine women downright demonized and told they're unlike women/not real women in mainstream liberal feminist media.
I saw this more like a mom showing her kids how to do their hair and make up, this woman isn't going out evilly seeking out trans people and telling them how to dress or express themselves, trans women choose to come to her, see that she is glamorous and want to know how to get that image
Exactly! Alot of business professionals got to professionals to learn skills and things and this includes image etiquette communication and social coaches. Its jist picking up skills! For success in various forums! Which is a sensible positive confident thing to do. Everybody dosen't know everything but we have a rright to explpte and grab opportunities to learn things of interest to us ! GEE!
This reporter is SO off-putting. Listening to her consistently belittle people who want to embrace their femininity is cringey. Sometime I like to dress really feminine and sometime I dress more androgynous. Whatever makes ME feel good. I don't know why this reporter is so up in arms about people wanting to be themselves.
What!? No she wasn't. . . Wtf! She simply Owned up to her initial differing views but never did she make it sound like her viewpoint was superior. In fact.. by the end she seemed completely understanding and accepting of their differences. You yourself would make a Terrible reporter because you seem like a terribly bias individual. My guess, is you didn't like her from the start and looked for the slightest sign that may prove your argument, when in actuality, this video shows people of two different lifestyle coming together to accept one anothers. I myself am Trans MTF, and I really enjoyed Both if these ladies and their viewpoints. They seemed very fond of each other by the end. And I Love both examples of a lady they have to teach a trans like me.. I have my feminine moments, but I will forever be a tomboy. Great video! 😊
At one point she comments about stereotypes, and not liking the image of a 50s housewife. I'd like to ask her why she's wearing red lipstick and nail polish. Aren't those stereotypes..? And who is it who decides which ones are done for men..?
I actually agreed with her initially, she viewed the situation as wrong because she didn’t ever want to associate femininity with makeup, hair, nails etc and that’s what they were doing. But then learnt that it was an experimental portion to then develop into personalization
this was actually a really uplifting doc. some ppl may take issue with the stuff that was said but at the end of the day this girl is helping people who are transitioning feel more comfortable in theory own skin either before they get surgery or even without having to resort to surgery at all.
+Brian She doesn't only give you verbal consulting, she also has physical items that she uses during her consulting, so that's probably where the price tag comes into.
She is not only 'consulting' in the verbal thing. She also throws in gear and clothes to follow through yourself. It is a package, if i got it right. And i don't think she wants to take advantage of anyone.
Again, this is just a prime example of how people need to mind their own business and quit sticking their opinions in things that don't have anything to do with them. Everyone interviewed about how they felt about this woman, someone they never knew and never heard of, and what she was doing needed to chill out. It's not about you. She's doing so many people a great service. And saving lives. And everyone wanted to condemn her for it. Bullshit.
I was thinking the same thing. They think they're so progressive, yet they are constantly making it about themselves, when it's not. No one forces them to conform to the feminine standard of beauty. They can wear whatever they want and make their own choices, co why won't they let trans people do the same?
Women should wear whatever we want. But that's not the end of the story. Part of the reason the women in this doc are seeking help to conform to gender stereotypes is that women who don't conform to femininity are targeted & harassed--cis & trans women both face this. Also, appearance plays a huge role in career & financial success. Not because women who conform to feminine standards are better at their jobs, but because our culture discriminates against women who don't conform & rewards women who do. So that's the 'feminist issue' the host is raising. She's not questioning these women's right to wear whatever they want, she's just talking about the political context around our choices. Because our choices don't happen in a vacuum. The personal IS political. The pressure on women to conform to beauty standards is harmful to girls and women, harmful to our self-esteem and wellbeing. To me, the host is pointing out the political context to the issue of gender expectations, gender conformity, gender stereotypes.
She is an awful person . She is one of those toxic feminists , who are not actually feminists but those horrible women who think "all men should die" and like wearing t shirts that have stuff like "I bathe in men's tears" written on it . Doing more damage than equality in society. In the documentary about the only all-woman village in the whole of Africa , she said something really sexist and laughed and THAT WAS IT FOR ME !!!
@@johnnydtractive Lol wut ??? 0_o dude I am pretty sure you either have no idea what male fragility means , or completely miss understood what I wrote XD
What the reporter doesn't understand is that as much as YOU don't want to be that 'typical' feminine image you describe, SOME people DO. And when people take a conscious decision to feminise themselves, that is as empowering as you rejecting that typical feminine image.
SuperNeontrix I hate when feminists think that being feminine=sexism. Femininity doesn't mean that your being like some 50s show or I heart Lucy. It's like how some men enjoy being masculine but don't relate it to being the sexist idea that men are stupid or they're strength over wits. I think it's actually regressive to say that we should never follow the feminine rule because guess what, there are no rules to gender except for the ones that you lay down for yourself and if you think that just because a person wants to be "super feminine" is sexist, well then your making it sexist for your self.
I'm so glad other people feel the same way i do about this reporter coz i thought that maybe it's me. She's not good at what she does at all! She's extremely bias and it's annoying and very unprofessional, she was doing the same thing on another documentary called "Thee land of no Men: Inside Kenya's Women-Only village", she was basically harassing and being passive aggressive and condescending to the men she was interviewing there who were voicing their opinions about the matter, and i was thinking how dare you travel from some European country to these people village and tell them how they should live their lives and disrespect them in that way, it's like her point of view is the right way to think and any other point of view is wrong smh.
This is so beautiful. What a lovely service Monica is providing. I'm so happy for her and her clients. Thanks for covering this story, Broadly. The interviewer was quite negative/judgmental, imo. A little frustrating but I noticed this was from 2016. I hope she's learned a lot between now and then.
Yeah, but let's please take a moment to appreciate how beautiful that first trans lady looks! Omg, she entered the building like a plain, gray figure and ended up looking so content, self confient and beautiful!! I loved her!
Amber Lopez Totally true. I’ve never been better. And Monica’s help was truly wonderful in helping me get here. A simple google search of my name will demonstrate just how important she’s been.
Kristen Browde Awe you replied! I’m a conservative and I know a lot of conservatives aren’t supportive, but being a youth in that movement allows me to speak to people who may not understand and help them. I hope that you have happiness in your life and you look beautiful! Go out there and kick ass girl.
Jean P. G. Oh hush, dislike it as much as you want but she isn’t affecting you at all. You don’t have to like her, but if you don’t, just don’t speak to her, there’s no reason for your paths to cross in the first place.
Trans people are allowed to want to be gender conforming, just like cis people are. Wanting to pass and be comfortable isn’t conforming to archaic standards of gender. I appreciate this woman for trying to offer these women and folks her services. It can help them both pass and feel confidence in how they look.
I am a woman and I love my femininity and I love to dress up feminine, it's my taste and that's how I like it. I wouldn't want to be ridiculed for what I choose personally for myself.
There's nothing offensive about this. I'm an esthetician and if a client came to me and said hey I'm transitioning and I would love for you to show me how to care for my skin and nails, I would be honored to help them. Monica, you're doing something right.
GuiltyUntillProvenSober how the fuck is this in any way shape or form sexist. If this is what some transgender or transitioning people want to be like, so be it.
GuiltyUntillProvenSober If it isn’t femininity what makes a woman a woman, what does? That’s a sincere question, because most transgender women feel like they need to go through dozens of surgeries to make their voice and body more feminine to be who they really are. If femininity isn’t what makes a woman a woman, in theory, they can just keep their bodies intact and be a masculine woman.
Nobody is saying its a tick box uniform to be a woman but fucking hell, If a trans person adds material things to help them be able to leave the house, LOVE THEMSELVES A LITTLE MORE or as mentioned 'passing' to not be verbally abused, physically abused or killed then who the fuck even cares. Under your statement if you're going to be pissed off with anybody be pissed off with women who have on nails, wear heels, makeup etc. because in theory they are the ones reinforcing that those things are visually what a woman has to have.
We are all moving bags of flesh who all chose external pieces of nothing'ness to portray an image of our choice to the world.
Jay Bee so there’s exceptions, but there’s no exceptions? You actually just don’t understand, even though you think you do. It’s not all about genetic make up and chromosomes. Science knows that even if you don’t. You’re going to come back and tell me I’m an idiot or something, maybe even with a cherry picked “citation”. When it comes down to it, chromosomes can be really wildly diverse and not actually fit what we think it should. Hermaphroditism, or more correctly intersex or DSD (difference of sex development) for humans, has a large scope and isn’t a simple “both or nothing”. It’s not simple he and she, bam biology. Never has been, never will be. You can disagree, feel free. It doesn’t mean you’re right though. I don’t really understand, but at least I know enough to understand that I don’t understand.
GEM how do you remove a vagina?
She's not militantly telling trans people you need my service, she's like a stylist. All the people getting offended need to realize that their choice to reject hyperfeminism doesn't mean that others should simply because of it
She’s basically endorsing trans like wtf wake up can’t u see how evil this shit is
they dont know better, theyre learning or getting styled by a woman who calls herself girly girl. do you see whats wrong here?
"they dont know better". Do you hear how patronizing you sound? Say it out loud to yourself. Say it out loud about yourself. Listen to yourself and tell me that isn't belittling.
Maithily m She is just helping them feel THEIR happiness there's no end goal for her
It is only evil in your eyes so the evil is already in you then you seek someone to project it on. There is a reason you are on here and i suspect perhaps you are on these sites a lot?
Just because something is feminine does not mean it’s anti-feminist.
Monica is so inspiring, there needs to be more people like her.
i agree! i see the opposite thing as a trans guy- if i wore a dress i would be shot down by other guys and trans guys. people should wear whatever empowers them!
yeah- people forget that, for sure.
Being shamed to express feminity if you desire to sounds even more anti-feminist in my opinion. Anyone should express their idenity however they like, whether it be traditionally based or not. Chrissie slays regardless. :)
+
@@saharnadi9763 Exactly. Hating on feminine expression is simply placing more value on masculine traits than feminine ones. Empowering women comes from placing value in however you express your womanhood, traditional or otherwise.
Just because someone wants to look a certain way doesn't mean they are conforming to anything. A real feminist wouldn't judge other women for looking more traditionally feminine.
The consultant seems very compassionate and sweet.
A M. While I agree with some of your points I would like to express that as a trans individual it has nothing to do with being feminine or masculine that’s just the only way we can explain how dysphoria feels because it’s very strange the only way I think I can explain to you is feeling alien in your biological body it is a incurable nuerological disorder and transition is he only way to feel comfortable
A M. Look that is what most people want that’s the thing I wish I could accept my body the thing is it feels like it doesn’t belong to you at the end of the day I’m not a doctor you can believe what you want but it is a neurological disorder there is evidence of that please don’t claim to know all there is to know about it the brain is a complex super computer inside our heads there is physically no way you understand all there is to know about nuerology neither do I but there are other ways to explain dysphoria I just don’t know if you would necessarily understand then my point is I understand your point of view but try to be open minded and come into arguments/debates ready to intake information have a nice day
A M. Did you not read my comment
A M. There are so many studies for it but you clearly are not going to listen to anything I say so I genuinely can’t be bothered with you. Your acting like you know everything there is to know about the brain and culture and gender stereotypes and what’s going on in other people’s heads but you don’t. Stop preaching about all this stuff you can’t comprehend. If there is no evidence tell me why thousands of studies and brain scans say otherwise and what evidence do you have to disprove it???
A M. I’m tired of this argument I respect your opinion, the fact you have an opinion and the right to share it. All I would say is that do not state your opinion as if it is fact and you are 100% correct because it is an opinion. I will consider it an opinion until you have read every medical document regarding gender dysphoria on the internet because there is no way you have read all of them have a nice day
i don't think she's teaching trans women how to look "feminine" i think its more like helping trans women reach their ideal image
yes!
Yeah, true
+Toast: Yes! Extremely well said!
i need that too. some one who teach me how to wear make up
+Jessica M While she is teaching them about style and stuff, I think she is more importantly being someone they can rely on to be open with. I feel like its sort of a therapy thing, because for the first time these women can talk comfortably about what they think are important womanly things in their lives.
How can anyone, gay, trans or hetero, try and say that what Monica is doing is wrong? She's helping people be more confident, more themselves and giving them ways of presenting themselves so that they don't get harassed or attacked. Not many people would do that for a complete stranger but she's doing it for a goddam job! IMO she is an amazing woman
It sounds wrong on paper. But when you see what she does, she is doing something truly inspiring!
She is a consultant she gets paid lol it's a nice thing but still a job
I am glad Monica is doing this,as a business perspective it's a good thing since its able to solve problems and from a perspective a person who uses the service they feel better about themselves around Monica, it's obvious she wants to help people feel better with themselves and that's admirable
People hire image consultants as well, I see this is no different. Also if you don't want to present more feminine, that's you. I think people should wear and do what makes THEM happy.
She saw a need and took advantage of it and in the process is helping people who would otherwise be clueless on what to do. I think not every trans woman wants to have multiple layers of makeup, huge wigs and suggestive clothes like what you see drag queens wearing. She took her skill and used it in a very different way that I think will bring her much success.
"you can't say you support women and then shame women who like traditionally feminine things. " THIS!! SO MUCH YES!
True. However, we do need to talk about why so many transgender (and cisgender) women equate femininity with being a woman. The lady said it herself during the video; a lot of her clients start out in super suggestive outfits that cater to masculine sexual tastes, and don't know what else to wear. Maybe we as a society could do a better job of teaching everyone that there is more to being a woman than the stereotypical, super feminine things, and make the world a safer, more comfortable place for transgender women AND less feminine cis women at the same time!
where is this quote from?!
Asha Mae I am aware that her acknowledgment of the revealing/flashy clothing was brief insight into what the people she works with has in their closet. But it did sit with me for a couple of seconds. It made me sad that part of the process with transitioning (on the topic of clothing) for a few people involved "coming to terms with" objectification so quickly. Like you said, there are so many amazing ways to express femininity. I would also like to see us move from that initial direction.
wikkedchik90 what standard of "tradition" are u referring to? Think for a moment please...
jrpapi5 dont act dumb, you know damn well what traditional feminine traits are
Chrissie’s smile when Monica said “We’re going to get your ears pierced today” melted my heart I’m so happy for her. I think Monica is truly helping. She doesn’t force trans women to be women they don’t want to be. She will help women be whoever they truly are.
You mean that old dude?
Todd Lehman I’m speaking about Chrissie, the older woman who was being assisted by Monica. Chrissie is her name.
@@SR-mz8nn ohhhh, yeah. The older Dude
Todd Lehman misgendering Chrissie is cruel and unnecessary. If you’re a bigot, you can keep your bullying to yourself.
@@SR-mz8nn it's not cruel. It's a simple biological FACT. I hope that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, assigning yourself a pronoun based on what you Wish were true just doesn't make it real. Act how you want, good for you, no harm to me. But I WILL say what I believe to be true. Good for me, and really, there's no harm to you.
I think that’s she’s acting like a “big sister” or a mother showing how to do “girly things” that they never had growing up.
Ashley this comment made me tear up. I love your analogy!! ❤️
yeah, if you object to the service you don't seek it out and pay for it. the woman is providing for trans women that admire and want to present the stereotypical image of a woman. if you don't want to conform to that, you don't have to. this video is being overly critical.
I agree. When you grow up with the world regarding you as female you get the chance to try out being traditionally "girly", and you learn how to do all that "girly" stuff from your mom, your sisters, your friends, etc. If you were denied the opportunity to try out classic "femininity", and if it's something you want/identify with, where do you start when you're already in your 40's, for example, and want to look sophisticated?
Exactly
Yeah, and that's awesome, if these people are enjoying the service she gives and she's happy giving that service then what is the fucking problem of other people?
Especialy the "cis woman" part, like, a cis woman is probably someone who knows very well how to be feminine, that's like complaining about you gyno being female.
Monica isn't turning trans women into herself, she's helping them be who they want to be.
MadAboutSaffron Red but they can never be real women
@@Justhppy2behere Well, no, not technically. Their chromosomes are still male. However, if they've gone through surgery and now have female parts, it's absolutely acceptable to want to be addressed and identify as a woman, and they should be. I would absolutely consider them a woman by society's standards. But, if you want to get scientific and technical, no, they are not a *REAL* woman.
@@notmyrealnamep9218 you can't be a firefighter
pigglet and pooh bear I could doe
@@notmyrealnamep9218 takes a lot of time and effort to achieve though doesn't it
This woman creates a safe, educational and supporting environment for people that want to explore femininity and I think that is amazing
If you can answer one question why is it that people like you say this is wrong,?!okay Then y watch videos like this!😵! like in the search for gold😂like me I don't like rock music so why in the world would I search for it watch the whole video then judge it...🍻👀if I don't like rock music💁😘its stupid lol
i think even real women can get the benefit of this kind of consultations..
Real women...??
I can't imagine not being able to express who you are for 65 years, and once it begins, it has to be scary. That she's able to be a safe place for someone like Cristen really is amazing.
Surprisingly unscary; indeed, so much less difficult than wearing a mask. But Monica completely rules...and this video barely scratches the surface of how valuable her advice has been.
“not every trans person wants to be a trans warrior all the time” I think that’s an important concept for some of us “allies” to understand
Also I really love the consultant’s approach 💕
Why the terms allies and warriors? Are we at war?
@@annika3118 yes
I live in a small town and I'm very open about understanding and correcting transphobe as I'm mtf. But I sometimes wanna go to school without being called "that trans girl who always is in the gsa(gender sexuality alliance) presentations
THAT
I think what Monica is doing is good work. Especially for older trans women. They’re targets for harassment. If they want to blend in, who is to say they shouldn’t be allowed? Who they are as a person should be what people notice, not if they’re trans. I don’t know why anyone would have a problem with what she does.
Agreed, the lawyer clearly expressed her desire to look professional and not be a "distraction" which to me empowered her to move forward as her authentic self. Monica didn't overly feminize her, she styled her to quite a modern and simple look.
I definitely agree with you and I think the reporter does make a point but in this case her opinion doesn’t matter as she isn’t trans.
@A M. shes a cis woman who doesnt struggle to pas like mtf. Her opinion doesnt enhance this doc at all.
Let’s be real here as a cis female I went through all this as teenager I learnt how to do my hair and makeup and how to pick out clothes for my body type, this is really just people who didn’t have that opportunity at that age doing those things and she is just like a Mum/ sister figure
Some of us women even took until our mid thirties to find our style :) the 90s fashions did not suit my body type lol it took 50s fashion to start coming back into style 10 years ago for me to find the style that doesn’t make me look like a sack of potatoes. Now I’m 45 I’m only just learning how to do make up. 90s make up again wasn’t the best time to learn! Maybe one day I’ll learn to walk in heels, damn you doc martins! (Eh, screw heels, I’m too old for that one!) ;)
That true I’m still learning... growing up with my grandmother whose not into fashion little bit odd being a retire seamstress and a mother whose a hairdresser.. I didn’t learn how to do my own make up and neither choosing a right clothes for a occasion I’m more comfy
Exactly my thoughts
I definitely agree 100% with you. :) you explained it perfectly.
@@janinebasil Your pic is beautiful. Too old for heels!!! Nope!!! That feeling of slipping on heels is so yummy. Shop and find a pair of quality shoes. My brands are Weitzman, Jessica Simpson, Micheal Kors, Carlos Santana, BCBG, I just bought Fergilicious, and a Michael I can't remember. These fit my foot and are sturdy. I'm curvy. I'm large chested. You gotta balance more as a buxom lady. Always have comfy flats or sneakers in the car. Beauty is not pain...just fun. Well good luck and hugs. Keep being your beautiful self.🌹
This isn't just a 'to be a female you need to be x,y,z,' it's an empowerment of women who were denied it as they grew up. Monica saw that these people were struggling to feel comfortable in society so she created a safe and open space where she could help them. Any body is allowed to dress however they want, these women want to dress to society's standard of feminine and she is just there to help them with that.
@ cullrapists : You are not whatever it is you claim to be.
Do you think it's OK to replicate stereotypes of what a woman is?
illuminatisdf Idk if your comment is aimed at me but I might as well reply. I don't believe everything that defines a 'woman' should be the definition of a woman (i.e. the need to wear makeup, woman are weaker, skirts being mandatory in work environments). But as some people like to be loud and queer, there are likely many trans people who don't want to be the stereotypical dyed hair, androgynous look of the trans community that you see at pride. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fit in to everyday life. Having a choice does not mean you should be different, but you are allowed to be different. Similar to Hijab debates; if a girl wishes to wear a hijab (or something similar which I don't know the names of), that she should be able to, it's not right when a girl is forced to wear it despite what she wants. These woman have a choice, and they chose to blend in with society, and I don't think them wanting it that way is wrong.
illuminatisdf Why wouldn't it be?
illuminatisdf How degrading of you to women to tell them how to dress! Trans women can't get a break, either they're not passing enough to feel like their gender, or they're too much of that gender! What about cis women who fit into these stereotypes? There's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is rejecting people and invalidating them.
Damn she's just trying to help and they're bashing her.
Katie Patterson truth. All she is doing is being a guide in a Transformative time for these people.
Not just bashing her but her clients and their legitimate desires !
GEEZ!
IF OT ISNT FOR YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE MAYBE?
@Fliss098 idt id characterize it as the extreme left unless you mean the leftism in the era of mao zedong, "the four olds", and how femininity was punished as it became a scapegoat for bourgeois affectation. But that ends up just being regular old misogyny which exists in every political sphere and every aspect of social modernity (of globalized societies at least).
She is very positive and affirming towards her clients who are not yet full time presenting as female. She uses the correct pronouns and seems very supportive. I’m a transgender man and initially this could seem transphobic but this is about people getting the guidance they are seeking.
the skeptics are so cringy. shes just a makeup artist trans women can go to and not feel judged.
I love how the consultant consistently asks the clients how they feel. Her goal isn't nails and dresses and 50's pinups, it's bringing comfort and knowledge to those who may not have had access to all the information.
The interviewer is being overbearing. She focuses so much on her own ideals and forces them onto scenarios that have nothing to do with it.
Monica is giving advice and tips, not forcing them. It just seems like she's expanding their minds by vocalizing her own feminine thoughts for them to build off of, and it clearly makes them so happy. It warms my heart really.
It's true that there's no way to truely be feminine, but there's definitely a base for it, and we as cis woman grow up with that base without thinking too hard about it and build off of it to form our "femininity" but these trans women don't. She's just giving them a place to start because they're feeling a little frazzled and confused, and I'm sure it takes a load off for them and makes them feel like it's a bit easier to live life.
Yeah, but I feel she got better during the interview. It felt like it was a learning experience for her and I respect that :)
She kept her heart open
...I didn't even realize that she was an interviewer. She doesn't seem to take up that role in the video, she takes up too much space for that.
@@Kick0a0cat Yesss! lol I could she was on a trip a little bit while Chrissie was getting done
Couldn't agree more! Sometime most of us were only really close to our mothers, sisters, girlfriends or cousins but didn't have the place to build ourselves as women. While almost everyone was expecting and investing on you to become a man, so it's like trying get out of that skin (or should I say dress) people built on you.
its really funny how monica and the kristen were so comfortable and understanding of each other but the reporter was so annoyed and judgy lmfao
some people want to be feminine and theres nothing wrong with that
@Kasey I am not one, however, IMO feminists simply want women to be viewed as "strong", capable and competent regardless of their physical aesthetic or fashion choices. I really do not think it has anything at all do with them exuding "masculine" traits - instead they opt to take complete control of their lives and seek equal opportunity, equitable pay, fair treatment, non-biases, etc. In no sense are these merely "masculine" desires or traits.
(And I am a woman of color)
@@sheldeon What those particular feminists don't realize is that I can be strong, capable, independent WHILE being feminine. A lot of those feminists like you said want to be seen as strong etc. but in the same breath shame women who unapologetically want to be feminine.
@@velvetstorm4563 So can I. My point is people need to STOP attributing the term "masculine " traits to a woman who is merely handling her business and just living her own best life, no matter what she interprets that to be/look like.
This consultant really warmed my heart, she is so compassionate, warm hearted and educated.
Omg 666 likes better stay like this
And hot
Lol what? She's making a mint from guys with a fetish.
This lady is a saint. I know how she feels. I'm trans Male and I've given my trans female friends advice on how to be more feminine, wear makeup, etc. In turn they help me with being more masculine. It's just what we as trans people do.
The moment where the businesswoman cries over getting her ears pierced PERFECTLY shows exactly why this woman's work is so important.
I agree, but she was probably crying because of the pain.
You mean the old dude?
This reminds me of my older sister when I was a preteen and she taught me how to wear makeup and to walk in heels. I love the work she is doing
Jean P. G. What the fuck is wrong with you?
nobody taught me, mom and sis are not that feminine, sis only bought make up for me but she's not even using one
I wish I had an older sister teach me... my mom never really taught me to do what most mothers/sisters teach their daughter or younger sister.. like braiding or makeup..
Laurel Inheritance oh wow, she taught you to be a pretentious hyperconsumer parading around in face paint and totally non functional footwear.
Ninny Nina makeup, fashion and heels are not 'feminine'. Creating and nurturing life is FEMININE. What you speak of corporate marketing strategies to get women to purchase shit in order to qualify as a 'woman'.
this is like giving trans women the big sister or mom they missed out on as a teenager. beautiful.
Alix Jordan love it
I wish I had a person that could help me but I am more of a person that I want to stand out
Koshiba if you were in Texas I would help you. This woman is so inspiring. Makes me want to do the same!
For trans women, "passing" isn't just some random choice they have. It is often literally a life or death situation. If a woman wants this service, don't you dare shame them for it. This woman and the people who come to her deserve none of your garbage. They are exactly who they are. They do not need to apologize for being themselves.
Smh... Transwoman get shit on for not being feminine enough and then when they try to be more feminine by going to someonme like this stylist they get shit on for caring what others think of them.
Thank U
Consultant: "Is this a shirt or a dress?"
Kristie: "yes."
Lmao
When kristen got her ears pierced i cried. It was a big moment for her you can tell and monica helped her get there.
The reporter acts as though just because she doesn't like being feminine means that no other women are allowed to be feminine. She's a really downer in an otherwise uplifting video.
Thats why vice needs to stop making docs more about their journalists
@@marsh6714 I agree xD
I agree. I agree that gender and femininity/masculinity is a spectrum and it’s sad someone has to conform to these societal standards but that’s the way it is. In today’s day and age, if you don’t conform to these standards of femininity set by society you run the risk of being violated or even killed. This is why trans deaths are so high.
I think the cis-gendered reporter needs to realize that these trans people are trying to be more feminine so they aren’t being separated or left out from the conversation of being a woman. They should’ve had a trans reporter instead of a cis-gendered reporter in my opinion.
I thought I was the only that noticed , being more feminine has done a lot for me I would never ever want to Masculine.
I mean, I love wearing dresses and love many "girly" things, but I also like many typically "boyish" things like rock climbing, video games and comics.
Everyone can be different and to be honest, gender isn't a binary and the same counts for gender expression or rather the way you want to express yourself.
This reporter is obnoxious. These people aren't being forced to come to this woman - they are seeking her out! As a cis female my makeup was trash when I was growing up (blue eyeliner and gold glitter erryday) but I had my entire youth living as a woman to experiment with my look, hone my styling skills, and get advice from the women around me. This woman is offering a similar (although expedited) experience for these trans women to learn what they weren't able to explore in their youth.
Not going to lie it's really hard to take you seriously when your name is "Ice Cream Lover". How exactly is anyone infringing on your rights by being trans? Also, by saying you let "you guys have rights"- are you talking about women? Because I'm a biological woman (not that it should matter). It seems like your reading cognition is pretty poor.
@@MsBunhead What does my account name have do with it? It's wrong to be trans because it's not your biological gender. I was born a female and that's what I am. You can't change DNA or gender, learn biology. Second, it DOES infringement on our rights. If a person didn't believe in trans cause of their religious beliefs, they are forced to violate their religious beliefs to accommodate them. See how messed up it is?
Ice Cream Lover so you expect a person to live their entire lives an unhappy lie to circumvent your religious beliefs and feewings? what privilege. you don’t force someone to do what slowly kills them just because you don’t approve. move on, because what’s a detail to you is someone’s entire life. and yeah, “accommodate” them by letting them live, since they’re HUMAN, like everyone else.
Ps- there’s no such thing as “believing in trans.” some people have gender dysphoria. that’s facts. you clearly have a misunderstanding about rights, too.
Ice Cream, how exactly does your right to be Christian, trump a Trans Persons rights? As a Christian, I have the right to chose to be or not be a Christian. Trans people and gay people didn't get the right to chose to be gay or trans, that choice was made for them. See how messed up that is?
@@tobflipped It takes our rights away cause if you're like that, people who don't support it cause of religious beliefs would be forced to take a part in it. Like the baker forced to make a gay wedding cake for gay couple or the Christian woman forced to call trans man a boy. It's against their religion. It gay.
I actually like what she is doing and I think it's just misunderstood. She's being like a stylist/girlfriend. If you hire a stylist you look for one who vibes with your style. I think Monica has a lot of clients like the lawyer. She wants a very classic NORDSTROM look. Femininity has many styles, this is just theirs. I think sometimes when we are so focused on being the wokest feminist in the room we count some women out. She's making the lives of some women brighter while not knocking others down in the process.
Agree 100%
Agreed!
I see a lot of (especially the ones who transition at an older age) trans women go through the awkward stages of fashion that most girls go through in middle school - I would probably consider Monica more a fashion coach than anything. If a trans woman's goal is to not attract extra harassment, why should this service be demonized? The reporter is missing the point by inserting her own opinions on femininity over the the wants of these individual trans women.
I couldn’t believe how the reporter missed the HUGE issue of SAFETY! If you “pass,” you are going to not only feel safer, but actually be safer. How can she be so judgmental? She is giving these woman the tools to present themselves how they want to look!! I can’t imagine going through that gawky teen fashion phase in my 30s.
A M. Safer doesn’t mean totally safe
A M. Trans women are absolutely safer if they are passing as the gender they choose to present. I am not saying being a woman is inherently safe, but trans women (and men!)have it 10x harder than we cis women do. For example, we can go into the bathroom with the gender we identify as. Trans men are risking assault if they aren’t passing. Trans females have hate crimes perpetrated against them all the time! We are talking about a compound issue here. These women are not only as subject to sexual harassment and assault as a cis woman, they risk being a victim of a hate crime. They risk being targeted for being trans. I am personally lucky to live somewhere that behavior isn’t tolerated, but most trans people are risking their personal safety going out in public if they don’t look like one gender or another.
A M. I think you completely missed the point of what I’m saying
A M. It is absolutely safer to appear to conform to one gender or another period. I’m literally stating a fact. Problematic? Sure. Doesn’t make it untrue. I don’t know why you believe otherwise. I’m obviously not gonna convince you but whatever.
She has a dream job. She gets to make people feel good about themselves. It's SO much more than the make up and just becoming feminine. They are paying to feel accepted, to feel like their real self matches their ideal self. It's a beautiful thing. I'd do it for free on the side if I knew anyone who wanted that kind of help.
a lot of people have this sort dream jobs where they make others feel soo good about themselves
for example, whores
Nosy Hausfrau, you get it. Wish there were more like you. ❤️🙋🏻
NathanRomml and then there’s you
Nosy Hausfrau make an ad for it! put it online, put it on craigslist or put in a newspaper. You might find people who would gladly take your help.
i help my brother like this
The reporter telling women that there's something wrong in being overtly feminine or wanting to look like a 50's housewife is the exact opposite of what a feminist should be saying.
Feminism should be about empowering women/transwoman to be able to be whoever they want to be, to dress however they want.
There's nothing wrong with wearing a dress and heels but there's something wrong with telling someone that they shouldn't wear what makes them happy because they are dressing to societies standards which somehow oppresses them?
How about we let people make their own decisions and stop telling people what they need to wear and how they need to act. Let people live.
Gabby Taylor Love this !!!
My guess is, the reporter is simply playing devil 's advocate, as good journalists are wont to.
Momma Bee Hell you bitch
momma bee, geez, you are one poisonious stupid bitch. thank fuck i don't know you personally.
It's because she's ugly and jealous
She's providing a Trans specific service to Trans people. What's this interviewers problem with people expressing their femininity in different ways. It isn't a dirty thing to enjoy being pretty and wearing nice things.. and I'm fairly tomboyish lol.
It's so bizarre to me that all of these liberal people they interviewed are acting like there's something wrong with what she's doing. Seriously, these people are paying her for a service - to help them learn fashion, makeup, and presentation as feminine, and she's helping them to do that, and clearly doing a very good job of it. How on earth can someone have a problem with this? Let people live their lives, sheesh
I'm liberal and I love this. She's making them feel more comfortable in expressing who they are. Everyone experiments in how they present themselves and how they define themselves, living your life in the wrong gender robs a lot of trans people of the opportunity to be comfortable in who they are. Left, right or middle some people just live to be negative.
I fucking agree with this so much and im a liberal, sometimes I cringe so bad when i see what some of these feminists are doing though.
Ya i dont get the YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME, BUT THIS BITCH OVER HERE shit i dont get. They want everybody to listen to them and not pass any judgement but then in turn are the cringy-ist judgemental people. Isn't the whole idea to be who THEY want to be and live THEIR life the way their comfortable? Keep it up she's providing a great service.
Oh for God's sake. How can you misinterpret it THIS MUCH?
What people are initially skeptical of is the idea that a cis-woman is somehow needed to validate trans women. And I totally get that - it's a fair fucking position to have. Trans women don't need anyone but themselves to validatestheir own selves, obviously.
And that's the whole point of this episode. To explore it more. Because at surface level, it can seem a bit iffy. But seeing the episode, it did make sense to me and I am sure many others. That's why those critical people were put in the BEGINNING of the episode, btw. To show that there are deeper, underlying reasons why Monica might exist.
To try and paint them as bad or stupid is completely missing the mark - and you are the one who ends up looking stupid.
@@smaakaker You know when I first heard in the video that there is this person who has a job that helps trans become more feminine it really confused me. I was like if they are women inside already why would they need help with that. But after watching this video it really makes sense. There is more to expressing yourself as a female with fashion than you realize. Not all trends compliment your physique and you adjust accordingly but transitioning late in life you miss all those moments of adjusting your style (and that is just one small aspect). Her role/job kind of reminds me of the daughter mother dynamic when lets say I see my mom wearing something embarrassing and I have to let her know as my daughterly duty lol. Even as women we can miss the mark let alone someone who has been posing as a man most of their life.
"is this a shirt or a dress?"
"yes."
jskskk i love her
emma von deutschland Lolll
Michelle's interventions in this video got too repetitive. WE GET IT, you disagree with femininity standards, let trans people be happy and feel good in their own skin for a moment and let them discover how much they want to conform to these standards, it's not like they're not making an informed decision if they're already hiring a stylist to help them in the first place.
This interviewer is so negative
Agreed. They should have interviews who aren't biased
Another word would be "pretentious". I liked the consultant, she seems very genuine.
Her ideas are being rushed I prefer to have her see this and understand that feminity isn't patronizing than have someone who agrees with the consultant. If she is judging that is another story
shes horrible, and like its not about you?!
@@vigdis628 Im having trouble understanding your comment. Could you possibly reiterate?
The lady who gets her ears pierced is so cute! When she got into her classy clothes and makeup she just lit up and it's so adorable!
beatlebabe1969 I noticed that, too. Her personality came out in such a lovely way when she was in the pretty clothes and makeup. She felt pretty and that was a joy to witness. ⭐⭐⭐
Elle Brady I almost cried when I saw that. She just looked like she was truly relaxed and at peace with her own body.
beatlebabe1969 Ummm...that's an old man, hun!😏
nah sorry hun thats a lady :)
Mind Riot that's a classy lady hehe
I really don't understand why people would get their panties in a twist about this. This woman is helping transgender women achieve their own individual feminine style and raising their confidence. Plenty of cis women ask other cis and trans women about style and makeup ALL THE TIME! One huge example would be makeup tutorials.
The bad thing here is that those women have to PAY for it.
That's deeply humiliating for them if you can see....
HI, a transwoman is not a transvestie men. You defined what transvesties & transqueers do.
A transsexual woman is a woman, and transsexual is not her identity, is her medical status. You like to use the term transwoman for transvestites and ''drags'', ok, that's what gay men do all the time.
cullrapists pee your pants perhaps
Verónica Darrell These women seemed happy to have someone coach them along and help them. Many people hire life coaches for a variety of things. These women seemed very happy for her service.
The reporter's attitude really upsets me. As cis women, we're never gonna understand the amount of dysphoria that can come with being trans; of course, we can openly reject hyper-femininity and "conformity", because society will always accept us as women. For a trans woman, however, they don't get the traditional feminine childhood cis women have; they aren't encouraged to embrace their womanhood and they certainly weren't taught how to wear makeup and heels as we were.
Sure, feminism is about breaking gender roles and rebelling against societal views of women, but it's core foundation is about embracing ALL women, even the ones who DO like to present as very feminine. It's about finding your own definition of womanhood and femininity, not outright rejecting it. Her rhetoric is dangerously similar to the mindset of "not being like other girls" and suggests that femininity is a bad thing.
I totally agree.
The reporter wants to come across as a liberal feminist but is actually very narrow minded.
You must not have watched the entire video.. or have selective hearing. But the end she was accepting. You should try being more accepting of different viewpoints yourself. And yes in Trans
exactly what I wanna say! Thanks for saying this first :)
I still feel like it's important to ask questions from a more critical perspective, because a lot of people are feeling critical of this sort of thing
It's strange to me that you would say "society will always accept us as women". Perhaps you are a naturally 'feminine' appearing woman, but most cis women know that the closer your appearance is to masculine, the more dangerous & harder your life will be. I mean, all you have to do is read the comments on an Ellen video or Amy Schumer video. They're both women, but the comments are full of insults denigrating them for being men or ugly or not real women. Any woman who won't or can't conform to gender stereotypes faces harassment & discrimination. If you doubt that, stop shaving your armpits & legs for a couple of months, & then go out to a bar in a sleeveless dress & no makeup.
Womanhood & femininity are two very different things. We are socialized to believe it's somehow 'natural' for women to undergo plastic surgery or spend hours every day on our appearance, all in the cause of 'femininity'. But that's not 'natural', that's a culture that enforces rigid gender standards on us from the moment we take our first breath.
The interviewer pisses me off, she’s helping her dress how she wants!
The reporter has such a distorted idea of what feminism is nowadays. (As do most people, unfortunately).
She speaks as if dressing in a sexy polkadot dress and heels, baking cookies, or wearing pink eyeshadow and lipstick are things women do/ have done in the past for the sole purpose of pleasing men. And that is just not true.
If a woman feels confident and comfortable styling herself in a way that is perceived as “stereotypical” (housewife, barbie doll, etc.) it does not need to mean she does this for any other reason than to please herself. For someone to assume that dressing in a very “feminine” way is automatically associated with men or sexism, is very wrong.
The problem does not lay within the women who choose to be “stereotypical.” The problem lays within the people who associate these traits with “women trying to please men.” If a woman is happiest when she looks like a barbie doll, it is not your place to tell her that she is only doing so for the sake of men. She is doing so for HERSELF, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with a woman dressing herself in things that are considered “masculine” or “tomboy- ish.” The way women dress should not be associated with men, as long as the women are happy this way.
For the most part, I feel that as a society we have made some progress regarding the whole “how women should act” bullshit. Nowadays (not completely), nobody is mean to a girl who likes “masculine” things, nobody tries to tell a little girl that she cannot skateboard or play football, this is because people are letting go of the “women and men should both act a certain way” narrative. (As I said, not completely). We cannot forget that it goes both ways, though. It is ok for a girl to act or dress “masculine” and it is also ok for a girl to act or dress “feminine.” This is because neither of those words have much meaning anymore, you should be able to like whatever you like (as a man or a woman) and not be told it is wrong, or that it is just a way of trying to please the other gender.
Today, real feminism means letting women dress or act in whatever manner that makes them feel happiest, most confident, and most comfortable. And it should never be/ has never originally been for any other reason.
Thanks for this! I'm a femmey lesbian, so if I have an opportunity to get all glammed up, I take it -- and it's obviously not to please men! My girlfriend often tells me that she likes me better without all the makeup, so it's not even for her either...it's for me!
Correct
Thank you, being cis female and femme is definitely not only dressing to please men! Corsetry and waist-training have always been my passions, it's about molding and shaping and feeling safe and expressing my artistic vision. all my life, the people complimenting me most are women of all genders and I love them all.
@gypsyco lab facts. way to sum it up for us
👏👏👏👏👏
A cisgender woman is the perfect person to consult them. There is such a thing as feminine/feminine looking. This is a perfect service and anyone has a choice to go to it, it's not forced.
You have to be a negative person to not want this to exist and actually help people. You're not helping at all, you're just complaining and making things worse.
Elise M exactly when you've been taught your whole life how to be feminine like cis women you can be a resource for others who want to feel feminine
ok I know she gets paid but she honestly is such a sweet and caring girl to her clients. so genuine. not a snob or anything, just a genuine girl. good on her.
Monica seems like an insightful, intelligent person who recognizes that there’s a need for a service that exists for many trans people, one that she’s very good at providing. And yes, she’s aware of privileges and objectification of women.
While she is criticized for being a cis woman being a consultant for trans women on traditionally feminine things, the trans women that seek her consultation never had the privilege that her critics had of having coaches in fashion and makeup skills like they did growing up.
They value Monica’s services, and Monica is helping them overcome their dysmorphia.
To me, the interviewer and others like her come across as the judgy ones, while Monica actively works to provide a safe space for trans people to explore becoming their ideal selves.
Preach!
I don't see anything wrong with this, cisgender women ask other cisgender women ALL THE TIME on how to do certain makeup, or what they should wear when they goto a party, or WHATEVER. These women want to look in a traditionally really feminine way and they don't know how to do it because that's not how they were raised/brought up in the world. They always felt they were a woman but they were treated like men. They didn't grow up doing their makeup with their mom or hanging with girls at sleepovers, doing all that kind of stuff that a lot of girls do when they're young. Knowing how to do all that girly stuff comes with years of experience, so if you take this older female attorney client, she needs someone to teach her how to do these really traditionally feminine things in a shorter amount of time to make up for all the years she didn't get to learn these things. At the end of the day, these are women who are making their own choice to how they want to be as a woman, it just so happens they want to be the women in high heels and dresses and they need help.
+Capgungoesbang Yeah, great point :-)
mikel arranz "they don't pay them" What world do you live in lol
mikel arranz yes they do. Me and my friends did when I was younger
Zechariah Cameron To your point, do you know what a Francofile is? It's a person who loves French culture.
Francofiles exist worldwide, and it's not uncommon to identify with another culture or even another era to the extent that people conform to that style of dress, language, read books or watch film from that culture or from that time period, go to museums, travel to, collect, etc.
Cultural comparison is a good one, but it's not as personal as gender identity. A person doesn't feel they their body is their own- until they finally transition.
Zechariah Cameron I don't think you are being hateful, I think you don't understand, the situation.
You have not said anything mean.
Carl Jung one of the first psychologist theorized there is a woman in every man and a man in every woman. When you express your gender , weather it match your body or not , you are expressing something that is inherently yours to express.
If , I say I am Asian , when let's say I am Italian, I would be making a far greater stretch then a person expressing their gender , whichever gender they express.
Nevertheless , I would not call myself crazy , if I expressed Asian when I am Italian , after all we were all the same not very long ago.
Certainly , there are people that love Japanese food and are not Japanese , not so crazy to say many of us have some "Japanese " in us. We express it when we die over our favorite sushii place.
Winks
Lisa
I think this woman is doing something interesting, she’s helping people become what they want to become. I don’t know why people would dislike this. Some trans women do want to become hyper feminine, and they don’t know how to do it. She’s helping people with their disphoria.
if they are just naturally "real women on the inside" then they shouldn't have to be taught things. It should just come to them naturally the way it comes to other females. No one had to teach me how to walk in heels or carry myself.
IZzy Bizzy IZzy Bizzy Huh, because I’m female, and I don’t know how to do any of that shit. lol
@@izzybizzy3030 I'm a cis woman and I had to learn how to do makeup to create the appearance that I want, appropriate styling for different situations, etc. I wasn't born knowing how to do that.
IZzy Bizzy bitch you think I knew how to dress up nicely when I was younger? No, I spent hours watching TH-cam tutorials on how to dress nicely for yourself lmao. It’s not like that you’re taught how to dress nicely, I wore ugly shorts that went more than half way down thighs and fuckinh kapris who the fuck wears kapris??? And yes I’m born a girl if you’re asking. That girl is 65, she’s grown up learning how to dress like a man not a woman why would she know how to dress as a girl?
Exactly look at Blair white she’s a super feminine trans girl.
This video makes me so sad. Not because of the topic but because of the reporter that is just tearing all these lovely people down. The consultant is so nice and I have great respect for her work. Please stop making 'more feminine' people feel like femininity is a bad thing. Equal rights and feministic ideas are about having the right to make your own decisions also if this means wanting to look more like a 'traditional' feminine women. Please let people live and do not make them feel bad for helping others just because you feel like it's not modern enough.
I don't see what she said that was so offensive. People love pulling the gay or trans victim card. 😒
Agreed. Have you watched Katya Zamolodchikova's videos on this subject? She'll wear a frilly antique dress with comfy sneakers or boots, challenging anyone in the drag community to define femininity for her. Now she's a fashion icon and totally supports everyone's right to choose how to express their unique qualities. She's a joy to watch!
Missblondiam couldn’t have said it better myself
@@mandala314 Yesss I Love Katya she is amazing!!
this so much, but it also makes me sad because these clients of hers are so old and they're just now getting the chance to express themselves and be comfortable. it makes me so frustrated for all the repression and acting they had to do their whole life.
the interviewer is missing the point. the point is to help trans women conform to how they personally want to look.
That attorney was adorable
Nandy Brod Agreed, and didn’t look her age at all!
I know!! And she was like "Well my date didn't mind " when they mentioned her short dress. 10/10
What exactly is wrong with doing “traditionally feminine” things? There is nothing wrong with baking cookies or wearing heels. If that’s what you choose, more power to you. If you choose otherwise, more power to you too.
the idiotic, misogynistic host is just a modern reincarnation of the white, patriarchal men of the 50's; demonising women for their choices in an effort to take their autonomy and ability to choose away so they conform to the ideals of others
@A M. I understand what you're saying however the world in which you wished was reality is not the world we live in, men and women will never be an homogenous entity and this is not because of the desires of men being enforced upon women but rather because of the natural divergence of inclinations manifesting in different forms, femininity will always look like femininity, masculinity will always look like masculinity, testosterone and oestrogen have real, biological effects on both the body and mind and their differing manifestations present as complimentary equals and not homogenous equals, if as a woman you wish to veer off from this than that is your prerogative and makes you no less of a woman, femininity is not essential to womanhood, however it would make sense a man wishing to pass as a woman would try to adopt feminine qualities, whether they are feminine by essence or their historical association, since femininity often correlates with, and denotes womanhood, the host is implying that to adopt feminine qualities makes you less than, which is to imply feminine qualities and their manifestations are inferior by design- a very misogynistic assertion indeed, where society has gone wrong is by endowing otherwise neutral behaviours as masculine or feminine but this is not to say that feminine and masculine behaviours don't exist at all
@A M. nothing about my comment is confused; femininity can be both innate and cultural and need not be definitively one at the exclusion of the other, they are not mutually exclusive. I find it confusing you seem to be asserting that femininity does not denote womanhood, in fact at the risk of sounding frank, I find it quite absurd- if you acknowledge that men and women are different, then it stands to reason that there are specific qualities unique to each that demonstrate their separate nature from one another. Of course a man simply acting feminine does not make him a woman, and to reduce the transitional journey down to such simplistic measures is entirely reductive, whether or not one views a trans woman as a 'true woman' or not is up to individual discernment, of course there will always stand the biological difference however once the transitional journey is complete trans women do appear to be entirely female, at least on the surface, but I think its important to note that most trans women consider themselves to be 'trans women' and not 'women' anyway, and again, to reduce the trans experience down to simply "identifying with the trappings of femininity" is reductive at best and conveys an ignorance of the trans experience in its entirety. I also find it odd you seem to claim that femininity itself is not the problem whilst also denoting it as 'the trappings of femininity' in the same breath, this appears to me to be an insincere inconsistency of logic, and to claim that because one may wish to subscribe to traditional ideals of femininity that they are communicating all women must do so or risk forfeiting their womanly status is utterly ridiculous, so must women do everything in their power to not appear feminine or risk being branded as a victim of sexist stereotypes? ridiculous, that is like saying by identifying as straight you are communicating that all people must be straight too, and that to be anything but straight makes you less of a human- it is a logical fallacy. the reporter quite evidently has an issue and is deeply uncomfortable with any expressions that could be construed as feminine, that to embody femininity is instead disempowering rather than empowering, and if femininity functions to disempower its subject then you can't in good faith continue to posit that she does not see a problem with femininity itself
Actually everything is wrong with wearing heels ie rape shoes
I mean it is absolutely weird. I mean, you can like girly things and boyish things at the same time. I love wearing dresses, but I also love playing video games.
It's not a binary. You can express yourself and be who you are, but don't judge others for the same thing.
This woman makes these trans people feel good about themselves and is helping them to transition and I think thats really great . they all seem genuinely happy with her help and thats all that matters. These trans people have someone to go to and feel accepted and supported for who they truly are. And I think thats what matters most
Darian, Thank you have a nice day ❤️❤️
I would compare Monica as a feminine fairy godmother figure. Acting like a mother figure, she guides the women who come to her and helps the women find themselves.
Leading to more confident women !
“a cis woman can’t help a trans woman” is about as thoughtful a comment as “a coach can’t help a player if they haven’t been a player themselves” it’s inane.
There is no such thing as a cis woman .
I was born a woman . Im a woman .
This consultant is there for anyone who desires her services; take it or leave it; what’s to be offended about?
Sarah Michelle - exactly!
Yes! Its not like she forces anyone to do anything. Those people go to her and thats their choice. Butthurt people just need to calm down and mind their own business.
I think it’s sweet. She’s just a makeup and fashion consultant who specializes in helping people just beginning to explore a new side. Don’t hate, she isn’t saying people need to see her. She’s helping trans people who want to look more feminine do that.
As a trans guy I'd love it if a cis guy taught me how to shave my face, or stuff like that, that I didn't get taught growing up
Go to ur dad
gospelevans not everyone has a dad. So stupid comment.
@@TheSweetForever who to say they dont? Or a grandfather or male father figure for that matter?
Go figure out ur daddy issues that gave rise to ur ugly, damaged, crusty diseased heart
gospelevans you sound like you have an ugly heart here. Go figure out whatever issues you have that make you such a bitch. This person said nothing rude and was being nothing but empathetic.
@@ertfgghhhh you're really being quite critical for no reason. there are plenty of possible reasons for someone to not have a dad or a father figure they can speak to about it. maybe they're older like the first client, so any father figure would have likely passed away already. maybe they're still closeted, so they can't ask the individuals they view as a father figure. maybe the men in their lives are transphobic and refuse to interact with them for these things. the list goes on. no need to be rude.
I think the journalist takes her already feminine features for granted. She doesn’t realize how lucky she is to be able to be seen as feminine despite maybe not being a traditional feminine woman. This is something older trans women sometimes can’t relate to at all and she just doesn’t get it
Or women who arent in an art or cutting edge or 'creative' hot hip profession say... say women who's client base are stodgy ir middle aged... there are so many many reasons being able to successfully gracefully confidently put together a whole cohesive look with mastery and finesses and ease can be empowering and spectacularly improve daily quality of life !
good point
Monica is great. This reporter is the one that has some problems, in my opinion. Let women dress the way they want to dress without shaming them. Monica and her clients feel good wearing the clothes they do, fitting into the traditional archetype. This reporter feels good rejecting the archetype. The reporter talks like she feels above those who do fit into the archetype, and she isn't. Just let women feel good in clothes they feel good in.
That was the side point of this video; broaden her perspective. She came in with a certain preconceived idea of what the situation was and by the end, she saw that certain people were happy with a life-style she personally does not like. She saw the good that was done to these women.
The whole point was to show her and us things we might have preconceived notions about, and challenging them.
You did not see the reporter make fun of the consultant nor the clients by the end.
Alexis Ford thank you for
This comment, gave me some great insight
That's exactly what i thougt! You explained it really good!
YES! It's also a form of empowerment to feel good with all the cliché feminine things/styles/looks... I have friends that love to put glitter-nailpolish on, but they don't let man give them shit and they don't do anything style-wise for men, they do it for themselves. This wanna-be-woke woman just has a lot of prejudices herself.
I know! Especially when the girl called the reporter a goddess, right after that same reporter had sneered at her femininity and basically called her fake. The designer is an angel.
I notice watching this how often Monica says things like "how do you feel" and "is this comfortable?" Then offers reassurances-- "this is really cute" "you look hunky in the shoulders"-- it really shows the connection between internal feeling and external presentation, with the inside being the guiding force for the outside.
I don't know why her job is viewed as a problem. These trans women are actively seeking her out and don't have to hire her if they don't want to.
dimeface yeah I'm a bit confused as to how it is a problem, when she is literally just helping people achieve their desired look, even if she is cis! I feel like being a cis woman would make her advice more genuine. Idk why the women in the beginning are mad about it
Honestly people are just trying to make a problem out of anything and everything. If a trans woman wants to be really feminine then let them, I don't see the problem with a cis woman being sort of a guide or a "coach"
the people in the beginning of the vid who had a problem with her job aren't even trans women (dmab), so they really shouldn't even be passing judgement on it. it's not their call.
dimeface I completely agree
I work in a shoe shop and one of my favourite customers is trans. The first day I met her, she had had a super rough day being misgendered and embarrassed. As soon as she and her girlfriend asked for help I immediately addressed her and said "How can I help you lovely ladies today?" She lit up. From then on she'll only shop there if she sees I'm on shift
This woman is a saint. She just wants her clients to be safe, that's really respectable.
You shouldn't make a female feel bad for wanting to be feminine. The whole point is being able to be whoever the hell you want to be. If she wants to be feminine and do her make up and hair, LET HER!!! Just as much if someone wants to where supposed "male" clothing, LET THEM. The whole point is there being no judgemental notions whatsoever.
Shispirina someone being “classically feminine” is not discrediting people who don’t want to be. No, that’s bullshit
nowadays it seem like when you tell a female that being feminine is okay, people get offended. I mean as human being we function with concept without concept we can't communicate....
Her teaching isn't prescriptive, it's accommodating and personally relevant. It's really sweet.
I'm non-binary, and I could appreciate that she's showing people a range of ways to be high femme.
wouldn't wanna use high femme like that if i were you... it's a lesbian identity that describes how you have sex (high) and how you subvert femininity by performing it for only other women (femme). i understand what you are trying to say, but you're grossly misusing an identity with a long history and great importance in the lesbian community.
@@jenjen2239 femme is also french for feminine...
latina[]VEGAN[]gal nope! femme is French for woman or wife. please don’t spread misinformation just so you can try to invalidate my argument. there is no such thing as being “high woman/wife”, so this comment did misuse ‘high femme’.
@@jenjen2239 calm down nobady is trying to "invalidate" your comment ive never heard femme was for sex ive only been told im femme because im feminine who likes masculine women and i looked it up in the past and have seen femme also means feminine lesbian (has been used by my friends) never tried to "invalidate" the person who commented never meant any harm or to trigger you, neither did i.Also ive heard people use the word fem as a short for feminine
latina[]VEGAN[]gal you’re so close to getting it. femme isn’t about sex, but ‘high’ is.
They're right!!!?? How would a natural-born female know _AnYtHiNg_ about what living as a woman is like...
I'll remember this next time I get my kidney transplant at my local bowling alley
I really take issue with the interviewer criticizing this woman for being "something out of a rom com." How can you call yourself a feminist and then criticize a woman who wants to express herself by wearing makeup, heels etc. AND is helping non gender conforming people to achieve the image they want? Who is the open minded person here?
em D Purl82 was speaking of the consultant. Also, try and not be such a misery guts. I'm sure you'll live longer.
Aether Idol
Yes how miserable of me to not play emperor's new clothes lol.
Tbh I thought this was gonna be really transphobic and shit but I actually really like the woman who’s doing her job and the men and women she’s helping. I also thought it was really funny that two siblings both came out as trans at the same time like I think that’s adorable and awesome that they understand each other can can confide in each other. It’s really sweet
I know right? Cause the people in the beginning were so ready to throw stones and judge her with out even knowing her. It's really sad.
She is definitely a gem and an awesome person.
cullrapists FOUND the TERF
cullrapists Why would a sexist man choose to be the gender he hates and become an outcast in society? Take a step back and stop spamming the comments with your bs.
exactly how i feel. i’m glad these ladies are getting these chances!
I'm a cis woman and I consider myself feminine & a feminist; I think the consultant is doing a wonderful job helping her clients and the lady attorney looks great an professional.
agree!
Yup the clients seem happy so why not?
Same!:)
+Ord Grill If you consider yourself a feminist you must either not well enough informed or a sexist man hater.Feminism is absolutely not needed in U.S. anymore.And even if it was it doesn't stand for equal rights,not anymore.It stands for female superiority,which is sexist and unoforgivable. Such movements have no place in today's world and should be eradicated.BLM and feminism are cancer to the world.
Same!
Oh gosh. This is the second time I'm watching this interviewer and I still don't like her approach at all... Damn!
Yeah. Unfortunate but true.
Well she is at least approaching this from an honest perspective. I respect that.
Damien Carter but news and interviewing shouldnt be biased
@@dpcisunbreakable
She's an interviewer trying to play judge.
@@yikesman72 I don't disagree with that, but I believe this is channel that is independent and does not have to follow yhe protocol of mainstream news. Besides that, her biases created an interesting final product, I think.
This woman is the ultimate ally. She is amazing!
Jake Dean The more people supporting something the stronger it makes the cause don’t “need” allies but there wonderful and helpful people who want to support that’s what allies are.
@@someonesour i wont support pointless trash
@@thoticcusprime9309 that's totally fine, as long as you don't expect the pointless trash to support you
They’re just people like you and me they just live and think differently. They have just as much to offer the world as you and I do. These people are fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers and they are all sons and daughters of someone. They are farmers, storekeepers, soldiers and doctors they are just people like you and myself. They are good and they also have bad ones just like the circles you and I run with. They’re just people and they deserve to be happy in whatever way they can be that’s true to themeselves so long as it isn’t inflicting negative impacts on the people in their lives. When I was sworn in I took an oath to protect and defend the constitution from enemies both foreign and domestic and that counts for the entire country not just a small portion of it. Granted I was kicked out from getting put on probation at a really young age when I first joined but that oath I took didn’t make a difference. People are just people and in my eyes they all matter regardless of ideals and beliefs.
@@laurelalloro
As if he needed it
it really is not feminist to bash women who enjoy "traditional" femininity. feminism is about understanding and supporting a wide range of experiences, wants ,and needs!
Maddy Thompson it's not traditional. There are standards all over the world and this one consultant couldn't take it there
I have learnt something from this video.
Be more like Monica, be less like Michelle.
Because at the end of the day most trans people doesn't wanted to be treated 'special' because they're trans, they just want to be part of the society aka blending in. If Monica able to do that, then why are you should be judging her???????
As a trans man I always want to dress and look so stereotypically masculine so no one can read me, no one can tell. I think what she's doing is incredibly important
i totally agree with the last person at the start - if this is what they want, then it should absolutely be alright! if you want to be super 'traditionally feminine' then why the fuck would this not be okay? i love how she acts with her clients and Kristen is such a gorgeous soul - this is super lovely,
plus, sure _michelle_ doesn't personally want to conform to society but for a trans woman who's maybe getting on a little, so what if she wants to become the ideal kind of femininity that she was brought up on? i say live and let live, this is a great idea for some and not so much for others, and that's how most things are.
Lollipop Lou I agree with you! I have often wondered if such services were available to Trans Women, and I am so glad to know that this gal is helping the women who want to be more feminine to become that way!
Everyone, needs a little help at some time , so why should trans women be any different? I am sure it can be very scary for these gals , who have waited to be female , to find a way to present in the way they have dreamed of. Soooo, if there are folks out there that want a little help in realizing that goal, it is an wonderful to take advantage of the opportunity. A dear friend of mine from HS transitioned last year.... I have seen pics of her and her other trans friends, and they all can definitely can use a bit of tweaking here and there, since they are new to this...
Any woman would want to go to a makeup artist or stylist to find the right colors, hairstyles, and clothing that would work for her, trans or not....
I think this is just such a great and compassionate service to offer to trans women!
They ACT like stereotype pink pink pink versus blue " females". Caused by the extreme old fashioned fifties tradition of pink versus blue in the US. We luckily do not know that in Europe. Guys will die as the males they always were. It is by definition impossible to change sex. Gender ( in the meaning it has since the sixties) is a word made up in the US by the pharmaceutic industry. They earn millions at these perverted depressed degenerated decadent idiots who lack any talent to count their blessings. Trying to change sex never will solve a depression. It will work for some years. Most of the time with an emotional victim in the family. An exchange of positive and negative energies.
I think it's frankly disgusting what that lady's view on femininity is. She's acting as if it's a bad thing. She says she's a feminist meanwhile shaming cis and trans women for being feminine.
I totally agree. If someone wants a service like this why shouldn't someone else help them? Lets not go pushing own visions of gender onto others. No one is a shit feminist if they like to do traditional roles or dress in a 'super feminine' way and no one is shit person for dressing however they want to. Live, love and let other live their lives unjudged
Lollipop Lou .
Why is the reporter so concerned with how Monica is so traditionally feminine? If that's how she wants to act and look, it's not very feminist of her to be constantly putting her down, saying she looks like she belongs in a rom-com, or making fun of how she might put lotion on when she's alone. If that's how she wants to be, what's so wrong with that? For me personally, I love the look of the 50's housewife, baking cookies and cleaning her home while her husband is at work, and looking and acting like that would be for ME, not any man. I also have huge respect for all of the women that are doctors and lawyers, and supporting themselves in the world, all of the women that don't find much enjoyment in perfecting their makeup everyday and cooking dinner for a man. Isn't the point of feminism supposed to be that women can choose ANY kind of life they want to live, even if that is a stereotypical housewife?
Isabel The Look of the housewife? Not wearing makeup is related to not cooking for your man? You sound super pretentious. You perpetually relate fashion and makeup to the feminine power which is to create and nourish life. You've been brainwashed by marketing and advertising firms. A woman actually getting shit done at home around the house and actually being present focused on raising her children right and engaging with her husband is not worried about such ridiculous shit as fashion and most definitely not makeup.
Juliana Silva You sound like a fucking militant dictator. Liberation is freedom to choose. Not every female will fall in lockstep with your trendy version of modern feminism. Many women have goals outside of the almighty dollar and what luxuries it can buy. But your government thanks you for joining the workforce, buying more shit, and helping to produce more shit. Biggest revenue grab in history that boosted GDP to make the US an economic powerhouse all in the name of modern feminism. Run along sheep.
Isabel, SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK (I don't think they heard you the first time)
You are absolutely right, feminism is absolutely and completely about the right to choose.
Let's simplify this right down for the folks who honestly don't seem to get it, it may not be rocket science, but it still seems to be beyond them.
Imagine a country where you have to eat icecream, and all ice-cream flavours are banned, except strawberry. The only flavour dairies sell is strawberry, the only tubs of ice-cream available are strawberry, and you can't travel to another country because of the ice-cream police.
Now for some people this is fine, they love strawberry ice-cream, and although some wouldn't mind other flavours for a change, on the whole it doesn't worry them.
For others they crave chocolate, goodie goodie gumdrops, vanilla..... Or they simply can't stand strawberry. it makes them ill. And some others would rather skip dessert altogether,
And so the discontented started working and campaigning for the right to any flavour ice-cream they want, or none at all. Many of those who like strawberry and are already happy decided to join the fight as well, after all, it is only chance that they love strawberry, don't others also deserve the chance to have the flavour they love, even if it is cookies and cream, or rum and raisin?
Well eventually, after many years, and some issues with the cost and availability of other flavours. things began to settle down, they weren't perfect, but in most places they were good. Then something strange started to happen. Some people still loved strawberry, but now others started coming up to them, telling them they should be ashamed of themselves, that many people fought so that they could choose a different flavout. "But strawberry is my favourite" they would protest, only to be told they weren't true icecream fans, and despite explainations that the whole point is now everyone gets to choose their favourite flavour and that is what they fought for, But people tell the poor strawberry fans that they are stopping everyone else enjoying their icecream, and that if the strawberry fans aren't careful, they will cause the icecream ban to be brought back.
Yes, the example is silly, but the point is, fighting for the right to go from one option to many options for everyone doesn't suddenly make the original option wrong for everybody. And choosing that option doesn't mean you cant want others to be allowed to choose different options. And if wearing makeup and nice clothes while being a housewife makes someone happy, then it is none of your business because there isn't one right way to eat strawberry icecream, any more than there is a right flavour of icecream
Sincerely, a millennial who understands that we don't all have to be the same to all support each other and protect each other's rights
@@susanwilliams2392 Best comment
I agree with your point, I think an extremely important part of feminism is to have a choice in how you live as a woman. I find it easy to interpret what the reporter said as just simply speaking for herself based on her own life experiences as a woman- but yeah the point is it's worth remembering that how a woman chooses to live isn't as important as her having a choice to choose begin with
"There are a lot of transgender women out there who do not want to conform to that standard of feminity" - Then don't hire her, gosh.
TolgaDur very true lol
yes but obviously it's important to point that out, that not every transwoman wants to be 50's housewife, as to avoid reinforcing negative and untrue stereotypes
NathanRomml but the trans in the video DOES so why does it matter
NathanRomml I agree, but just to be clear, adopting a traditional feminine appearance and fashion style does not automatically mean wanting to be a 50s housewife. Anyone who thinks so should take a walk downtown and look at the number of highly educated, professional women who hold influential positions in large companies, in government and in many other walks of life who choose to wear very nice dresses, heels, "feminine" hairstyles, painted nails and makeup everyday. They are definitely not 50s housewives; however, they are also definitely not feminist sellouts who have accepted that they must look pleasing to men (in a traditionally feminine sense) in order to "get ahead" in a man's world (as many third wave feminists would have us all believe). The men in the equivalent positions with whom these women deal everyday wear expensive suits, properly fitted shirts, fancy ties, nice shoes, shave, keep their hair and nails well groomed etc. These men don't do this to impress the women in the office - they do it because (a) that is the standard of appearance expected of them and (b) most of them feel their strongest, most powerful and most effective when dressed in the "powerful" look of a well-tailored suit! It says, "I am good at what I do and quite successful at it - take me seriously." Professional women can choose to wear pants, pant suits or even men's suits, if they wish - nobody really cares (anymore :-D).
I was recently at a military formal gala where people could choose to wear military formal dress or civilian black tie. Most men wore the standard issue male mess dress (as that particular military uniform is called); a few, however, chose to wear dinner jackets (aka tuxedos). Regardless of their individual choices, they all looked quite dashing :-) Most serving military women, on the other hand, chose to wear civilian gowns and all the accompanying accessories. Interestingly, many of the women who chose to wear military mess dress wore unofficial, but widely accepted, "modified" versions of it. Most wore the floor length skirt (the "proper" bottom for female mess dress) and the jacket (which is essentially the same as the male jacket), but replaced the female cowl neck shirt (which is, admittedly, not very flattering) with a men's dress shirt and black bow tie. I did see one woman who chose to wear pants with her mess dress; however, they were not exactly male trousers because these uniforms are tailor made for each individual (yes, we have to purchase them out of our own pockets :-) and she had them properly fitted to her female body. Regardless of skirt or pants, cowl neck or bow tie, however, all the women I saw in mess dress that night were wearing high heels. (I won't say what I wore to that particular event.)
My point is that ciswomen are free to choose how "traditionally feminine" they wish to appear. Given that choice, yes, many of them do opt for less traditionally feminine styles, often choosing many "traditionally masculine" elements (though, rarely entire "men's" outfits). However, a large number of intelligent, well-educated, highly paid women in positions of power and influence across a wide variety of sectors in society choose a traditionally feminine appearance because it makes them feel good - it gives them power, boosts their self-confidence, affirms their womanhood and makes them feel really good about themselves, just as a well-tailored suit coupled with a pair of expensive leather dress shoes gives many men power, boosts their self-confidence, affirms their manhood and makes them feel really good about themselves!!!
"50s housewives" were trapped in a life of limited choices wherein their (ultra)feminine appearance (along with certain biological realities) was used as a weapon of oppression by a male dominated society. Thankfully, (second wave) feminism brought an end to that sad state of affairs; however, the baby was thrown out with the bath water when a traditionally feminine appearance became a symbol of "bad feminism." As feminism moved into its third wave, despite the many positive evolutions, such as increased awareness of intersectionalism, support for lesbian rights and the recognition that there is a vast world of problems facing the hundreds of millions of girls and women who live outside North America, that came with it, many unsuspecting women soon found themselves under the heels of new oppressors - radical feminists who believe men are evil incarnate and that any woman who freely chooses to express traditional femininity is a sellout who has betrayed every other female on the planet. This radfem oppression is as sad as the "patriarchy" it replaced; a clear case of "meet the new boss; same as the old boss." Feminism is about letting (all) women enjoy equal opportunity, equal access, equal compensation, equal recognition and equal respect for their individual choices as any other person (male or female), regardless of how "feminine" or "masculine" (or androgynous) they choose to dress or behave. This applies to transwomen as well as ciswomen (with the exception of certain reproductive rights and issues that do not apply to transwomen - a point many sjw transadvocates need to understand and respect!).
Sorry for the longish rant, but I just had to get all that off my chest.
I love her, she's not telling them that they HAVE to be this certain feminine way, she's helping them find the way that makes them feel empowered, and safe
The first trans woman in this video looked so happy and beautifull when she pierced her ears . What a great job to make people happy .
maruxa cabaleiro saco wow
What the consultant is doing is coming up with a look that
1. The client wants
2 the look she is going for is not extreme-a tailored work look for the first client and secretary and second client.
What is up with the reporter? Very negative-she is bringing her own dislike of extreme feminine stereotypes to this process.
as a trans female I adore someone like this it's very rare to find somebody that may possibly understand how you might feel this is amazing
@Juliana Silva what did you achieve by writing this comment? you're just being a troll.
I think she should pay for that adult barbie fetish shes got going on there. Plus trans people need jobs and job reform is needed since the whole job search thing is just a great way to steal peoples identities.
@@FR-eu3ch Actually no, cis people get "corrected" all the time and constantly told what we say is wrong even when there's obviously no ill intention.
"Trans female" is incorrect. As many times as I've been told gender =/= sex and straight up harassed and threatened because I used the term interchangeably. This person needs to get it right, there's no such thing as a "trans female".
@@eekk2212 i think the actual trans woman who wrote this comment and the trans guy you've now decided to pick a bone with no better than you, but nice try. it's a diverse community and we can personally define ourselves how we like
@Juliana Silva Who says?
I was so confused when I heard the second person say she found it weird that a cis woman would teach a trans woman what it means to be a woman... They have literally been one their entire lives?
And there is a definition of femininity! otherwise trans wouldn't even be a thing? There seems to be such a confused rhetoric in the left recently whereby they want everyone to let them be how they want, except those who don't fit what they think is right... let her get her nails done if she wants to tf?
Its such a shame because Kristen was an amazing person
@@ineskenny8090 I've been saying this FOREVER. Pretending like gender norms don't exist completely diminishes transpeoples very real experiences! Just bc one person doesn't fit into gender norms it doesn't mean they don't exist
@@sydneynicole837 I'm slightly confused by your reply. I was making a point about the existence of femininity and that a cis woman is perfectly capable of teaching that to someone who wants to learn to be that way. Could you rephrase or expand on what you mean? thanks :)
@@ineskenny8090 lol I'm just agreeing with you😂
the attorney looked so freaking gooood omg. look how happy they seemed to be
It's unerving that some of these people are bashing the "classic feminine" look/persona as if it's archaic and outdated. I am a classic feminine woman and I don't see anything wrong with being me. I love who I am and I will support anyone whose inner beauty wants to be a classic feminine person. Just like ying and yang, I believe that the difference between masculine and feminine engery is beautiful in its own respect and we should respect each other for how we want to present ourselves to the world.
Caille T yes! Agree totally. A little bold to assume embracing it is implies you don't know yourself, isn't it?
* yin and yang
I agree, I'm a classic feminine woman as well and I feel feminists bash me the most for it, because it's too "cliche" or too appeasing to men. There really is something against feminine women these days.
i hate to break it to you but there has always been something against feminine women- as well as non-feminine women. both are vehemently shit upon. i've seen unmasculine women downright demonized and told they're unlike women/not real women in mainstream liberal feminist media.
I saw this more like a mom showing her kids how to do their hair and make up, this woman isn't going out evilly seeking out trans people and telling them how to dress or express themselves, trans women choose to come to her, see that she is glamorous and want to know how to get that image
This is a good service that this woman is offering, regardless of the gender expression of the client.
Exactly! Alot of business professionals got to professionals to learn skills and things and this includes image etiquette communication and social coaches. Its jist picking up skills! For success in various forums! Which is a sensible positive confident thing to do. Everybody dosen't know everything but we have a rright to explpte and grab opportunities to learn things of interest to us ! GEE!
She's a true life fairy godmother. We need more compassion in the world.
Monica is an ANGEL! She is making these trans womens' soul sing!
We need EMPATHY SHARING OF SHARED INTERESTS and SOLIDARITY !
This reporter is SO off-putting. Listening to her consistently belittle people who want to embrace their femininity is cringey. Sometime I like to dress really feminine and sometime I dress more androgynous. Whatever makes ME feel good. I don't know why this reporter is so up in arms about people wanting to be themselves.
I see what you mean. I was gratified hat she seemed to have learned at least a teeny bit.
What!? No she wasn't. . . Wtf! She simply Owned up to her initial differing views but never did she make it sound like her viewpoint was superior. In fact.. by the end she seemed completely understanding and accepting of their differences. You yourself would make a Terrible reporter because you seem like a terribly bias individual. My guess, is you didn't like her from the start and looked for the slightest sign that may prove your argument, when in actuality, this video shows people of two different lifestyle coming together to accept one anothers. I myself am Trans MTF, and I really enjoyed Both if these ladies and their viewpoints. They seemed very fond of each other by the end. And I Love both examples of a lady they have to teach a trans like me.. I have my feminine moments, but I will forever be a tomboy. Great video! 😊
At one point she comments about stereotypes, and not liking the image of a 50s housewife. I'd like to ask her why she's wearing red lipstick and nail polish. Aren't those stereotypes..? And who is it who decides which ones are done for men..?
I actually agreed with her initially, she viewed the situation as wrong because she didn’t ever want to associate femininity with makeup, hair, nails etc and that’s what they were doing. But then learnt that it was an experimental portion to then develop into personalization
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this was actually a really uplifting doc. some ppl may take issue with the stuff that was said but at the end of the day this girl is helping people who are transitioning feel more comfortable in theory own skin either before they get surgery or even without having to resort to surgery at all.
their
+Brian She doesn't only give you verbal consulting, she also has physical items that she uses during her consulting, so that's probably where the price tag comes into.
She is not only 'consulting' in the verbal thing. She also throws in gear and clothes to follow through yourself. It is a package, if i got it right. And i don't think she wants to take advantage of anyone.
"Someone wants to wear a dress, let them wear a dress " end of story
Again, this is just a prime example of how people need to mind their own business and quit sticking their opinions in things that don't have anything to do with them. Everyone interviewed about how they felt about this woman, someone they never knew and never heard of, and what she was doing needed to chill out. It's not about you. She's doing so many people a great service. And saving lives. And everyone wanted to condemn her for it. Bullshit.
I was thinking the same thing. They think they're so progressive, yet they are constantly making it about themselves, when it's not. No one forces them to conform to the feminine standard of beauty. They can wear whatever they want and make their own choices, co why won't they let trans people do the same?
Women should wear whatever we want. But that's not the end of the story. Part of the reason the women in this doc are seeking help to conform to gender stereotypes is that women who don't conform to femininity are targeted & harassed--cis & trans women both face this. Also, appearance plays a huge role in career & financial success. Not because women who conform to feminine standards are better at their jobs, but because our culture discriminates against women who don't conform & rewards women who do.
So that's the 'feminist issue' the host is raising. She's not questioning these women's right to wear whatever they want, she's just talking about the political context around our choices. Because our choices don't happen in a vacuum. The personal IS political. The pressure on women to conform to beauty standards is harmful to girls and women, harmful to our self-esteem and wellbeing. To me, the host is pointing out the political context to the issue of gender expectations, gender conformity, gender stereotypes.
She is an awful person . She is one of those toxic feminists , who are not actually feminists but those horrible women who think "all men should die" and like wearing t shirts that have stuff like "I bathe in men's tears" written on it . Doing more damage than equality in society. In the documentary about the only all-woman village in the whole of Africa , she said something really sexist and laughed and THAT WAS IT FOR ME !!!
@@macwacko111 , well, at least you openly admit the term 'male fragility' applies to you.
@@johnnydtractive Lol wut ??? 0_o dude I am pretty sure you either have no idea what male fragility means , or completely miss understood what I wrote XD
What the reporter doesn't understand is that as much as YOU don't want to be that 'typical' feminine image you describe, SOME people DO. And when people take a conscious decision to feminise themselves, that is as empowering as you rejecting that typical feminine image.
SuperNeontrix exactly! She was sooo annoying, making it all about her.
SuperNeontrix Exactly! I dislike the reporter.
SuperNeontrix I hate when feminists think that being feminine=sexism. Femininity doesn't mean that your being like some 50s show or I heart Lucy. It's like how some men enjoy being masculine but don't relate it to being the sexist idea that men are stupid or they're strength over wits. I think it's actually regressive to say that we should never follow the feminine rule because guess what, there are no rules to gender except for the ones that you lay down for yourself and if you think that just because a person wants to be "super feminine" is sexist, well then your making it sexist for your self.
but when someone makes a tvshow or movie or somehting and makes a character that is, what happens? they get told "stop giving into sterotypes"
I'm so glad other people feel the same way i do about this reporter coz i thought that maybe it's me. She's not good at what she does at all! She's extremely bias and it's annoying and very unprofessional, she was doing the same thing on another documentary called "Thee land of no Men: Inside Kenya's Women-Only village", she was basically harassing and being passive aggressive and condescending to the men she was interviewing there who were voicing their opinions about the matter, and i was thinking how dare you travel from some European country to these people village and tell them how they should live their lives and disrespect them in that way, it's like her point of view is the right way to think and any other point of view is wrong smh.
I want more Monica. Monica should have her own show.
this, so much!
pleaseeee
This is so beautiful. What a lovely service Monica is providing. I'm so happy for her and her clients. Thanks for covering this story, Broadly.
The interviewer was quite negative/judgmental, imo. A little frustrating but I noticed this was from 2016. I hope she's learned a lot between now and then.
Yeah, but let's please take a moment to appreciate how beautiful that first trans lady looks! Omg, she entered the building like a plain, gray figure and ended up looking so content, self confient and beautiful!! I loved her!
There is something very wrong with you.
Totally! She just was so pretty with her pierced ears
I totally agree ...
I agree, it made me tear up a lot. I could tell she felt so much happier and confident after dressing nicely.
Ikr!! She especially looked so happy to know she was going to get her ears pierced that day ♥
Dude the attorney looks so good, she literally looks so cute and even has the mannerisms of being a trophy wife, get it girl
That, Ms. Finch, totally made my day. Thank you.
Ah! It’s you Kristen! You look amazing and so happy being your genuine self!
Amber Lopez Totally true. I’ve never been better. And Monica’s help was truly wonderful in helping me get here.
A simple google search of my name will demonstrate just how important she’s been.
Kristen Browde Awe you replied! I’m a conservative and I know a lot of conservatives aren’t supportive, but being a youth in that movement allows me to speak to people who may not understand and help them. I hope that you have happiness in your life and you look beautiful! Go out there and kick ass girl.
Jean P. G. Oh hush, dislike it as much as you want but she isn’t affecting you at all. You don’t have to like her, but if you don’t, just don’t speak to her, there’s no reason for your paths to cross in the first place.
Trans people are allowed to want to be gender conforming, just like cis people are. Wanting to pass and be comfortable isn’t conforming to archaic standards of gender.
I appreciate this woman for trying to offer these women and folks her services. It can help them both pass and feel confidence in how they look.
I am a woman and I love my femininity and I love to dress up feminine, it's my taste and that's how I like it. I wouldn't want to be ridiculed for what I choose personally for myself.