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Become a Better Listener I Robert Greene
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ส.ค. 2024
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"You are More Interested in Yourself"..... wow!!
Ikr 😅 I think am that person. Working on it
@@ndiekwere6027yeah that was my instant thought too 😅 i believe I could and can be a better friend, daughter, wife, mother…
Yh I think that person I just didn’t realize it till now
Shouldn't it be obvious?
Listening is an art. Even if you train professionally, it all goes out the window in an anxiety.
Studies have shown that reading fiction helps greatly. It makes people more attuned to the thoughts of others. A good writer is required to understand people and their thoughts and behaviours in order to write realistic, relatable characters.
Out of EVERY video I've seen discussing active listening, THIS cuts deep! This is the answer! It's been bothering me for a while now, but i am confident that this is the right answer!
When your awe struck reading an exciting book or watching a movie you can’t wait for the next page or next episode. Your enamored with the presentation. Your not in your own head, your present in the action and it grips you. Be in others moments so they can be in yours. A full vessel can’t take on more water.
Well said my friend!
Well what then? When they’re not as gripping as that book?! I’m serious
I always thought I was a good listener until my practicum during my education to become a mental health therapist. It became my turn to be the therapist in a mock interview. After it was over the instructor asked me how the 'patient' felt. Not what they said - but the feelings they were conveying. My mind was completely blank! And now 20 some years later I have learned how complex good listening really is. Good listening is a skill you have to learn for the majority of people. It starts with caring about what someone else is saying but there is much more to it.
As a therapist when I'm listening I'm considering five different things: the story they're telling, their feelings, the meaning the story has to them, their body language which might just be their voice if we're on the phone and the superpower of all which is what they're not saying. What they leave out is often the key to where the problem lies!
I've always wondered how it is that we can know that there is something missing when we're talking to someone for the first time. And now I love being able to listen that well whether I'm working or not. You'd be amazed what you can find out from doing that. But you do have to put any of your thoughts aside and just process what the person is saying. It took me years to be able to do all that at one time.
When I'm feeling good, this is what I can do
This comment is GOLD! Thank you!
I suffer from ADD & interrupting others has always been a bad habit that's hard to control. But that's so selfish to interrupt.
I'm going to Filp that Around!!!😊
I known what you mean I catch myself doing that as well
I think he’s saying, that it is selfish of the people who keep saying “to be a better listener.
Because he said, “but patterns are hard to break”.
Then, he also said, “INSTEAD get inside their head“.
I feel we have similarities after reading your comment 🤔 My mom & dad we’re both talkers so I lost my voice & found it with others after I grew up until I talked there ears off & lost one friend after another. One friend stayed to listen, he said, tell me what’s on your mind! And after I said, as much as I felt, I could, he said, tell me more, after I talked again he said, tell me more! I then experienced freedom from the fear of not being heard, and broke down crying, and he hugged me, and I cried more! We are still best friends today, and a part of me is healed! I pray you receive this unconditional love! ❤️🔥😊🙏
@@hearinglovea lovely story. Made me cry. 😬 😄 ❗ 😘
Legend Robert Greene Sir
"Listen and silent are the same words just misspelled"🤓😉🧐
Wow I appreciate the enlightenment
So true! As a former reporter, my advice to dating is simple: Shut up and really listen and ask meaningful questions or your story will lack real substance when it comes time to write it.
Reality check AND great advice! Thank you
Is guy is gold standard ❤
Wisdom 💎
So many of his contributions ultimately are about empathy. Put yourself in the role of the other.
That is true. I am more interested in myself, 99% of the time. I have good reasons for that
We feel the same
Thank You ....... Amen ....... 🙏😇
THIS IS KNOWLEDGE 101 AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
If you don't want to listen then don't be a part of or near the noise. Some aren't worth hearing. But if compensation is involved be competent and make it mostly/exclusively about them.
Well said mate, thank you
@@keyboardlevelover Thanks for the thanks.
Isn’t this non empathetic as he is advising tho? So no empathy ?
I’m seriously faking bc I feel like I see this everyday .
I’m definitely working on making the switch
Im like this also but when I'm around I person I admire im all ears or person know something I'm trying to learn. Or a person who has experience that I want to know about!
THAT BACKGROUND IS 🔥🔥🔥
I love the way you teach♥️
This is great, 🙏
The thing is the people I’m listening to a lot of the time aren’t talking about anything really interesting. So I tune out. I could listen to TH-cam videos all day about really interesting things but with regular people, I just don’t seem to get to those interesting topics.
People that are like this are usually FANTASTIC listeners…. When you aren’t talking to them. If you’re having a private conversation with someone ELSE, they will tune in to every fkng word
Bingo!
Lol
True thats me
Dude! True story!
His demeanor here lowkey be reminding me of yoda... that is if yoda was in human form lol. Such a wise man.🤣
This is the wisest way to say it
I know I'm not a good listener still till this day, swear Robert knows me somehow.. I've always realized I'm not good at listening but even when I do practice I still catch myself at times.... it's mostly cause my mind starts wandering, and just how he said in another video , they mention something specific during their talk like a camping trip, or a hike they did, and you start to think about your own experiences while camping or hiking.. sometimes a way for this to work for me, what I do sometimes is picture in my head their story as if I was there with them or I'm imagining them camping or whatever it is they're story is about... that really helps, my mind just carries so much at times.. sometimes I also have so many thoughts going on, I still hear them in the back of my head and when they ask me something, I'm still able to answer it no matter how lost I am in my thoughts.. question what could that be or mean??
You just described me mate, we need answers
Thank you for saving me 20 minutes of tedtalk for this wisdom I got in 30 seconds
This is true.
That is True. I didn't care about what people think or feel. Now I'm trying hard to be interested in them and less in my thoughts.
But you should care. We are here to grow and evolve, and that involves not being self centered.
*Excellent educational experiential analysis.*
“Suspending your own perspective” - is the hottest comment I ever read, on what it means to listen. And it’s in these comments.
I need to hear why empathy is entwined/percieved as not entwined though. Because I’m highly empathetic, and because I never trusted my own perspective, i decided to seek out objectivity, and went to university.
So now my perspective is premised in a collection of solid repeated studies, I memorized, on how to figure something out.
So when people are telling me a problem, I’m empathetically reviewing in my mind what research might help solve their case. But at same time, apparently that comes off as not listening.
And that is my conundrum.
True words spoken,when someone does not listen to you he/ she is not interested in you ,that is it😮😢
I totally agree
The reason I don’t want to hear people and I mostly want to hear myself and just hear things that prove what I think is because I’m egocentric
Yeah, I am more interested in myself. I also like myself more than anyone else and prefer my own company to anyone... Life is beautiful 😍
What about people who ask you, how was your weekend, just so they can talk about their weekend for 20 mins straight?
Easy, 🤷🏼♂️ : nothing eventful, hey. How's work? 😏 🧘🏿♂️
I know.
Somtimes i purposely make my eyes look like they left the conversation, so the person realizes im not listening.
They usually catch on and cut it short.
🙈
Wouldnt that still mean you arent a good listener?? I've had moments like that but I think it just means I gotta still practice on being a good listener. Even if its 20 minutes long,
@@almareyes2192 thats kind of u.
For me, i am selective listener if its a bad day or very busy day at work.
Only ask when you have time and patience and interested in that person or blood relation, including spouse.
Golden.
Sound truth!
You use so much more than your ears when listening.
That’s so true!
So true.
1000%. The world is full of these self-absorbed people now. When you sense this, run.
Tricky to think of non invasive questions and not sounding like an interrogation or like asking to judge good category or bad category. Here people drill you with questions sometimes all the way down to practically asking for your street address. Sometimes it can be hard to tell what people's intentions are..especially when Minnesota nice can often be sugar coated passive aggressiveness. Its not always about being interested in yourself more, some people just dont care or have the energy to or underestimate the payoff
I have talk to good friends who are offended when I ask questions during the story
So this clip isn’t enough full advice for me apparently
Such a wise man.
Absolutely.
No one defines how a good listener can know that they’re good at listening. Is it judged based off of feedback from the other person? Is it judged by how much you remember or know about the person you were listening to?
Thank you Robert
It s true I'm good listener right now you focus on me
Well said! I have been introduced to a concept of life where all is about love of self or love of others. The love of self can be called selfishness, self first and foremost. The love of others can be consideration for others and the sharing of this existence with others. Listen to others and you just might grow. Just my independent opinion.
“Always consider the source”, is a saying. A very wise important adage.
My brain is constantly contrasting what somebody is telling me , Listening vigilantly, against studies that I think might help validate them, or nudge them , gently , towards some scientifically proven concept , that may resolve their issue.
Is this listening? And trying to help, empathetically? Or is this mere annoyance?
Because now I’m sincerely confused.
If I am merely listening, knowing everything I would do in their situation, Premised on repeatedly confirmed scientific studies..? And I never voice any of it in between? It’s not that I’m not empathetic my mind just shuts off because I’m an analyst so you want consultant advice, or not? On the other hand, I’d like for someone to tell me exactly how they appreciate communication. For example, if an attorney I have to think about what information you are asking of me in deliverance of the fax. If you are friend same way. Which way do you think? If you are a therapist what are the non-important things to hear back? If you are a professor that I feel I’m familiar with and I talk to you like a professor.
Urs is a really good advice
Very true
So true
So true,
When you start to understand that you’ve become a better listener, it is a powerful day because now you know you can get anyone to tell you anything.
Basically, an empath! 🤷🏼♂️ 😏
Yes.
That’s one good thing about me I got many personality tests and I’m actually the opposite I’m very interested in other people and I don’t like sharing about myself because I don’t find myself interesting at all thank God I got that going for me
This guy is much more interested in his own thoughts than any of ours I guarantee it
He's being interviewed and you are not
True.
Listening and empathy are deeply intertwined. Listening is about suspending your own perspective. It’s also the most effective route to seamless, strong relationships
This is the hottest comment I ever read, on what it means to listen - “Suspending your own perspective”.
I need to hear why empathy is intertwined though. Because I’m highly empathetic, and because I never trusted my own perspective, i decided to look at objectivity, and went to university.
So now my perspective is premised in a collection of solid repeated studies, I memorized, on how to figure something out.
So when people are telling me a problem, I’m empathetically reviewing in my mind what research might help solve their case. But at same time, apparently that comes off as not listening.
And that is my conundrum.
Nailed
That's facts sheesh
I've been a better listener
AMEN
I want to put in this link on the comments section for every Wall Street Journal article
Remixed The Love Wall # indulge in Love🔥💯👍
Facts
I find that interesting more people are interested in themselves hmmm than why is it so hard for people to truly love themselves??? You would think since folks are so into them it would be easier to love themselves but I come in contact with so many folks who simply don't care for themselves
I have a totally different problem. I've been surrounded by ppl who enjoy their privacy. It's not that I don't wanna know. It's that I'm convinced ppl will think I'm nosey or prying if I ask. I talk about me cuz I don't give a damn about my own privacy and I figure if ppl want to talk about themselves they'll bring it up on their own. 😅
😢trying
True
I've heard it said that this is why we have two ears and one mouth, to listen twice as much as we speak.
Some people are more interesting than others
What's in it for them? What do we agree on? Focus on that.
Beautiful ❤️ I was verbose and talkative as a YA and started listening more as I realised I wasn't the sun moon and earth and everyone had something to offer
I finally settled down with a woman so I listen probably 90% of the time now. I compensate by talking to my cat more and even the plants - they don't seem to mind. I look it as a spiritual exercise.
I did that to my ex. Talked way too much didn’t listen enough and he left me. You’re being very patient 😂
👏🏽
People who talk alot didn't get the attention they needed when they were children no one listened to them, they were often ignored especially by parents and teachers
When I 've learnt how to listen others, understand their wishes and motives, I became disgusted with most of whom i listened carefully.
I always had it where I cared more about them than me. I am trying to help them understand what I mean by build the new facility's until there isn't anyone left to ask for money because they thought they made money by raping me and my kids while threatening my disabled brother and others. We need to get that stopped instead of just telling me not to talk about it and pretend it didn't happen.
How do you get inside rejection? How would you team up with someone against yourself?
Moreover, let's imagine it is possible, how would that look like from the third point of view?
Love my friends, but they can talk for two hours non-stop about what they like and are doing. I can't even get a yes or yeh in that conversation, or should i say radio broadcast. I am the greatest listener, because if it wasn't for love of others, i would walk away. Love is the foundation and pillar of listening.
💎
Wow
❤️
wow….
If you take the attitude that every person you meet is an expert in something it helps. Try it :) helped me lots
Hmmm 🤔 yeah I that can obviously be true, I recently discovered that the emotional pain I'm constantly stuck in has me preoccupied. It's difficult for me to listen because of a huge "bloody" wound in my mind, I guess I am selfish.. hmmm
So well put
@@AllahthetruthIslamthewayTasnim Q and not U, if you're going through it. All I can recommend is consciousness. Becoming more and more aware of your thoughts and emotions and asking yourself these questions. There's no right or wrong when asking yourself these things. It's hard, but ultimately worth it. Stay present and aware. Much love
Well some should be helped more than others since they might need it more and could do better with it and help more its simple math if u want to maximize help.
If u dont then why care about selfishness in the first place urs can also be true and depending on context more priority/true.
Context matters
Ror example adhd meds bigger priority than the adhd person making ur taxreturns and deniong it befor the other is like asking a person with legs that dont move until after surgery to run to show gratitude of surgerey first and buy stuff and run to u and give it as help. It just is not selfish of the person to prioritice that firstx opportunity cost:
Society generally atteibutes some opportunity cost to each individual so yes people get some stuff since the cost to impact ratio can be very high when it could be lower and lower the lire help u give depending on context.
Anyway the usual stuff i was thunking abut at 13 im sure im just repeating a p’atitude here/preaching to quire
Isn’t he saying, the people who say, “be a better listener, are the selfish ones”?
Because that’s what I heard, when he said , “it’s hard to change certain patterns , and instead, get inside their mind“.
But most of the comments here, seem to have missed that.
So if two expert listeners collide do they not speak?
How to flip it?
Imagine this: everyone is dressed in a tan coat. But each coat is lined in a wildly colored silk print. No one shows that lining to anyone. Maybe when we
talk to another person we shoud try to get them to show that wild silk lining to you. Also I find that the people I like the most are the people who are most interested in me making me feel exciting and important.
W
That's why therapists make a lot of money. Because no one is truly that interested unless it's your kids or someone you love
0:00
Just described the Morden woman
his voice changed, he sounds a lot more like Jordan Peterson now
This guy always seems like dirty like didn’t take a shower in months ….
What if you got ADHD?
I have ADHD and I find that the advice he gives works for me. I need to be interested in the other person and in what the other person is saying in order to pay attention and listen.
@@carm9716 But i struggle too much with concentration, do you happen to smoke by any chance?
Still dont get it
love the genius Robert is, but every time I see him in Ytube, he always looks like he ate bad shrimp.