... ... Exactly, Woody. What we see here is unprecedented. I have never seen a reporter not hold his ear for a couple of seconds before responding. We will see how this satire unfolds. Back to you. ...
"In our desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming, here's a report of this fairly common thing". This right here is so accurate to how news actually works. I love it!
It's like they used a time machine to see the bullshit that happened this week. Or the bullshit next Tuesday. Some big bullshit is about to happen next Tuesday.
Like sex, news sells. And being interviewed on the news, I can say that the mob of news presenters gathered around me like a prized meal, as their microphones flailed like daggers to fend off their rival.
Next in news is the tv talking directly to you or is it all in your head lol and after that lets see how much the news can say and people will believe lol
Too many kids on TV being violent or receiving violence in reality, to be at home watching other violence. They are all out there doing it or falling prey to it. The impressive University headed piece of paper said so! No one watches TV anymore anyway. Take it from me. I'm an older man. These kids will only be believable if/when they eventually achieve the status of being either an attractive witness. Or an older man. Or by wearing a special uniform while in a group of others wearing different special uniforms with at least 2 attractive witnesses and five older men, two of whom must wear either Kiwanis, Masonic symbols or US service medals. Only then, and only if , reported by an attractive (one in hundred thousand in terms of good looks) News reporter dressed in either black and white cotton or mid Navy blue corporate satin. She must also be either an immaculate snappy Asian lady with very strong opinions about decaffeinated coffee, or a very glamorously chic & toned black woman into extreme yoga and mindfulness. If neither an absolutely cruel looking platinum blonde given to outrageous statements about vulnerable people who earn 5% at most of what she does- wiill suffice! Possibly Fake news unless reporter intends to become one of those ( Unless he is actually a transitioning older male reporter of indeterminate looks working for The Onion ) Believe it or not!
It really is The Onion's #1 video piece. It's just absolute perfection. There's lots of funny Onion videos, but this one is the granddaddy for it's eternal relevance. It actually can't ever be topped if you think about it, because it too aptly summarizes the entire concept of news satire.
Without a doubt this is one of the best and most accurate Onion videos. 95% of the news is basically this. Stupid shit that doesn't matter that they cover to fill air time.
And that is actually exactly what they are getting paid to do. Find some bs to fill air time... until they get a directional note to report on something or some pushed down agenda from the higher ups, trying to control a certain narrative within the public, and in between those narratives you get some random bs that the reporters get paid to find to fill air time...
"Let us know if there are any updates on this bullshit story from there." "There's no way there will be." "Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway."
And I came here to comment that I'm offended by the overly pedantic and stupid fucking bullshit here that other commenters said which are clearly microaggressions against people whose comments hold no value kind of like mi- oh wait
"Some say it's because of one fucking reason, others say it's because of some other fucking reason." It's hard to pick a best line in this, but for me it's this one.
"Residents in this neighborhood were shocked to see this fairly common thing happening. An attractive witness described the event in breathless terms."
Best thing might be the scrolling stories on the bottom: "Billion dollar military contract awarded to Nerf" "porno better than real movie it was based on"
This is one of the most brilliant things I've ever seen. I want to hug whoever wrote this absolute gold, and all the people who flawlessly delivered their lines.
D. Ramirez “Holy shit. Man Lands on the fucking Moon” That was the newspaper headline stapled above a cash register in ATL. I was a regular patron and learned about TO. Great times
No... For real.. The news in my area literally ran a story about a bear running around the neighborhood and it was almost exactly like this... I had to show my dad this afterwards because he was getting mad at how i was laughing and couldn't coherently explain why.
I recently retired after 40 years as a TV Director. The last 35 years I directed live, local TV newscasts (Eyewitness News at 4, 5, 6, 9, 10). This is SO well done. It's EXACTLY what I dealt with on a daily basis. Producers sitting next to me in the control room shouting "Go to the LIVE shot. . .No wait, take the bear video. . .No, go to the guy in his front yard!' It was a circus behind the scenes, producing the results these guys made fun of so well. Not happy I'm now 68, but SO happy to be "retired" from that daily craziness.
Massa. . .Thanks. . .I'm blessed to finally be able to watch news from afar, and chuckle about knowing what's going on behind the scenes. . .The Onion nailed it!
Candice Adams. . .LOL! Oh yeah, now I'm old enough to come out from behind the camera and become a trusted "interviewee". . .Could be the start of a whole new life for me!
The whole video is that way, I love it. All the graphics and everything are just like a normal news broadcast about a bear in a residential neighborhood
My tiny town used to have a local news show. One of their clips in the opening barrage was the entire police squad burning confiscated marijuana. In an open barrel. Just standing around and staring at it. Some say, even inhaling.
Ol this bullshit is getting out of hand I played the video while looking at some comments and the video said the same line that you wrote at the same time P U R E B U L L S H I T
You know when you’re tripping and you’re like, “Whoa maybe this is how reality actually is all the time”, this is kind of like that except for the news
Isn't the weather just entertainment since they're mostly wrong anyway and you can't sue them or anything because they're just probably right about an area further away from you and whether it is raining or sprinkling is pretty subjective anyway in an argument between two or three little kids which ended with one boy crying over being poked in the heart, which he seemed far more upset about than even getting poked in his eye? And their early reference to higher authority in referencing their own mothers, because, of course, mothers know everything and they are always right, because that's what they tell their kids to believe, isn't it?
One of the many, many comedic dimensions to this gem is the succinct analysis of the letter writers and the translation of their words into the type of person they are. "I get mad about every bullshit thing I see."
“Now here’s some footage of congress” Bro, I’ll be watching the news and it feels like they just put footage of the senate or congress on TV for no reason sometimes
@@ignis_infinitus_infernus When we return we'll look at live footage of a news outlet cutting to a view of congress, and free-associate about what's going on.
I have a feeling that they add so much cursing to make it a surely obvious joke - cuz otherwise it’d be way too convincing even with the lines as they are
There are only so many Doritos and not enough water. They have to buy those valuable resources before they run out. Like my hair products. Let's go live, to the checkout counter. Hey, Steve. There seems to be a very cold man ahead of our stoner rock people trying to gather paper to burn for warmth. Let's watch in amusement as he pistol whips a teenager who really shouldn't be working this shift at this hour. Ooo, I really can't say whose job out of our three sucks more, Steve. My tone means I'm trying to convince you I'm a good person even though I laughed, Eric. When he gets up, ask him if his bleeding means he's injured. Let's go back to Heather with her big tits so we can be rained on in two days. Thanks, Steve. I'm really horny from people staring today, but here's this green map. There are not actually that many trees but we didn't color it anything else so we could use the color to subliminally make people not move away from this strong feeling of dedication to irrational causes and general isolation of individuals. My clothes cost so much that I'm skipping the next two days of work because I'll have nothing to wear. Try to listen to what I'm saying just before I banter with you so we aren't both fired. Pedro, hide from the camera, the trash doesn't walk. Oh shit, the herd of immigrants we filmed detained earlier includes his wife of twenty years.
It’d be more accurate if it left viewers seething in rage from an editorialized narrative, spun with the explicit purpose of politically galvanizing the fearful populace into one of two radicalized camps.
Binging now. ...beacause at leaste this b.s is fictional bs..hence not sad b.s ty onion ..though some of these are seriously just a bunch of fing b.s ..and creepy b.s at that. Maybey we need b.s or are getting b.s whether we want it..or not What a bunch of bullshit
@@alvallac2171 glad to know you could figure out what I said. Next time I will get out the thesorus or is it spelled someways or some way else. I am sure nobody could figure out wut I is sayin without u. Surry for all the Grammer mistakes I am the idiut not u'$.
I just get depressed with real news. But NPR ain't so bad. To me at least. Still kinda bums out with how bad things are going across the world but its just reality
01:38 "Well thank you chief. Let us know if there are any updates from this bullshit story from there" "There's no way there will be" "Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway" 🤣
I did and I can confirm that it feels like any real news. I could lip-read some of the funny shit that was said, however, which broke the illusion, albeit momentarily.
My favorite Onion headline: "pharmaceutical industry creates drug to alleviate mistrust of pharmaceutical industry"
LOL I'm sure they would if they could!
My favorite is “NASA frantically announces mission to Earth’s core after accidentally launching rocket upside down”
A commenter omg thats so funny I cant stop
My favorite is "McDonalds Now Handling Welfare"
Government Quietly Raising Speed Limits Near Schools With Low Test Scores
14 years later, and some bullshit is *still* going on somewhere. Unbelievable.
No, we have bullshit going on everywhere now. It WAS on the rise and continues to be. xD
i come back every few years because bullshit like this is important to me
Bullshit like this STILL makes me angry! I'll never stop getting upset about every bullshit thing I see!
@andristic he's an old man, so you can trust him 😂 -2024
“Let us know if there are any updates on this bullshit story from there.”
“There is no way there will be.”
the only inaccuracy is how quickly the reporter responds
...
...
Exactly, Woody. What we see here is unprecedented. I have never seen a reporter not hold his ear for a couple of seconds before responding. We will see how this satire unfolds. Back to you.
...
accuracy is only in the eyes of the beholder
Yeees
Yeah.... need the 5 second blank stare 😂
No you're wrong.. Didn't you hear they use very expensive technology
"In our desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming, here's a report of this fairly common thing". This right here is so accurate to how news actually works. I love it!
Oh, yes!
“I’m an older man, so you can trust what I say!”
Very nice of the free citizens of the very free US of A to share all their free BS with countries around the world 🥳
@@_jpg and where do you live, honey?
@@BorisBoris-sl1sf Obviously in the land flowing with milk and honey, sugar 😘
"Authorities in special uniforms rushed to the scene to stand around while our cameras filmed them" hahaha
One of the guys looked like a mailman
LOLLLLLLL
so many one liners that are "pee in your pants worthy" .... can't pick a favorite ... this comment section is on fire...
I think that it’s so cool that you, and millions of other people, have the ability to quote things that you see. Seriously tho, how do you it?!??!!
@@nfrench2100 it's a special skill, shame you don't possess it
Glen: "And here's some footage of congress."
Keith: "Yes I see that."
LOL
this is the first time yi changed
n999 to the full n-thousand
😂 I love how they just randomly stuck that in there in the middle of all the talk about bullshit. No lead in or lead out. It’s just there.
That was when I lost it. 😂
@@PotawatomiThunderNew Aphorisms!!! Aphorisms!!! XDXDXD
Socially Awkward Introvert 😅
"I'm just some fucking guy" is the best line ever concieved
And it relates today
in the end everyone is just some fucking guy. beautiful
It's not just the line, it's the timing, the delivery, it's everything. These people are geniuses
It's like they used a time machine to see the bullshit that happened this week. Or the bullshit next Tuesday. Some big bullshit is about to happen next Tuesday.
Why reporters don't use this as an outro?
This is hillarious.
“This bullshit has some broader implications.”
Every essay or paper I’ve ever written
😂
I am unable to can
Lol
The Peloponnesians was my term paper. Also very short.
Perfect😂
This video has aged well.
Like a fine wine
@@Demi.d3mi Like J̶o̶s̶e̶p̶h̶ ̶J̶o̶e̶s̶t̶a̶r̶
True
@@ginoyesano5649 I love you.
It's really great writing that makes it still seem like a spot on parody of cable news channels
This is, without exaggerating, exactly how my brain perceives the news.
I haven’t watch the news for the last two years because the spin makes me want to puke.
That's because you're actually paying attention... it wasn't meant for you. XD
Because that’s literally all the news is today.
Same and I don't live in America.
Omg same! I'm glad i'm not alone
"And here's some footage of Congress."
"Yes, I see that."
Kills me every time
What are you,cat?
No, congress can only kill you once
If only Congress were just BS; instead it's war crazed Democrats and fascistic Republicans.
All getting wealthy in the process.
60% of the time, it works every time.
How many times can you be “killed”? Such a dumb comment
1:46 “I’m just some fucking guy.” The humility and confidence of that sentence! 😆
the duality of man
It gets me every fucking time. It's the main fucking reason I keep coming back.
Truer words may have never been spoken…
@@theystoleitfromus same
😂 aren't we all just some fuckin guys?
"I get mad about every bullshit thing I see." More true now than ever.
I was like 667
yous gon git dem cheeks took my nigga I am mad at this bullshit as you can tell by the lack of bullshit put at the end of my sentences
This is actually so close to reality that I only laughed at half of the video.
@@Haihatu bend down
yous gon git dem cheeks took my nigga nice name
"Now, in a desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming..."
*TRUTH*
that's it in a nutshell.
@Max ahh, that profile pic
Seriously. Every show on 24/7 news channels should be required to recite that statement at the beginning of their shows.
Seems the Onion's more credible than real news, lol
"We now digress from this humanitarian crisis to a story about an Iowa woman who trained a squirrel to waterski."
After 30-years in the "news" business, I can truthfully say this is the fundamental subtext beneath every story I've ever reported.
Appreciate the honesty
abbyblack100 what's the subtext here?
Like sex, news sells. And being interviewed on the news, I can say that the mob of news presenters gathered around me like a prized meal, as their microphones flailed like daggers to fend off their rival.
Eyy 420 likes
@@picklehead9541 Now 666. This is some cursed shit.
"Yes, I see that."
"Report: kids now too lazy to imitate TV violence"
More and more kids these days are washing themselves with a wet rag on a stick while watching TV. It's just getting worse. SMH
Next in news is the tv talking directly to you or is it all in your head lol and after that lets see how much the news can say and people will believe lol
Too many kids on TV being violent or receiving violence in reality, to be at home watching other violence. They are all out there doing it or falling prey to it. The impressive University headed piece of paper said so!
No one watches TV anymore anyway. Take it from me. I'm an older man. These kids will only be believable if/when they eventually achieve the status of being either an attractive witness. Or an older man. Or by wearing a special uniform while in a group of others wearing different special uniforms with at least 2 attractive witnesses and five older men, two of whom must wear either Kiwanis, Masonic symbols or US service medals.
Only then, and only if , reported by an attractive (one in hundred thousand in terms of good looks) News reporter dressed in either black and white cotton or mid Navy blue corporate satin.
She must also be either an immaculate snappy Asian lady with very strong opinions about decaffeinated coffee, or a very glamorously chic & toned black woman into extreme yoga and mindfulness.
If neither an absolutely cruel looking platinum blonde given to outrageous statements about vulnerable people who earn 5% at most of what she does- wiill suffice!
Possibly Fake news unless reporter intends to become one of those ( Unless he is actually a transitioning older male reporter of indeterminate looks working for The Onion ) Believe it or not!
Lemme smash
hi
"Im an old man, so you can trust what I say" 😂😂
9 year old video, those were the good old days when you could trust what an old man said.
Well, I'm an old man and I'm full of bullshit.
😂
@@davidholman48 Same here, except in my case it's actual shit because I'm constipated.
Every dad, everywhere, all the time.
This is some of the greatest news satire ever written.
It really is The Onion's #1 video piece. It's just absolute perfection. There's lots of funny Onion videos, but this one is the granddaddy for it's eternal relevance. It actually can't ever be topped if you think about it, because it too aptly summarizes the entire concept of news satire.
LMAO for sure!
@@ObscuredByTime i like the "stupid piece of shit that doesnt fucking work" lol it still gets me laughing to this day
@@ObscuredByTime *its (possessive)
it's = contraction of "it is/has"
@Patrick Ancona *except
Without a doubt this is one of the best and most accurate Onion videos. 95% of the news is basically this. Stupid shit that doesn't matter that they cover to fill air time.
On the whole, I'd rather that than what we get on UK news - which is repeats ad nauseam of the same five or ten reports, several times an hour.
And that is actually exactly what they are getting paid to do. Find some bs to fill air time... until they get a directional note to report on something or some pushed down agenda from the higher ups, trying to control a certain narrative within the public, and in between those narratives you get some random bs that the reporters get paid to find to fill air time...
"Let us know if there are any updates on this bullshit story from there."
"There's no way there will be."
"Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway."
I'm just some fucking guy
Lmfao
I heard that part as well.
The older guy omg..
"I'm older so you can trust what I say" oh onion wtf!!
"when we return, we'll look at live footage of a car chase taken from a helicopter"
"I once saw some stuff kind of like the shit you're talking about happen. I have nothing more to add."
Gold.
I have a comment of no additional substance to use as a reply to your comment that simply directly quoted the video. And here it is.
I came here to add something pedantic because I want to feel involved.
I'm also in this thread because fuck you
And I came here to comment that I'm offended by the overly pedantic and stupid fucking bullshit here that other commenters said which are clearly microaggressions against people whose comments hold no value kind of like mi- oh wait
I am inserting my opinion in a desperate attempt to not feel dead on the inside
"Some say it's because of one fucking reason, others say it's because of some other fucking reason." It's hard to pick a best line in this, but for me it's this one.
Basically every paper i've ever written
agree
This is the one!!
Whatever, you're just some fucking guy.
"Residents in this neighborhood were shocked to see this fairly common thing happening. An attractive witness described the event in breathless terms."
“there’s no way there will be” underrated
"I'm just some f%cking guy"
Johan F. Wahlberg Thats my self esteem right there
That was definitely my favorite bit right then
He said it with such a crushed spirit. Very relatable
Hey bud you can swear on the internet. i promise its ok
He said it cause this is what bulshit on scene reporters end their report with. They say their name and the broadcast switches to studio.
Happy 10th anniversary to this all-time classic.
Fuck you
@@WakaWaka2468 Ok, cool, thanks.
it took 10 years for me to watch this classic, but Im happy Ive seen this :D
@Poltibaz Prime I'm sorry?
@@Jogwheel 😂
“I’m an older man so you can trust what I say”
LMAO
*ignores comment*
"@@ultraaatf _will remember that"_
@@ultraaatf Are you ok bro? You look like you're having a stroke over there.
Ultraft i'm officially done with humanity y'all
Ultraft I bet you’re rly fun to hang out with...
rip veonnj 😭
You’ve just described 90% of Australian “news” broadcasts. Loved your video
Gotta Love Murdoch slop
This is the only news source I trust.
I agree. The Onion is remarkably unbiased and it's the only trustworthy news source in this day and age.
Yeah because they don't lie, allways telling the truth
"I'm an older man, so u can trust me"
I know cnn fully made of bull shit, but why don't we try to trust it once
Evan Tazeris Same with Faux news. Even more bullshit.
"i'm just some f***ing guy" 😂
It's the best part
Story of my life
That’s my favorite part too🤣
Laughed just as hard at this line the second time I watched it
😂 best line.
13 years later, and I long for this level of bullshit today
1:39 "Let us know if there are any updates on this story..."
"There's no way there will be."
"Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway".
I'm just some fucking guy.
NZSSGEC General Secretary basically cnn
that's my favorite part
Sadly, the satire of The Onion is regularly outdone by actual news on a daily basis.
and vox, and bussfeed
All of'em are garbage
navid soleimani Agreed
All of them
@@aoterou Umm, actually, Fox can't be bullshit, because they aren't left-wing.
@@individualsituation6003 Please tell me you're being sarcastic
Best thing might be the scrolling stories on the bottom:
"Billion dollar military contract awarded to Nerf"
"porno better than real movie it was based on"
They predicted Captain Marvel!
And The Last Jedi
The porno one made me laugh out loud!
Joy...same here!! 😂😂😂
"Obama to conduct traditional St. Patrick's Day pardoning of an Irishman" had me cackling.
This is, without question, one of the greatest videos of all time.
This is one of the most brilliant things I've ever seen. I want to hug whoever wrote this absolute gold, and all the people who flawlessly delivered their lines.
i can see it by the size of the bullshit you just typed
Amazing bullshit comment -with unnoticed sarcastic underlined tones. Fuck your bullshit translation get big Mad by this bullshit about your bullshit
CNN
@@greghemlock6679 that's bullshit
@@greghemlock6679 stop bullshitting
The best part about this is how quickly they move on from the “tips” slide. Every single news station expects you to read that slide in 2 seconds.
Your local junior college might have some remedial reading courses to help you.
Idk about you but I was able to read it
It hides the bullshit
If you’re seeing the slide for the first time your brain isn’t expecting to have to read everything in so short a time.
@@KamalasNotLikeUsBro is the kid who "read" books in one day and couldn't recite a single thing from them
_I spent my entire life attending the nations most prestigious schools to talk about bullshit like this. I'm really just happy to be on TV_
When he said that, I felt that deep in my soul.
@J Ygb what?
@J Ygb oh lmao
My fav line. 😂😂😂 So true.
😂😂😂😂
They left out the end part where they call on three well-known experts who'll tell us how we should feel about this bullshit.
The onion was WAY ahead of their time.
D. Ramirez “Holy shit. Man Lands on the fucking Moon”
That was the newspaper headline stapled above a cash register in ATL.
I was a regular patron and learned about TO. Great times
No they were very much of their time. It's just the bullshit has got worse, in spite of the warnings.
No... For real.. The news in my area literally ran a story about a bear running around the neighborhood and it was almost exactly like this... I had to show my dad this afterwards because he was getting mad at how i was laughing and couldn't coherently explain why.
@@monk469 uhhhhhh right?
I wonder where they went.
“Nation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research”
I guess those geologists are a bunch of *Stoners*
Nice
Oh no
Ba dum tss
Sigh
English isnt my first language so i appreciate the explanation, completely missed it lol.
I recently retired after 40 years as a TV Director. The last 35 years I directed live, local TV newscasts (Eyewitness News at 4, 5, 6, 9, 10). This is SO well done. It's EXACTLY what I dealt with on a daily basis. Producers sitting next to me in the control room shouting "Go to the LIVE shot. . .No wait, take the bear video. . .No, go to the guy in his front yard!' It was a circus behind the scenes, producing the results these guys made fun of so well. Not happy I'm now 68, but SO happy to be "retired" from that daily craziness.
BluesImprov
Haha God bless
You're an older person so I trust what you're saying.
Massa. . .Thanks. . .I'm blessed to finally be able to watch news from afar, and chuckle about knowing what's going on behind the scenes. . .The Onion nailed it!
Candice Adams. . .LOL! Oh yeah, now I'm old enough to come out from behind the camera and become a trusted "interviewee". . .Could be the start of a whole new life for me!
Older people in the TH-cam comment section are always so wholesome. Have a great day, sir!
TH-cam's algorithms have an uncanny way of zeroing in on my deep-rooted cynicism. This is gold.
real this is fucking bullshit
Amen - this is PERFECTION.
"I'm just some f*cking guy" 🤣😂😂🤣😂😂😂🤣😂😂
Super Slaying Goku I’m mast happy to be on tv
Amen
Stop saying amen
@ Stop telling people what they can & cannot say... now that's some BULLSHIT.
"I'm am older man so you can trust what i say" is way funnier than it needs to be. every line is just gold 😆
Yeah that one just had me!
they actually just quoted Biden without proper reference to POTUS
@@beastybacon199 Why not? The Simpsons actually predicted Donald Trump's presidency back in 2000
@@megaotstoy Not to mention Hot Shots! 2 predicting Biden (and Bush) 30 years ago.
@@megaotstoyDidn't Trump run for the presidency in 2000 in the Reform party?
I love that the actual notes written in were about the bear but the anchor is still just calling it bs
I mean, it is bullshit.
@@frederickoftheartic2209 if youve ever seen a bear in person, it really is some serious bullshit. especially when they try to take your shit.
The whole video is that way, I love it. All the graphics and everything are just like a normal news broadcast about a bear in a residential neighborhood
I know. I love the attention to detail!
You could change the voiceover and it would seem like a regular news report
This is gold. Bring back the golden content its been far far toooo longgggg
“Authorities in special uniforms rushed to the scene to stand around while our cameras filmed them.”
That’s the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard.
That’s my favorite line. I heard it right before I read your comment. 🤣🤣
My tiny town used to have a local news show. One of their clips in the opening barrage was the entire police squad burning confiscated marijuana. In an open barrel. Just standing around and staring at it. Some say, even inhaling.
Always have to get credit, even when doing nothing.
Ol this bullshit is getting out of hand
I played the video while looking at some comments and the video said the same line that you wrote at the same time
P U R E B U L L S H I T
That’s why we pay taxes. 😅
I'm so glad TH-cam recommended this to me after 9 years. This bullshit was funny.
Stop bullshitting
Its bullshit like this that had me laffin my arss right to the floor! Lol, luv that bullshit! Lol
I suppose there's a reason why TH-cam recommends it for me too. Must be all the bullshit going on.
Cyb3r A1i3n What was your fucking reason for saying this? Explain your opinion on this bullshit.
I too enjoy bullshit like this to distract from other, worse bullshit
The onion is just cable news unfiltered
You know when you’re tripping and you’re like, “Whoa maybe this is how reality actually is all the time”, this is kind of like that except for the news
This clip is more resembling the Network news in that Network news is more Bowlshet.
this is way more like local news lol
This never ages. It’s still spot on. Nothing changes. There’s still bullshit happening right now near you.
I felt so relieved when they brought on the random expert.
Especially since he indicated that he went to school for that shit too. Much needed these days.
He just wanted to be on tv
This applies to everything. Literally everything. Everything.
Applies to 🎶Oooooooh muh corona🎶 too
Some of the Corona is bullshit, some of the Corona isn’t bullshit, either way stay in your fucking house or humanity’s going to die.
Woosh if gay sounds like bullshit!
Does it apply to apples?
the saiyan’s fates, my fate, kakarot’s fate and your fate, THIS WILL CHANGE EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!
"porn better than movie it was based on"
Lol each one of those is gold and they just cram it on the downline like it was nothing.
Each one of those lines is a different shade of gray-t😏
It's how they make people watch their videos at least twice and still can come back years later.
0:47
14 years ago, The Onion predicted the 2024 election.
"And here's some footage of Congress"
"Yes I see that" LMAOOO
And here's some footage of Congress... haha
That killed me :)
Yes I see that.
beautiful. a work of art.
Interesting channel, how's it going man?
@@HaxxorElite not bad, you?
@@ayycardinal6802???
@@HaxxorElite hi
The essence of 24-hour news. Bravo!
I love that they straight-up say "lets see if we can drag this out with some shit some ppl say on the internet"
That part went over a good number of heads... LOL
This is literally how I view most news that isn’t weather related.
But weather channels have an awful pro weather bias.
zosko1- lol
Even the weather people gin up hysteria for clicks and add revenue. They're as bad as the rest of them.
@@booberry6715 Back in the old days TLC had educational programs, MTV played music videos and TWC told us about weather. Now its all just bullshit
Isn't the weather just entertainment since they're mostly wrong anyway and you can't sue them or anything because they're just probably right about an area further away from you and whether it is raining or sprinkling is pretty subjective anyway in an argument between two or three little kids which ended with one boy crying over being poked in the heart, which he seemed far more upset about than even getting poked in his eye? And their early reference to higher authority in referencing their own mothers, because, of course, mothers know everything and they are always right, because that's what they tell their kids to believe, isn't it?
Thanks, TH-cam. I needed this bullshit 9 years after it was posted
Edit: holy shit when did I get 5k aight
@Fernando Perez This bullshit has aged well! 😂
I have seen this 10 years ago.
It's because some bullshit is trending right now.
Fernando Perez shocked by a fairly common thing happening
This is a gem, TH-cam was better 9 yrs ago!
I miss these, I wish they still made them. The Future News was the absolute best.
This is pure gold. One of the best things that i've see on the internet.
One of the many, many comedic dimensions to this gem is the succinct analysis of the letter writers and the translation of their words into the type of person they are. "I get mad about every bullshit thing I see."
This video is clever on so many levels, and I also was impressed by that line. I have nothing more to add.
@@SetTheCurve I also felt a way about a thing that was mentioned and have nothing more to add, but is the type of person to respond anyway.
As a person with nothing more to add, I'll just give my bs opinion about the current bs that is being talked about
@@SetTheCurveas a tribute to this gem I have been known to drop that line into conversation myself when pontificating about bullshit.
@@satansbarmanI don't have anything to add either but I'm convinced my bullshit opinion needs to be heard
I like how the reporter doesn't even read the emails at the end lol
TigerofGermany That was interpretive reading. Just like the rest of the story.
Ozone shutup
@Ozone go back to reddit
Ozone turn off your computer.
@Ozone Better go back to training, since that "woooosh" was entirely on you...
One of the best onions, brings tears
“Now here’s some footage of congress”
Bro, I’ll be watching the news and it feels like they just put footage of the senate or congress on TV for no reason sometimes
They do that so when they put the video on TH-cam from TV they can have the tag politics......
Maybe.....I'm just some fucking guy.
Its called juxtaposition
@@ignis_infinitus_infernus When we return we'll look at live footage of a news outlet cutting to a view of congress, and free-associate about what's going on.
@@ignis_infinitus_infernus You think their video will get taken down if they don’t have footage of Congress but has the politics tag?
"Military awards billion-dollar indoor weapons contract to Nerf"
This is Great.
That's when they developed the Nerf Nuke
It’s nerf or nothin
"I'm just happy to be on TV." LOL
Wow, 14 years later and the BS keeps happening!
As a former TV news reporter of 10 years, I can confirm this is exactly how the industry operates.
That's some bullshit!
You’re just some fucking guy
As a man who was raised by bears, I agree.
You’re just some fucking guy.
As a watcher of news, i agree
"We'll check back with in a hour anyways"
"I'm just some fuckig guy"
Canadianvoice 😂😂😂
My favourite line
@@colummccrudden101 exactly was I was going to say.
"And here's some footage of Congress!"
"Yes I see that"
This is so accurate it could literally act as a template for a news teleprompter script
I have a feeling that they add so much cursing to make it a surely obvious joke - cuz otherwise it’d be way too convincing even with the lines as they are
bvitytwrbq I wish they didn’t though...
Oh, yes. I had thought it was real before I seen "some cops doing nothing".
They don't usually do so tho
Wdym this vid is straight from tv
😂 great point
I'm just some fucking guy.
Swap 'some' and 'fucking' for interesting results
+Stewart MacKinnon Cool.
I'm just some guy fucking some....
"Nation's geologists demand more money for marijuana research"
Now that is a news story I want to see
ProClifo that's exactly what I'm saying, lol geologists studying weed
I mean, they are stoners
ProClifo holy shit. What are the odds that I found a JV member here!
Randy from South Park after weed became legal in Colorado
There are only so many Doritos and not enough water. They have to buy those valuable resources before they run out. Like my hair products. Let's go live, to the checkout counter. Hey, Steve. There seems to be a very cold man ahead of our stoner rock people trying to gather paper to burn for warmth. Let's watch in amusement as he pistol whips a teenager who really shouldn't be working this shift at this hour. Ooo, I really can't say whose job out of our three sucks more, Steve. My tone means I'm trying to convince you I'm a good person even though I laughed, Eric. When he gets up, ask him if his bleeding means he's injured. Let's go back to Heather with her big tits so we can be rained on in two days. Thanks, Steve. I'm really horny from people staring today, but here's this green map. There are not actually that many trees but we didn't color it anything else so we could use the color to subliminally make people not move away from this strong feeling of dedication to irrational causes and general isolation of individuals. My clothes cost so much that I'm skipping the next two days of work because I'll have nothing to wear. Try to listen to what I'm saying just before I banter with you so we aren't both fired. Pedro, hide from the camera, the trash doesn't walk. Oh shit, the herd of immigrants we filmed detained earlier includes his wife of twenty years.
i am old enough to remember the times when we did not have 24 hr news channels. Believe me, now it is less news and more noise.
This is truly ageless, I bet in 10 years this video will still be accurate to what the news is.
It's accutate now.
It’d be more accurate if it left viewers seething in rage from an editorialized narrative, spun with the explicit purpose of politically galvanizing the fearful populace into one of two radicalized camps.
@@kwhylandspot on!
It's extremely accurate now.
"now"... not sure what part of "ageless" was hard to comprehend but here we are.
“And here’s some footage of Congress” 👏🏻
Yes, I see that.
Nobody cares, but my teacher showed this to our class as part of a Mass Media (&media literacy) course 1106, I love it.
Some people care
I care Mr. 4 Year Old comment person.
Learning's fun.
👌
@@mr.benedict7671 I care too. Let's all show neglected dead posts that we care about them.
“I’m just some fucking guy” is still a brilliant line all these years later as the bullshit continues
I used to binge watch these Onion News videos constantly back in college haha
Now I'm binge-watching them in my 40's!
exactly my situation right now
@@XboxGamersAndMore same
Binging now. ...beacause at leaste this b.s is fictional bs..hence not sad b.s ty onion ..though some of these are seriously just a bunch of fing b.s ..and creepy b.s at that. Maybey we need b.s or are getting b.s whether we want it..or not
What a bunch of bullshit
Lol
I keep coming back here every few months, this is pure art and I love it.
Bullshit you come back here every month😝
and I am writing a regular comment to you
Yep
Your profile pic is too funny
0:29 "I'm an older man, so you can trust what I say!" LMAO!!
I love how the concept of a bear running around is bullshit lol
"I talked to this random expert who told me about things you are going hear him say right after he points to a piece of paper"
“We’ll check back with you in an hour anyway”
“I’m just some fucking guy”
This is the news I want to see on TV
The onion is what I use to watch for a laugh to get away from the "real" news. Now I just watch "real" news and laugh.
*used to (past tense)
@@alvallac2171 glad to know you could figure out what I said. Next time I will get out the thesorus or is it spelled someways or some way else. I am sure nobody could figure out wut I is sayin without u. Surry for all the Grammer mistakes I am the idiut not u'$.
*what I am saying(bad enlish)
Dustin Nukem
They just corrected your spelling, why are you offended??
I just get depressed with real news.
But NPR ain't so bad. To me at least. Still kinda bums out with how bad things are going across the world but its just reality
01:38 "Well thank you chief. Let us know if there are any updates from this bullshit story from there"
"There's no way there will be"
"Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway"
🤣
this is a very accurate representation of todays news.
*today's (possessive, not plural)
@@alvallac2171 thank you
@@alvallac2171 You must be fun at party's.
@Dehydrated Water ...
That's the joke
I really wish the Onion's news was real, this world would be so much more interesting
.
+austin angler It is real. What kind of a bullshit question is that?
.
+austin angler thats great idea, they need to go online 24/7 :D
lmfao you ain't lying!
Everything is perfectly worded and perfectly executed. Timeless classic.
“Here are some pictures of congress “
“Yeah I see that “
Somehow caught me off guard
"Some say its because of one fucking reason. Others say its because of some other fucking reason" ....hahahahaha
One is the search for food,,, the other is over Construction, encroachment upon their domain
Dondrey Taylor "we have a colored graph that shows the rise of bullshit like this happening,"
"I'm an older man, so you can trust what I say"
-Walder Frey
"...joins us now live from the scene of the bullshit through the use of expensive technology." hahaha
Green screen
oh man his delivery of "I'm just some fucking guy" at 1:45 killed me
Watch this without audio and you wouldn't question reality
I did and I can confirm that it feels like any real news. I could lip-read some of the funny shit that was said, however, which broke the illusion, albeit momentarily.
underrated comment ;p
You're right, except then I noticed the ridiculous stories on the bottom feed 😂