The acting in this is insane. His face after he said “I’m fucking your wife!” You can see it all happening. The awkwardness, the laugh, the unsure smile and the quick change of subject it’s actually perfect
@@poknberry5795 I'm not entirely sure but I think the golfer was fucking the other guys wife. Really hard to tell though. I'll ask his wife later after I fuck her just to be sure.
@wnc817 Not sure that's correct. Seemed more a joke about people on intensive diets who try to lose 20kg in a month. As long as you're eating an adequate amount of calories, the vegan diet is no worse for bone density than any other - it's very easy to get enough calcium, protein etc. Starving yourself to lose weight is what can damage your bones.
@wnc817 Surely omnivore merely means we can eat both plant and animal matter, not that we *need* both. Supplementing B12 is incredibly easy (I think something like 40% of the US population is B12 deficient; and indeed much livestock is given injections with it). The American Dietetic Association and the NHS both agree that vegan diets are nutritionally fine, so I'd rather trust them tbh
Not sure why nobody replies to some top comments. The comment above yours literally has 355 replies and 43k likes. So basically, over 50 THOUSAND people, maybe over 100 thousand even, have seen your comment, and not a single person decided to leave a reply. Truly strange anomalies. Edit: cry more guys.
Hahahahaha ikr.. the other dude is still talking about the show. But the cameraman stuck on him like wait a minute, I think he seriously fuckin his wife!
I'm surprised most of the people didn't catch that he was banging his wife lol that's why he said "I am f^#$# your wife" 😅..... still looking in the comments.
Levonte Jones III I started watching weekly in 2010 and it was already pretty bad there. Like awfully bad. the 2016/2017 season was pretty good (comparatively) - Kate McKinnon is the best thing on the show. everything else is crap :///
I kinda knew by the way the Golf Pro kept exclaiming it at the end he was doing it to Jim, but after rewatching the beginning where Jim says they're best friends and the Golf Pro hints "it could be a coworker or even a best friend" it sealed it for me 😂😂😭😭💀
I wouldn't have seen it coming, except that I just watched the one about getting revenge on the guy who cut you off in traffic and it turned out the host had done and just ate some of his 'muffins'. Apart from that I'm not too bright.
@@Grgrqr , fear Shall consume you, like I consumed the mayonaise after it transformed into a humungous, violent monster, that resembled my friend's sister that I was hitting on
@MrPariah If you haven't seen it yet and wanna watch it, try not to read the comments until the end Here's the playlist: th-cam.com/play/PL4NL9i-Fu15jdlr2KQf_lyhXl5f0PFnzF.html
Funny story: I watched that series while drinking Pepsi, and by the last episode... Let's just say I can't bring myself to drink pepsi ever again because of the ptsd the taste gives me.
You don't gain anything by saying, "hey, I'm fucking your wife," though. It just increases the odds of you end up being murdered. Instead, you do better by avoiding the topic as much as possible, and, if not possible, try to divert to a fake "me too" thing, on suspicions on how your own wife or girlfriend may having an affair, or yet, how she actually had once, but then everything got sorted out and you're happy together, saying that ironically being cuckolded was sort of a growing experience as it taught you how to have a better relationship, as a warning sign of neglect and so forth, and maybe some zen hippie stuff on how being physically possessive of a partner is something we all must overcome for our own good but even for the relationship, and so forth.
@@ikagura basically he said avoid joking about fucking someone's wife. If you can't avoid the topic of having an affair then turn it into a "Oh I can relate to that" situation and make some kind of moral lesson out of it lol.
What I really like about the writing in this one is the way that they characterized the golf pro. I felt like he keeps banging other men's wives expecting it to bring him some fulfillment, some feeling of conquest and superiority. But in the end it feels just as empty and meaningless as everything else he does. So he escalates to flaunting the banging of their wives in front of the husband and it still doesn't give him a twinge of feeling so now it's more of a panicked reaction to have affairs' because he doesn't know how to escalate it further as he is frantically trying to stave off the existential dread that nothing will ever bring his power fantasies to fruition and he is doomed to constantly live with the feeling of being unsatisfied and purposeless, but lacks the necessary inner-reflection to divert course. So he just mindlessly rushes headlong down the only path he sees, while being vaguely aware that he is powerless over this feeling and the real impotency is his ability to achieve any sort of life fulfilling sense of meaning.
@@alfredschnozzenstein1657 it's details like these that keep the Onion as a trustworthy source of information - they truly know what they're talking about!
"Don't call his wife by name, act like you barely even remember her" "that'll probably be the case in a couple weeks anyway" *both laugh* Man I fucking lost my shit 😫😂🤣😭
I wish they would, but I don't think they can afford to make these types of expensive sets videos again. The PC police and the new hyper sensitive generation don't take kindly to humor.
Reminds me of an old joke: Two ministers are playing golf. The first says, "You know, before I was married, I never even slept with my wife. What about you?" The second thinks for a second and answers, "I don't know... But tell me, what was your wife's maiden name?"
the segues in this are pure genius. "Stay with us because coming up a bit later on in the show we're going to be visited by our diet expert who's going to show us how to lose weight by reducing our bone density!" "We're going to head back over to Tracy now, she's got some tips on things that ladies like to do".
There is so much comedic talent here, the way he delivers the line “sort of like you’re tip toeing out of the backdoor of a mans house” as he swings is just superbly comical. 1:07
Holy shit. I had to watch it again immediately after the first time. When he said "if its not me banging her its somebody else" really hit differently the second time around 😳
I have to be honest ... the Onion has always been ON POINT with their stuff. This is better than 99.9% of "humor" stuff on TH-cam, and it was made over a decade ago.
"my dad and I played a lot of golf... I loved my dad... and then he died" it was at this moment that I paused the video and spent a good 2-3 minutes crying while laughing harder than I have in a long time.
So funny, that! The attention to detail in Onion's videos is simply astonishing. Almost every second in them features a little nuance or subtlety that just nails common (and inherently ridiculous) human behaviour.
this gets said fairly often on here, but the onion seriously knew how to cast some amazing actors. and thats not even discussing how clever the writing is. so ahead of their time
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.8 (1/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7OwUsMs0M5s/mqdefault.jpg)
I can never get over how good the acting is in this one.
How do you know they're acting? That right there is a bold assumption you have, pal.
300th
.
.
.
The acting in this is insane. His face after he said “I’m fucking your wife!” You can see it all happening. The awkwardness, the laugh, the unsure smile and the quick change of subject it’s actually perfect
are you sure it's acting?
That wasn't scripted. The actor was giving a hint to the other actor.
@@poknberry5795 I'm not entirely sure but I think the golfer was fucking the other guys wife. Really hard to tell though. I'll ask his wife later after I fuck her just to be sure.
@@poknberry5795 are you pulling this magic behind the scenes info out of your ass or something
@@poknberry5795 "Just pretend its part of a script, and you're in a parody satire video! I'm fucking your wife!"
"lose weight by reducing your bone density"
😂😂😂
Best part.
wnc817 I thought it was a jab against people who claim they’re not fat, just big boned
@wnc817 Not sure that's correct. Seemed more a joke about people on intensive diets who try to lose 20kg in a month. As long as you're eating an adequate amount of calories, the vegan diet is no worse for bone density than any other - it's very easy to get enough calcium, protein etc.
Starving yourself to lose weight is what can damage your bones.
@wnc817 Surely omnivore merely means we can eat both plant and animal matter, not that we *need* both. Supplementing B12 is incredibly easy (I think something like 40% of the US population is B12 deficient; and indeed much livestock is given injections with it). The American Dietetic Association and the NHS both agree that vegan diets are nutritionally fine, so I'd rather trust them tbh
I'm just BIG BONEDED
The actor playing the coach should've gotten an Oscar for this.
guy needs his own tv show
@@kanegreen7731 Like how do you fish with a guy who's wife your banging? Like how do you hang out with your buddy when your fucking his girlfriend?
Who said he was acting? Muahahha!
The stare at the end. I always lose it at that point 🤣
.....NOBODY IS ACTING!...
That cold, calculating look in the golf pro's eyes at the end fucking killed me. 😂
Not sure why nobody replies to some top comments.
The comment above yours literally has 355 replies and 43k likes.
So basically, over 50 THOUSAND people, maybe over 100 thousand even, have seen your comment, and not a single person decided to leave a reply.
Truly strange anomalies.
Edit: cry more guys.
@@TechSupportDave Well I appreciate your reply. ☺
I’m replying too ;)
@@elijahbaker9999 🙏
same
The way the camera stays on the golfer in the last scene is just fucking brilliant. Whoever directed this is a genius, and the acting is PERFECT!
Hahahahaha ikr.. the other dude is still talking about the show. But the cameraman stuck on him like wait a minute, I think he seriously fuckin his wife!
That was a subtle nod to the slow viewers.
Thanks for the advice! Been needing some tips when I play against my Dad.
This comment right here 😂
@@andre_reis literally
Toast Is Good 123 woah there bucko
r/cursed_comments
@@bruh2636 r/ihavereddit
"Make it seem like you barely remember who she is . That's probably the case in a few weeks anyways , AMiRIGHT?"
Refer to her as your wife lol
I'm surprised most of the people didn't catch that he was banging his wife lol that's why he said "I am f^#$# your wife" 😅..... still looking in the comments.
@@theislamophobicprophet5718 umm that was the joke genius
@@booradely6423 Yeah but most ofcthe ppl didn't mention that ..... see the comments .... "genius". They are all talking for some othrr 'highlight'.
misspelled....it amiiright, not amiright....
These sketches are waaaay better than SNL's.
SNL went down the drain with the rise of ”woke” culture
@@raeyadmasu1590 snl has gone way down before that
capslocked When did it? I remember watching it in the late 90s and 00s, back when people could take a joke
Levonte Jones III I started watching weekly in 2010 and it was already pretty bad there. Like awfully bad. the 2016/2017 season was pretty good (comparatively) - Kate McKinnon is the best thing on the show. everything else is crap :///
Should bring Norm back onto the cast.
Great Golf tips! What I learned is, on the golf field or off, it's all in the hips.
Until you need to slash someone’s tires, then it’s all in the wrist
Chubbs was right!!
“Get off’a me”
How is this comment 4 yrs old and nobody called this guy out for calling it a "golf field" lmfao
Boston Blues wow... I guess I didn’t think anything of it, but now that you point it out it’s a like a glaring error 😄
If you start to feel guilty, its not your fault he can't satisfy his own wife..............LMMFAO
It’s his fault he can’t satisfy his wife... not mine!
Lol
Bart: I'm going to be doing this...
[windmills his arms]
If you get hit, it's your own fault.
Lolol
XDDD
When you realize that women can't keep it in their pants nowadays and you're actually just a side "husband's best mate who holds with him"
I kinda knew by the way the Golf Pro kept exclaiming it at the end he was doing it to Jim, but after rewatching the beginning where Jim says they're best friends and the Golf Pro hints "it could be a coworker or even a best friend" it sealed it for me 😂😂😭😭💀
Genius of you to figure that all out... ;)
I wouldn't have seen it coming, except that I just watched the one about getting revenge on the guy who cut you off in traffic and it turned out the host had done and just ate some of his 'muffins'. Apart from that I'm not too bright.
@@mikearchibald744 Same
I watch the onion more than the real news because it actually makes me happy, and not deeply depressed or terrified.
Hmm I never feel that when I watch the real news.
LazyStatic More truth in the Onion than the tendentious shite put out by so called "news" networks.
Thats because youre watching fake news
Lyle "Fake news" is the mantra of censors who want to shut down indy media, fake or not.
Static105 probably more accurate too ;)
"I slashed his tyres and moved on" lmao
"I flashed his daughters and moved on."
@[insert some stupid name here] i thought thats how the british spell it
@@DokuNekuon Yes, but since he is quoting an American English speaker, it should be spelled the American way.
@@JudgeDreddMegaCityOne That's not how that works. Localization doesn't consider native spelling.
Brandon Burrows so if you’re watching a Russian video and you want to quote something it should be in English?
“She has some tips on what ladies like to do.”
“Coming Up: How to Black Out Gracefully”
Reminds me of a Marlene Dietrich quote Witness For The Prosecution, it was "I never faint if I can't do it gracefully" or something like that
that’s racist
@@lucifermorningstar3709 Black out, as in faint or get knocked out
@@fytra2025 ‘twas but a joke
Black Out matters
I don't have a wife, or have ever played golf but this is pretty educational
ruddy illanes why would you need a wife when you could bang a co workers on the side
Carrot Manchester bamboozled again
nor have ever gotten laid
1k likes, fear me
@@Grgrqr , fear
Shall consume you, like I consumed the mayonaise after it transformed into a humungous, violent monster, that resembled my friend's sister that I was hitting on
I'm watching this after "Porkin' Across America" and... that marriage really was doomed from the start
Can you link it for me?
@MrPariah If you haven't seen it yet and wanna watch it, try not to read the comments until the end
Here's the playlist:
th-cam.com/play/PL4NL9i-Fu15jdlr2KQf_lyhXl5f0PFnzF.html
I know u from other comments
Funny story:
I watched that series while drinking Pepsi, and by the last episode...
Let's just say I can't bring myself to drink pepsi ever again because of the ptsd the taste gives me.
I came here from the valentines day stoning and keep getting sent to earlier videos.
I love the fake morning show enthusiasm.
Instructions not clear. Now I'm sleeping with both... 😐
Just say no homo, and you will be OK.
XD
That's actually better?
Plot twist they're in a loving polyamorous triad
Any hole's a goal
Hey. Thats not satire. Its actual useful information
(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)
I like the advice about deliberately avoiding mentioning his wife's name, and acting like you barely remember who she is.
You don't gain anything by saying, "hey, I'm fucking your wife," though. It just increases the odds of you end up being murdered. Instead, you do better by avoiding the topic as much as possible, and, if not possible, try to divert to a fake "me too" thing, on suspicions on how your own wife or girlfriend may having an affair, or yet, how she actually had once, but then everything got sorted out and you're happy together, saying that ironically being cuckolded was sort of a growing experience as it taught you how to have a better relationship, as a warning sign of neglect and so forth, and maybe some zen hippie stuff on how being physically possessive of a partner is something we all must overcome for our own good but even for the relationship, and so forth.
@@petitio_principii What did you even just say?
@@ikagura basically he said avoid joking about fucking someone's wife. If you can't avoid the topic of having an affair then turn it into a "Oh I can relate to that" situation and make some kind of moral lesson out of it lol.
“Pack A Weapon In Your Golf Bag In Case Outing Is A Trap”
Onion please come back
Every club in the bag is a potential weapon lol
@@bryankochar7615 They have a club as well. You want something that gives you distance to stack the odds in your favour.
Whoever the actor for Jim is, he is an excellent actor.
His real name is Brad Holbrook
666 likes
he was in i am legend
@@yungtooli what was his role?
@@dillpickle5960 he played a news anchor in the beginning of the movie
"its not your fault he cant satisfy his own wife" hahahaha onion i fuckin love you!!!
Hi
Hello
To be fair shes probably colder than a dead fish. And smells worse
@@zapkvr nah she’s pretty active in bed. Ask your gf and mom
Nice to meet you
2:21 The look on Jim's face was absolutely hilarious.
fantastic acting
He deserves 3 Oscars for that
Okay...
He's thinking, wait... is he not joking?
I just started golf lessons. Glad I found this episode as my instructor omitted this important information.
Play uno reverse card - tell your instructor that you are fkin his wife
Maybe he's banging your wife hahahahaha
I'm kidding of course
What I really like about the writing in this one is the way that they characterized the golf pro. I felt like he keeps banging other men's wives expecting it to bring him some fulfillment, some feeling of conquest and superiority. But in the end it feels just as empty and meaningless as everything else he does. So he escalates to flaunting the banging of their wives in front of the husband and it still doesn't give him a twinge of feeling so now it's more of a panicked reaction to have affairs' because he doesn't know how to escalate it further as he is frantically trying to stave off the existential dread that nothing will ever bring his power fantasies to fruition and he is doomed to constantly live with the feeling of being unsatisfied and purposeless, but lacks the necessary inner-reflection to divert course. So he just mindlessly rushes headlong down the only path he sees, while being vaguely aware that he is powerless over this feeling and the real impotency is his ability to achieve any sort of life fulfilling sense of meaning.
wew lad
Me when I have to reach a word count
@@MikeyJMJ your comment was actually more funny and insightful than OP's mediocre diatribe
That hits
Philosophy overload...! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
2:06 the random caddy in the background doing his job as though they're on the green 😂
I was thinking the same thing! Like, what was the purpose of that?!?!? lol
@@alfredschnozzenstein1657 it's details like these that keep the Onion as a trustworthy source of information - they truly know what they're talking about!
That's hilarious. He has a whole set of clubs instead of just handing him one for demonstration.
I dont know who was writing those 10 years ago - but damn, this is perfection from start to finish. The script, the settings, the acting!
“How to shake down caddy’s for some overheard stock tips” that had me weak asf
Most underrated joke by far
😂😂😂😂😂😂 had me dead
"Don't call his wife by name, act like you barely even remember her" "that'll probably be the case in a couple weeks anyway" *both laugh*
Man I fucking lost my shit 😫😂🤣😭
i can tell from the title this ones gonna be a banger
a real bangher
Banger? But I've just met her!
I watch this show every day. I love real news and real tips like this that you don't find on other news channels.
Please come back “the onion” these videos are all classics lmao!
Yeah, I mean I'm sure a lot of people can fund their videos if they ask for it
I wish they would, but I don't think they can afford to make these types of expensive sets videos again. The PC police and the new hyper sensitive generation don't take kindly to humor.
I know right... i hope they return
@@mc1993 also now the new thing to mock is the mass amount of meaningless influencer content
@@mc1993The Onion has always been run by liberals lol, it’s not the “PC Police” that made them stop these
lol 'slashed his tires and moved on' haha
I’m sorry but the actor for Jim haggerty in all these onion bits is just top class. Like he is incredible
2:28 that menacing smile 🤣
That’s the clincher!
The stuff that this TH-cam channel has come up with is way better than anything SNL has ever made
Bruuuh no one makes good videos like this anymore. These are the gems of TH-cam
Reminds me of an old joke:
Two ministers are playing golf. The first says, "You know, before I was married, I never even slept with my wife. What about you?"
The second thinks for a second and answers, "I don't know... But tell me, what was your wife's maiden name?"
The better punchline is…"I'm not sure. When exactly did you get married?"
God, I wish the onion made a full 30+ min episode of this show. Just one. You know, like a real morning breakfast show.
guess you can take the episodes and stich them together, they have break motiοn graphics in between anyway. add some adds too
“I loved my dad then he died”
“Oh that must have been tough.”
The laugh at 1:00 is absolute perfection. These two actors are fully aware of the white guy laugh and crush it lmao
are you american?
@@Vekikev1 of course he's American. Noone else uses terms like "white guy x" and "black guy y".
@@JapanischErfahren because most other countries don’t have the same level of diversity as the US 🤡
it’s all about race isn’t it
@@hithere640They said white guy, so that type of laugh is just as much about gender as about race. I'd add age, and having moderate wealth
2:15 love how he's slowly realising what's going on
This comment is so old the timestamp is not working properly because it wasn't a feature back then. And this clip is still top level comedy.
This is maybe my favorite Onion video pound for pound. Great one liners, perfect realism.
Pound pound indeed
The fact they didn't laugh the entire time and maintained serious face is showing how good actors they are haha Keep up the good work!
They did laugh, and they didn't have serious faces. This isn't that kind of skit. The roles called for friendly banter, so they're behaving jovially
I love the part about losing weight at the beginning.
Most underrated part of the video
Funniest part
@Jeremy Garvey I feel the power surging trough me
tiger woods?
Apparently infidelity is common amongst golf pro's. Tiger was simply caught.
@@SophiaAphrodite that's why they are pro's
More like tiger’s wood
@@SophiaAphrodite And then his wife went all Carrie Underwood and beat his car with his own golf club.
holy shit you made me laugh
2:20 is the best reaction I've ever seen
Jim Haggarty is great. Love his befuddled reaction at 2:00.
The actors on the Today Now sketches absolutely nail their roles as morning show hosts. It's uncanny.
I noticed that too. It’s like the morning show host actor was born to play that role. He would be perfect as an actual host.
the segues in this are pure genius.
"Stay with us because coming up a bit later on in the show we're going to be visited by our diet expert who's going to show us how to lose weight by reducing our bone density!"
"We're going to head back over to Tracy now, she's got some tips on things that ladies like to do".
"things ladies like to do" followed by "How to black out gracefully"
There is so much comedic talent here, the way he delivers the line “sort of like you’re tip toeing out of the backdoor of a mans house” as he swings is just superbly comical. 1:07
How creative this dialouge and acting are is beyond me
When your wifes boyfriend takes you out for a game of golf
Why does the onion have some of the most talented actors ive ever seen
Completely unrelated, but congratulations to Tiger on his 2019 Masters win.
Completely!
🍗 #FriedChicken 🍗🍗 #PouletFrit 🍗
Wow......
Is he your daddy?
big boy I am thankful that Tiger stood behind our Glorious MAGA Leader every step of the way.
Good advice! I used to have no idea what to do when I play with my brother in law but now I know a lot.
The coach is an excellent actor he is fully committed to method acting 😂
That confused laugh at the end is gold!
I can't watch Jim Haggerty anymore without thinking about Porkin' Across America.
same..... I feel like bits like these pre-Porkin Across America just add to the canon. Like his life was an apologue for us mere mortals to indulge
You mean Pig Haggerty?
Blacking out gracefully is a key skill in a social environment.
When satire is more believable than the actual news.
0:39 the look on his face when the guy looks him in the eyes and says "and even your best friend!"
1:39 was so casual. Lol.
This is one of the greatest videos I’ve ever seen
Thank you for sharing I showed this video to the people in my village and we all agree that it changed our lives for ever.
Today Now! was always sheer genius - every aspect of it. Literally too good to last.
So dry humour, love it.
The Onion makes SNL look like teenage amateur hour.
I don't understand why we can't have this anymore, this is the most brilliant thing I've seen and it isn't getting made anymore?
Holy shit. I had to watch it again immediately after the first time. When he said "if its not me banging her its somebody else" really hit differently the second time around 😳
if you tune in and think this is a actual news program they did their job haha i loveeee this channel.. freaking hilariouse
I have to be honest ... the Onion has always been ON POINT with their stuff. This is better than 99.9% of "humor" stuff on TH-cam, and it was made over a decade ago.
The acting on all these are amazing.
I like how each tip is tacked on to golf instruction like it's just another swing thought to keep track of.
The acting in this one is just extraordinary. Chef's kiss all around
"I slashed his tires and moved on." Golden
"Remember, if it's not you nailing her, it's somebody else!"
That slayed me
"Yeah see ya later, say hi to Tracy for me!"
"What"
"What"
...
"my dad and I played a lot of golf... I loved my dad... and then he died" it was at this moment that I paused the video and spent a good 2-3 minutes crying while laughing harder than I have in a long time.
I liked this in the hopes that the issue of 'How to blackout gracefully' is addressed
That slightly camp wiggle during "...what ladies like to do!" - so spot on.
So funny, that! The attention to detail in Onion's videos is simply astonishing. Almost every second in them features a little nuance or subtlety that just nails common (and inherently ridiculous) human behaviour.
"How to black out gracefully". I need to watch that ... 🙏🥺🥺🥺
"Final Tip: Pack A Weapon In Your Golf Bag In Case Outing Is A Trap."
The segments in this show are way more useful than expected
“Final tip: Pack a weapon in your golf bag in case outing is a trap.”
The actor playing the golf pro was effing brilliant!
0:58 that laugh though with "Probably the case in few weeks anyway "
this gets said fairly often on here, but the onion seriously knew how to cast some amazing actors. and thats not even discussing how clever the writing is. so ahead of their time
You need to rewatch this to really appreciate how incredibly done this is and really realise what is going on!
Man, those over 10 years old sketches are lit AF.
2:18
"Ok"
I... I love everything about this. So funny.
The acting in this is absolutely top drawer
man these were sooooo ahead of their time. The onion is truly one of the internets most underrated gold minds.
"...that ladies like to do" How To Blackout Gracefully
😂
"Focus on an object down the fairway to avoid eye contact with the man you're cuckolding" lmfao 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂
I love how the host got uncomfortable. Very subtle, I saw it coming but its very good acting and execution. Less obvious than I anticipated.
So nuanced. Genius
The title is a meme already, the video makes it a work of art
This is so wonderfully done.