Narcissist people ALWAYS hate good looking and or strong honest sincere people. They will gravitate towards these types and try to take on these good traits for themselves (mirroring) all while attempting to diminish and beat down and hurt and condescend the healthy person. They try to steal and obsorb the good and replace your goodness with pain and chaos. They may win in the short term but in the long term they end up alone and bitter.
I knew someone who could not stand a guy (Steve) at church. Steve was “strong, honest and sincere.” I didn’t understand at the time what he had against Steve. Steve seemed solid. I realize now that maybe Steve saw through him and didn’t give him the time of day and he didn’t like it.
Well said. My thoughts exactly! I have suffered this many times. It is wicked and disgusting! I thank the good Lord that I am coming out of this narcissistic abusive relationship. I'm glad I found videos like these to teach me about narcissism. I never knew it existed!
Going through this right now I am tall maybe good looking it gives the narc the complete shits .They also hate honest and not greedy people .They feed from you with ideas the narcs I know have a pad and pen ready to steal your ideas taste music books movies food that’s all they do steal your identity.
The narc I was with for far too long used my empathy, loyalty, strength, knowledge, and my home. Like a vampire he drained every ounce of what I had for his benefit. By standing on my back he bolstered his image and credibility and silenced me. His promise of better things to come in our retirement was a lie, as was everything about him. He was so skilled at being covert, so under the radar that I didn’t catch on until the last 2 years. Then I was angry with myself for not seeing it. Eventually I took that anger and put it on him where it belonged. I moved him out physically while he was away. I went no contact. It wasn’t easy but now, almost 1 year alone, I feel much better. I still don’t understand how someone can be so manipulative and evil while saying “I love you” every day. So I don’t miss him. But at times I miss what I thought we had. It was all fake.
They are REAL mask wearers. A good way of knowing that someone is a narc is by finding out what they say about you behind your back... Stay narc free my friend ❤
"But that's so judgmental to say!" On the other hand, my lack of discernment at a certain point when I knew better kind of got me into bigger trouble for a second here and there until I finally got out. Anyway, thank you for calling a spade a spade with those types
@@blairjones1086 Yeah. I agree. Really weird. I'm old and what I wish I knew all along is if someone makes you feel bad about yourself, just avoid them.
Some people STILL don't see it or just don't want to see it so you are ahead of the game in keeping them out of your life so at least they will fly off and stick to someone else ( hopefully another narc ) 😂❤❤Stay safe and well.
People don’t understand that these predators go after strong people. When you catch their lies you rip that mask off they will become abusive but also rage and if you grew up in a family that scapegoated you it becomes triggering you freeze, fawn or leave. You can’t fight them it’s like wrestling with a dirty pig you’re get dirty too or you can do is leave. They’re soul draining I truly believe that their spiritually evil.
That's their entire playbook - put you into Stress... Where the things they do to you are Meant to put your body physically into stress- Fight, Flight, or Freeze. Once you really understand, you regain that control. They purposefully dys-regulate your nerves and nervous system. Practice inner peace, however that works for you. ❤
You are so right! It used to be just fight or flight, yet I would freeze.. so I'm so glad there are others. This freeze dynamic triggers too many related issues in different areas of life.
They also try to pull lightworkers into darkness, tempt them into their world and, if they follow them in to the dark, they then accuse and make them feel guilty and condemned.
My abusive husband,for decades harassing me that I am after his money.We sre getting older,with that threatening that I am nobody ,slowly killing me.I don’t sense parts of my body.Does not want to do regular divorce or visit counselor.No solution😅
i recently watched that movie 'The Exorcist', because it has just so many references to narcissism, even one example of the vomit they spew out onto other people and also the prechers stating 'don't talk to the demon, it will just use anything you say against you' along with how the demon transfers over to the priest when he becomes enraged at the end. This is their aim, to transfer their evil energy onto us. Some of these people could really use an exorcism!
For me it was not symbolic. I likely saw whirling black balls in my residences upon my two significant other Narc violent discards. In 2010 my little doggie saw it too. Clear as day
A young woman i worked with named her daughter after the girl from the exorcist (her favourite movie) think it was Reagan...make with that what you like
He's so chaotic and unpredictable that he has become totally predictable in the past week. What a huge breakthrough for ME. He knows I know and he senses that I'm ready to end it permanently. So tonight he showed up drunk with a ring and asked me to marry him. I laughed. 😂🤷🏼♀️ He cried himself to sleep because he loves me 😂 and now I'm stuck with him until morning. He doesn't love anything about me except my brand new car, credit cards and outstanding credit score. He wants me to buy US a house. We've been dating for 6 months 🤦🏼♀️The empathy train has left the station 💪
Please be careful -he is getting desperate. He will keep trying new tactics to keep you. It would be good if he sought out some proff. help with the State he is in but he might not be willing to do so. Best for both of you safety wise 🙏🌸
Thed do become so predictable for sure! My ex asked me to marry him when he knew I was over him. He asked me to marry meanwhile I was already planning my escape😂 pathetic they are
@@Stephanie-xx7jc I ditched him and his fake rings 1 week to the day later! I just sat back and observed him for that week while waiting for payday because he owed me $25. I took him to an ATM to get my money then told him it was over when we got back to house 😂 He only asked if he could have my son's golf clubs that he had been begging me and if he could borrow some cat food! Like wth who does that?! 😂 When you finally see these clowns for who they really are you have no problem laughing it off. He texted me a week later and berated me with vile insults. My response.... more laughter 😂
@@Consiouschoices I ditched him 1 week to the day later. I could care less about his safety. Maybe he'll get run over by a car while walking because he can no longer use me for mine. The brand new lease vehicle that he punched a dent in, punched the dashboard, threw handfuls of dirt in and choked me in while I was driving him and his friend somewhere. Luckily he's leaving me alone. Just pray that his new supply is adequate until he ends up in prison.
Detachment!!!! My ex enjoyed gossiping about other people, and in the beginning I used to give my opinion which is usually opposite of his and he would blow up in my face which would cause me to react. As soon as I start to react he would get quiet and record my reaction. Eventually I learned how to detach. And irritated him. He would go on and on and I would watch him and smile. I would nod to show engagement but the look on my face is screaming “you are so full of shit” 😂😂
i just keep having flash backs and realize this was a empty realtionship! This man was always used avoidance and has only come out to throw us bread crumbs
I serendipitously discovered another potent strategy yesterday in conversation with a neighbor. Suddenly it became clear to me that I was dealing with a bona fide N. All at once she turned on me and began projecting things on me that were subtly vile and clearly untrue. So I said, "That offends me." What a shock to her, my abruptness and lack of expected politeness. (N's depend on people being nice.) She almost lost her stuff right then and there sort of wheezing and gasping for air. I had claimed the victim position in the victim/perp/rescuer drama triangle and you know, N’s believe it’s theirs and theirs alone. It’s where they get lots of power. She sparred with me to wrestle it back with all her might but I just held it. In the end, I could not end the conversation with dignity, she would not release me, and so… as I pressed the red end call button I could still hear her raging in the background. I give myself a high mark for everything, however, I must admit that it's taken me a few hours to clear out the trauma energy.
You can never destroy a narcissist. Their demon watches out for them and this familiar spirit taunts you. You will need an act of God to achieve this. Having said that the only way is to cut off the so called soul bond that is within you and forbid the demon from coming into your space.
When his mask dropped and I saw "IT" and seconds later his outside body covered it back up - I saw by the look on his face - he knew I saw IT. He knew.. How can he live like that knowing that thing is in him ? SCARY !
@@James-mc5hc i think in the end they burn their bridges and as Paula had said in her one talk last taste of what was good in their life will be their worse self trying dedperstely to use every ounce of tricks till they have none left.
Always good to go for a drive with them....see if they drive close to vehicle in front. If they get road rage etc., often anything Narc will very quickly come out in the car.
Ex husband presents enjoy driving while drunk he says he drives better drinking he's a horrible entity. Driving drunk is insanity he may one day when evil ready for his soul car accidents behind his drunkenness.68 year old child.
Mine was opposite....a cautious driver. But did most of everything else....triangulation... fucking around.....projection.....Gaslighting...silent treatment....and worse stuff.
Always dress better than them. They feel bad. Be with them just enough so they can't hurt you. Let them contact you. Don't go out of your way for them unless they deserve it.
Its very true about dark forces and spirituality. In dark times I turned to my church and spoke to the minister privately as I was struggling to understand why this abuse had happened to me. He simply said this is the path you chose and these dark people are put here to teach you, it's how your spirit learns and progresses. Some may find that unbelievable but I also believe it to be true.
Narcs are the devils soldiers. Through a romantic but unfortunate affair with a narc I come closer to our creator. I read the Bible quit often. Never did before. Good luck.
Yes, I'm finally, after much suffering, now realizing that the narc's purpose is to be the "devil", the "adversary" who is there to give us the opportunity to not react in kind to their hatred, to "turn the other cheek...resist not evil...bless those that curse you..." -- to learn to love our enemies just as Jesus taught, even in the face of impending destruction. There is much power in disciplining our emotions, which allows us to develop courage to become who we truly were created to be. I found that my experience with the narc helped me to see that the enormous "beam in their eye" was showing me the splinters in my own eye that needed to be removed. Narcs are bullies who seek out weaknesses in others so they can project and dump everything they don't want to take responsibility for onto the "victim". Don't play the victim and they'll go away to find another.
Hi. May l recommend you watch Batel Skater's "When darkness can't hide from the light." You will understand how this evil orientation to life strengthens us to master the darker times ahead. They despise us, because they are jealous of us being in the light. Even strangers. Good luck.
@@rolandoscar1696 -- I agree! Her insight helped me to see how I had accepted the evil projected onto me and believed that I was the evil one, or that I somehow deserved it. I discovered that deep down I had taken on the narc's self-hatred as my own, surreptitiously abusing myself by allowing others to abuse me. Watching Batel has helped me to see the evil for what it is. I swear, narcissists are truly the "devil's minions" -- they all use the same playbook, thereby exposing themselves for what they are behind the mask of "Mr Nice Guy".
@@GnosticGuru Same. l was exposed to my dad's abuse from the age of 6. Wife- beatings, blackmail, and constantly being told how useless we all were. We didn't even need to do anything wrong, but he'd find some excuse to destroy our happiness. He would argue one thing one day, and then the opposite the next, just to win the argument. I was so confused, l didn't know what to think anymore. As an adult, I avoided him by moving far away, and only visited my family on short holidays. Four years ago, he had a life- changing medical condition. My sister summoned me to help. l dropped everything, and drove up to see him. His doctor was prescribing wierd medication, and he was telling me delirious shit. I got him out of that hospital, put him in the shower to clean the poo off him that accumulated in his shorts, got him to another hospital, and two weeks later brought him home and helped him back onto his feet. A year later I visited him from London, where l worked as a team leader for a garden service company, when lockdown happened. I spent every day working in his garden, and he said many times, "Do anything you want in my garden", and best of all, we had become friends. I was as happy as a pig in Palestine. Then one day he yelled blue murder, saying l was spending too much time in his garden, "doing anything you want" and l should be sitting in front of a computer rather, learning stuff, "like me!' l was 57 years old, and still he tried to control me. He knows how much l hate computers, and don't even know how to switch one on. Never mind him always saying, "Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy." He never changed. Then came the usual derogatory insults, then the lies. The mask slipped for the very last time then. I haven't seen him for two years, and I will never trust him again. Ever. Funny how he always bragged how when entering a place that required signing in, he would begrudgingly write "Diablo." The irony.
You have to have a awesome strategy with these people. Remember you are the light. And it’s a spiritual war fare. And we’ve already won. There will be no weapon formed against us that will prosper. Come out from among them.
*Narcissistic* *Strong-holds:* 3:34 4:06 *Power* (let them know that you know who they are) 5:58 *Control* (be non-emotional so that the narcissist cannot project onto you) 8:00 *Fuel* (expose the narcissist in front of other people) 9:50 (ignore the narcissist and go no-contact) 12:34 (make an unfavorable comparison with the narcissistic ego image) 15:38 (become non-triggerable and avoid entering the chaotic world of the narcissist) 17:08 (the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth) 19:32 (come to the point of indifference about the narcissist) 23:33 (reject/discard the narcissist before they do it to you - and do not accept the hoover attempts that come from them afterward) 25:39 (be genuinely happy about your life afterward)
I did some of this without realizing it. It is not easy, but it’s worth it. It’s sad (for them) that these people can’t even be your friend. They will ruin that too.
@@tanyatanya891 I didn't have a easy life it was a lot of hard work, but can honestly say this was the most mentally exhausting experience I ever encountered, yes they see objects not human emotions!
@@tanyatanya891 You will look back at it and laugh at how unaware you were that such a person existed, but now they have proof with technology that psychopathy is not that rare.
These are so good. An extra for me is simply (narcissist aside) get on with your life, grow, expand yourself, move on, live your BEST life and don't allow them to even enjoy five minutes of this best life with you! It'll kill them to see how strong and HAPPY you can be without them. Do it for yourself...not them. Also fake it until you make it lol 🥰
Yes I used to feel I was in competition with my father. I lent him a trolley to move some of his stuff, and he did not take care of it and damaged it. Then he bought one for himself and was showing it to as being better than mine. It stays in my memory after 20 years because it seemed at the time such odd behaviour. Two years ago I discovered he was a narcissist. Now all adds up. Narcissists all seem tarred with the same brush and are always predictable.
Great video Paula! Don't give in brothers and sisters! Dig deep, bite the bullet, heal and then move forward and conquer! 🗡️🔥 I too believe this is rooted in the spiritual, the devil comes to steal kill and destroy and he was the original narcissist remember. If you don't believe in the spiritual realm you pretty soon will understand what evil personified looks like. It looks like the person that did and said those things to you...... deliberately. Let that sink in. Yes I never dreamt that there could be such vindictive people as my wife, she nearly killed me with a number of covert manoeuvres. If I can overcome this after a 33 year experience of psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical abuse then so can you. Blessings 🙌
Thank you, this experience is drawing me closer to god.. I hate that horrible dark enegy I feel when thinking about the narcissist..I look back and can really see more clearly the farther I get in my healing..
Thank you for this video!! One of the things that these monsters do is procreate with you so that you MUST interact with them. If you are one of those people, like I am, maximize the concept of minimal contact. 1.set firm boundaries and keep them. 2. Communicate solely in writing. 3. No spoken word during parental exchange. 4. When in their presence where a mask, sunglasses and a hat so that you give ZERO fuel. 5. Don’t bother to get out of the car during the custody exchange. 6. Set one location for ALL custody’s exchanges. 7. Your home is sacred. They should not be allowed there. PERIOD. If they show up, CALL THE POLICE! 8. Do *not* make the location of the custody exchange your home. Use a neutral location WITH CAMERAS or a police station. God bless you and God bless us all because these demons are plentiful on the earth right now.
@Kimm Jenn if only it were that simple. In many cases our kids Choose the abuser and there isn’t anything we can do. Courts don’t care. No one cares. Sadly.
Yes, they are here. One thing I would like to add , they come out with movies about themselves. And they have lots of support. But we have the word of God to fight off the scheme of the devil.
@Kimm Jenn I agree. But unfortunately the courts perpetuate the abuse in So many ways! They FORCE us to leave our children with these demons. Unless I want to lose custody all together- I have to follow the evil court orders.
They hate being called “losers.” They know they’re perverted and corrupt but the fact that they are on the track to self-destruction and will never have a good life but will destroy everything they touch really rocks them.
Yes it’s a spiritual battle friends. Jesus came face to face with Satan and defeated him with scripture. We can and should do the same - not to the narc’s face but speaking it out loud. Remember that our conflict is not with flesh and blood but the spiritual wickedness behind these people. “Greater is He that is in me (Jesus) than he that is in the world” 1 John 4:4 ⚡️✝️🔥 Thanks Paula! ❤️
There’s no way I could ever be glad about what happened to me …she tried to kill me in every way possible.. 1 year out and still struggling to put a roof over my head… Good work once again Paula … exactly this a war to stop you from doing Gods purpose that was predestined for your life
Haha so true. I am (or was) the type of person who hands out compliments super freely and any time I would say anything positive about anyone around him (even just public figures that neither one of knew or never would know) I visibly saw him flinch even though he would try to hide it. Just insanely jealous of everyone and everything. A jealous person is someone you want to stay away from. If for no other reason, because they will never be able to be happy for you.
The minute you said spiritual warfare. I have a thumbs Up . Keep prayed up , seriously. No Joke . This is REAL. These are Demons. Do not interact with this Helloween . Because these Demons (narcissist) are behind these spells . Pray on this night . Seriously
Your going through all of this mentally while they don’t even care, they feel nothing for you. no contact is the only way to be free and have your life back, at first it seems mean and not possible but once your free of anxiety and worry of them controlling you, your life is yours again. They won’t change they will terrorize your life forever don’t walk, run away
By far the biggest and best action to take is to move on and find someone else and make sure they know that they have been replaced. No direct contact and allow the truth to come out naturally but replace them and be happy and make sure they know it.
Narc Con. 🙏🏼 thank you for these videos. Having mostly(?) recovered from this abuse, I'm feeling healthier these days. BUT, today I was triggered and fell into the rabbit hole of grief, feeling the loss of life never having set well enough boundaries with my narc people. At 60 years old I'm feeling sad at looking back. I did try to hold it together with these people, ie my deceased mother and husband. Now learning to set boundaries with my grown children. Sometimes I feel so lost, like what have I done😢. I'm just having a moment. But damn it hurts. They broke my heart. So much wasted time. I'm ok being alone, but I do get lonely. Kinda scared of what is out there. Someday I can trust again. These videos help with recovery ❤️🩹
I'm almost 70 I feel like I wasted my life on three bad husbands the anger they transferred onto me and it's ruined a lot of my relationships after that I seriously thought that I was supposed to be a good wife a faithful wife these were just the opposite bad husbands not fateful not generous all kinds of put Downs and I thought I had to stay married for religious reasons to these creeps I don't think you ever get over it when you waste this much of your life on this and I am alone
Pleasing God by staying with these miserable men God had nothing to do with it as a matter of fact he said he hates it on love married woman I was not loved I was controlled manipulated there was no love in these marriages God did not tell me or make me to stay in these marriages that was a made-up garbage to control a woman. Mean son of a b******
Thank you as always Paula. I’ve stayed private on my social media and finally gone no contact for real for two weeks and starting to feel so much better xx
Brilliant video, Paula. Your understanding of the psychology of the narcissist and your ability to crystalize it into words is phenomenal. Thank you for the light you bring to this community of survivors. ❤
Great video! I have also found that telling the narcissist to their face when they start to try their predatory manipulative behavior that you love them and forgive them but will not partake in their behavior anymore and walk away or end the communication right then that it enrages the narcissist and causes them to completely remove the mask in that moment exposing their true narcissist self.
Dear Paula, very good points!!! Writing them down in here so that people can read them. Many regards to NY and hoping you are enjoying your time with your son🤗 Motivation/Drivers of a Covert Narcissist 1. POWER 2. CONTROL 3. FUEL How can you shut a Narcissist down? You can do it by these strategies: 1. Show the Narc that you know who he/she is - you are looking behind the mask. 2. Do not be emotionally because emotions are the Narcs fuel for they can project all their negative emotions onto you. 3. Exposing a Narc infront of other people will shut down all of their "airports" at once. 4. Ignore the Narc totally by "No Contact" 5. Compare something to the Narc that is of more value. (The Narc is always in a competition and this would mean that his ego would be going mad and he would go into the bait.) 6. Do not fight back/ Do not let you go triggered by the Narc 7. The truth and nothing but the truth, because the truth will always come out. (The existence of a Narc is built up by lies for his mask is nothing but a lie) 8. Be totally indifferent to the Narc 9. Reject the Narc 10. Be genuinly happy in your life, Live your life by your fullest potential!!! Get out of the dark spirit of the Narc and step into the light (love, peace, truth and freedom). 💖 For you are the light 💖
Thank you, well done the list. * Who revived in the narcissist his dark inner spirit that commands and haunts even him? * The narcissists have big black eyes, magnetic and dangerous, hypnotic gaze, wide opened. As the soldiers, the veterans from the I. and II. world war or the war in Vietnam: Shell shock and war neuroses (from wiki) * Before the term post-traumatic stress disorder was established, people that exhibited symptoms were said to have shell shock or war neuroses. This terminology came about in WWI when a commonality among combat soldiers was identified during psychiatric evaluations.These soldiers all appeared to be in a catatonic state following battle, or "shocked by shells", hence the term shell shocked. What does it mean, at all? There is too much violence in this world, arrogance in families and the lack of respect in the whole society, mostly, so we must bring the light, peace and love in our hearts.
Indifference is a wonderful place to be. Peace is possible when you are detached from the narc. You can become invincible to the narc. Develop a force field of indifference.
When a narcissist ages, losing their beauty, health and sometimes wealth, they are left with nothing except bitterness and rage. It is a dismal prison they can not escape - it is literally Hell on Earth for them.
Expose them. Be loud. Be consistent. And tell everyone they know. Keep doing it. Be relentless. Block them don’t give them access to you. Always expose them all you have to do is tell the truth.
Excellent instruction. Best I have seen. I have experienced the full range:men and women. I believe I have now encountered the last one and the last type: the cerebral narcissist. In depression, I was referred to a Psychoanalyst with a PhD in Psychological Medicine. He was extremely bright. I annoyed him because I had post grad qualifications and would sometimes disagree with him. He decided to take me down and I was vulnerable. I knew there was something wrong with him but new nothing of narcissism. I started watching videos on You Tube on the subject day and night. Most videos refer to the narcissism of partners so it made it more difficult but finally a professor explained cerebral narcissism and I knew that this was the Psychoanalyst. I severed contact. This man had said I had a persecution complex,had paranoia and was Borderline. In fact I had CPTSD. In your videos you must discuss therapists who are narcissists. Many are and are very dangerous. Your method of instruction and calm put you in a good position to have a wide audience.
One of the most narcissistic people I've ever met my life is my mom who is 81 years old that I've lived decades away from by 2300 miles. Anyway, she loved to use the word "persecution complex" when I was in my twenties a few decades ago about various people. Fast forward to me being near 49-yrs old (which is right now)--when the smear campaign occurred from my older sister with my younger and older brother joining in either separately or together--that's when I realized exactly why she judged people as having a so-called "persecution complex." My poor dad still gets berated by him for not taking the correct driving lane. OR USED TO around me! They visited my town a few years ago, One time when she tried to pull that, I said, "I'm not going to tolerate hearing some annoying side seat wannabe driving instructor. I've also occasionally had to tell this to men's women who are getting too disrespectful to them in front of my face too." She tried it one time the last time she was around and I just had to say "hey" and she shut up. Anyhow, weather narcs say the term "persecution complex" or insinuate it in any way, shape, or form--what that's code for basically is that: "I am ANGRY that you're not going to let me dominate you the way I'm sneakily trying to anymore!" Well, good... I'm shutting down those narcs like an awesome Super Bowl bound NFL defense. Part of that requires me to be non-reactive or to ignore certain things.. pretend like it went right over my head here and there... But if they keep at it sporadically--FUCK the often advised grey-rocking, I'm calling it out! Now it's not going to be in a loud way if I'm doing it right... But I'll fairly are firmly disagree or see something flat-out sarcastic like the more than deserve to hear. PSPS--NO CONTACT is the best way to go a lot of times with these types. As the end of the movie WarGames says via the computer in the government nuclear war room, "The ONLY winning move is to not play the game! How about a nice game of chess or checkers instead?"
Thank you. Your videos have helped me immensely. I was a discard but that is because I kept speaking up about his conduct with women and how he was hurting me. His deceptions, his using me financially and sexually. My boundaries got too high and he could never be accountable. It was easier to toss me out that look at himself. He was grandios, emotionally stunted and a gaslighter. I bent and twisted my self to get him to see him. Love me. He can’t. I cried for a month, studied these videos and sought to understand him. It wasn’t me. I tried to change him… that is on me. I pray for the next woman or many women. But me…my life is so much better without him. God is blessing me in ways that would never have happened if I stayed. And I would have if he didn’t release me. You are an Angel. Thank you!!
Paula, thank you again for putting this content out there for the awakening of the truth in those who have ears to hear. I've been transformed in this year, having come to know the truth of the relationships I've been engaged in with the "people" I've loved. I'm now so much more healed. I AM happy to be where I am now, having gone to hell and back, and now knowing where my true value lies. The other thing you can do to disempower the narcissist is to live your best life by giving yourself all the love and self care that you once poured at their feet.
It's so amazing that sadly almost everything you describe here I've experienced by my own biological mother. She didn't actually raise me but strongly created the illusion to people that somehow she actually did. As uncomfortable as it was, because of my love for her, I refrained from challenging her about her fake motherhood. I secretly resented her for it. But I loved my other siblings whom she did raise so I mostly kept quiet. There are many other fake truths. Too many to list here. One day she took me to the ultimate limit. And just like the Emporeor's fake New Clothes, I had no choice but to admit that in fact, she wasn't even wearing any clothes. There she was standing naked right there in front of me, naked. I could see every molecule of who she really was. I decided that from all I knew she had no true conscious and it was all I could do not to despise her. But I was determined that she would not send my soul to Hell by hating the women who had birthed me into this world. In spite of her, I was still a child of a Living God. After a lot of praying and crying, God led me to the understanding that I was actually dealing with a real live narcissist for a mother. The light bulb suddenly went off in my mind and there was the explanation I'd been searching for since she'd come back into my life! No wonder I'd been so confused! These people are strange enough to confuse anybody! There started the beginning of my research. Your videos among others have helped me understand so much and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will thank the others too. She is primarily overt but she will also switch into a covert mode depending on the situation. I've educated myself thoroughly and I'm now truly convinced that this personality is led by a very dark spirit. Based on many of her behaviors, possibly even demonicly influenced. I want to tell your audience that your strategies here can really work if they are victims. They just have to determine the ones that work best for them. For me, I can use practically all of them. I now live about 30 miles from her where as 4 years ago I lived 5 hrs from her. Living closer, having more contact, and being more mature than in my younger years revealed EVEN MORE dysfunction about her than I even realized after the 37 years of living away. Moving closer was what I thought would be an even closer relationship instead turned out to be painfully revealing and disappointing. Eventually traumatizing. God had always wanted me to see the truths but I convinced myself to overlook them. Eventually I felt obligated to overlook them. Now, I have confronted my own truth AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH about her. I've created my own separate life and my own circle of friends. I no longer want to fit in with her everyday life. I've joined my own church and my life is abundant and beautiful. I feel the chains are broken. I'm free. Though I keep a safe distance from her I try to be there when she is medically ill or needs something special. Otherwise I visit her from time to time in short sessions. Unless there's a family event, about 2 hours does it. It works perfectly. Initially, it was really difficult to overcome the guilt of avoiding her and the ridicule from her flying monkies & friends. She's physically beautiful and outgoing. A fabulous cook.. Therefore, many people easily flock to her. But God kept me on a straight path and kept telling me that I was to obey His will; not hers. Now I'm at peace with everything. Once I started transitioning, it took about 1 year to reach my inner peace. But admittedly it wasn't easy. I look so much like her. People constantly remind me. Thankfully I like her genes she passed on to me. 🤣 But my heart in no way resembles hers. To break free, I just had to keep remembering how I've experienced more superficial love and jealously from her over the years than I care to think about. The parents who raised me taught me real love and unselfish devotion. I know how that kind of love feels. Thats what I was able to give my own son. I'm so thankful. Now that I know who and what she is I know that if there has to be a winner, I'm the real winner. God finally saved me from her dysfunction. I was just another pawn in her scheming egotistical mind. Knowing how she operates also means being constantly ready to respond strategically to any of her big bag of tricks. Ones that I was totally blinded to before. Even in the most peaceful moments they can catch you off guard if you're not vigilant. They're not always directed at me but many times I'm the only one in the room who actually sees them. I just watch and listen and when I've had my fill I simply just leave. Just get out. Now, I'm no longer as resentful for her deceptive nature. Sadly it's just who she is. I don't dwell on and on about her anymore. And I don't feel sorry for her. I simply let God handle her however He sees fit. And yes I can enjoy her company to a degree but because she can no longer control me it's all superficial. And that's OK. I don't expect anything else. That's just how it is. 've forgiven her but I never intend to forget all the terrible things I've learned. Some are not involving me but still shockingly revealing. I do not compete with her but I will graciously, promptly and sternly call her out when she tries to create the illusion that she still has power over me. She knows now that I know her darkness is there. She knows she no longer has no power over me. She's afraid of the light and truth that I bring. She knows that our relationship can never be restored to what it once was because it was never real in the first place. So that is my ultimate power over her. Becaue she realizes my power, it secretly embarrasses her. So she plays victim to her friends and flying monkies. Many of whom I also love and grew up with. Oh well... It amuses me to watch her trying to figure out my motives. How sad that she can never understand that my only motive is to remain at peace with myself and stay out of her chaotic manipulative web of lies and protect my spirit from the very person that birthed me into this world. Again, I just want to tell you thanks and tell your viewers here to learn what you are trying to teach them because this information comes from a higher power. For them to keep praying for guidance, strength and protection. Reasearch narcissism to better understand the spiritual forces that motivate these manipulative individuals. They fiercely compete and hide from their own true identities. Until I gained this knowledge, I was confused & blind. Gaining this knowledge is truly like coming out of the darkness into the light. And just like you said here...The light will always win. Thank you. Sincerely, Deborah
Hi, I hear what you’re saying. Will you please take a serious piece of advice? Stop looking after your mother when she is medically ill, or visiting her for any other reason. You are being conned. You are always being conned. There are no neutral interactions with a narcissist. Meanwhile, if she is being demonically influenced, then how can you possibly stand to be in the same room as her, knowing that the demon is targeting others, and targeting you? Please don’t tempt fate. Having a protective perimeter around you is a gift from God, and it isn’t to be treated haphazardly, but with honour - if you can separate, then separate. There is an unhealed and hardened piece of yourself, which must soften and heal. You have got to get out 100%. You aren’t in control if you are in its presence, and it’s only a matter of time before you lose your soul. Do not look after your mother. Move on. Even if it feels like death, it’s life. Cutting off my mother brought on adult onset asthma for me, and a partially collapsed lung, from the emotional distress, from which I still suffer, 6 years later. But there is life. Real life and full life. And it’s all for God. I wish you well. God bless you.
I see that someone has the audacity to tell you that you're not doing it right and that they know better than you do what you need to do. Stay strong in doing things your way. ❤
From Detroit ... Before I ever started watching videos about narcissism, I had somehow developed the strategy of being flat with Bill, just emotionless. He called it, "business mode." He hated when I was in "business mode." He said, I'd rather you be angry with me, yell at me." So, just on my own, I figured out the way to get to him was a flat demeanor. But I was still very confused about what was happening.. Bill was an alcoholic, and I was at my wits end, trying to understand all the drama -- and the lying. So I was googling around and looked up something like, "constant lying" and that's where I ran into TH-cam videos on the topic; and THAT's when I started to climb up out of the pit that is life with a narcissist. It's been a very long process. I have ADHD so I'm especially sensitive and was really traumatized,
Excellent video Paula! I finally sold my home on family land just so I could get away from my soon to be ex narcissistic husband. I am closing from the sale of my house on Tuesday which is my birthday and what a gift, freedom after 20 years! As we are ending it here it has been a hard game to play to get this far. One of the ways I have been able to get the narcissist to understand why we are getting divorced and keep him on the same Pages me, is by comparing some of the things I've gone through by some of the TV moms on the older sitcoms. And as we're watching TV and packing up the things I would remind him who he's been. I have been doing this for a while now and it seems to really have helped me get out of this torturous Evil dark game. I would say look at Carolyn Ingles from Little House on the Prairie would have Charles started calling her names or physically abusing her etc etc etc, he actually looked ashamed and hated hearing it. All he could say was okay okay I get it I get it he did not want to be reminded of who he actually is! If I can get out of this marriage this is a huge reminder to everyone reading this you can do it. I started reading about narcissistic people and abuse three or four years ago. I thought maybe I was making an excuse because covid hit, and I thank God above that I wasn't making excuses with myself I am finally here! I pray for anyone reading this that they find a way out whether they have to go and live in an apartment or something smaller even if you have to give up material items it's just not worth it, and I pray that you will find your freedom in Jesus Sweet and holy name!
I trimmed my tree last Christmas and then I did one for him. He said his was the prettiest tree he ever saw. My granddaughter asked him "What about ours?" He laughed and walked out of the room.
That non-emotional stuff really does get them, they have no where to go. I particularly find it useful when they aggressively spit out how they don't like something that you've just said you liked. I simply say, well, we don't have to like and dislike all the same things. Very logical, very true and very unemotional. Again, they've no place to go after that, it stuns them.
Setting ANY boundary at all makes them crazy. I told my boyfriend of 8 years ( he used my home like he owned it ) to please let me know when he is going to use the bathroom. He would disappear for 20 minutes in there when I had just told him I was putting dinner on the table ( we didn’t live together). He was furious and kept mumbling under his breath “I can’t believe she said that”. The relationship ended 2 months laster because he punished me again and again with horrible behavior for saying that and he disappeared in a rage and I was COMPLETELY DONE after that. He always Hoovers but he will get no response. I finally get who and what he is. No more sympathy for his childhood abuse, I am done.
Hi ! Great to be here. Leaving the narcissist after 20 years, 10 living with. Took years for me to realize what was happening and to heal! I am an Empath who has freed herself from him!
Thank you. I am working on my art. I am still realizing what one of the narcs did and am beginning to ascertain and suspect the the lengths this person has gone to in order to sabotage my life. It's taken me quite awhile to get more self worth and boundaries. But you are so right, they are totally devious and evil. Phew. I am definitely listening to this video several more times❣️🙏🙏😇
This is blowing my mind because my adult child has lately used a lot of these on me. A few yrs ago she started a war insisting it’s to heal the psychological “wounds” I caused which “ruined her whole life”( although she says she had a happy childhood and she seems to be living the dream!). We had been very close and this is all new to me. She has used the look, the no emotions, the no contact, the exposing my faults to others,, “her truth”, indifference, rejection, and bragging about her happiness. She must be watching videos like these. !!!
Paula you are tha best at explaining how to defeat these narcissistic people..I'm happy an still on my healthy healing journey...he hooved me just yesterday about his do dying..I put up a sad face an kept on about my day ..this is how you be so undifferentiated with them...he took me through so much verbal abuse physical abuse emotional abuse. That I had no words for him...I'm so happy now..AN nothing will come between THAT !!!!! TY PAULA ❤️ 😍
Love the little light in total darkness analogy. How empowering it is. The last narc I was entangled with was aware of and expounded on his darkness. I was starting a process of inner work to balance or integrate my dark and light (kind of like shadow work). I started talking about the light and love and it creeped him out so bad he stopped emphasizing his dark traits. I basically told him how my self reflection showed me my negative aspects and how they affected people in my life and how some people had amends owed from me to them. Not just apologizing but amending situations. He looked terrified and even emptier then usual in his eyes. The prospect of things I disclosed during the process I was doing he had never heard of. I seriously felt his soul was shackled or deprived of God's love...the things I do to heal from my own demons threatened him. Praying, meditating, loving both fiercely and gently, totally foreign to him. I know I have a long way to go to escape my own prisons. Walking away from him is one of the hardest things. I know my attachment is sick and can be fatal to me both body and spirit. God grant us all strength and Grace to recover.
The strength is in US within OURSELVES first and foremost from a spiritual place of any kind… my spirituality comes from validation of myself & energies of our living Mother Earth…❤
My narcissist is now contacting my clients and my realtor . I am taking legal action . He’s lost his marbles . Sadly I am afraid for my life ! And that of my family ,as he has said in the past “ How would you like your whole family wiped out well their villa in the Spanish Virgin Islands! Yes I have reported it to the police .
Please be careful, and stay 100 steps ahead of the enemy at all times.. Don't just rely on the "system." Narcissists are on a power & control trip which is exactly why they are in career settings that allow them to have power and control of us. Narcissists become police officers, lawyers, judges, etc. I'm just saying... Stay Awake & Alert
Have hard evidence, but if you lawyer up there are a few, very few lawyers that know about this disorder to weave into the court of law.....i deal with it myself. Im walking with very little money from my home, just to get out. I was slandered and smeared in this town a LONG time before i knew. The police make it like im insane. When they know the truth!!
Your channel is amazing. I survived to narcissistic abuse relationships, and I was able to heal and I’m happier and more peaceful than I’ve ever ever been in my life.
5:00 "So you can even say to their face, 'Look, I know who you are! So there is no point in continuing this charade." (Looking "disenchanted" and "unemotional" as she says at the 4:20 or so mark). If I ever run into them again, I am SO literally stealing this line (because I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Well, I just found out YESTERDAY that my ex narcissist has been trying to smear me. He's still doing his best to "try" and destroy me. He can't, though, and he really needs to move on now, I am way stronger than he could ever imagine. Omg, actually, u hit the nail on the head. He is so boring, with no adventure, only destruction and taking.
Yes, you learn their Narccraft and then you learn Empathcraft. But first you must healthily removing yourself in no contact, then accept and know yourself. Great video again. Thanks Paula.
I really do still struggle with letting go of this monster and I don’t know why. She has treated me and my kids like trash and tried to destroy us. I get that im in a trauma bond but it’s just hard to let go of the fake person they’ve presented for so many years
So happy in my own skin now…seeing her for what she is…helps me to cope so well with being in her company and not letting her suck me in with any of the rubbish she talks about which now seems so pathetic…thank you for your wisdom Paula…Getting so much stronger..God Bless…🤗
This lady speaks the TRUTH! I've had an incredibly impossible year but a year of expedited growth while I put hard distance between me and 3 narcissists in my life. Do not give them ANY of your emotions even if they're starting a fight. Pay them dust, nothing. They have no RIGHT to disturb your peace. State the truth firmly when they come with lies/distortions. Tell them if you want to fight, you'll fight yourself," and walk off, every time. It's like training a dog, you'll see them with a look of shock on their faces. I practiced keeping my boundaries strong, my narcs look like pathetic children now, that have been mimicking adults. Keep your boundaries strong, REFUSE all fights by walking off, and give them ZERO emotions. I am finally at peace, they WILL self destruct.
You are so correct with all you have said. I went no contact with my father a year and a half ago after my mother's funeral. I have endured years of trying to please him,only to be criticized. I am a successful physician and have felt as if " it is never going to be good enough ". I began learning about narcissistic abuse and am in recovery. Your podcasts are excellent and I am sharing them with my only sibling who will speak to me now. Thank you for helping us believe in and live in the light!
Living in Truth is the only way to truly be alive even if it gets you killed Just like Jesus was crucified by all the jealous lies and still Lives The True King of Life Forever
This is so so true when I finally after years and years of him gaslighting me and my loving him back stood up to him and spoke truth! He still got flustered rude and defiant blaming me so I stepped away realizing he would rather live in delusional way than care about what hurts and offends me ! So now I pursue my purpose in the light and he lives in a sullen dark world and said he’s shutting the world out ! Btw in the beginning of the relationship I was shocked how he’s cut off his children over a small argument or sisters and brothers and not speak with them for years ! Hed rather be right and hateful than work things out ! Then it turned against me ! Please everyone look for these warning signs and know it will turn on you eventually the anger and entitlement and cold cruelty is all underneath the surface !
Spot on! Going no contact and being busy or concentrated with your own interests and talents will seperate you from the narcissist. It works for me almost two years.
When I was finally discarded, my ex narc, I believe, had intended to hang around in our house we had together possibly to be able to enjoy watching me in pain and also continue with their "interest" with their new supply and if things failed they could always suck me back in. However, the extremety of the shock wave of the discard caused my brain to go into this rabbit hole of questions! I describe my discard as a "light switch" as it seemed so quick the change in them. It left me reeling in total discombobulation. They can get so cocky sometimes that they underestimate you and I found her out texting the new supply which I confronted her with and said I know what you've been up to. Well.....thats when the barrage of triangulation, accusations, threats really began. Her need to keep this innocent "front" had been shattered!!! She ran off to her mums house and I think I totally messed up her plans to stick around. I know this was meant to happen so that I would have the space to confront myself without having them in my face. I started down an incredible journey of self discovery. An awakening unravelled. I know I was truly guided down a path that had been waiting all my life. I found I wasn't seeking closure from them I was guided to my own closure. It can be the most incredible experience when you're ready!! Being caught out drives them into a frenzy!!🤣I told my ex that I was so grateful to them for what happened (that blows their mind!!!🤣🤣)and no, I wouldnt change a thing, even the things I could say I am deeply ashamed of but so much makes sense now💚
I had a narcissistic partner slander my kids and it felt so driven by competition. He made it out to be that I was a bad mother. My kids were already well adjusted adults, but I was actually questioning my parenting thinking maybe he was seeing something I wasn’t seeing. It felt so insane. Always on eggshells and you’re so right… even competitive towards me. Very child like.
PAULA YOU ARE A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING!!!!!!! I CAN SAY I AM SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH, ITS NOT COMPLETELY OVER BUT IT IS WITH THE EX NARC, ITS WITH EVERYONE ELSE LIKE THE FLYING MONKEYS, BUT PAULA, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT NARCISSISM AND PEOPLE, I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND THE THINGS I HAVE GONE THROUGH, EMOTIONALLY I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH MORE STRONGER AND FREER !!!!!! THIS IS A SPIRITUAL WARFARE I NEVER EVER WANT TO GO THROUGH AGAIN, BUT I REALIZE I HAD TO GO THROUGH!!!!!!!! IT IS A JOY TO BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE TRULY A GOD SEND!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I AM GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! I HAVE JOY AND HAPPINESS AND GREAT HOPE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR CHANNEL YOU ARE TRULY A UNIQUE PERSON IN YOUR LANGUAGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF NARCISSISM
My narcissist has several baiting maneuvers, gossip and speculation about others (never benign or generous) being her favorites. Nothing shuts her down or makes her angrier than looking directly at her with zero expression and saying in a bored tone of voice "That sounds like a personal problem" without any emotion or judgment, and not feeding the conversation at all. The only thing worse than this is, if she's speculating about someone else, is to suggest simply calling them to ask and find out. She becomes quite flustered at this, even though it's a perfectly rational way to resolve a genuine concern. The problem, for her, is that hmshe isn't genuinely concerned about the person at all; she's enjoying the speculation and innuendo.
God bless you, Paula. You are a good Wolf who helps others 🙏💝 I try to keep up with things that nurture my soul like being in Nature and being creative..High vibes to stay grounded 🙂🕊
It's a spiritual war we are fighting for our soul ! It's like when you ignore them they'll try and get to you by smearing your name . I definitely think the ignoring them is the Best tactic to employ. Try and listen to music you enjoy, listen to empowering videos like these are all good ways to take your thoughts away from the pain they've caused or are still causing you. It's definitely like we are in a war and we need to have strategies ! 🌹🙏
Book Link Below:
Weaponised Love -a.co/d/g4bB4MI
Narcissist people ALWAYS hate good looking and or strong honest sincere people. They will gravitate towards these types and try to take on these good traits for themselves (mirroring) all while attempting to diminish and beat down and hurt and condescend the healthy person. They try to steal and obsorb the good and replace your goodness with pain and chaos. They may win in the short term but in the long term they end up alone and bitter.
Spot on 👍
I knew someone who could not stand a guy (Steve) at church. Steve was “strong, honest and sincere.” I didn’t understand at the time what he had against Steve. Steve seemed solid. I realize now that maybe Steve saw through him and didn’t give him the time of day and he didn’t like it.
Well said. My thoughts exactly! I have suffered this many times. It is wicked and disgusting! I thank the good Lord that I am coming out of this narcissistic abusive relationship. I'm glad I found videos like these to teach me about narcissism. I never knew it existed!
Absolutely correct! Spiritual War! The Narcissist and The Empath is a battle of the soul. Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
Going through this right now I am tall maybe good looking it gives the narc the complete shits .They also hate honest and not greedy people .They feed from you with ideas the narcs I know have a pad and pen ready to steal your ideas taste music books movies food that’s all they do steal your identity.
The narc I was with for far too long used my empathy, loyalty, strength, knowledge, and my home. Like a vampire he drained every ounce of what I had for his benefit. By standing on my back he bolstered his image and credibility and silenced me.
His promise of better things to come in our retirement was a lie, as was everything about him. He was so skilled at being covert, so under the radar that I didn’t catch on until the last 2 years. Then I was angry with myself for not seeing it. Eventually I took that anger and put it on him where it belonged. I moved him out physically while he was away. I went no contact. It wasn’t easy but now, almost 1 year alone, I feel much better. I still don’t understand how someone can be so manipulative and evil while saying “I love you” every day. So I don’t miss him. But at times I miss what I thought we had. It was all fake.
They like saying I love you.Their words don't match their actions.They manipulate with love bombing
@naspa2790 thank you, it gives me strength to end this battle I'm abt to go thru.. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Yes ma'am. Mine was a very similar story.❤ Peace for us all.
They are REAL mask wearers. A good way of knowing that someone is a narc is by finding out what they say about you behind your back... Stay narc free my friend ❤
Yes, we all kind of miss that fantasy of what we thought we had, but was never real
They're basically evil people that we need to avoid.
I avoid them at all costs
"But that's so judgmental to say!" On the other hand, my lack of discernment at a certain point when I knew better kind of got me into bigger trouble for a second here and there until I finally got out. Anyway, thank you for calling a spade a spade with those types
Yes so simple. Some people are in fact evil, no soul. Freaky when you find out.
@@blairjones1086 Yeah. I agree. Really weird.
I'm old and what I wish I knew all along is if someone makes you feel bad about yourself, just avoid them.
I think they are fundamentally broken souls that don’t understand normal human behaviour. I feel sorry for them if I’m honest
Understanding narcissism forty years ago would have saved me a decade of healing.
I am so sorry...I understand.
Some people STILL don't see it or just don't want to see it so you are ahead of the game in keeping them out of your life so at least they will fly off and stick to someone else ( hopefully another narc ) 😂❤❤Stay safe and well.
Be patient, with yourself, and with God. It WILL happen. You WILL heal and they WILL fall. Blessings to all the warriors out there
Amen
God, I don't want to fail, I just want them to stop picking on people. My narc mother actually called, the scapegoat, a Bully.
It's not easy being a narcissist.
I so needed to see your comment. ❤
Amen
People don’t understand that these predators go after strong people. When you catch their lies you rip that mask off they will become abusive but also rage and if you grew up in a family that scapegoated you it becomes triggering you freeze, fawn or leave. You can’t fight them it’s like wrestling with a dirty pig you’re get dirty too or you can do is leave. They’re soul draining I truly believe that their spiritually evil.
That's their entire playbook - put you into Stress... Where the things they do to you are Meant to put your body physically into stress- Fight, Flight, or Freeze. Once you really understand, you regain that control. They purposefully dys-regulate your nerves and nervous system. Practice inner peace, however that works for you. ❤
Yes the first narcissist was their god Lucifer who they serve he sent them on assignment to steal kill and destroy
You are so right! It used to be just fight or flight, yet I would freeze.. so I'm so glad there are others. This freeze dynamic triggers too many related issues in different areas of life.
I feel that , I've experienced that. And I would make up reasons why and forgive. Freeze fawn. I'm became good at that. But healing is coming
They also try to pull lightworkers into darkness, tempt them into their world and, if they follow them in to the dark, they then accuse and make them feel guilty and condemned.
I love that you said "the truth and the light are so much greater than the dark".
I so appreciate that you consider this a Spritual war. Because it is.
It's the demon Jezebel
This is what keeps me fighting. ❤
@@peayleebaron4147 I agree! Jezebel must leave in the name of the Jesus Christ whose name is above every name!!
@@lisakay7862 amen amen and amen
Yep!!
No contact, ignore completely, smile and have fun, don't talk about them, don't look at them...
❤
Don't think about them.They are Evil demons and can sense when you are sending out thought vibes !!! 5:20
No Contact of anykind! Not even thoughts!!!
No Contact of anykind! Not even thoughts!!!
My abusive husband,for decades harassing me that I am after his money.We sre getting older,with that threatening that I am nobody ,slowly killing me.I don’t sense parts of my body.Does not want to do regular divorce or visit counselor.No solution😅
It's getting really CRAZY out there now.....they are literally on EVERY STREET CORNER......
It's biblical.
Hahaha! So damn true
💯An epidemic ‼️
🙏🌎☮️
i recently watched that movie 'The Exorcist', because it has just so many references to narcissism, even one example of the vomit they spew out onto other people and also the prechers stating 'don't talk to the demon, it will just use anything you say against you' along with how the demon transfers over to the priest when he becomes enraged at the end. This is their aim, to transfer their evil energy onto us. Some of these people could really use an exorcism!
Yes, they want us like them!
😂😂
For me it was not symbolic. I likely saw whirling black balls in my residences upon my two significant other Narc violent discards. In 2010 my little doggie saw it too. Clear as day
A young woman i worked with named her daughter after the girl from the exorcist (her favourite movie) think it was Reagan...make with that what you like
The pain was excruciating....but now I'm glad of it,I'm the happiest I've been in 26 years.
🥰
The pain 😢
He's so chaotic and unpredictable that he has become totally predictable in the past week. What a huge breakthrough for ME. He knows I know and he senses that I'm ready to end it permanently. So tonight he showed up drunk with a ring and asked me to marry him. I laughed. 😂🤷🏼♀️ He cried himself to sleep because he loves me 😂 and now I'm stuck with him until morning. He doesn't love anything about me except my brand new car, credit cards and outstanding credit score. He wants me to buy US a house. We've been dating for 6 months 🤦🏼♀️The empathy train has left the station 💪
Please be careful -he is getting desperate. He will keep trying new tactics to keep you. It would be good if he sought out some proff. help with the State he is in but he might not be willing to do so. Best for both of you safety wise 🙏🌸
Thed do become so predictable for sure! My ex asked me to marry him when he knew I was over him. He asked me to marry meanwhile I was already planning my escape😂 pathetic they are
@@Stephanie-xx7jc I ditched him and his fake rings 1 week to the day later! I just sat back and observed him for that week while waiting for payday because he owed me $25. I took him to an ATM to get my money then told him it was over when we got back to house 😂 He only asked if he could have my son's golf clubs that he had been begging me and if he could borrow some cat food! Like wth who does that?! 😂 When you finally see these clowns for who they really are you have no problem laughing it off. He texted me a week later and berated me with vile insults. My response.... more laughter 😂
@@Consiouschoices I ditched him 1 week to the day later. I could care less about his safety. Maybe he'll get run over by a car while walking because he can no longer use me for mine. The brand new lease vehicle that he punched a dent in, punched the dashboard, threw handfuls of dirt in and choked me in while I was driving him and his friend somewhere. Luckily he's leaving me alone. Just pray that his new supply is adequate until he ends up in prison.
@@twofry64 Thank you for Update. I am happy that you are free. You sound very strong. Best wishes for you going forward 🙏🌸🌿💚
No longer being afraid of them, physically and mentally, for me that has given me power.
Detachment!!!! My ex enjoyed gossiping about other people, and in the beginning I used to give my opinion which is usually opposite of his and he would blow up in my face which would cause me to react. As soon as I start to react he would get quiet and record my reaction. Eventually I learned how to detach. And irritated him. He would go on and on and I would watch him and smile. I would nod to show engagement but the look on my face is screaming “you are so full of shit” 😂😂
i just keep having flash backs and realize this was a empty realtionship! This man was always used avoidance and has only come out to throw us bread crumbs
I serendipitously discovered another potent strategy yesterday in conversation with a neighbor. Suddenly it became clear to me that I was dealing with a bona fide N. All at once she turned on me and began projecting things on me that were subtly vile and clearly untrue. So I said, "That offends me." What a shock to her, my abruptness and lack of expected politeness. (N's depend on people being nice.) She almost lost her stuff right then and there sort of wheezing and gasping for air. I had claimed the victim position in the victim/perp/rescuer drama triangle and you know, N’s believe it’s theirs and theirs alone. It’s where they get lots of power. She sparred with me to wrestle it back with all her might but I just held it. In the end, I could not end the conversation with dignity, she would not release me, and so… as I pressed the red end call button I could still hear her raging in the background. I give myself a high mark for everything, however, I must admit that it's taken me a few hours to clear out the trauma energy.
So true. EVERYTHING is a competition.
Yes
OMG YESSSS!!!! Its like I'm his worse enemy it's creepy
@@danieraye30 Exactly. It gets SO old being competed with over nothing...continually.
"Just be patient, the truth and the light are so much stronger than the accumilation of the datk" ❤ epic!
I agree with you, we are DEFINITELY in a spiritual warfare!
I don’t think you could ever be safe around a narcissist.
Yes it is A True Spiritual Warfare!!!!
The Holy Spirit delivering Me daily!!!!
You can never destroy a narcissist. Their demon watches out for them and this familiar spirit taunts you.
You will need an act of God to achieve this.
Having said that the only way is to cut off the so called soul bond that is within you and forbid the demon from coming into your space.
@James-mc5hc This takes the Power Of The Holy Spirit to break those chains that bind you!!!
When his mask dropped and I saw "IT" and seconds later his outside body covered it back up - I saw by the look on his face - he knew I saw IT. He knew.. How can he live like that knowing that thing is in him ? SCARY !
@@James-mc5hc i think in the end they burn their bridges and as Paula had said in her one talk last taste of what was good in their life will be their worse self trying dedperstely to use every ounce of tricks till they have none left.
Always good to go for a drive with them....see if they drive close to vehicle in front. If they get road rage etc., often anything Narc will very quickly come out in the car.
Ex husband presents enjoy driving while drunk he says he drives better drinking he's a horrible entity. Driving drunk is insanity he may one day when evil ready for his soul car accidents behind his drunkenness.68 year old child.
😂😂😂 so true
Yes, thats true, also see how they handle slow internet and anything that could annoy them😂
Mine was opposite....a cautious driver. But did most of everything else....triangulation... fucking around.....projection.....Gaslighting...silent treatment....and worse stuff.
Always dress better than them. They feel bad.
Be with them just enough so they can't hurt you.
Let them contact you. Don't go out of your way for them unless they deserve it.
Its very true about dark forces and spirituality. In dark times I turned to my church and spoke to the minister privately as I was struggling to understand why this abuse had happened to me. He simply said this is the path you chose and these dark people are put here to teach you, it's how your spirit learns and progresses. Some may find that unbelievable but I also believe it to be true.
Narcs are the devils soldiers. Through a romantic but unfortunate affair with a narc I come closer to our creator. I read the Bible quit often. Never did before. Good luck.
Yes, I'm finally, after much suffering, now realizing that the narc's purpose is to be the "devil", the "adversary" who is there to give us the opportunity to not react in kind to their hatred, to "turn the other cheek...resist not evil...bless those that curse you..." -- to learn to love our enemies just as Jesus taught, even in the face of impending destruction. There is much power in disciplining our emotions, which allows us to develop courage to become who we truly were created to be. I found that my experience with the narc helped me to see that the enormous "beam in their eye" was showing me the splinters in my own eye that needed to be removed. Narcs are bullies who seek out weaknesses in others so they can project and dump everything they don't want to take responsibility for onto the "victim". Don't play the victim and they'll go away to find another.
Hi. May l recommend you watch Batel Skater's "When darkness can't hide from the light." You will understand how this evil orientation to life strengthens us to master the darker times ahead. They despise us, because they are jealous of us being in the light. Even strangers. Good luck.
@@rolandoscar1696 -- I agree! Her insight helped me to see how I had accepted the evil projected onto me and believed that I was the evil one, or that I somehow deserved it. I discovered that deep down I had taken on the narc's self-hatred as my own, surreptitiously abusing myself by allowing others to abuse me. Watching Batel has helped me to see the evil for what it is. I swear, narcissists are truly the "devil's minions" -- they all use the same playbook, thereby exposing themselves for what they are behind the mask of "Mr Nice Guy".
@@GnosticGuru Same. l was exposed to my dad's abuse from the age of 6. Wife- beatings, blackmail, and constantly being told how useless we all were. We didn't even need to do anything wrong, but he'd find some excuse to destroy our happiness. He would argue one thing one day, and then the opposite the next, just to win the argument. I was so confused, l didn't know what to think anymore. As an adult, I avoided him by moving far away, and only visited my family on short holidays.
Four years ago, he had a life- changing medical condition. My sister summoned me to help. l dropped everything, and drove up to see him. His doctor was prescribing wierd medication, and he was telling me delirious shit. I got him out of that hospital, put him in the shower to clean the poo off him that accumulated in his shorts, got him to another hospital, and two weeks later brought him home and helped him back onto his feet. A year later I visited him from London, where l worked as a team leader for a garden service company, when lockdown happened. I spent every day working in his garden, and he said many times, "Do anything you want in my garden", and best of all, we had become friends. I was as happy as a pig in Palestine. Then one day he yelled blue murder, saying l was spending too much time in his garden, "doing anything you want" and l should be sitting in front of a computer rather, learning stuff, "like me!' l was 57 years old, and still he tried to control me. He knows how much l hate computers, and don't even know how to switch one on. Never mind him always saying, "Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy." He never changed. Then came the usual derogatory insults, then the lies. The mask slipped for the very last time then. I haven't seen him for two years, and I will never trust him again. Ever.
Funny how he always bragged how when entering a place that required signing in, he would begrudgingly write "Diablo." The irony.
You have to have a awesome strategy with these people. Remember you are the light. And it’s a spiritual war fare. And we’ve already won. There will be no weapon formed against us that will prosper. Come out from among them.
*Narcissistic* *Strong-holds:* 3:34
4:06 *Power* (let them know that you know who they are)
5:58 *Control* (be non-emotional so that the narcissist cannot project onto you)
8:00 *Fuel* (expose the narcissist in front of other people)
9:50 (ignore the narcissist and go no-contact)
12:34 (make an unfavorable comparison with the narcissistic ego image)
15:38 (become non-triggerable and avoid entering the chaotic world of the narcissist)
17:08 (the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth)
19:32 (come to the point of indifference about the narcissist)
23:33 (reject/discard the narcissist before they do it to you - and do not accept the hoover attempts that come from them afterward)
25:39 (be genuinely happy about your life afterward)
Thank you!!
It's a great list and works well for healing which I call a must have!
I did some of this without realizing it. It is not easy, but it’s worth it. It’s sad (for them) that these people can’t even be your friend. They will ruin that too.
@@tanyatanya891 I didn't have a easy life it was a lot of hard work, but can honestly say this was the most mentally exhausting experience I ever encountered, yes they see objects not human emotions!
@@tanyatanya891 You will look back at it and laugh at how unaware you were that such a person existed, but now they have proof with technology that psychopathy is not that rare.
I showed his friends what he done to me, he knocked me out, and beat me black and blue. And they weren’t very happy what they saw.
These are so good. An extra for me is simply (narcissist aside) get on with your life, grow, expand yourself, move on, live your BEST life and don't allow them to even enjoy five minutes of this best life with you! It'll kill them to see how strong and HAPPY you can be without them. Do it for yourself...not them. Also fake it until you make it lol 🥰
Oops you mentioned this in your last point. Sorry for repeating...didn't get that far in the vid...
Yes ruthie they need us. We don't need them.
Yes I used to feel I was in competition with my father. I lent him a trolley to move some of his stuff, and he did not take care of it and damaged it. Then he bought one for himself and was showing it to as being better than mine. It stays in my memory after 20 years because it seemed at the time such odd behaviour. Two years ago I discovered he was a narcissist. Now all adds up. Narcissists all seem tarred with the same brush and are always predictable.
Great video Paula! Don't give in brothers and sisters! Dig deep, bite the bullet, heal and then move forward and conquer! 🗡️🔥 I too believe this is rooted in the spiritual, the devil comes to steal kill and destroy and he was the original narcissist remember. If you don't believe in the spiritual realm you pretty soon will understand what evil personified looks like. It looks like the person that did and said those things to you...... deliberately. Let that sink in. Yes I never dreamt that there could be such vindictive people as my wife, she nearly killed me with a number of covert manoeuvres. If I can overcome this after a 33 year experience of psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical abuse then so can you. Blessings 🙌
Thank you, this experience is drawing me closer to god.. I hate that horrible dark enegy I feel when thinking about the narcissist..I look back and can really see more clearly the farther I get in my healing..
Embrace your FAITH, God will see you through. Dark energy perfect definition.
You hit the nail on the head with the aging narcissist
Thank you for this video!! One of the things that these monsters do is procreate with you so that you MUST interact with them. If you are one of those people, like I am, maximize the concept of minimal contact. 1.set firm boundaries and keep them. 2. Communicate solely in writing. 3. No spoken word during parental exchange. 4. When in their presence where a mask, sunglasses and a hat so that you give ZERO fuel. 5. Don’t bother to get out of the car during the custody exchange. 6. Set one location for ALL custody’s exchanges. 7. Your home is sacred. They should not be allowed there. PERIOD. If they show up, CALL THE POLICE! 8. Do *not* make the location of the custody exchange your home. Use a neutral location WITH CAMERAS or a police station. God bless you and God bless us all because these demons are plentiful on the earth right now.
@Kimm Jenn if only it were that simple. In many cases our kids Choose the abuser and there isn’t anything we can do. Courts don’t care. No one cares. Sadly.
Yes, they are here. One thing I would like to add , they come out with movies about themselves. And they have lots of support. But we have the word of God to fight off the scheme of the devil.
@Kimm Jenn I agree. But unfortunately the courts perpetuate the abuse in So many ways! They FORCE us to leave our children with these demons. Unless I want to lose custody all together- I have to follow the evil court orders.
Words of wisdom, thank you.
They hate being called “losers.” They know they’re perverted and corrupt but the fact that they are on the track to self-destruction and will never have a good life but will destroy everything they touch really rocks them.
Yes it’s a spiritual battle friends. Jesus came face to face with Satan and defeated him with scripture. We can and should do the same - not to the narc’s face but speaking it out loud. Remember that our conflict is not with flesh and blood but the spiritual wickedness behind these people. “Greater is He that is in me (Jesus) than he that is in the world” 1 John 4:4 ⚡️✝️🔥
Thanks Paula! ❤️
Amen❤
There’s no way I could ever be glad about what happened to me …she tried to kill me in every way possible.. 1 year out and still struggling to put a roof over my head… Good work once again Paula … exactly this a war to stop you from doing Gods purpose that was predestined for your life
Haha so true. I am (or was) the type of person who hands out compliments super freely and any time I would say anything positive about anyone around him (even just public figures that neither one of knew or never would know) I visibly saw him flinch even though he would try to hide it. Just insanely jealous of everyone and everything. A jealous person is someone you want to stay away from. If for no other reason, because they will never be able to be happy for you.
My immediate thought on seeing the title was, they will find any excuse to lose their minds. You don't need to do a thing.
Like a balloon with to much air, they are always ready to pop. Good riddance!!
The minute you said spiritual warfare. I have a thumbs Up . Keep prayed up , seriously. No Joke . This is REAL. These are Demons. Do not interact with this Helloween . Because these Demons (narcissist) are behind these spells . Pray on this night . Seriously
Paula, you really understand on a much deeper level---what a Narcissist really is, how they think and operate!
Your going through all of this mentally while they don’t even care, they feel nothing for you. no contact is the only way to be free and have your life back, at first it seems mean and not possible but once your free of anxiety and worry of them controlling you, your life is yours again. They won’t change they will terrorize your life forever don’t walk, run away
By far the biggest and best action to take is to move on and find someone else and make sure they know that they have been replaced. No direct contact and allow the truth to come out naturally but replace them and be happy and make sure they know it.
"Your emotions are bullets in their gun"! WOW!
Narc Con. 🙏🏼 thank you for these videos. Having mostly(?) recovered from this abuse, I'm feeling healthier these days. BUT, today I was triggered and fell into the rabbit hole of grief, feeling the loss of life never having set well enough boundaries with my narc people. At 60 years old I'm feeling sad at looking back. I did try to hold it together with these people, ie my deceased mother and husband. Now learning to set boundaries with my grown children. Sometimes I feel so lost, like what have I done😢. I'm just having a moment. But damn it hurts. They broke my heart. So much wasted time. I'm ok being alone, but I do get lonely. Kinda scared of what is out there. Someday I can trust again.
These videos help with recovery ❤️🩹
🥰🌹
I'm almost 70 I feel like I wasted my life on three bad husbands the anger they transferred onto me and it's ruined a lot of my relationships after that I seriously thought that I was supposed to be a good wife a faithful wife these were just the opposite bad husbands not fateful not generous all kinds of put Downs and I thought I had to stay married for religious reasons to these creeps I don't think you ever get over it when you waste this much of your life on this and I am alone
Pleasing God by staying with these miserable men God had nothing to do with it as a matter of fact he said he hates it on love married woman I was not loved I was controlled manipulated there was no love in these marriages God did not tell me or make me to stay in these marriages that was a made-up garbage to control a woman. Mean son of a b******
@@kathleen4611 I'm sorry
@@truthseeker3773 thanks
Thank you as always Paula. I’ve stayed private on my social media and finally gone no contact for real for two weeks and starting to feel so much better xx
🙋♀️🤗
12:31 ( To Get Away From Something That's Darn EVIL )... That sent shivers down my spine... Thank you for Reminding me x
Me too.
Brilliant video, Paula. Your understanding of the psychology of the narcissist and your ability to crystalize it into words is phenomenal. Thank you for the light you bring to this community of survivors. ❤
Thank you Diana for your words 🌹
Agree with this 💯☮️
Great video! I have also found that telling the narcissist to their face when they start to try their predatory manipulative behavior that you love them and forgive them but will not partake in their behavior anymore and walk away or end the communication right then that it enrages the narcissist and causes them to completely remove the mask in that moment exposing their true narcissist self.
I'm more like her, keep your mask up, ok, well uh, bye now. And thank you.
Oh yes , I saw the narcissist for who he is, I even saw the devil in his eyes.
Dear Paula, very good points!!! Writing them down in here so that people can read them. Many regards to NY and hoping you are enjoying your time with your son🤗
Motivation/Drivers of a Covert Narcissist
1. POWER 2. CONTROL 3. FUEL
How can you shut a Narcissist down?
You can do it by these strategies:
1. Show the Narc that you know who
he/she is - you are looking behind
the mask.
2. Do not be emotionally because
emotions are the Narcs fuel for they
can project all their negative emotions
onto you.
3. Exposing a Narc infront of other people
will shut down all of their "airports"
at once.
4. Ignore the Narc totally by "No Contact"
5. Compare something to the Narc that
is of more value. (The Narc is always
in a competition and this would mean
that his ego would be going mad and
he would go into the bait.)
6. Do not fight back/
Do not let you go triggered by the Narc
7. The truth and nothing but the truth,
because the truth will always come out.
(The existence of a Narc is built up
by lies for his mask is nothing but a lie)
8. Be totally indifferent to the Narc
9. Reject the Narc
10. Be genuinly happy in your life,
Live your life by your fullest potential!!!
Get out of the dark spirit of the Narc and step into the light (love, peace, truth and freedom). 💖 For you are the light 💖
Thank you, well done the list. * Who revived in the narcissist his dark inner spirit that commands and haunts even him? * The narcissists have big black eyes, magnetic and dangerous, hypnotic gaze, wide opened. As the soldiers, the veterans from the I. and II. world war or the war in Vietnam: Shell shock and war neuroses (from wiki) * Before the term post-traumatic stress disorder was established, people that exhibited symptoms were said to have shell shock or war neuroses. This terminology came about in WWI when a commonality among combat soldiers was identified during psychiatric evaluations.These soldiers all appeared to be in a catatonic state following battle, or "shocked by shells", hence the term shell shocked. What does it mean, at all? There is too much violence in this world, arrogance in families and the lack of respect in the whole society, mostly, so we must bring the light, peace and love in our hearts.
So angels are real and walk among us ❤ this is the narcissist’s nightmare . Amazing content
one minute ago!! hi! you were one of the ones who helped me finally leave him! sending love your way. and glad that God is using you
🥰🙏
Going 'no contact' is none violent and self preservation, and no where near as cruel as what they have done to me.
Indifference is a wonderful place to be. Peace is possible when you are detached from the narc. You can become invincible to the narc. Develop a force field of indifference.
When a narcissist ages, losing their beauty, health and sometimes wealth, they are left with nothing except bitterness and rage.
It is a dismal prison they can not escape - it is literally Hell on Earth for them.
But why they look so happy outside
Expose them. Be loud. Be consistent. And tell everyone they know. Keep doing it. Be relentless. Block them don’t give them access to you. Always expose them all you have to do is tell the truth.
Excellent instruction. Best I have seen. I have experienced the full range:men and women. I believe I have now encountered the last one and the last type: the cerebral narcissist. In depression, I was referred to a Psychoanalyst with a PhD in Psychological Medicine. He was extremely bright. I annoyed him because I had post grad qualifications and would sometimes disagree with him. He decided to take me down and I was vulnerable. I knew there was something wrong with him but new nothing of narcissism. I started watching videos on You Tube on the subject day and night. Most videos refer to the narcissism of partners so it made it more difficult but finally a professor explained cerebral narcissism and I knew that this was the Psychoanalyst. I severed contact. This man had said I had a persecution complex,had paranoia and was Borderline. In fact I had CPTSD. In your videos you must discuss therapists who are narcissists. Many are and are very dangerous. Your method of instruction and calm put you in a good position to have a wide audience.
One of the most narcissistic people I've ever met my life is my mom who is 81 years old that I've lived decades away from by 2300 miles. Anyway, she loved to use the word "persecution complex" when I was in my twenties a few decades ago about various people. Fast forward to me being near 49-yrs old (which is right now)--when the smear campaign occurred from my older sister with my younger and older brother joining in either separately or together--that's when I realized exactly why she judged people as having a so-called "persecution complex."
My poor dad still gets berated by him for not taking the correct driving lane. OR USED TO around me! They visited my town a few years ago, One time when she tried to pull that, I said, "I'm not going to tolerate hearing some annoying side seat wannabe driving instructor. I've also occasionally had to tell this to men's women who are getting too disrespectful to them in front of my face too."
She tried it one time the last time she was around and I just had to say "hey" and she shut up.
Anyhow, weather narcs say the term "persecution complex" or insinuate it in any way, shape, or form--what that's code for basically is that: "I am ANGRY that you're not going to let me dominate you the way I'm sneakily trying to anymore!" Well, good... I'm shutting down those narcs like an awesome Super Bowl bound NFL defense. Part of that requires me to be non-reactive or to ignore certain things.. pretend like it went right over my head here and there... But if they keep at it sporadically--FUCK the often advised grey-rocking, I'm calling it out! Now it's not going to be in a loud way if I'm doing it right... But I'll fairly are firmly disagree or see something flat-out sarcastic like the more than deserve to hear.
PSPS--NO CONTACT is the best way to go a lot of times with these types. As the end of the movie WarGames says via the computer in the government nuclear war room, "The ONLY winning move is to not play the game! How about a nice game of chess or checkers instead?"
LOOKING RADIANT AS EVER AND BEING THE FIRST TO START THE DIVORCE PROCESS IS WHAT I DID!
Thank you. Your videos have helped me immensely. I was a discard but that is because I kept speaking up about his conduct with women and how he was hurting me. His deceptions, his using me financially and sexually. My boundaries got too high and he could never be accountable. It was easier to toss me out that look at himself. He was grandios, emotionally stunted and a gaslighter. I bent and twisted my self to get him to see him. Love me. He can’t. I cried for a month, studied these videos and sought to understand him. It wasn’t me. I tried to change him… that is on me. I pray for the next woman or many women. But me…my life is so much better without him. God is blessing me in ways that would never have happened if I stayed. And I would have if he didn’t release me. You are an Angel. Thank you!!
🙏🌹
I literally feel like I wrote this today. Hope you’re doing well. 🤍
Paula, thank you again for putting this content out there for the awakening of the truth in those who have ears to hear. I've been transformed in this year, having come to know the truth of the relationships I've been engaged in with the "people" I've loved. I'm now so much more healed. I AM happy to be where I am now, having gone to hell and back, and now knowing where my true value lies. The other thing you can do to disempower the narcissist is to live your best life by giving yourself all the love and self care that you once poured at their feet.
It's so amazing that sadly almost everything you describe here I've experienced by my own biological mother. She didn't actually raise me but strongly created the illusion to people that somehow she actually did. As uncomfortable as it was, because of my love for her, I refrained from challenging her about her fake motherhood. I secretly resented her for it. But I loved my other siblings whom she did raise so I mostly kept quiet. There are many other fake truths. Too many to list here. One day she took me to the ultimate limit. And just like the Emporeor's fake New Clothes, I had no choice but to admit that in fact, she wasn't even wearing any clothes. There she was standing naked right there in front of me, naked. I could see every molecule of who she really was. I decided that from all I knew she had no true conscious and it was all I could do not to despise her. But I was determined that she would not send my soul to Hell by hating the women who had birthed me into this world. In spite of her, I was still a child of a Living God. After a lot of praying and crying, God led me to the understanding that I was actually dealing with a real live narcissist for a mother. The light bulb suddenly went off in my mind and there was the explanation I'd been searching for since she'd come back into my life! No wonder I'd been so confused! These people are strange enough to confuse anybody! There started the beginning of my research. Your videos among others have helped me understand so much and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will thank the others too. She is primarily overt but she will also switch into a covert mode depending on the situation. I've educated myself thoroughly and I'm now truly convinced that this personality is led by a very dark spirit. Based on many of her behaviors, possibly even demonicly influenced. I want to tell your audience that your strategies here can really work if they are victims. They just have to determine the ones that work best for them. For me, I can use practically all of them. I now live about 30 miles from her where as 4 years ago I lived 5 hrs from her. Living closer, having more contact, and being more mature than in my younger years revealed EVEN MORE dysfunction about her than I even realized after the 37 years of living away. Moving closer was what I thought would be an even closer relationship instead turned out to be painfully revealing and disappointing. Eventually traumatizing. God had always wanted me to see the truths but I convinced myself to overlook them. Eventually I felt obligated to overlook them. Now, I have confronted my own truth AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH about her. I've created my own separate life and my own circle of friends. I no longer want to fit in with her everyday life. I've joined my own church and my life is abundant and beautiful. I feel the chains are broken. I'm free. Though I keep a safe distance from her I try to be there when she is medically ill or needs something special. Otherwise I visit her from time to time in short sessions. Unless there's a family event, about 2 hours does it. It works perfectly. Initially, it was really difficult to overcome the guilt of avoiding her and the ridicule from her flying monkies & friends. She's physically beautiful and outgoing. A fabulous cook.. Therefore, many people easily flock to her. But God kept me on a straight path and kept telling me that I was to obey His will; not hers. Now I'm at peace with everything. Once I started transitioning, it took about 1 year to reach my inner peace. But admittedly it wasn't easy. I look so much like her. People constantly remind me. Thankfully I like her genes she passed on to me. 🤣 But my heart in no way resembles hers. To break free, I just had to keep remembering how I've experienced more superficial love and jealously from her over the years than I care to think about. The parents who raised me taught me real love and unselfish devotion. I know how that kind of love feels. Thats what I was able to give my own son. I'm so thankful. Now that I know who and what she is I know that if there has to be a winner, I'm the real winner. God finally saved me from her dysfunction. I was just another pawn in her scheming egotistical mind. Knowing how she operates also means being constantly ready to respond strategically to any of her big bag of tricks. Ones that I was totally blinded to before. Even in the most peaceful moments they can catch you off guard if you're not vigilant. They're not always directed at me but many times I'm the only one in the room who actually sees them. I just watch and listen and when I've had my fill I simply just leave. Just get out. Now, I'm no longer as resentful for her deceptive nature. Sadly it's just who she is. I don't dwell on and on about her anymore. And I don't feel sorry for her. I simply let God handle her however He sees fit. And yes I can enjoy her company to a degree but because she can no longer control me it's all superficial. And that's OK. I don't expect anything else. That's just how it is. 've forgiven her but I never intend to forget all the terrible things I've learned. Some are not involving me but still shockingly revealing. I do not compete with her but I will graciously, promptly and sternly call her out when she tries to create the illusion that she still has power over me. She knows now that I know her darkness is there. She knows she no longer has no power over me. She's afraid of the light and truth that I bring. She knows that our relationship can never be restored to what it once was because it was never real in the first place. So that is my ultimate power over her. Becaue she realizes my power, it secretly embarrasses her. So she plays victim to her friends and flying monkies. Many of whom I also love and grew up with. Oh well... It amuses me to watch her trying to figure out my motives. How sad that she can never understand that my only motive is to remain at peace with myself and stay out of her chaotic manipulative web of lies and protect my spirit from the very person that birthed me into this world. Again, I just want to tell you thanks and tell your viewers here to learn what you are trying to teach them because this information comes from a higher power. For them to keep praying for guidance, strength and protection. Reasearch narcissism to better understand the spiritual forces that motivate these manipulative individuals. They fiercely compete and hide from their own true identities. Until I gained this knowledge, I was confused & blind. Gaining this knowledge is truly like coming out of the darkness into the light. And just like you said here...The light will always win. Thank you. Sincerely, Deborah
Hi, I hear what you’re saying. Will you please take a serious piece of advice? Stop looking after your mother when she is medically ill, or visiting her for any other reason. You are being conned. You are always being conned. There are no neutral interactions with a narcissist. Meanwhile, if she is being demonically influenced, then how can you possibly stand to be in the same room as her, knowing that the demon is targeting others, and targeting you? Please don’t tempt fate. Having a protective perimeter around you is a gift from God, and it isn’t to be treated haphazardly, but with honour - if you can separate, then separate. There is an unhealed and hardened piece of yourself, which must soften and heal. You have got to get out 100%. You aren’t in control if you are in its presence, and it’s only a matter of time before you lose your soul. Do not look after your mother. Move on. Even if it feels like death, it’s life. Cutting off my mother brought on adult onset asthma for me, and a partially collapsed lung, from the emotional distress, from which I still suffer, 6 years later. But there is life. Real life and full life. And it’s all for God. I wish you well. God bless you.
I see that someone has the audacity to tell you that you're not doing it right and that they know better than you do what you need to do.
Stay strong in doing things your way. ❤
From Detroit ... Before I ever started watching videos about narcissism, I had somehow developed the strategy of being flat with Bill, just emotionless. He called it, "business mode." He hated when I was in "business mode." He said, I'd rather you be angry with me, yell at me." So, just on my own, I figured out the way to get to him was a flat demeanor. But I was still very confused about what was happening.. Bill was an alcoholic, and I was at my wits end, trying to understand all the drama -- and the lying. So I was googling around and looked up something like, "constant lying" and that's where I ran into TH-cam videos on the topic; and THAT's when I started to climb up out of the pit that is life with a narcissist. It's been a very long process. I have ADHD so I'm especially sensitive and was really traumatized,
Silver Fox narc survivor….but the battle has only begun..
Excellent video Paula! I finally sold my home on family land just so I could get away from my soon to be ex narcissistic husband. I am closing from the sale of my house on Tuesday which is my birthday and what a gift, freedom after 20 years! As we are ending it here it has been a hard game to play to get this far. One of the ways I have been able to get the narcissist to understand why we are getting divorced and keep him on the same Pages me, is by comparing some of the things I've gone through by some of the TV moms on the older sitcoms. And as we're watching TV and packing up the things I would remind him who he's been. I have been doing this for a while now and it seems to really have helped me get out of this torturous Evil dark game. I would say look at Carolyn Ingles from Little House on the Prairie would have Charles started calling her names or physically abusing her etc etc etc, he actually looked ashamed and hated hearing it. All he could say was okay okay I get it I get it he did not want to be reminded of who he actually is! If I can get out of this marriage this is a huge reminder to everyone reading this you can do it. I started reading about narcissistic people and abuse three or four years ago. I thought maybe I was making an excuse because covid hit, and I thank God above that I wasn't making excuses with myself I am finally here! I pray for anyone reading this that they find a way out whether they have to go and live in an apartment or something smaller even if you have to give up material items it's just not worth it, and I pray that you will find your freedom in Jesus Sweet and holy name!
Amen
Showing no emotion at all, and continuing on with your day, is the best reaction
You know of what you speak, thank-you.
The Truth and the Light are Stronger than the accumulation of darkness.
What A POWERFUL Statement!!!
Thank You.
I trimmed my tree last Christmas and then I did one for him. He said his was the prettiest tree he ever saw. My granddaughter asked him "What about ours?" He laughed and walked out of the room.
That non-emotional stuff really does get them, they have no where to go. I particularly find it useful when they aggressively spit out how they don't like something that you've just said you liked. I simply say, well, we don't have to like and dislike all the same things. Very logical, very true and very unemotional. Again, they've no place to go after that, it stuns them.
Setting ANY boundary at all makes them crazy. I told my boyfriend of 8 years ( he used my home like he owned it ) to please let me know when he is going to use the bathroom. He would disappear for 20 minutes in there when I had just told him I was putting dinner on the table ( we didn’t live together).
He was furious and kept mumbling under his breath “I can’t believe she said that”.
The relationship ended 2 months laster because he punished me again and again with horrible behavior for saying that and he disappeared in a rage and I was COMPLETELY DONE after that. He always Hoovers but he will get no response. I finally get who and what he is. No more sympathy for his childhood abuse, I am done.
Hi ! Great to be here. Leaving the narcissist after 20 years, 10 living with. Took years for me to realize what was happening and to heal! I am an Empath who has freed herself from him!
Wonderful!
Yes! Knowledge is like a shield against injury.
It's at the same time truly a path to healing and to mental and spiritual freedom.
🤞
Thank you. ☀️
Thank you. I am working on my art. I am still realizing what one of the narcs did and am beginning to ascertain and suspect the the lengths this person has gone to in order to sabotage my life. It's taken me quite awhile to get more self worth and boundaries. But you are so right, they are totally devious and evil. Phew. I am definitely listening to this video several more times❣️🙏🙏😇
This is blowing my mind because my adult child has lately used a lot of these on me. A few yrs ago she started a war insisting it’s to heal the psychological “wounds” I caused which “ruined her whole life”( although she says she had a happy childhood and she seems to be living the dream!). We had been very close and this is all new to me. She has used the look, the no emotions, the no contact, the exposing my faults to others,, “her truth”, indifference, rejection, and bragging about her happiness. She must be watching videos like these. !!!
Paula you are tha best at explaining how to defeat these narcissistic people..I'm happy an still on my healthy healing journey...he hooved me just yesterday about his do dying..I put up a sad face an kept on about my day ..this is how you be so undifferentiated with them...he took me through so much verbal abuse physical abuse emotional abuse. That I had no words for him...I'm so happy now..AN nothing will come between THAT !!!!! TY PAULA ❤️ 😍
🙋♀️🙏🌹
Agree! she is so smart
The Truth always Comes out....
.
Love the little light in total darkness analogy. How empowering it is. The last narc I was entangled with was aware of and expounded on his darkness. I was starting a process of inner work to balance or integrate my dark and light (kind of like shadow work). I started talking about the light and love and it creeped him out so bad he stopped emphasizing his dark traits. I basically told him how my self reflection showed me my negative aspects and how they affected people in my life and how some people had amends owed from me to them. Not just apologizing but amending situations. He looked terrified and even emptier then usual in his eyes. The prospect of things I disclosed during the process I was doing he had never heard of. I seriously felt his soul was shackled or deprived of God's love...the things I do to heal from my own demons threatened him. Praying, meditating, loving both fiercely and gently, totally foreign to him. I know I have a long way to go to escape my own prisons. Walking away from him is one of the hardest things. I know my attachment is sick and can be fatal to me both body and spirit. God grant us all strength and Grace to recover.
The strength is in US within OURSELVES first and foremost from a spiritual place of any kind… my spirituality comes from validation of myself & energies of our living Mother Earth…❤
My narcissist is now contacting my clients and my realtor . I am taking legal action . He’s lost his marbles . Sadly I am afraid for my life ! And that of my family ,as he has said in the past “ How would you like your whole family wiped out well their villa in the Spanish Virgin Islands! Yes I have reported it to the police .
Please be careful, and stay 100 steps ahead of the enemy at all times.. Don't just rely on the "system." Narcissists are on a power & control trip which is exactly why they are in career settings that allow them to have power and control of us. Narcissists become police officers, lawyers, judges, etc. I'm just saying... Stay Awake & Alert
I have found that the police are of very little help.
Have hard evidence, but if you lawyer up there are a few, very few lawyers that know about this disorder to weave into the court of law.....i deal with it myself. Im walking with very little money from my home, just to get out. I was slandered and smeared in this town a LONG time before i knew.
The police make it like im insane. When they know the truth!!
Your channel is amazing. I survived to narcissistic abuse relationships, and I was able to heal and I’m happier and more peaceful than I’ve ever ever been in my life.
5:00 "So you can even say to their face, 'Look, I know who you are! So there is no point in continuing this charade." (Looking "disenchanted" and "unemotional" as she says at the 4:20 or so mark). If I ever run into them again, I am SO literally stealing this line (because I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Well, I just found out YESTERDAY that my ex narcissist has been trying to smear me. He's still doing his best to "try" and destroy me. He can't, though, and he really needs to move on now, I am way stronger than he could ever imagine. Omg, actually, u hit the nail on the head. He is so boring, with no adventure, only destruction and taking.
That Dismissive Narcissist has no will against the Dark Empath
Yes, you learn their Narccraft and then you learn Empathcraft. But first you must healthily removing yourself in no contact, then accept and know yourself.
Great video again.
Thanks Paula.
I really do still struggle with letting go of this monster and I don’t know why. She has treated me and my kids like trash and tried to destroy us. I get that im in a trauma bond but it’s just hard to let go of the fake person they’ve presented for so many years
❤
So happy in my own skin now…seeing her for what she is…helps me to cope so well with being in her company and not letting her suck me in with any of the rubbish she talks about which now seems so pathetic…thank you for your wisdom Paula…Getting so much stronger..God Bless…🤗
This lady speaks the TRUTH! I've had an incredibly impossible year but a year of expedited growth while I put hard distance between me and 3 narcissists in my life. Do not give them ANY of your emotions even if they're starting a fight. Pay them dust, nothing. They have no RIGHT to disturb your peace. State the truth firmly when they come with lies/distortions. Tell them if you want to fight, you'll fight yourself," and walk off, every time. It's like training a dog, you'll see them with a look of shock on their faces. I practiced keeping my boundaries strong, my narcs look like pathetic children now, that have been mimicking adults. Keep your boundaries strong, REFUSE all fights by walking off, and give them ZERO emotions. I am finally at peace, they WILL self destruct.
You are so correct with all you have said.
I went no contact with my father a year and a half ago after my mother's funeral.
I have endured years of trying to please him,only to be criticized.
I am a successful physician and have felt as if " it is never going to be good enough ".
I began learning about narcissistic abuse and am in recovery.
Your podcasts are excellent and I am sharing them with my only sibling who will speak to me now.
Thank you for helping us believe in and live in the light!
Living in Truth is the only way to truly be alive even if it gets you killed Just like Jesus was crucified by all the jealous lies and still Lives
The True King of Life
Forever
This is so so true when I finally after years and years of him gaslighting me and my loving him back stood up to him and spoke truth! He still got flustered rude and defiant blaming me so I stepped away realizing he would rather live in delusional way than care about what hurts and offends me ! So now I pursue my purpose in the light and he lives in a sullen dark world and said he’s shutting the world out ! Btw in the beginning of the relationship I was shocked how he’s cut off his children over a small argument or sisters and brothers and not speak with them for years ! Hed rather be right and hateful than work things out ! Then it turned against me ! Please everyone look for these warning signs and know it will turn on you eventually the anger and entitlement and cold cruelty is all underneath the surface !
From Spain, this is the way! People need to know this information. Thank you.
Spot on! Going no contact and being busy or concentrated with your own interests and talents will seperate you from the narcissist. It works for me almost two years.
When I was finally discarded, my ex narc, I believe, had intended to hang around in our house we had together possibly to be able to enjoy watching me in pain and also continue with their "interest" with their new supply and if things failed they could always suck me back in. However, the extremety of the shock wave of the discard caused my brain to go into this rabbit hole of questions! I describe my discard as a "light switch" as it seemed so quick the change in them. It left me reeling in total discombobulation. They can get so cocky sometimes that they underestimate you and I found her out texting the new supply which I confronted her with and said I know what you've been up to. Well.....thats when the barrage of triangulation, accusations, threats really began. Her need to keep this innocent "front" had been shattered!!! She ran off to her mums house and I think I totally messed up her plans to stick around. I know this was meant to happen so that I would have the space to confront myself without having them in my face. I started down an incredible journey of self discovery. An awakening unravelled. I know I was truly guided down a path that had been waiting all my life. I found I wasn't seeking closure from them I was guided to my own closure. It can be the most incredible experience when you're ready!! Being caught out drives them into a frenzy!!🤣I told my ex that I was so grateful to them for what happened (that blows their mind!!!🤣🤣)and no, I wouldnt change a thing, even the things I could say I am deeply ashamed of but so much makes sense now💚
I had a narcissistic partner slander my kids and it felt so driven by competition. He made it out to be that I was a bad mother. My kids were already well adjusted adults, but I was actually questioning my parenting thinking maybe he was seeing something I wasn’t seeing. It felt so insane. Always on eggshells and you’re so right… even competitive towards me. Very child like.
PAULA YOU ARE A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING!!!!!!! I CAN SAY I AM SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH, ITS NOT COMPLETELY OVER BUT IT IS WITH THE EX NARC, ITS WITH EVERYONE ELSE LIKE THE FLYING MONKEYS, BUT PAULA, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT NARCISSISM AND PEOPLE, I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND THE THINGS I HAVE GONE THROUGH, EMOTIONALLY I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH MORE STRONGER AND FREER !!!!!! THIS IS A SPIRITUAL WARFARE I NEVER EVER WANT TO GO THROUGH AGAIN, BUT I REALIZE I HAD TO GO THROUGH!!!!!!!! IT IS A JOY TO BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE TRULY A GOD SEND!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I AM GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! I HAVE JOY AND HAPPINESS AND GREAT HOPE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR CHANNEL YOU ARE TRULY A UNIQUE PERSON IN YOUR LANGUAGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF NARCISSISM
That’s so good to hear Janice where you’ve traveled to keep going and thank you for your encouraging words 🥰
Paula is correct 🎉
Indifference is the BIG WIN 🏆
My narcissist has several baiting maneuvers, gossip and speculation about others (never benign or generous) being her favorites. Nothing shuts her down or makes her angrier than looking directly at her with zero expression and saying in a bored tone of voice "That sounds like a personal problem" without any emotion or judgment, and not feeding the conversation at all. The only thing worse than this is, if she's speculating about someone else, is to suggest simply calling them to ask and find out. She becomes quite flustered at this, even though it's a perfectly rational way to resolve a genuine concern. The problem, for her, is that hmshe isn't genuinely concerned about the person at all; she's enjoying the speculation and innuendo.
That made me laugh out loud. Thank you so much , spot on. Read what you wrote again, it actually sounds like your talking to a child
Bless us 🙌
This person has an amazing understanding of Narcs..❤
God bless you, Paula. You are a good Wolf who helps others 🙏💝 I try to keep up with things that nurture my soul like being in Nature and being creative..High vibes to stay grounded 🙂🕊
❤️🌹
It's a spiritual war we are fighting for our soul ! It's like when you ignore them they'll try and get to you by smearing your name . I definitely think the ignoring them is the Best tactic to employ.
Try and listen to music you enjoy, listen to empowering videos like these are all good ways to take your thoughts away from the pain they've caused or are still causing you. It's definitely like we are in a war and we need to have strategies ! 🌹🙏
Thank you so much for this video, I just discarded a narcistic person, i loved dearly. Its like a rebirth out of hell