Seven Years Living in Pattaya, Thailand
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ม.ค. 2019
- #JeremyClodfelter #Pattaya #DoMoreLife
After seven years living in Pattaya, Thailand, I believe what this expat has to say. I met Steve many months ago on a visa run to Savannakhet, Laos. He shared a few stories with me about living and working in Pattaya. I found his life to be very interesting, so I made a trip to Pattaya, Thailand to interview him for the second time.
In this video, he explains in much more detail what seven years of living in Pattaya, Thailand have been like. He speaks the truth from his own experience living in Pattaya, Thailand as an expat. He has struggled with making bad decisions and poor choices the entire time he has been in Pattaya. He had several failed relationships. Most of his dating took place with girls who work in the entertainment industry in Pattaya. While living in Chon Buri, he had a daughter, who he can no longer see. This has broken him down physically, mentally, and emotionally. Steve is a good man, with a big heart, who struggles when making decisions. I have known him long enough to know that his life will improve as his decision making improves.
He teaches English to support himself and his family. This in an summation of his life, and the life of other westerners in Pattaya.
I encourage everyone to travel to Pattaya once, just for the experience. Steve's holiday turned into a disaster, but yours does not have to. You may even consider your retirement in Thailand.
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I like this guy - so easy to fall into the love trap in Pattaya. You can see he’s a genuinely nice person and gives great advice
Never fall in love with a bar girl never ever. Short time only, all the best to you mate
Yeah, like you get to choose to whom you get in love with.
@@iminonlyifithaspics5451 not one of them lot ya weak
Wow,your honesty probably saved me from a ton of grief.Thank you.
Love this guy , so honest and open and has a great story to tell.
He’s an amazing guy!
One of thousands. Pattaya and BKK's nightlife precincts are pale shells of what they were in the 90s and early noughties, sadly - I knew it was time to get out when I couldn't even walk down the street at 7am without being hassled by a katoey.
That vlog took balls brother. Mad respect to you. I’m sure your best days are ahead of you. Life is for living. All the best for the future brother. Keep vlogging. 👍
This is a really good guy. It's always a pleasure to interview him. Thanks for the comment!
Do you know for sure that it is your child ?
It is admirable that you opened up about your seven years in Thailand and the ups and downs of this time period. It is a good lesson for others who consider relocating to a different country.
Agreed!
Thank you for the honesty.
Hopefully, this may save others a bit or trouble/heartache.
I have been in Thailand for seven years and my life here mirrors yours in many ways.
Saddo
Sad to hear, Best of luck to you mate
Thanks for sharing your story! You´re a good and honest man. Things will get better...keep your head up!
Hey Stevo, Thank you for your very personal vlog. Appreciated :)
This is one of the more wrenching and honest videos ive watched. Thanks for being so candid.
Steve, you are on the road to healing. I know because I'm on the same road (in the USA). Admiting your mistakes and learning it a big step. The next step I am taking is to determine what I want for myself (financial, physical, spiritual... ) and work towards it. I wish you the best in this life I call a journey
Thanks for uploading the video Jeremy. It's good to see this kind of video from time to time, for one it makes a change from a lot of the bar vids that get uploaded, and the "Pattaya is Amazing!" vids. It's good to see a true story from the heart. More interviews with your friend would be awesome. I'm considering switching Chiang Mai with Pattaya at the end of the year for a few months.
Sounds like a good change Jack. Thanks for the comment.
When you go with a Thai girl you get the family as well and that in my experience is where a lot of the troubles begin, hardest thing about living in Thailand is not falling in love. Excellent interview. 👍
Alan Hill true
If the GF was still working... The "daughter" may not be his child.
DNA test for sure (if possible).
That’s a very good point. I hope he reads this. He needs to make sure.
Thank you 🙏Steve for opening up about your personal life experience. Your honesty and openness is appreciated. It takes great courage to admit one's failure and fault but you did it. I wish you all the best in life. Take care of your health. 🙏
Good story mate, I know and feel your pain about your daughter, keep fighting mate, do what ever it takes to make sure she knows who you are, it will pay off in the long term, she will want to know you when she is older.
Jack Dawson he should leave Pattaya and go to Issan if he wants to be by his daughter
SUBBED. i love your honesty... And I can relate.
Your story is very interesting. I hope you keep updating your progress. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story and being so genuine. I think you are a good guy and I hope you can get the relationship with your daughter back soon.
You’re a natural storyteller. Wow. Thanks for the video.
Happy New year and Thanks for sharing. It's a new year, let's put our mistakes behind us and learn. It will all work out eventually. Remain positive.
Good advice Mike!
Good luck to you.All the best for 2019.
Can we please have another 9-12 month update? Really hope he’s doing much better now
I will do my best to get together with Steve for an update.
I can relate to your story , thanks for posting and the best of luck in the future to you.....👍
Interesting video, thanks for telling your story, best wishes.
Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate the honesty.
Thank you for being so honest. I hope you reconnect with your daughter soon.
Dude, get to the gym. And I am not being a wise ass, I am very serious. The physical and the mental are so intertwined.....you feel good physically, you feel good mentally, eventually you feel good spiritually. Not sure if Buddha said this or not (whoever said it was a very wise MFer) "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell."
Conquer yourself my friend, that is all that matters....everything else beyond that is a walk in the park. Peace brother.
Believe me, I plan to.
State of mind set, different life Big Dan. Live in Pattaya...the city of 24/7 party...do this for years. Girls do not mind if you have beer belly as long as the money does not go dry. Its easy living...he WAS FIT...Steve now choose to chill. If you stay there for 6 mos...your six pack gone or down to a 2 pack LOL. I have condo there with my "up to you-wife" (inside Thailand joke), so if your interested how I know and my experience in Thailand.
Great advice after divorce at 44 I discovered exercise now I'm a keen cyclist and gym frequently, never felt better, remember you can't out run a bad diet.
@@keithsavageone I'd recommend the gym ,not for aesthetics but for endorphin release and feeling good about yourself, plus if you lift weights you'll lose weight and build muscle naturally, but it's most helpful in the 'head' !
@@ubonrat8653 and you can't outrun a fast and risky lifestyle Steve O. Those who seem to be making it work....check on them in 3-7yrs and see that it caught up with them too. You can get away with it for short periods like holiday sometimes and sometimes not, but you can't sustain it.
Hats off to you Steve-O. My eyes have opened to some subtleties you have illustrated and I thank you. I have a one month upcoming first trip, with the ability to make it 2 or 3 months. I plan on going a week into my first month and evaluating. Wish me good fortune, I will do my part I know. To be honest, I have not so much thought about this excursion; I had some sort of friend-passing-away type event to remind me once again that this life is not forever. This event happened about a month ago, an excellent local guitarist and singe. I booked a great flight and a great inexpensive modest lodge, and will be my usual thrifty self, respectful and non-arrogant. Since booking I have seen online videos, including "Do More Life" and appreciate both Jeremy and Steve-O. I am SOOOO much looking forward to the food, nightlife, Muay Thai (spectator only), hiking, ferry, parasailing, and maybe some other cities. WOW!
Watched the first video when u made it,also followed you from when you where in Phillipines
Always watch but don’t comment much,i like you passion when i see the videos ,i was on the fence before but your reeling me in!!
This video was interesting to watch,you don’t get many raw interviews in Thailand from people when things went slightly wrong!!
Cheers
Glad you found value in the content!
Appreciate you opening up! ‘‘Twas in Pattaya and Phuket in November ‘18 - i can emotional understand your decisions and the undesired outcomes. These bad choices are very easy to make. I’m still in LIVE texting with 2 of ladies I’ve met. One is a masseuse and one is a bar girl. And yes, if I stayed longer - I would’ve, most likely, made similar choices. Thank goodness my stay wasn’t any longer than a month. I had an incredible time, met some interesting expats & ... I will be returning! This vid is a great “lessons-learned” to others who might walk into this situation. Being in Pattaya, or Thailand in general, allows you to let your inhibitions down as well is remove all practical common sense - be careful to all whose watching - thanks for being transparent,
Your comment is appreciated.
time heals every thing, all the emotional attachments, lonely feelings and regrets will go away.
Thank you for your deeply honest video. Brave of you to share. I hope life is good for you now.
All the very best mate! I can only imagine the torment you are going through without your daughter, I have a young son to my Thai partner and yes I would believe she may try the same as your ex would too if things turned sour. I wish you all the very best and keep living and trying to do the things you enjoy, don’t give up on your daughter as I know you haven’t 👍
Good luck for the future my friend - you deserve some luck
Thanks for the story. Somewhat sad and very detailed. I learned from it.
Cautionary tale...Thanks for Sharing.
It takes courage to share this personal story, few people tells the truth. Pattaya can really swallow people in his madness.Thanks Steve, thanks Jeremy
Welcome Fabio, and you are correct about Pattaya!
Thanks for Sharing. Living in Indonesia for 18 years I have seen and heard it all. Never give up Steve. I fell the pain buddy. Just believe tomorrow be a better day.
Good words Gary!
Very common story. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully others will avoid the pitfalls that await so many. But alas so many put the brain on a shelf while in the LOS. Hope you can work out the child visitation issue. Best of luck, Dan
Cheer up, mate!.. Live a healthy life, stop the booze, get to the gym, go swim, do something useful. You might find a nice working woman to restart your life. It's not too late, never too late.
Asked a Mamsan once if she would let her son marry a bar girl in Pattaya , she said no chance . I then asked her would she let her Daughter Marry a forang in Pattaya , she said no chance .
If that’s does not tell you something then nothing will
If he's a wealthy farang of course she would 😂
We all should have done something in our life man. Keep your head up man. Stay strong.
Loved to hear this story. I subscribed.
Thanks Ron, and welcome to the channel!
I watched all your video and also the six years one. Your biggest asset is the experience you’ve gained by making mistakes.
Pattaya is not the catalyst here it’s just the enabler. Like the alcoholic who convinces himself he can stop after one drink.
Self belief is what is missing.
Fear of going forward must be overcome if you are ever going to get out of the rut you are in. There is a better brighter and more fulfilling future out there for you which will forever banish the sad sorry and regretful person we see today. Keep pushing dream big and have courage.
Another good run back of your life Steve. Agree 100% - took my girl out of that life also. Been a year...she saves more than me now. :)
Steve O should seriously consider making more vlogs. He has a very unique perspective and he is a great and honest storyteller. I hope he makes a comeback into a healthier and happier next phase. Best of Luck!
He’s doing much better. Thanks for the comment.
I've had a similar experience with a filipina from the province in southern Luzon. The only thing you can do now is to forget them, recover, and move on...
Women don’t love men the way men love women. That’s why it’s so easy for them to move on. That’s why it’s so easy for them to use children as tools for power and control. Good luck with your daughter. Thanks for sharing. Mgtow.
csu111 yes so true mgtow all the way
It is true that women, especially Asian women, do not love the same - however it doesn’t mean they do not love... they just don’t want you to know because that would give you the upper hand.
basically I agree, but from culture to culture there's still big difference between women's behavior towards men
@@celtosaxon My GF loves my thick eyebrows and long eye lashes. I shampoo them every day LOL
Dude, please. it's Thailand, dudes are extremely replaceable
Wow ... what a candid ... and painful story ... he could be me 100% (regarding the "bad choices") ... best of luck to you ... I hope you can re-establish contact with your daughter ... you're a good man, and I imagine you're a very good father, given the opportunity ...
Thank you for the honesty. Must have been painful to say
Steve, I really feel for you. I have lived in SE Asia for 21 years now, but feel like I am your polar opposite - I am very cautious and stick to the straight path. That hasn’t always worked out perfect for me, but I’m content with what I have. You mention trust, and I agree - that is number one. If you really can’t trust someone, you can’t be with them. However, if I were in your situation, I wouldn’t be able to help but to follow and try to make it work, even if for the slightest hope that trust could be rebuilt and relationships with your wife and her family could be made good with time and patience, by showing deep and sincere love and caring toward them. I know the Asian culture well, and a sincere man who makes a real effort can touch a woman’s heart, but all of this is not easy and probably has a very low chance of success. You’d have to really let go of your own wants and desires, and dig deep for massive humility. With all that said, it is also possible that the woman & her mother are beyond hope and it’s just a waste of time. Unfortunately you won’t be able to get a US passport for your daughter without the mother’s consent until she turns 16, unless you can somehow get her to make a sworn affidavit.
Great Video I miss Pattaya :-) 26 January we comes to Pattaya. The American Bully Expo at the Eastern National Indoor Sports Stadium beginning hope see you Guys there. Thanks for the great Video and nice weekend
Same to you!
@@JeremyClodfelter Thank you and nice weekend thanks
This is about self discipline. It's no different than Vegas.
Aceate so difficult to be so honest we've all been there pal to a certain extent you've tried your best good luck mate you deserve it
We all make mistakes ... some bigger ones than others ...
Good luck mate ... Hope everything work out for you at the end ..
You are a great story teller. I watched your video 26 minutes straight.
Thanks for the kind words.
For better or worse you are following your dreams and passions.
No one can guarantee how things will turn out but at least you are trying to live a life by your own rules.
Remember, no matter where we live, drama and challenges are EVERYWHERE.
So smile, and do your best to enjoy this adventure called life.
If I see you in Pattaya on my next visit 1st round is on me.
Cheers. 🍺 🍺
Thanks for the comment Marshall!
Appreciate your heartfelt honesty Steve. I hope you can at least get back on favourable terms with the Ex. Good luck to you. Others watching..be warned.
Good video, thanks for the info.
Thanks.
Thanks for your honest stories. I have seen two previous ones you have done. I was married to a Thai Family for ten years which started off as just me and my Wife in NZ with a sister and cousin living nearby. Once we arranged the marriage a younger sister arrived and then when my wife got Citizenship the Mum and Dad and the other sister with her son arrived. At one stage my wife moved into the spare bedroom so she could sleep with her sister and started working the nightshift so we hardly saw each other. I then started behaving badly with solo trips to Thailand (she had been travelling back as well) until we got divorced. In your situation I would go home to get a decent job and try and see your daughter once a year on trips back if she will let you see her. Good luck.
Very honest story and interesting thanks all the best
Great video mate ☺️ I’m heading out to Pattaya tomorrow ! Flight to Dubai tonight 👊✈️
Awesome Ryan! Safe travels!
For such a serious life changing interview, can you please do it where we can hear without being distracted by all the background?
Yes. I apologize for the sound. The lapel mic malfunctioned. You are hearing sound directly from the on-board mic of the camera. certainly not good. My apologies.
Robmar as you get older you will stop yourself before you state the obvious and not required to be said.
Did you have to get permission to film from the restaurant owner?
So sorry to hear about your daughter but comes a time when you gotta cut your loses and get on with your life. Best of luck.
Sincerity. I like it. Although our stories are very different, I see a lot of me in you. "Stay golden pony boy!"
Hi buddy, congrats for your honesty.. you have completely opened your heart and this is not common. I really hope you will go through these difficult times and be happy again. I really hope your story could be helpfull for all westners that are considering moving to Thailand.. in particular to Pattaya. Over the last 20 yers unfortunately I have listened stories like this hundreds of times. In my humble opinion, the most important takeaways here, as you correctly pointed out, are: (i) falling in love with a bar girl or in general a girl working in the entertainment industry, maybe also 20 years younger than you.... it's a bad bad idea... based on my personal experiences... there's approx. a 90% probability you will be suffering both emotionally and financially; and (ii) Pattaya is the best place in Thailand if you are retired/you have passive income coming from abroad... and you just want to live a crazy holiday lifestyle... but if you need to work and if you want to create a familiy etc... just go elsewhere; as you said, Pattaya is the best envirnment in the world if you want to make bad choices which will destroy your relationship/family
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story very wise balanced advice... I can tell you are a really good person... There are things in life you can't change... B strong b brave... Eat healthy.. Sleep healthy... A fitness routine will reset your body... N... Mind... Take care.... Grow n wellness my friend
He’s a good guy Jason! Thanks for the positivity.
Hi Steve,
Thanks for taking the time to post your story. I feel for you losing touch with your daughter and it may be time to turn your life around a bit...but who am I to say.
Jeremy seems to like the coconut water so you may want to try going on a steady diet of it for a while. At least it may limit the bad choices that you speak of.
All the best,
Kevin
Heart broken story, Thank you
Thanks for the honest video. Sorry for the problem with visitation issue. I would get a lawyer but i am not in your shoes. Don't give up. Your bad choices as you call it shouldn't affect your daughter.
Just watched your six year video and in one year you aged 10 years looks wise.
Take care bro.
Steve, thank you for the brave and vulnerable video. My question: Do you think there's a way to avoid a scenario like the one you fell into? Because it's hard seeing you as in any way a 'bad' guy. To me, you just seem like someone who simply spent too much time in that place. And the inevitable resulted.
Even good guys make bad decisions, especially in the city of excess and sin that Pattaya is. My #1 recommendation would be to holiday in Pattaya, but if you live there be very careful with who you allow yourself to get close to.
Keep going mate keep your chin up don’t let it beat you
I feel for this guy. Lots of guys leave the West because they fall into despondency from the attitudes and bad character from Western women. But that doesn't mean running to the East expecting relationships to work well. Learned a lot from these vids, save from possible heartache when I visit soon.
Thanks for the comment!
I knew the place previously from 1993 to 1996 and I had the opportunity to meet westerners who were in disastrous situations that is why I can only say God bless you Steve.
Heartbreaking!
Nice guy, and great story.
Glad you enjoyed it
Fair Play to Steve
absolutely to the point
a great watch and listen for those perhaps just starting on the Thai rollercoaster
10 outa 10 Brother
keep u chin Up
Big C
I have seen quite a few of these videos from expats in Thailand but this one is the most SINCERE one I have ever seen! Thank you for being so honest. It must have been hard to do so. First of all, no one is perfect. No one. Yes, you have made mistakes but we all do. I know I have. Including falling for a Vietnamese woman working in a bar in Hong Kong. We were together for seven years. She ended up living with me in Manila in my nice condo. But it eventually failed. I did learn a lot during those hard times. Like you have. We live and we learn. Hopefully. Now......concerning your daughter. Yes, it seems like the grandmother is a control freak. She thinks it’s her job to run the show. With little to no respect for you the father. This IS absurd! And selfish. But she does it anyway. So you need to try and communicate with your daughter in any way possible. Just keep trying. What I think is going to happen is this: as your daughter gets older and older she will realize how things played out. How she does have a father that cares. But wasn’t allowed to see him by selfish people. So hopefully she will want to see you. Then you should. Hopefully too the old witch/bitch will have kicked off by then. Out of the way. Which might help a lot. Don’t give up. It might take some time now. You will have to have lots of patience. But it will pay off. You seem like a good person. Yeah, we all go crazy now and then. Make mistakes. But it doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Ok. It doesn’t. Hang in there. I hope you get this message. I hope you will be ok. Do it for her too. Not just yourself. 👍
Sorry to hear of all the problems and I dont nearly have as much experience as you have had so far. I could of just as easily made same mistakes. My thought is just that its time for you now to figure out life and your future and maybe that future is not in Thailand. Start to work on you! body and mind, work towards goals whatever they maybe. Never stop keeping in touch with your daughter as best as you can but also fix your own situation and life so you can be a better father not that you where bad before but you know what I mean. Ultimately you know you and your situation we are all just looking in not knowing every detail, but good luck to you, be positive and follow a positive path, their is a right lady for you in Thailand or somewhere you will find it when on a positive path.
It doesn't make sense to keep touch , even with his daughter.
Love how he showed resilience in wanting to make a relationship with daughter... So many stories of expats bailing on single mom's...
Steve,
Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts, feelings and heartfelt experiences with us. Many of us can relate in many ways. Would like to chat further. How can we contact you?
Feel free to message me on facebook: steve.o.thailand
But keep in mind I have a fairly busy work schedule. I will try to reply when I have the time.
Hang in there. It will work out. In the end audit yourself to make sure u r doing everything u can to help your daughter rather than just accepting the situation. easy for me to say but harder to do. We are all imperfect :)
I feel for you man iam going through a similar story
I believe there is not a single person on Earth who wouldn't use a time machine to go back in time and don't do those mistakes. All the best wishes man, hope you'll find your own "path" !
keep strong hope things turn around for you in the near future Regards
Steve, I have listened carefully your story... I feel bad about the situation with your daughter...hope it will be better soon...
That's my friend in the video, but I appreciate your comment.
Cool story..!
Thank u for sharing. U are a great man. Most people dont understand the caltural differnces are. I think that was your issues with the faimly.
We wish tha best for you bruh. Cut down on drinking & bar girls.
And always be positive. You’ll see your daughter soon.
I’ve moved away from Patts, but miss it for the buzz....Good luck to you ..
Well done mate you've done the job got the medals good lucl
He has come a long way since we recorded this video. Thanks for the nice words!
We all make mistakes and get caught up in situations. Just know that one day your daughter will come looking for you. With that said, why not start working toward being the kind of guy you’d like her to find. I hope that helps...keep your chin up. 👍🏻
Very well said!!!
First, I like to thank you for your efforts to help others by producing such a frank and straight to the point video of your experiences in a foreign country.
Second, as an old man, and one who has made many many mistakes in life and survived (you, yourself appear to be a survivor), I have s question for you, and that is: What is the difference between 10 hours distance by bus, and 10 hours distance by plane for you if you are not to be able to see your daughter anyway?
I don't live in USA, but have traveled to your country of birth USA, and with all honesty I believe that USA is among the best places to live, work, and grow old. If I may suggest, and if you have concluded that you made a mistake, do the right thing and make steps to correct it. You are still young, and have a life to live. Get yourself back to your home country, work, and live in peace.
All the best,
R.
Don't worry, when she will be older she will be looking for you.
Jeez what a story, thanks for sharing. I hope one day you can reconnect with your daughter. Pattaya sounds horrible though. I went there years ago but would never live there. Do you have relatives in the US still? It would be better to live there and have long holidays instead. Anyhoo, good luck...
I like wonderful mistakes in Pattaya. Great advice.