and that it's so much easier (and often more interesting) to parent when another person is around. So much respect and love for those doing this on their own.
thank yoouuuuuuuu! watching back the edit of this video I was worried thinking "omg am I coming across as hating parenting????" but I think it's just because we're not used to hearing the reality of it!
@@morehannah It was so freing to hear that honestly. Me and my partner want children and he's the type of person who love hanging out with young kids and i'm NOT ahaha because it's so boooooooring.
In Denmark kids play outside in all weather. It has to be an actual blizzard or storm to stay inside. So I would be proud you are using the outside. Maybe you know the saying. "There is no such thing ad bad weather, just bad clothing."
My sister recently got her two some waterproof onsies, which they quickly loved wearing because 1) They realised they could go and play in the park on rainy days, 2) they had the park entirely to themselves and 3) none of their clothes got wet because they were wearing the right gear. 🎉
There's a movement called 1000 hours outside that's taken a lot of Scandinavian principles of childhood and the main focus is on a childhood outside. Truly so important
Watching Rowan being fascinated by the washing machine whilst you ate your breakfast was the cutest thing! I'm a nursery nurse, and one of my children used to sit infront of our pretend washing machine and shake it , so it rattled on the floor. We quickly figured out he was confused that it didn't make any noise and was imitating what he experienced at home ❤
Thank you Hannah for showing that although you love your baby, you enjoy being still YOU. I struggle a lot with a sense of self outside being a parent, I feel a lot of mum guilt for wanting to be myself, enjoy work and time alone. Seeing you talk about this so openly makes me feel not alone :)
It gets less boring when they get older. My little one turns three in a few months and it's not the same now at all. I remember the feeling youre describing of missing your kid and then wanting me-time when you're with them, but that goes away! Hanging out with an 8 month old isn't NEARLY as fun as a three year old. Time FLIES now, I feel like the days are too short and we don't have time for all the fun things we want to explore and do! ❤❤ every season of their life comes with it's upd and downs, for sure.
I’m so glad you commented on separation anxiety! Have people in the UK really not clocked onto the fact that the average age at which babies get separation anxiety just so happens to coincide with the average point at which maternity pay stops?
This isn’t really a relevant link. In the US, moms have to go back to work at 3 months and babies still experience separation anxiety at 10-12 months. It’s developmental, not environmental.
Wonderful video as always, could you do a segment in another video on how non parent friends can help any new mom friends/ keep in touch after baby? I always feel like they are probably busy but then start to loose touch with them after they have a baby.
How lovely you're thinking about this topic! In my experience, it really helps when my non-parent friends are able to be flexible with us regarding visiting times and types of activities. We've found that's it's much easier for us to hang out during certain hours of the day - for us right now it's mostly early morning or lunch, or later afternoon (depending on baby's nap schedule and our energy levels), or in places where babies can be entertained. Also: it's helpful to show flexibility in case we show up late (last minute schedule changes/fussy baby/poopsplosion) or if we need to cancel because of sickness. When baby was younger, I really appreciated when friends traveled to visit us (so we didn't have to travel around) and would bring food. We've been doing lots of brunch dates at our house, or going for little walks close by.
yeah that could be a nice topic! but for now all I'll say is I needed to get my nails done for a photoshoot but the only time I had in my schedule to do it was a day I had Rowan and I so I asked friends if someone was free to come to the salon with me just to watch Rowan whilst my hands we're going to be pre-occupied and one of them was free! It was great because 1) she helped me out with childcare & work stuff and 2) realistically the quality time I'm going to get with my friends is going to also be with the baby so it was great to catch up with her too!
Tell them - I feel like you're probably always busy but I want to be there for you/keep in touch. Can you tell me how would be best/easiest/funest (:D) for you? And be prepared it may change every month or two in the begining ;)
It's so wild to me that only one parent can have payed parental leave in the UK. I didn't know that until Hannah made videos where it came up. I'm so used to the swedish way of both perents being able to be at home perents so I was surprised. I agree with Hannah that the system is bad. It doesn't make it easy to try being equal perents. Thank you Hannah for this video!
@@skznprcnk204 hmm I actually don't know (not a perent myself)... I know people that have been home for about a year, maybe 9 months and then the other perent stays home at least 6 months, maybe a year?
@@skznprcnk204 the current rule is 390 days paid parental leave and another 90 days with "minimum wage" parental leave. Also if your child is sick, whether it be a fever or full on stay at the nicu, one parent gets those days off with pay as well. The normal coverage is 80% of your income, same goes as if you were sick or unable to work yourself. Also we get about 5 weeks paid holiday leave a year if we work fulltime. Sweden is great, in this aspect ❤
The pressure to try to have it all when you become a parent is so real. My husband and I both work full time but we work non-traditional schedules and I work remote from home. He has one-on-one with our baby girl in the mornings and I get one-on-one in the afternoons and evenings. It’s a long day, (I work 6am to 3pm) but I feels grateful our work schedules let us both get so much time with our baby.
Loved this! I'm team 'go outside with baby' all the way too! Since around 5 months, he's just been so interested in the world around him and is just much more easily entertained if we leave the house. And that way, I get to fit in some activities for myself as well. :) Regarding settling into childcare: Yes! In my experience, parents need at least as much (if not more) settling time as the baby! It definitely took me a while to get into a routine, and stop getting getting sudden jumpscares of "where's the baby?!"
Really interested to watch this as a mum who works 2 full days. I put my daughter to bed on Monday night and the next time I see her awake is Thursday morning. But I'm so grateful to be able to just do 2 days. I work in childcare and I'm looking to leave. Doing the same thing at work as you do at home is a lot. I find it really hard to send my daughter off to my parents so I can go and look after other people's children. It just feels so ridiculous to me, and I find the stuff like sleep struggles or tantrums with the work kids hard because when work is over for the week, I still face another 5 days of the same. Definitely realising I need an industry change but trying to push through to have another baby.
On the outside thing - being outside is so incredibly important for babies and young children. Technically all of us, but especially little ones. Keep getting outside Hannah! The benefits list is never ending ☺️
It's crazy how the system is completey stacked against women who have babies. Me and my boyfriend both actively wanted to do things more equally but it was just so difficult! We ended up with me leaving work to care for our 3 children because financially and logistically it's the only way we could survive. Really enjoyed your honest, chatty video, just subscribed. xx
You are amazing, you’ve touched on so many points that resonate with me as a parent of a toddler and a baby atm. It’s so good to hear to calmly mention the boredom, the mom-guilt, the feeling of wanting to be with them until you are and then wanting help, the balance of labor. I so appreciate you videos
Oof, I TOTALLY get the "missing the baby when they're not here, but not wanting them around when they are." Every damn day. 💜 We put our child in daycare when they were 3 months old, and when they hit the one-year mark of daycare we looked back at their first day picture and were like "Whoooaaaa they were SO SMALL!!!" 😆
You describe motherhood and the boredom feelings so well! I felt EXACTLY THE SAME with my first! Not so much with my second baby, but I think that's because you've got the routine already so there is less time to fill and be bored. Just you wait till Rowan starts school, the time between your being home with him before you partner gets home is the WORST, it literally feels like a week!
The fact that 3 months before going back to work is short just makes me weep in American 😭 most places in the US only do 6 weeks and it’s not required for that time to be paid. Our system is broken 🙃
Oh no I didn't know that😮😕 I live in Germany where you get 65 % of your income for one year but you can take up to 3 years off if you are ok with just one income in your family. How do you manage this short mat leave with breastfeeding and childcare etc?
@@Em_ber14I honestly don’t know! I don’t have children yet but it’s been on my mind because I’ve been married for over a year now and really want kids but also 6 weeks is not enough time. So my husband and I are trying to budget now so that when I do get pregnant, I could be home for longer. I didn’t know it was so different in other countries until I was in high school. Y’all are so blessed to have that time!
When I saw the comments of people being like "wow, half a year is so short for your country!" and I'm just gritting my teeth in American. I'm a contractor so I don't get any paid leave
I relate SO much to almost everything you said in this particularly the bit about it being easier to parent outside, SO true! We've barely spent any days at home and my daughter is now 10 months 😂
Found this video such a comfort watch. My work situation in the next few years is a bit up-in-the-air as I work on a contract basis, but my partner and I really would like to try for a baby - its so great to see how other people manage this, and learn that there is no perfect formula, but things work out in the end.
Yup going back to work 4 days a week at 3.5 months was Rough for me. Luckily was only for 5 weeks and then had 5 weeks leave. When went back again full time after that and she was more like 6 months was much better. But I defs still wish I could do 4 days instead of 5. I absolutely cherish our mornings and evenings and weekends
I'm not a parent nor intend to be, but I enjoy these kind of videos so much! Btw, I'd love a video about tips to get to 4 (or 3) days workweeks while self employed. dunno if it's something I'd be interesting for you.
I’m not a parent but I definitely relate to resenting being a “heterosexual statistic” I love my partner but I don’t like playing within the system lol
As usually, watching while pumping. 😂 In my country the maternity leave lasts one year and is paid (you get 80% of your salary) and I'm still not sure if I want to go back to work afterwards and if I do it will be part time for sure.
I'd be really interested in a video more in depth on how motherhood impacts women socioeconomically...it's one of the things I'm worried about, but I don't know much about the actual statistics.
My husband and I also do the 4 person HelloFresh box even though we're just two people. If I'm going to spend the time cooking, there better be leftovers!
I really wish I had the thing where I became really efficient after having a kid 😅😅 my husband did that but my brain doesn't work that way at all. I'm an author and the way I used to work was by getting everything else done and then writing from like 4pm onwards, sometimes staying up late to write. Now I have a kid it's like all that extra time filled up with looking after her and extra chores (more cleaning and washing and all that). But my brain refuses to let me write unless there are no distractions and everything has been sorted. I'm also chronically ill 😅 so realistically I get like 20 minutes a day where I can persuade my brain to do actual writing before I'm too in pain or it suddenly becomes bath time and bed time and all that and I'm too tired to do anything else. It is better since my daughter is now 4 but I'm still so mad at my brain for being so useless!
This is really good to hear for me because in a childish way I was resentful that Hannah was part time and Dan wasn't. Hannah was the person who taught me about domestic gender inequality and it's links to the pay gap and she was just going to live out this? Whattt? But hearing it from her side makes me feel more at rest with her life choices (as I should be) and also it gives me hope that with my life I won't just be 'a statistic'
Love this video. 32 weeks pregnant and have been following your whole fertility/parenting journey. Could you do a baby essentials video? Is that a Tripp trapp chair behind you? Trying to decide if I want one.
I vote yes, cause you can use it for sooo long. I've had it as a kid and am now using it for my kid as well. It's been in use (for many kids) for over 30 years.
I got one for my little one who is now ten months old. It’s really nice how you can set it to fit your child perfectly. He even enjoys hanging out in the high chair and watching me make breakfast with some toys on the tray. :)
Hi Hannah! This is kind of not related but I was wondering, do you feel any strong sense of northern identity? I've lived down south for 3 years now and its just So Southern (Exeter) that I'm moving back up north for my masters. Do you feel its important to show Rowan the north and its culture, or are other parts of your identity (being Jewish for example) matter more? No hate no matter what x
I've just had 2 back to back maternity leaves 14 months each with a phased 3 month return and I HATE it. My job is great but I would just rather be with my babies 😅 not financially possible for us sadly but I would give so much to be able to be a stay at home parent 😭 Mat leave has been the best and most fun years of my life I think I'm a weirdo though everyone else says it's hard and boring 😅
can you make a video on mum-guilt? sounds like you have been elaborating the topic. my son is 3.5 months old now, I'm a full time parent and I feel guilty so many times a day. I also think the guilt is gendered and it has some potential for conflict in the parent-parent relationship as well!
Child minders and baby sitters are different in the UK in a lot of different ways. Babysitting is like a grandparent or friend looking after your child, or a teenager looking after your kids for a bit of money. Child minders are professionals, their job is looking after children. Also babysitters usually come to your house, whereas the child would go to the child minder’s house. Also babysitting implies casual or adhoc and a child minder is pre arranged. Eg I went to my child minder’s house every evening after school on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday every week.
Hey. Could you elaborate on parent guilt being a gendered thing? Bub is 8 month old and as a dad I definitely do have parent guilt. My partner and I do have parent guilt about different things and sometimes on different levels but we both have it.
i really enjoyed this video! by the way your hair looks great! are you planning to keep it that length, grow it out or cut it shorter again? just curious!❤
@@morehannah love that for u! i cut my hair short many years ago and find it very difficult to grow it out much! 😆 but i do like the low maintenance of it! wishing u patience hehe❤
Genuine question - is “child minder’s” the same as childcare? Or is it like a family day care/nanny situation? It’s not used in Australia, and I gotta be honest, if it is used instead of daycare, as a previous early childhood educator I hate the term 😬🥲 I feel like it kind of belittles all that encompasses caring for and educating other people’s children. Childcare isn’t even a great term, but child MINDING? It’s so much more than that! (Obviously Hannah I know that you would value Rowan’s educators and not see it like that)
Usually, in the UK, a child minder is different from daycare (we don’t really use that word, we would usually call that nursery) in that child minders are usually like sole operators working out of their house. I used to go to a child minder after school three days a week, so she came to pick us up from school and we went back to her house until my mum picked us up. I had a friend whose mum was a childminder and she looked after children at her house as well. With a childminder, there’s no staff rotation, you have a relationship with an individual and you often end up quite close with them. My child minder didn’t do much education with us, we occasionally did painting together but most of the time she just gave us snacks and let us watch tv or play amongst ourselves.
@@amyhatch3761 interesting, thanks for explaining! I guess that would just be considered a babysitter here. I think when I’ve heard Hannah talk about the child minder’s before it sounded a bit like daycare, which is where I got muddled.
Love hearing you are on the YNAB bus! I’ve been using it for over 4 years now and it helped me stay motivated to get out of debt at first and then successfully credit card travel hack! Thanks for always giving us great educational and yet fun content!
Idk if you've talked about this in particular, but how come you're still pumping? Rowan is eating solids and you're breastfeeding, how come you still include the pumped milk? Is there some specific added benefit? Really interesting video though, the whole work-child balance is ... a ~*journey
it's so easy to forget that the united states and the UK are culturally very different until I heard the word 'childminder'. I never would've thought there'd be another word for babysitter across the pond
We have childminders & babysitters in the UK! A childminder is an official form of childcare (have to have same training/ratios/inspections as a nursery) but it’s in someone’s home. A babysitter is an unqualified adhoc person who might look after your kids in the evening whilst you go out! I was a babysitter for lots of families when I was about 14-17 years old.
A childminder is like a nanny but usually looks after several children from different families rather than a singular family. They usually have professional qualifications along with a lot of experience, usually runs from their home or a hired building rather than be at your home. Where a babysitter would be someone who either does it for somewhat cheaper or free on the regular and isn't qualified/is used for stuff like date nights rather than regular working childcare. It gets a bit sticky with wording when you have longtime childcare provided through family, but even then, when I was doing that, I called it babysitting as I held no degrees towards childcare development even though the hours I did were the same as a FT job. People often babysit to earn extra income, where as childminding is usually your singular job.
@@morehannah I feel like I saw that a bit in Maine while growing up, but I probably would have thought of it as a babysitter who watches multiple kids out of their home like a small business. It's interesting that it's common enough in some places that it has it's own name
You are doing amazing job being a part time working mom wife and and proud of you and unbelievable job xoxo 😚 💛🌹🌹🌹💙🌸🌸🌺🌻💛🌈🌈💗💗💗🩵❣️🧡💜💜🪻🖤🪻💜💗❣️🌻🌻💚🌈🌹🌹🌹🌹💙💛🌸🌺💓🌻💚🌈💗💗💜💜🪻🪻🖤🌼🌼💓🌻💚🌈🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹💙💓🩵💗💗❣️🧡🧡🧡💜💜
My question is: did you really want a child? WHY did you want a child? Do ypu feel your life would be equally good or better without one? Most people today don't know what they're getting into by having children, and it's more of a "something inside says I should... we'll figure it out" kind of thing, or a curiosity. It's relatively rare that people ACTUALLY absolutely love spending time with babies and children. I think it was actually the same before. My MIL always told she looooves children, and that's why she became a child phychologist. When my daughter was born she was such a control freak that she said that "if you don't want to accept my help as is, there are other children I can help". No one who loves children would ever say that. What even started it? She was letting my baby put stuff in her mouth that the dog had touched, and my baby got ill on 4 occations straight after the visits (never otherwise). She wasn't welcome at my home for 5 months, and I don't really trust her any more... Anyway: when babies are very small they don't really interact with you much, and often stare at you weirdly. You should then uae the time to visit friends, taking walks in nature, learning some yoga, or pelvis-strengthening exercises. However, at 3-4 months, babies get more exciting, so liking to send them away at that age... that's when I begin to wonder why people wanted them in the first place. They do get more fun around year 1.5-2 though
This reads a bit weird. I don't think I've heard of a single case where people "like" to send their babies away at 3-4 months. Where I live babies go to childcare at 11 months earliest (thats the minimum mat leave), and moms are more often upset by it than not. Also, I don't think Anyone knows what they're getting into with having a child, you probably have a better idea if your job is having to do with children, but still it's a big adjustment. I suggest you don't imply people didn't really want to have their children or don't enjoy spending time with them, it's really hurtful.
I kind of feel your resentment on the system is misplaced. There‘s no reason not to place it on Dan. Of course, in a patriarchal society it seems more reasonable to let the male partner of the hook. Finding equality means taking risks for both of the parents.
Why do you think she should be resentful towards her husband? What would that achieve? It doesn’t sound like Hannah actually wants to change the working situation to go full time with her husband staying at home, and her job is more flexible since she is her own boss.
@@amyhatch3761 Hannah said she blames the system for the inequality, that’s what I was referring to. People should do what they want. But for me it’s dishonest, if people say, yeah we WOULD choose equality in parenting, if we COULD - but society…! People are making a choice against equality because it’s their preferred model (for various reasons). Why just not say it like this?
@@miadifferent7306 but it could well be the case that Hannah and Dan made a mutual decision on how to arrange care within the current system, hence being annoyed about the system. It's not necessarily the case that Dan is "making a choice against equality".
You were so desperate to be mum.. its a bit sad to hear you are not 100% as a parent .. clichés but time will fly.. soon he will be at school then you will have more time than you want.. x
![Being ‘the disabled one’ in university [CC]](/img/n.gif)
It's awesome to hear someone no judgementally address how boring hanging out with a young kid can be even if you love them.
and that it's so much easier (and often more interesting) to parent when another person is around. So much respect and love for those doing this on their own.
Really appreciating how candid you are about how child caring can be boring, I feel like no parent never say it but it's so trueeee
thank yoouuuuuuuu! watching back the edit of this video I was worried thinking "omg am I coming across as hating parenting????" but I think it's just because we're not used to hearing the reality of it!
@@morehannah It was so freing to hear that honestly. Me and my partner want children and he's the type of person who love hanging out with young kids and i'm NOT ahaha because it's so boooooooring.
In Denmark kids play outside in all weather. It has to be an actual blizzard or storm to stay inside. So I would be proud you are using the outside. Maybe you know the saying. "There is no such thing ad bad weather, just bad clothing."
this, its actually a saying in germany.
In Norway as well 😍
same w alaska!
My sister recently got her two some waterproof onsies, which they quickly loved wearing because
1) They realised they could go and play in the park on rainy days,
2) they had the park entirely to themselves and
3) none of their clothes got wet because they were wearing the right gear.
🎉
There's a movement called 1000 hours outside that's taken a lot of Scandinavian principles of childhood and the main focus is on a childhood outside. Truly so important
Watching Rowan being fascinated by the washing machine whilst you ate your breakfast was the cutest thing! I'm a nursery nurse, and one of my children used to sit infront of our pretend washing machine and shake it , so it rattled on the floor. We quickly figured out he was confused that it didn't make any noise and was imitating what he experienced at home ❤
Oh my god the “feeling resentful for being a statistic” hit home! I thought I was the only person that got that 😂
Thank you Hannah for showing that although you love your baby, you enjoy being still YOU. I struggle a lot with a sense of self outside being a parent, I feel a lot of mum guilt for wanting to be myself, enjoy work and time alone. Seeing you talk about this so openly makes me feel not alone :)
It gets less boring when they get older. My little one turns three in a few months and it's not the same now at all.
I remember the feeling youre describing of missing your kid and then wanting me-time when you're with them, but that goes away! Hanging out with an 8 month old isn't NEARLY as fun as a three year old. Time FLIES now, I feel like the days are too short and we don't have time for all the fun things we want to explore and do! ❤❤ every season of their life comes with it's upd and downs, for sure.
I’m so glad you commented on separation anxiety! Have people in the UK really not clocked onto the fact that the average age at which babies get separation anxiety just so happens to coincide with the average point at which maternity pay stops?
RIGHT!?!?!?!
This isn’t really a relevant link. In the US, moms have to go back to work at 3 months and babies still experience separation anxiety at 10-12 months. It’s developmental, not environmental.
@@biancarosato5904 I don’t think cause and effect was implied!
Wonderful video as always, could you do a segment in another video on how non parent friends can help any new mom friends/ keep in touch after baby? I always feel like they are probably busy but then start to loose touch with them after they have a baby.
How lovely you're thinking about this topic!
In my experience, it really helps when my non-parent friends are able to be flexible with us regarding visiting times and types of activities.
We've found that's it's much easier for us to hang out during certain hours of the day - for us right now it's mostly early morning or lunch, or later afternoon (depending on baby's nap schedule and our energy levels), or in places where babies can be entertained. Also: it's helpful to show flexibility in case we show up late (last minute schedule changes/fussy baby/poopsplosion) or if we need to cancel because of sickness.
When baby was younger, I really appreciated when friends traveled to visit us (so we didn't have to travel around) and would bring food.
We've been doing lots of brunch dates at our house, or going for little walks close by.
yeah that could be a nice topic! but for now all I'll say is I needed to get my nails done for a photoshoot but the only time I had in my schedule to do it was a day I had Rowan and I so I asked friends if someone was free to come to the salon with me just to watch Rowan whilst my hands we're going to be pre-occupied and one of them was free! It was great because 1) she helped me out with childcare & work stuff and 2) realistically the quality time I'm going to get with my friends is going to also be with the baby so it was great to catch up with her too!
Tell them - I feel like you're probably always busy but I want to be there for you/keep in touch. Can you tell me how would be best/easiest/funest (:D) for you? And be prepared it may change every month or two in the begining ;)
It's so wild to me that only one parent can have payed parental leave in the UK. I didn't know that until Hannah made videos where it came up. I'm so used to the swedish way of both perents being able to be at home perents so I was surprised.
I agree with Hannah that the system is bad. It doesn't make it easy to try being equal perents.
Thank you Hannah for this video!
How long is the swedish parental leave ? 😊
@@skznprcnk204 hmm I actually don't know (not a perent myself)... I know people that have been home for about a year, maybe 9 months and then the other perent stays home at least 6 months, maybe a year?
@@skznprcnk204 the current rule is 390 days paid parental leave and another 90 days with "minimum wage" parental leave. Also if your child is sick, whether it be a fever or full on stay at the nicu, one parent gets those days off with pay as well. The normal coverage is 80% of your income, same goes as if you were sick or unable to work yourself.
Also we get about 5 weeks paid holiday leave a year if we work fulltime.
Sweden is great, in this aspect ❤
The pressure to try to have it all when you become a parent is so real. My husband and I both work full time but we work non-traditional schedules and I work remote from home. He has one-on-one with our baby girl in the mornings and I get one-on-one in the afternoons and evenings. It’s a long day, (I work 6am to 3pm) but I feels grateful our work schedules let us both get so much time with our baby.
I love that Hannah is so honest about her experience. I think if most mums were honest they would also own up to being bored sometimes.
Loved this!
I'm team 'go outside with baby' all the way too! Since around 5 months, he's just been so interested in the world around him and is just much more easily entertained if we leave the house. And that way, I get to fit in some activities for myself as well. :)
Regarding settling into childcare: Yes! In my experience, parents need at least as much (if not more) settling time as the baby! It definitely took me a while to get into a routine, and stop getting getting sudden jumpscares of "where's the baby?!"
Really interested to watch this as a mum who works 2 full days. I put my daughter to bed on Monday night and the next time I see her awake is Thursday morning. But I'm so grateful to be able to just do 2 days. I work in childcare and I'm looking to leave. Doing the same thing at work as you do at home is a lot. I find it really hard to send my daughter off to my parents so I can go and look after other people's children. It just feels so ridiculous to me, and I find the stuff like sleep struggles or tantrums with the work kids hard because when work is over for the week, I still face another 5 days of the same. Definitely realising I need an industry change but trying to push through to have another baby.
On the outside thing - being outside is so incredibly important for babies and young children. Technically all of us, but especially little ones. Keep getting outside Hannah! The benefits list is never ending ☺️
Would love to hear more about YNAB and the transition from spreadsheet budgeting to the app
It's crazy how the system is completey stacked against women who have babies. Me and my boyfriend both actively wanted to do things more equally but it was just so difficult! We ended up with me leaving work to care for our 3 children because financially and logistically it's the only way we could survive. Really enjoyed your honest, chatty video, just subscribed. xx
You are amazing, you’ve touched on so many points that resonate with me as a parent of a toddler and a baby atm. It’s so good to hear to calmly mention the boredom, the mom-guilt, the feeling of wanting to be with them until you are and then wanting help, the balance of labor. I so appreciate you videos
Oof, I TOTALLY get the "missing the baby when they're not here, but not wanting them around when they are." Every damn day. 💜
We put our child in daycare when they were 3 months old, and when they hit the one-year mark of daycare we looked back at their first day picture and were like "Whoooaaaa they were SO SMALL!!!" 😆
SO SMALL!!
You describe motherhood and the boredom feelings so well! I felt EXACTLY THE SAME with my first! Not so much with my second baby, but I think that's because you've got the routine already so there is less time to fill and be bored. Just you wait till Rowan starts school, the time between your being home with him before you partner gets home is the WORST, it literally feels like a week!
The fact that 3 months before going back to work is short just makes me weep in American 😭 most places in the US only do 6 weeks and it’s not required for that time to be paid. Our system is broken 🙃
Oh no I didn't know that😮😕 I live in Germany where you get 65 % of your income for one year but you can take up to 3 years off if you are ok with just one income in your family. How do you manage this short mat leave with breastfeeding and childcare etc?
@@Em_ber14I honestly don’t know! I don’t have children yet but it’s been on my mind because I’ve been married for over a year now and really want kids but also 6 weeks is not enough time. So my husband and I are trying to budget now so that when I do get pregnant, I could be home for longer.
I didn’t know it was so different in other countries until I was in high school. Y’all are so blessed to have that time!
When I saw the comments of people being like "wow, half a year is so short for your country!" and I'm just gritting my teeth in American. I'm a contractor so I don't get any paid leave
I relate SO much to almost everything you said in this particularly the bit about it being easier to parent outside, SO true! We've barely spent any days at home and my daughter is now 10 months 😂
Omg I have been using You Need a Budget for years and to know that Hannah, the organization queen, uses it too makes me so happy.
Found this video such a comfort watch. My work situation in the next few years is a bit up-in-the-air as I work on a contract basis, but my partner and I really would like to try for a baby - its so great to see how other people manage this, and learn that there is no perfect formula, but things work out in the end.
Yup going back to work 4 days a week at 3.5 months was Rough for me. Luckily was only for 5 weeks and then had 5 weeks leave. When went back again full time after that and she was more like 6 months was much better. But I defs still wish I could do 4 days instead of 5. I absolutely cherish our mornings and evenings and weekends
i’m so glad your talking about this, it’s super interesting and also really important! ❤
Amazing to hear someone be so honest about what work parent life is like xx
I am proud of you and you are doing a great job Hannah
I'm not a parent nor intend to be, but I enjoy these kind of videos so much! Btw, I'd love a video about tips to get to 4 (or 3) days workweeks while self employed. dunno if it's something I'd be interesting for you.
I’m not a parent but I definitely relate to resenting being a “heterosexual statistic” I love my partner but I don’t like playing within the system lol
I would love see a video about how the health visitor stuff works and your thoughts!
Working part time is awesome - I get so much time with my kids (almost 9 and almost 6) and yet have a full-filling job.
Wonderful video I love the window into motherhood!
After your baby is born your huge to do list gets cut down to just a few things. I loved how it simplified things.
As usually, watching while pumping. 😂
In my country the maternity leave lasts one year and is paid (you get 80% of your salary) and I'm still not sure if I want to go back to work afterwards and if I do it will be part time for sure.
I'd be really interested in a video more in depth on how motherhood impacts women socioeconomically...it's one of the things I'm worried about, but I don't know much about the actual statistics.
The guitar floating at the bottom of the screen at 1:20 is killing me 😆🥰
My husband and I also do the 4 person HelloFresh box even though we're just two people. If I'm going to spend the time cooking, there better be leftovers!
I really wish I had the thing where I became really efficient after having a kid 😅😅 my husband did that but my brain doesn't work that way at all. I'm an author and the way I used to work was by getting everything else done and then writing from like 4pm onwards, sometimes staying up late to write. Now I have a kid it's like all that extra time filled up with looking after her and extra chores (more cleaning and washing and all that). But my brain refuses to let me write unless there are no distractions and everything has been sorted. I'm also chronically ill 😅 so realistically I get like 20 minutes a day where I can persuade my brain to do actual writing before I'm too in pain or it suddenly becomes bath time and bed time and all that and I'm too tired to do anything else. It is better since my daughter is now 4 but I'm still so mad at my brain for being so useless!
This is really good to hear for me because in a childish way I was resentful that Hannah was part time and Dan wasn't. Hannah was the person who taught me about domestic gender inequality and it's links to the pay gap and she was just going to live out this? Whattt? But hearing it from her side makes me feel more at rest with her life choices (as I should be) and also it gives me hope that with my life I won't just be 'a statistic'
Love ynab 🎉 we've been using it for more than 5 years now
Thank you for the video. Tangential comment, I love the chill jazz vibes music you used for different video montages and interludes.
Please do a Stormlight Wrap-up video. Inquiring Cosmere/Hannah crossover fans want to know!
Love this video. 32 weeks pregnant and have been following your whole fertility/parenting journey.
Could you do a baby essentials video?
Is that a Tripp trapp chair behind you? Trying to decide if I want one.
I vote yes, cause you can use it for sooo long. I've had it as a kid and am now using it for my kid as well. It's been in use (for many kids) for over 30 years.
I got one for my little one who is now ten months old. It’s really nice how you can set it to fit your child perfectly. He even enjoys hanging out in the high chair and watching me make breakfast with some toys on the tray. :)
Thanks
Hi Hannah! This is kind of not related but I was wondering, do you feel any strong sense of northern identity? I've lived down south for 3 years now and its just So Southern (Exeter) that I'm moving back up north for my masters. Do you feel its important to show Rowan the north and its culture, or are other parts of your identity (being Jewish for example) matter more? No hate no matter what x
SO EXCITED!!! 🧡💛🌼🌻🌻🌻🌻❣️🌈💓💓💓💜💜💜💜💜💜🩵🩵❣️❣️❣️🌹💜💜🪻💓💓💓🌸💚💙💙💄💄🌻🌻🌻🌻🌼💛🧡💗🌸💚🌸💗🧡🌈❣️❣️💜🪻🪻💓💓💓🌹🌹🌈🌈🩵🩵🩵🩵🧡💛💛💙💙🌻🌻💙❣️💚💚🖤🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🖤💗🌸🌼💙🌻🌻🌺🌺🌺🌺
Hi Hannah! Just curious-do your employees have a 4 day work week?
They’re part time and hours are flexible
Love YNAB! 🎉
I've just had 2 back to back maternity leaves 14 months each with a phased 3 month return and I HATE it.
My job is great but I would just rather be with my babies 😅 not financially possible for us sadly but I would give so much to be able to be a stay at home parent 😭
Mat leave has been the best and most fun years of my life I think I'm a weirdo though everyone else says it's hard and boring 😅
Do you find your more focus if you are filming yourself working? Like you can't procrastinate on camera? 😅
There you are looking fabulous in your correct Autumn colours!
can you make a video on mum-guilt? sounds like you have been elaborating the topic. my son is 3.5 months old now, I'm a full time parent and I feel guilty so many times a day. I also think the guilt is gendered and it has some potential for conflict in the parent-parent relationship as well!
I totally understand what you said about missing them but then when your home it being a bit too much 😂🙈 it’s mad x
"child minders" sounds weird my american ears but it makes so much more sense than the american term babysitters.
Child minders and baby sitters are different in the UK in a lot of different ways. Babysitting is like a grandparent or friend looking after your child, or a teenager looking after your kids for a bit of money. Child minders are professionals, their job is looking after children. Also babysitters usually come to your house, whereas the child would go to the child minder’s house. Also babysitting implies casual or adhoc and a child minder is pre arranged. Eg I went to my child minder’s house every evening after school on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday every week.
@@amyhatch3761 Ah okay
Hey. Could you elaborate on parent guilt being a gendered thing? Bub is 8 month old and as a dad I definitely do have parent guilt. My partner and I do have parent guilt about different things and sometimes on different levels but we both have it.
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What does child minder mean? Is it like nanny?
i really enjoyed this video! by the way your hair looks great! are you planning to keep it that length, grow it out or cut it shorter again? just curious!❤
plan to grow and donate again unless I get impatient in the next few years!
@@morehannah love that for u!
i cut my hair short many years ago and find it very difficult to grow it out much! 😆 but i do like the low maintenance of it!
wishing u patience hehe❤
Any suggestions for where to donate? The places I used to donated moved to fully fake hair given new science gains or something!
Commeting just for youtube's engagement ❤
I'm nowhere to becoming a mom, but I like these videos 😂😊🐢
Leaving a comment for the algorithm
hi
Genuine question - is “child minder’s” the same as childcare? Or is it like a family day care/nanny situation?
It’s not used in Australia, and I gotta be honest, if it is used instead of daycare, as a previous early childhood educator I hate the term 😬🥲 I feel like it kind of belittles all that encompasses caring for and educating other people’s children. Childcare isn’t even a great term, but child MINDING? It’s so much more than that!
(Obviously Hannah I know that you would value Rowan’s educators and not see it like that)
Usually, in the UK, a child minder is different from daycare (we don’t really use that word, we would usually call that nursery) in that child minders are usually like sole operators working out of their house. I used to go to a child minder after school three days a week, so she came to pick us up from school and we went back to her house until my mum picked us up. I had a friend whose mum was a childminder and she looked after children at her house as well. With a childminder, there’s no staff rotation, you have a relationship with an individual and you often end up quite close with them. My child minder didn’t do much education with us, we occasionally did painting together but most of the time she just gave us snacks and let us watch tv or play amongst ourselves.
@@amyhatch3761 interesting, thanks for explaining! I guess that would just be considered a babysitter here.
I think when I’ve heard Hannah talk about the child minder’s before it sounded a bit like daycare, which is where I got muddled.
What was the budget app called? I think I need to have a look at it 😅
I noticed you walk to most things, how long does it take most times to childminder, etc.? Do you plan in those walks as breaks in your schedule?
Thanks so much for sharing this Hannah! Xoxo 😚 💙🌹💜🧡💗💓🌈🪻🪻🪻💚🩵❣️💙🌹💙💙🌺🌺🌺💛🖤🌼🪻🪻🌈🌻💗💗🧡💜🌹🌹🌹💜🧡💓🖤💛💛❣️💙💙❣️🩵🩵🩵💚🪻🪻🌈🌻💓💗🧡💜💜🌹🌹💙🌹💙❣️🌺🌺🌺
How much is daycare/childminder per month? Just curious how you fit that in your budget
Wait theres a difference between a childminder and a nursery? I thought it was just a fun British slang you were using
I imagine a nursery is for babies only, before they're old enough for regular daycare/childminding.
A childminder is childcare but in someone’s one
*home
French mums only get 10 weeks mat leave after birth 😅
25:14 I feel like you didn’t really answer the question. Would you be up for maybe making a whole video on it?
Are you planning to have more children? I vaguely remember that you said you need to have a child now before doing a surgery. Is it still a plan?
Bit of a repetitive ad read - something missed in editing? 😉
Good morning Hannah! Hope you have a great day xoxo and wonderful weekend xoxo 😚 💓💚💓💓🌺🌺🌺🌺🧡💙💙💙🌼💓💚💓🖤🌈💛💗🌸❣️🌹🌹🌹💜💜🌈💛💗🪻🪻💜🌹🌹🌹🌸🌸🌼🌼🌼🩵💙💙💙🌻🌻🌺🌺🌺🌻🧡💙🩵💙💓💚💚🌸🌸❣️🌹🌹💗💛💛🌈
Love hearing you are on the YNAB bus! I’ve been using it for over 4 years now and it helped me stay motivated to get out of debt at first and then successfully credit card travel hack! Thanks for always giving us great educational and yet fun content!
why can't your partner work part time?
A lot of employers wont allow it :(
@@rebecca12345_ if so, find another job
@@charlottetheile7234 maybe he wants to work full time
You should definitely read Revival by Stephen King. 👍
Hard relate to resenting feeling like a statistic
Idk if you've talked about this in particular, but how come you're still pumping? Rowan is eating solids and you're breastfeeding, how come you still include the pumped milk? Is there some specific added benefit? Really interesting video though, the whole work-child balance is ... a ~*journey
it's so easy to forget that the united states and the UK are culturally very different until I heard the word 'childminder'. I never would've thought there'd be another word for babysitter across the pond
We have childminders & babysitters in the UK! A childminder is an official form of childcare (have to have same training/ratios/inspections as a nursery) but it’s in someone’s home. A babysitter is an unqualified adhoc person who might look after your kids in the evening whilst you go out! I was a babysitter for lots of families when I was about 14-17 years old.
A childminder is like a nanny but usually looks after several children from different families rather than a singular family. They usually have professional qualifications along with a lot of experience, usually runs from their home or a hired building rather than be at your home. Where a babysitter would be someone who either does it for somewhat cheaper or free on the regular and isn't qualified/is used for stuff like date nights rather than regular working childcare. It gets a bit sticky with wording when you have longtime childcare provided through family, but even then, when I was doing that, I called it babysitting as I held no degrees towards childcare development even though the hours I did were the same as a FT job. People often babysit to earn extra income, where as childminding is usually your singular job.
@@morehannah I feel like I saw that a bit in Maine while growing up, but I probably would have thought of it as a babysitter who watches multiple kids out of their home like a small business. It's interesting that it's common enough in some places that it has it's own name
🎉❤
You are doing amazing job being a part time working mom wife and and proud of you and unbelievable job xoxo 😚 💛🌹🌹🌹💙🌸🌸🌺🌻💛🌈🌈💗💗💗🩵❣️🧡💜💜🪻🖤🪻💜💗❣️🌻🌻💚🌈🌹🌹🌹🌹💙💛🌸🌺💓🌻💚🌈💗💗💜💜🪻🪻🖤🌼🌼💓🌻💚🌈🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹💙💓🩵💗💗❣️🧡🧡🧡💜💜
Child minders
That’s hilarious 😅
Are you in the U.S.? Have you stopped to think about the literal meaning of baby "sitter"? Now THAT's hilarious.
My question is: did you really want a child? WHY did you want a child? Do ypu feel your life would be equally good or better without one? Most people today don't know what they're getting into by having children, and it's more of a "something inside says I should... we'll figure it out" kind of thing, or a curiosity.
It's relatively rare that people ACTUALLY absolutely love spending time with babies and children. I think it was actually the same before. My MIL always told she looooves children, and that's why she became a child phychologist. When my daughter was born she was such a control freak that she said that "if you don't want to accept my help as is, there are other children I can help". No one who loves children would ever say that. What even started it? She was letting my baby put stuff in her mouth that the dog had touched, and my baby got ill on 4 occations straight after the visits (never otherwise). She wasn't welcome at my home for 5 months, and I don't really trust her any more...
Anyway: when babies are very small they don't really interact with you much, and often stare at you weirdly. You should then uae the time to visit friends, taking walks in nature, learning some yoga, or pelvis-strengthening exercises. However, at 3-4 months, babies get more exciting, so liking to send them away at that age... that's when I begin to wonder why people wanted them in the first place. They do get more fun around year 1.5-2 though
This reads a bit weird. I don't think I've heard of a single case where people "like" to send their babies away at 3-4 months. Where I live babies go to childcare at 11 months earliest (thats the minimum mat leave), and moms are more often upset by it than not. Also, I don't think Anyone knows what they're getting into with having a child, you probably have a better idea if your job is having to do with children, but still it's a big adjustment.
I suggest you don't imply people didn't really want to have their children or don't enjoy spending time with them, it's really hurtful.
I kind of feel your resentment on the system is misplaced. There‘s no reason not to place it on Dan. Of course, in a patriarchal society it seems more reasonable to let the male partner of the hook. Finding equality means taking risks for both of the parents.
Why do you think she should be resentful towards her husband? What would that achieve? It doesn’t sound like Hannah actually wants to change the working situation to go full time with her husband staying at home, and her job is more flexible since she is her own boss.
@@amyhatch3761 Hannah said she blames the system for the inequality, that’s what I was referring to. People should do what they want. But for me it’s dishonest, if people say, yeah we WOULD choose equality in parenting, if we COULD - but society…! People are making a choice against equality because it’s their preferred model (for various reasons). Why just not say it like this?
@@miadifferent7306 but it could well be the case that Hannah and Dan made a mutual decision on how to arrange care within the current system, hence being annoyed about the system. It's not necessarily the case that Dan is "making a choice against equality".
You were so desperate to be mum.. its a bit sad to hear you are not 100% as a parent .. clichés but time will fly.. soon he will be at school then you will have more time than you want.. x
😅 no one is 100% as anything.