would love to see a tutorial for childfree friends on how to be a good and considerate host. what kind of invitations are easy to say yes to and how can they help make parenting easier? Loved hearing your thoughts!
I’ve watched your videos for years now Hannah. I’m a 62 year old married man. My wife has had dementia for 11 years. I know I’m not your target audience but I think your videos are so helpful to folks of all ages. Just wanted to say as an older bloke. I still have the same mind set at I did as a young adult. I thought one day I’d feel old. My body is falling apart but I’m still the same person in my head. Funny how we think life & time will change us. Btw. Your skin is looking great. Thanks for the videos Hannah. ☮️
I’m sorry you’re going through that with your wife. It’s an evil thing. Hooray for people like Hannah who keep us company on TH-cam while the world burns around us……makes a big difference when you are in a situation that can feel so isolating. Sending lots of hugs.
My friend group went through that period of barely seeing each other once people started having kids. During some years, we would only see each other once a year. But if you have a good group, you will come back together once the kids are older. I mean it might take like 16 years, but that’s life! (My core group is going on 36 years together.)
As a 28 y/o who just bought a house and is celebrating 8 years with my bf, I am very much weighing up whether or not to have kids and this is super helpful and insightful ❤
Your channel feels like such a warm and inviting place for people with all different lifestyles! Can’t tell you how much I appreciate that as a single, childfree person, I never have to worry that you’re about to casually devalue my life, luuulz. (Honestly, even a lot of really lovely people DO think that parents’ lives are more meaningful overall, but they’ll skirt around that sentiment a bit because it’s not as socially acceptable to just come out and say it anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). Interestingly, I always liked your content but I’ve watched a lot more since you had a baby. I just like the way your mind works, and parenting is such a drastic change that it tends to inspire a lot of interesting reflections and insights from people! This video is a perfect example of that :).
Aw thanks so much! It’s so important to me to make sure I’m not accidentally making statements like that that make people with different lifestyles to me feel alienated or judged so means a lot that you find my videos warm and inviting! Thank you!
ha that's so interesting you think that... I don't know if my self-awareness is more or less than others but maybe it has something to do with being watched by lots of people on the internet?? maybe it forces you in a really brutal way to be more self-aware!? I dunno.. 😅
As a non-parent who would like to become a parent in the future, I don't think the feeling of your life having meaning is bad. Now that you are a parent, you have a responsibility to care for your child to the best of your ability. That won't go away, even when your child grows up. As adults it is still very benificial to have our families and especially our parents for support and advice. Morally, you now have a non-optional goal. Before you were a parent, your goals were optional. You could of course have goals like career progression, friendship, romantic relationships, doing work that benifits your community, ect, but you could choose how important each of those was to you, and you didn't have to do all of them. Being a parent is different. I think it's good and natural to feel more strongly about your love for your child than you did about the things which were important to your life before you became a parent.
I agree. I've felt the same thing in smaller ways when taking on projects that mean a lot to me. It's a good feeling to have purpose and care deeply, and obviously having a kid is a very significant way those feelings can manifest.
I never plan on having kids but I agree with this outlook! It's also an incredibly permanent change that affects basically every aspect of your life. Most identities that we gain as adults will eventually change or go away, but this one is genuinely forever.
I don't know if you've already made it, but it would be really cool to see a video about some of the tough conversations, questions, and expectations you and Dan had together during pregnancy
I felt really different about work when I went back after having both my babies. I still care about my job and love teaching but I don't want to progress in the management side of things that I used to as I know how much time it takes up and I want to be around for my sons and not at work all the time. My priorities have definitely changed, I still want to have my career but I don't want it to be everything anymore.
No mobile phone game rec, but in Leena’s video recently about how she gets so much reading done, she said she’d replaced scrolling with ebook reading, and I’ve found this works really well for graphic novels and comic books on the phone. Might be an idea if you’re really not happy about the mobile games! (But also, cut yourself some slack! You’re literally sustaining a human being with your body. That’s awesome, you don’t need to be doing anything more productive!) 💛
I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that your audience has grown with you! Sex education isn't as relevant to me anymore as a 32 year old married person with a 7 month old. I love your parenting content and I hope you don't think it's "lesser" than your main channel. I watched your "24 hours with a X month old" videos multiple times and they were SO valuable!! Watching someone else go through the things I was going through meant the world, especially in a time that is inherently isolating. Also, SO JEALOUS of your family relationships!!! Can I borrow your parents please? :)
as ive gotten into my early/mid twenties, I've realised I don't think children are for me. Ive always struggled w my mental health and I've learnt that I am autistic. I just don't think I have the mental capacity and energy to care for a child for 18+ years of my life. It takes so much effort to look after myself, let alone another person. I'm open to changing my mind again in the future, but I'm trying to see how I feel about calling myself child free now.
My life has changed immensely since becoming a mum almost 3 years ago. I went from very indoorsy, theatre performer and teacher, to incredibly outdoorsy homeschooler 🤷🏼♀️ I love how much it's changed and I love that my daughter was the catalyst.
The clothes point is so interesting!! Maybe it has to do with you finding self-expression and "me" time outside of parenting and work, refilling your cup by buying clothes you like and that you feel like suit your colour theory. :)
I am one week postpartum and loved this! I have no idea how things will change for me, but it’s nice to hear someone else talk about how it has been for them and see what I might be looking forward to!
That's such a great point about 'new' mum friends. I remember my mum telling me recently that she didn't enjoy the mum/baby scene and groups all that much. Not because she didn't meet nice people, but because all the conversation revolved around babies. When she got out of the house to meet up with people, she really wanted a break from being focused on new motherhood and talk about other parts of life. Fortunately, a lot of her friends had slightly older kids, so it was fairly easy to bring us babies/toddlers along and be accommodated, but also not be the focus of everything.
I heard ‘lie ins’ as lions and was so confused when you said “lions are a thing of the past, even on weekends” great video though! I resonate with so much of it as a new parent who’s also self employed
it makes the MOST sense (the soul stuff) inner image not matching up with outer perception. I just wanna say Hannah, you are genuinely one of THE most grounding ppl on the internet to watch in terms of this type of content. Having a slightly more than alot complicated relationship with my own mother... 🙈being able to watch someone take on being a parent- without it consuming them, and being so frank and honest about it n the process is so lovely. Thank you!! 💖
I think your life feels full because being a parent was something you wanted and you are happy working in that project. Even if your life was good before, you were holding space to have a kid and have that be part of life. Some people have that and other people don’t, so all lives are full but based on what you wanted, it was something you wanted to bring in. I honestly felt similarly after I completed my masters degree-my life was good before, but I feel more complete having done that. I think I will feel similarly about kids when I take that on.
I swapped from full coke to coke zero and it hits the spot for me in the way full coke used to. If it's not something you fully vibe with - change to diet coke for about a month and then swap to coke zero, it's close enough that after diet coke it feels great. That's all the advice I can give, but trust me, I used to drink a LOT of full coke so if there's one thing I can give advice on, it's this! Also, keep it in the fridge, a cold coke (of any sugar amount) is always better than a room temperature one.
I find coke zero less offensive than diet coke so I might give that a go! most pubs don't have coke zero though which is mostly where I drink cokes lol 😅
But did you hear about sugar alternatives causing health problems? I always felt off when I had sugar free drinks and I think it was the world health organisation said that sugar free drinks can cause your blood pressure to drop....I have low blood pressure anyway so that makes so much sense to me now! I always prefered to have sugar then the manufactured sweeteners, its natural and people have been having sugar for ever! EDIT yes there is a WHO article warning about the effects of Non Sugar Sweeteners (NSS)
I feel like I’m looking at my future! Currently pregnant, and I’m the first of any of my friends to have kids. And it’ll be the first grandchild on both sides, though parents are a plane ride away. So glad to have your videos as a resource. I’ve been rewatching so much of your pregnancy content lately! Thank you for doing what you do, Hannah! 🧡
Non-coke pub drink reccommendation - if anywhere will do you an arnold palmer - it's half cold normal tea without milk (although other teas can work) & half lemonade - tastes so much better than the sum of it's parts - so delicious and can be like half the sugary fizzyness of a coke!
I can really relate to being perceived differently while not feeling like I have changed that much... Though I can't deny I have way less time to do the things I love! My son just turned 2 and it feels like I am getting some that time back, lately: love it!!
To me, one of the main differences after kids is the change of perspective. There is suddenly someone else in the world that is infinitely more important than yourself.
Our babies were born 10 days apart, and hearing your experiences 15 months in was so nice. I don't have any mum friends so it's nice to be validated by an internet stranger sometimes!
I had my baby at 21 at the start of my career, I felt so lost for a couple of years - I just want you to know you do gain back so much control and my sense of self is now stronger than ever now I have a 5 and a half year old. I’m progressing with my career too and it’s a big part of who I am. It’s still a struggle but it gets so much easier and I feel like I’ve grown so much as a person, and parenting has been a massive part of that. You’re an amazing mum and business woman, the spark with work will come back I promise xx
As for non-alcoholic drinks, I find a mix of half fruit juice (pineapple, cranberry, apple…) and half sparkling water usually does it for me. If you’re somewhere that has cocktails, they can easily make it for you, and otherwise you just order one of each and mix it yourself.
I think my career is the thing I worry most about when it comes to the idea of having kids. Having witnessed several women in my field basically fall out of "the know how" frightens me to know end seeing how very difficult it is to jump back into things. As a woman who also sympathizes with these new moms, I also find it frustrating to work with someone who is taking back their responsibilities, but also has odd hours and is basically a new/old coworker again. It is a very strange dynamic and not something that is talked about enough from both the new mom's perspective and her coworkers. While my career doesn't define me, I am very proud of how far I have gotten in this career and would like to continue on this path to be an example to my potential future children.
I felt really similarly before deciding that we were ready for kids. And then I realized that (at least from what i understand now) it's not so much that having kids and missing out on work experiences makes the new mums less good at their work, rather when one realizes that the career game is just a pie eating contest where the prize is more pie, and there is more to life, then they are ready to have kids. I'm personally very happy that I got full from my carrier before having kids as I also see examples how much more difficult parenting is when you feel like you gave up your top priority or even identity for it. And now I have a much healthier work life balance. But the tiredness is still real lol.
I think the friend issue depends not only on what's changed for the parent but also what's going on for the friend. I often hear about frustrations from parents who feel that their life has fundamentally changed and they are disappointed their friends haven't adapted with them. I rarely hear the conversation the other way round re life changing events for non parents.
Hearing that you still feel like yourself; and that you have a child minder and career coach is so helpful for me. I am a 31 year old woman who loves her career which is tied closely to my identity - I want a family but I am really apprehensivev to the affect it will take on my identity and career.
A little late to this one because I burnout made me need to split viewing it into two sessions, but (partly because of said burnout) I don’t think the work thoughts were boring at all! I’ve been feeling so many of the same things that you describe, not really knowing if I like what I do, feeling like nothing is worth the effort etc. so I think what you say about refilling the well is SO important, so I want to encourage you to take time to do that! I believe wholeheartedly that if you are happier and more content with what your work looks like you will see it reflected in views and revenue, so while I see why it might feel financially precarious to produce less content I hope you find a way to get inspired again!
Re: your mobile phone phase I'm currently really enjoying Walkr! It tracks your steps and then gives you energy points that you can use to explore different planets 😍 It's absolutely adorable
My life changed massively when i had my kids, like you say from someone who wasnt used to really having a schedule, it became a needed thing to be able to work and do everything needed for first my son and then when my daughter came it was tbh very easy due to having those in place, Things have become very difficult tho since loosing my wife to cancer in late 2021 but again having those schedules in place meant that i was able to carry on and do the parenting stuff even going through that huge loss. so its one of my biggest advice to all parents routine!
OMG Hannah..I love it when you say "I have no idea if I am making any sense" cuz to me it makes all the sense in the world!! All the things you are saying are sooo helpful to me. I don't have a baby yet, but am in the final planning stage aka removing my IUD today. The rest is up to the Universe. So far my thoughts have gone rogue for sure, so your video has been settling my mind and making me feel like I am not alone. Thank you more than a ton!!❤❤
I love your motherhood content! I became a mum literally the same month you did, and I’ve loved all your pregnancy and motherhood content. I also love your book videos and fashion content especially since having a baby. It’s great to see content like this produced by a really relatable mum! Some people might be less interested now you’re a mum but other mums like myself will love it!
I love these videos of just life in general. I'm a dude with no kids, and no intention of getting any, same with my friends. It's so cool to get a glimpse of what life as a parent is and what it entails from someone fairly close to my own age.
Re: your work- I am one of the lucky bitches who is about seven months behind you in the mom game. I have been benefiting from your content since you got pregnant, had a baby, and became a mom! It’s very relatable. I love that your videos give me a bit of a preview of next stages.
I don’t have kids, but I think the categories and themes you touched on are helpful for anyone considering their life. I’ve been really enjoying your post-baby content and finding it very insightful, but I was primarily a viewer for your lifestyle, work and hormone diaries content. Maybe allowing your content to drift with your own and viewership’s interest is the way to go?
Thanks for talking about friendships with non-parents so transparently. I'm childless, and most of my friends have kids. I never really asked them about it from their perspective. It's nice to hear you're aware, even if there probably isn't anything you can do about it. Hope some of your close friends become parents and you can have that connection. It's hard being the odd one out either way.
Too right. I hate being the only one without. I can’t have kids and no one is interested in a relationship with me. All my friends have families of some kind. It’s hard to keep relationships going when I’m fighting the envy monster all the time, they are busy with ‘meaningful’ lives and I’m busy with health issues. Net result is very lonely me. Hope you are managing better than me.
17:55 I completely understand if this might sound like being too personal but if you'll feel comfortable, hearing about this preparation would be much appreciated.
It''s so true about friendships in London being tricky sometimes. I don't have children, but even without I can find London oddly isolating sometimes. My friends back home are all about a 10 minute drive from eachother, and can meet up for a 20 minute coffee at a drop of a hat. My closest friends are 35 minutes away minimum. Most about an hour. It can make having a tight knit group of friends really hard.
Board games! We loved them pre babies, missed them in the early years - but now we’re in the primary school years and a Sunday morning tea / biscuits / board games with the whole family is a significant part of our family routine!
For me the parenting experience changes drastically as time goes by. I found the first 4 years really hard... Even regretting parenthood and struggling a lot with my self of self and life. But ever since... I really love parenting and I can not wait for everything to come! So so worth the first 4 years. Happier than ever before. I have a really cool posse.
Coca-Cola lover here 🙋 I started "diluting" coke with soda water. Started off 2/3 coke 1/3 soda water, and now my standard is 3/4 soda water 1/4 coke. Hope this helps, Hannah!
I loved your content before you became a mum (especially the hormone diaries), but I find your most recent More Hannah content is so my vibe! Obviously the parenting stuff cos I’m also a new mum but all the clothes and style related stuff is just *chef’s kiss
I found that video so interesting! I also never really got the feeling of being a mom with my first child but after the second I suddenly felt SO MUCH like one at all time , also at work, etc....
Even though I agree with the reasoning, try and hang out with friends outside of just special occasions too. Maybe make a "friend date night", or something similar. I say this because as a friend, I want to feel our friendship on just a random Tuesday here and there too.
I'm currently 37 weeks, first to have a kid in my group of friends, so it's sooo nice to see how other people are handing parenting, what changed, what didn't etc. I know that every family situation is different but at least it gives me some idea how things could be :) I'm reaaaally curious to see how my friendships are going to change, since some of them have already changed in pregnancy.
This is such an inspiring video about how parenthood doesn't mean my life will have to end. I can do have friendships, hobbies, a strengthened relationship with my hypothetical future partner if i find a good compatible match etc etc. I see so much of myself in your personality even though I'm not planning to get pregnant, and i never saw your videos until this channel and some of your motherhood content. But I'm loving for it. I plan to become a foster caregiver/ foster parent and really want to find a partner to do this with me. And i just feel so excited to see this update about all these things people don't usually talk about.
The barbie movie is the movie that finally motivated me to get to the cinema again, I've not been since pre baby and it was totally worth the negotiation to go!
I don't have kids and don't plan on having any, but I'm at the age where lots of my friends are starting to have them. I am always happy to learn how to better accommodate them!! I sometimes miss very obvious things about planning around kids, especially when my first friend had her kids. There's just things you don't think about if you're not responsible for one! I think that if they're true friends, they'll be happy to adjust plans to suit you two better, the same way I'm sure you understand when situations just can't be made kid-friendly.
I have a 3yo and 11 mo and I definitely buy more clothes in this season of life. Part of it is that my body has changed so a portion of my clothes I can't wear anymore, part of that is not feeling as confident in my body and wanting to get clothes that make me feel good, part of it I think is wanting to invest more in me instead for once when so much of my time and energy goes to my kids. I matter too! I think all of those reasons are good enough reasons to shop. For everything there is a season and sometimes that season is not now.
As a mom to a 5 month old this is all very relatable. What I do during breastfeeding to keep me entertained is reading on my ereader. Very easy to use one handed and feels more relaxing than for example playing mobile games
Just wanted to say I love the videos you make on motherhood! I’m a mum to a 17 month old and I have to pick and choose which videos I can watch these days ! But I always choose the motherhood ones from you ! I probably don’t watch all your others cos we’ll TIME! But I certainly appreciate the ones I do watch a lot ! Just wqnted to say that after you said about numbers of views ! Maybe part of reason of numbers is there are more mums watching who have less time ? Just thinking
Me + a child is totally how I feel which is not what I expected. I do feel like my life is better now that he's a bit older, and that's partly because his pure joy is infectious and not something you get from very many other sources as an adult, but it's also because my "spare" time is used more towards connecting with my family than with vegging on screens. I've also been pretty much forced to have a consistent early wake up time for the first time in my life, so that probably makes a difference. I'm happier after making the effort to exercise consistently. I don't think it's so much about weight as it is feeling proud of exercising, getting those sweet happy hormones, and getting some time alone for myself. The biggest thing I didn't consider is that weekends and standard work holidays are no longer rest days for me because the kid also doesn't have daycare and looking after him is plenty of work. Also, constant chores. The kid creates so much mess all the time and I also want to keep things cleaner with him around, so the chores are a full time job they didn't used to be.
Really wasn't sure whether to comment this or not but I suppose it can only help in terms of data about why your views might be down (or at least indicate one potential factor aside from algorithm). I've watched your videos since the very early days of your channel, and I feel like I still watch your videos not because I'm interested in sex & relationship content enough to naturally click on a YT video about it, but because I enjoy coming back to watch you talk (and ofc the quality of the content is great and I do find them interesting when I watch them). If I'm not interested at all in the title of a video I might not click on it, but this is rarer (and has always been the case). However, I don't watch any of the new &friends videos - not because I haven't tried, because I've tried quite a few, but because the joy I get from your videos is from hearing you talk. I'm sure it's more than just me that feels this way about some of the newer content, but I'm sure that as these videos find a new audience you can expect views to go up again regardless. Not that I'm implying this is definitely a reason. Hope I didn't step over the line as I love your videos and watching them feels like coming back to an old friend 😊 Lots of love
Thank you so much for voicing these feelings. I have an almost 2 year old (time flies...), and I still do not feel like a mum, even though I love my child more than anything in the world. It is true that people perceive mums different, I perceive mums differently. And as much as I love her and wouldn't change her for anything, I also think if I would have made a different choice with my life and not have a child (I didnt always want children), I would have had an equally full and exciting life pursuing other things. They are just different ways to have a fulfilling and exciting life. The three things I miss from my life before are lie-ins, hobbies and the ability of being sponatenous... but it is something I can live with for that little cheeky smile.
I've got two big groups of friends: 1) university friends, most of them got babies years ago, so we had much less time to talk to; 2) work friends, we tend to hang out together much more, and among them I'm the first mom. It's fascinating how different the dynamic with these groups are. All mom-friends regurlary check in on me, especially during the first weeks, it was almost every day, it was AMAZING! And after that I thought - oh, I should probably do that to my other new parent friends in the future, so they don't feel too isolated.
I usually never comment but this video resonated so much with me it´s crazy.. 😅 1. I think you shouldn´t be so hard on yourself regarding your career and financial situation. I also have a son that was born at the end of last year and I really couldn´t imagine working as much as you do in addition to taking care of a small child. I also live in Germany where it´s common that one parent stays at home at least for the first year during which you get 65% of your previous income. Should be the standard everywhere in my opinion.. 2. Regarding relationships and friendships I also had the exact same experience especially because I´m also the first one in my family and old friend group to have a child.. I also feel like I could be a better friend sometimes but then again I would have hoped to have way more (or even some) support and understanding from my friends. I think it´s unfortunate because I was someone that always said that having kids won´t change anything about my friendships etc. before but turns out that was a bit too optimistic 3. Lastly, habits haha.. I just found it pretty funny because I think it comes pretty often with parenthood that your phone becomes your new best friend and you suddenly are shopping way more than you did before. I for sure do but mainly baby clothes. This child is growing so fast it´s ridiculous Anyways, I wish you the best and looking forward to your next videos 🥰
Not very far in but a quick word on intrusive thoughts. I'm very glad I knew about intrusive thoughts before becoming a mum because they are so scary. Any new parent needs to remember that an intrusive thought about your baby is your brain's way of reminding you how precious your child is. You play out a truly horrible scenario in your head so that you are extra careful of your bundle of joy. They ease off the older your child gets. If you are the sort of person who gets the urge to throw yourself off when you're crossing a bridge but you're not suicidal then I think it's more likely you'll have intrusive thoughts as a parent. It's the same thing your brain senses danger and plays the what if you jump scenario to make sure you are careful. Not everyone gets these thoughts and it can be a challenge to explain them to people who don't. 'no I don't actually want to jump off the bridge I just feel like I do...'
My one-handed hobby rec if ebooks don't bug you is reading books on your phone! I'm very much not an ebook guy usually, but I've gotten in the habit this year of reading books from my library on Libby when I cant' sleep. It's still screen time, I guess, but I really like the interface and find it very easy to read one-handed.
Literally currently playing Two Dots and I’m obsessed. I regularly have to delete it off my phone bc I don’t have time to kill while breastfeeding a baby lol
I am currently pregnant due in October really excited. Im not gaining to much weight but i had to get rid of a lot of clothes which I had to anyway. I have a harder time putting on clothes even more than i did just dealing with my disabilities. Growing up I always knew i wanted a baby and family of my own, but i was worried that i couldnt have my own due to my cerebral palsy. Other family members are worried now i think because i have a mobility aid and they see now how i struggle worried about my delivery. My pregnancy was unexpected to my boyfriend and i but our relationship is stronger we support each other.
I’m not a parent but I had to laugh at how much I related to your full sugar coke dilemna (and was playing the filling colour tubes mobile game while watching lmao). There’s really a transition from “go me not drinking and feeling great!” to “someone help me before I lose my teeth”. I really enjoy the 0.0 beers that are coming out, they’re getting way better 😊 and Seedlip 0% liqueurs are nice … but yeah so far nothing hits quite like the cola and I’m v keen to follow along and see if you find any answers here 😂
since my sister in law has had children ive seen her a lot more and actually talked with her a lot more and its been wonderful becoming proper friends with her as we bond over caring for her babies !! i do plan to have kids so its nice seeing what she does and learning what does work and doesnt and where we overlap in terms of how we approach parenting etc for mobile games: love a picross, a logic games, trivia apps, one of those ones where u shoot balls at bricks ! angry birds dream blast is decent fun as is cookie run kingdom since theres always some nonsense to do but that one is harder one handed
I myself have a 10 month old and also noticed that I'm way more into shopping clothes than before! In my case i think it has something to do with 1. big bodily chances in a shorter amount of time 2. priorities of how i want to feel in clothes shifting and 3. it's also a relatively easy to indulge in, just for me hobby even with a baby.
I know exactly what you mean Hannah, my kids are 25, 20 and 18, so i definitely feel like a mum, but at 45, i still don't feel like an adult. I'm still waiting for that to kick in!
Having heard/seen a lot from you about the change to not feeling the pressure to wear makeup I had a bit of a question. I always notice and love the nail polish you have in videos and am also admittedly always a bit impressed as someone who cannot maintain a manicure for more than about 2 hours. Do you feel pressure to always have like well done up nails for videos and or is it just a way that you tend to maintain your nails?
don't feel the pressure there at all! I occasionally get a shellac gel manicure done which usually last about 2-3 weeks and then I'll go weeks/months without anything and my nails are a mess 😅 it's a treat for me getting my nails done but I don't care enough or have enough time to do it myself at home lol!
Hannah I don’t know you personally but I wanted you to know that who you are (what I see in the videos) inspires me. And I get that work wise it’s been a transitional phase that feels uncertain but I believe that whatever content or not you ‘ll get to do you ‘ll be great at! Watching you be a great role model helps me get a fresh perspective in life and who I can be and I think that’s really important. So I wanted to thank you for all of that!
I am a single teenage (18 this year) living at home who can never and never wants to have kids ,, but do I watch every single one of these videos practically taking notes , yes (I love Hanna she is where most of my sex ed has come from )
My partner always says that the main thing humans want is to feel needed. I think the feelings you have of your life feeling fuller now might be more linked to the fact that you have a human in your house that needs you, rather than any shift in feeling that a child is needed to have a full life. Of course you have your work, but besides the comments section, it might be harder to get that sense of fulfillment of someone needing you when compared to a job where you have a face to face interaction while aiding someone. This is all speculation and I can be entirely wrong, but it is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. Keep doing your amazing work and thank you for everything!
re: life having meaning- my theory is life feels meaningful when you have constraints on your life that are highly personal or important to you, and it helps a lot when they're challenging. Your daily focus is occupied, you have a clear goal/goals, and the flow of your life is directed so that you're not just wondering what to do or feeling like you could do anything that strikes your fancy. I don't think there's anything wrong or controversial with saying having a baby gave your life more meaning, and it's not a knock against your pre-baby life or against those who don't have babies. There is a very high likelihood that something else in this world that would give your life even more meaning than you currently feel. But you don't know what that is, so you can't feel a lack of that theoretical meaning, just as you weren't lacking it prior to motherhood, and just as those who don't have babies aren't lacking it. That's the cool thing about new experiences!!
Mobile phone game rec: Two dots. Really liked Candy Crush and now have completely switched to Two Dots. Much less frustrating, pushes microtransactions less and sooo aesthetically pleasing.
My go-to mobile game is sudoku! Makes me feel like I’m not totally wasting my time, and I am really feeling myself getting better at it! Also great one-handed and a bit more active brain time than with other games :)
It's so refreshing hearing someone talk so positively about having a baby. Maybe it's just people in my life and the Internet I consume but everyone seems to just purely complain about everything to do with babies/toddlers!! I'm a mum of 2under2 and I legitimately love it?? Like it hasn't negatively impacted my mental health/body, my relationship with my husband is stronger than ever etcetera. But it feels like people who are struggling (which is totally valid too!) Totally hate on people actually enjoying these stages 🤷🏼♀️
I like soda water and blackcurrant. In pubs they r usually not sugar free so u get a bit of a sugar kick. I like the fizzyness and the taste. Loved this video, thanks for your honesty x
If you’re in a place that serves mixed drinks but don’t want to have alcohol, try getting a club soda with a lime and a few dashes of Angostura bitters. IMO it has cola vibes but practically zero sugar.
I really like this channel and prefer it from your main. I mean the first videos I seen was hormone diaries the first series. I like the second channel videos I just find them more interesting to watch.
Thank you for talking about FOMO. We are also the first ones in our active friend group to become parents and I really hope to find some parent friends because I don't have any
I watched a video just a week or so ago that mentioned how stores figured out a long time ago from various studies performed that happy shoppers typically buy more and worry less about the price of the items they're buying than shoppers who are experiencing negative emotions or feeling neutral that day. So it's not surprising you're buying more clothes now post-pregnancy than before because you're clearly happier these days and feeling a lot of joy about your life in general. That will make you buy more. If you want to buy less, try to wait for a day you know you're going to feel annoyed or sad (like pair it with another activity you know puts you in a mood) so you won't be tempted to buy more. That said, negative emotions will tend to make you think buying is pointless and you end up not getting things you needed because you just don't see the point. Lol. So is there a good solution? Who knows. But I'm happy for you that you're happy these days. :)
I really enjoy Honkai Star Rail as a mobile game. The world exploration is maybe not one handed friendly but the combat definitely is - literally has an auto battle button.
It’s so interesting hearing your experience post-birth. I have such a different experience and that’s just based on my specific circumstances and I find it so wild that it’s so different!
I would also love to get a video on good short games to play as parents 😊 we also miss our board game time! So some good short 2 player games are very welcome 🙏🏻❤️
If you’re able to take a theatre trip soon, please go see Operation Mincemeat. It’s phenomenally good, so funny, and worthwhile time spent if it’s time away from baby!
I know it means refilling the well so unless you could utilize audio book resources or podcasts on the subject, but I thought you might find the topic of data bias of women fascinating. I haven't read the book yet but it's called invisible women by Caroline Crado Perez and I can see from your story graph you have read it. I just think it might be a fascinating topic to delve into on your main channel, or even to bring to the podcast with someone really knowledgeable on the podcast. Keep up the amazing work and remember for many of us we look forward to all and any videos you upload, I tend to go back and rewatch videos as comfort videos ❤
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would love to see a tutorial for childfree friends on how to be a good and considerate host. what kind of invitations are easy to say yes to and how can they help make parenting easier? Loved hearing your thoughts!
Seconding this!
Yess such a good idea
yes I'd really like to know this. I'm sure there are lots of non-parents who want to be good hosts to their parent friends and just don't know how.
Yes. I always get feedback that I'm a good non-parent friend to friends with small children and I'm always looking for more tips. 😊
Yes!!! That would be absolutely great!
I’ve watched your videos for years now Hannah.
I’m a 62 year old married man. My wife has had dementia for 11 years. I know I’m not your target audience but I think your videos are so helpful to folks of all ages.
Just wanted to say as an older bloke. I still have the same mind set at I did as a young adult.
I thought one day I’d feel old. My body is falling apart but I’m still the same person in my head.
Funny how we think life & time will change us. Btw. Your skin is looking great. Thanks for the videos Hannah. ☮️
I’m sorry you’re going through that with your wife. It’s an evil thing. Hooray for people like Hannah who keep us company on TH-cam while the world burns around us……makes a big difference when you are in a situation that can feel so isolating. Sending lots of hugs.
❤
Would be interested to see a video about working with a career coach
ooooh good to know. not 100% sure I have many coherent thoughts to share at this stage but will definitely keep in mind!
Second this!
Yess that would be so interesting
Yes! I was just thinking this!
agree would be interesting
My friend group went through that period of barely seeing each other once people started having kids. During some years, we would only see each other once a year. But if you have a good group, you will come back together once the kids are older. I mean it might take like 16 years, but that’s life!
(My core group is going on 36 years together.)
As a 28 y/o who just bought a house and is celebrating 8 years with my bf, I am very much weighing up whether or not to have kids and this is super helpful and insightful ❤
congratulations on buying a house!
@@bonitaw7658 thank you!!
Your channel feels like such a warm and inviting place for people with all different lifestyles! Can’t tell you how much I appreciate that as a single, childfree person, I never have to worry that you’re about to casually devalue my life, luuulz. (Honestly, even a lot of really lovely people DO think that parents’ lives are more meaningful overall, but they’ll skirt around that sentiment a bit because it’s not as socially acceptable to just come out and say it anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). Interestingly, I always liked your content but I’ve watched a lot more since you had a baby. I just like the way your mind works, and parenting is such a drastic change that it tends to inspire a lot of interesting reflections and insights from people! This video is a perfect example of that :).
Aw thanks so much! It’s so important to me to make sure I’m not accidentally making statements like that that make people with different lifestyles to me feel alienated or judged so means a lot that you find my videos warm and inviting! Thank you!
This video is so introspective! Kind of mind-blowing the level of self-awareness on display here.
ha that's so interesting you think that... I don't know if my self-awareness is more or less than others but maybe it has something to do with being watched by lots of people on the internet?? maybe it forces you in a really brutal way to be more self-aware!? I dunno.. 😅
As a non-parent who would like to become a parent in the future, I don't think the feeling of your life having meaning is bad. Now that you are a parent, you have a responsibility to care for your child to the best of your ability. That won't go away, even when your child grows up. As adults it is still very benificial to have our families and especially our parents for support and advice.
Morally, you now have a non-optional goal. Before you were a parent, your goals were optional. You could of course have goals like career progression, friendship, romantic relationships, doing work that benifits your community, ect, but you could choose how important each of those was to you, and you didn't have to do all of them. Being a parent is different. I think it's good and natural to feel more strongly about your love for your child than you did about the things which were important to your life before you became a parent.
I agree. I've felt the same thing in smaller ways when taking on projects that mean a lot to me. It's a good feeling to have purpose and care deeply, and obviously having a kid is a very significant way those feelings can manifest.
I never plan on having kids but I agree with this outlook! It's also an incredibly permanent change that affects basically every aspect of your life. Most identities that we gain as adults will eventually change or go away, but this one is genuinely forever.
I don't know if you've already made it, but it would be really cool to see a video about some of the tough conversations, questions, and expectations you and Dan had together during pregnancy
Yes !!
I felt really different about work when I went back after having both my babies. I still care about my job and love teaching but I don't want to progress in the management side of things that I used to as I know how much time it takes up and I want to be around for my sons and not at work all the time. My priorities have definitely changed, I still want to have my career but I don't want it to be everything anymore.
No mobile phone game rec, but in Leena’s video recently about how she gets so much reading done, she said she’d replaced scrolling with ebook reading, and I’ve found this works really well for graphic novels and comic books on the phone. Might be an idea if you’re really not happy about the mobile games!
(But also, cut yourself some slack! You’re literally sustaining a human being with your body. That’s awesome, you don’t need to be doing anything more productive!) 💛
I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that your audience has grown with you! Sex education isn't as relevant to me anymore as a 32 year old married person with a 7 month old. I love your parenting content and I hope you don't think it's "lesser" than your main channel. I watched your "24 hours with a X month old" videos multiple times and they were SO valuable!! Watching someone else go through the things I was going through meant the world, especially in a time that is inherently isolating.
Also, SO JEALOUS of your family relationships!!! Can I borrow your parents please? :)
This is me too.
as ive gotten into my early/mid twenties, I've realised I don't think children are for me. Ive always struggled w my mental health and I've learnt that I am autistic. I just don't think I have the mental capacity and energy to care for a child for 18+ years of my life. It takes so much effort to look after myself, let alone another person. I'm open to changing my mind again in the future, but I'm trying to see how I feel about calling myself child free now.
My life has changed immensely since becoming a mum almost 3 years ago. I went from very indoorsy, theatre performer and teacher, to incredibly outdoorsy homeschooler 🤷🏼♀️ I love how much it's changed and I love that my daughter was the catalyst.
The clothes point is so interesting!! Maybe it has to do with you finding self-expression and "me" time outside of parenting and work, refilling your cup by buying clothes you like and that you feel like suit your colour theory. :)
Oooh yes this resonates!
I love hearing you talk about your career so honestly! It reminds me that I don’t have to have everything figured out all the time :)❤
I am one week postpartum and loved this! I have no idea how things will change for me, but it’s nice to hear someone else talk about how it has been for them and see what I might be looking forward to!
Re: Your Work & Finances -- I'm 60 years old with a 32 year old daughter and 4 month old granddaughter and love it when you talk about parenthood.
That's such a great point about 'new' mum friends. I remember my mum telling me recently that she didn't enjoy the mum/baby scene and groups all that much. Not because she didn't meet nice people, but because all the conversation revolved around babies. When she got out of the house to meet up with people, she really wanted a break from being focused on new motherhood and talk about other parts of life. Fortunately, a lot of her friends had slightly older kids, so it was fairly easy to bring us babies/toddlers along and be accommodated, but also not be the focus of everything.
I heard ‘lie ins’ as lions and was so confused when you said “lions are a thing of the past, even on weekends” great video though! I resonate with so much of it as a new parent who’s also self employed
I heard lions too!
it makes the MOST sense (the soul stuff) inner image not matching up with outer perception. I just wanna say Hannah, you are genuinely one of THE most grounding ppl on the internet to watch in terms of this type of content. Having a slightly more than alot complicated relationship with my own mother... 🙈being able to watch someone take on being a parent- without it consuming them, and being so frank and honest about it n the process is so lovely. Thank you!! 💖
I think your life feels full because being a parent was something you wanted and you are happy working in that project. Even if your life was good before, you were holding space to have a kid and have that be part of life. Some people have that and other people don’t, so all lives are full but based on what you wanted, it was something you wanted to bring in. I honestly felt similarly after I completed my masters degree-my life was good before, but I feel more complete having done that. I think I will feel similarly about kids when I take that on.
I swapped from full coke to coke zero and it hits the spot for me in the way full coke used to. If it's not something you fully vibe with - change to diet coke for about a month and then swap to coke zero, it's close enough that after diet coke it feels great. That's all the advice I can give, but trust me, I used to drink a LOT of full coke so if there's one thing I can give advice on, it's this! Also, keep it in the fridge, a cold coke (of any sugar amount) is always better than a room temperature one.
I find coke zero less offensive than diet coke so I might give that a go! most pubs don't have coke zero though which is mostly where I drink cokes lol 😅
I second that! I prefer pepsi max over coke zero but you get used to its taste pretty quickly ... I don't like regular pepsi/cola at all now.
But did you hear about sugar alternatives causing health problems? I always felt off when I had sugar free drinks and I think it was the world health organisation said that sugar free drinks can cause your blood pressure to drop....I have low blood pressure anyway so that makes so much sense to me now! I always prefered to have sugar then the manufactured sweeteners, its natural and people have been having sugar for ever! EDIT yes there is a WHO article warning about the effects of Non Sugar Sweeteners (NSS)
@@lolosrainydaysespecially as Hannah has ibd id be careful, I have ibs and sweetners f me up and they f up my bf with ibd worse than me
@@dovestone_I have IBD too, Crohn's disease. I hope you are doing well!
I feel like I’m looking at my future! Currently pregnant, and I’m the first of any of my friends to have kids. And it’ll be the first grandchild on both sides, though parents are a plane ride away. So glad to have your videos as a resource. I’ve been rewatching so much of your pregnancy content lately! Thank you for doing what you do, Hannah! 🧡
Non-coke pub drink reccommendation - if anywhere will do you an arnold palmer - it's half cold normal tea without milk (although other teas can work) & half lemonade - tastes so much better than the sum of it's parts - so delicious and can be like half the sugary fizzyness of a coke!
I can really relate to being perceived differently while not feeling like I have changed that much... Though I can't deny I have way less time to do the things I love! My son just turned 2 and it feels like I am getting some that time back, lately: love it!!
To me, one of the main differences after kids is the change of perspective. There is suddenly someone else in the world that is infinitely more important than yourself.
Our babies were born 10 days apart, and hearing your experiences 15 months in was so nice. I don't have any mum friends so it's nice to be validated by an internet stranger sometimes!
Speaking of gratitude, I am thankful for you and your friendship and I am praying for you and your little family
I had my baby at 21 at the start of my career, I felt so lost for a couple of years - I just want you to know you do gain back so much control and my sense of self is now stronger than ever now I have a 5 and a half year old. I’m progressing with my career too and it’s a big part of who I am.
It’s still a struggle but it gets so much easier and I feel like I’ve grown so much as a person, and parenting has been a massive part of that.
You’re an amazing mum and business woman, the spark with work will come back I promise xx
As for non-alcoholic drinks, I find a mix of half fruit juice (pineapple, cranberry, apple…) and half sparkling water usually does it for me. If you’re somewhere that has cocktails, they can easily make it for you, and otherwise you just order one of each and mix it yourself.
I think my career is the thing I worry most about when it comes to the idea of having kids. Having witnessed several women in my field basically fall out of "the know how" frightens me to know end seeing how very difficult it is to jump back into things. As a woman who also sympathizes with these new moms, I also find it frustrating to work with someone who is taking back their responsibilities, but also has odd hours and is basically a new/old coworker again. It is a very strange dynamic and not something that is talked about enough from both the new mom's perspective and her coworkers. While my career doesn't define me, I am very proud of how far I have gotten in this career and would like to continue on this path to be an example to my potential future children.
I felt really similarly before deciding that we were ready for kids. And then I realized that (at least from what i understand now) it's not so much that having kids and missing out on work experiences makes the new mums less good at their work, rather when one realizes that the career game is just a pie eating contest where the prize is more pie, and there is more to life, then they are ready to have kids.
I'm personally very happy that I got full from my carrier before having kids as I also see examples how much more difficult parenting is when you feel like you gave up your top priority or even identity for it.
And now I have a much healthier work life balance. But the tiredness is still real lol.
I think the friend issue depends not only on what's changed for the parent but also what's going on for the friend. I often hear about frustrations from parents who feel that their life has fundamentally changed and they are disappointed their friends haven't adapted with them. I rarely hear the conversation the other way round re life changing events for non parents.
You’re not a broken record! I love your videos 🥰 been watching you for years now Hannah and not going anywhere!
Hearing that you still feel like yourself; and that you have a child minder and career coach is so helpful for me. I am a 31 year old woman who loves her career which is tied closely to my identity - I want a family but I am really apprehensivev to the affect it will take on my identity and career.
A little late to this one because I burnout made me need to split viewing it into two sessions, but (partly because of said burnout) I don’t think the work thoughts were boring at all! I’ve been feeling so many of the same things that you describe, not really knowing if I like what I do, feeling like nothing is worth the effort etc. so I think what you say about refilling the well is SO important, so I want to encourage you to take time to do that! I believe wholeheartedly that if you are happier and more content with what your work looks like you will see it reflected in views and revenue, so while I see why it might feel financially precarious to produce less content I hope you find a way to get inspired again!
Re: your mobile phone phase
I'm currently really enjoying Walkr! It tracks your steps and then gives you energy points that you can use to explore different planets 😍 It's absolutely adorable
My life changed massively when i had my kids, like you say from someone who wasnt used to really having a schedule, it became a needed thing to be able to work and do everything needed for first my son and then when my daughter came it was tbh very easy due to having those in place,
Things have become very difficult tho since loosing my wife to cancer in late 2021 but again having those schedules in place meant that i was able to carry on and do the parenting stuff even going through that huge loss.
so its one of my biggest advice to all parents routine!
I’m about 6 weeks pregnant at the minute so can’t wait to watch
OMG Hannah..I love it when you say "I have no idea if I am making any sense" cuz to me it makes all the sense in the world!! All the things you are saying are sooo helpful to me. I don't have a baby yet, but am in the final planning stage aka removing my IUD today. The rest is up to the Universe. So far my thoughts have gone rogue for sure, so your video has been settling my mind and making me feel like I am not alone. Thank you more than a ton!!❤❤
I love your motherhood content! I became a mum literally the same month you did, and I’ve loved all your pregnancy and motherhood content. I also love your book videos and fashion content especially since having a baby. It’s great to see content like this produced by a really relatable mum! Some people might be less interested now you’re a mum but other mums like myself will love it!
I love these videos of just life in general. I'm a dude with no kids, and no intention of getting any, same with my friends. It's so cool to get a glimpse of what life as a parent is and what it entails from someone fairly close to my own age.
Re: your work- I am one of the lucky bitches who is about seven months behind you in the mom game. I have been benefiting from your content since you got pregnant, had a baby, and became a mom! It’s very relatable. I love that your videos give me a bit of a preview of next stages.
I don’t have kids, but I think the categories and themes you touched on are helpful for anyone considering their life. I’ve been really enjoying your post-baby content and finding it very insightful, but I was primarily a viewer for your lifestyle, work and hormone diaries content. Maybe allowing your content to drift with your own and viewership’s interest is the way to go?
Thanks for talking about friendships with non-parents so transparently. I'm childless, and most of my friends have kids.
I never really asked them about it from their perspective. It's nice to hear you're aware, even if there probably isn't anything you can do about it.
Hope some of your close friends become parents and you can have that connection. It's hard being the odd one out either way.
Too right. I hate being the only one without. I can’t have kids and no one is interested in a relationship with me. All my friends have families of some kind. It’s hard to keep relationships going when I’m fighting the envy monster all the time, they are busy with ‘meaningful’ lives and I’m busy with health issues. Net result is very lonely me. Hope you are managing better than me.
17:55 I completely understand if this might sound like being too personal but if you'll feel comfortable, hearing about this preparation would be much appreciated.
It''s so true about friendships in London being tricky sometimes. I don't have children, but even without I can find London oddly isolating sometimes. My friends back home are all about a 10 minute drive from eachother, and can meet up for a 20 minute coffee at a drop of a hat. My closest friends are 35 minutes away minimum. Most about an hour. It can make having a tight knit group of friends really hard.
Board games! We loved them pre babies, missed them in the early years - but now we’re in the primary school years and a Sunday morning tea / biscuits / board games with the whole family is a significant part of our family routine!
For me the parenting experience changes drastically as time goes by.
I found the first 4 years really hard... Even regretting parenthood and struggling a lot with my self of self and life. But ever since... I really love parenting and I can not wait for everything to come! So so worth the first 4 years. Happier than ever before.
I have a really cool posse.
Coca-Cola lover here 🙋 I started "diluting" coke with soda water. Started off 2/3 coke 1/3 soda water, and now my standard is 3/4 soda water 1/4 coke. Hope this helps, Hannah!
I loved your content before you became a mum (especially the hormone diaries), but I find your most recent More Hannah content is so my vibe! Obviously the parenting stuff cos I’m also a new mum but all the clothes and style related stuff is just *chef’s kiss
I found that video so interesting! I also never really got the feeling of being a mom with my first child but after the second I suddenly felt SO MUCH like one at all time , also at work, etc....
Lol my experience is so different! Rowan is 8 weeks younger than my daughter! Im also 37 and not working. Wild!
In what way is it different? Out of curiosity!
As someone who is 21 weeks pregnant, I'm taking notes over here! 🧐🧐
Even though I agree with the reasoning, try and hang out with friends outside of just special occasions too. Maybe make a "friend date night", or something similar. I say this because as a friend, I want to feel our friendship on just a random Tuesday here and there too.
I'm currently 37 weeks, first to have a kid in my group of friends, so it's sooo nice to see how other people are handing parenting, what changed, what didn't etc. I know that every family situation is different but at least it gives me some idea how things could be :) I'm reaaaally curious to see how my friendships are going to change, since some of them have already changed in pregnancy.
I’m a therapist and it’s normal to experience intrusive thoughts and for them to increase postpartum 😊
This is such an inspiring video about how parenthood doesn't mean my life will have to end. I can do have friendships, hobbies, a strengthened relationship with my hypothetical future partner if i find a good compatible match etc etc. I see so much of myself in your personality even though I'm not planning to get pregnant, and i never saw your videos until this channel and some of your motherhood content. But I'm loving for it. I plan to become a foster caregiver/ foster parent and really want to find a partner to do this with me. And i just feel so excited to see this update about all these things people don't usually talk about.
The barbie movie is the movie that finally motivated me to get to the cinema again, I've not been since pre baby and it was totally worth the negotiation to go!
Could listen to an entire video about friendships before / after having babies!
I don't have kids and don't plan on having any, but I'm at the age where lots of my friends are starting to have them. I am always happy to learn how to better accommodate them!! I sometimes miss very obvious things about planning around kids, especially when my first friend had her kids. There's just things you don't think about if you're not responsible for one! I think that if they're true friends, they'll be happy to adjust plans to suit you two better, the same way I'm sure you understand when situations just can't be made kid-friendly.
I have a 3yo and 11 mo and I definitely buy more clothes in this season of life. Part of it is that my body has changed so a portion of my clothes I can't wear anymore, part of that is not feeling as confident in my body and wanting to get clothes that make me feel good, part of it I think is wanting to invest more in me instead for once when so much of my time and energy goes to my kids. I matter too! I think all of those reasons are good enough reasons to shop. For everything there is a season and sometimes that season is not now.
As a mom to a 5 month old this is all very relatable. What I do during breastfeeding to keep me entertained is reading on my ereader. Very easy to use one handed and feels more relaxing than for example playing mobile games
Thanks for sharing! I’m
Not a parent don’t know if I wanna or not but my sister is planning to be so this is helpful!❤
Just wanted to say I love the videos you make on motherhood! I’m a mum to a 17 month old and I have to pick and choose which videos I can watch these days ! But I always choose the motherhood ones from you ! I probably don’t watch all your others cos we’ll TIME! But I certainly appreciate the ones I do watch a lot ! Just wqnted to say that after you said about numbers of views ! Maybe part of reason of numbers is there are more mums watching who have less time ? Just thinking
Me + a child is totally how I feel which is not what I expected.
I do feel like my life is better now that he's a bit older, and that's partly because his pure joy is infectious and not something you get from very many other sources as an adult, but it's also because my "spare" time is used more towards connecting with my family than with vegging on screens. I've also been pretty much forced to have a consistent early wake up time for the first time in my life, so that probably makes a difference. I'm happier after making the effort to exercise consistently. I don't think it's so much about weight as it is feeling proud of exercising, getting those sweet happy hormones, and getting some time alone for myself.
The biggest thing I didn't consider is that weekends and standard work holidays are no longer rest days for me because the kid also doesn't have daycare and looking after him is plenty of work. Also, constant chores. The kid creates so much mess all the time and I also want to keep things cleaner with him around, so the chores are a full time job they didn't used to be.
Really wasn't sure whether to comment this or not but I suppose it can only help in terms of data about why your views might be down (or at least indicate one potential factor aside from algorithm). I've watched your videos since the very early days of your channel, and I feel like I still watch your videos not because I'm interested in sex & relationship content enough to naturally click on a YT video about it, but because I enjoy coming back to watch you talk (and ofc the quality of the content is great and I do find them interesting when I watch them). If I'm not interested at all in the title of a video I might not click on it, but this is rarer (and has always been the case). However, I don't watch any of the new &friends videos - not because I haven't tried, because I've tried quite a few, but because the joy I get from your videos is from hearing you talk. I'm sure it's more than just me that feels this way about some of the newer content, but I'm sure that as these videos find a new audience you can expect views to go up again regardless. Not that I'm implying this is definitely a reason. Hope I didn't step over the line as I love your videos and watching them feels like coming back to an old friend 😊 Lots of love
This would also explain why this channel is thriving, too.
I agree. I haven’t watched a new TH-cam channel in years. The personality ranks higher than the content for me.
Same for me!@@annaw9687
Thank you so much for voicing these feelings. I have an almost 2 year old (time flies...), and I still do not feel like a mum, even though I love my child more than anything in the world. It is true that people perceive mums different, I perceive mums differently. And as much as I love her and wouldn't change her for anything, I also think if I would have made a different choice with my life and not have a child (I didnt always want children), I would have had an equally full and exciting life pursuing other things. They are just different ways to have a fulfilling and exciting life. The three things I miss from my life before are lie-ins, hobbies and the ability of being sponatenous... but it is something I can live with for that little cheeky smile.
I've got two big groups of friends: 1) university friends, most of them got babies years ago, so we had much less time to talk to; 2) work friends, we tend to hang out together much more, and among them I'm the first mom.
It's fascinating how different the dynamic with these groups are. All mom-friends regurlary check in on me, especially during the first weeks, it was almost every day, it was AMAZING!
And after that I thought - oh, I should probably do that to my other new parent friends in the future, so they don't feel too isolated.
I usually never comment but this video resonated so much with me it´s crazy.. 😅
1. I think you shouldn´t be so hard on yourself regarding your career and financial situation. I also have a son that was born at the end of last year and I really couldn´t imagine working as much as you do in addition to taking care of a small child. I also live in Germany where it´s common that one parent stays at home at least for the first year during which you get 65% of your previous income. Should be the standard everywhere in my opinion..
2. Regarding relationships and friendships I also had the exact same experience especially because I´m also the first one in my family and old friend group to have a child.. I also feel like I could be a better friend sometimes but then again I would have hoped to have way more (or even some) support and understanding from my friends. I think it´s unfortunate because I was someone that always said that having kids won´t change anything about my friendships etc. before but turns out that was a bit too optimistic
3. Lastly, habits haha.. I just found it pretty funny because I think it comes pretty often with parenthood that your phone becomes your new best friend and you suddenly are shopping way more than you did before. I for sure do but mainly baby clothes. This child is growing so fast it´s ridiculous
Anyways, I wish you the best and looking forward to your next videos 🥰
Not very far in but a quick word on intrusive thoughts. I'm very glad I knew about intrusive thoughts before becoming a mum because they are so scary. Any new parent needs to remember that an intrusive thought about your baby is your brain's way of reminding you how precious your child is. You play out a truly horrible scenario in your head so that you are extra careful of your bundle of joy. They ease off the older your child gets. If you are the sort of person who gets the urge to throw yourself off when you're crossing a bridge but you're not suicidal then I think it's more likely you'll have intrusive thoughts as a parent. It's the same thing your brain senses danger and plays the what if you jump scenario to make sure you are careful. Not everyone gets these thoughts and it can be a challenge to explain them to people who don't. 'no I don't actually want to jump off the bridge I just feel like I do...'
My one-handed hobby rec if ebooks don't bug you is reading books on your phone! I'm very much not an ebook guy usually, but I've gotten in the habit this year of reading books from my library on Libby when I cant' sleep. It's still screen time, I guess, but I really like the interface and find it very easy to read one-handed.
Loooooove Libby!
Literally currently playing Two Dots and I’m obsessed. I regularly have to delete it off my phone bc I don’t have time to kill while breastfeeding a baby lol
I am currently pregnant due in October really excited. Im not gaining to much weight but i had to get rid of a lot of clothes which I had to anyway. I have a harder time putting on clothes even more than i did just dealing with my disabilities. Growing up I always knew i wanted a baby and family of my own, but i was worried that i couldnt have my own due to my cerebral palsy. Other family members are worried now i think because i have a mobility aid and they see now how i struggle worried about my delivery. My pregnancy was unexpected to my boyfriend and i but our relationship is stronger we support each other.
I’m not a parent but I had to laugh at how much I related to your full sugar coke dilemna (and was playing the filling colour tubes mobile game while watching lmao). There’s really a transition from “go me not drinking and feeling great!” to “someone help me before I lose my teeth”. I really enjoy the 0.0 beers that are coming out, they’re getting way better 😊 and Seedlip 0% liqueurs are nice … but yeah so far nothing hits quite like the cola and I’m v keen to follow along and see if you find any answers here 😂
since my sister in law has had children ive seen her a lot more and actually talked with her a lot more and its been wonderful becoming proper friends with her as we bond over caring for her babies !! i do plan to have kids so its nice seeing what she does and learning what does work and doesnt and where we overlap in terms of how we approach parenting etc
for mobile games: love a picross, a logic games, trivia apps, one of those ones where u shoot balls at bricks ! angry birds dream blast is decent fun as is cookie run kingdom since theres always some nonsense to do but that one is harder one handed
for the pub order-- seltzer with bitters + a lime! also try out some non alcholic beers if they have em. some are quite good
I myself have a 10 month old and also noticed that I'm way more into shopping clothes than before! In my case i think it has something to do with 1. big bodily chances in a shorter amount of time 2. priorities of how i want to feel in clothes shifting and 3. it's also a relatively easy to indulge in, just for me hobby even with a baby.
I know exactly what you mean Hannah, my kids are 25, 20 and 18, so i definitely feel like a mum, but at 45, i still don't feel like an adult. I'm still waiting for that to kick in!
Having heard/seen a lot from you about the change to not feeling the pressure to wear makeup I had a bit of a question. I always notice and love the nail polish you have in videos and am also admittedly always a bit impressed as someone who cannot maintain a manicure for more than about 2 hours. Do you feel pressure to always have like well done up nails for videos and or is it just a way that you tend to maintain your nails?
don't feel the pressure there at all! I occasionally get a shellac gel manicure done which usually last about 2-3 weeks and then I'll go weeks/months without anything and my nails are a mess 😅 it's a treat for me getting my nails done but I don't care enough or have enough time to do it myself at home lol!
Hannah I don’t know you personally but I wanted you to know that who you are (what I see in the videos) inspires me. And I get that work wise it’s been a transitional phase that feels uncertain but I believe that whatever content or not you ‘ll get to do you ‘ll be great at! Watching you be a great role model helps me get a fresh perspective in life and who I can be and I think that’s really important. So I wanted to thank you for all of that!
I am a single teenage (18 this year) living at home who can never and never wants to have kids ,, but do I watch every single one of these videos practically taking notes , yes (I love Hanna she is where most of my sex ed has come from )
My partner always says that the main thing humans want is to feel needed. I think the feelings you have of your life feeling fuller now might be more linked to the fact that you have a human in your house that needs you, rather than any shift in feeling that a child is needed to have a full life. Of course you have your work, but besides the comments section, it might be harder to get that sense of fulfillment of someone needing you when compared to a job where you have a face to face interaction while aiding someone. This is all speculation and I can be entirely wrong, but it is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. Keep doing your amazing work and thank you for everything!
re: life having meaning- my theory is life feels meaningful when you have constraints on your life that are highly personal or important to you, and it helps a lot when they're challenging. Your daily focus is occupied, you have a clear goal/goals, and the flow of your life is directed so that you're not just wondering what to do or feeling like you could do anything that strikes your fancy. I don't think there's anything wrong or controversial with saying having a baby gave your life more meaning, and it's not a knock against your pre-baby life or against those who don't have babies. There is a very high likelihood that something else in this world that would give your life even more meaning than you currently feel. But you don't know what that is, so you can't feel a lack of that theoretical meaning, just as you weren't lacking it prior to motherhood, and just as those who don't have babies aren't lacking it. That's the cool thing about new experiences!!
I stopped drinking soda by going for seltzer! The carbonation hit the spot for me
Mobile phone game rec: Two dots. Really liked Candy Crush and now have completely switched to Two Dots. Much less frustrating, pushes microtransactions less and sooo aesthetically pleasing.
My go-to mobile game is sudoku! Makes me feel like I’m not totally wasting my time, and I am really feeling myself getting better at it! Also great one-handed and a bit more active brain time than with other games :)
It's so refreshing hearing someone talk so positively about having a baby. Maybe it's just people in my life and the Internet I consume but everyone seems to just purely complain about everything to do with babies/toddlers!! I'm a mum of 2under2 and I legitimately love it?? Like it hasn't negatively impacted my mental health/body, my relationship with my husband is stronger than ever etcetera. But it feels like people who are struggling (which is totally valid too!) Totally hate on people actually enjoying these stages 🤷🏼♀️
I like soda water and blackcurrant. In pubs they r usually not sugar free so u get a bit of a sugar kick. I like the fizzyness and the taste. Loved this video, thanks for your honesty x
If you’re in a place that serves mixed drinks but don’t want to have alcohol, try getting a club soda with a lime and a few dashes of Angostura bitters. IMO it has cola vibes but practically zero sugar.
I really like this channel and prefer it from your main. I mean the first videos I seen was hormone diaries the first series. I like the second channel videos I just find them more interesting to watch.
You gesticulate so much, Hannah! 🤚👋🤌
Thank you for talking about FOMO. We are also the first ones in our active friend group to become parents and I really hope to find some parent friends because I don't have any
I watched a video just a week or so ago that mentioned how stores figured out a long time ago from various studies performed that happy shoppers typically buy more and worry less about the price of the items they're buying than shoppers who are experiencing negative emotions or feeling neutral that day. So it's not surprising you're buying more clothes now post-pregnancy than before because you're clearly happier these days and feeling a lot of joy about your life in general. That will make you buy more. If you want to buy less, try to wait for a day you know you're going to feel annoyed or sad (like pair it with another activity you know puts you in a mood) so you won't be tempted to buy more. That said, negative emotions will tend to make you think buying is pointless and you end up not getting things you needed because you just don't see the point. Lol. So is there a good solution? Who knows. But I'm happy for you that you're happy these days. :)
I really enjoy Honkai Star Rail as a mobile game. The world exploration is maybe not one handed friendly but the combat definitely is - literally has an auto battle button.
It’s so interesting hearing your experience post-birth. I have such a different experience and that’s just based on my specific circumstances and I find it so wild that it’s so different!
I would also love to get a video on good short games to play as parents 😊 we also miss our board game time! So some good short 2 player games are very welcome 🙏🏻❤️
If you’re able to take a theatre trip soon, please go see Operation Mincemeat. It’s phenomenally good, so funny, and worthwhile time spent if it’s time away from baby!
So lovely to hear you talk about you and Dan, so cute!
I know it means refilling the well so unless you could utilize audio book resources or podcasts on the subject, but I thought you might find the topic of data bias of women fascinating. I haven't read the book yet but it's called invisible women by Caroline Crado Perez and I can see from your story graph you have read it. I just think it might be a fascinating topic to delve into on your main channel, or even to bring to the podcast with someone really knowledgeable on the podcast.
Keep up the amazing work and remember for many of us we look forward to all and any videos you upload, I tend to go back and rewatch videos as comfort videos ❤
I read that book so long ago but it was so INTERESTING! I think I have notes on it somewhere so maybe could turn into a video... !